Did you get hit by your parents?

vtec_vixen

ziggy23 wrote: »

Did anybody see this video doing the rounds?? It's quite upsetting so beware:mad::( That is pure and simple child abuse. My heart actually broke watching it.
http://www.worldstarhiphop.com/videos/video.php?v=wshh3BI4708zS3J35O86

Thats appalling no DISGUSTING...
Its is beyond me how little humanity people posess sometimes.


Thats awful. The poor child :mad::mad::mad::mad:

ziggy23

vtec_vixen wrote: »

Thats apalling no DISGUSTING...
Its is beyond me how little humanity people posess sometimes.


Thats awful. The poor child :mad::mad::mad::mad:

I know the poor kid is terrified:( I hope I didn't upset anybody by posting it here it could be the wrong thread for it.

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

prinz wrote: »

You explain afterwards just what it was that pushed you to the limit, and how you don't like doing it and don't want to ever have to do it again for example. It's not that difficult. I never got the message that was an acceptable way of solving disagreements.

But can you see how, in the mind of a child, that that might be the message communicated? And how does a parent stop themselves from communicating it?

vtec_vixen

ziggy23 wrote: »

I know the poor kid is terrified:( I hope I didn't upset anybody by posting it here it could be the wrong thread for it.

Maybe just put a NSFW or a viewer discretion tag beside it...at least that way people can choose whether or not to look at.. Or PM doctor bollocko he's a mod he might be able to help with deciding if its okay. It is AH though so..

Tony EH

You see, this is the problem with this discussion. It starts out as a smack on the bum to stop a child you simply cannot reason with from running out into traffic...

...to that barbaric video above.

There is a world of difference to a smack on the arse, to instill a short sharp shock to a person that doesn't have the language skills or the mental agility to understand that playing in traffic, or sticking a fork into the toaster is a bad idea...

...and beating the **** out of a kid.

girlonfire

To answer the question, yes I did get smacked with the wooden spoon several times growing up. I also felt the burn of the old leather belt across the back of my legs when I was really "bold".
Wouldn't do it to a child myself, but it hasn't done me any harm.

Max Keller

Got a well deserved clatter when I was very bold. Different times back then. Unlike today Mum and Dad had no mobile phone, TV or PS3 that they could take away. Max.

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

Tony EH wrote: »

You see, this is the problem with this discussion. It starts out as a smack on the bum to stop a child you simply cannot reason with from running out into traffic...

...to that barbaric video above.

There is a world of difference to a smack on the arse, to instill a short sharp shock to a person that doesn't have the language skills or the mental agility to understand that playing in traffic, or sticking a fork into the toaster is a bad idea...

...and beating the **** out of a kid.

YOU might not be able to reason with it, doesn't mean no-one else is.

That video is out of place here, though. This thread is about parental discipline and the video is disciplinary nor or the thugs the kid's parents.

Da Shins Kelly

Ikky Poo2 wrote: »

I accept that, I'm just showing you the other side of the coin: but how to you use force to correct a child without giving them the message that it's an acceptable way of solving disagreement? No one has yet come up with an answer to that.

I'm always been baffled by this, because the whole point is to communicate discipline and correction, and not to just avoid doing harm. I've worked with kids, I've had grilfriends who have kids and lived with them for long periods of times, I've been a parent to all extents and purposes and I always managed to communicate with the kids. I've had to, because I can tell you, my relationships would have neded a lot faster if I ever struck a girlfriend's kid and some of them slapped the kids themselves.

Well, that's slightly different. Some people don't like other people slapping their children, and you weren't the parent.

As I said already, I was slapped as a last resort and it was explained to me why I had to be punished. It never went without communication. I've never taken a slap from my mother as a five year old as an acceptable way of solving an agreement. I've seen it as a way of punishing a small child that has repeatedly overstepped the line or has put themselves in danger.

bbam

We got slapped at home, hand, belt or even coat hanger depending on how severe my parents reckoned it was required... I personally never felt it was deserved.

I don't resent being disciplined harshly by my parents, times were different and all to often we look back and retrospectively apply current ideals to yesteryear..

We don't slap our children, wouldn't even think of it, It's just something to be consigned to history...

I was slapped/caned at school which I think was much worse..
If one of my daughters were slapped at school I'd loose the head completely :eek:

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

Da Shins Kelly wrote: »

Well, that's slightly different. Some people don't like other people slapping their children, and you weren't the parent.

As I said already, I was slapped as a last resort and it was explained to me why I had to be punished. It never went without communication. I've never taken a slap from my mother as a five year old as an acceptable way of solving an agreement. I've seen it as a way of punishing a small child that has repeatedly overstepped the line or has put themselves in danger.

So if it was "as a last resort", how should non-parents deal with, say a school or youth-club situation, where the parents are unlikley to be in attendance?

You can't say it's the only way and then forbid someone else to do it!

bryaner

ziggy23 wrote: »

Did anybody see this video doing the rounds?? It's quite upsetting so beware:mad::( That is pure and simple child abuse. My heart actually broke watching it.
http://www.worldstarhiphop.com/videos/video.php?v=wshh3BI4708zS3J35O86

Oh good jaysus I nearly puked my spuds up pure sick..

prinz

Ikky Poo2 wrote: »

You can't say it's the only way and then forbid someone else to do it!

Yes you can. There is plenty parents and guardians are entitled to do that others aren't. You can't put every single person into the same category.

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

prinz wrote: »

Yes you can. There is plenty parents and guardians are entitled to do that others aren't. You can't put every single person into the same category.

That's what I say, but then it's NOT the only way.

gsxr1

Trying to sneak back into the house after being out past 10pm.

Mother waiting behind the door. Just waiting .. like a sniper.

I tip toe in and BANG... Brush handle to the back of the head. Shouting , screaming and more beating. Thank god i was drunk.

fecking hell .

But I will tell ya one thing. I was in on time the net weekend.

prinz

Ikky Poo2 wrote: »

That's what I say, but then it's NOT the only way.

It's NOT the ONLY way, neither is it automatically abusive and resulting in messed up kids/adults.

There was a case in England or Scotland recently where a group of kids were bullying a boy on an on-going basis. One of the bullies followed the boy home, and kept up his bullying from the doorstep, then continued being abusive to the original victim's father, the father lost his head grabber the little scut by the scruff of the neck and marched him out of his garden. The father was later arrested and prosecuted for assault. Thank god the judge saw sense and threw the case out. Sounds like some people here think the father should have been convicted.

Link: http://news.stv.tv/scotland/tayside/278573-father-charged-with-assaulting-school-bully-he-grabbed-by-scruff-of-the-neck/

Liam Byrne

Chuck Stone wrote: »

Hitting children is fucking stupid.

No - I think that's usually what's done about 9 months before the child arrives.

There's no excuse for beating a child, but it's more abusive to bring up an undisciplined tearaway than the odd slap to bring them into line.

The fact that ignorance, ASBOs and a general lack of respect and decency has risen in inverse proportion to the amount of discipline permitted is not a coincidence.

Beating = absolute no.

But a few well-timed slaps - when well deserved - did me no harm whatsoever.

Lawrence1895

I think, my dad hit me once, I hit him back. All square, matters sorted. After that, we talked though things

thebullkf

PK2008 wrote: »

Be thankful it was your parents and not the Christian Brothers

not bad, only took 5 pages..

thebullkf

It wasn't me! wrote: »

Worked on me. I got a smack when I deserved it. Wakes some smartarse little brats right the fook up. It can work, therefore it can be an appropriate tool of parenting. Made me smarter, certainly. I always moderated my behaviour, making a judgement call. Following an evaluation, I either decided not to do whatever got me smacked again, or I made the judgement that it was worth it and changed my behaviour to reflect my new desire to not get caught again.

Great post.

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

prinz wrote: »

It's NOT the ONLY way, neither is it automatically abusive and resulting in messed up kids/adults.

Never said it was. Not the point I was making.

There was a case in England or Scotland recently where a group of kids were bullying a boy on an on-going basis. One of the bullies followed the boy home, and kept up his bullying from the doorstep, then continued being abusive to the original victim's father, the father lost his head grabber the little scut by the scruff of the neck and marched him out of his garden. The father was later arrested and prosecuted for assault. Thank god the judge saw sense and threw the case out. Sounds like some people here think the father should have been convicted.

Link: http://news.stv.tv/scotland/tayside/278573-father-charged-with-assaulting-school-bully-he-grabbed-by-scruff-of-the-neck/

Again, completely irrelevant to the point I was making.

You need to read back to the post I was replying to before you posted initially.

Johnny Foreigner

My Father was a violent and aggressive bully.
He beat my Mother and I as a child.
My Father had been beaten by his Father as a child and felt that made it acceptable.
I spent my childhood living in fear of my Father losing his temper.
This affected me.
I have never hit a woman or child in my life.
Hitting a child in any way is wrong.

Chuck Stone

Liam Byrne wrote: »

The fact that ignorance, ASBOs and a general lack of respect and decency has risen in inverse proportion to the amount of discipline permitted is not a coincidence.

I don't think one person in the entire thread has advocated not disciplining children.

It's the method of disciplining that people take issue with.

Liam Byrne wrote: »

But a few well-timed slaps - when well deserved - did me no harm whatsoever.

Slapping by its very nature is harmful. That's the point.

admiralofthefleet

the other thread kind of got me thinking

i recently became a father and have always been of the belief that i will never hit my children to discipline them. i would rather deal with them being unruly by talking to them sternly and taking away privelages

if i heard of even my childs grandparent hitting them i would lose it

opinions?

Thisnewseason

Everybody knows if you don't give them the odd slap they end up on supernanny

moco

When I have kids my parents will be well warned never to lay a hand on them. I don't think I'd need to tell them but just to get my stance out in the open so there can be no misunderstanding.

admiralofthefleet

Thisnewseason wrote: »

Everybody knows if you don't give them the odd slap they end up on supernanny

i hate that cunt by the way. she doesnt even have her own children

Hasmunch

I would "disipline" their face

Jumpy

admiralofthefleet wrote: »

i hate that cunt by the way. she doesnt even have her own children

That makes her better than you, not worse.

sh1tstirrer

admiralofthefleet wrote: »

the other thread kind of got me thinking

i recently became a father and have always been of the belief that i will never hit my children to discipline them. i would rather deal with them being unruly by talking to them sternly and taking away privelages

if i heard of even my childs grandparent hitting them i would lose it

opinions?

So you would hit your father/mother

Chuck Stone

I'd imagine non-immediate family slappage is very rare these days.

I'm against hitting children fwiw

partyatmygaff

sh1tstirrer wrote: »

So you would hit your grandma/grandpa

His child's grandparent is his own parent...

TaxationTheft

Gun. Face.

Rocky_Dennis

I don't have any kids of my own but I have slapped my nephew in the past.

He kicked me and I wouldn't tolerate that. His parents don't correct him and you might say it is not my place to correct the child but when he raises his foot to me, in my house, I will correct him, whether that is a slap on the hand or a telling off.

He needs to know that he cannot go around kicking people.

admiralofthefleet

sh1tstirrer wrote: »

So you would hit your father/mother

i didnt say that. i said i'd lose it, like ban them from ever seeing the child again

thebullkf

Chuck Stone wrote: »

I think I read somewhere that child sexual abusers have higher reported incidence of severe physical punishment when they were children.

nice way to slant it Chuck, not all punished children go on to punish others ffs, most abusers werethemselves abused, bot not all abused kids turn into abusers, there is a significant difference.

syklops

Chuck Stone wrote: »

I'm against hitting children fwiw

I never would have guessed.

sh1tstirrer

partyatmygaff wrote: »

His child's grandparent is his own parent...

You edited my post so you could write that :rolleyes:

fiinch

Andrewh1984 wrote: »

I don't have any kids of my own but I have slapped my nephew in the past.

He kicked me and I wouldn't tolerate that. His parents don't correct him and you might say it is not my place to correct the child but when he raises his foot to me, in my house, I will correct him, whether that is a slap on the hand or a telling off.

He needs to know that he cannot go around kicking people.

total hypocrasy. hitting a child for hitting you simply reinforces to them that it is a normal behaviour to react violently in order to punish someone. i can't get over how people don't understand that it is completely unnecessary to hit your child to instill the desired values in them. teach by example, not conflicting behaviours. the child doesn't learn not to hit, he simply fears the repercussions of hitting you. his little brother / sister will feel the brunt of it.

partyatmygaff

sh1tstirrer wrote: »

You edited my post so you could write that :rolleyes:

Seriously?

Stop lying. I'm not the only one who saw your post before you edited it.

Indubitable

partyatmygaff wrote: »

Seriously?

Stop lying. I'm not the only one who saw your post before you edited it.

His username reveals all.

Carlow52

moco wrote: »

When I have kids my parents will be well warned never to lay a hand on them. I don't think I'd need to tell them but just to get my stance out in the open so there can be no misunderstanding.

clearly not enough bata more in ur rearing

Morag

If I was present there is no way in hell a grandparent should be even giving mine a stern talking, to that's my job and they are not ever to hit/slap my kids. By all means tell them they are up shít creek once I get told about it but if I have left mine in the care of thier grandparents then I expect are to be taken and that includes never raising a hand foot or anything else to my child.

Chuck Stone

thebullkf wrote: »

nice way to slant it Chuck, not all punished children go on to punish others ffs, most abusers werethemselves abused, bot not all abused kids turn into abusers, there is a significant difference.

I agree. You're reading something in my post that isn't actually there.

Carlow52

admiralofthefleet wrote: »

the other thread kind of got me thinking

i recently became a father and have always been of the belief that i will never hit my children to discipline them. i would rather deal with them being unruly by talking to them sternly and taking away privelages

if i heard of even my childs grandparent hitting them i would lose it

opinions?

and

i didnt say that. i said i'd lose it, like ban them from ever seeing the child again

How pathetic.
Come back when the new born is 21 years old or so when you have been there and done that as opposed to this sort of asinine claptrap.

Carlow52

Sharrow wrote: »

If I was present there is no way in hell a grandparent should be even giving mine a stern talking, to that's my job and they are not ever to hit/slap my kids. By all means tell them they are up shít creek once I get told about it but if I have left mine in the care of thier grandparents then I expect are to be taken and that includes never raising a hand foot or anything else to my child.

The reality is that in the vast majority of cases the kids like being with the GP's and its the paranoid parents are the problem.

By all means tell them they are up shít creek once I get told about it

this might work in arsebook type discussions and the like but no GP is going to threaten a grandchild with the parent's retribution.

Johnny Foreigner

I would give the Gardai their name and address and tell them they had assaulted my child.

Liam Byrne

Chuck Stone wrote: »

Liam Byrne wrote: »

But a few well-timed slaps - when well deserved - did me no harm whatsoever.

Slapping by its very nature is harmful. That's the point.

I disagree. As I clearly stated, it did me no harm whatsoever.

Liam Byrne

Johnny Foreigner wrote: »

I would give the Gardai their name and address and tell them they had assaulted my child.

I would hope you'd have the decency to do the equivalent if your child assaulted them ? Or would you make excuses that he barely touched them / what's the fuss about / kids will be kids / etc, etc ?

bryaner

It wasn't me! wrote: »

Worked on me. I got a smack when I deserved it. Wakes some smartarse little brats right the fook up. It can work, therefore it can be an appropriate tool of parenting. Made me smarter, certainly. I always moderated my behaviour, making a judgement call. Following an evaluation, I either decided not to do whatever got me smacked again, or I made the judgement that it was worth it and changed my behaviour to reflect my new desire to not get caught again.

I understand what your saying and yes the odd smack when seriously out of line probably does no harm, but getting thumped and kicked to the point of black eyes and split lips that you try and hide from friends and family is just pure out of order imo..