Did you get hit by your parents?

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

Gonzor wrote: »

I got battered by the parents :L I always deserved it though. Hitting just didnt work much for me. When they hit me for doing something bad Id go straight back out and do it again just because I was stubborn like that.

Bingo.

I know it might not be your standing on the issue, but I love the argument "I was always in trouble" and "it never did me any harm".

Wether you deserved it or not, it should at least stop you from doing it again.

stovelid

I actually know somebody that swears by not punishing at all but just reinforcing good behaviour.

So no smacking, time out, treat depriving, shouting etc.

Don't see them often enough to judge how successful it is.

Couldn't see it working with my boys to be fair but maybe it depends on the kid.

later12

I think the only time I ever got smacked was by my mother. I was about 6 years old. It was so shocking and humiliating (it happened in front of about 20 people at The Swiss Family Tree attraction in Eurodisney) that seems to have left a distinctive impression on me.

After that day, even the slightest hint of a smack was enough to have me whimpering in dread.

As a child my Dad would ask us to hold our hands out, as if to be smacked, whenever we were bold. After telling us off, while we stood there, hands outstretched, waiting for the smack, he never actually followed through with one. But it was the dread of it that made it so much worse.

I think I will follow a similar disciplining method with my children.

Shane-KornSpace

yes. one day when i was 11, i lost it, and thumped by dad in the head. only made things alot worse =\

charlemont

A lot of people on here don't know what they are talking about, But then that's not surprising either, If people think its ok for parents to humiliate and beat their children just for daring to actually think different or refusing to be the person they want you to be than that is scandalous thinking, No wonder this country is full of sheep.

kylith

charlemont wrote: »

A lot of people on here don't know what they are talking about, But then that's not surprising either, If people think its ok for parents to humiliate and beat their children just for daring to actually think different or refusing to be the person they want you to be than that is scandalous thinking, No wonder this country is full of sheep.

I don't think I've seen anybody saying anything like that. As far as I can see everyone agrees that slapping is the very last resort for a very unruly child.

af_thefragile

I was...
I probably deserved it... Don't exactly remember for what exact reasons I got hit but I used to always end up getting myself into trouble and stuff... Sorta still do! (get into trouble that is, my parents don't hit me anymore...lol eh...)

MagicSean

charlemont wrote: »

A lot of people on here don't know what they are talking about, But then that's not surprising either, If people think its ok for parents to humiliate and beat their children just for daring to actually think different or refusing to be the person they want you to be than that is scandalous thinking, No wonder this country is full of sheep.

Being different? What candyland do you live in? I'm talking about kids as young as 6 who are harassing pensioners, ****ing rocks at everything and hurling abuse at strangers.

stovelid

charlemont wrote: »

No wonder this country is full of sheep.

It mutton be done, I agree.

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

stovelid wrote: »

It mutton be done, I agree.

Surpsied no one's labeled it as woolly liberal thinking...

beeroclock

Sky King wrote: »

I dunno man, you know when you see a kid having a complete spa attack in the supermarket because it wants a golly bar or whatever - do you think if that kid got a punch in the face every time it did that, it would continue to behave in this way?

For more helpful parenting tips, PM me.

I was in stitches reading this! In particular the PM me bit






(PM sent)

ziggy23

charlemont wrote: »

A lot of people on here don't know what they are talking about, But then that's not surprising either, If people think its ok for parents to humiliate and beat their children just for daring to actually think different or refusing to be the person they want you to be than that is scandalous thinking, No wonder this country is full of sheep.

Emmm who said that is ok?

Dudess

charlemont wrote: »

A lot of people on here don't know what they are talking about

agreed.

But then that's not surprising either, If people think its ok for parents to humiliate and beat their children just for daring to actually think different or refusing to be the person they want you to be than that is scandalous thinking, No wonder this country is full of sheep.

I agree (apart from the sheep bit - tends to be meaningless) but giving a kid a light smack in private when they're being extremely badly-behaved isn't any of the above.

nlgbbbblth

Occasionally got smacks and slaps when I was younger. I don't bear any resentment towards my parents because of it.

Don't agree with slapping, smacking or hitting children.

Unlike the sanctimonious OP I am have no problem in admitting that I am a parent. Non-parents have just as much right to voice their opinions on these issues.

It's the secretive crap like this that I can't stand.

Chuck Stone wrote: »

This isn't about me. I don't say personal shit on this public forum anyway.

Dudess

King of Kings wrote: »

Pinklady11 wrote: »

We were battered when we were kids. There were a few of us so someone was getting a beating fairly frequent. If you weren't at the receiving end of it then you had to watch whoever was getting it. And yes it did do me harm...it put the fear of god into me if I did something wrong even if it was an accident...minimum 3 or 4 slaps would be dished out. It turned me into a shy timid child.

It's wrong to slap a child. I would never slap my own children.

you sound like my sister - pretty much sums up my house growing up.

what really ****ed me over was I could see where the beatings came from when I was bold but getting battered for spilling milk etc... was just ****ed up.

it certainly effected me in terms of how i view society and people.

Fook! :eek:
Of course it affected ye!

later12

charlemont wrote: »

A lot of people on here don't know what they are talking about, But then that's not surprising either, If people think its ok for parents to humiliate and beat their children just for daring to actually think different or refusing to be the person they want you to be than

Bold or unmannerly children are not just coming at life with a different philosophy. It's not a lifestyle choice, it's a natural vice that needs to be dealt with.

It can be dealt with by smacking or by other means in my experience as an Uncle and as a former smackee, but I wish people would stop exaggerating the mental health ramifications without evidence.

Of course, nobody would really condone the 'beating' of children here. I think all most of us are talking about is a once-off smacking on the bottom or the palm.

Dudess

kylith wrote: »

charlemont wrote: »

A lot of people on here don't know what they are talking about, But then that's not surprising either, If people think its ok for parents to humiliate and beat their children just for daring to actually think different or refusing to be the person they want you to be than that is scandalous thinking, No wonder this country is full of sheep.

I don't think I've seen anybody saying anything like that. As far as I can see everyone agrees that slapping is the very last resort for a very unruly child.

Methinks Charlemont knows that but threw out the strawman anyway.

Macken200

I wouldn't agree with hitting them at all-I have my own one and not only is she my daughter , she is my friend as well..Her mother is different though, she pulls her hair ,pinches and slaps her and as I don't live with them I can't protect her from this ,nor can I complain as her mother wouldn't be too happy to know that I know this. I'll let mine argue with me and there isn't a week that goes by that we don't have a little spat, like yesterday ,she called me a 'chauvinist'and my response was to laugh and ask her did she want a cup of tea.There is no need for slapping as it really solves nothing and can lead to resentment .

charlemont

Must be letting my emotions run away with me, But any attitude in which its ok to hit a child is scum thinking, Fair enough if children are acting the bollox and harassing vulnerable people or vandalising property then a punishment has to be applied, But any child's bad behaviour is a reflection of his/her parents parenting skills. And yea I did spot a few posts which seemed to be condoning smacking, There's more than one way to skin a cat.

ziggy23

charlemont wrote: »

Must be letting my emotions run away with me, But any attitude in which its ok to hit a child is scum thinking, Fair enough if children are acting the bollox and harassing vulnerable peopleor vandalising property then a punishment has to be applied, But any child's bad behaviour is a reflection of his/her parents parenting skills. And yea I did spot a few posts which seemed to be condoning smacking, There's more than one way to skin a cat.

I condone smacking as a last resort and I've explained countless times it is a light smack on the bum after other techniques have been failed. My son is trying to push the boundaries that is all. I am his mother so it is up to me to teach him what is acceptable and unacceptable behaviour. Do you suggest I allow him to have his own way and smash up the house and headbutt people as this is his way of expressing himself?

Esoteric_

I was hit as a kid, quite badly. Punched in the face by the father on one occasion that I can remember.

Did me no harm. I grew up intelligent, respectful, successful (somewhat!) and fairly happy. I think my father went way overboard but, although I don't think I'd ever do it myself, giving your kids a soft slap when they misbehave won't kill them.

mikom

charlemont wrote: »

But any attitude in which its ok to hit a child is scum thinking, Fair enough if children are acting the bollox and harassing vulnerable people or vandalising property then a punishment has to be applied,

Which is it?

ziggy23

LyndaMcL wrote: »

I was hit as a kid, quite badly. Punched in the face by the father on one occasion that I can remember.

Did me no harm. I grew up intelligent, respectful, successful (somewhat!) and fairly happy. I think my father went way overboard but, although I don't think I'd ever do it myself, giving your kids a soft slap when they misbehave won't kill them.

Now a punch in the face is a different matter altogether. I would totally disagree with that.

Especially a father punching his daughter in the face that is disgusting.

Esoteric_

ziggy23 wrote: »

Now a punch in the face is a different matter altogether. I would totally disagree with that.

Oh yeah, going that far is completely wrong, it's abuse plain and simple. But like I said, I don't think a SOFT slap on the bum will kill your child.

Dudess

charlemont wrote: »

any attitude in which its ok to hit a child is scum thinking

In your closed-minded opinion.

But any child's bad behaviour is a reflection of his/her parents parenting skills.

Not always. Peers can influence kids, or jjust being a little git despite great parents. You could apply your view to parents who do sod all to teach their kids boundaries too.
[/Quote]And yea I did spot a few posts which seemed to be condoning smacking, There's more than one way to skin a cat.[/Quote]
Not condoning it so much as understanding it can very occasionally be a last resort after all the other ways to skin a cat have been tried.

Dudess

LyndaMcL wrote: »

I was hit as a kid, quite badly. Punched in the face by the father on one occasion that I can remember.

Did me no harm. I grew up intelligent, respectful, successful (somewhat!) and fairly happy. I think my father went way overboard but, although I don't think I'd ever do it myself, giving your kids a soft slap when they misbehave won't kill them.

Fook, even if your father's behaviour did you no harm, it's inexcusable.

Please Kill Me

Yes, I got beaten constantly by my Dad. I remember my mum crying one day, shouting at him that he goes too far, to which he replied "well if you don't want me to do anything, don't tell me that they were up to no good!", he beat me (and my brothers) from when we were 4/5 years old. The last time he tried, I was 15 and he tried to kick me in the back when I wasn't looking, or so he thought. I turned, blocked the kick and pinned him against the wall. He never touched me after that. :mad:

PrincessLola

Yes.

Because my parents were cnuts.

Dudess

Macken200 wrote: »

I wouldn't agree with hitting them at all-I have my own one and not only is she my daughter , she is my friend as well..Her mother is different though, she pulls her hair ,pinches and slaps her and as I don't live with them I can't protect her from this ,nor can I complain as her mother wouldn't be too happy to know that I know this.

Fook. Not nice... :-/
Crap the way it's so hard in this country to get that kinda sh1t stopped...

ziggy23

Please Kill Me wrote: »

Yes, I got beaten constantly by my Dad. I remember my mum crying one day, shouting at him that he goes too far, to which he replied "well if you don't want me to do anything, don't tell me that they were up to no good!", he beat me (and my brothers) from when we were 4/5 years old. The last time he tried, I was 15 and he tried to kick me in the back when I wasn't looking, or so he thought. I turned, blocked the kick and pinned him against the wall. He never touched me after that. :mad:

That is very very sad what a terrible way to treat his kids I hope you are ok:(

charlemont

ziggy23 wrote: »

I condone smacking as a last resort and I've explained countless times it is a light smack on the bum after other techniques have been failed. My son is trying to push the boundaries that is all. I am his mother so it is up to me to teach him what is acceptable and unacceptable behaviour. Do you suggest I allow him to have his own way and smash up the house and headbutt people as this is his way of expressing himself?

You got to do what you got to do ! Why is he pushing the boundaries ? Is he bored or just wild ?

ziggy23

charlemont wrote: »

You got to do what you got to do ! Why is he pushing the boundaries ? Is he bored or just wild ?

He is slightly wild yes but a lot kids need to see how far they can go. If I just let him away with it it would be a disaster for both me and him as he grows up. Don't get me wrong this is a rare occurance and he is the most loveable little fella you'll ever meet he loves his mammy and he know his mammy loves him. I would be a terrible mother if I let him think life was about him getting his own way all the time.

Please Kill Me

ziggy23 wrote: »

That is very very sad what a terrible way to treat his kids I hope you are ok:(

Thanks. TBH, no not really in that I have a short fuse and bad temper, don't know if it's related or not. I have 5 kids of my own and I'm glad to say I've never raised a hand to any of them!! I'd let a roar alright, but that's about it.

mayobumblebee

ah the wooden spoon my mum was a pure softy and did atempt to threaten it once to me i think a friend of hers put the idea in her head. well i was so stunned that she would even think to try it that i told her if she hit me i was going to hit her back.

i personally think its a lazy way of teaching someone right from wrong and a small child would be led to believe that he/she will get her way by clonking everyone over the head or back or bum. maybe its because i dont have children but i dont see the point in trying to teach a child how to behave properly one minute and then behaving exactly how you dont want them to behave as a lesson
no wonder they dont know whats going on. that said i dont think the naughty step works either you cant send a child for a punisment it doesnt have the atention span to understand or adhear to.

bullets

I got the wooden spoon broken off my arse!
Soooo much so I hid the wooden spoon by taking it from the 2nd drawer in the kitchen and hiding it at the back of the press. only to be belted by another.

Had a few slaps of the back of the head when I was older too, as I grew into a cocky teenager had the cheek to raise my hand to my father and threaten to clock him one, but never did in the end.

I'f I were a parent I would leather them if they got unruely.
Never did me any harm and nowadays parents are much too PC.

~B

ziggy23

Please Kill Me wrote: »

Thanks. TBH, no not really in that I have a short fuse and bad temper, don't know if it's related or not. I have 5 kids of my own and I'm glad to say I've never raised a hand to any of them!! I'd let a roar alright, but that's about it.

Oh I can totally understand you not laying a hand on your kids after you experienced that. And whether you've a short fuse or not theres no excuse for you being beaten as a kid.

Dudess

bullets wrote: »

I got the wooden spoon broken off my arse!
Soooo much so I hid the wooden spoon by taking it from the 2nd drawer in the kitchen and hiding it at the back of the press. only to be belted by another.

Had a few slaps of the back of the head when I was older too, as I grew into a cocky teenager had the cheek to raise my hand to my father and threaten to clock him one, but never did in the end.

I'f I were a parent I would leather them if they got unruely.
Never did me any harm and nowadays parents are much too PC.

~B

That kind of assault is wrong even if you think it didn't harm you. It obviously didn't work either, seeing as you became a cocky teenager.

kelty

When I was younger my father use to beat me, my bother and sisters with a cane when we became unruly. Didn't do us any harm and he brought us up good and proper to be polite and respectful of others.

He sacrificed all of his savings to put all 4 of us through college and now all of us have successful careers. He wanted what was best for us and I am thankful to him for that.

dr.bollocko

Whoever first introduced the wooden spoon to Irish culture is one child hating bastard.

dahamsta

Chuck Stone wrote: »

I'm not at all angry.

Yet you feel the need to swear regularly in this thread, rather ironically given there's plenty of kids in here. You're either angry or you're a troll, and given the nonsense you're coming out with, I'll side with troll. So I'll leave you to your childish nonsense.

(That's the downside of posting on mobile, you don't know which forum you're in. When is After Hours going to be renamed to Moron Alley, that's what I want to know.)

ziggy23

mayobumblebee wrote: »

ah the wooden spoon my mum was a pure softy and did atempt to threaten it once to me i think a friend of hers put the idea in her head. well i was so stunned that she would even think to try it that i told her if she hit me i was going to hit her back.

i personally think its a lazy way of teaching someone right from wrong and a small child would be led to believe that he/she will get her way by clonking everyone over the head or back or bum. maybe its because i dont have children but i dont see the point in trying to teach a child how to behave properly one minute and then behaving exactly how you dont want them to behave as a lesson
no wonder they dont know whats going on. that said i dont think the naughty step works either you cant send a child for a punisment it doesnt have the atention span to understand or adhear to.

So what would you recommend? I would never hit my child over the head. I think I have smacked him on the bum twice and that was after everything else didn't work. I didnt hurt him but it stopped him doing what he was doing.

Kohl

Yea I did. But there was usually a reason for it. One day I cursed at my mother and my Dad hit me. Another time I filled a lot of empty jam jars with diesel and my Dad hit me.

I don't think I'd do the same. I think I'd shout and punish my children in a way that would make them understand that they did something wrong and shouldn't do it again. I know people say about oh you should never smack your children, but I think you should be firm.

Dudess

kelty wrote: »

When I was younger my father use to beat me, my bother and sisters with a cane when we became unruly. Didn't do us any harm and he brought us up good and proper to be polite and respectful of others.

He sacrificed all of his savings to put all 4 of us through college and now all of us have successful careers. He wanted what was best for us and I am thankful to him for that.

Freaks me out when people are grateful for being assaulted to that extent, and maintaining it done them no harm... :-/

charlemont

Dudess wrote: »

In your closed-minded opinion.

Not always. Peers can influence kids, or jjust being a little git despite great parents. You could apply your view to parents who do sod all to teach their kids boundaries too.

And yea I did spot a few posts which seemed to be condoning smacking, There's more than one way to skin a cat.[/Quote]
Not condoning it so much as understanding it can very occasionally be a last resort after all the other ways to skin a cat have been tried.[/QUOTE]

You obviously never got beat as a child so...

You know nothing about my life.

Close minded....I'v heard you ramble on in Henchy's once girl you gave us a bloody earache..

ziggy23

dr.bollocko wrote: »

Whoever first introduced the wooden spoon to Irish culture is one child hating bastard.

Has nobody experienced a wet tea-towel across the back of the legs rather than a wooden spoon? Ouchies:eek:

dr.bollocko

dahamsta wrote: »

Yet you feel the need to swear regularly in this thread, rather ironically given there's plenty of kids in here. You're either angry or you're a troll, and given the nonsense you're coming out with, I'll side with troll. So I'll leave you to your childish nonsense.

(That's the downside of posting on mobile, you don't know which forum you're in. When is After Hours going to be renamed to Moron Alley, that's what I want to know.)

Don't like it eh?
Morons are we?

Oh well.
Banned.

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

Dudess wrote: »

Freaks me out when people are grateful for being assaulted to that extent, and maintaining it done them no harm... :-/

Agree - it's as if the sole purpose of discipline is to not actually do harm. If it goes good, it's a bonus.

charlemont

Dudess wrote: »

Fook, even if your father's behaviour did you no harm, it's inexcusable.

But when I criticize children being hit I'm called close minded...Think you want to sort your problem out..

charlemont

ziggy23 wrote: »

He is slightly wild yes but a lot kids need to see how far they can go. If I just let him away with it it would be a disaster for both me and him as he grows up. Don't get me wrong this is a rare occurance and he is the most loveable little fella you'll ever meet he loves his mammy and he know his mammy loves him. I would be a terrible mother if I let him think life was about him getting his own way all the time.

I see what your saying, Your obviously doing it for his better good so, Sounds like my ex's child a live wire but the most loving child ever.

ziggy23

charlemont wrote: »

And yea I did spot a few posts which seemed to be condoning smacking, There's more than one way to skin a cat.

Not condoning it so much as understanding it can very occasionally be a last resort after all the other ways to skin a cat have been tried.[/QUOTE]

You obviously never got beat as a child so...

You know nothing about my life.

Close minded....I'v heard you ramble on in Henchy's once girl you gave us a bloody earache..[/QUOTE]

If somebody has been beaten as a child I can completely understand them being against even light smacking. My mother gave me a few slaps as a child if I did something dreadful I dont mean spilling milk but something terrible and it had no affect on me whatsoever. There is a big difference between beatings and light smacking on rare occasions when a child is being completely unruly or bold.