The Online Dating Thread Part II **Mod Warning** Read First Post/or Post 7389

LoTwan

KamiKazeKitten wrote: »

POF is turning me into such a grammar nazi. :pac:

Half the profiles make my eyes bleed. Seriously, would the odd punctuation mark kill them? And let's not get started on the use of the space & return keys!

KamiKazeKitten

LoTwan wrote: »

Half the profiles make my eyes bleed. Seriously, would the odd punctuation mark kill them? And let's not get started on the use of the space & return keys!

Oh definitely!

And those people who got their caps lock button stuck, I honestly can't read those profiles. Stop shouting at me!

Owen

Spotted a girl at my band's gig on Sat who I recognised off POF, and she was just as cute as she was online, more so in fact. Sent her a message on POF after the gig as she'd gone to the club before I got a chance to say anything saying 'I hope this isn't stalkerish, but were you just in the crowd at my band's gig in xxx? Think I recognised you from here - if that was you, you're very very cute ' - and got stonewalled.

Do people really freak out if they're recognised offline? Sheesh! Pity, as you know when you see someone interacting with their friends you can sort of tell what personality they have, and she seemed genuinely nice.

mariebeth

Owen wrote: »

Spotted a girl at my band's gig on Sat who I recognised off POF, and she was just as cute as she was online, more so in fact. Sent her a message on POF after the gig as she'd gone to the club before I got a chance to say anything saying 'I hope this isn't stalkerish, but were you just in the crowd at my band's gig in xxx? Think I recognised you from here - if that was you, you're very very cute ' - and got stonewalled.

Do people really freak out if they're recognised offline? Sheesh! Pity, as you know when you see someone interacting with their friends you can sort of tell what personality they have, and she seemed genuinely nice.

I spotted one of the security guys from the place I work at on POF over the weekend. I'm half hoping he doesn't recognise me, because I'm hardly going to put up a picture of me in my work uniform! He comes across as up himself in work, so I'm just going to stay quiet & avoid!

LoTwan

KamiKazeKitten wrote: »

LoTwan wrote: »

Half the profiles make my eyes bleed. Seriously, would the odd punctuation mark kill them? And let's not get started on the use of the space & return keys!

Oh definitely!

And those people who got their caps lock button stuck, I honestly can't read those profiles. Stop shouting at me!

The pain! Punctuationless text speak makes me hit the back button quicker than anything. I just can't read the stuff.

Owen wrote: »

...and got stonewalled.

Do people really freak out if they're recognised offline? Sheesh! Pity, as you know when you see someone interacting with their friends you can sort of tell what personality they have, and she seemed genuinely nice.

That's a pity :-( I have to say I do fear someone locally recognising me.

Panthro

Well I've since messaged her saying to be honest I was disappointed about not meeting up over the weekend as I did think we had hit it off. I then ended by saying thanks for getting in touch and all the best.
She replied saying she was sorry and she didn't get a chance to go out as her gran was ill all weekend, and she would like to meet up.
Cut her some slack?

Daisies

Panthro wrote: »

So, same girl from a few days ago has messaged me today asking if I was around later.
I didn't bother me arsé replying to her last message, so I wasn't expecting to hear from her again. Now part of me is considering replying, I just don't know what to say to her!

Don't do it, you're better than her.She shouldn't get away with ignoring you unless she's bored (well, that's what it looks like).

Oh and a plus one for listening to my own advice

Dolly Daydreams

Panthro wrote: »

Well I've since messaged her saying to be honest I was disappointed about not meeting up over the weekend as I did think we had hit it off. I then ended by saying thanks for getting in touch and all the best.
She replied saying she was sorry and she didn't get a chance to go out as her gran was ill all weekend, and she would like to meet up.
Cut her some slack?

Interesting, she seems to be panicking now because of the 'all the best' sign off.. Maybe if you do really like her give her another chance? If she screws up then definitely 100% would be giving her a dear john letter

G-Money

Panthro wrote: »

Well I've since messaged her saying to be honest I was disappointed about not meeting up over the weekend as I did think we had hit it off. I then ended by saying thanks for getting in touch and all the best.
She replied saying she was sorry and she didn't get a chance to go out as her gran was ill all weekend, and she would like to meet up.
Cut her some slack?

Easy for me to say but I still think I'd say to forget it.

Did she explain why she stood you up the other night or does she just expect you to accept that as one of her endearing qualities? :rolleyes:

That_Guy

I wouldn't bother Panthro. She can't pick and choose when she wants to see you. You're better off without.

LoTwan

Panthro wrote: »

Cut her some slack?

NO!

I can't believe I have night off from my kids & I'm spending it alone, again!

Daisies

Panthro wrote: »

Well I've since messaged her saying to be honest I was disappointed about not meeting up over the weekend as I did think we had hit it off. I then ended by saying thanks for getting in touch and all the best.
She replied saying she was sorry and she didn't get a chance to go out as her gran was ill all weekend, and she would like to meet up.
Cut her some slack?

It sounds like you really want to meet her and just want us to say "Ya cut her some slack". And to be fair I'm very like that. If your gut instinct is to go meet her, nothing anyone says is going to change your mind.

G-Money

Daisies wrote: »

It sounds like you really want to meet her and just want us to say "Ya cut her some slack". And to be fair I'm very like that. If your gut instinct is to go meet her, nothing anyone says is going to change your mind.

The red head is right here Panthro. Often I think people deep down know what they want to do and sort of just wait to get enough replies to convince them they are right.

At the end of the day it's up to you what you do, we're just giving our opinions.

Semele

Panthro wrote: »

Well I've since messaged her saying to be honest I was disappointed about not meeting up over the weekend as I did think we had hit it off. I then ended by saying thanks for getting in touch and all the best.
She replied saying she was sorry and she didn't get a chance to go out as her gran was ill all weekend, and she would like to meet up.
Cut her some slack?

I'd give her another chance, if you liked her enough. People spend so much time here complaining about how difficult it is and how things rarely go anywhere- turning down a possible opportunity with a girl you liked just on principle isn't going to get you anywhere Why not just say the ball is in her court to get in touch with you then and see what happens? You'll see soon enough that way whether she's willing to make an effort.

I do think manners should count, but at the same time I don't hold practical strangers accountable for not making me the #1 priority in their lives! I've done it myself a few times and I've been on the receiving end- there are times when you've got things going on and the last thing on your mind is some person off t'internet. TBH I'd find it more offputting if someone seemed a) far more invested in the date and b) pissy about perceived rejection despite me explaining what had happened and definitively saying I'd like to meet again. NOTE: I'm not saying this is YOU btw, just what I'd be thinking! If someone gave the impression of being uptight and dare I say, high-maintenance, right at the start it would be a pretty big sign that they are not what I'm looking for.

G-Money

Semele wrote: »

I'd give her another chance, if you liked her enough. People spend so much time here complaining about how difficult it is and how things rarely go anywhere- turning down a possible opportunity with a girl you liked just on principle isn't going to get you anywhere Why not just say the ball is in her court to get in touch with you then and see what happens? You'll see soon enough that way whether she's willing to make an effort.

I do think manners should count, but at the same time I don't hold practical strangers accountable for not making me the #1 priority in their lives! I've done it myself a few times and I've been on the receiving end- there are times when you've got things going on and the last thing on your mind is some person off t'internet. TBH I'd find it more offputting if someone seemed a) far more invested in the date and b) pissy about perceived rejection despite me explaining what had happened and definitively saying I'd like to meet again.

I see your point here.

However I guess what is sticking in my mind is that she stood him up the other night and I could be wrong about this, but I don't think she explained that and I get the impression her grandmother becoming ill only happened afterwards so therefore wouldn't be a valid reason for her no-show.

But as I say, I could be wrong and may have missed out on that.

JamesBond2010

mariebeth wrote: »

I spotted one of the security guys from the place I work at on POF over the weekend. I'm half hoping he doesn't recognise me, because I'm hardly going to put up a picture of me in my work uniform! He comes across as up himself in work, so I'm just going to stay quiet & avoid!

:eek:I thought you were talking about me there for a minute,until I saw your location Cork:D

LoTwan

Purely out of curiosity and not trying to break the rule etc. is there a way to get around the AF "no contact details" rule?

Pembily

Panthro don't do it. I cut someone slack and then a bit more and I would have been better p!ssing against the wind for all the good it did me. I know you want to but as others said if she was interested enough she would have ay least text.x

Dolly Daydreams

Semele wrote: »

I'd give her another chance, if you liked her enough. People spend so much time here complaining about how difficult it is and how things rarely go anywhere- turning down a possible opportunity with a girl you liked just on principle isn't going to get you anywhere Why not just say the ball is in her court to get in touch with you then and see what happens? You'll see soon enough that way whether she's willing to make an effort.

I do think manners should count, but at the same time I don't hold practical strangers accountable for not making me the #1 priority in their lives! I've done it myself a few times and I've been on the receiving end- there are times when you've got things going on and the last thing on your mind is some person off t'internet. TBH I'd find it more offputting if someone seemed a) far more invested in the date and b) pissy about perceived rejection despite me explaining what had happened and definitively saying I'd like to meet again. NOTE: I'm not saying this is YOU btw, just what I'd be thinking! If someone gave the impression of being uptight and dare I say, high-maintenance, right at the start it would be a pretty big sign that they are not what I'm looking for.

I think you're spot on, and she was quick enough to reply when he cut her off and ended the convo.

Galvasean

Panthro, I say this as someone who has been stung by a similar type of woman many many times: You'd be better off without. A girl like that is always looking out for the BBD, the 'bigger better deal'. She'll cosy up to you when she has nothing else going, but the second a guy she likes better shows up she will drop you like a hot snot.

Semele

G-Money wrote: »

I see your point here.

However I guess what is sticking in my mind is that she stood him up the other night and I could be wrong about this, but I don't think she explained that and I get the impression her grandmother becoming ill only happened afterwards so therefore wouldn't be a valid reason for her no-show.

But as I say, I could be wrong and may have missed out on that.

No, that's fair enough and I was unclear about that too. However, I stand by my point either way. If I was stood up, I would either cut my losses there and then or I would get back into conversation with the person to see what the story was. If I chose to do the latter then I would give them another shot, because I'd only be wasting my own time if I didn't. Why would he bother getting into a dialogue with her again only to then turn around and say he didn't want to see her? You'd always be left wondering how things could have turned out!

It's one evening of your life, you've invested enough time and effort into it already so you might as well meet up, and, to be fair, it's very easy to think you can infer an awful lot about someone you barely know based on a few factors. Yes, she didn't show herself in the best light, but for people to start talking about what "type" of girl she is and how she is likely to act in a future relationship is a massive leap of inference. She could turn out to be lovely!

I think some people take this online thing way more seriously than I do. There is no point at all in viewing it as a potential long-term relationship at this stage, it's just a way to meet more people. You might not fancy/like her, she might not fancy/like you. But at least you'll know! Don't wreck your head overthinking it. If you want to meet her, do. You're not committing to anything.

stripysocks85

Any love stories after the bank hol?

mc_grens

stripysocks85 wrote: »

Any love stories after the bank hol?

Quite the opposite, in fact I'm giving the whole thing up for a while. I've never been in any hurry anyway.

stripysocks85

mc_grens wrote: »

Quite the opposite, in fact I'm giving the whole thing up for a while. I've never been in any hurry anyway.

The opposite? Some ANTI- love stories? Maybe don't give up, just put it on the back burner for a while if you feel you must.

Armaghmagic

What about yourself stripeysocks?

mc_grens

Bum.

Met a girl about a month ago. We went out a few times, the best dates I think I've ever had, really liked her. We havent seen each other in a fortnight or so (I've been down with a bad Sinus infection, she's had Hens, etc.). Now because of her job she's going to have to spend most of the next few months in the UK.

Obviously we have to give it up, and have both bemoaned the timing, but we agreed to keep in touch.

Bum anyway. She's a cracker.

stripysocks85 wrote: »

The opposite? Some ANTI- love stories? Maybe don't give up, just put it on the back burner for a while if you feel you must.

I've stopped my subscription renewal (due Thursday), and I've no photo up anyway, So I'll just let the profile hang. Have alot coming up anyway, traveling to gigs, festivals, etc. so I have plenty to keep me busy.

stripysocks85

What about me Armaghmagic?

Panthro

I believe I owe about half the thread a massive "I apologize, I should have listened to ye earlier". She's been texting a fair bit today, asking to meet. Eventually I said ok, will 8pm in town suit suit. A resounding yes was the reply. 9pm came and she says she's still in ballinasloe.
And she can fùcking stay there for all I care at this stage. And on that note, im off for a pint. Apologies to all ye who have reading my guff about this girl the past few days. Lesson learned on Panthro's part.

LoTwan

I have a coffee "arrangement" for Thursday :-)

Daisies

Panthro wrote: »

I believe I owe about half the thread a massive "I apologize, I should have listened to ye earlier". She's been texting a fair bit today, asking to meet. Eventually I said ok, will 8pm in town suit suit. A resounding yes was the reply. 9pm came and she says she's still in ballinasloe.
And she can fùcking stay there for all I care at this stage. And on that note, im off for a pint. Apologies to all ye who have reading my guff about this girl the past few days. Lesson learned on Panthro's part.

She's not worth it and doesn't deserve ya. She's messing you around and that's not cool. Enjoy the pint!