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Advice needed

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  • 04-12-2011 6:53pm
    #1
    Capri86
    Registered Users Posts: 246 ✭✭


    I'm living with my girlfriend and her daughter for over 2 years. I have been going out with my girlfriend for 3 years. Her daughter is 4. We have been very happy and her daughter feels as much mine as hers, though I would never try to replace her father I would like to think we are close.
    She goes to her dads every second weekend. she used to go on wednesdays but because school started in September its back to weekends as she never goes to bed on time when she is there and ends up in horrible form.
    Basically he is great to his daughter but as a father takes no responsibility and is horrible to us. He demands things from us but never asks. He has never paid a cent for anything. We pay for everything. He was asked this week could he start paying his way as we are struggling now. He told us to f*** off. We continue to send her to his on weekends as he has the right to see her, and she has the right to spend time with her dad. We wouldn't have it any other way. But he is so nasty to us and doesn't help out.
    Does he legally have to pay child support. I don't know anything about this.


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    #2
    silly
    Registered Users Posts: 1,722 ✭✭✭silly


    Legally, yes he does.
    Get obto a solicitor and start getting a court order done up.

    It can get messy though, so be prepared to fight!


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    #3
    Pinklady11
    Closed Accounts Posts: 253 ✭✭Pinklady11


    Yes he does have to pay maintenance. If he is refusing, your girlfriend can apply to the district court for maintenance. She will be given a court date and a summons will be sent to the child's father.


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    #4
    Capri86
    Registered Users Posts: 246 ✭✭Capri86


    Thanks we might do that. We never wanted to go to court but if we have to We will. He says he doesn't work but I don't think that is true. He is renting a house, has a car, and we often hear of new things he buys.
    He threatened us with going to court before because his daughter is being 'institutionalized' by going to creche when we are working and she should be staying with his mam. That's obviously ridiculous as she loves creche and has lots of friends and is much better for her.
    We decided we will take note of every expense, school, clothes etc and let him know what's expected of him


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    #5
    Pinklady11
    Closed Accounts Posts: 253 ✭✭Pinklady11


    Going to court is never easy but sometimes its the only way to resolve issues. As for him not working, it won't make any difference in court. My ex wasn't working but the judge still awarded me maintenance. The child comes first ALWAYS.

    Best of luck with whatever you decide to do.


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    #6
    Capri86
    Registered Users Posts: 246 ✭✭Capri86


    Thanks. Glad I asked the question


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    #7
    nesf
    Registered Users Posts: 27,645 ✭✭✭✭nesf


    Normally I'd caution that it might ruin the adult relationship with the father but it doesn't sound in this case that there's much to lose by going to court.


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    #8
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    The only advice I can mention is the creche fees.

    If your girlfriend is using the fee's as costs that she has to pay, and the ex mentions that his mother is willing to mind the child for free, then it is likely that the judge will think that is reasonable of your ex.

    Ive been to court many times.


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