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The Online Dating Thread Part II **Mod Warning** Read First Post/or Post 7389

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    #7682
    Maraine
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9 ✭Maraine


    Just found a guy with this profile
    "
    I woo women with my sensuous and godlike trombone playing, I can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and I cook Thirty-Minute Scones in twenty minutes. I am an expert in suducco, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Peru.


    Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once single-handedly defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde of ferocious army ants. I play bluegrass cello, I was scouted by Manchester united , I am the subject of numerous documentaries. When I'm bored, I build large suspension bridges in my back garden. I enjoy urban hang gliding. On Wednesdays, after work , I repair electrical appliances free of charge.

    I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless bookie. Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy evening wear. I don't perspire. I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail. My deft floral arrangements have earned me fame in international botany circles. Children trust me.

    I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy. I once read Paradise Lost, Moby**** and David Copperfield and Ulysses in one day and still had time to refurbish an entire dining room that evening. I know the exact location of every food item in the supermarket. I have performed several covert operations for the CIA. I sleep once a week; when I do sleep, I sleep in a chair. While on vacation in Canada, I successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized a small bakery. The laws of physics do not apply to me.

    I balance, I weave, I dodge, I frolic, and my bills are all paid. On weekends, to let off steam, I participate in full-contact origami. Years ago I discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down. I have made extraordinary four course meals using only a mouli and a toaster oven. I breed prizewinning clams. I have won bullfights in San Juan, cliff-diving competitions in Sri Lanka, and spelling bees at the Kremlin. I have played Hamlet, I have performed open-heart surgery, and I have spoken with Elvis."

    im going to have to get in touch its brilliant!


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    #7683
    Esoteric_
    Closed Accounts Posts: 11,255 ✭✭✭✭Esoteric_


    Maraine wrote: »
    Just found a guy with this profile
    "
    I woo women with my sensuous and godlike trombone playing, I can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and I cook Thirty-Minute Scones in twenty minutes. I am an expert in suducco, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Peru.


    Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once single-handedly defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde of ferocious army ants. I play bluegrass cello, I was scouted by Manchester united , I am the subject of numerous documentaries. When I'm bored, I build large suspension bridges in my back garden. I enjoy urban hang gliding. On Wednesdays, after work , I repair electrical appliances free of charge.

    I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless bookie. Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy evening wear. I don't perspire. I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail. My deft floral arrangements have earned me fame in international botany circles. Children trust me.

    I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy. I once read Paradise Lost, Moby**** and David Copperfield and Ulysses in one day and still had time to refurbish an entire dining room that evening. I know the exact location of every food item in the supermarket. I have performed several covert operations for the CIA. I sleep once a week; when I do sleep, I sleep in a chair. While on vacation in Canada, I successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized a small bakery. The laws of physics do not apply to me.

    I balance, I weave, I dodge, I frolic, and my bills are all paid. On weekends, to let off steam, I participate in full-contact origami. Years ago I discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down. I have made extraordinary four course meals using only a mouli and a toaster oven. I breed prizewinning clams. I have won bullfights in San Juan, cliff-diving competitions in Sri Lanka, and spelling bees at the Kremlin. I have played Hamlet, I have performed open-heart surgery, and I have spoken with Elvis."

    im going to have to get in touch its brilliant!

    ahahaha, that is a fantastic profile. :pac:


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    #7684
    MudSkipper
    Registered Users Posts: 556 ✭✭✭MudSkipper


    ^^^ McGyver?


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    #7685
    Maraine
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9 ✭Maraine


    LyndaMcL wrote: »
    ahahaha, that is a fantastic profile. :pac:

    yeah he looks quite cute too.. has to be a catch there always is ..


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    #7686
    Maraine
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9 ✭Maraine


    MudSkipper wrote: »
    ^^^ McGyver?

    no not mcGyver but his user name is a charachter from a TV show though ...if memory serves me correctly


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    #7687
    LoTwan
    Registered Users Posts: 608 ✭✭✭LoTwan


    Maraine wrote: »
    no not mcGyver but his user name is a charachter from a TV show though ...if memory serves me correctly

    PM me the username so I can go have a look. ;)


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    #7688
    newbee22
    Registered Users Posts: 937 ✭✭✭newbee22


    Me too please!!:):)


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    #7689
    Maraine
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9 ✭Maraine


    LoTwan wrote: »
    Maraine wrote: »
    no not mcGyver but his user name is a charachter from a TV show though ...if memory serves me correctly

    PM me the username so I can go have a look. ;)


    Sent


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    #7690
    newbee22
    Registered Users Posts: 937 ✭✭✭newbee22


    Love what he's written for interests! :D


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    #7691
    LoTwan
    Registered Users Posts: 608 ✭✭✭LoTwan


    Maraine wrote: »
    Sent

    Many thanks. I concur... Go for it :)


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    #7692
    Maraine
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9 ✭Maraine


    newbee22 wrote: »
    Love what he's written for interests! :D

    I saw him first !!! Hee Hee sent to you


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    #7693
    newbee22
    Registered Users Posts: 937 ✭✭✭newbee22


    He lives too far away from me! :mad::mad::p I agree, go for it! Go get him! He's cute!


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    #7694
    Otis Driftwood
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,925 ✭✭✭Otis Driftwood


    Ladies,although that chaps profile was brilliant,its better if profiles werent copied and pasted directly on here.We had an issue a wee while ago where someone did the same and a randomer claiming to be the profile owner regged on boards and tried to kick up a bit of a stink.I think its something to do with posts on boards showing up on google searchs.

    I know the chances are minimal but better to er on the side of caution.

    Feel free to PM eachother profile links of course.

    Cheers!

    :)


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    #7695
    The White Queen
    Registered Users Posts: 9 ✭The White Queen


    Am I the only one who got suspicious and googled the first line? The whole thing comes from an urban legend 'college application essay'… So I'd say the catch is that his creativity is limited to using ctrl-c and ctrl-v ;)


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    #7696
    Esoteric_
    Closed Accounts Posts: 11,255 ✭✭✭✭Esoteric_


    The White Queen wrote: »
    Am I the only one who got suspicious and googled the first line? The whole thing comes from an urban legend 'college application essay'… So I'd say the catch is that his creativity is limited to using ctrl-c and ctrl-v ;)

    Oh no! I thought he was just hilarious. What a let down!


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    #7697
    miaowsky
    Registered Users Posts: 158 ✭✭miaowsky


    Arrrgghhh what is wrong with my profile!?

    Can some guys/gals please offer some input? I'm getting total nutters!


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    #7698
    Panthro
    Registered Users Posts: 14,805 ✭✭✭✭Panthro


    So a girl messaged me last night, I woke up to the alert message, had a gawk and then fell off back to sleep. Just thought of it earlier so I had a proper look.
    My god she's pretty, and also the cut of a girl that went to the same school as me backing the day.
    I've replied to her, but I won't kid myself, I genuinely think she's well out of my league. Perhaps she was tipsy when she messaged me, time will tell I guess!


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    #7699
    Dolly Daydreams
    Registered Users Posts: 245 ✭✭Dolly Daydreams


    miaowsky wrote: »
    Arrrgghhh what is wrong with my profile!?

    Can some guys/gals please offer some input? I'm getting total nutters!
    PM me


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    #7700
    Dolly Daydreams
    Registered Users Posts: 245 ✭✭Dolly Daydreams


    Panthro wrote: »
    So a girl messaged me last night, I woke up to the alert message, had a gawk and then fell off back to sleep. Just thought of it earlier so I had a proper look.
    My god she's pretty, and also the cut of a girl that went to the same school as me backing the day.
    I've replied to her, but I won't kid myself, I genuinely think she's well out of my league. Perhaps she was tipsy when she messaged me, time will tell I guess!

    What bother putting yourself down like that? I only message men that catch my eye, be flattered


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    #7701
    Esoteric_
    Closed Accounts Posts: 11,255 ✭✭✭✭Esoteric_


    Miaowsky, feel free to pm me your username and I'll take a look :)


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    #7702
    Dolly Daydreams
    Registered Users Posts: 245 ✭✭Dolly Daydreams


    One more cliched message, I'm off POF :(


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    #7703
    awec
    Administrators Posts: 53,845 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭awec


    This post has been deleted.


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    #7704
    IHeartShoes
    Registered Users Posts: 111 ✭✭IHeartShoes


    newbee22 wrote: »
    I'm scared! :
    ' Hi Miss ____ - You have a gorgeous pic and an interesting profile too..... Anyway, I'm looking for something very particular (NOT SEX) but it is something a bit different, so if you're open-minded, relaxed and not shy then please get back to me and I'll give you all the details'

    :eek::eek::eek::eek:


    Received this message ages ago and couldn't resist so messaged back asking what he was looking for, mother for his kids? a loan? etc etc. So....he is looking to meet someone for a coffee or tea and either **** in front of her or if thats too much for ya, he is happy to do it on skype:D Thoughtful or wha?

    He was really funny and said there were a few gals actually thinking about it! LOL!

    S


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    #7705
    awec
    Administrators Posts: 53,845 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭awec


    This post has been deleted.


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    #7706
    candycock
    Registered Users Posts: 208 ✭✭candycock


    i neva get any mail on POF think its time to take it down me thinks,not even one lady mailed me,shame on u,shame on u all:)


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    #7707
    newbee22
    Registered Users Posts: 937 ✭✭✭newbee22


    IHeartShoes wrote: »
    Received this message ages ago and couldn't resist so messaged back asking what he was looking for, mother for his kids? a loan? etc etc. So....he is looking to meet someone for a coffee or tea and either **** in front of her or if thats too much for ya, he is happy to do it on skype:D Thoughtful or wha?

    He was really funny and said there were a few gals actually thinking about it! LOL!

    S

    Hahaha!! Nearly choked laughing:):) Thank god I didn't reply, I'd have died of shock! :p


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    #7708
    Daisies
    Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators Posts: 4,644 Mod ✭✭✭✭Daisies


    Panthro wrote: »
    So a girl messaged me last night, I woke up to the alert message, had a gawk and then fell off back to sleep. Just thought of it earlier so I had a proper look.
    My god she's pretty, and also the cut of a girl that went to the same school as me backing the day.
    I've replied to her, but I won't kid myself, I genuinely think she's well out of my league. Perhaps she was tipsy when she messaged me, time will tell I guess!

    That attitude will get you nowhere my friend.You might be out of HER league


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    #7709
    miaowsky
    Registered Users Posts: 158 ✭✭miaowsky


    And the plot thickens...my ex messaged me the following "Remember me?"


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    #7710
    GrumPy
    Registered Users Posts: 6,557 ✭✭✭GrumPy


    miaowsky wrote: »
    And the plot thickens...my ex messaged me the following "Remember me?"

    Awks!


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    #7711
    IHeartShoes
    Registered Users Posts: 111 ✭✭IHeartShoes


    newbee22 wrote: »
    Hahaha!! Nearly choked laughing:):) Thank god I didn't reply, I'd have died of shock! :p


    One of my mates has suggested that POF stands for Plenty of Freaks, given the amount that make contact with me:)

    Another chap that messaged me, is wearing camouflage gear and balaclava and has a gun strapped across his front - in his profile picture!! Have you come across him? It all keeps my mates entertained if nothing else!

    Really sad part is that I have great fun replying to them. Maybe thats why you lovely normal guys don't get mail cos we are busy having a laff with the freaks:rolleyes:

    S


This discussion has been closed.
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