Did you get hit by your parents?

Jesus Wept

inagoodway wrote: »

i grew up in the eighties and it was normal then to get beaten, not with a closed fist, but with an open hand or a belt,

it surely helped keep me out of more serious trouble,

but in the year 2012 i find reverse psychology and normal psychology is a better way to discipline children, or to show them the way, as it were.

The 1880's? I grew up in the 1980's and it wasn't 'normal'.

Hank Scorpio

nothing more than the tip of a wood spoon, if even that!

The only one that really sticks out is a time I got hit with a baseball cap a good few times, didn't hurt but it felt really violent, I totally deserved it for what I had done ( My Da copped me at my sisters piggybank/money box with a not so close friend in the house so it was obvious what we were up to ) and I believe it made me into a better person ( Found handbags/wallets etc since my childhood, always handed them in )

My best friends father from childhood used to give him a good few kicks and diggs now and again, alot more than mine did. He turned out a very straight trustworthy person, one of few people I'd still completley trust even though we had a falling out years and years ago.

So yeah, I don't think it should be illegal to smack your Children now and again ( very seldomly! when needed ) to set them straight from my experience

inagoodway

The-Rigger wrote: »

The 1880's? I grew up in the 1980's and it wasn't 'normal'.

ya the 1980's, i should have said it was normal in my house, not your house (sorry)
any way i was the oldest boy and i would rather at that time that i got flaked rather than any of the girls or the younger brother, besides i used to laugh in his face:D

looking back at it my poor oul fella was stressed out with six hungry mouths to feed, etc.

but that feels like a million years ago,

today psychology is the way

Sindri

I was disciplined you could say when I was very young quite a bit and after a while I would just go down to my dad and tell him what I done and he'd say your grounded, this is like 3 to 5 or 6 years old. I was a naughty child.

Any time I was slapped it wasn't a thrashing just anger from my father who could erupt under stress.

My mother beat me as well before. She slapped me a good but, but this was when I was like 9 or 10 and she was being a silly bint, (she is incredibly stupid), she stopped the car in the middle of the road, nearly causing an accident and hopped in the back and started slapping the head off of me.

The slappings, while traumatic at the time, as they would be, what did me worse was a lack of a stable and consistent authority, and by this I mean simply a consistency in authority and in life, a consistent barrier and world in which I could settle into a homoeostasis.

That's what children want and crave, consistency. And it does them a world of good.

travelledpengy

Never got hit luckily, Once I got man handled by my father when he taught I hit my Mother! The strength of him put me off the taught of doing something that would warrant a slap..

IvySlayer

Got a few slaps, only when I deserved it though.

Don't resent them for it.

Kosseegan

vixen chaser wrote: »

Ireland has become a complete joke. Parents giving their kids a good wallop has become a taboo subject. .

It is terrible here. Canes have to be brought from India. Not long ago canes could be bought in shops in Ireland.

vixen chaser

Ikky Poo2 wrote: »

Sorry for being the grammar Nazi .

When you say these kids were not smacked, do you mean not dsiciplined at all or not smacked? If they were, what dsicplinary methods do their parents use and why dont they work?

I ask because you seem to be making a direct connection between not smacking and unruly behaviour, as if a child is incapable of good behaviour unless smacked.

Also, how do you explain the fact that in countries that have banned smacking, they manage to bring up moral-abiding children anyway?

I know Parents that use alternative methods of disciplining, and their Kids are total and utter brats. They insult people that come in to the house, and spend most of their day argueing with their parents/caregivers etc. If I wasn't anything but respectful to visitors of my house as a young lad I knew about it.
I hope you are not talking about the Swedish. I worked their for three years, just after graduating, and I was in a relationship with a native girl. The worst relationship, I was ever in, a complete self absorbed brat, even in her 20's. She expcted everything to be handed to her in a plate, and smackind was outlawed before she was born. The young people in general there are extremely arrogant. The older generation who made the country what it is today are decent people, and they themselves will tell you that the smacking ban was a bad decision, that left parents in the lurch. Same thing that I fear will and is already happening, and that is Parents will be in fear of their children.

stovelid

This thread is making me to dole out a paddling for minor childhood infractions.

4zn76tysfajdxp

stovelid wrote: »

This thread is making me to dole out a paddling for minor childhood infractions.

If you're squeemish I'll come 'round and beat your kids for you. No charge.

Abi

The-Rigger wrote: »

The 1880's? I grew up in the 1980's and it wasn't 'normal'.

Ill tempered parenting is what that was / is.


It only serves to pass down the notion that violence or physical punishment is the way to get listened to, not really the offense in itself.

Breathe slowly, spend some time explaining why something is wrong. Confiscate something that means a lot to them and why you have to do it. There is no need, nor is it legal to physically punish your child in this country any more.

It is a shame however, that those that enforce this rule can take months or even years to deal with a report. It's just mind boggling.

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

vixen chaser wrote: »

I know Parents that use alternative methods of disciplining, and their Kids are total and utter brats. They insult people that come in to the house, and spend most of their day argueing with their parents/caregivers etc. If I wasn't anything but respectful to visitors of my house as a young lad I knew about it.
I hope you are not talking about the Swedish. I worked their for three years, just after graduating, and I was in a relationship with a native girl. The worst relationship, I was ever in, a complete self absorbed brat, even in her 20's. She expcted everything to be handed to her in a plate, and smackind was outlawed before she was born. The young people in general there are extremely arrogant. The older generation who made the country what it is today are decent people, and they themselves will tell you that the smacking ban was a bad decision, that left parents in the lurch. Same thing that I fear will and is already happening, and that is Parents will be in fear of their children.

Sorry, but there's a lot of bull**** there and assumption. You are ssuming that your friends kids are rude because of the parents disciplinary methods. What discipline forms do they use and why does this not work? You are also assuming that kids who are nto smacked will automatically become unruly. Plenty of experience aroudn to suggest that this is bull****.

Also bull**** is your view of Sweden. I've lived there and know parents there and they, as a country, are very proud of the anti-smacking ban and value their kids much mor than we do. They simply put a much stronger emphasis on communication with their kids. I've worked in schools there and in Denmark and yes, you do get a few bad apples as you do in any society, by and large they are just as resepctful as kids in any country, if not more so, becaue they are much better at communicating. (Although I also put that down to less American cultrual influencees as well.)

Check out the table on page 17 of this document and you'll see a regual decline in positve attitudes from 50% down to 10% over the last fifty years. It also states that less than 50% of parents smacked their kids even before Sweden banned it. Doesn't sound like the think it was a bad decision to me.

vixen chaser

Ikky Poo2 wrote: »

Sorry, but there's a lot of bull**** there and assumption. You are ssuming that your friends kids are rude because of the parents disciplinary methods. What discipline forms do they use and why does this not work? You are also assuming that kids who are nto smacked will automatically become unruly. Plenty of experience aroudn to suggest that this is bull****.

Also bull**** is your view of Sweden. I've lived there and know parents there and they, as a country, are very proud of the anti-smacking ban and value their kids much mor than we do. They simply put a much stronger emphasis on communication with their kids. I've worked in schools there and in Denmark and yes, you do get a few bad apples as you do in any society, by and large they are just as resepctful as kids in any country, if not more so, becaue they are much better at communicating. (Although I also put that down to less American cultrual influencees as well.)

Check out the table on page 17 of this document and you'll see a regual decline in positve attitudes from 50% down to 10% over the last fifty years. It also states that less than 50% of parents smacked their kids even before Sweden banned it. Doesn't sound like the think it was a bad decision to me.

Really, you spent time there too, what year, who was in Government at the time?, That link is obviously biased as it's Author is clearly an anti smacker. When I was there, I met plenty of people who thought that the ban was pathetic. Don't be fooled because people still do smack their children in Sweden, and kids will not rrun and tell, incase the social services get involved.

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

vixen chaser wrote: »

Really, you spent time there too, what year, who was in Government at the time?, That link is obviously biased as it's Author is clearly an anti smacker. When I was there, I met plenty of people who thought that the ban was pathetic. Don't be fooled because people still do smack their children in Sweden, and kids will not rrun and tell, incase the social services get involved.

I was there between 1999 and 2002. Stockholm and Jutland. Didn't get into politics, so no idea who was in power. I'm agree with you that smacking did happen, but very rarely. Whoever wrote the articel did not make up the facts I pointed out.

Trust me on this - Swedes are pretty proud of their laws. To say otherwise is farsical.

Kev.OC

As a kid, my parents discovered I responded significantly better to praise for good behaviour than punishment for bad behaviour. So they made sure they were always on the same plane when it came to raising me, and were very consistent. I agree with what others have said here, that consistency is key.

When it comes to discipline, I have nothing against a slap, on a rare occasion. I got one. Just a single slap across the arse/back of the legs, not sure which. Think I was around 8 or 9 at the time. Can't remember for the life of me what it was for. But the main thing I remember was the shock of it.

I have a great relationship with my parents. As I said, only once was a hand raised to me. Perhaps I deserved it. Perhaps, like some people are suggesting, it was an action driven purely by frustration. But after the incident, I was told why it happened, so I knew the punishment was linked to my behaviour. I also knew that if I misbehaved again my parents were willing to follow through on any "threats", for lack of a better word, which was enough to keep me in line.

If I have kids some day down the road, I'd like to think I could raise them to be decent people without ever having to raise a hand to them. But if on a very rare occasion I did need to give them a little clip to get their attention and get them to settle down, I reserve the right to do just that. And I'd like to think my parenting wouldn't be called into question for doing so.

Kosseegan

Sunday Times, London, 4 November 2007

African cane tames unruly British pupils

By Tristan McConnell
Accra
Scores of British school children are being sent away to take their GCSEs in Ghana, exchanging truancy and gang culture for traditional teaching and strong discipline, including the cane. "When I was in London I was bad basically," said Abena, 16, from Hackney, east London, with braces on her teeth and a swagger in her step.
"I stopped going to school and in my head I was, like, thinking money, money, money."
Dispatched to Africa, far from the world of gangs, theft and knife crime, she found herself at the Faith Montessori boarding school in Accra, Ghana's capital, where the fees are £1,200 a year.
Most of the school's expatriate children spend holidays with relatives or guardians in Ghana, returning to Britain once a year. During term time they live in dormitories 10 to a room.
For the parents it is a chance to save their children from the thuggery that has seen 21 teenagers shot or stabbed to death in London alone this year. Abena and three other British pupils at her school now believe they are receiving a rigorous education that was lacking in Britain.
"When your friends know that you've gone to Ghana they know that you're going to get straightened up," said Sienam, 17, from Edgware, north London, who has been at school in Accra for three years.
"I used to be really bad," he said, muttering about gangs and the kind of playground violence that he has put behind him. "When my friends in London see that I've changed it wakes them up a little bit. I get respect but in a different way."
According to Oswald Amoo-Gottfried, the school's founder and director, the key to the success of pupils such as Sienam is the kind of discipline that has long since fallen out of fashion in Britain. "I believe in caning," he declared. "I tell the parents: if you don't want your child punished, then your child doesn't belong here."
His school is quiet, the atmosphere studious. The youngest children sit in neat sailor suits; older pupils wear blue shorts and white shirts, while the senior students dress in smart trousers and T-shirts emblazoned with the school badge.
In one classroom 30 pupils are arranged in rows of desks facing their male teacher and the white board. They remain silent until asked a question.
Amoo-Gottfried is a friendly faced disciplinarian who has seen more than 20 London children of African parentage pass through his school in the past five years.
"Children must be taught. You don't sit down and discuss directions with a child -- you tell them where to go," he said. Children are beaten for misbehaving or failing to do home-work, but not for poor results.
Sienam admitted that he had been caned "many, many times" by his teachers in Ghana. "Any time you do something you know you shouldn't do or step out of line, you get caned," he said. The cane "works to some extent", he conceded.
Isaac, 17, from Norwood, in southeast London, said he became involved in gangs and stealing before his parents sent him to Ghana. After four years at school in Accra he is softly spoken and articulate and hopes to sit international GCSEs at the end of this academic year before returning to Britain for A-levels.
When they first arrive the teen-agers are often "a lot wilder", said Amoo-Gottfried, but with time and discipline they become "domesticated". He puts the troubles of the British pupils down to a lack of good role models - a reason many West Indian families cite for sending their children to school back home.
"In London father has run off to work early in the morning, mother the same. So you find the children left to themselves and, as they say, the devil finds work for idle hands. Here they see professional people -- lawyers, doctors -- whereas in the UK most of the Ghanaians are blue-collar workers."
The list of consistent A, B and C grades on a results sheet pinned to the notice board is a source of pride and several of Amoo-Gottfried's former pupils are now at British universities.
Michelle Asante, 23, attended Archbishop Porter girls' school in Takoradi, Ghana, and went on to complete a sociology degree at Sheffield University before going to drama school.
"The school I was attending in Plumstead [southeast London] wasn't great and my mum felt I wasn't being challenged. There was a lot of fighting," said Asante, who is now an actress. "Education is so important in Ghana -- people take it as their only means of escaping poverty. With education you can do anything, no matter how poor you are."
The pupils at Faith Montessori agree discipline in Africa can be tough but also see their lives changing for the better. Abena and "the London boys", which includes James, 16, from Edmonton Green, north London, also admit that while they are benefiting from a Ghanaian education, they miss home and look forward to going back to A-levels and university. The years of mischief are behind them, Isaac said: "What gets you respect over there is disgrace over here."
Additional reporting: Sara Hashash


Caning does work and Irish parents should not be afraid to do it.

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

Kosseegan wrote: »

Sunday Times, London, 4 November 2007

African cane tames unruly British pupils

By Tristan McConnell
Accra
Scores of British school children are being sent away to take their GCSEs in Ghana, exchanging truancy and gang culture for traditional teaching and strong discipline, including the cane. "When I was in London I was bad basically," said Abena, 16, from Hackney, east London, with braces on her teeth and a swagger in her step.
"I stopped going to school and in my head I was, like, thinking money, money, money."
Dispatched to Africa, far from the world of gangs, theft and knife crime, she found herself at the Faith Montessori boarding school in Accra, Ghana's capital, where the fees are £1,200 a year.
Most of the school's expatriate children spend holidays with relatives or guardians in Ghana, returning to Britain once a year. During term time they live in dormitories 10 to a room.
For the parents it is a chance to save their children from the thuggery that has seen 21 teenagers shot or stabbed to death in London alone this year. Abena and three other British pupils at her school now believe they are receiving a rigorous education that was lacking in Britain.
"When your friends know that you've gone to Ghana they know that you're going to get straightened up," said Sienam, 17, from Edgware, north London, who has been at school in Accra for three years.
"I used to be really bad," he said, muttering about gangs and the kind of playground violence that he has put behind him. "When my friends in London see that I've changed it wakes them up a little bit. I get respect but in a different way."
According to Oswald Amoo-Gottfried, the school's founder and director, the key to the success of pupils such as Sienam is the kind of discipline that has long since fallen out of fashion in Britain. "I believe in caning," he declared. "I tell the parents: if you don't want your child punished, then your child doesn't belong here."
His school is quiet, the atmosphere studious. The youngest children sit in neat sailor suits; older pupils wear blue shorts and white shirts, while the senior students dress in smart trousers and T-shirts emblazoned with the school badge.
In one classroom 30 pupils are arranged in rows of desks facing their male teacher and the white board. They remain silent until asked a question.
Amoo-Gottfried is a friendly faced disciplinarian who has seen more than 20 London children of African parentage pass through his school in the past five years.
"Children must be taught. You don't sit down and discuss directions with a child -- you tell them where to go," he said. Children are beaten for misbehaving or failing to do home-work, but not for poor results.
Sienam admitted that he had been caned "many, many times" by his teachers in Ghana. "Any time you do something you know you shouldn't do or step out of line, you get caned," he said. The cane "works to some extent", he conceded.
Isaac, 17, from Norwood, in southeast London, said he became involved in gangs and stealing before his parents sent him to Ghana. After four years at school in Accra he is softly spoken and articulate and hopes to sit international GCSEs at the end of this academic year before returning to Britain for A-levels.
When they first arrive the teen-agers are often "a lot wilder", said Amoo-Gottfried, but with time and discipline they become "domesticated". He puts the troubles of the British pupils down to a lack of good role models - a reason many West Indian families cite for sending their children to school back home.
"In London father has run off to work early in the morning, mother the same. So you find the children left to themselves and, as they say, the devil finds work for idle hands. Here they see professional people -- lawyers, doctors -- whereas in the UK most of the Ghanaians are blue-collar workers."
The list of consistent A, B and C grades on a results sheet pinned to the notice board is a source of pride and several of Amoo-Gottfried's former pupils are now at British universities.
Michelle Asante, 23, attended Archbishop Porter girls' school in Takoradi, Ghana, and went on to complete a sociology degree at Sheffield University before going to drama school.
"The school I was attending in Plumstead [southeast London] wasn't great and my mum felt I wasn't being challenged. There was a lot of fighting," said Asante, who is now an actress. "Education is so important in Ghana -- people take it as their only means of escaping poverty. With education you can do anything, no matter how poor you are."
The pupils at Faith Montessori agree discipline in Africa can be tough but also see their lives changing for the better. Abena and "the London boys", which includes James, 16, from Edmonton Green, north London, also admit that while they are benefiting from a Ghanaian education, they miss home and look forward to going back to A-levels and university. The years of mischief are behind them, Isaac said: "What gets you respect over there is disgrace over here."
Additional reporting: Sara Hashash


Caning does work and Irish parents should not be afraid to do it.

What happens when I get my hands on the cane and use it on a teacher? Because that's what would have happened.

Again: I want my kids growing up doing right because they know they are capable of making moral decisions, not because they're scared.

vixen chaser

Ikky Poo2 wrote: »

What happens when I get my hands on the cane and use it on a teacher? Because that's what would have happened.

Again: I want my kids growing up doing right because they know they are capable of making moral decisions, not because they're scared.

In fairness, being afraid of authority is all part of growing up. Kids need to fear the person in authority. If there were to be no fear, Kids would do what they wanted, and they are bad enough with only a little fear, not to mind none at all. Besides, they are only human. Forget about adults obeying the law because of fear, the main thing is that they obey it. Some laws are utterly stupid, and make no sense, but we obey them because we would be be in trouble otherwise, and we are law abiding citizens.Teachers are at the end of their tether because parents are not keeping their kids inline, and bringing their bratiness in to the class room. Now in fairness some parents would love to keep their kids in line, but the over liberal socity that kids enjoy today doesn't allow them to.

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

vixen chaser wrote: »

In fairness, being afraid of authority is all part of growing up. Kids need to fear the person in authority. If there were to be no fear, Kids would do what they wanted, and they are bad enough with only a little fear, not to mind none at all. Besides, they are only human. Forget about adults obeying the law because of fear, the main thing is that they obey it. Some laws are utterly stupid, and make no sense, but we obey them because we would be be in trouble otherwise, and we are law abiding citizens.Teachers are at the end of their tether because parents are not keeping their kids inline, and bringing their bratiness in to the class room. Now in fairness some parents would love to keep their kids in line, but the over liberal socity that kids enjoy today doesn't allow them to.

There's a dofference between respect and fear.

Really? I'm not that scared. Never have been. I respect the law, even if I don't agree with it. I don't break it because breaking it usually hurts peeople.

Kids need to be brought up with respect - and I'm talking genuine respect here, not the foreced water-down pretend respect you might get because of fear.

And the lines about teachers being at the end of their tether and a liberal soceity we live in being to blame (what liberal society?! You should TRY a liberal society!) are as much bull**** as the line that Swedes are ashamed of their smasking ban. Stop making **** up aunder the assumption that I won't notice.

Paddy Cow

vixen chaser wrote: »

In fairness, being afraid of authority is all part of growing up. Kids need to fear the person in authority. If there were to be no fear, Kids would do what they wanted, and they are bad enough with only a little fear, not to mind none at all. Besides, they are only human.

It's better to teach them to respect authority than to fear it. Doing what you are told because you fear authority can lead to built up resentment and anger issues. I was hit as a kid and I had no respect whatsoever for the people who hit me. The person I respected most as a child was my uncle who never so much as even shouted at me.

Forget about adults obeying the law because of fear, the main thing is that they obey it. Some laws are utterly stupid, and make no sense, but we obey them because we would be be in trouble otherwise, and we are law abiding citizens.

I don't obey the law because I fear it, I obey it because I chose to as a responsible adult. It is possible to have good judgement and want to be a productive member of society without fear of getting into trouble.

Teachers are at the end of their tether because parents are not keeping their kids inline, and bringing their bratiness in to the class room. Now in fairness some parents would love to keep their kids in line, but the over liberal socity that kids enjoy today doesn't allow them to.

Teachers are at the end of their tether because some parents (including those who smack their kids) can't be bothered to take an active role in their kids education and use school as unpaid babysitting. If parents can't be bothered to make their kids sit down and concentrate on their homework, what chance do teachers have? Some parents go so far as to undermine what little power teachers have. I've known of parents who stopped their kids from being kept back in detention as it interferred with plans they had already made. What on earth can teachers do against that attitude?

Paddy Cow

vixen chaser wrote: »

In fairness, being afraid of authority is all part of growing up. Kids need to fear the person in authority. If there were to be no fear, Kids would do what they wanted, and they are bad enough with only a little fear, not to mind none at all. Besides, they are only human.

It's better to teach them to respect authority than to fear it. Doing what you are told because you fear authority can lead to built up resentment and anger issues. I was hit as a kid and I had no respect whatsoever for the people who hit me. The person I respected most as a child was my uncle who never so much as even shouted at me.

Forget about adults obeying the law because of fear, the main thing is that they obey it. Some laws are utterly stupid, and make no sense, but we obey them because we would be be in trouble otherwise, and we are law abiding citizens.

I don't obey the law because I fear it, I obey it because I chose to as a responsible adult. It is possible to have good judgement and want to be a productive member of society without fear of getting into trouble.

Teachers are at the end of their tether because parents are not keeping their kids inline, and bringing their bratiness in to the class room. Now in fairness some parents would love to keep their kids in line, but the over liberal socity that kids enjoy today doesn't allow them to.

Teachers are at the end of their tether because some parents (including those who smack their kids) can't be arsed to take an active role in their kids education and use school as unpaid babysitting. If parents can't be bothered to make their kids sit down and concentrate on their homework, what chance do teachers have? Some parents go so far as to undermine what little power teachers have. I've known of parents who stopped their kids from being kept back in detention as it interferred with plans they had already made. What on earth can teachers do against that attitude?

vixen chaser

Paddy Cow wrote: »

It's better to teach them to respect authority than to fear it. Doing what you are told because you fear authority can lead to built up resentment and anger issues. I was hit as a kid and I had no respect whatsoever for the people who hit me. The person I respected most as a child was my uncle who never so much as even shouted at me.


I don't obey the law because I fear it, I obey it because I chose to as a responsible adult. It is possible to have good judgement and want to be a productive member of society without fear of getting into trouble.


Teachers are at the end of their tether because some parents (including those who smack their kids) can't be arsed to take an active role in their kids education and use school as unpaid babysitting. If parents can't be bothered to make their kids sit down and concentrate on their homework, what chance do teachers have? Some parents go so far as to undermine what little power teachers have. I've known of parents who stopped their kids from being kept back in detention as it interferred with plans they had already made. What on earth can teachers do against that attitude?

What I am trying to say is that kids need to be in fear, or else they will run wild doing what ever they want or hurting who they want. I obey the law firstly because I respect the law, I have morals. I would never break in to an old womans house and rob and assualt her, or throw eggs at a womans house because she slapped me when I was a kid. But I also fear the punishment of a crime, an example of a crime that no one gets hurt.

Chuck Stone

Die thread DIE!

vixen chaser

Ikky Poo2 wrote: »

There's a dofference between respect and fear.

Really? I'm not that scared. Never have been. I respect the law, even if I don't agree with it. I don't break it because breaking it usually hurts peeople.

Kids need to be brought up with respect - and I'm talking genuine respect here, not the foreced water-down pretend respect you might get because of fear.

And the lines about teachers being at the end of their tether and a liberal soceity we live in being to blame (what liberal society?! You should TRY a liberal society!) are as much bull**** as the line that Swedes are ashamed of their smasking ban. Stop making **** up aunder the assumption that I won't notice.

Whatever girl, you haven't a clue about Swedish society. Speak to anyone there from 50 on, and listen to them. That's the problem, they are brought up with no respect whats so ever.

KittyeeTrix

My mam was handy with the physical discipline when I was younger.... I grew up with both a fear of getting disciplined and a respect for her and other adults..
I don't hate her or look back with any resentment but that's me.:)

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

vixen chaser wrote: »

What I am trying to say is that kids need to be in fear, or else they will run wild doing what ever they want or hurting who they want. I obey the law firstly because I respect the law, I have morals. I would never break in to an old womans house and rob and assualt her, or throw eggs at a womans house because she slapped me when I was a kid. But I also fear the punishment of a crime, an example of a crime that no one gets hurt.

More rubbish. Sorry, but I live in and have lived in socities where kids aren't smacked and they work. Kids need to know consequences, yes, but that's different from saying the need to live in fear.

Think about it: how are you going to instill a creative, productive society, when your yongest generation live in fear?

Chuck Stone wrote: »

Die thread DIE!

You started it!!

vixen chaser wrote: »

Whatever girl, you haven't a clue about Swedish society. Speak to anyone there from 50 on, and listen to them. That's the problem, they are brought up with no respect whats so ever.

Firstly, i'm a guy.

Secondly I have done; and your account is still rubbish. I have shown this with statistical eveidencw and also know it from personal experience. Germany is the same, and I've been her four years. Your hypothesis is so incorrect and speaks of someone who merely believes that what that think would happen, not what actually does happen, that I don't believe you are experienced in Swedish culture or customs. I know I can't prove this, but your arguent is just THAT inaccurate.

Thirdly, no. Kids in non-smacking societies that I have lived in are very respectful.

The falicies in your idea that non-smacking AUTOMATICALLY leads to disrespectful kids is, once again, throughly discredited.

Paddy Cow

Ikky Poo2 wrote: »

Think about it: how are you going to instill a creative, productive society, when your yongest generation live in fear?

See China for how that works out :pac:

margio

I have nothing against a parent giving a child a smack, but come on caining. Even I didn't get that in school. This thread is really dragging on

Paddy Cow

vixen chaser wrote: »

What I am trying to say is that kids need to be in fear, or else they will run wild doing what ever they want or hurting who they want. I obey the law firstly because I respect the law, I have morals. I would never break in to an old womans house and rob and assualt her, or throw eggs at a womans house because she slapped me when I was a kid. But I also fear the punishment of a crime, an example of a crime that no one gets hurt.

Kids don't need to be in fear. Some parents need to use fear as a method of controlling their kids which is a different matter. What kids need is boundaries and consistent discipline from their parents when they step outside those boundaries. That is what they need to learn - responsibilities and respect, not submission out of fear. Is it any wonder Ireland has a reputation for having an inferior complex? We were thought never to question authority and just do as you are told or else...... I think kids should be thought to question authority in a respectful manner and maybe we'll end up raising a generation who won't bend over and take it when the government screws them over but that's a topic for another thread.

Plenty of kids get slapped and still run wild. It's kids whose parents don't discipline them in any manner or who don't take a real interest in them who go off the rails, not kids who haven't been slapped.

Abi

Kosseegan wrote: »

,
Caning does work and Irish parents should not be afraid to do it.

I hope you don't have kids and never do. I'd take great pleasure in reporting you.

Its a sh1t parent that lets a cane do the 'parenting' for them. Ill-tempered bastards.

lividduck

Abi wrote: »

I hope you don't have kids and never do. I'd take great pleasure in reporting you.

Its a sh1t parent that lets a cane do the 'parenting' for them. Ill-tempered bastards.

Hi Abi,
Sorry you think my parents were "****" I dont nor do my siblings.
I find the post singularly intolerant.
Parenting is a skill influenced by the prevailing ideas of the times, the society in which we live, our cultural and often religious background, and the laws of the state. Spare the rod, spoil the child was a common adage in my childhood, and is still a widely held belief today amongst a significant group of parents (see UK and US surveys).

Paddy Cow

lividduck wrote: »

Hi Abi,
Sorry you think my parents were "****" I dont nor do my siblings.
I find the post singularly intolerant.
Parenting is a skill influenced by the prevailing ideas of the times, the society in which we live, our cultural and often religious background, and the laws of the state. Spare the rod, spoil the child was a common adage in my childhood, and is still a widely held belief today amongst a significant group of parents (see UK and US surveys).

Because she'd report someone for caneing their kids?

Viral Vector

Yes with the wooden spoon...naughty naughty!

Abi

lividduck wrote: »

Parenting is a skill influenced by the prevailing ideas of the times

I'm quite aware of what would have been acceptable in the past, but caning in this day and age is not.

vixen chaser

I think physical punishment is good if used calmly and without verbal abuse. My Dad belted us with his Hand or occasionally with his belt(which I thoroughly deserved), and in doing so would always tell me why I was getting the belts. It would usually be 7 to 10 slaps across my rear or lega when I was younger. yes the hurt but that was the point of it. As I got older from 9 or 10 up he would give me a clip around the ear, only one or two and if I really did something bad I would get his belt. But he always explained why. He i my Dad and he taught me right from wrong and is a very good man. On the other hand my friend's father used to clatter her and even kick her, bu as he was doing it he would be effing and blinding her. Once when I was at her house we were playing football and her brother his the window with the football. The pric came out effing and blinding and bating and kicking any of the family in sight even the cat got in the way was kicked across the yard. He also gave me a slap. I went home and told my Dad, who I found out after floored him in the pub a few nights after. That in my eyes was coward bating his kids out of pure loss of temper. His Kids are fighting every Saturday night and hauled away in squad cars outside the chippers. They'd cross the road for a fight. But my point is after that ramble is my Dad physically disciplined me without verbally abusing me. When I got a spanking/belting I knew exactly why.I love him, and I would love to raise my kids the same way, but times have changed, and for the worse I believe. Some one mentioned earlier that they got a belting after stealing their sisters money and now they hand in money every time they find it, Well I'm now the same. Once I found 20 pounds in my local village and I spent in on sweets. When my sis mentioned I spent it I Got a a few strokes of the belt because I sisn't hand it in to the parish priest to announce over the alter. In the early 90's 20 pound was a nice little sum and somebody probably worked hard for that, It would be like 100 euro today. Last year during a weekend away I found a wallet full of serious cash and cards, and I went to the Garda station straight away. It's all about how the child turns out, that's the main thing.

Kosseegan

Kosseegan wrote: »

Sunday Times, London, 4 November 2007

African cane tames unruly British pupils

By Tristan McConnell
Accra

Channel4 had a series on about 20 years ago about a mixed couple in London who went to live in the fathers ancestral village in South Africa, they went with the children to "live like the locals" with a fly on the wall camera crew.

The children went to the local school, in the space of about five minutes the teacher had caned nearly a third of the class of about 50 children.

Most of the time it was for "by our standards" very trivial faults.

Lone Stone

I did, but i was a little bastard.

But i turned out fine, just a bit mentally unstable tehehehehe.

Kosseegan

Abi wrote: »

I hope you don't have kids and never do. I'd take great pleasure in reporting you.

Its a sh1t parent that lets a cane do the 'parenting' for them. Ill-tempered bastards.

I use my cane on my kids as required. You will not report me. It is a poor par4ent who does not care if their kids are disciplined properly. Caning is a great cure for laziness. No untidy rooms in my house!

stimpson

I think he's a troll who doesn't have kids...

http://www.gaire.com/e/p/profile.asp?id=50024

Reamer Fanny

stimpson wrote: »

I think he's a troll who doesn't have kids...

http://www.gaire.com/e/p/profile.asp?id=50024

Oh snap

Abi

stimpson wrote: »

I think he's a troll who doesn't have kids...

http://www.gaire.com/e/p/profile.asp?id=50024

Lawl. Unusual doesn't cover it.

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

stimpson wrote: »

I think he's a troll who doesn't have kids...

http://www.gaire.com/e/p/profile.asp?id=50024

It's a rereg. Posted worse **** in the parenting forum. Knew I recognised the name from somewhere.

EDIT - No, this is the original account. S secodn one got banned.

lividduck

Regardless of Kossegans status, the arguement in favour of caning is not negated because he is or isn't real.

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

lividduck wrote: »

Regardless of Kossegans status, the arguement in favour of caning is not negated because he is or isn't real.

It's negated for a whole nunch of other reasons, chief amongst them being that it's physical child abuse.

lividduck

Ikky Poo2 wrote: »

It's negated for a whole nunch of other reasons, chief amongst them being that it's physical child abuse.

In your opinion.
Then again opinions, as they say, are like assholes, everyone has one!

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

lividduck wrote: »

In your opinion.
Then again opinions, as they say, are like assholes, everyone has one!

Well, in my opinion, child porn is also abusive...

lividduck

Ikky Poo2 wrote: »

Well, in my opinion, child porn is also abusive...

In mne too, so we agree on something. But child porn has feck all to do with discipline.

Abi

Ikky, you have to starve it of attention. It will eventually fcuk off.

lividduck

Abi wrote: »

Ikky, you have to starve it of attention. It will eventually fcuk off.

It? So by dis agreeing I become an it?
Personal abuse is the last refuge of those who cannot accept a challenge to their percieved infallability. Boy must you feel infallible.

Abi

lividduck wrote: »

Boy must you feel infallible.

It does get pretty tiring alright. I've no intention of feeding "it" either, sorry.