The worst sex you have ever had with someone?

Sunnyisland

My name is URL wrote: »

Not really a bad experience but a bizarre one.

I was asleep on a mates sofa after a house party only to be awoken by this girl feeling my face up with her bare foot. I don't know how long she had been at it but when I finally woke up her toe was literally on its way into my nostril. Then she asked if I was horny =/

I was.. but that's beside the point

Maybe she was just being nosy

Chuck Stone

Not a bad experience but I had this one ex where winding each other up was a big part of the relationship.

Anyhoo we were kinda smooching and I got her all wound up and ready to go and then I legged it out the door and didn't come back that night .

She was in a thermonuclear rage on the phone :pac:

Got me back though the bitch. Some wind-up :mad:

ibarelycare

My name is URL wrote: »

Not really a bad experience but a bizarre one.

I was asleep on a mates sofa after a house party only to be awoken by this girl feeling my face up with her bare foot. I don't know how long she had been at it but when I finally woke up her toe was literally on its way into my nostril. Then she asked if I was horny =/

I was.. but that's beside the point

Did you have sex with her?

G.muny

Well it started off great with this guy who had more energy than anyone else I was ever with. I mean he must have taken viagra or something before hand because he could go for ages and then go again and then again......and then AGAIN! which to begin with I was deighted with and he was as proud as punch with himself.

After what literally must have been an hour and a half though things were starting to hurt and any moans of "pleasure" on my side where most defently faked. He was so proud of his Olympian perfomance I didn't want to disapoint him. So when he stopped and asked me how many times I had climaxed I lied and said 8 thinking that would suit him and he would call it a night.

Then he declares "Well lets make it ten!" decided to use his fingers and puts his head on my chest because he want to hear my hear my heart race when it happens. Now I had been faking it for the last half an hour and I panic because there is no way its going to happen again. The lady parts where well and truly sore at this stage. So I just made the right noises and he fell for it and actually said "I could hear your heart speeding up and everything!"

First thing next morning he wanted to again!

I never thought it till then but there is such thing as too much of a good thing.

JohnnyTodd

hondasam wrote: »

Dirty sick bastard.

He sure is. A guard too

hondasam

JohnnyTodd wrote: »

He sure is. A guard too

Might have know he would be a pig, bet he grunts as well

My name is URL

ibarelycare wrote: »

Did you have sex with her?

Of course :pac:

just thought it was an odd way of coming on to someone!

Gummy Panda

My name is URL wrote: »

ibarelycare wrote: »

Did you have sex with her?

Of course :pac:

just thought it was an odd way of coming on to someone!

Maybe she is a fan of Brittany Murphy's foot scene from Cherry Falls

G.muny

Just remembered another time a fella emerged from the kitchen with his home made ice dildo declaring "He had always wanted to try this with a girl"..........I was drunk by the way otherwise I would have found it alot stranger. In fairness I should have known better and experienced first hand what an ice burned fanny felt like. When I told him it felt awful and to stop he kept trying to insist it would get better and kept coming at me with it while I tried to explain it was actually extremely painful. In the end I had to take it off him and throw it across the room to get him to give up on the idea.

Needless to say I never returned any of his calls afterwards

nicebutdim

Not bad, but the first squirter was quite a shock, I can tell you. Being the generous soul that I am. I thought that it was only polite to hang around the front door for a bit.:pac: :pac: 10 minutes later, having being nearly smothered in a vice like grip, then she tried to feckin' drown me !!

Ah....the glory days!

( Am I going to banned for this??? )

ziggy23

Cum in the eye I kid you not then we had to go out after and me sitting there with a manky bloodshot eye:o
Another guy had a nosebleed on me during sex

hondasam

G.muny wrote: »

Just remembered another time a fella emerged from the kitchen with his home made ice dildo declaring "He had always wanted to try this with a girl"..........I was drunk by the way otherwise I would have found it alot stranger. In fairness I should have known better and experienced first hand what an ice burned fanny felt like. When I told him it felt awful and to stop he kept trying to insist it would get better and kept coming at me with it while I tried to explain it was actually extremely painful. In the end I had to take it off him and throw it across the room to get him to give up on the idea.

Needless to say I never returned any of his calls afterwards

You not like hot sex ?

Scuid Mhór

Ellis Dee wrote: »

She just kept repeating baaa - baaa - baaa --- ;);)

a sheep man huh :cool:

Samich

I've yet to do the deed, quality thread though

nicebutdim

Him: Did the earth move for you?
Her: Not even the bed moved

(/gets coat )

Gummy Panda

nicebutdim wrote: »

Not bad, but the first squirter was quite a shock, I can tell you. Being the generous soul that I am. I thought that it was only polite to hang around the front door for a bit.:pac: :pac: 10 minutes later, having being nearly smothered in a vice like grip, then she tried to feckin' drown me !!

Ah....the glory days!

( Am I going to banned for this??? )

Sounds like my first girlfriend.

Snowie

My name is URL wrote: »

Of course :pac:

just thought it was an odd way of coming on to someone!

you licked her foot didn't you

mattjack

My name is URL wrote: »

Not really a bad experience but a bizarre one.

I was asleep on a mates sofa after a house party only to be awoken by this girl feeling my face up with her bare foot. I don't know how long she had been at it but when I finally woke up her toe was literally on its way into my nostril. Then she asked if I was horny =/

I was.. but that's beside the point

amputee sex ?

BOHtox

My name is URL wrote: »

Not really a bad experience but a bizarre one.

I was asleep on a mates sofa after a house party only to be awoken by this girl feeling my face up with her bare foot. I don't know how long she had been at it but when I finally woke up her toe was literally on its way into my nostril. Then she asked if I was horny =/

I was.. but that's beside the point

Jumpy

gigino wrote: »

its said that the best sex is when ye can hold her hind legs steady and tuck her front legs in to your wellies;)

Um. That sounds wrong, and not just because you are referring to a sheep.

What are you trying to do, a 69?

Someone didnt think his physics through. God knows why I did.

Ms. Pingui

Vickysg24 wrote: »

had a bad experience giving head once... The guy hadn't washed and pulled his foreskin down only to find loadsa cheesy bits!! *PUKE PUKE PUKE*!!!! that could put any woman off!!

This happened me once too! Gross!!! :mad:

Ms. Pingui

Vinta81 wrote: »

I've done that. I was bored and just kept staring at the ceiling praying he'd stop.

Me Too!!!:(

senorwipesalot

Knacker and his daughter walk into a doctors surgery.

KNACKER: doctor, my daughter has a sore fanny

DOCTOR: is she sexually active?

KNACKER: no,she just lies there like her mother.

Teyla Emmagan

This post will lack disgustingness, for which I will apologise - in the spirit of the thread.

My only really bad night of sex was with a guy who was in the 'too drunk to come stage' (my first experience of the phenomenon), but who still had the energy of a marathon runner. I swear, it took about three hours, during which I pretzeled, did acrobatics, nearly knocked out my epiglottis, and basically did everything I could to get him off.

Still failed. And had cystisis from my poor bruised fanny for a good week (agony, seriously).

These days I have a time limit - get off or get off me. It's working much better:D

Charlie Haughy

My name is URL wrote: »

Not really a bad experience but a bizarre one.

I was asleep on a mates sofa after a house party only to be awoken by this girl feeling my face up with her bare foot. I don't know how long she had been at it but when I finally woke up her toe was literally on its way into my nostril. Then she asked if I was horny =/

I was.. but that's beside the point

Was she hot doe?

ibarelycare

Teyla Emmagan wrote: »

This post will lack disgustingness, for which I will apologise - in the spirit of the thread.

My only really bad night of sex was with a guy who was in the 'too drunk to come stage' (my first experience of the phenomenon), but who still had the energy of a marathon runner. I swear, it took about three hours, during which I pretzeled, did acrobatics, nearly knocked out my epiglottis, and basically did everything I could to get him off.

Still failed. And had cystisis from my poor bruised fanny for a good week (agony, seriously).

These days I have a time limit - get off or get off me. It's working much better:D

Ugh I hate that! I'd rather have a 60-seconder than a 60-minuter

Teyla Emmagan

ibarelycare wrote: »

Ugh I hate that! I'd rather have a 60-seconder than a 60-minuter

Oh yeah, me too lady!!

Temptamperu

Teyla Emmagan wrote: »

This post will lack disgustingness, for which I will apologise - in the spirit of the thread.

My only really bad night of sex was with a guy who was in the 'too drunk to come stage' (my first experience of the phenomenon), but who still had the energy of a marathon runner. I swear, it took about three hours, during which I pretzeled, did acrobatics, nearly knocked out my epiglottis, and basically did everything I could to get him off.

Still failed. And had cystisis from my poor bruised fanny for a good week (agony, seriously).

These days I have a time limit - get off or get off me. It's working much better:D

Reminds me of a time I took aload of E and was riding me ex for about two hours Ended up getting thrown of her.

ascanbe

The Great Chinholio wrote: »

Worst for me was after things getting sweaty we switched to doggy. When she bent over I realised she barely wiped (if at all) and the sweat had made things very nasty. Good god the smell
I just had to stop fast. Nearly vomited

Besides that id say its usually me thats the bad side :pac:

Sounds like she needed TP for her bung-hole.

holystungun9

Probably when Freddie Krugar felt me up, or else when I got bum fingered by Captain Hook.