Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie

The worst sex you have ever had with someone?

Options
1…34689…22

Comments

  • Options
    #152
    booboo88
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,107 ✭✭✭booboo88


    veryangryman wrote: »
    That where you got the username?
    Nope:P


  • Options
    #153
    Gummy Panda
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,919 ✭✭✭✭Gummy Panda


    ibarelycare wrote: »
    One embarrassing one was with my last boyfriend. It was only our second time ever having sex and we were a bit drunk. We were going doggy style and kinda rough, and he pulled out and went to go back in a bit too enthusastically and it went into the wrong hole. It was such a shock and so painful that I just burst into tears :o

    I've heard similar stories from girls I've worked with. Lad chancing his arm with dutch courage lol


  • Options
    #154
    richymcdermott
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,447 ✭✭✭richymcdermott


    Sex ugh...never done it but i imagine it something like this

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qvgYAwDORo4


  • Options
    #155
    ibarelycare
    Registered Users Posts: 58,456 ✭✭✭✭ibarelycare


    Gummy Panda wrote: »
    I've heard similar stories from girls I've worked with. Lad chancing his arm with dutch courage lol


    He could have just asked nicely!!!


  • Options
    #156
    3ndahalfof6
    Registered Users Posts: 5,184 ✭✭✭3ndahalfof6


    I know its a good thread when I go to take a gulp of wine and the glass is empty (mortal sin) some funny stuff,

    I have 1 but it would be like reading Hansel and Gretel compared to some of this stuff.


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #157
    boomkatalog
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,598 ✭✭✭boomkatalog


    There was the guy who pulled out just as I was about to cum. He was about to himself, but wouldn't cum inside me, despite having a condom on. I've never been so close to killing someone in my life.

    Same guy also tried to lick whipped cream off my tummy once. He forgot to refrigerate it first, it did not smell/taste nice, gone off dairy is a serious mood killer :(

    Another guy was both small, fcuked like a little jack hammer and never lasted longer than 3 minutes. He was asked 'is it in yet?' on more than one occasion.

    A guy once called me 'mistress' during sex too. I had to give him head just to stop myself from laughing.


  • Options
    #158
    Arawn
    Registered Users Posts: 3,158 ✭✭✭Arawn


    boomkatalog wrote: »

    A guy once called me 'mistress' during sex too. I had to give him head just to stop myself from laughing.
    maybe he was cheating on his wife!


  • Options
    #159
    Rocky_Dennis
    Closed Accounts Posts: 433 ✭✭Rocky_Dennis


    boomkatalog wrote: »
    There was the guy who pulled out just as I was about to cum. He was about to himself, but wouldn't cum inside me, despite having a condom on. I've never been so close to killing someone in my life.

    Same guy also tried to lick whipped cream off my tummy once. He forgot to refrigerate it first, it did not smell/taste nice, gone off dairy is a serious mood killer :(

    Another guy was both small, fcuked like a little jack hammer and never lasted longer than 3 minutes. He was asked 'is it in yet?' on more than one occasion.

    A guy once called me 'mistress' during sex too. I had to give him head just to stop myself from laughing.

    Quality description :D,he had a small cock but a fast arse.


  • Options
    #160
    Snowie
    Closed Accounts Posts: 22,048 ✭✭✭✭Snowie


    ibarelycare wrote: »
    Oh my god that happened me before too!!!! And the worst thing was I REALLY liked the guy and had wanted to get with him for ages :( Absolutely gross gross gross.

    what kinda man does not clean his willson :confused:


  • Options
    #161
    Vinta81
    Registered Users Posts: 2,953 ✭✭✭Vinta81


    castletownman wrote: »
    I know a lad who was riding a girl when half ways through she goes "this is ****" and just got out of bed and left.*


    *It wasn't me before ye ask.

    I've done that. I was bored and just kept staring at the ceiling praying he'd stop.


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #162
    kylith
    Registered Users Posts: 17,736 ✭✭✭✭kylith


    boomkatalog wrote: »
    There was the guy who pulled out just as I was about to cum. He was about to himself, but wouldn't cum inside me, despite having a condom on. I've never been so close to killing someone in my life.
    I've had that too. Fúcking maddening.


  • Options
    #163
    hondasam
    Closed Accounts Posts: 34,418 ✭✭✭✭hondasam


    Vinta81 wrote: »
    I've done that. I was bored and just kept staring at the ceiling praying he'd stop.

    No matter how bad he was if i let him start i would let him finish.


  • Options
    #164
    Gummy Panda
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,919 ✭✭✭✭Gummy Panda


    Vinta81 wrote: »
    I've done that. I was bored and just kept staring at the ceiling praying he'd stop.

    i think that would give any guy a complex


  • Options
    #165
    Vickysg24
    Registered Users Posts: 128 ✭✭Vickysg24


    This thread is so amusing!!


  • Options
    #166
    JohnnyTodd
    Closed Accounts Posts: 287 ✭✭JohnnyTodd


    I had a bird tonguing the hoop off me and she had to stop to puke.

    And before anyone suggests I had a dirty ringpiece I hadnt!!! She was hammered


  • Options
    #167
    Gonzor
    Closed Accounts Posts: 257 ✭✭Gonzor


    Ive had some terrible experiences. I think the worst was with a girl who I fancied for ages. It was all going great until I realised she has a thing for sticking her fingers up guys ass's as they cum :O THe first time she did it I went crazy and then kinda assumed that was it and that she wouldnt do it again, but she did do it again, and then again a third time, and then a fourth.... after that I was gone... (Im a slow learner I know)


  • Options
    #168
    boomkatalog
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,598 ✭✭✭boomkatalog


    My worst experience by far though was the time me and my first boyf decided to try anal. After a minute I asked him to stop because it hurt so much. I stood up, pulled on my knickers, and fainted.

    Mortified.


  • Options
    #169
    Vinta81
    Registered Users Posts: 2,953 ✭✭✭Vinta81


    hondasam wrote: »
    No matter how bad he was if i let him start i would let him finish.

    People are different.


  • Options
    #170
    Rocky_Dennis
    Closed Accounts Posts: 433 ✭✭Rocky_Dennis


    JohnnyTodd wrote: »
    I had a bird tonguing the hoop off me and she had to stop to puke.

    And before anyone suggests I had a dirty ringpiece I hadnt!!! She was hammered

    Big sweaty hole on ya :p


  • Options
    #171
    Degringola
    Registered Users Posts: 415 ✭✭Degringola


    Novella wrote: »
    "Are ya nearly there?"
    "You nearly there yet?"
    "Are you nearly there?"

    Every 10 seconds. If he put as much effort into fucking me as he did into asking me that damn question, I actually might have got there.

    You mean you're not the Bothar Goat?


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #172
    Arawn
    Registered Users Posts: 3,158 ✭✭✭Arawn


    boomkatalog wrote: »
    My worst experience by far though was the time me and my first boyf decided to try anal. After a minute I asked him to stop because it hurt so much. I stood up, pulled on my knickers, and fainted.

    Mortified.
    It's ok he went back to work and finished!


  • Options
    #173
    Gummy Panda
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,919 ✭✭✭✭Gummy Panda


    Worse for me was the time it didn't get near sex. Years ago in college was with this girl in a friend's house. We are upstairs naked in the bed groping all over and I suggest I put on a condom. She gets all upset and emotional saying she is not ready and her previous fella was a bollix.

    So me being the big softie is all comforting and understanding. Then like a switch she is like "well you don;t have to stop fingering me.." :confused:


  • Options
    #174
    Siuin
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,659 ✭✭✭Siuin


    I remember going out for dinner with my then boyfriend, my female friend and his male friend, and they both headed away when the night was over and we went back to my boyfriend's apartment. We got straight to it, when all of a sudden there was a knock on the door-- his friend's bus hadn't arrived and he wanted to wait inside because he was cold/ lonely/ stupid. My boyfriend pulled on his underwear and answered the door with a raging boner (his buddy was like "Hey, what's u- WHOAH! Okay...!!" Since there was only one room in the apartment apart from the toilet, we all sat there really awkwardly. His friend refused to go outside to allow me to get dressed, so I sat in bed completely naked with the sheets pulled around me. And there was the boyfriend in his underwear, boner still at full mast and his friend sitting opposite us, as we sat like that for about 10 of the longest minutes of my life in awkward silence....


    Yeah...


  • Options
    #175
    Randy Anders
    Registered Users Posts: 219 ✭✭Randy Anders


    When I was young fella, I puked during the act of cunninglus. It was to do with how much drink I had consumed, rather than the smell!


  • Options
    #176
    chimmy chonga
    Closed Accounts Posts: 185 ✭✭chimmy chonga


    I remember after the first time with my girlfriend I said to her 'I didn't realise you were a virgin' - She said 'I'm not, you should've taken my tights off first'.;)


  • Options
    #177
    Temptamperu
    Registered Users Posts: 5,303 ✭✭✭Temptamperu


    I used to go out with this girl who would only have sex in the dark... no peaking :rolleyes: no fingering, no oral and she just lay there like a dead horse. She had the imagination of an old rug... actually you would probably get more stimulation out of the rug.


  • Options
    #178
    JohnnyTodd
    Closed Accounts Posts: 287 ✭✭JohnnyTodd


    A friend of mine the messer that he is. Tried to fart on his girlfriends back and followed through. He had to sneakily scrape the ****e off her back with the duvet.

    Lucky for him she never copped on


  • Options
    #179
    hondasam
    Closed Accounts Posts: 34,418 ✭✭✭✭hondasam


    JohnnyTodd wrote: »
    A friend of mine the messer that he is. Tried to fart on his girlfriends back and followed through. He had to sneakily scrape the ****e off her back with the duvet.

    Lucky for him she never copped on

    Dirty sick bastard.


  • Options
    #180
    gigino
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,350 ✭✭✭gigino


    its said that the best sex is when ye can hold her hind legs steady and tuck her front legs in to your wellies;)


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #181
    My name is URL
    Registered Users Posts: 25,068 ✭✭✭✭My name is URL


    Not really a bad experience but a bizarre one.

    I was asleep on a mates sofa after a house party only to be awoken by this girl feeling my face up with her bare foot. I don't know how long she had been at it but when I finally woke up her toe was literally on its way into my nostril. Then she asked if I was horny =/

    I was.. but that's beside the point


Advertisement