The Online Dating Thread Part II **Mod Warning** Read First Post/or Post 7389

ecoli

First reply after around 15 mails over the last week woohoo:p.

It really is a game of perseverance:D Not exactly an epic novel of a response but baby steps haha

GrumPy

Second date tomorrow night with the lovely lady from Wednesday evening! Can't wait.

Itwasntme.

GrumPy wrote: »

Second date tomorrow night with the lovely lady from Wednesday evening! Can't wait.

Good for you dude. Hope it goes well again.

ecoli

GrumPy wrote: »

Second date tomorrow night with the lovely lady from Wednesday evening! Can't wait.

Best of luck

What about everyone else many dates planned or are people trying to avoid this weekend being the one closest to valentines day?

timewilltell

zuroph wrote: »

ugh, friendzoned on a dating site? Lousy.

Was that in response to my post?

You don't even know the full details.

IHeartShoes

Itwasntme. wrote: »

But I don't want the lovely conversations to end!! I've been on dates with people I really liked talking to, dates were great but I didn't fancy them and even though they said they were okay with being friends after, none of them ever responded to the messages sent after. I just don't want to lose any more fun people. And now I sound like a total psycho who collects people for conversations.

I think the same way! Have gotten on amazingly well with some boys online - piss my pants laughing, they were so funny. Didn't translate on date or no chemistry but would have liked to have stayed in contact and even though they agreed to before date (stay pals if it didn't work out) I was dropped like a hot cake when I wasn't interested in second date. Happened more than once. But one boy in particular I haven't met yet is still in contact - seems to be the key

Ammsy500

ecoli wrote: »

GrumPy wrote: »

Second date tomorrow night with the lovely lady from Wednesday evening! Can't wait.

Best of luck

What about everyone else many dates planned or are people trying to avoid this weekend being the one closest to valentines day?

2nd date(god haven't had one of those in a while!) planned for Sunday

Samich

People on about dating on the late late :P Suppose might try approaching more girls on nights out sober.

Larianne

Date Friday \0/

GrumPy

Samich wrote: »

People on about dating on the late late :P Suppose might try approaching more girls on nights out sober.

Just missed the discussion, but tuned in just in time for the full brunt of the awful, awful cringe-tastic blind date part. A little bit of me died inside watching it!

Dravokivich

Larianne wrote: »

Date Friday \0/

Give us all the goss at the beers on saturday yeah? :P

AJG

Hey, interesting thread. I was on POF for about 7 or 8 months and just deleted my profile there tonight. It was definitely an interesting time but I guess largely fruitless for making any lasting relationships with. I think I must have went out on at least 30 or 40 dates in that time(maybe even more ).

I guess from reading people's responses there are a few things that reoccurred over that time:

A lot of women are less than honest about their body shapes, I genuinely met maybe one or two thin/athletic girl's in all my time there although the term is bandied about often. I myself swim 4 or 5 times a week and would have put it down. I'm not conceited or anything but I guess I feel I earned it ha, ha. I guess it was always a shock to discover someone was carrying a few more pounds than their profile pics would let on. I guess the girl's could say the same about the guy's too.

I guess I learned not to have too many expectations from dates. The most I could hope for was a couple of hours of decent conversation (if I was lucky).

I also got used to not build up too much of an impression of the person beforehand as I often had my preconceptions shattered. Sometimes they were better in real life and other times they were nothing like their 'online persona'.

I also found POF to be a very humourless place. I mean really devoid of humour. My profile was pretty tongue in cheek. My mate and I even made a 'dating video' starring myself with his voice overdubbed on top. It's actually a laugh and the link is here:

Any questions or comments I'd love to hear them because I'm fresh out of ideas ha, ha.

awec

This post has been deleted.

Samich

GrumPy wrote: »

Just missed the discussion, but tuned in just in time for the full brunt of the awful, awful cringe-tastic blind date part. A little bit of me died inside watching it!

The woman was gorgeous, as was miss Ireland. My my :P

I hate watching them sort of things, jealousy :P Love when the woman is a b*tch too :P

Larianne

AJG wrote: »

Hey, interesting thread. I was on POF for about 7 or 8 months and just deleted my profile there tonight. It was definitely an interesting time but I guess largely fruitless for making any lasting relationships with. I think I must have went out on at least 30 or 40 dates in that time(maybe even more ).

That's a lot of dates. What way did you do it? Did you have lots of dates lined up one after the other or whatever you could get??

I think going on multiple dates in a week hinders you from really making an effort with the date you go on. You're not really taking in everything about them. You have to remember their mails/texts/conversation as well as the other 2,3,4 girls you're mailing. It may limit you a little by sticking to the one person but I think you know pretty quick from messages whether you want to meet up and then can move on and if you do meet up soon after mails start, then you're not wasting too much time on the one person if you get me.

AJG wrote: »

I guess from reading people's responses there are a few things that reoccurred over that time:

A lot of women are less than honest about their body shapes, I genuinely met maybe one or two thin/athletic girl's in all my time there although the term is bandied about often. I myself swim 4 or 5 times a week and would have put it down. I'm not conceited or anything but I guess I feel I earned it ha, ha. I guess it was always a shock to discover someone was carrying a few more pounds than their profile pics would let on. I guess the girl's could say the same about the guy's too.

This works both ways and I guess it can be subjective too. Take me for example, I'm a size 12 dress size. Some guys/girls may call that curvy, some may see it as fat, some may see me as skinny. If you are quite an athletic guy, you may be more likely to see anyone with a bit of softness as larger than normal. (Maybe.. I'm just thinking out loud here. I know there are people out there that totally lie about their physical appearence.)

AJG wrote: »

I guess I learned not to have too many expectations from dates. The most I could hope for was a couple of hours of decent conversation (if I was lucky).

I found this too. But I do think you need to be somewhat excited about going on a date.

AJG wrote: »

I also got used to not build up too much of an impression of the person beforehand as I often had my preconceptions shattered. Sometimes they were better in real life and other times they were nothing like their 'online persona'.

Again, yep. You save some of this hassle by meeting sooner rather than later in my experience.

AJG wrote: »

I also found POF to be a very humourless place. I mean really devoid of humour. My profile was pretty tongue in cheek. My mate and I even made a 'dating video' starring myself with his voice overdubbed on top. It's actually a laugh and the link is here:

Any questions or comments I'd love to hear them because I'm fresh out of ideas ha, ha.

Is that really you?? :pac:

I always use humour when contacting people on those sites. That's just me. If the guy doesn't find my message funny its a litmus test, they don't get me and it probably wouldn't work out anyway.

I decided to test this out recently by setting up a profile with no photos and very limited info about me. Any description was a píss take about myself. Ended up reeling a guy in there solely with my wit and charm. :pac: And he said he found me attractive before seeing my picture. Dunno about that but sure there ya go.

I don't think there is any one right way of doing it. I think a lot of it is luck. Pure luck.

AJG

That's a lot of dates. What way did you do it? Did you have lots of dates lined up one after the other or whatever you could get??

I started off slow in the beginning. But I guess in the last couple of months I met a bunch of people. It probably only averages a date a week over that time. You kind of get adept at setting them up pretty quickly once your on there awhile. Whatever I could get, ha, ha. The video might make me seem insane but I'm no desperado.

I think going on multiple dates in a week hinders you from really making an effort with the date you go on. You're not really taking in everything about them. You have to remember their mails/texts/conversation as well as the other 2,3,4 girls you're mailing. It may limit you a little by sticking to the one person but I think you know pretty quick from messages whether you want to meet up and then can move on and if you do meet up soon after mails start, then you're not wasting too much time on the one person if you get me.

You'll know pretty much within a very short time if it's a runner from my experience. Over the Christmas I think I did one every day or two of my holidays. Most of my friends being married with kids makes this a much easier option for me

This works both ways and I guess it can be subjective too. Take me for example, I'm a size 12 dress size. Some guys/girls may call that curvy, some may see it as fat, some may see me as skinny. If you are quite an athletic guy, you may be more likely to see anyone with a bit of softness as larger than normal. (Maybe.. I'm just thinking out loud here. I know there are people out there that totally lie about their physical appearence.)

I've been both athletic and fat ha, ha. When someone says thin I assume they mean 'Euro skinny'. Likewise athletic would be 'toned'. 99% of those I met would be average at best. Damn does that make me sound like a prick reading it back.


Yeah the video really is me. A lot of people found it funny so I stuck it up on my profile. It sort of made an interesting ice breaker. I guess most people aren't as shameless as me

Larianne

AJG wrote: »

I started off slow in the beginning. But I guess in the last couple of months I met a bunch of people. It probably only averages a date a week over that time. You kind of get adept at setting them up pretty quickly once your on there awhile. Whatever I could get, ha, ha. The video might make me seem insane but I'm no desperado.




You'll know pretty much within a very short time if it's a runner from my experience. Over the Christmas I think I did one every day or two of my holidays. Most of my friends being married with kids makes this a much easier option for me




I've been both athletic and fat ha, ha. When someone says thin I assume they mean 'Euro skinny'. Likewise athletic would be 'toned'. 99% of those I met would be average at best. Damn does that make me sound like a prick reading it back.


Yeah the video really is me. A lot of people found it funny so I stuck it up on my profile. It sort of made an interesting ice breaker. I guess most people aren't as shameless as me

Maybe join a sports club?? :pac:

ecoli

@AJG: Out of interest when you are talking of roughly a date a week, How many did you line up in advance? It could have been a case of you spent alot of time thinking of the following date as opposed to one at hand. A case of the grass being green on the other side because like you said you have a notion that you are being let down by this person and having the assumption the next one isn't a let down based on the profile rather than the person themselves

Larianne

Larianne wrote: »

Date Friday \0/

Sorry to rub it in, but just to say this is a second date with a really cute guy! \0/

awec

This post has been deleted.

AJG

ecoli wrote: »

@AJG: Out of interest when you are talking of roughly a date a week, How many did you line up in advance? It could have been a case of you spent alot of time thinking of the following date as opposed to one at hand. A case of the grass being green on the other side because like you said you have a notion that you are being let down by this person and having the assumption the next one isn't a let down based on the profile rather than the person themselves

It really depended. I'd set one up a week at the start. Say up until about October. I left the site for most of October up until mid November when I saw someone for about a month or so. It was a bit easier when I got back on by mid-November because I dated all the people I had been talking to previously but never got around to meeting for one reason or another. I don't think 'the grass is greener' thing really affected me. There was only a small proportion of these dates that the girl would have done it for me in real life on a purely physical attraction basis though. I'd give each a fair one, I'd stay all night chatting with them even if I wasn't that interested in them romantically. I did get to meet a lot of characters both good and bad. It wasn't a negative experience in any way except maybe romantically? I think it teaches you a lot about yourself and people's perceptions of you. I mean if you watched the video what preconceptions would you have?

ecoli

AJG wrote: »

It really depended. I'd set one up a week at the start. Say up until about October. I left the site for most of October up until mid November when I saw someone for about a month or so. It was a bit easier when I got back on by mid-November because I dated all the people I had been talking to previously but never got around to meeting for one reason or another. I don't think 'the grass is greener' thing really affected me. There was only a small proportion of these dates that the girl would have done it for me in real life on a purely physical attraction basis though. I'd give each a fair one, I'd stay all night chatting with them even if I wasn't that interested in them romantically. I did get to meet a lot of characters both good and bad. It wasn't a negative experience in any way except maybe romantically? I think it teaches you a lot about yourself and people's perceptions of you. I mean if you watched the video what preconceptions would you have?

In work atm :mad: so can't access the vid will check it out later.

Not having a go at you here either just think it could sub conciously have been a factor. I could imagine if you have a fair bit of attention from women it can become a case of a person thinking (even if it only a fleeting thought at the back of their mind) that "they have to impress me" as oppose to both being on a level playing field in terms of starting out on a date. Still I think that the dates regardless can be a great confidence builder just in terms of social interaction and how comfortable talking to people from a relatively new standpoint. As you said not a negative and ultimately could influence future endeavours in a good way

AJG

ecoli wrote: »

In work atm :mad: so can't access the vid will check it out later.

Not having a go at you here either just think it could sub conciously have been a factor. I could imagine if you have a fair bit of attention from women it can become a case of a person thinking (even if it only a fleeting thought at the back of their mind) that "they have to impress me" as oppose to both being on a level playing field in terms of starting out on a date. Still I think that the dates regardless can be a great confidence builder just in terms of social interaction and how comfortable talking to people from a relatively new standpoint. As you said not a negative and ultimately could influence future endeavours in a good way

Oh I wouldn't say it's having to impress me at all. I always went in there to impress them too I guess it's just a thing of mutual physical attraction. You never know regardless of how many profile pictures you see if they'll be as attractive to you in real life (and vice-versa). I mean you'll have a vague idea but it also goes that you'll meet some pretty ones who have very little to say for themselves which is no good either. Like I said I did try to take each person on their own merits and not compare them to any future dates I may have lined up. Because you never know how those will work out either. I was only looking for one keeper

zuroph

timewilltell wrote: »

Date went well!

He was a lovely lad, and we had loads in common, but I think it'll be more of a friendship than anything!

zuroph wrote: »

ugh, friendzoned on a dating site? Lousy.

fat__tony wrote: »

was this the girl you've been going out with for two months?

how did that happen?

id be seriously annoyed if it were me.

timewilltell wrote: »

Was that in response to my post?

You don't even know the full details.

Yeah it was. You're right I don't know the full details, just make sure the guy knows them, because after all he is on a dating site for a reason, wouldnt be right to get his hopes up.

DwightShrute

Sorry if I've missed the discussion of the relative merits of each site, people only seem to use OKC and POF on this thread, but are there generally less messers and more intelligent people on the pay-sites like Match affinity? And JustFriends claims to be Ireland's biggest dating site, is no one here using that?

Larianne

The only thing I know about Match.com was when my friend went on two dates from guys from there, their photos were old. :cool:

Another friend had some success with anotherfriend.com

timewilltell

zuroph wrote: »

Yeah it was. You're right I don't know the full details, just make sure the guy knows them, because after all he is on a dating site for a reason, wouldnt be right to get his hopes up.

It was a mutual decision, we got on very well but there was no spark really. Ah sure, nothing ventured nothing gained!

miec

Hi

I have deleted my profile from POF because it just wasn't working for me, and switched over to connected singles, so far it seems alright, yes a few messers, and one person annoyed at me for not replying to his mail, but he says 48 when his pic looks about 68 and I just don't feel the vibe, but I may have a date soon as one man asked me out today, so fingers crossed it happens.

I did have an odd experience, one man messaged me saying his name, and in the next message after I said hello, he wanted to swap numbers, I ran with this and we talked on the phone and it was just pure strange, he asked very little about me but wanted me to come to his house/area to meet for coffee/ tea, I politely declined and exited myself from the conversation.

Re: the size thing, I put myself as average, I don't have a skinny hot body or a ripped body, but neither am I fat, I am a tall woman and a 14-16 and I often wonder if that is fat in some men's eyes, I would put a few extra pounds to be accurate but some men would interpret that as massively fat so it is hard to know what a man's starting point is in the whole fatness stakes.

miec

Just heard from prospective interested date, he has asked to meet me on Tuesday, I said yes and I have now only just realised that it will be Valentine's day. My toes are tingling, first date in months.

Galwayguy35

Had a date tonight, first one in a few months. We got on great chatting on the phone but when we met in person it was just awkward from the start for some reason and the conversation never really got going. Its a tough struggle this internet dating lark at times....