"Men should speak out against abuse" campaign - but should women?

CDfm

Here is an interesting article from todays Indo on a DV campaign by a men's perpetrator group.

It is to be applauded that these perpetrators get their act together

Men 'must speak out against abuse'



Thursday December 08 2011

Men have to stand up and speak out to end domestic violence against women and children, it has been claimed.
A support group working with perpetrators of abuse backed an international campaign to stop attacks against women in the home.
Move (Men Overcoming Violence) hopes that participating in the 16 Days of Action on Violence Against Women will help more men to speak out against domestic violence.
Artist Robert Ballagh, who backed the campaign, said it was important for men to stand up and articulate their opposition to violence against women.
"Everyone should be opposed to violence in all its forms, particularly domestic violence," said Mr Ballagh.



http://www.independent.ie/breaking-news/national-news/men-must-speak-out-against-abuse-2959015.html

What is interesting though is that a similar campaign by Amen in October had no Womens Groups participating.

Some facts regarding domestic violence in Ireland:
In 2005 the National Crime Council of Ireland published the first ever large scale study on the nature, extent and impact of domestic abuse against women and men in Ireland.
They found that:

• 29% of women and 26% of men suffer domestic abuse.
• 13% of women and 13% of men suffer physical abuse.
• Only 1 in 20 men compared to 1 in 3 women reported the abuse to the Gardai.

http://www.amen.ie/Papers/Amen_Awareness_Campaign_October_2011.htm

I am willing to put money on it that if the funds spent on these organisations were given to the Women's GAA to do a non stereotype campaign.

I don't like these campaigns because by definition they do not condemn all DV.

A few weeks back a boardsie send me this link to include somewhere.

Scottish domestic violence stereotypes ‘fail gay and transgender people’



http://www.pinknews.co.uk/2011/09/06/scottish-domestic-violence-stereotypes-fail-gay-and-transgender-people/

Childline UK Say

Nine out of ten children who phone
ChildLine about sexual abuse say they are
abused by men. ChildLine also hears from
children who are abused by other young
people. Women are as likely as men to
abuse children physically or emotionally or
to neglect them.
Abusers can be rich or poor, black or
white, have any job or be unemployed.
They include parents, step-parents, uncles,
aunts, grandparents, teachers, family
friends, brothers and sisters.

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/newthread.php?do=newthread&f=21

Here is more

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/8347589.stm

This is 2011 and we are running campaigns that are more appropriate to the 1960's or 70's.

So come on peeps -lets be having it.

Morag

Women's Aid have a specific remit and are funded to tackle the issues relating to just that remit, that is just how it is. If you think there should be a more inclusive agency then lobby T.D.s and Senators to do away with both Women's Aid and Amen all together and create such an agency.

I think that statement that men need to speak out on domestic violence to be correct,
from the point of view of abhorring it and speaking out if they are victims or speaking out in support of those who are.

Usually the 16 days campaign is held in November this year it was moved to December
as the stress and strains associated with money worried and the festive season and the drinking which can happen an lead to more domestic violence.

CDfm

Sharrow wrote: »

I think that statement that men need to speak out on domestic violence to be correct,
from the point of view of abhorring it and speaking out if they are victims or speaking out in support of those who are.

I agree with the statement, I just don't think the campaign is going far enough or is inclusive enough.

Sure, I have discussed it with TD's and Senators and had a chat with President Higgins during his campaign too.

Mine is a bit of a minority opinion at times .

CDfm

Sharrow wrote: »

Women's Aid have a specific remit and are funded to tackle the issues relating to just that remit, that is just how it is.

The bit that always bothers me is that as a voluntary body/charity dedicated to tackling abuse it holds back on acknowledging abuse where others are victims.

I can never get how as an organization it can exclude female victims based on the gender of their abuser being female.

So its fine to say its remit is to help women but that's only a small subset of adult women in heterosexual relationships where the abuser is a male intimate partner.

That just excludes so many girls daughters of their abusers , mothers abused by their female adult children, elderly being "cared" for by their female abuser, and lesbians in abusive relationships.

So when you go down that exclusion zone where do you stop.

Morag

That is the client base they were set up to serve and the limited funding they get is based on serving that demographic which they are stretched to do with out broadening the client base. Is this system unfair? yes.

Does the the way successive governments have foisted off this issue and the services and supports needed to third party charities which they under fund a disgrace, certainly. But the fault lies with the system and the government which refuses to change it not with those doing the best they can (including many volunteers) to help those who are the majority of domestic abuse victims.

CDfm

I just can't understand how a charity dedicated to helping female victims of abuse just won't do that and do not criticize all female abuse for instance.

The past head of Women's Aid Denise Charlton is a lesbian so its hardly a hetero only organization.

Do you have any links to how they were set up as it seems unreal that they would be limited in how they apply aid to such a select demographic.

And, on funding are their funding grants that limited ?

I just wonder how it can work to exclude so many people.

Morag

They are dedicated to helping female victims of male abuse, the was the founding remit and the current remit and the remit which they are funded to deal with, if they vary from that they can loose their funding or end up diverting the little funds they have to try adapt the resources and services they have for a small % of clients they don't currently handle.

Yes it is wrong that there are not inclusive services, but attacking Women's Aid and the work that they do will not make those changes happen.

iptba

CDfm wrote: »

Do you have any links to how they were set up as it seems unreal that they would be limited in how they apply aid to such a select demographic.

And, on funding are their funding grants that limited ?

I just wonder how it can work to exclude so many people.

Yes, I'd be interested also to see information which says domestic violence funding for women victims (say) has to be restricted to those who suffer the violence at the hands of men. It's not something I recall reading - but I'm no expert.

CDfm

Sharrow wrote: »

They are dedicated to helping female victims of male abuse, the was the founding remit and the current remit and the remit which they are funded to deal with, if they vary from that they can loose their funding or end up diverting the little funds they have to try adapt the resources and services they have for a small % of clients they don't currently handle.

Yes it is wrong that there are not inclusive services, but attacking Women's Aid and the work that they do will not make those changes happen.

I have not attacked Women's Aid at all and if you look at the studies a lot of their resources get used for Travellers who represent a small percentage of the population. Travellers are certainly less than 1% of the Irish Population but use up a lot of Womens Aid Resourses.

http://www.womensaid.ie/download/pdf/housing_policy_practice_women.pdf

So is it a traveller charity or does it portray itself as one and the campaign is not targeted at travelers either?

Anyway, if you talk remit , Women's Aid raise money from the public and the public may want them to help others.

It shouldn't be made more complicated than it is for victims to come forward. And, stereotypes do that.

Morag

If certain members of the public do not like their remit then they don't have to donate to it.

CDfm

Sharrow wrote: »

If certain members of the public do not like their remit then they don't have to donate to it.

The word remit implies that they are exercising an official statutory function when in fact it is a voluntary group and chooses its own function.

It operates the way it does cos it wants to and there is free choice.

No one is making them do anything and that leaves the question still open as to why don't they and also if the public are aware of the self-limiting they do.

Womens-Aid implies they are available to all women and if it is heterosexual service delivery why don't they call it Hetero-Womens-Aid .

They don't.

No where on the front page of their website can I see that http://www.womensaid.ie/?gclid=CMX5k9vG-6wCFUNO4QodyXmSRw

If I look at is refuge site Sonas it does not mention this either.

It seem's crass to say it but it is hardly obvious.

The percentage of the population who are travellers is 0.5% approx and the lesbian /bisexual population is estimated as 5 to 6%.

So if we start deducting who it does not serve what % of women are we left with ?

It is associated with/advertises providing services for child victims , but a child can't pick if they are abused by a man or a woman.

And indeed, do they have a policy for female abusers who may use their refuges with their children ?

iptba

Sharrow wrote: »

If certain members of the public do not like their remit then they don't have to donate to it.

The government could be looked at as a donor - and it effectively uses our taxes to fund charitable services. So maybe the government should be saying that they won't give money to groups who discriminate against gay/bisexual members of society in the provision of services.

Morag

iptba wrote: »

The government could be looked at as a donor - and it effectively uses our taxes to fund charitable services. So maybe the government should be saying that they won't give money to groups who discriminate against gay/bisexual members of society in the provision of services.

That would be certainly a way to broaden the services, just like the rape crises network did.