The Online Dating Thread Part II **Mod Warning** Read First Post/or Post 7389

TerrorFirmer

I joined POF and OKC ages ago but only kinda started taking them seriously recently, before that I guess I had a bit of a mental block about online dating as a serious avenue of meeting someone. I still wonder about that potential 'So, how'd you guys meet?' question and how I might respond...

I find the biggest problem for me, is that I actually get a fair bit of mail but it's pretty much always from places really far away - I mean, within Ireland, but say, Dublin, Louth,Cork what have you. Impractical places really...has anyone ever actually had a relationship that was long distance from the outset?

I guess it's just the kinda person I am, drawing similar people, of which there seems to be none of in little old Galway...I mean, online, anyway - but I don't get out as much as I'd like these days which I suppose is actually why I gave the whole online thing a go. I actually got a mail just yesterday from a girl saying I should give classes on writing profiles - apparently a lot of guys have samey, 'made in china' profiles! I think it's important how you say something, not always what you're actually saying. You really need to get character and a sense of who you are across. I can't believe how many uninteresting, impersonal profiles are out there...talking about female profiles, incidentally!

Overall I'm finding the online dating thing pretty good. I've gone on a few dates so far though none of them really worked out...but I haven't had a bad date yet!

Armaghmagic

dub5 wrote: »

argosy2006 wrote: »

Nope asked no one to review it, I'd fear that ,
Maybe you've seen it already.

Nothing to fear, it may improve your chances. The offer is there if you want me to have a look at it

Same offer from me too.....will PM you my profile if that helps?? The shame of it, but I'm willing to do it for a boardsie!!

Crann na Beatha

This post has been deleted.

Semele

ilovesleep wrote: »

How well do you know him?
Are you sure he is a doctor? Did he lie and make up a profession? Did he give you his real name? His behaviour and outburst is very odd and certainly wouldn't match that of a doctor. It's too strange.

No offence, but that post is fairly hyperbolic! It's attitudes like that that perpetuate the stigma around meeting people online. I was in touch with this guy for a while before we met (and have no reason to not believe he is who he says btw- he could just as easily say the same about me), spent a pleasant evening in his company without any red flags being raised and would have been perfectly happy to see him again, before it became too much hassle that is.

His behaviour is sadly not that unusual, if you read this thread or anything over on PI. He had a bit too much of an ego, thought he was quite the player/catch and had an unattractive and childish display of temper when challenged. That's all. He's not some sinister con-artist!

dub5

Aquila wrote: »

Anyone ever use the Irish Singles Network?

never heard of it

Daveysil15

POF SCIENCE
The three groups of people that use Plenty Of Fish:

1) "The Creepy Guy Trying To Get Laid"
Making up 60% of the POF population, the Creepy male breed is a curious one in that mere pornography alone will not quench his thirst for sexual pleasure! Further, this creature is disillusioned with the possibility that there are in fact girls who not only share in his sexual hunger, but would be charmed and flattered when demanded to show their breasts whilst they salivate to see him touch his private parts!

2) "The Hot Girl, Too Good For This Site"
The second large POF breed makes up 30% of the POF population and upwards of 80% of all its female patrons. Perhaps even more curious than the Creepy guy who fondles himself, the Hot Girl is steadfast in her resolve to show how beneath this site and all whom frequent it are to her! When they are not ignoring IM's and emails, they are uploading their latest alluring self photos which shows off not only their considerable physical features, but also the make and model of their digital camera.

3) "The Honest Crowd"
The Honest Crowd is a mixture of both males and females. They are outnumbered 9 to 1 and make up only 10% of the POF population. It has been suggested that these men and women are on the verge of extinction. Unlike the Creepy Guy (who is futilely clawing for an opportunity to share his genitals), and the Hot Girl (who spends her day on a dating site with no interest to date), the few remaining members of the Honest Crowd take part in this sites intended goal. Whether Male or Female, they realize this site is not an outlet to get laid, or tease members of the opposite sex with a variation of more and more revealing photos.

karonnia

Date no 2 last night...may have had a wee smooch

Lon Dubh

Mental Mickey wrote: »

Lol the poor spelling is cos I am typing it on a smartphone! The disability I have means that I have to use a wheelchair to get around.

Hi, could you get someone to measure you while you lie on a bed? Then you would have a more accurate height measurement and then you can also mention in your profile that you use a wheelchair. Then you are being honest and upfront, and maybe more accurate as well.

I haven't seen your profile, but if you put you are 5 foot or something they might think you are shorter and in a wheelchair so even at a very low height sitting down (e.g. they might be imagining that if they were sitting beside you trying to kiss you they would be leaning down even when you were both sitting).

So I would either get a friend to measure you, or put some height you are more likely to be if you are average, like 5 foot 6 or a bit more (I wouldn't go too high either) and then explain in the profile that you are average but a wheelchair user.

Just a thought. Are you in a rural area as well? Or in an area with less people? This would greatly reduce the choice and chances of meeting someone.

That_Guy

Seems the Toffee Crisp thing is working better than expected.

Woke up to 2 mails from 2 lasses enquiring about this Toffee Crisp. So in total 4 people have asked me about it... I may have to hold some sort of draw.

:pac:

starlit

What's the story with the toffee crisp then!?

That_Guy

doovdela wrote: »

What's the story with the toffee crisp then!?

I have something about the chance to win a Toffee Crisp in my profile towards the end. :pac:

Should really include that it's no purchase necessary. :pac:

starlit

That_Guy wrote: »

I have something about the chance to win a Toffee Crisp in my profile towards the end. :pac:

Should really include that it's no purchase necessary. :pac:

Hmmm interesting! :pac:

Adam

Did I just get blocked?:/ I messaged someone earlier, nothing spectacular about the message, I was just polite and so forth. Now apparently the user no longer exists? Is that the case or is there a function to block people so that it appears you deleted your profile? Harsh

Galvasean

Said I'd rewrite my profile today... but so hungover.

Herrick

Adam wrote: »

Did I just get blocked?:/ I messaged someone earlier, nothing spectacular about the message, I was just polite and so forth. Now apparently the user no longer exists? Is that the case or is there a function to block people so that it appears you deleted your profile? Harsh

On PoF? If so, the user deleted their profile. Block only means you can't message them, but you can still view their profile.

Adam

Herrick wrote: »

On PoF? If so, the user deleted their profile. Block only means you can't message them, but you can still view their profile.

Sorry, should have specified of course! On OkC...

Semele

Second date tonight with a really nice guy I met last week:D He was quite shy at first -apparently I was the first girl he'd met off t'internet- but we had a fun evening and got on really well.

On the downside- I was so stressed last time after doing a presentation at my evening class just before the last date that I got rather tipsy unusually quickly and don't have the clearest recollection now of what we talked about, so I fear boring him with all the same questions/stories tonight and seeming like a weirdo!

Just come off night shifts this morning and back in work at 7 in the morn...my job does not want me to have a social life ever:mad:

G-Money

So good news and bad news on the dating front for me. Bad news is that I met a girl off the net, had the 3rd date with her last night and she told me at the end that she didn't think there was anything romantic there. A tiny bit surprised but not massively at the same time. My only gripe being that I wish she had just text or called earlier in the week to say that, rather than telling me at the end of dinner. I wouldn't have went through with the 3rd date had I known that.

On the good news front, I've been getting a lot more replies to my mails both on POF and OKCupid. I'm not really sure why. I changed my profile a couple of weeks ago but not drastically. Maybe I'm just mailing more suitable women or something. Anyway I got a number earlier today of someone else on OKCupid so we'll see if that leads to anything and I'm pretty sure there's at least one or two other girls who would be on for meeting which makes a nice change.

G-Money

Adam wrote: »

Did I just get blocked?:/ I messaged someone earlier, nothing spectacular about the message, I was just polite and so forth. Now apparently the user no longer exists? Is that the case or is there a function to block people so that it appears you deleted your profile? Harsh

Something like that happened me once before on POF. I mailed this girl, same as you, a nice polite message, no sleaze, nothing. Then a while later I noticed the message was not in my Sent Items section. I thought perhaps it didn't send correctly so I tried to send it again and I got a message saying the user had blocked me. Lovely to know that I was so beneath her lofty standards that she couldn't even bear to run the risk of having any sort of contact with me!

Larianne

Semele wrote: »

On the downside- I was so stressed last time after doing a presentation at my evening class just before the last date that I got rather tipsy unusually quickly and don't have the clearest recollection now of what we talked about, so I fear boring him with all the same questions/stories tonight and seeming like a weirdo!

Just come off night shifts this morning and back in work at 7 in the morn...my job does not want me to have a social life ever:mad:

Just let him know this. He's hardly gonna shoot you for it.

Adam

G-Money wrote: »

Something like that happened me once before on POF. I mailed this girl, same as you, a nice polite message, no sleaze, nothing. Then a while later I noticed the message was not in my Sent Items section. I thought perhaps it didn't send correctly so I tried to send it again and I got a message saying the user had blocked me. Lovely to know that I was so beneath her lofty standards that she couldn't even bear to run the risk of having any sort of contact with me!

Well the message is still there, but the thumbnail picture is just the standard image for uses who have no photo, and when I click the username the site says there's no user by that name! I'm just going to assume she legitimately closed the account, I can't imagine I was that repulsive that she blocked me!

dub5

Adam wrote: »

Well the message is still there, but the thumbnail picture is just the standard image for uses who have no photo, and when I click the username the site says there's no user by that name! I'm just going to assume she legitimately closed the account, I can't imagine I was that repulsive that she blocked me!

When you search a username and nothing comes up, it either means that they have closed their account or they have hide their account

Galvasean

Adam wrote: »

Well the message is still there, but the thumbnail picture is just the standard image for uses who have no photo, and when I click the username the site says there's no user by that name! I'm just going to assume she legitimately closed the account, I can't imagine I was that repulsive that she blocked me!

People close (and reopen I must say) their accounts all the time. Just scrolled through my inbox and about a quarter of the profiles are now closed.

Adam

dub5 wrote: »

When you search a username and nothing comes up, it either means that they have closed their account or they have hide their account

Not helping my ego! :P

Christie Rainbows

I'm new here and have been readin this thread over the last few weeks.

I'm just looking for some advice, although I already know the answer.

Was messaging this guy for over 2 weeks, really hit it off, then we exchanged pics and he said I was gorgeous etc, later then we were chatting a bit more (he initiated the conversation) and I asked him if he liked the pic and he said let's keep chatting and see what happens.
Didn't hear anything the next day so I messaged him and asked him what the story would be etc. and he asked how was my day, kinda avoiding the question..
So I asked him again and he says hes not in a rush to meet anyone and needs to get his life sorted! and to send a message the odd time if I want to chat! I said I got a different impression from all the chatting and I asked him why is he on a dating site if he doesn't want to date. He replied and said he's put his search on hold and he will chat to me sometime on messenger. I replied and said he could hide his profile if he was putting his search on hold to stop getting messages off people and that I would miss chatting and best of luck.
Lo and behold I see he's back today with a weird old picture on his profile. It's just quite frustrating...

Galvasean

Sounds like a time waster. Best forget him TBH.

Christie Rainbows

Galvasean wrote: »

Sounds like a time waster. Best forget him TBH.

Thanks for the reply GalvaSean. Though I really want to message him and ask him why he kinda messed me around. He probably didn't like my pic but why would he initiate conversation after and later then suggest we'll chat again?
He probably is a bit lonely as he's unemployed and lives alone, that didn't bother me though as we just clicked anyway..

Busy Lizzie

G-Money wrote: »

So good news and bad news on the dating front for me. Bad news is that I met a girl off the net, had the 3rd date with her last night and she told me at the end that she didn't think there was anything romantic there. A tiny bit surprised but not massively at the same time. My only gripe being that I wish she had just text or called earlier in the week to say that, rather than telling me at the end of dinner. I wouldn't have went through with the 3rd date had I known that.

On the good news front, I've been getting a lot more replies to my mails both on POF and OKCupid. I'm not really sure why. I changed my profile a couple of weeks ago but not drastically. Maybe I'm just mailing more suitable women or something. Anyway I got a number earlier today of someone else on OKCupid so we'll see if that leads to anything and I'm pretty sure there's at least one or two other girls who would be on for meeting which makes a nice change.

Aw that's great G-Money! I noticed you haven't been on here in a few weeks and was afraid our last chat had frightened you off OD altogether! Hope the good news continues.

Scioch

Christie Rainbows wrote: »

Thanks for the reply GalvaSean. Though I really want to message him and ask him why he kinda messed me around. He probably didn't like my pic but why would he initiate conversation after and later then suggest we'll chat again?
He probably is a bit lonely as he's unemployed and lives alone, that didn't bother me though as we just clicked anyway..

Could have panicked last minute, had a different view of you before he seen the pic which may have changed things after. He may not have been attracted to you. He may just be a time waster with no actual plans to meet someone. Who knows.

Christie Rainbows

LordSmeg wrote: »

Could have panicked last minute, had a different view of you before he seen the pic which may have changed things after. He may not have been attracted to you. He may just be a time waster with no actual plans to meet someone. Who knows.

Yeah I guess that's a good summary of the possible reasons. Should I send another message ? I just want closure!