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The Online Dating Thread Part II **Mod Warning** Read First Post/or Post 7389
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So, I'm a bit of a lurker on this thread, but I'm looking for advice (actually, more like reassurance). I've tried the internet dating thing a few times, met some nice people and ended up going out with one girl for about 6 months.
I gave it a break after that breakup, but I accidentally left a profile up on one of the sites, I got a message out of the blue about 2 months ago from a really nice girl, her profile gave the impression that she was smart and funny, I could see that she was attractive from her pics.
Anyway, had a first date last weekend and it was awesome! She's funnier, smarter and better looking than I imagined, she's the first girl in a really long time that I felt that I had an immediate connection with. I think she liked me too, there was some kissing at the end of the night which she instigated and she is all on for another date this weekend.
Here's the problem, I've realised that I'm a bit insecure! It's not something I've experienced before, but I'm kind of wondering what the catch is or what baggage she's carrying and stressing a bit that I'll mess up next weekend or that she's not that into me after all.
Has anyone else felt like this? How do you deal with it? I don't want to go on the next date with all this stuff floating around in my head as it will probably cause me to be nervous or overbearing.
She likes you, that's obvious, so try put everything else out of your head!
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SOconfusing wrote: »Her view is just one of many I have come across that really just proves to me how unattractive most women will see me.
I don't hold it against women at all mind. I don't blame them at all. The reality is, not everyone meets the requirements for love. Despite what Hollywood keeps pushing.
I do appreciate the positive words from some posters here though.
However,
C'est la vie.
I think you are being too self-negative about this. I know some women want a taller man, but there are others like me who couldn't care less. Personally I don't like to wear shoes with much of a heel so I am not sure if that is part of why they height issue wouldn't bother me.
I think pretty much everyone can potentially meet someone that suits them. I think personality is a lot more important than looks, but unfortunately it can be hard to get personality accross in a profile, and if the person does not have a good picture their profile might not get so many views. That is a major downside of internet dating, but it doesn't mean you won't find someone eventually, even if it is not through internet dating.
Some people as well don't really go for conventially "good looking" guys/women, so just because you think you don't rate high on the looks scale doesn't mean you won't find someone who is into you.0 -
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Ok,
So a few weeks ago I made the big statement "profile coming down and not going up again" here. (OKC)
That came out of absolute frustration with lack of replies, dates where it was obvious that the people had been less than truthful, just general constant rejection.
I had honed and re-honed my profile, changed the pictures, had it reviewed here "it's great", and I've always sent proper messages,- cheeky hook lines included/excluded.
So about that time I was still "chatting" with one girl on the site. I had sent the first message because she showed up as a 96% match which is unusually high, given that we both have answered 300+ questions.
I didn't really expect a response, (she's 27, I'm 38, she has model class pics)
Actually, she wouldn't even have shown up in my search settings as I had them set at 30+.
Anyway, she replied, and we messaged about once a week/fortnight or so for two months. I had written her off as a penfriend seeker actually.
When I decided to take down my profile, I messaged her just to be polite, as we hadn't any other contact details.
So finally, we went on a date Sunday, - this was about the 5th time I'd suggested it, but she's cautious, and was abroad with work etc.
Tapas followed by beers around Temple Bar, as a coffee date would have been lame given how long we'd been chatting online.
Instant sparks, no awkwardness, huge connection -> megadate, incorporating dates 2, 3, 4 & 5.
:D
No further details going online.;)
So we discussed online dating top to bottom, and she gets 30+ emails every single day,:eek::eek: so if she logs on after a few days, it's like spam or boards notifications in your email, she deletes 99% unread, picks maybe 3 to read, based on the first line of the mail, which is visible without opening it.
The lesson in that for us guys is that whatever the "hook" or "original bit" is, - it's got to be in the first line, otherwise it ain't gonna be even seen.
If anyone's interested I'll post a copy of the first mail I sent, minus any references to her profile. If anyone copies it and sends it to her again I'll hunt you down and kill you slowly :pac:
Anyway, - my profile is still coming down, whichever way this ends up. I'm just doing the "I beat 200/1 odds" dance right now:D
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ChannelNo5 wrote: »People without kids have a bloody hard time on it too!!
I remember finding a site specifically for people that didn't want kids. It had loads of members from around the world but none from Ireland 0 -
I'm 5'12 or thereabouts.
So 6' then;);)I remember finding a site specifically for people that didn't want kids. It had loads of members from around the world but none from Ireland
I got another message off the 3 kids guy this morning. Even if I wanted kids, I'd be a bit alarmed by someone who had three by the age of 27!
And I just replied to a guy who's only 5' 9". See, I'm not a complete b*tch.0 -
SOconfusing wrote: »These things really have a way of making a person feel quite worthless.
This line hit home with me as my online dating experience has made me feel like that at times.
In relation to girls getting 30+ messages per day, I just thought I'd mention that that isn't the case for everyone (or maybe I just have a rubbish profile). I got maybe 2-5 messages and these were predominantly of the "hi" "hi how ru" variety with the occasional gushing copy-and-paste "you so pretty like angel" :rolleyes:
Apparently it was Einstein that said insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results so I've deleted my profile. One positive aspect that I can take from the whole online dating experience is that I'm a little less nervous going on dates. I can honestly say that walking to the coffee shop to meet my first online date was an incredibly nervewracking experience, which may sound ridiculously hyperbolic but it's true. I actually ducked into a pub toilet on the way and spent a few minutes wondering how I was going to continue
I'm sure I'll continue to read; some of the stories on this thread are priceless!0 -
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I remember finding a site specifically for people that didn't want kids. It had loads of members from around the world but none from Ireland
And that's another story! I had an online bust up with a chap on POF when i said i wasn't really interested, thanks and good luck. After being pushed repeatedly i finally said i wasn't interested in coming a poor fifth after his kids and obsessive love of GAA! Eh sorry mate it's a dating site and i don't want to be told you'll fit me in around your kids whan you can before i've even replied to your mail. Nothing against chaps with kids but i don't have to instantly love them as if they are my own! I felt like the frickin child catcher form chitty chitty bang bang
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ChannelNo5 wrote: »i'm only gawgeous!!!!:p
Tempted to say prove it
Maybe it's the thought of being dragged to England ever year to listen to the Dinosaurs of Bad Rock that's putting them off - more of an Electric Picnic man myself 0 -
ChannelNo5 wrote: »I third that! I never got anything even close to that and i'm only gawgeous!!!!:pTempted to say prove it
I can vouch for her gawgeousness!! 0 -
Tempted to say prove it
Maybe it's the thought of being dragged to England ever year to listen to the Dinosaurs of Bad Rock that's putting them off - more of an Electric Picnic man myself
Trust me! I'm a roide!:p
How very dare you!! They should be willing to follow me anywhere!!
Thinking of going to EP this year actually. Can't miss the cure! I loves them. Very eclectic taste in music me.0 -
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ChannelNo5 wrote: »Trust me! I'm a roide!:p
How very dare you!! They should be willing to follow me anywhere!!
Thinking of going to EP this year actually. Can't miss the cure! I loves them. Very eclectic taste in music me.
I have a big tent that divides into three rooms so we could invite Dovies as well 0 -
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Hang on now - don't be too hasty!! 3 rooms - one each - naturally we would have to go and find someone to share them with - must be some 25 year olds that go to these things! :eek::D
Good point well made Dovies! Deal me in!!
ChannelNo5 wrote: »We're not THAT kind of girls!! :P
Scratch that..... Turns out we ARE that kind of girls!:eek: 0 -
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ChannelNo5 wrote: »However if you are under 25 don't send us pics of your excited lad ....:D
My excited lad - always wagging his tail
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