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LETS ALL LAUGH AT PEOPLE WITH DEPRESSION!!
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I think your body dysmorphic disorder tendency may have latched onto your hair issue to re-appear, if you know what I mean.
Are there any techniques you learned during your BDD-related counselling that you could apply to your current situation? If so, put them back into practice! If not, I think it would be a very good idea for you to get counselling about how you feel about your hair loss. It is something that you absolutely need to come to terms with - to accept, if you will. If you were happy with the counsellor you used for the BDD, then schedule some sessions with them - if not, then find another counsellor (via your GP preferably - at least use someone accredited to a professional body). Do this soon - set a reminder in your phone maybe?
Without knowing you, I would think that you are losing some hair, not that you have lost all your hair (because this would be very rare indeed). This happens to most men sooner or later - in your case, sooner! (them's the breaks...
) And it normally takes a good number of years to progress to anything that could reasonably be described as being bald. Hair loss happens to some women too - just pause for a minute and imagine how that must feel for them.
If, when you see your image (important, that - your image, not you) you see an old person, when in fact you are a young man (and to an objective, impartial observer you are a young man), then that sounds like a bit of the auld dysmorphia to me.....
TL/DR Hang in there, man. Other people don't see what you think they see. Don't beat yourself up.
Esel, thanks again for your thoughtful reply. I had BDD-related counselling when I was a bit younger read: at a different maturity level. It was CBT and although I understood it logically and all that, it didn't help during times of pain. CBT seems to be the single form of counselling at this stage.
You are right in that I've not yet gone bowling-ball bald, I have lost my fringe completely though and there are days when I embrace the world with this new image and try and think of all the people I respect and who have done pretty well in life despite hair loss. My cousins boyfriend in particular, he doesn't shave his head and he's lost a bit more than me I think. His attitude is rock solid. Mine is getting there some days, some days not (as you might have noticed).
For me its a stubborness, I had so many years where aunties (lol) and acquaintences said I had model looks that I didn't believe, I truly truly didn't believe and I wouldn't believe now. I spent all those years in bathroom washing my face, huddled in a corner crying at the sight or thought of myself. The main thing was, everybody else had this really 'normal' look and it seemed (and still seems) that I just stand out as a very odd configuration of features (that's putting it nicely).
So now that I am finally accepting of my face, I know its not perfect or anything but I think I've really accepted it... now that I have done that, you're right the BDD has moved to my hair and skull. But not without it being rooted in truth. I just wish for those years where I wasn't going bald, I just wish I could have not had the worrying.
Really appreciate ye talking to me about it man! I feel like you must know the score0 -
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Gongoozler wrote: »No I don't know that.
what a waste of a life. it'll take some time to properly come round to the idea, but yeah there's no point in continuing
Go for a walk, just get out of the house and I know this may seem impossible, but distract yourself. Even watch an episode of your favourite programme or turn on some Disney songs and shout along with them.
My boyfriend holds way too much power over my moods as well
I know how hard it can be.
Call a friend. Chat, laugh, try forget0 -
danslevent wrote: »Go for a walk, just get out of the house and I know this may seem impossible, but distract yourself. Even watch an episode of your favourite programme or turn on some Disney songs and shout along with them.
My boyfriend holds way too much power over my moods as well I know how hard it can be.
Call a friend. Chat, laugh, try forget
Oh I juuuust cant wait to be king! *ahem* I'm a hard-man me.0 -
Gongoozler wrote: »For people with trouble sleeping, would you consider trying mindfulness? It could help stop your mind racing and it's very relaxing.
Yes, I'd recommend Mindfulness too 0 -
What is mindfulness?Call Me Jimmy wrote: »Lotta action on the thread today that i missed because I actually managed to work without looking at boards all day.
Let me get this one, but in a rant-about way.
Mindfulness is a powerful way to ground yourself in a world where we take our minds and bodies for granted. With our minds, we assume that we are the pinnacle of evolution and that through our intelligence we know more than others and benefit from this intelligence. While this is partly true in survival and dominance, it is not necessarily true in an experiential sense.
To quote Sir Charles Chaplain:
What has this got to do with mindfulness? Mindfulness is about moving away from these tendencies to be clever, to be better, to be anything. Thoughts that you take for granted as you 'thinking' them are actually viewed (correctly in my opinion) as events that happen in your mind. A major coping mechanism that can be applied even without sitting still and 'meditating' is the idea of accepting thoughts as events and viewing them on a conveyor belt in your mind. So your brain is factory, the thought, 'I hate my life' comes along on the conveyor belt and mindfulness teaches you to just view it as it comes into view and passively passes along the conveyor belt.
The other part of mindfulness (and that's just a word, it's not a cult) is the acute awareness of the feeling of your body beating with life. Even as I sit here typing, my brain is so involved in what I'm writing I only now just realised that my leg is numb. Ah that's better I moved it. Ok but when you focus on your breathing and enjoying the sensation of breaths for long enough, you become grounded. It differs from meditation in the sense that, you aren't trying to 'meditate' you are just trying to appreciate what it's like to experience yourself. If your mind wanders or it gets bored, all you have to do is focus on your breathing again.
Just as an example, would you say you were actually aware of your hands or legs right now. Can you 'feel' your heart?
Anyway there's no money involved, I'm sure you can read techniques for mindfulness online. If you have despaired at all about the pointlessness of your existence (many haven't) I can tell you, mindfulness is for you. Because for me the pointlessness is only counter-acted by the ability to feel this moment.No, no!
Mindfulness is more about observing than clearing the mind. E.g. doing a breathing exercise where you focus completely on the sensation of breathing, stuff will pop into your mind, that's fine you observe it (don't judge it) and leave it pass away at its own speed and then return your focus to the breath. Repeat for however long as you want. There are other exercises other than focusing on breath and different ways of meditating on breath etc but just read around, experiment and find what works for you.
The whole empty mind thing is more of a Zen Buddhist meditation technique (I know next to nothing about it) which is quite different.Anyone found any solution for distracting yourself from a big trauma from the past. Im not talking about dealing with it altogether - i get counselling. But still i wake up days where my thoughts are all of that incident and i cant enjoy any part of a normal day. Really need some distraction techniques.
Hi Reg 12, I find Mindfulness good as a help to psychotherapy. Psychotherapy will hopefully help you get to the root of your trauma but as you say you need something that can help you in the meantime. I have included quotes from others here if you have never heard of Mindfulness. You would need to practice it daily to benefit fully from it, not just doing it when you are under stress. There are various on line places where you can download audio tracks to listen to. I'd really recommend doing the 8 week course a lot of practitioners offer. Some of these practitioners offer introductory evenings for a nominal fee where you could try it and see if it's for you. I don't know where you live but if you want I could give you the contact details of people I have done Mindfulness with in Galway. (One of them is doing a 2 day non residential workshop in Galway in a couple of weeks time.)
Hope this helps.0 -
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lighthouse wrote: »
Mod note: please don't post mobile numbers
Sorry about that but that number is publicly available on a holotropic website, didn't think there would be a problem
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lighthouse wrote: »Sorry about that but that number is publicly available on a holotropic website, didn't think there would be a problem
As long as you're not connected to the website, perhaps linking to it would be a better idea 0 -
Deleted User wrote: »As long as you're not connected to the website, perhaps linking to it would be a better idea
No I'm not connected to it but have done holotropic breathwork there. If anyone is interested I can put up the link 0 -
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boomtown123 wrote: »Hearing about all these people committing suicide is scaring me. I wasn't already in the best of moods but just found out another guy - 24 down the road passed away on Wednesday. Devastated. Can't stop crying.
Sorry to hear that boomtown. did ye know him at all well or what? Not the first in recent times in your area or do you mean in Ireland?
Someone said recently (probably delthedriver ) that crying is nature's release valve for us. I'd nearly enjoy a cry now myself so shed a few literally for me 0 -
Call Me Jimmy wrote: »Sorry to hear that boomtown. did ye know him at all well or what? Not the first in recent times in your area or do you mean in Ireland?
Someone said recently (probably delthedriver ) that crying is nature's release valve for us. I'd nearly enjoy a cry now myself so shed a few literally for me
No I didn't know him that well but he's around the same age as my two brothers. I just can't stop thinking if it was one of them (a bit selfish probably) but can't even imagine what his parents and sisters must be feeling.
Not the first in my area. I know a total of 6 people directly and indirectly now. Its getting very scary.
Plenty of tears going here. They've been kept in for a while. Thanks for your reply:) . Listen to a sad song or watch a sad movie. I know it sounds a bit silly but often acts as a trigger to let off some emotions. 0 -
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I was sick and tired of the condition I don't want to call it mine because I don't want to own it forever. I suffered depression in moderate stages, the worst one was after giving birth to my lovely son. all I got was drugs, drugs drugs, nothing fecking else. Doctors sitting there behind the desk asking how are you today "we think you should increase the dosage" . We won't force you but its for your own good.
there was no offer of therapy of any shape and I was just fed up with the drugs after so many years. The drug started to give me severe side effects.
I asked for re assesment and you know what, I didn't get it. So I made my own decision, my brain said its ready. my body screamed for attention.
Here I am, 6 months free of medication still holding on to my life.
I try meditation, finding ways to overcome my "sad" mood. I accepted I cry alot, it helps me, when I have anxiety attack I breath and breath, I know its there, I tell it to my husband but despite the fears I keep going. it passes eventually, but what make me going is the knowledge about the condition, knowledge about how to deal with it... knowledge is the key.
I still do have bad days and don't want to get out of bed (especially with this weather) but I try to switch it off.
it is hard to live with someone who is struggling with depression, I find hard to live with myself but understanding, NOT running away when someones cry is a great help. Just be there. 0 -
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I'm stuck in my own head today. Had an intense week and I just don't feel I can face the world anymore
Same here. Because of College/work, I'm always in my own head. Can't wait to be finished with Academia.
Maybe draw a bath/ have a nice shower. Then, a cup of tea. I find just breaking the trance helps. Plus, a bath/shower helps me to relax. 0
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