LETS ALL LAUGH AT PEOPLE WITH DEPRESSION!!

nesf

BrianG23 wrote: »

Played it for a few minutes...it reminded me of what goes through my head and made me feal bad. But I just remind myself that it is specifically due to depression and that's not actually me

Like I said, this kind of thing is triggering. I wasn't feeling too good playing it, it was dredging up quite a few bad memories and I'm in a fairly good place at the moment.

MagicStars

Made an appointment to go back to my Doctor but I don't really know what I want to get out of it, the last antidepressants didn't help and I stopped taking them. I don't really know what I'm going to say to him and I feel really helpless about it.

Cliona99

Hi MagicStars,

well done on making the appointment first of all. I find it terrifying talking to the doctor because you're talking to a (relative) stranger about things that you probably don't mention to your closest friends.

The best advice I got was to be honest. (And it doesn't matter if you cry). They have seen it all, and if your doctor is any good, he wants you to get better. He will do what he can to help you.

(Also, if you feel like your gp doesn't 'get it', don't be afraid to see someone else).

Best of luck with the appointment. I know I felt about a hundred times better when it was over, hope it's the same for you

MagicStars

Thank you Cliona,
I am quite anxious about going as I find it difficult to talk to him sometimes, but I'll try be as honest as I can and hopefully some good will come from it.
It'll be worth it in the end I suppose.

Cliona99

It will absolutely be worth it. You didn't ask to be depressed, you deserve all the help you can get to get better. You can do it.

arbitrary constant

It's nice and reassuring to read threads like this with people openly discussing their problems and gaining some sort of hope about what the future might hold. From a neutral perspective I read things like this, read other peoples' stories and think to myself "they still have hope, they have so many things going for them and could one day be happy". Yet any time I try to apply this to my own life, it just doesn't work. There are just too many obstacles for me to overcome, that a "normal" person would be perfectly able to deal with....I'm not allowed hold myself to the same standards as other people. I have to be better, nicer, friendlier, smarter, thinner, fitter, better looking and just superior in general to everyone else......despite the fact that every single person in my life completely overshadows me in pretty much all of those aspects. Instead I sit here overweight, unfit, unattractive, stupid, broke, not particularly popular and feeling like a complete underachiever and failure at life.

I've done the medication thing, the counselling thing, the therapy thing.....and yet nothing ever seems to work. I either have to live with constant disappointment about being the completely inadequate fúckup that I am, or else I have to lower my standards and expectations so that the only way I'll ever stop being miserable is by accepting just how much (or how little, even) of an inadequate fúckup I really am. How the hell could anyone ever be expected to be happy with that?

I try imagining my future and all I see is a blank space. I'm 23 and it seems like I'm already too old to fix things. I really fúcking hate what I let myself become.

im invisible

I dont know what to advise you to do, but do something, keep trying, its not too late but days can turn to years pretty quickly, and before you know it, you're 30...

delthedriver

arbitrary constant wrote: »

It's nice and reassuring to read threads like this with people openly discussing their problems and gaining some sort of hope about what the future might hold. From a neutral perspective I read things like this, read other peoples' stories and think to myself "they still have hope, they have so many things going for them and could one day be happy". Yet any time I try to apply this to my own life, it just doesn't work. There are just too many obstacles for me to overcome, that a "normal" person would be perfectly able to deal with....I'm not allowed hold myself to the same standards as other people. I have to be better, nicer, friendlier, smarter, thinner, fitter, better looking and just superior in general to everyone else......despite the fact that every single person in my life completely overshadows me in pretty much all of those aspects. Instead I sit here overweight, unfit, unattractive, stupid, broke, not particularly popular and feeling like a complete underachiever and failure at life.

I've done the medication thing, the counselling thing, the therapy thing.....and yet nothing ever seems to work. I either have to live with constant disappointment about being the completely inadequate fúckup that I am, or else I have to lower my standards and expectations so that the only way I'll ever stop being miserable is by accepting just how much (or how little, even) of an inadequate fúckup I really am. How the hell could anyone ever be expected to be happy with that?

I try imagining my future and all I see is a blank space. I'm 23 and it seems like I'm already too old to fix things. I really fúcking hate what I let myself become.

Wow ! Firstly you have to stop being so critical of yourself. You are only 23 and have a lot of living to do. Live in the Now! What can you do to help make yourself happier.? Stop Criticising yourself. Look at the positives
You most certainly are very intelligent, not stupid. It would appear you have identified weight and fitness as two of the main issues causing you stress. Have you consulted a dietician? Have you joined a walking or jogging club which appear to be sprouting up all over the country If you wish to Pm me I will be happy to share the name of my dietician with you.
There is a huge amount of information contained in this forum, I have no doubt, any of the Ops if you wish to PM will be happy to give you leads.
What about support from Partner, Friends, Family?
It is very easy to get stuck in a furrow, you need to break out?
Finally I have in the past spoken about the benefits of dog walking. It helps promote fitness, is an healthy outdoor activity, promotes the positive chemicals in our brains. Meeting other dog owners,helps improve self confidence. Even if at first it is simply polite greetings, sometimes it leads to more regular meetings and chats, therefore you are creating a new social circle with fellow dog lovers.
I have found that people with interest in dogs to be wonderfully kind.
Of course , I cheat, I don't have my own dog because it would not fit into my lifestyle. So I borrow s friend's dog which ensures the dog gets plenty of exercise when my friend is at work. Give it a try!
Please keep posting and feel free to PM anyone on this forum for advice.
Life is for living. Be kind to yourself,please.:)

delthedriver

Folks,

A book I picked up last year which may be of help, New York Times Bestseller

The Ultramind Solution by Mark Hyman MD.

The Simple Way to Defeat Depression, overcome anxiety and sharpen your mind.

Fix your broken brain by healing your body first.

It concentrates on the seven basic core systems of your body- nutrition, hormones, immune function, digestion, detoxification, energy metabolism and mind body, explain all the diseases we think are brain problems when in truth they are simply imbalance in the body , which show up in the brain.

It is certainly worth a read and I'm sure it is available to buy online.

I have mentioned the importance in some of my recent posts benefits of exercise, whether walking the dog or jogging, the regeneration of the positive chemicals in the brain, ensuring you eat and hydrate properly ,avoiding alcohol, importance of keeping the body healthy.

One thing I am conscious of is the importance of a healthy diet, fresh veg including old fashioned greens ,carrots, together with fish . We tend to eat too much processed food and takeaways .Sorry if I am beginning to repeat myself but it is amazing how going back to my theory on being kind to yourself,it may compliment the medical regime you are current following.

Food for thought?

KiwiBanana

DeVore wrote: »

That website and the network of them behind it seems quite well crafted to sell Dr Low's books..... I hate to put anyone off going anywhere to talk and seek help but I have my suspicions about that website.

Yep, may well be the case. Like I say, I don't know much about the group except what I was told but just thought I'd mention it anyway in case it's of help. Learning lots from this thread, thanks.

Gongoozler

I'm going out of my mind. people don't like me. they just don't. and there are just no jobs out there. anything that I'd have a chance of doing, it's an internship. I'm in tears. what am I supposed to do!?

delthedriver

Folks, Since I started posting on this thread I have found it to be a great boost to me.

I look back some months ago when I read the posts of other OPS who were brave enogh to share their stories. Yet I was terrified to contemplate telling anytjing about my illness.

I compare this thread to like being on a long train journey, passengers get on and off at different stops. It is often the company of strangers on a train journey that the most interesting life stories and words of wisdom are exchanged.

Having been on this train journey for a few weeks , i have benefited from the interaction with strangers, their hopes , worries, fears and solutions, and from the bottom of my heart I say , THANK YOU !
Tomorrow is another day and we shall continue that train journey together.

Good Night , Sleep well, and be kind to yourselves:)

arbitrary constant

delthedriver wrote: »

Wow ! Firstly you have to stop being so critical of yourself. You are only 23 and have a lot of living to do. Live in the Now! What can you do to help make yourself happier.? Stop Criticising yourself. Look at the positives

I try but it's really not easy. I can only see the good aspects of others and the bad aspects of myself, hence the endless comparing myself to everyone else. It's almost impossible to walk down the street without thinking about the people I pass "he's better looking than me", "she' probably much smarter than me", "I bet they've got way more friends than I do" etc.

You most certainly are very intelligent, not stupid.

I did well in my Leaving Cert but everything since then has been complete underachievement and waste of time. I did 4 years doing a BSc I hated, getting a shítty degree that doesn't do me much good and meanwhile wasted so much of my time in university being depressed and lonely while everyone else around me was enjoying themselves. Now I'm a postgrad (again, doing a course that's not really what I want to do) and I look at current first years and can't help feeling jealousy and resentment about.

It would appear you have identified weight and fitness as two of the main issues causing you stress. Have you consulted a dietician? Have you joined a walking or jogging club which appear to be sprouting up all over the country If you wish to Pm me I will be happy to share the name of my dietician with you.

That's very kind of you, thank you. But I'm not living in Ireland at the moment. I've never seen a dietician 'cause I'm not obese or anything, just really self-conscious about my stomach being a little flabbier than normal. As for exercise, friends have often suggested I go to the gym with them but again I'm way too self-conscious. It would feel horrible for me to be out of breath after a few minutes on a treadmill while they were just warming up. I've often thought about taking up running or jogging but again, am way too self-conscious to run in public. I'd barely be a few metres from my house before I'd start panting.

Counseller has told me that I'm a classic example of a perfectionist; I have ridiculously high expectations, and because I know I won't be able to meet them I don't even try, because it's less painful to not try and fail than it is to try your absolute hardest and still fail.

I didn't even get out of bed yesterday (Tuesday) 'cause there was nothing or no-one worth getting up for. In a few days time I might feel ok again but right now the most productive thing I'm capable of doing is rambling on an internet forum.

Again, thanks for your reply and your suggestions.

KKkitty

Arbitrary constant you are young but if you're feeling down and not able to get out of bed try setting goals for the next day that will force you somewhat to get out of bed. They can be anything at all. Last year I lost 2 babies. 1 from an ectopic pregnancy and the other from a miscarriage. To say I got low is an understatement. I'd often get out of bed in the morning and go back hours later. How my fiance coped when I was like that I don't know but I love him more for it. Already being a mother of 2 boys I realised how selfish I was. My oldest noticed a change in me and said it to me. I bit by bit starting changing for the better.

arbitrary constant

KKkitty wrote: »

Arbitrary constant you are young but if you're feeling down and not able to get out of bed try setting goals for the next day that will force you somewhat to get out of bed. They can be anything at all.

I've tried that. Even setting small little goals that were very achieveable. Still didn't work out for me.

Last year I lost 2 babies. 1 from an ectopic pregnancy and the other from a miscarriage. To say I got low is an understatement. I'd often get out of bed in the morning and go back hours later. How my fiance coped when I was like that I don't know but I love him more for it. Already being a mother of 2 boys I realised how selfish I was. My oldest noticed a change in me and said it to me. I bit by bit starting changing for the better.

That's awful. I'm really sorry to hear that. Glad that you're doing a bit better now though.

MrKingsley

delthedriver wrote: »

Mr. Kingsley,

Thank you most sincerely for your kind words.

Please take great care of yourself.

In time you too will feel confident about writing down your thoughts and post.

Meanwhile take it easy , look after yourself.

You have made the first step towards posting your thoughts, just give yourself a little more time.

I look forward to seeing your post.

On behalf of all the Boardsies here we wish you well.

Please stay in contact.

Live in the Now!

Best Regards,

Im going to make this brief.

I just cant get out of this funk.

Essentially ive been feeling like sh1t for 2/3 years now. I didnt take any notice of it for the first while and one day i broke down in front of my GP and he advised me to go to a psychologist. I went for 6/7 months and felt a lot better.

I stopped as ive moved away from Ireland. I would love to do the same now but I know the language barrier would be a problem.

I honestly feel (as a lot of people on this thread) like theres no point to get up in the morning, eat, socialize, follow my goals(whoch i set when i was 12/13 years old) or even communicate with people.

The day that I meet someone who I can talk to(in an unprofessional capacity) about this, will be the day i feel a lot better

Esel

arbitrary constant wrote: »

I'm not allowed hold myself to the same standards as other people. I have to be better, nicer, friendlier, smarter, thinner, fitter, better looking and just superior in general to everyone else......despite the fact that every single person in my life completely overshadows me in pretty much all of those aspects. Instead I sit here overweight, unfit, unattractive, stupid, broke, not particularly popular and feeling like a complete underachiever and failure at life.

I presume you mean that you yourself are not allowing yourself these things, and that you feel all the other things.

These are classic negative thoughts which you can learn to challenge successfully.

arbitrary constant wrote: »

I've done the medication thing, the counselling thing, the therapy thing.....and yet nothing ever seems to work. I either have to live with constant disappointment about being the completely inadequate fúckup that I am, or else I have to lower my standards and expectations so that the only way I'll ever stop being miserable is by accepting just how much (or how little, even) of an inadequate fúckup I really am. How the hell could anyone ever be expected to be happy with that?

See my comment above.

arbitrary constant wrote: »

... friends have often suggested I go to the gym with them but again I'm way too self-conscious. It would feel horrible for me to be out of breath after a few minutes on a treadmill while they were just warming up. I've often thought about taking up running or jogging but again, am way too self-conscious to run in public. I'd barely be a few metres from my house before I'd start panting.

Take up power-walking. Then progress to easy jogging. Even without doing wither of these, you could still go to the gym with your friends, and there is no valid reason to feel 'horrible'.[/quote] Friends don't judge their friends.

arbitrary constant wrote: »

I didn't even get out of bed yesterday 'cause there was nothing or no-one worth getting up for.

You are worth getting up for.

Challenge those negative thoughts! Ask your counsellor about how to do this. They may recommend cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT) - if they don't, ask them about it.

Fixer Upper

What helps me out is other peoples smiles/laughs - for example I was in a chemist the other day and I asked for "one of their finest cheapest bottles of cough medicine" - the girl attending me got a little giggle out of it but not as much as I did and I walked away with a pep in my step! :P

So every day i try to make at least one person smile - not for them but for me!

delthedriver

MrKingsley wrote: »

Im going to make this brief.

I just cant get out of this funk.

Essentially ive been feeling like sh1t for 2/3 years now. I didnt take any notice of it for the first while and one day i broke down in front of my GP and he advised me to go to a psychologist. I went for 6/7 months and felt a lot better.

I stopped as ive moved away from Ireland. I would love to do the same now but I know the language barrier would be a problem.

I honestly feel (as a lot of people on this thread) like theres no point to get up in the morning, eat, socialize, follow my goals(whoch i set when i was 12/13 years old) or even communicate with people.

The day that I meet someone who I can talk to(in an unprofessional capacity) about this, will be the day i feel a lot better

Just a quick thought, there are online Counsellors providing counselling services, this may help get around the language barrier. Worth a try?:)

delthedriver

Fixer Upper wrote: »

What helps me out is other peoples smiles/laughs - for example I was in a chemist the other day and I asked for "one of their finest cheapest bottles of cough medicine" - the girl attending me got a little giggle out of it but not as much as I did and I walked away with a pep in my step! :P

So every day i try to make at least one person smile - not for them but for me!

Agree totally, we'll done!

I get a great kick out of seeing someone smile too.
It may be the young lady at the register in my local supermarket or indeed the lady serving coffee in my favourite retreat. They have often commented that I am their favourite customer, because I acknowledge them, I know their names, and have a kind word to say , or indeed pass a funny comment.

This gives me great hope, lifts my day, it is amazing that my life is in turmoil, but for those few moments of positivity no one is aware of my Depression.:)

Call Me Jimmy

Not doing well. I try to keep mentally strong but all it takes is one thought like 'wait a second, the whole reason you are depressed hasn't changed, you're still sexually irrelevant' to make me think about suicide and giving everything up.

I know I'm not feeling well but I do think whatever time left I have is just for other people, family mainly. Basically all I'm doing is keeping things barely ticking along for them, but there is no feeling, if I had had a choice I would have chosen to go a long time ago, and again now.

I know I might get well-meaning responses but there is definitely a big part of me already gone.

Mr Benevolent

Call Me Jimmy wrote: »

Not doing well. I try to keep mentally strong but all it takes is one thought like 'wait a second, the whole reason you are depressed hasn't changed, you're still sexually irrelevant' to make me think about suicide and giving everything up.

I know I'm not feeling well but I do think whatever time left I have is just for other people, family mainly. Basically all I'm doing is keeping things barely ticking along for them, but there is no feeling, if I had had a choice I would have chosen to go a long time ago, and again now.

I know I might get well-meaning responses but there is definitely a big part of me already gone.

Talk to someone. Now. Please.

Call Me Jimmy

Understand where you're coming from, but I have regular psychiatrist visits (bi-weekly) and this is a pretty common feeling for me, there is no actual danger at this time. It is just how I feel

KKkitty

arbitrary constant wrote: »

I've tried that. Even setting small little goals that were very achieveable. Still didn't work out for me.



That's awful. I'm really sorry to hear that. Glad that you're doing a bit better now though.

Thank you. I avoided going out for even a minute in case I saw a mother pushing a buggy. I felt like I let my fiance down too. With the ectopic pregnancy I lost a tube because of the damage done to it. What else have you tried?

delthedriver

Call Me Jimmy wrote: »

Not doing well. I try to keep mentally strong but all it takes is one thought like 'wait a second, the whole reason you are depressed hasn't changed, you're still sexually irrelevant' to make me think about suicide and giving everything up.

I know I'm not feeling well but I do think whatever time left I have is just for other people, family mainly. Basically all I'm doing is keeping things barely ticking along for them, but there is no feeling, if I had had a choice I would have chosen to go a long time ago, and again now.

I know I might get well-meaning responses but there is definitely a big part of me already gone.

Jimmy,
I have been where you are now, on a number of occasions. Please hold on in there, I'm glad I did. Take good care of yourself.
Sincerely,
Del

delthedriver

Having a rough night, unable to sleep,tossing and turning.

Brain is doing overtime, will not rest.

Admittedly I went to bed for 2 hours yesterday afternoon, because I could no longer function.

I wish I could sleep, my eyes are very tired but my body is so wrestles. Issues in my life are going to be extremely stressful in my life from now until end of April.

I need sleep and crave for sleep, but body and brain are awake.

My fear is slipping back to the dark days again

delthedriver

Finally got out of bed at lunchtime.

Brought doggy for a couple of long walks. Fresh air and sunshine helped lift mood.

Energy level very low, felt absolutely exhausted.

Concentration very poor, fell asleep watching TV , no idea what I was watching.

Tomorrow is another day.:)

hollster2

delthedriver wrote: »

Finally got out of bed at lunchtime.

Brought doggy for a couple of long walks. Fresh air and sunshine helped lift mood.

Energy level very low, felt absolutely exhausted.

Concentration very poor, fell asleep watching TV , no idea what I was watching.

Tomorrow is another day.:)

thats the part i hate the concentration i feel like Im in my own little bubble walking great for just refreshing your self and mind i think it helps for me just fill bath with radox and soak for a half hr the scent calms me down hope you can sleep tonight!

Gongoozler

For people with trouble sleeping, would you consider trying mindfulness? It could help stop your mind racing and it's very relaxing.

awny

Hi all,


I wrote here a few weeks back ago my boyfriend who is suffering from depression. Despite numerous requests to go and me giving him info, he will not go to a doctor or get help. I am so upset and I am finding it really hard to cope as he is very irritable and I feel like he takes a lot of it out on me. Im at my wits end.

My bfs parents know that he has a tendancy to get depressed but I feel now its time to involve them. he needs help and Im hoping that his parents will sit him down and explain their concerns too. However Im afraid that my boyfriend will resent me for doing this or see it as a breach of trust?

Thanks a million!