The Online Dating Thread Part II **Mod Warning** Read First Post/or Post 7389

That_Guy

Larianne wrote: »

Having a bit of a headwreck at the moment with this. Not exactly the same and maybe I'm overracting, bah. Annoying. :cool:

Have you texted him?

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Update on drummer girl: She never replied. :pac:

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Few girls have asked me about my eye. I'm blind in my right eye and it's basically pure white. No colour or anything. My left eye is fine. "Normal" if you will. Clearly noticable on my pics.

Anyway, I've told them what's up with it and even after seemingly good conversation, I hear nothing back from them.

I tell them that it's not hampered me in any way and I can look after myself fine and it's something I've lived with since birth.

I'm comfortable with myself but it's getting increasingly frustrating that it seems to be a deal breaker recently. :rolleyes:

Otis Driftwood

new2netdating wrote: »

I don't think I have a thick enough skin for this stuff.

How important do people see the match% aspect of OKC? Do other sites have this?

As finding a kindred spirit is really important to me, I am seriously only looking to people that match well after answering a lot of questions etc.

The one person who's profile I thought was really great and someone I thought I'd connect well with never replied to me. Now I feel crappy enough with that. But on the flip side I've all these women who are completely incompatible visiting my profile and messaging me and I just don't understand it.Plus I feel horrible trying to message them and say I'm not interested somehow without coming off like an asshole.

So I feel crap about girls I like not being interested in me and crap for not being interested in girls who inexplicably seem to show interest in me. Crap all over.

Is there a match feature like OKC on other sites?

Not sure I can handle this much more though

Jeez man,you are putting waaaaaaay too much stock into those poxy match things.

Best bet is ignore them and just read random profiles.

If someone catches your eye,message them.

If they dont,then dont.

You need to realise that online dating is not to be taken so seriously other wise you will continue feeling like crap about the whole thing.

Larianne

new2netdating wrote: »

I don't think I have a thick enough skin for this stuff.

How important do people see the match% aspect of OKC? Do other sites have this?

As finding a kindred spirit is really important to me, I am seriously only looking to people that match well after answering a lot of questions etc.

The one person who's profile I thought was really great and someone I thought I'd connect well with never replied to me. Now I feel crappy enough with that. But on the flip side I've all these women who are completely incompatible visiting my profile and messaging me and I just don't understand it.Plus I feel horrible trying to message them and say I'm not interested somehow without coming off like an asshole.

So I feel crap about girls I like not being interested in me and crap for not being interested in girls who inexplicably seem to show interest in me. Crap all over.

Is there a match feature like OKC on other sites?

Not sure I can handle this much more though

Think of it this way - are you attracted to every member of the opposite sex that you come in contact with? No, probably not. Its the same on t'internet as in real life. And you need to realise its the same for the other person. For whatever reason you might not be what they are looking for. Once you can get over that and move on, it becomes a whole lot easier.

Its been debated on here as to whether or not to give someone a reply if you are not interested. Jury's out as people prefer different things. You could just have a standard reply to the messages you are not interested so all you have to do is copy and paste?

I wouldn't bother with that match feature, at all! If you find someones profile interesting mail them.

This whole thing takes a while to get used to..

That_Guy

new2netdating wrote: »

I
How important do people see the match% aspect of OKC? Do other sites have this?

Not very important at all. It's just a gimmick and shouldn't be taken literally. Life isn't defined by numbers and you shouldn't restrict yourself as to who you talk to.

The one person who's profile I thought was really great and someone I thought I'd connect well with never replied to me. Now I feel crappy enough with that. But on the flip side I've all these women who are completely incompatible visiting my profile and messaging me and I just don't understand it.Plus I feel horrible trying to message them and say I'm not interested somehow without coming off like an asshole.

OKC doesn't have that many active users on their site from what I gather. I went to message a girl whose profile I liked the look of and she hadn't been online in months. Perhaps this is the reason you're not getting a response or perhaps, and I'm being blunt here mate, she's just not interested in you.

If you're not into somebody who has messaged you then don't get too down on yourself about it. You don't have to message everybody back. They'll get the hint. Sounds cruel. Having said that, I'd always make an effort to reply to somebody who had a well thought out message.

So I feel crap about girls I like not being interested in me and crap for not being interested in girls who inexplicably seem to show interest in me. Crap all over.

It's a bit of a feast and a famine sometimes mate. Have you tried Plenty Of Fish. There's a lot more users on there. Not as good as the layout that OKC has mind.

LegacyUser

Otis Driftwood wrote: »

But sure isnt that better than sitting there wondering?

Im in my 30s and I feckin love when the female takes the initiative as Im sure most blokes posting in this thread will atest to!

I think if he was interested I would have heard from him by now. Old fashioned I know but would a guy really expect a shy girl to chase him. I don't think so.

I've a few new message to distract me now... roll on another date.

Larianne

That_Guy wrote: »

Have you texted him?

Yeah, its not the same situation as the poster I was replying to but it has the headwrecked a biteen. Gonna try relax a bit. :cool:

Sanjuro

bitdisappointed wrote: »

I've tried taken the initiative with the last few men I meet and nothing positive came of it. Maybe men my age (30s) are not as used to or open to women being forward! I swore I would let the man do the texting next time.

Well, I cant speak for all men in their 30's but a woman who has the self-confidence to take the initiative is great. It's an extremely attractive trait. Send a text to ease your mind. If he doesn't reply, or runs, you're not really missing out on anything. Would you want to be with someone who's so easily spooked?! Doesn't say much about him!

That_Guy

Larianne wrote: »

Yeah, its not the same situation as the poster I was replying to but it has the headwrecked a biteen. Gonna try relax a bit. :cool:

Larianne

Shola Ama?

That_Guy

Larianne wrote: »

Shola Ama?

Shola Ameobi.

Otis Driftwood

Another boardsie who shall remain nameless got this mailed to her.

Its awesome.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hwokILb8FGg

JohnMearsheimer

Otis Driftwood wrote: »

Id agree with the others and give her the benefit of the doubt.Maybe try a non beer related activity for date #2.

I'm still trying to make my mind up about the whole thing. There's something niggling in the back of my mind about it. She hugged me at the end and told me to txt her.

As for her knocking back a few before meeting me, I really hope she didn't.

finipops

JohnMearsheimer wrote: »

I'm still trying to make my mind up about the whole thing. There's something niggling in the back of my mind about it. She hugged me at the end and told me to txt her.

As for her knocking back a few before meeting me, I really hope she didn't.

Give it another shot. She seems like she had a drink to help with the nerves. At least she told you to contact her again that's always a plus eh?

awec

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Samich

awec wrote: »

Still no views. I'm getting worried!

Are you mailing people?

awec

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Galvasean

View lots and lots of profiles. It will draw their attention to you.

DwightShrute

Thinking of giving this a whirl.
How many pics do people usually put up (thinking specifically of OKC), one or more?

the_syco

It seems apart from very (VERY) large women, OKCupid attracts no-one really to my profile Damn all you luck mofos :P

awec

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Galvasean

DwightShrute wrote: »

Thinking of giving this a whirl.
How many pics do people usually put up (thinking specifically of OKC), one or more?

3 at the least I'd say. Try to include a variety. A profile with one pic can be viewed as a 'fluke' since everybody has at least one good picture of themself.
Go for variety too. For example, this pic of mine:


while not the most handsome pic a woman is likely to see is a good conversation piece :pac:

awec

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Agent Smith

timewilltell wrote: »

Give her another chance!

Believe me... I was that girl a few moths ago...

Except it was 8 glasses of wine (1 pre to calm my nerves) ...
I'd say I left a lasting impression alright.

This sounds like someone i went out with once.....


hmmmm

Galvasean

awec wrote: »

Seems to be a lot of bisexual women in Dublin...

Interestingly stats released by OKC showed that 90%+ of women claiming to be bisexual mailed members of the opposite sex exclusively. My guess being the women do it for attention because us men being uncontrollable sex monsters will see the term 'bi' and read 'threesome', become inexorably aroused and be putty, formless and easily manipulated putty in their hands!

edit: It's actually quite an annoying trend as I know a couple of people who are genuinely bisexual and as a result of all these 'fakers' they find it difficult to be taken seriously.

awec

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awec

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LegacyUser

awec wrote: »

Seems to be a lot of bisexual women in Dublin...

If only! Genuinely bi girl here and I tried online dating. Very few gay/bi women out there genuinely.

stargazer 68

awec wrote: »

One thing I've noticed is that a lot of OKCupid people have not logged in in a very long time.

You find someone who looks like a potential to message and they haven't been on in like 8 months. What's the point?

Yep which is why I have knocked OKC on the head!

Now most of you know Im the 'granny' of the thread so my settings are for over 35's. So I got message last night on POF - photo on the profile which is 'usually'a good sign. Opened the message

'can I sniff them'??

WTF!! :eek::eek::(

awec

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KamiKazeKitten

Dovies wrote: »

'can I sniff them'??

WTF!! :eek::eek::(

What a charmer :rolleyes: