The Online Dating Thread Part II **Mod Warning** Read First Post/or Post 7389

The Big Red Button

Samich wrote: »

So the girl from last week who never is online and gave me good signs and said she would send a pic next time she's online, well she's online and hasn't replied so presume she doesn't wanna chat. AAhhhhhhhh.

Could just be that she's online on her phone and can't post pics from it.

ChannelNo5

SOconfusing wrote: »

I know a lot on here really like POF and I've tried that too but I find it a bit too much like the Geordie shore of online dating

That's a pretty fair assessment of POF I'd say!:D With little pockets of sanity (ie us lot!) Thrown in;)

stargazer 68

Well Im supposed to have a date tomorrow night but not holding my breath. We have been out for coffee a few times but everytime I suggest a night time he disappears! Screams married etc but I know hes not!! I suggested sat night date after our last coffee and he said yes and lo and behold havent heard from him since and he hasnt replied to my text.

So sod him - Im getting a bottle of wine and a dvd and sitting in with the cat!! Even my bloody son is going clubbing and hes 13! (I was out Friday, Sat and Sun last weekend so a weekend in will do me good)

ChannelNo5

Dovies wrote: »

Well Im supposed to have a date tomorrow night but not holding my breath. We have been out for coffee a few times but everytime I suggest a night time he disappears! Screams married etc but I know hes not!! I suggested sat night date after our last coffee and he said yes and lo and behold havent heard from him since and he hasnt replied to my text.

So sod him - Im getting a bottle of wine and a dvd and sitting in with the cat!! Even my bloody son is going clubbing and hes 13! (I was out Friday, Sat and Sun last weekend so a weekend in will do me good)

That sounds odd alright but he may end up just texting you tomorrow to make arrangements. Its happened to me before but it is frustrating. By the time the guy had contacted me i'd copped the hump and made other arrangements. He saw no problem with texting me two hours before we were supposed to meet having had no contact whatsoever in the week before. Maybe it's a man thing?... Lads?....:)

KTRIC

ChannelNo5 wrote: »

Maybe it's a man thing?... Lads?....:)

Nope, thats a "i don't have anything else to do" thing. Any man worth his salt wouldn't carry on like that. Doesn't exactly make the lady feel wanted.

stargazer 68

KTRIC wrote: »

Nope, thats a "i don't have anything else to do" thing. Any man worth his salt wouldn't carry on like that. Doesn't exactly make the lady feel wanted.

No it doesn't. But the problem is you want to say feck off when it happens (and sometimes do) but then you are kind of cutting your nose off to spite your face as you end up sitting in watching tubs or brendan!!

G-Money

Well I sent a few more mails on POF last weekend and again, was blanked. I saw one girl had viewed my profile without me mailing her but she hadn't mailed me either. I thought "F**k it" and mailed her and she replied and after a few mails and a chat on the chat thingy, we swapped numbers. We've been texting a bit and chatted on the phone but I'm not sure either of us are interested. Well I don't know how interested I am and I guess I'm assuming she is thinking the same. The only time she text's is when I initate it which I guess doesn't always scream "interest". I don't think either of us are that bothered tbh.

Earlier in the week a girl emailed me off the bat from OKCupid. I saw her username and it sounded really interesting, but then I checked her profile and saw her pic and I have to admit, I'm completely uninterested. I sent her a polite reply rather than ignoring her, but just responded to a few of the things she asked and didn't ask any questions of my own.

I reckon I might give it another day or two then I'm axing both profiles for good, or at least for about 6 months, if not longer. It just doesn't seem to be working for me this time. But the alternative has been even less successful up until this point so it doesn't bode well

I guess I could do a few more activities and things and get out a bit more, but I've no idea what to do if I met some girl I fancied at them. Ask them out straight away? Wait a bit and then ask? What if they say no, does that mean I can't ask anyone else in that group ever?

<insert head being done-in smiley>

Dravokivich

G-Money wrote: »

Well I sent a few more mails on POF last weekend and again, was blanked. I saw one girl had viewed my profile without me mailing her but she hadn't mailed me either. I thought "F**k it" and mailed her and she replied and after a few mails and a chat on the chat thingy, we swapped numbers. We've been texting a bit and chatted on the phone but I'm not sure either of us are interested. Well I don't know how interested I am and I guess I'm assuming she is thinking the same. The only time she text's is when I initate it which I guess doesn't always scream "interest". I don't think either of us are that bothered tbh.

No harm in asking her out though is there? Just to try it out at least the once.

hollypink

G-Money wrote: »

Well I sent a few more mails on POF last weekend and again, was blanked. I saw one girl had viewed my profile without me mailing her but she hadn't mailed me either. I thought "F**k it" and mailed her and she replied and after a few mails and a chat on the chat thingy, we swapped numbers. We've been texting a bit and chatted on the phone but I'm not sure either of us are interested. Well I don't know how interested I am and I guess I'm assuming she is thinking the same. The only time she text's is when I initate it which I guess doesn't always scream "interest". I don't think either of us are that bothered tbh.

She might just not be big into texting, expecially someone she hasn't met yet. I'd be like that myself. I agree with Drav that it can't hurt to meet up. Trying to read into texts and messages to establish if soneone you don't know is interested isn't necessarily going to be accurate. Surely exchanging phone numbers is something of an expression of interest?

Discodog

ChannelNo5 wrote: »

That sounds odd alright but he may end up just texting you tomorrow to make arrangements. Its happened to me before but it is frustrating. By the time the guy had contacted me i'd copped the hump and made other arrangements. He saw no problem with texting me two hours before we were supposed to meet having had no contact whatsoever in the week before. Maybe it's a man thing?... Lads?....:)

It's called keeping your options open. It's a bit like how busy tradesmen wouldn't turn up if a better job had come along in the meantime. It can also be part of the "game" to keep her guessing & lead her along.

My approach can scare the hell out of women but I will invite any prospective date to phone me whenever she likes because I am not hiding a wife or girlfriend. Also it is much harder to lie on the phone.

Dovies wrote: »

but then you are kind of cutting your nose off to spite your face as you end up sitting in watching tubs or brendan!!

Way better than investing time in a loser.

All these stories have a moral - if you find someone who is nice then compromise & make the effort.

stargazer 68

Discodog wrote: »

All these stories have a moral - if you find someone who is nice then compromise & make the effort.

And Im only masso so he clearly has no morals!
Right wine and Liam Neeson it is for me!

Discodog

SOconfusing wrote: »

Anyone have any other suggestions? I know a lot on here really like POF and I've tried that too but I find it a bit too much like the Geordie shore of online dating

God knows why but in a insane moment I spent some time answering loads of questions on the eHarmony site. It kept telling me how it was building up a picture of my personality etc. Finally I was finished & I eagerly read my profile - only to find that it is nothing like me :mad:.

Not only did I waste all that time but the "matches" they send me are totally wrong.

Discodog

Dovies wrote: »

And Im only masso so he clearly has no morals!
Right wine and Liam Neeson it is for me!

People can mislead. Here's me thinking that you are a woman looking for a date & turns out that you are an African town according to Google :eek:

Masso is a town in the Solenzo Department of Banwa Province in western Burkina Faso

G-Money

Discodog wrote: »

God knows why but in a insane moment I spent some time answering loads of questions on the eHarmony site. It kept telling me how it was building up a picture of my personality etc. Finally I was finished & I eagerly read my profile - only to find that it is nothing like me :mad:.

Not only did I waste all that time but the "matches" they send me are totally wrong.

I gave that a go, spent longer answering questions on that site than I did when I did my GCSE's. Then it basically told me at the end "We have no compatible matches for you". That was just lovely.

I guess I'm just too much of an individual :cool:

Wink

G-Money wrote: »

Well I sent a few more mails on POF last weekend and again, was blanked. I saw one girl had viewed my profile without me mailing her but she hadn't mailed me either. I thought "F**k it" and mailed her and she replied and after a few mails and a chat on the chat thingy, we swapped numbers. We've been texting a bit and chatted on the phone but I'm not sure either of us are interested. Well I don't know how interested I am and I guess I'm assuming she is thinking the same. The only time she text's is when I initate it which I guess doesn't always scream "interest". I don't think either of us are that bothered tbh.

<insert head being done-in smiley>

Hey all, I'm a long time lurker in this thread & have loved reading all of your stories. This post struck a chord with me, G Money, because I was in a similar situation. Very briefly, I was messaging a guy over about a month, it was over Christmas so things were moving pretty slowly. I wasn't massively interested in his emails, he came across as pretty serious & I didn't think we had much in common. Over the time we were messaging I went on a few dates with other guys, with one in particular who I thought had potential which ended up fizzling out after three dates. I think I went on dates with about 10 different guys, most of which were pleasant but didn't go anywhere.

Long story short, I met up with Mr. Serious in the middle of January. He turned out to be nothing of the sort. I didn't really think that chemistry existed in any sort of real way and, even if it did, I thought that it could grow. Anyway, as soon as I saw him my tummy flipped, he was (is!) so much cuter than his photos, funny, smart & great craic. First date led to a second & a third. We've been seeing each other for two months now & I'm hoping that he's going to be around for a long time.

Moral of the story? Books & their covers shouldn't be judged til you actually go on a date! Hope it works out for you

The Big Red Button

Totally agree with the post above.

You just can't judge someone by how they come across in text!

You should definitely ask her out on a date - even if there's no spark, she could end up becoming a friend of yours. And even if it's a disaster and ye don't get on at all - so what? It's all good experience.

You've nothing to lose by meeting her.

Samich

chatterpillar wrote: »

Could just be that she's online on her phone and can't post pics from it.

She hasn't replied to my message and has been online. Annoying.

VinLieger

/start cynical fed up rant

Well the past few weeks have left me pretty cynical about online dating, specifically pof.
Ive messaged alot of women in the last few months and have received no replies. OK im not Brad Pitt but I wouldnt classify myself as butt ugly either but from what i can tell nearly every woman on there is looking to meet the absolutely most attractive guy they can with no regard for personality.
Every message i send is different and relates to the specific girls profile, i add in a bit of witt and not too much cheesy charm yet i still receive nothing.
Im funny, nice, polite and respectful in every message i make. This is everything this forum, several other online advice threads and society in general has said i need to be to attract women yet still im striking out.

Im slowly coming to the conclusion that when it comes to online dating women are in no doubt the shallower sex as they are the gate keepers in this realm, even more so than in real life, and it consistantly seems that they are always on the look out to upgrade if possible.

/cynical rant over

Please id love to know what people think

Also by the way ive changed the heading in my pof profile to reflect my views, im curious to see if it gets any repsonses.

JONJO THE MISER

Have you tried POF outside of Ireland i.e the states, Irish women are by far the pickiest women i have met in my life out of any country.

JimBob777

VinLieger wrote: »

/start cynical fed up rant

Well the past few weeks have left me pretty cynical about online dating, specifically pof.
Ive messaged alot of women in the last few months and have received no replies. OK im not Brad Pitt but I wouldnt classify myself as butt ugly either but from what i can tell nearly every woman on there is looking to meet the absolutely most attractive guy they can with no regard for personality.
Every message i send is different and relates to the specific girls profile, i add in a bit of witt and not too much cheesy charm yet i still receive nothing.
Im funny, nice, polite and respectful in every message i make. This is everything this forum, several other online advice threads and society in general has said i need to be to attract women yet still im striking out.

Im slowly coming to the conclusion that when it comes to online dating women are in no doubt the shallower sex as they are the gate keepers in this realm, even more so than in real life, and it consistantly seems that they are always on the look out to upgrade if possible.

/cynical rant over

Please id love to know what people think

Also by the way ive changed the heading in my pof profile to reflect my views, im curious to see if it gets any repsonses.

i said something similar on here and got bashed for it,maybe i didnt say it the best way though, pof is strange,very hard to get a reply,
i noticed that on OKCupid iv sent about 13 messages in total with about 8 replys, pof iv sent about 25 with about 2 replies, makes no sense to me, seems like their waiting for something better to come along or my profile needs work on that particular site, its not the pictures though i used the same for both sites ha
i,ve been on both sites for over a week and the reason iv sent so little is because i put effort into each sent message, maybe their too long on Pof? normally bout 8- 10 lines?

stargazer 68

VinLieger wrote: »

/start cynical fed up rant

Ive messaged alot of women in the last few months and have received no replies. OK im not Brad Pitt but I wouldnt classify myself as butt ugly either but from what i can tell nearly every woman on there is looking to meet the absolutely most attractive guy they can with no regard for personality.

JONJO THE MISER wrote: »

Have you tried POF outside of Ireland i.e the states, Irish women are by far the pickiest women i have met in my life out of any country.

Guys we all send out messages and get no replies - its just what happens. I have had one guy tell me Im simply not attractive enough for him to date!! So I suggest you stop making such sweeping statements and read the comments on here from both men and women who have been rejected!! Negative attitudes like that get you nowhere

Discodog

Dovies wrote: »

Guys we all send out messages and get no replies - its just what happens. I have had one guy tell me Im simply not attractive enough for him to date!! So I suggest you stop making such sweeping statements and read the comments on here from both men and women who have been rejected!! Negative attitudes like that get you nowhere

I think that whilst they may seem like sweeping statement they are the experiences of thousands of men on dating sites. Women do get rejected but it is nothing like the same scale as with men. Internet dating empowers women & reverses the old idea that a girl had to wait for a man to approach her. We can't blame the women for grasping the opportunity & we would be just as picky if we were offered the same choice.

icescreamqueen

Decided to dip my toe into the world of online dating. I wanted to try find some nice guys from where I'm from. I saw a profile of a guy and he sounded nice from his profile and he has a nice dog! I sent him a message and it turns out we're both from the same area and went to the same school but he's based in Dublin, like myself. We were messaging for a few hours on Thursday. We were getting on well and he suggested meeting up in town but we hadn't decided on the when. I sent the last message but he hasn't replied since Thursday but has been online. Should I take it, he's lost interest?

VinLieger

Ahhh **** did i write that? Really need to get a breathalizer installed on my pc

JimBob777

VinLieger wrote: »

Ahhh **** did i write that? Really need to get a breathalizer installed on my pc

hah, it wasnt that bad, most people have the same problem

Discodog

icescreamqueen wrote: »

Decided to dip my toe into the world of online dating. I wanted to try find some nice guys from where I'm from. I saw a profile of a guy and he sounded nice from his profile and he has a nice dog! I sent him a message and it turns out we're both from the same area and went to the same school but he's based in Dublin, like myself. We were messaging for a few hours on Thursday. We were getting on well and he suggested meeting up in town but we hadn't decided on the when. I sent the last message but he hasn't replied since Thursday but has been online. Should I take it, he's lost interest?

Speaking as the owner of three nice dogs you can't assume anything when it comes to online dating. He may of lost interest, he may of becomes interested elsewhere, he could be married & his wife has found out or he could be genuine.

Whilst there are some people who are looking for a genuine relationship there are plenty of others who aren't. So if you are genuine it is understandable that you might get excited about a possible match. It's a natural human reaction. But, if you are relying on email or text, you have so little to go on when assessing the person.

The sad part is that open, honest people who are seeking relationships can easily become a bit jaundiced at the all the apparent game playing. You can easily end up treating people badly because of the way that they treated you.

You may now be left to wonder whether it was something that you did wrong when in reality it was probably just that he changed his mind. I will be saying this for ever but you will find out more in a 10 min phone conversation that you will in 100 messages.

Don't let it put you off .

G-Money

JimBob777 wrote: »

seems like their waiting for something better to come along

That's the impression I get from POF when I see a girl's status as "Looking to date but nothing serious". I'm not looking to run off and get married tomorrow or rush into anything, but when I read that I get the impression the person just wants something super casual so they can dispose of you as soon as someone they think is better, comes along.

Semele

I have a first date tonight with a guy who seems really sweet. He's a couple of years younger than me but doesn't come across as it in messages at all, so hopefully won't in person either! He's meeting me instead of going to his friend's birthday so seems keen enough.

I think he's driving though, so means he won't be drinking...I don't know how I feel about that tbh- I'm not a mad lush or anything but I do feel the conversation always relaxes a bit after a glass of wine! On the other had, I have a 5am start in the morning for a 14hr shift, so prob best if i remain sober!

Discodog

Semele wrote: »

I'm not a mad lush or anything but I do feel the conversation always relaxes a bit after a glass of wine! On the other had, I have a 5am start in the morning for a 14hr shift, so prob best if i remain sober!

Nothing to stop you having a drink

Galvasean

VinLieger wrote: »

Ahhh **** did i write that? Really need to get a breathalizer installed on my pc

Ah we all get like that from time to time. Sometimes it's healthy to vent.
I go through phases of feeling just like that, heck my last 3 dates fell through.
Have one lined up for tomorrow. Have a good feeling that this one will go ahead.
As an aside, the girl that stood me up a couple of weeks ago is still moping around POF. I hope she is lonely and miserable :P