RIP Gary Speed - Mod Note 292

adamski8

How could a suicidal text message days before, a fight with his wife that night and being found hanging in the garage deemed a possible accidental death? Strange

niallo27

adamski8 wrote: »

How could a suicidal text message days before, a fight with his wife that night and being found hanging in the garage deemed a possible accidental death? Strange

It is odd no note was left though. How could it have being accidental though.

PeterTwo

adamski8 wrote: »

How could a suicidal text message days before, a fight with his wife that night and being found hanging in the garage deemed a possible accidental death? Strange

What I take from it is that he was contemplating suicide but accidentally killed himself in the process. I know that sounds silly, but he may have slipped or something while mulling over whether to go through with it or not.

More than likely though it was just suicide.

ASOT

Said in the coroners report that he thinks he may have fallen asleep and accidentally killed himself.

I think we may need a second opinion as the coroner sounds like a moron.

Professional Griefer

Erotic Autoasphyxiation??

Doubt it myself though.

Blatter

He was sitting on the step of his garage for some time with a rope around his neck. It was said that it was possible that it was some sort of dramatic gesture and he fell asleep and accidentally killed himself.

It would be like somebody standing on the edge of a cliff, contemplating jumping off but never really serious about going through with it, and then slipping.

The lack of evidence of a disturbed mind is the thing that creates the doubt.

UnitedIrishman

Is it pretty much the same as over here where they call it 'death by misadventure'?

amacachi

Blatter wrote: »

He was sitting on the step of his garage for some time with a rope around his neck. It was said that it was possible that it was some sort of dramatic gesture and he fell asleep and accidentally killed himself.

It would be like somebody standing on the edge of a cliff, contemplating jumping off but never really serious about going through with it, and then slipping.

The lack of evidence of a disturbed mind is the thing that creates the doubt.

I dunno, even that still shows something of a disturbed mind to me. Wasn't it reported that there was a text to his wife mentioning suicide?

UnitedIrishman wrote: »

Is it pretty much the same as over here where they call it 'death by misadventure'?

Over here I think that allows insurance claims to go through more easily, dunno about there.

jordainius

MD1990 wrote: »

The coroner said "the evidence does not sufficiently determine whether this was intentional or accidental".

I would have considered actually putting the noose around his head as reasonably conclusive evidence.

I'm rather uncomfortable with the finding of this report. If there was no intent, then the only other possible conclusions are along the lines of a second party being involved (which I consider extremely unlikely), or as has been said in two other posts; Erotic autoasphyxiation or it some kind of dramatic gesture. The report only clouds the issue and if anything raises question marks about GSpeed's character. All a load of rubbish in my opinion.

Neil3030

I don't think this inquest is about shaking out third parties or sexual mishaps, it's about determining whether or not the death was accidental.

Suicidal ideation (basically, wishing you were dead) is certainly not the same as suicidal intent (constructing a specific plan to kill yourself).

The boundaries are blurred when someone puts a rope around their neck. But it may still merely be an accident resulting from a very dangerous manner of ideation (albeit certainly in the territory of intent).

Such a difficult call to make. What if he did this kind of thing regularly; i.e., sit with a rope around his neck while merely idealising being dead. Maybe this was a release for him and it all went terribly wrong.

Who knows. I am glad that they are at least looking into it.

8-10

1 year on. RIP.

GavRedKing

Was genuinely surprised it was a year already.

aidan24326

The fuzzy and inconclusive coroners report only lead to unnecessary speculation about the cause of death. (speculation which was understandable given that accidental hanging is a pretty bizarre way to die).

Everyone who met him or dealt with him in the days and hours leading up to it said that he seemed happy and was in a positive frame of mind. Such a shame.

Da Shins Kelly

aidan24326 wrote: »

The fuzzy and inconclusive coroners report only lead to unnecessary speculation about the cause of death. (speculation which was understandable given that accidental hanging is a pretty bizarre way to die).

Everyone who met him or dealt with him in the days and hours leading up to it said that he seemed happy and was in a positive frame of mind. Such a shame.

Depressed people are often very good at hiding it. You don't need to be crying in the corner in order to be depressed or suicidal. People often go about their lives with a front on, while inside they're completely at their wits ends. Often people don't want anyone to know how they really feel.

I don't buy the whole falling asleep with the noose around his neck. If you started choking in your sleep, you would wake up. The body would react to a situation like that. It may have been that he intended to make a gesture, thinking he would be found before he died, and then wasn't. I've heard of that happening, which seems more believable.

Anyway, RIP.

Al Capwned

Da Shins Kelly wrote: »

Depressed people are often very good at hiding it. You don't need to be crying in the corner in order to be depressed or suicidal. People often go about their lives with a front on, while inside they're completely at their wits ends. Often people don't want anyone to know how they really feel.

<snip>

This is so correct. This time last year, I was in a complete mess, due to a number of factors, but no-one knew about it. I bottled everything up, and tried to deal with everything at once instead of dealing with one thing at a time. I just felt that i couldnt talk to anyone, or that i didnt want to talk to anyone.

Long story short - i asked for help and i got it. Also one particular post in this thread was so helpful, it opened my eyes a bit, if you know what i mean. The place i went for help was excellent - the fact that i could even just sit back and talk about stuff was such a big help.

One year on, what a bloody difference - not gonna say everything is rosy and perfect, but i can deal with things now, and i dont let stuff get to me as much.

Anyways, RIP Gary....

aidan24326

Da Shins Kelly wrote: »

Depressed people are often very good at hiding it. You don't need to be crying in the corner in order to be depressed or suicidal. People often go about their lives with a front on, while inside they're completely at their wits ends. Often people don't want anyone to know how they really feel.

I don't buy the whole falling asleep with the noose around his neck. If you started choking in your sleep, you would wake up. The body would react to a situation like that. It may have been that he intended to make a gesture, thinking he would be found before he died, and then wasn't. I've heard of that happening, which seems more believable.

Anyway, RIP.

I know what you mean. But Alan Shearer, just for example, spoke with him at the BBC studios on the Saturday evening, just hours before he died, and said he was in great form. They chatted about a function they were going to the following weekend, about plans for a golfing holiday in Dubai etc. Earlier on Football Focus he'd spoken about his plans for the Welsh team and how he was excited about the upcoming games. So if he was hiding depression he was doing a hell of a job of it. I guess we'll never know for sure.

Da Shins Kelly

aidan24326 wrote: »

I know what you mean. But Alan Shearer, just for example, spoke with him at the BBC studios on the Saturday evening, just hours before he died, and said he was in great form. They chatted about a function they were going to the following weekend, about plans for a golfing holiday in Dubai etc. Earlier on Football Focus he'd spoken about his plans for the Welsh team and how he was excited about the upcoming games. So if he was hiding depression he was doing a hell of a job of it. I guess we'll never know for sure.

Like I say, people are very good at hiding it. We all probably know a lot of people who are currently experiencing or have experienced depression in their lives, but no one knows because they've kept it hidden. Admitting you have mental health issues is a difficult thing to do because of the stigma attached to it. If you feel like you're a burden to everyone in your life, the last thing you're going to do is start going on about, and he was hardly going to start showing off signs on television. That's what depression can feel like - that you're a weight on everyone else, and that's what often leads to suicidal thoughts ('everyone would be happier if I were dead', 'I'm holding everyone else back', etc.). Depression is a difficult thing to describe if you've never felt it, but it's a horrible feeling.

aidan24326

aidan24326 wrote: »

I know what you mean. But Alan Shearer, just for example, spoke with him at the BBC studios on the Saturday evening, just hours before he died, and said he was in great form. They chatted about a function they were going to the following weekend, about plans for a golfing holiday in Dubai etc. Earlier on Football Focus he'd spoken about his plans for the Welsh team and how he was excited about the upcoming games. So if he was hiding depression he was doing a hell of a job of it. I guess we'll never know for sure.

No offence but you seem quite naive on the subject.

You probably meet a few people every day suffering from depression and you wouldn't know.

Remember, what appears on the outside is not necessarily what's happening on the inside.

Hank Scorpio

Where did that year go? Still feels like it happened a few months ago

aidan24326

rarnes1 wrote: »

No offence but you seem quite naive on the subject.

You probably meet a few people every day suffering from depression and you wouldn't know.

Remember, what appears on the outside is not necessarily what's happening on the inside.

I spent some time in hospital a few years back, with deprerssion, so I assure you I'm not naieve on the subject at all. I know people can hide it, I just meant that Speed (if he was suffering from suicidal depression) seemed to do an especially good job of hiding it. You can put on the brave face, sunny side out and all that, but usually someone that knows you really well, like a close friend, will sooner or later suss that something isn't right. Yet no-one close to Gary Speed seemed to have any idea. And this is a guy that was in contact with lots of people almost every day. If he was terribly depressed it's just such a pity that he didn't seek help rather than bottle it up to that extent.

aidan24326

aidan24326 wrote: »

I spent some time in hospital a few years back, with deprerssion, so I assure you I'm not naieve on the subject at all. I know people can hide it, I just meant that Speed (if he was suffering from suicidal depression) seemed to do an especially good job of hiding it. You can put on the brave face, sunny side out and all that, but usually someone that knows you really well, like a close friend, will sooner or later suss that something isn't right. Yet no-one close to Gary Speed seemed to have any idea. And this is a guy that was in contact with lots of people almost every day. If he was terribly depressed it's just such a pity that he didn't seek help rather than bottle it up to that extent.

That's the crux of it unfortunately.

quarryman

rarnes1 wrote: »

No offence but you seem quite naive on the subject.

You probably meet a few people every day suffering from depression and you wouldn't know.

Remember, what appears on the outside is not necessarily what's happening on the inside.

Jesus, keyboard-warrior stuff if I've ever seen it. Telling someone who has been hospitalised with depression that they are naive, ffs.

rarnes1 wrote: »

From what I've been told when you reach that point, everything else seems irrelevant and rational thoughts disappear.

Tell us more of these wise things you've "been told", you're obviously an expert.

For the last time, there is no evidence to suggest Speed suffered depression, despite your clinical diagnosis and corrections of others who have.

Even if he was, it has been pointed out that those that do and plan suicide would give subtle indications to those closest to them. It almost all cases it's mentioned that the deceased had shown "off" behaviour. There is NOTHING to support this in Speed's case nor proof that he even suffered from depression.

Apologies for the rant here but it irks me to posters such as the above preaching and correcting others (with no firsthand knowledge) hidden behind their keyboards.

rarnes1, please stop posting this stuff.

noodler

Can we all stop pretending like we fcuking knew Gary Speed?


EDIT: You know, in relation to how he was acting beforehand.

quarryman

quarryman wrote: »

Jesus, keyboard-warrior stuff if I've ever seen it. Telling someone who has been hospitalised with depression that they are naive, ffs.




Tell us more of these wise things you've "been told", you're obviously an expert.

For the last time, there is no evidence to suggest Speed suffered depression, despite your clinical diagnosis and corrections of others who have.

Even if he was, it has been pointed out that those that do and plan suicide would give subtle indications to those closest to them. It almost all cases it's mentioned that the deceased had shown "off" behaviour. There is NOTHING to support this in Speed's case nor proof that he even suffered from depression.

Apologies for the rant here but it irks me to posters such as the above preaching and correcting others (with no firsthand knowledge) hidden behind their keyboards.

rarnes1, please stop posting this stuff.

Only one keyboard warrior and it isn't me.

I disagreed with Aidens post, then he told me that. You are saying it was the other way around. Anyway, none of your business.

The other post you quoted is a year old so open your eyes before jumping in two footed next time and rambling nonsense.

Da Shins Kelly

quarryman wrote: »

Jesus, keyboard-warrior stuff if I've ever seen it. Telling someone who has been hospitalised with depression that they are naive, ffs.




Tell us more of these wise things you've "been told", you're obviously an expert.

For the last time, there is no evidence to suggest Speed suffered depression, despite your clinical diagnosis and corrections of others who have.

Even if he was, it has been pointed out that those that do and plan suicide would give subtle indications to those closest to them. It almost all cases it's mentioned that the deceased had shown "off" behaviour. There is NOTHING to support this in Speed's case nor proof that he even suffered from depression.

Apologies for the rant here but it irks me to posters such as the above preaching and correcting others (with no firsthand knowledge) hidden behind their keyboards.

rarnes1, please stop posting this stuff.

Jesus, relax. Obviously it's all just speculation. People don't kill themselves for no reason, and we're just pointing out that often people are very good at hiding what's really going on inside of themselves.

SarahBM

I cant believe its been a year already. I remember I was watching Sky Sports news with my Dad and brother that morning when the news broke. Its just such a tragedy for his family and for all the footballing community. Im not going to pretend like I knew him or anything, but for some reason his death really upset me and my family. My dad and I were at the Leeds v Milwall game the wknd after Speed passed away. We sang his name for nearly all the first half, it was unbelievable.the tributes at Billy Bremner's statues were beautiful. He is greatly missed by all his fans. But thats nothing compared to what his family must be going through. I just hope they find some small comfort in the support from fans.

I hope Leeds can win tonight, it would be a lovely tribute to Speedo's memory.

[IMG][/img] S5034783
[IMG][/img] IMAG0206

jordainius

quarryman wrote: »

Jesus, keyboard-warrior stuff if I've ever seen it. Telling someone who has been hospitalised with depression that they are naive, ffs.

Absolutely not. There isn't the slightest hint of keyboard warrior stuff from rarnes1 and you really have taken him up the wrong way. It's completely unfair to say he told "someone who has been hospitalised with depression that they are naive", he had absolutely no idea, that only came to light after that post.

quarryman

jordainius wrote: »

Absolutely not. There isn't the slightest hint of keyboard warrior stuff from rarnes1 and you really have taken him up the wrong way. It's completely unfair to say he told "someone who has been hospitalised with depression that they are naive", he had absolutely no idea, that only came to light after that post.

Then why did he say it? He knows nothing about the poster's background but doles out judgement regardless.

rarnes1; I agree you probably meant no harm but please don't make assumptions on others around this topic. Thanks.

Zaph

Guys, any chance we could cut out all the sniping at one another and just remember Gary Speed for what he was, a superb advert for football both on and off the pitch?

counterlock

I can't believe its a year already. Leeds won tonight and had a minutes applause before the game in his honour.

RIP

eh i dunno

S4C are showing a documentary tonight on Gary Speed at 8.20 i think. Presented by John Hartson. In Welsh with english subtitles

Agueroooo

Wow 2yrs already.



anyone thinking they may need support or just a shoulder to lean on then just reach out and ask a loved one or stranger.
Support help and healing is out there.

Al Capwned

Hard to believe that three years have passed. Truly is.

This really hit me when it happened - was just so sad - kinda made me realise that maybe I needed to talk to someone too, eventually I did.

Fast forward three years, and I look back at who I was then and what I was going through and I am very thankful that I did talk to someone. Everyone needs to talk, to have someone to natter to, be that a friend, family member, counsellor or whoever.
It works.

GT_TDI_150

Still hard to come to terms with...

A man who seemingly had what most dream of having...

Just hope 3 yrs on i hope that his family have found a way to deal with it.

Al Capwned

Al Capwned wrote: »

Hard to believe that three years have passed. Truly is.

This really hit me when it happened - was just so sad - kinda made me realise that maybe I needed to talk to someone too, eventually I did.

Fast forward three years, and I look back at who I was then and what I was going through and I am very thankful that I did talk to someone. Everyone needs to talk, to have someone to natter to, be that a friend, family member, counsellor or whoever.
It works.

Good for you, great post.

Kerrigooney

Al Capwned wrote: »

Hard to believe that three years have passed. Truly is.

This really hit me when it happened - was just so sad - kinda made me realise that maybe I needed to talk to someone too, eventually I did.

Fast forward three years, and I look back at who I was then and what I was going through and I am very thankful that I did talk to someone. Everyone needs to talk, to have someone to natter to, be that a friend, family member, counsellor or whoever.
It works.

Can't have been easy to write that. Fair play to you.

efb

3 years. That seems like yesterday I heard and I was coming home from Dublin on the bus and I just started crying. Remember seeing him on Football Focus the day before and I never used watch it.

The man who seemed to have it all. I got very low after that and only talking with a colleague in work helped me realise how low I was.

Al Capwned

Kerrigooney wrote: »

Can't have been easy to write that. Fair play to you.

Cheers, but it's not hard to talk about it now tbh, I suppose I'm just open about it...

I just stuck a fairly lengthy post on FB there too to make pretty much the same point. If it can chip away at one person's wall that they've thrown up well sure it's doing a bit of good!

efb

Al Capwned wrote: »

Cheers, but it's not hard to talk about it now tbh, I suppose I'm just open about it...

I just stuck a fairly lengthy post on FB there too to make pretty much the same point. If it can chip away at one person's wall that they've thrown up well sure it's doing a bit of good!

Same as. Put his picture up. Remind people to look after their mental health

Al Capwned

efb wrote: »

Same as. Put his picture up. Remind people to look after their mental health

I would wager that a huge amount of people don't know how to do that though mate, that's the biggest thing....
People in trouble sometimes can't see a way out. Tragic.

efb

Al Capwned wrote: »

I would wager that a huge amount of people don't know how to do that though mate, that's the biggest thing....
People in trouble sometimes can't see a way out. Tragic.

I can't help everyone but I may help someone

MD1990

A great piece from Bellamy's book.

clappyhappy

MD1990 wrote: »

A great piece from Bellamy's book.

Wow!!