The Online Dating Thread Part II **Mod Warning** Read First Post/or Post 7389

stargazer 68

Maguined wrote: »

Chatting to a girl on OKC, ask her out and she says she would like to go out with me "some time". A bit confused by the "some time" to be honest.

She is testing the waters to see if you want to go out with her. Say yes how about ....... and see what happens. That is if you want to go out with her!

Just seen that you asked her out!

Larianne

Maguined wrote: »

Chatting to a girl on OKC, ask her out and she says she would like to go out with me "some time". A bit confused by the "some time" to be honest.

Yeah, do as Dovies says! Just say "how about this weekend?" or "When are you free?".

awec

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KTRIC

Larianne wrote: »

heehee.

awec wrote: »

I thought that's what he meant too.

I did

Thats what all the ladiez want :cool:

Maguined

Ah I have already sent a message asking to organise things whenever she can be free as she has a much busier schedule than I do I just found it an odd way oh phrasing it to be honest.

Larianne

Maguined wrote: »

Ah I have already sent a message asking to organise things whenever she can be free as she has a much busier schedule than I do I just found it an odd way oh phrasing it to be honest.

Hmm. Yeah, it sounds like she's either very busy at the moment or she's not that arsed. 'Some time' is too bloody vague for my liking.

LegacyUser

Why would a guy ask if you wanted to go out again then never contact you? 1st date went really well and he asked me out again via text a week later. Date was to be confirmed and haven't heard from him for ages. (Please don't suggest I call/text him as I already more than my fare share of initiating contact).

Semele

I've been chatting (3 long-ish messages each way over the last week) with a really lovely guy who contacted me on POF...I finally bit the bullet today and asked if he wanted to meet up for a drink so fingers crossed he doesn't run a mile! I would never have had a problem doing the asking out first but it really had mixed responses last time I was online dating so I'm starting to second guess myself.

I'm just really not into a lengthy messaging scenario and he seemed like he was angling towards asking me to meet but was just too shy to come out with it. I figure he'll either be flattered or find it weird, and if he finds it weird then he's probably not my type anyway! It was a very casual drink-and-a-chat invite anyway so nothing inherantly scary I hope!

stargazer 68

Maguined wrote: »

Ah I have already sent a message asking to organise things whenever she can be free as she has a much busier schedule than I do I just found it an odd way oh phrasing it to be honest.

Depends on how you read it really.

awec

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Semele

On a more bizzare note, I have just received this from some loon on OKC:

"You are the maiden from Forest, who is written in La Dame Mercy, you are the Helen of Troy for who was fought a bloody war and cities were destroyed, you are the Queen Cleopatra who decided life all slaves, lovers and husband, You are Supreme. please allow me to serve you, please give me an opportunity to be your servant, and I ask for nothing more... ":D:rolleyes:

ecoli

Semele wrote: »

I've been chatting (3 long-ish messages each way over the last week) with a really lovely guy who contacted me on POF...I finally bit the bullet today and asked if he wanted to meet up for a drink so fingers crossed he doesn't run a mile! I would never have had a problem doing the asking out first but it really had mixed responses last time I was online dating so I'm starting to second guess myself.

I'm just really not into a lengthy messaging scenario and he seemed like he was angling towards asking me to meet but was just too shy to come out with it. I figure he'll either be flattered or find it weird, and if he finds it weird then he's probably not my type anyway! It was a very casual drink-and-a-chat invite anyway so nothing inherantly scary I hope!

I say fair play to you for making first move. Given the fact that many lads have to send numerous mails before even get a reply and then find chemistry with that person the whole experience at times can be a very disheartening experience and knock even the biggest egoist down a peg or two so I think the general majority of lads would be flattered more so than weirded out.

Larianne

I think I've approached and asked nearly all my dates out! Feck all that waiting around!

Fingerscrossed for ya Semele.

awec

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timewilltell

Date went well!

He was a lovely lad, and we had loads in common, but I think it'll be more of a friendship than anything!

zuroph

ugh, friendzoned on a dating site? Lousy.

Captain Havoc

Started chatting to a girl during the week with similar interests but a small drive away, I suspect she's lost interest (I've bored her), should I just go for broke and ask to meet up or just leave it?

KamiKazeKitten

Captain Havoc wrote: »

Started chatting to a girl during the week with similar interests but a small drive away, I suspect she's lost interest (I've bored her), should I just go for broke and ask to meet up or just leave it?

Ask her!

What harm can it do?

G-Money

Maguined wrote: »

Chatting to a girl on OKC, ask her out and she says she would like to go out with me "some time". A bit confused by the "some time" to be honest.

Either she's interested or isn't that bothered/is keeping you as a backup.

fat__tony

zuroph wrote: »

ugh, friendzoned on a dating site? Lousy.

was this the girl you've been going out with for two months?

how did that happen?

id be seriously annoyed if it were me.

Itwasntme.

I have been chatting to a couple of guys for over a month now, on pof, phone and even skype and I am totally fine with it (not going on a date) as it works for me but from reading this, it seems most people wouldn't want it that way. Should I take it that these guys probably want to ask me out and just have got the nerve or maybe they are just not interested and are indulging my love of penpaling out of a sense of politeness or just as okay with the arrangement as I am...? Confused from reading about what are considered acceptable lengths of time chatting before going on a date.

stargazer 68

Itwasntme. wrote: »

Confused from reading about what are considered acceptable lengths of time chatting before going on a date.

There is no 'acceptable lengths of time' - you can start chatting today and go out tomorrow if you want to. If they havent asked you out then they may not be going to or they just dont know if you want to. ASK THEM!! Someone else will and you will be in the 'friend zone' which is not the idea

Itwasntme.

Dovies wrote: »

There is no 'acceptable lengths of time' - you can start chatting today and go out tomorrow if you want to. If they havent asked you out then they may not be going to or they just dont know if you want to. ASK THEM!! Someone else will and you will be in the 'friend zone' which is not the idea

But I don't want the lovely conversations to end!! I've been on dates with people I really liked talking to, dates were great but I didn't fancy them and even though they said they were okay with being friends after, none of them ever responded to the messages sent after. I just don't want to lose any more fun people. And now I sound like a total psycho who collects people for conversations.

stargazer 68

Itwasntme. wrote: »

But I don't want the lovely conversations to end!! I've been on dates with people I really liked talking to, dates were great but I didn't fancy them and even though they said they were okay with being friends after, none of them ever responded to the messages sent after. I just don't want to lose any more fun people. And now I sound like a total psycho who collects people for conversations.

Well you are either looking for friends or dates! Sucks! Had it happen to me too but thats how it works. People dont want friends they want lurrrrvee :P

fat__tony

Itwasntme. wrote: »

But I don't want the lovely conversations to end!! I've been on dates with people I really liked talking to, dates were great but I didn't fancy them and even though they said they were okay with being friends after, none of them ever responded to the messages sent after. I just don't want to lose any more fun people. And now I sound like a total psycho who collects people for conversations.

This is really what irritates me about some women.

Why on earth are you even on a dating site then if you're just going to be 'friends' with people? Its a waste of people's time, period.

In my opinion, as soon as a girl brings out the 'friend-zone' sentence, I drop them, plain and simple.

Itwasntme.

Dovies wrote: »

Well you are either looking for friends or dates! Sucks! Had it happen to me too but thats how it works. People dont want friends they want lurrrrvee :P

:pac::pac: I want luuuuuurve too I guess but why can't we be friends if the luuuurve is not going to happen? That's what I don't understand.

Itwasntme.

fat__tony wrote: »

This is really what irritates me about some women.

Why on earth are you even on a dating site then if you're just going to be 'friends' with people? Its a waste of people's time, period.

In my opinion, as soon as a girl brings out the 'friend-zone' sentence, I drop them, plain and simple.

Oh come on- that's a bit harsh. If we both had a great time chatting, went on a date and there was no spark- why wouldn't you want to be friends if we had a good time?

fat__tony

Itwasntme. wrote: »

Oh come on- that's a bit harsh. If we both had a great time chatting, went on a date and there was no spark- why wouldn't you want to be friends if we had a good time?

No, its not harsh. It would be a complete and utter waste of my time because my intent is a long-term relationship.

I have absolutely no desire to make any friends from online dating. The key word being 'dating'.

If you want to make friends then join a meet-up group or a local sports club.

Itwasntme.

fat__tony wrote: »

No, its not harsh. It would be a complete and utter waste of my time because my intent is a long-term relationship.

I have absolutely no desire to make any friends from online dating. The key word being 'dating'.

If you want to make friends then join a meet-up group or a local sports club.

How does pursuing a platonic relationship after a failed date constitute a complete and utter waste of your time? It wouldn't stop you from continuing to pursue other interests.

stupidusername

I agree Itwasntme, but not everyone is up for being friends if things don't work out, and you have to accept that. I met one of my best friends through OKC though, so no harm in asking anyway