The Online Dating Thread Part II **Mod Warning** Read First Post/or Post 7389

Samich

Dolly Daydreams wrote: »

She could be keeping her cards close to her chest.. Maybe she's had undying love declared after one date and wants to see how the date goes? Have you 'looking for a relationship' on yours?

She's a newbie :P And yes I do, not interested it seems

G-Money

Nothing happening here still. I axed my POF profile a few days ago and re-jigged my OKC profile earlier. I've mailed a few girls on OKC, one was just sending me curteousy replies which weren't going anywhere. Another girl sent one reply and sounded half interested, I responded and silence was her reply.

Been blanked by the rest.

Encountered yet another, "oh, I don't think I'm ready to meet anyone" person. Seriously, if that's the case, don't go on a dating site.

G-Money

Deleted User wrote: »

Encountered yet another, "oh, I don't think I'm ready to meet anyone" person. Seriously, if that's the case, don't go on a dating site.

Ah now, that's a bit harsh. How else was she supposed to boost her ego?? :rolleyes:

Dolly Daydreams

Starokan wrote: »

Hey who knows it could be case off he is really up the walls with work, i think you should tell him you would like to meet earlier than April to see how you both get on, suggest a day time meeting just for coffee or something. Is there much of a distance between you both.

Yes, you're right, we got a bit 'fruity' though so maybe I made myself my own worst enemy and turning it sexual :cool:

Samich wrote: »

She's a newbie :P And yes I do, not interested it seems

Brush it off so eh?

G-Money wrote: »

Nothing happening here still. I axed my POF profile a few days ago and re-jigged my OKC profile earlier. I've mailed a few girls on OKC, one was just sending me curteousy replies which weren't going anywhere. Another girl sent one reply and sounded half interested, I responded and silence was her reply.

Been blanked by the rest.

Deleted User wrote: »

Encountered yet another, "oh, I don't think I'm ready to meet anyone" person. Seriously, if that's the case, don't go on a dating site.

I don't get that at all? why do they bother, to get an ego boost?

G-Money wrote: »

Ah now, that's a bit harsh. How else was she supposed to boost her ego?? :rolleyes:

ermm you got to it first

stargazer 68

Samich wrote: »

Any chance the pics were fake and someone reported him and account got deleted?

Could be but Im sure he would have used a better looking blokes pics!

Had a couple of emails from someone yesterday - general chit chat. Then he said his business has folded but I was not to feel sorry for him (clearly doesn't know me! :rolleyes:) as he was starting it up again. Asked if I was happy with my life. So I said yeah I guess so. Then I got 'that just sounds content not happy' and he went on and on. Seriously I don't need anyone analysing me!! :rolleyes:

Honey-ec

Have a date tomorrow Been chatting to this guy for about two weeks and he seems really nice, so fingers crossed!

On the other side of the coin, I got a message off another guy I'd been chatting to last night. When I hadn't responded within 15 minutes, he sent me another really nasty one. Dog's abuse, I got! So, welcome to Blocksville, dude!

KTRIC

Dovies wrote: »

Could be but Im sure he would have used a better looking blokes pics!

Had a couple of emails from someone yesterday - general chit chat. Then he said his business has folded but I was not to feel sorry for him (clearly doesn't know me! :rolleyes:) as he was starting it up again. Asked if I was happy with my life. So I said yeah I guess so. Then I got 'that just sounds content not happy' and he went on and on. Seriously I don't need anyone analysing me!! :rolleyes:

That would be a biiiiiigggggg turn off for me. Can't stand people analysing me, even if they think they know me. I've called it a day on a couple of relationships started through online dating because of it.

That_Guy

Honey-ec wrote: »

On the other side of the coin, I got a message off another guy I'd been chatting to last night. When I hadn't responded within 15 minutes, he sent me another really nasty one. Dog's abuse, I got! So, welcome to Blocksville, dude!

What is the point in that? Seriously? Some people have issues.

I treat POF/OKC the way I do a text message. If I'm sent a text message I'm assuming it's not that important and that I can reply back at my leisure.

A phone call on the other hand must be quite important if it requires my immediate attention.

In other words... Tell him to fack off.

KyussBishop

Fewcifur wrote: »

Hah, found this profile and had to share:

I lik to go out wit my friends hav a laugh, hav a little boy , so lik to spend my time wit him, lik to go d gym nd also lik shopping.lik all sorts of music ,lik to go on holidays nd luv to spend time wit d girls nd Jst hav a laugh!!

My god.

Heh, the style of writing and spelling makes me think of the opening credits of Monty Python and the Holy Grail:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6674ozx16D0

Defiler Of The Coffin

Very rare but a stark reminder that there certainly are some psychos out there.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/relationships/online-dating/9153332/Online-dating-warning-after-woman-raped-and-beaten.html

Online dating warning after woman raped and beaten

Police have issued a stark warning to internet daters, after a woman was viciously beaten and raped by a man she met online.

The 27-year-old was left “unrecognisable” after the attack, which happened just four days after she began speaking to Peter Ramsey, 26, on plentyoffish.com.

The pair went on a first date but, after she declined to kiss him, he knocked her to the ground, ripped off her tights and raped her.

Inner London Crown Court heard Ramsey caused 21 different injuries, knocking out her front teeth and leaving her fearing she would die.

He has been found guilty of rape, wounding with intent to cause grievous bodily harm and theft following the attack, on August 27 last year.

The officer in charge of investigating the case, DC Richard Huggins, has now warned other internet daters to be cautious, and “thoroughly vet” the people they intend to meet.

He said: “He [Ramsey] posed a severe risk to other women on that internet site, which he had been using for a number of years.”

The woman, who cannot be named for legal reasons, told the court she met Ramsey on plentyoffish.com, which claims to be “responsible for more dates and more relationships than any other dating site”.

She said: “'He seemed like a nice guy. The date was going very well. I thought we had a lot in common.”

The pair met for drinks at 7pm in Brixton, south London, and went for dinner before hailing a cab to the woman’s flat in Clapham Common.
But when she pulled back from a kiss at the front door, she said, he “switched”.

The court heard Ramsey pinned her against the wall in the communal entrance hall, punching her repeatedly in the face until she slumped to the ground.

When she tried to scream for help, he put his hand over her mouth and pinched her nose shut, while continuing to hit her with the other fist.

Leaving her bleeding, he stole her handbag and used her Oyster travelcard to board a nightbus and escape.

She said: “I thought I was going to die.”

Once Ramsey had left, she managed to call for help and was discovered by a member of the public.

Her own mother, who heard the screams, came out of her home moments later to find her disfigured daughter.

The next day, Ramsey attempted to call the woman and left two voicemail messages telling her he was sorry, he had sobered up and felt something had happened that “wasn't good”.

He was arrested a week later thanks to a DNA match and CCTV footage showing him on a bus near the scene.

Initially he told police the sex had been consensual and that he had witnessed her arguing with another man who had beaten her.

During the trial, he told jurors had been out with “hundreds of women” and did not need to rape because he could “get anyone he wanted”.

He was found unanimously guilty following a trial and is now awaiting sentence on April 27.

Judge Patricia Lees told him: “It seems to me the violence meted out was frankly horrific and wholly unnecessary to commit the offence of rape.

“You face an extremely lengthy sentence of imprisonment.”

Following the trial, DC Richard Huggins said: “I feel relieved that somebody like Ramsey who had access via the internet to so many women, is now safely behind bars.

“This woman was unrecognisable after the attack, compared to the woman who gave evidence.

“'I have been in the police for 14 years and these were some of the most shocking facial injuries I have ever seen.”

KyussBishop

Christ awful stuff; rare indeed, but still a serious reminder to be careful.

That_Guy

That's a fairly disturbing article.

The bit that made me angry though was this:

The next day, Ramsey attempted to call the woman and left two voicemail messages telling her he was sorry, he had sobered up and felt something had happened that “wasn't good”.

What a dick.

Defiler Of The Coffin

That_Guy wrote: »

That's a fairly disturbing article.

The bit that made me angry though was this:



What a dick.

Indeed.

If the crime wasn't so serious I nearly would have laughed at this bit:

During the trial, he told jurors had been out with “hundreds of women” and did not need to rape because he could “get anyone he wanted”.

Absolute scum, should be hung from a tree.

Semele

I had a lovely date on Sunday! It reminded me of how fun dating can be when you actually meet someone you get on well with- there were no uncomfortable silences, it never felt like I was having to make an effort... There was kissing too:D I think we're going to meet again but despite a text or two yesterday there hasn't been any mention of it. I'll suggest it myself if he doesn't today though. We both ended up being quite drunk and I think both a little embarassed about it now. It was only because we didn't want the evening to end that we kept getting "just one more" drink in...

With delicious irony, considering my last post on here, we ended up breaking into* a park!

*In a climbing the fence rather than actual vandalism sense, I hasten to add.

Mental Mickey

Not a sausage.

hollypink

Defiler Of The Coffin wrote: »

Very rare but a stark reminder that there certainly are some psychos out there.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/relationships/online-dating/9153332/Online-dating-warning-after-woman-raped-and-beaten.html

That's horrifying, poor woman. I'm not sure why the focus on online dating though; I mean, couldn't that happen if you met someone in a pub and went on a date? And as for this advice:

The officer in charge of investigating the case, DC Richard Huggins, has now warned other internet daters to be cautious, and “thoroughly vet” the people they intend to meet.

how do you "thoroughly vet" somebody when you're going on a date?

Dolly Daydreams

Honey-ec wrote: »

Have a date tomorrow Been chatting to this guy for about two weeks and he seems really nice, so fingers crossed!

ooohhhh can't wait to hear all about it

Defiler Of The Coffin

hollypink wrote: »

That's horrifying, poor woman. I'm not sure why the focus on online dating though; I mean, couldn't that happen if you met someone in a pub and went on a date?

That's true, but I'm sure he was just reminding people to be safe in general.

hollypink wrote: »

how do you "thoroughly vet" somebody when you're going on a date?

Good question! I would say if you have a gut feeling that something isn't right then don't go ahead with it but it did seem the girl in the article enjoyed the actual date up to the attack. You couldn't be properly vetting every single potential date, not unless you were loaded, and then you probably wouldn't need a dating site anyway!

I didn't mean to derail the thread with that article, I've recently signed up to a dating site but it turns out I mightn't even need it at all! Don't want to jinx things!

roro_utd

What do people generally find are the best websites for online dating? I'm on one called tagged but it's full of weirdos (I'm in my early twenties)

stupidusername

Maybe we could do a FAQ thing and stick it in the first post

Dolly Daydreams

stupidusername wrote: »

Maybe we could do a FAQ thing and stick it in the first post

that could get sticky, so many areas to cover :pac:

GrumPy

All about the honesty apparently folks :pac:

Everyone's a winner!

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xo797x_upstairs_fun

miec

All about the honesty apparently folks

Everyone's a winner!

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xo797x_upstairs_fun

Class

stargazer 68

hollypink wrote: »

how do you "thoroughly vet" somebody when you're going on a date?

A lot of common sense is called for not that Im saying she didn't take any precautions but you can't vet your dates thoroughly whether you meet online or in a pub. If you read the forums on POF the amount of women who have their dates pick them up at their homes on the first date is astounding! :eek:

hairyprincess

Some advice please!

Six/seven months ago I met a great guy online. We had a few lovely dates. But he was very, very shy and it was me who made the move to kiss him on the third date. Down the line he told me he wouldn't have made the first move, but he was surprised at my being so forward. I should also mention that I was his second girlfriend ever. He had previously gone out with a girl for four months. (We are both in our early 30's by the way.)

Things went really well, we got on brilliantly. Until seen weeks in he ended it, very suddenly. He gave a reason that we didn't have enough in common. When I pressed him on this, he said my having kids was an issue. Then he gave the excuse that distance was a problem (it wasn't), and that I was settled in my life. It seemed like he was just giving excuses, I felt that he was running scared. Although I don't doubt that my having kids could have been an issue for him.

We are still in regular contact, through Facebook and texting. I have asked him for help with college assignments which he seems more than happy to do, taking an interest in my results and so on.

My question is, is he interested in a future with me? Or is he just being polite? I'm reluctant to make any more moves but I can't see him doing anything either.
(I'm pretty certain he hasn't dated anyone since)

Larianne

Dovies wrote: »

A lot of common sense is called for not that Im saying she didn't take any precautions but you can't vet your dates thoroughly whether you meet online or in a pub. If you read the forums on POF the amount of women who have their dates pick them up at their homes on the first date is astounding! :eek:

For a while I made sure I picked the locations of every date and made sure each pub had two exits. No lie.

And always tell someone where you are going on the date and have them check on you.

I definitely think you should be careful on these dates.

hairyprincess wrote: »

Some advice please!

Six/seven months ago I met a great guy online. We had a few lovely dates. But he was very, very shy and it was me who made the move to kiss him on the third date. Down the line he told me he wouldn't have made the first move, but he was surprised at my being so forward. I should also mention that I was his second girlfriend ever. He had previously gone out with a girl for four months. (We are both in our early 30's by the way.)

Things went really well, we got on brilliantly. Until seen weeks in he ended it, very suddenly. He gave a reason that we didn't have enough in common. When I pressed him on this, he said my having kids was an issue. Then he gave the excuse that distance was a problem (it wasn't), and that I was settled in my life. It seemed like he was just giving excuses, I felt that he was running scared. Although I don't doubt that my having kids could have been an issue for him.

We are still in regular contact, through Facebook and texting. I have asked him for help with college assignments which he seems more than happy to do, taking an interest in my results and so on.

My question is, is he interested in a future with me? Or is he just being polite? I'm reluctant to make any more moves but I can't see him doing anything either.
(I'm pretty certain he hasn't dated anyone since)

Well I don't think so, I think he gave you the reason. I'd leave him be. He's probably too nice to tell you to feck off. :cool:

Manach

Larianne wrote: »

For a while I made sure I picked the locations of every date and made sure each pub had two exits. No lie.

I definitely think you should be careful on these dates.

Perhaps order fish, if necessary find a "bone" and retreat in good order to the nearest exit
(after paying for the meal of course)

G-Money

hairyprincess wrote: »

Some advice please!

Six/seven months ago I met a great guy online. We had a few lovely dates. But he was very, very shy and it was me who made the move to kiss him on the third date. Down the line he told me he wouldn't have made the first move, but he was surprised at my being so forward. I should also mention that I was his second girlfriend ever. He had previously gone out with a girl for four months. (We are both in our early 30's by the way.)

Things went really well, we got on brilliantly. Until seen weeks in he ended it, very suddenly. He gave a reason that we didn't have enough in common. When I pressed him on this, he said my having kids was an issue. Then he gave the excuse that distance was a problem (it wasn't), and that I was settled in my life. It seemed like he was just giving excuses, I felt that he was running scared. Although I don't doubt that my having kids could have been an issue for him.

We are still in regular contact, through Facebook and texting. I have asked him for help with college assignments which he seems more than happy to do, taking an interest in my results and so on.

My question is, is he interested in a future with me? Or is he just being polite? I'm reluctant to make any more moves but I can't see him doing anything either.
(I'm pretty certain he hasn't dated anyone since)

My guess is that he's just being polite but is no longer interested for whatever reason, sorry. At least he ended properly rather than letting it drag on or by cheating on you or something.

It's possible he was unsure about how he felt about things but liked you and wanted to give it a chance to see where it went, but then realised it wasn't working, at least for him.

It's a shame when things don't work out with someone you like, but then again, you weren't together years or anything so I wouldn't spend too much time analysing and analysing things. I think you're just going to have to let it go and move on.

sharper

hairyprincess wrote: »

My question is, is he interested in a future with me? Or is he just being polite? I'm reluctant to make any more moves but I can't see him doing anything either.
(I'm pretty certain he hasn't dated anyone since)

At this point he might well be quite scared of commitment and getting into a relationship. He likely feels as though you have it all figured since you have kids etc.

Of course you can't drag him into a relationship kicking and screaming, you deserve someone that wants to be with you and is willing to work through their issues to do so. I'd suggest telling him what you've said here (if you haven't already) which is that you like him, you're interested in being in a relationship with him but you're not going to make any more moves at this point so it's upto him.