LETS ALL LAUGH AT PEOPLE WITH DEPRESSION!!

Wattle

awny wrote: »

Hi all,


I wrote here a few weeks back ago my boyfriend who is suffering from depression. Despite numerous requests to go and me giving him info, he will not go to a doctor or get help. I am so upset and I am finding it really hard to cope as he is very irritable and I feel like he takes a lot of it out on me. Im at my wits end.

My bfs parents know that he has a tendancy to get depressed but I feel now its time to involve them. he needs help and Im hoping that his parents will sit him down and explain their concerns too. However Im afraid that my boyfriend will resent me for doing this or see it as a breach of trust?

Thanks a million!

Beyond giving the right advice and being supportive there's not a lot you can do. Frustrating I know but the person who is suffering needs to start taking active steps towards their own recovery however difficult that maybe in the beginning.

Does he have any friends that could have a word? Sometimes if the advice comes from a person who is not at the coalface it maybe more readily accepted by him.

delthedriver

Got 7 hours sleep last night.

Brought doggy out for a walk this am.

Feeling a bit brighter and fresher. Despite the wind it is a lovely day out there.

Good to be alive!

awny

Wattle wrote: »

Beyond giving the right advice and being supportive there's not a lot you can do. Frustrating I know but the person who is suffering needs to start taking active steps towards their own recovery however difficult that maybe in the beginning.

Does he have any friends that could have a word? Sometimes if the advice comes from a person who is not at the coalface it maybe more readily accepted by him.

Thanks for the reply. No none of his friends know whats goin on and he wont tell them. Im the only person who he talks to and I also seems to be the one that gets the brunt of it. Two of my sisters are doctors and I was considering asking 1 of them for advice or to talk to him but I think he would go mad. I just dont know what to do anymore.

Call Me Jimmy

Del, way to go on staying the course after frustration.

The more I do my college project the more I realise there is to do. The complexity of the topic I chose is stupid considering the things I could have done, but as ever I was disorganised (to put it nicely) at the time of choosing and ended up picking it in a haste. I'm stuck with it now.

The upside is I barely have a moment to consider how utterly pointless it all is as I won't be getting a job with my degree but just doing it for parents, I owe them that and there's just this (hell-of-a) last semester to get through. Then I face a wall of nothingness, that is if I don't have a breakdown between now and then.

Hope everyone's doing well.

pinkstars

Hi all

Never contributed to the thread.
Have been very unwell for over 2 years severe anxiety panic and depression. Am finally back to work. Relationship ended in the end.

I think I just need to find ways of coping - knowing what I like to do and how to relax and must make a note of signs that could tell me I could be getting sick again.

Now my brother is suffering severe anxiety and its hard for me to deal with

I Heart Internet

pinkstars wrote: »

Hi all

Never contributed to the thread.
Have been very unwell for over 2 years severe anxiety panic and depression. Am finally back to work. Relationship ended in the end.

I think I just need to find ways of coping - knowing what I like to do and how to relax and must make a note of signs that could tell me I could be getting sick again.

Now my brother is suffering severe anxiety and its hard for me to deal with

Congratulations on going back to work.

My only advice would be to talk to your doctor about Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT). I can't reccomend it hightly enough - particularly for anxiety!

SayWhaaat

Hey guys

So yeah I'm 20 years old and always been positive, motivated, social. Have an amazing partner etc.

Anyways last week I suffered a panic attack from stress over very illogical things (failing college assignments. nothing the end of the world worthy) I had a few nightmares before this so maybe a lack of sleep caused it.

Anyways the anxiety symptoms like the pressing in my chest and heartbeat have worn off, but I've lost all motivation since my panic attack. I still laugh and have fun with my friends, but I'm not "bothered" with nights out or looking forward to anything right now. Even though I have a holiday with my friends and a week away with my partner. When my heart jumped with excitement this day last week for them, this week I'm meh, not that I'm not looking forward to them more rather I'm just "doing" them. It's really concerning as I'm starting to miss looking forward to stuff. It's even affected my sex drive slightly.

Basically in a nutshell it feels like my emotions have been numbed the past 5 days. I know theyre there but theyre not as prominent as before
anyways Im just wondering should I have reason to be concerned? I'm not sad or hopeless or anything and certainly not experiencing despair or suicidal thoughts. I just want to feel that buzz from genuine excitement again?

Can anyone relate or even explain what's happened the last week?

Bench Press

I fell off the wagon..

hollster2

panic/anxiety are the most horrible experience ever i get them alot but have learned to control them i get the overwhelming feeling Im going to die its numbing i can tell when ones coming on so i just go somewhere myself not out just other room close my eyes deep breaths for 5/10 minutes but like that it leaves me shaky off for a few days after them

I Heart Internet

SayWhaaat wrote: »

Hey guys

So yeah I'm 20 years old and always been positive, motivated, social. Have an amazing partner etc.

Anyways last week I suffered a panic attack from stress over very illogical things (failing college assignments. nothing the end of the world worthy) I had a few nightmares before this so maybe a lack of sleep caused it.

Anyways the anxiety symptoms like the pressing in my chest and heartbeat have worn off, but I've lost all motivation since my panic attack. I still laugh and have fun with my friends, but I'm not "bothered" with nights out or looking forward to anything right now. Even though I have a holiday with my friends and a week away with my partner. When my heart jumped with excitement this day last week for them, this week I'm meh, not that I'm not looking forward to them more rather I'm just "doing" them. It's really concerning as I'm starting to miss looking forward to stuff. It's even affected my sex drive slightly.

Basically in a nutshell it feels like my emotions have been numbed the past 5 days. I know theyre there but theyre not as prominent as before
anyways Im just wondering should I have reason to be concerned? I'm not sad or hopeless or anything and certainly not experiencing despair or suicidal thoughts. I just want to feel that buzz from genuine excitement again?

Can anyone relate or even explain what's happened the last week?

My humble two cents, for what it's worth, is that you should allow yourself not to worry about worrying.

Don't worry that you don't feel like you think you should feel about things. So what if you don't feel super excited just now about your upcoming holiday, you'll probably go and have a great time anyway.

SayWhaaat

I Heart Internet wrote: »

My humble two cents, for what it's worth, is that you should allow yourself not to worry about worrying.

Don't worry that you don't feel like you think you should feel about things. So what if you don't feel super excited just now about your upcoming holiday, you'll probably go and have a great time anyway.

Thanks for replying! Yeah I think im sort of prolonging the affects since the panic attack (my first) I've spoken to a few friends who've said I will snap out of it and I do hope I do!

I was moreso wondering how long should I feel like this before I talk to a professional? It just seems the last few days I've stopped enjoying things. I suppose the majority of it is over thinking. I suppose I just feel guilty not being as excited about seeing my friends for a drink or spending a night with my partner as I usually do

delthedriver

Bench Press wrote: »

I fell off the wagon..

Don't panic, you won't get first prize for falling off the wagon.

I am certain many have fallen off before you.

You simply have to pick yourself up and get back on the wagon again

Consider what has caused you to fall off the wagon?

How are you feeling generally?

Have you been in contact with your GP?

You were making good progress, you hit a bump on the road, fell out of the wagon, climb back aboard and continue the journey with us.

We all want the very best for you.

Please take good care of yourself, and stay in touch please.:)

Big Hug from everyone!

delthedriver

SayWhaaat wrote: »

Thanks for replying! Yeah I think im sort of prolonging the affects since the panic attack (my first) I've spoken to a few friends who've said I will snap out of it and I do hope I do!

I was moreso wondering how long should I feel like this before I talk to a professional? It just seems the last few days I've stopped enjoying things. I suppose the majority of it is over thinking. I suppose I just feel guilty not being as excited about seeing my friends for a drink or spending a night with my partner as I usually do

When did you visit your GP last?

Perhaps on your next visit you could mention it in your meeting.

Meanwhile , live life to the full.

Life is for living. Enjoy:)

delthedriver

awny wrote: »

Thanks for the reply. No none of his friends know whats goin on and he wont tell them. Im the only person who he talks to and I also seems to be the one that gets the brunt of it. Two of my sisters are doctors and I was considering asking 1 of them for advice or to talk to him but I think he would go mad. I just dont know what to do anymore.

How well do your sisters know your partner?

If they meet on a regular basis I guess he may feel comfortable chatting with them in general about his issues.

Alternatively , one of your sisters may be able to suggest what is the best course of action.

You obviously love this man, so you are doing what is best for him, even if he does not realise initially. I have no doubt he will appreciate it in the long run.

Don't give up!:)

delthedriver

Call Me Jimmy wrote: »

Del, way to go on staying the course after frustration.

The more I do my college project the more I realise there is to do. The complexity of the topic I chose is stupid considering the things I could have done, but as ever I was disorganised (to put it nicely) at the time of choosing and ended up picking it in a haste. I'm stuck with it now.

The upside is I barely have a moment to consider how utterly pointless it all is as I won't be getting a job with my degree but just doing it for parents, I owe them that and there's just this (hell-of-a) last semester to get through. Then I face a wall of nothingness, that is if I don't have a breakdown between now and then.

Hope everyone's doing well.

Jimmy,

You are a gentleman and a scholar.

The world is a better place with you in it.

I am delighted you are continuing your course. Take it one day at a time.

Thank you sincerely for your support which is greatly appreciated

Have a great weekend

Best Wishes

Del:)

delthedriver

hollster2 wrote: »

thats the part i hate the concentration i feel like Im in my own little bubble walking great for just refreshing your self and mind i think it helps for me just fill bath with radox and soak for a half hr the scent calms me down hope you can sleep tonight!

Thanks Hollster,

You are correct.

Radox certainly helps calm the mind & body.

Will use it again tonight

Cheers

Del:)

SayWhaaat

delthedriver wrote: »

When did you visit your GP last?

Perhaps on your next visit you could mention it in your meeting.

Meanwhile , live life to the full.

Life is for living. Enjoy:)

A few months. Yeah I'll mention it but hopefully this bad week is a memory by the time my next visit comes around. I really feel for some of the people here struggling day to day you have my uthmost respect!

It's really the niggling feeling that's annoying me but it wont stop me enjoying myself. I'm not gonna jump on the anhedonia topic just yet!

Paddy Cow

Gongoozler wrote: »

For people with trouble sleeping, would you consider trying mindfulness? It could help stop your mind racing and it's very relaxing.

What is mindfulness?

Gongoozler

Paddy Cow wrote: »

What is mindfulness?

Not sure i'd be getting it right,but to me it's a sort of meditation. It's all about focusing your mind on your breath and breathing, and about clearing your mind. I think part of the reason for it is to interupt negative thoughts. You should google it,sorry i'm on a ****ty phone,and wouldn't like to think about linking

jaffacakesyum

I finally went to the doc to get started on antidepressants and when she finally got down to it and she said all the possible side effects and talked through starting off on a low dose and coming back in 2 weeks to see how I was tolerating it...it suddenly scared the sh1t out of me. I mean I was avoiding going on medication for years and I knew a fair bit about antidepressants but I guess it was only when I was in the doctors room it was all so...real.

So it's been a week and I haven't filled the prescription. I don't know what to do. I feel like I'm signing my life away because I know you can't start antidepressants and then suddenly stop. I don't want to lose out on my social life by not being able to drink on the medication....it's expensive...there's so many reasons not to go on drugs but nothing's getting better for me, I hate counselling..

I don't know why I'm ranting on here. Did anybody else feel it was a big decision for them to start on antidepressants? Anybody regret it?

playedalive

jaffacakesyum wrote: »

I finally went to the doc to get started on antidepressants and when she finally got down to it and she said all the possible side effects and talked through starting off on a low dose and coming back in 2 weeks to see how I was tolerating it...it suddenly scared the sh1t out of me. I mean I was avoiding going on medication for years and I knew a fair bit about antidepressants but I guess it was only when I was in the doctors room it was all so...real.

So it's been a week and I haven't filled the prescription. I don't know what to do. I feel like I'm signing my life away because I know you can't start antidepressants and then suddenly stop. I don't want to lose out on my social life by not being able to drink on the medication....it's expensive...there's so many reasons not to go on drugs but nothing's getting better for me, I hate counselling..

I don't know why I'm ranting on here. Did anybody else feel it was a big decision for them to start on antidepressants? Anybody regret it?

Yeah it was a tough decision for me. But, I knew I couldn't continue the way I was. I wasn't enjoying my life, couldn't concentrate in College and I was too all over the place for counselling alone to work. But, when I started, I began to feel a lot better in myself. Though, in the past weeks, I've noticed my mood has been dramatically low. I think I might need to go back to my Doctor to check out my medication. I thought it was just because I was stressed over finishing my final year thesis, etc. But, I'm terribly moody and am really numb inside.

jaffacakesyum

playedalive wrote: »

Yeah it was a tough decision for me. But, I knew I couldn't continue the way I was. I wasn't enjoying my life, couldn't concentrate in College and I was too all over the place for counselling alone to work. But, when I started, I began to feel a lot better in myself. Though, in the past weeks, I've noticed my mood has been dramatically low. I think I might need to go back to my Doctor to check out my medication. I thought it was just because I was stressed over finishing my final year thesis, etc. But, I'm terribly moody and am really numb inside.

So medication worked for you initially? Did you feel it was hard on your social life not to drink?

If it helps, I am also in final year and under a lot of stress!! I think that more than anything can affect a person's mood; it's just compounded even harder when you have a history of depression. Not long to go til final year is over though!!

playedalive

jaffacakesyum wrote: »

So medication worked for you initially? Did you feel it was hard on your social life not to drink?

If it helps, I am also in final year and under a lot of stress!! I think that more than anything can affect a person's mood; it's just compounded even harder when you have a history of depression. Not long to go til final year is over though!!

Yeah but now I feel I'm the same as before. As regards drinking, my Doctor said it was ok to have a beer now and then. Just don't do more than 2-3 units. But, at the moment, I stay away from the stuff. Since I'm in my final year, I don't really go drinking much (just coffee, food, walks, etc).

I'm hearing you. I'd say that final year isn't helping, but the effects of anti-depressants have worn on me. Can't wait for it to be over. It'll give me the headspace to get my life back on track.

delthedriver

playedalive wrote: »

Yeah but now I feel I'm the same as before. As regards drinking, my Doctor said it was ok to have a beer now and then. Just don't do more than 2-3 units. But, at the moment, I stay away from the stuff. Since I'm in my final year, I don't really go drinking much (just coffee, food, walks, etc).

I'm hearing you. I'd say that final year isn't helping, but the effects of anti-depressants have worn on me. Can't wait for it to be over. It'll give me the headspace to get my life back on track.

IMO, ease back on the coffee, try replacing some of the coffee with water, too much coffee can have adverse effects on the brain and cause heart palpitations. Plenty of water to keep the body well hydrated. Some people don't like drinking plain water, add a little fruit juice.:)

MagicStars

I went back to the doctor this week and got new antidepressants, the side effects are pretty rough even though I have been only taking them a few days, but they're still a lot better than the last batch I tried. glad I don't have to leave the house. I suppose you really do have to keep trying until you find what works for you. Never thought about drinking on them though, I rarely go out or drink so its not a problem for me.

Esel

awny wrote: »

Two of my sisters are doctors and I was considering asking 1 of them for advice or to talk to him but I think he would go mad. I just dont know what to do anymore.

You might be better talking to your own GP about your concerns. I say this because if/when the time comes to mention that you have asked a doctor for advice, your sister(s) and therefore your family is not involved. Your GP will be able to advise you as the options available and how you might proceed. I hope everything works out OK.

Call Me Jimmy

Lotta action on the thread today that i missed because I actually managed to work without looking at boards all day.

Paddy Cow wrote: »

What is mindfulness?

Let me get this one, but in a rant-about way.

Mindfulness is a powerful way to ground yourself in a world where we take our minds and bodies for granted. With our minds, we assume that we are the pinnacle of evolution and that through our intelligence we know more than others and benefit from this intelligence. While this is partly true in survival and dominance, it is not necessarily true in an experiential sense.
To quote Sir Charles Chaplain:

Sir Charles Chaplin wrote:

"We have developed speed, but we have shut ourselves in. Machinery that gives abundance has left us in want. Our knowledge has made us cynical; our cleverness, hard and unkind. We think too much and feel too little. More than machinery ,we need humanity. More than cleverness, we need kindness and gentleness. Without these qualities, life will be violent and all will be lost. "

What has this got to do with mindfulness? Mindfulness is about moving away from these tendencies to be clever, to be better, to be anything. Thoughts that you take for granted as you 'thinking' them are actually viewed (correctly in my opinion) as events that happen in your mind. A major coping mechanism that can be applied even without sitting still and 'meditating' is the idea of accepting thoughts as events and viewing them on a conveyor belt in your mind. So your brain is factory, the thought, 'I hate my life' comes along on the conveyor belt and mindfulness teaches you to just view it as it comes into view and passively passes along the conveyor belt.

The other part of mindfulness (and that's just a word, it's not a cult) is the acute awareness of the feeling of your body beating with life. Even as I sit here typing, my brain is so involved in what I'm writing I only now just realised that my leg is numb. Ah that's better I moved it. Ok but when you focus on your breathing and enjoying the sensation of breaths for long enough, you become grounded. It differs from meditation in the sense that, you aren't trying to 'meditate' you are just trying to appreciate what it's like to experience yourself. If your mind wanders or it gets bored, all you have to do is focus on your breathing again.

Just as an example, would you say you were actually aware of your hands or legs right now. Can you 'feel' your heart?

Anyway there's no money involved, I'm sure you can read techniques for mindfulness online. If you have despaired at all about the pointlessness of your existence (many haven't) I can tell you, mindfulness is for you. Because for me the pointlessness is only counter-acted by the ability to feel this moment.

playedalive

delthedriver wrote: »

IMO, ease back on the coffee, try replacing some of the coffee with water, too much coffee can have adverse effects on the brain and cause heart palpitations. Plenty of water to keep the body well hydrated. Some people don't like drinking plain water, add a little fruit juice.:)

Yeah, I know what you mean. I've limited it to 1-2 cups a day. The rest of the time is decaff. Even in college, I try to bring in hot cup soup and buy hot water. It helps me to resist the temptation for a coffee. But, still I sometimes feel the need for a caffeine boost to get me through my crappy degree course.

I've decided that I'm going to go back to my Doctor and get my meds checked over (haven't seen him since December). I think my low mood is down to many things. Not just final year. Hanging in there!

nesf

Gongoozler wrote: »

Not sure i'd be getting it right,but to me it's a sort of meditation. It's all about focusing your mind on your breath and breathing, and about clearing your mind. I think part of the reason for it is to interupt negative thoughts. You should google it,sorry i'm on a ****ty phone,and wouldn't like to think about linking

No, no!

Mindfulness is more about observing than clearing the mind. E.g. doing a breathing exercise where you focus completely on the sensation of breathing, stuff will pop into your mind, that's fine you observe it (don't judge it) and leave it pass away at its own speed and then return your focus to the breath. Repeat for however long as you want. There are other exercises other than focusing on breath and different ways of meditating on breath etc but just read around, experiment and find what works for you.


The whole empty mind thing is more of a Zen Buddhist meditation technique (I know next to nothing about it) which is quite different.

Call Me Jimmy

incredibly low - to the point where i am questioning the most basic of things. leaves, trees branches, i'm proper ****ed