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The Online Dating Thread Part II **Mod Warning** Read First Post/or Post 7389

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    #3932
    Otis Driftwood
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,925 ✭✭✭Otis Driftwood


    Samich wrote: »
    Have tried sending messages to girls I had no interest in and didn't fancy to try and get some confidence but they reject me to :P

    Thats not very nice (if true) is it?

    Feigning interest just to massage your own ego?


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    #3933
    Ammsy500
    Registered Users Posts: 218 ✭✭Ammsy500


    MrNiceGuyEddie wrote: »

    Post's like this make me actually think that it would be a good idea to have "The Online Dating Thread" separate for both sexes. Okay but that might not sound fair but I'm sick of reading female posters complain about all the messages that they get, try being a guy on one of these sites and you'll have something to really complain about!

    I've been on POF for 1 month, sent around 50 messages (no cut and paste jobs, each message was tailored for each individual) yet I've only gotten around 4 reply's which ran cold within a few days of exchanging messages.

    It's just so frustrating! What is the ratio of men to women on these sites anyway? It seems like they are geared exclusively towards women which is rather pointless if you are a single guy looking to meet someone.

    But isn't it better to see both sides to online dating from both perspectives. In my defence and most females on this yes we may get more messages but that's because men outnumber women on it. And honestly most of the messages are 'hey sxy wanna chat sum time' kind of messages. I would say for every 10 messages I get 1 of them actually has some thought in their message. Even if I'm not interested I'll try to respond to the message even just thanking for noticing something in my profile or whatever it may be.

    And it's not just guys who don't get replies I've sent out plenty of messages and got nada back so it does happen to us too...or maybe just me!


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    #3934
    Samich
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,949 ✭✭✭Samich


    Otis Driftwood wrote: »
    Thats not very nice (if true) is it?

    Feigning interest just to massage your own ego?

    ok.

    These would be at the other end of the country so nothing would come of it anyways?


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    #3935
    Otis Driftwood
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,925 ✭✭✭Otis Driftwood


    Samich wrote: »
    ok.

    These would be at the other end of the country so nothing would come of it anyways?

    Doesnt matter imo.

    If someone did it to you would you like it?

    No,you wouldnt so why do it to others?


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    #3936
    Samich
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,949 ✭✭✭Samich


    Otis Driftwood wrote: »
    Doesnt matter imo.

    If someone did it to you would you like it?

    No,you wouldnt so why do it to others?

    Doesn't really matter seeing as they don't be interested anyways.


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    #3937
    Larianne
    Registered Users Posts: 35,954 ✭✭✭✭Larianne


    Samich wrote: »
    I do send them sometimes, same result, still no reply. Have tried sending messages to girls I had no interest in and didn't fancy to try and get some confidence but they reject me to :P


    If you're doing this, then I think its time to give the online dating a rest.


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    #3938
    KTRIC
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,463 ✭✭✭KTRIC


    Larianne wrote: »
    If you're doing this, then I think its time to give the online dating a rest.

    I have to agree. Its just not right on so many levels and really goes against the whole idea.


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    #3939
    sharper
    Registered Users Posts: 1,216 ✭✭✭sharper


    MrNiceGuyEddie wrote: »
    Post's like this make me actually think that it would be a good idea to have "The Online Dating Thread" separate for both sexes. Okay but that might not sound fair but I'm sick of reading female posters complain about all the messages that they get, try being a guy on one of these sites and you'll have something to really complain about!

    Well firstly I'd say my lack of success is no better or worse than anyone else's. Ultimately if you're not meeting someone that makes you go "Wow!" you're going to be unimpressed, however it manifests itself.

    Plus what you're talking about is the other side of the issue women experience . Women join dating sites, get overwhelmed by mail (*) and then leave out of frustration. Men join dating sites, message lots of women but get few replies and then leave out of frustration.

    (*) though some seem to end up getting no mail for reasons I've never figured out.
    I've been on POF for 1 month, sent around 50 messages (no cut and paste jobs, each message was tailored for each individual) yet I've only gotten around 4 reply's which ran cold within a few days of exchanging messages.

    Someone mentioned earlier getting a reply to 10% of his mails. That's pretty much the average number unless you've got something really exceptional going for you. Just getting to the point where you're talking to anyone is damn hard work and then in most cases it just fizzles out anyway.
    It's just so frustrating! What is the ratio of men to women on these sites anyway? It seems like they are geared exclusively towards women which is rather pointless if you are a single guy looking to meet someone.

    A good ratio is usually 2 men for every woman but it's often a lot more. No I have absolutely no idea where all the single women are either.

    Last time I checked on okcupid it was 2:1 but once I started being more specific for age range and match percentage there were about 8 guys around my age and approximately as compatible with them as me (based on okcupid's matching algorithm).

    Those are really awful odds.


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    #3940
    Samich
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,949 ✭✭✭Samich


    Larianne wrote: »
    If you're doing this, then I think its time to give the online dating a rest.

    I've done it once or twice, but alright.


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    #3941
    Samich
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,949 ✭✭✭Samich


    KTRIC wrote: »
    I have to agree. Its just not right on so many levels and really goes against the whole idea.

    Well I'm looking for friends aswell soooooooooo...who's the say I was messaging them to go out with them?


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    #3942
    stargazer 68
    Registered Users Posts: 5,125 ✭✭✭stargazer 68


    MrNiceGuyEddie wrote: »
    Post's like this make me actually think that it would be a good idea to have "The Online Dating Thread" separate for both sexes. Okay but that might not sound fair but I'm sick of reading female posters complain about all the messages that they get, try being a guy on one of these sites and you'll have something to really complain about!

    Really??? By the time you delete the:

    Hi sexy
    Can I sniff em - yes I did get that one!
    Ur hot
    and so on - you get left with 1 message! I have lost count of the number of message I send out that gets deleted so it happens to everyone. Its just that most women don't send those type of messages!


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    #3943
    mood
    Registered Users Posts: 4,264 ✭✭✭mood


    Discodog wrote: »
    It wasn't me :D...........but my last girlfriend was half my age & I am in my 40's. It is not unheard of & I have been chatted up by lots of girls way younger than me. It might not be for you but it suits others.
    Do you have a note on your profile saying "please do not contact me if your are over ...." ?. Some sites allow you to specify the criteria of who can & cannot message you.

    I has a age bracket specified. Men just don't seem to actually read profiles!


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    #3944
    awec
    Administrators Posts: 53,842 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭awec


    This post has been deleted.


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    #3945
    Otis Driftwood
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,925 ✭✭✭Otis Driftwood


    mood wrote: »
    I has a age bracket specified. Men just don't seem to actually read profiles!

    Are you using PoF Mood?

    Isnt there a feature that you can block people outside of certain age brackets sending you the first mail?


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    #3946
    Galvasean
    Registered Users Posts: 30,746 ✭✭✭✭Galvasean


    Discodog wrote: »
    But in reality relationships aren't about what you have in common.

    This. In fact you can have too much in common which can have drastic knock on effects if things don't work out. The last woman I was seriously involved in shared my love for palaeontology. Things ended badly between us and now one of my favourite things in the whole world brings bitter memories to my mind :(
    Otis Driftwood wrote: »
    Thats not very nice (if true) is it?

    Feigning interest just to massage your own ego?

    It's not nice at all. I'm pretty sure I've had girls do that with me and it's a real pain.


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    #3947
    Discodog
    Registered Users Posts: 15,898 ✭✭✭✭Discodog


    mood wrote: »
    I has a age bracket specified. Men just don't seem to actually read profiles!

    Some sexist men might say that they don't because women say one thing & mean another :D


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    #3948
    stargazer 68
    Registered Users Posts: 5,125 ✭✭✭stargazer 68


    Im not usually online this hour of the night! Seems like the men on POF tonight are weirder than the ones on during the day! :eek:


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    #3949
    finipops
    Closed Accounts Posts: 201 ✭✭finipops


    Dovies wrote: »
    Im not usually online this hour of the night! Seems like the men on POF tonight are weirder than the ones on during the day! :eek:
    How? What makes them different from the others during the day?


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    #3950
    stargazer 68
    Registered Users Posts: 5,125 ✭✭✭stargazer 68


    finipops wrote: »
    How? What makes them different from the others during the day?

    You get normal conversations during the day. Seems at night the 'can I come round for coffee' or 'come over to mine' lines come out and these are from people that I have never spoken to before.


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    #3951
    miec
    Registered Users Posts: 856 ✭✭✭miec


    So you met someone that you liked & that appeared to like you. Why wouldn't you be an eager beaver - I would of been. All you did was to be honest with how you felt & you should carry on doing it. Don't change because of the attitudes of others.

    Thanks for that, I can to the same conclusion. I have also concluded that internet dating is not for me, or at least POF/OKC / connected singles because I am fed up with e-mails that are lewd, the cancelled dates, the general flakiness and pure frustration levels or the odd men that want to be married at the word hello which is pure scary.


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    #3952
    foxinsox
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,080 ✭✭✭foxinsox


    johnr1 wrote: »
    You'd be surprised about some of our ages here, I'm 38 but don't act it, also separated & waiting, and there are a few others who have posted here who are in their 30s and 40s.
    Life stage is as important as age IMO, I'm meeting many women my age who have their children reared and gone, while I've yet to have any.
    Not sorry I did the online thing, but it's best to concentrate effort where the results are.

    It seems that there are quite a few of us hanging around :cool:

    I'm 43 and tyring the online dating thing...and all that it entails ..

    I find it quite funny the amount of messages (Hi sxy) from lads in their early twenties. I often wonder of I did just message them back and say I need them now ..would they chicken out?

    Not that I would :D

    Date next Friday ...


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    #3953
    stargazer 68
    Registered Users Posts: 5,125 ✭✭✭stargazer 68


    foxinsox wrote: »
    I find it quite funny the amount of messages (Hi sxy) from lads in their early twenties. I often wonder of I did just message them back and say I need them now ..would they chicken out?


    Date next Friday ...

    Yeah of course they would! :P:eek:
    Ooh good luck with the date.

    On another note I wonder how many of us have had a date with the same people?? :eek:


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    #3954
    Samich
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,949 ✭✭✭Samich


    Otis Driftwood wrote: »
    Thats not very nice (if true) is it?

    Feigning interest just to massage your own ego?

    Back to this, if you were in my position and looking for friends also and sent a message to a girl, (she wouldn't know straight away if it's friends or something more I'm interested in) and I send a pic and she happens to like me and I say I'm only looking for friends, how is that a bad thing?


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    #3955
    DerekDGoldfish
    Registered Users Posts: 1,122 ✭✭✭DerekDGoldfish


    Dovies wrote: »
    Yeah of course they would! :P:eek:
    Ooh good luck with the date.

    On another note I wonder how many of us have had a date with the same people?? :eek:

    Or each other


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    #3956
    Otis Driftwood
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,925 ✭✭✭Otis Driftwood


    Samich wrote: »
    Back to this, if you were in my position and looking for friends also and sent a message to a girl, (she wouldn't know straight away if it's friends or something more I'm interested in) and I send a pic and she happens to like me and I say I'm only looking for friends, how is that a bad thing?

    Thats not what you said,this is what you said.
    Samich wrote: »
    I do send them sometimes, same result, still no reply. Have tried sending messages to girls I had no interest in and didn't fancy to try and get some confidence but they reject me to :P

    You messaged people you had no interest in and didnt fancy in an attempt to get replies for no other reason but to boost your own ego.


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    #3957
    Captain Havoc
    Moderators, Sports Moderators, Regional South East Moderators Posts: 11,391 Mod ✭✭✭✭Captain Havoc


    DerekDGoldfish wrote: »
    Or each other

    Done that

    https://ormondelanguagetours.com

    Walking Tours of Kilkenny in English, French or German.



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    #3958
    Samich
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,949 ✭✭✭Samich


    Otis Driftwood wrote: »
    Thats not what you said,this is what you said.



    You messaged people you had no interest in and didnt fancy in an attempt to get replies for no other reason but to boost your own ego.

    ok I didn't have any interest in them as more than friends no, but as friends if they were sound I would. Also I don't have an ego.


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    #3959
    GrumPy
    Registered Users Posts: 6,557 ✭✭✭GrumPy


    Date today went well! :) I was working unfortunately, so we just grabbed lunch. Conversation was flowing and chemistry is defo there! Although I'm still a tad shy with her briefly for a second or two sometimes, shes so pretty. :o

    Date 5 planned next, yay!


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    #3960
    Otis Driftwood
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,925 ✭✭✭Otis Driftwood


    Samich wrote: »
    ok I didn't have any interest in them as more than friends no, but as friends if they were sound I would. Also I don't have an ego.

    To me you saying you dont fancy someone means you arent attracted to them.

    Saying you have no interest in someone says to me you have no interest in them in any way at all,friends or otherwise.

    Also,everyone has some level of ego.You said yourself you have tried to get replies from people you had no interest in in order to gain some confidence.That is an ego or an attempt to build one.


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    #3961
    DerekDGoldfish
    Registered Users Posts: 1,122 ✭✭✭DerekDGoldfish


    Captain Havoc wrote: »
    Done that

    After looking at the pics thread I noticed that I have as well.


This discussion has been closed.
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