LETS ALL LAUGH AT PEOPLE WITH DEPRESSION!!

KingOfFairview

What's weird is how lonely you can feel - I'm surrounded by close family and good friends yet I often feel so alone

delthedriver

Deleted User wrote: »

I guess but I wish I was made differently. In so so many aspects. It doesn't comfort me to know that I'm unique 'cause everyone else is too! There's nothing special about that.


I know I'm young but it really doesn't feel like that sometimes. I feel about 16 in my head but then if I see teenagers on the street it makes me feel like I'm about 50.


Gym's too expensive, I'm terrible at team sports and I haven't been on a bike since I was about 10 and fell off one. I go walking every so often and have a pedometer to help but it's rainy over here at the moment which is a big deterrent.


Thing is I don't believe in a "right person", all I'm looking for is someone who's a bit less wrong than others! And it's not like I'm looking to settle down and be with someone forever or anything, I just wish there was someone that wouldn't coil in horror at the prospect of dating me. Of course, if I ever do have a relationship again there's the obstacle of disclosing my "illness" to them. Twice I've been dumped because I was deemed "too difficult" to be with, despite me being nothing but 100% honest about my depression and giving them plenty of get-out chances before things got serious.




I don't know, I'm just sick of nights out now. Anytime I go to a club I basically lose my friends ('cause they're all off pulling or something) and so I just spend way too much time and money at the bar. Alone.

I normally vent my frustrations on Twitter but my brother-in-law started following me so I have to be careful what I say. The one thing I've always done with my depression is keep it away from my family; I don't want them to just see me as their depressed son/brother and they have enough other crap to deal with besides worrying about me. I know they know about it but they also know I don't want them involved, and thus far they've respected that.

Homer,
Apart from medication, have you discussed with your GP about the option of Counselling . How often do you meet with your GP? Could a change in your meds improve your situation? Take good care of yourself..Please keep posting here.

TeddyTedson

Jupitorkid, you need to make small steps to overcome this.
Anxiety I find is either growing or dying, never stagnant.
You've got an awesome username by the way!

delthedriver

delthedriver wrote: »

Homer,
Apart from medication, have you discussed with your GP about the option of Counselling . How often do you meet with your GP? Could a change in your meds improve your situation? Take good care of yourself..Please keep posting here.

I see her every 2 or 3 weeks but it's a university GP and they have time constraints so I only get to see her for 10 minutes a t a time.
I've already had my meds increased, now on maximum dose of Efexor, which used work for me before but now I suffer severe withdrawal symptoms if I miss even a single dose.
I'm on a waiting list to see a CBT person. not sure what else I can do in meantime. I'm glad I live in the UK now though 'cause the NHS is so much better than the HSE. When September comes I may have to go back home and that thought terrifies me...

delthedriver

Deleted User wrote: »

I see her every 2 or 3 weeks but it's a university GP and they have time constraints so I only get to see her for 10 minutes a t a time.
I've already had my meds increased, now on maximum dose of Efexor, which used work for me before but now I suffer severe withdrawal symptoms if I miss even a single dose.
I'm on a waiting list to see a CBT person. not sure what else I can do in meantime. I'm glad I live in the UK now though 'cause the NHS is so much better than the HSE. When September comes I may have to go back home and that thought terrifies me...

From experience, CBT works very well. It would be worth following up on getting an appointment. Meanwhile are there group sessions available through local NHS.? Effexor is a very good drug, try not to miss a dose. To be fair the HSE is not as bag as people envisage, perhaps depends on location.

JupiterKid

TeddyTedson wrote: »

Jupitorkid, you need to make small steps to overcome this.
Anxiety I find is either growing or dying, never stagnant.
You've got an awesome username by the way!

Thanks Teddy - one thing that certainly doesn't help anxiety is the bottle and that's why I'm trying to kick it for good.

Call Me Jimmy

KingOfFairview wrote: »

What's weird is how lonely you can feel - I'm surrounded by close family and good friends yet I often feel so alone

I wonder is this the result of assuming that there is more going on in our heads than appears to be going on in other peoples heads based on our perspective of them? Leading to an assumption of ever-increasing distance between our inner circumstances and those of the rest of society?

Reality might be that our minds are doing much the same as other people's, other people might not have gotten into a habit of indulging the thoughts for long, maybe our minds are more vulnerable to these thoughts and are more likely to be anchored by them...

Not sure but it's all I can think of in terms of loneliness while surrounded by people.

delthedriver

delthedriver wrote: »

From experience, CBT works very well. It would be worth following up on getting an appointment. Meanwhile are there group sessions available through local NHS.? Effexor is a very good drug, try not to miss a dose. To be fair the HSE is not as bag as people envisage, perhaps depends on location.

I signed up with local counselling service and they're the ones who arranged for me to go on waiting list for CBT professional. There's not much my GP can do with the time constraints, and I can't really afford time-wise to find a GP with more time to dedicate to me.

Thanks for the concern, I appreciate it. Efexor used work for me before (especially when Lexapro stopped working) but I'm worried I may need something else now. Also I never used get withdrawal symptoms from missing a dose; before I could go nearly a week without taking my meds and I'd still be fine, whereas now even a 24 hour gap makes me feel noticeably more down.

pinkstars

delthedriver wrote: »

Wow! You certainly have a lot on your plate and can understand how you are feeling . Nonetheless all these challenges thrown at us can be dealt with in time
As I said in my earlier post which crossed with your latest post, you need to look after yourself first. Please consult with your GP as early as possible. You need to get assistance and support from your GP . It would cheer me up greatly today if you confirm this pm that you have made an appointment to see your GP.
Please keep posting

Thanks for yer help.

I contacted my GP and mental health daycare centre. I was told as ye said that I need to put myself first. They sort of said too that I can take an extra half of a valium when I asked. I have taken a whole one already today which I feel terrible for, but I was so bad in work this morning.

pinkstars

Live in the Now, no one knows what the future holds. Go out there and enjoy life, ask someone out to dinner or a movie,it isn't like you are committing yourself to marry them. Of course they may be the right person for you and hey if there is a whirlwind romance I expect an invitation to the big day.
Ok it is a pity you did not go out tonight, but there will be plenty more occasions. Life is for living , go grab it!

I love this advice!

delthedriver

pinkstars wrote: »

Thanks for yer help.

I contacted my GP and mental health daycare centre. I was told as ye said that I need to put myself first. They sort of said too that I can take an extra half of a valium when I asked. I have taken a whole one already today which I feel terrible for, but I was so bad in work this morning.

My pleasure.
Just take it easy this evening, a gentle stroll for 30 mins may help clear the head. You owe this to yourself . Me Time! Try and get a little extra sleep too, you need to give your body and mind time to recover.
Trust me, this will all pass, a little patience and time. You absolutely must put your own health first.
Worrying about everyone else is like trying to put out the fire in your neighbours kitchen, while your own house is burning to the ground. It is not a case of being selfish, if you don't get your own health sorted first, you are in no position to help anyone else..
Be very gentle and kind to yourself
Best wishes

Clandestine

Just realised I've never felt genuinely appreciated in my life. I know there are people who really do like me, but maybe I've dealt with rejection and criticism too many times in my life. When I get complimented I don't care, maybe subconsciously I don't trust their praise.

Esel

Deleted User wrote: »

I go walking every so often and have a pedometer to help but it's rainy over here at the moment which is a big deterrent.

Walk, even if it is raining! Either wear a waterproof jacket and trousers, or carry a big umbrella. You say 'rainy over here' though - if you mean monsoon-type rain, or if you live somewhere with a rainy season, then you should follow the local custom / wisdom!

Even if your clothes are not waterproof, as long as you take them off when you get home you will be fine - provided of course that you have not been walking for hours and hours in wet clothes - hypothermia would then be a possibility, and that is something to definitely avoid!

Don't scrunch up your face against the rain - it does not really make much difference, and imo doing this can contribute to feeling down. Just my 2c.

However, if it is just a shower, then taking shelter is often the best option. Be aware though that a secondary shower can often follow, so do not set off immediately after the shower stops. Unless you must get to your destination regardless, taking shelter is usually the best option.

Esel

Call Me Jimmy wrote: »

I wonder is this the result of assuming that there is more going on in our heads than appears to be going on in other peoples heads based on our perspective of them? Leading to an assumption of ever-increasing distance between our inner circumstances and those of the rest of society?

Reality might be that our minds are doing much the same as other people's, other people might not have gotten into a habit of indulging the thoughts for long, maybe our minds are more vulnerable to these thoughts and are more likely to be anchored by them...

Not sure but it's all I can think of in terms of loneliness while surrounded by people.

Deep stuff there, CMJ!

Maybe I'm reading it wrongly, but what your post said to me was this: people do not see us as we might think they do. They do not see us as a fat person, a thin person, a bald person, a short person - they just see us as a person. In general, people are nice.

Bottom line: other people are not looking at you. If they do happen to be looking at you though, they are usually not judging you in a negative way.

Scumbags apart, obviously. But most people (including you and me) are not scumbags.

The above also applies to dogs, albeit at a different level. The vast majority of dogs are happy to meet another dog - waggy tails, a few sniffs, maybe a bark or two, then they go on their way. Seasonal variations apart, obviously!

Boogietime

Clandestine wrote: »

Just realised I've never felt genuinely appreciated in my life. I know there are people who really do like me, but maybe I've dealt with rejection and criticism too many times in my life. When I get complimented I don't care, maybe subconsciously I don't trust their praise.

That's ok, you don't even need that.
What I think is going on is that you've been let down or you think that you let yourself down.
You might have it handy to start trusting yourself again to the point where you don't really care what others make of you. I mean keeping a normal sense of things but trusting in yourself can give you the positive feeling you're seeking.

Chin up, soldier!

Mam of 4

Haven't posted in here in a long time,just said I'd give a quick update on how my son's getting on.

Like everyone else, good days and bad. Positive note-he has a great therapist who he really connected with, she's going to start CBT shortly with him when she thinks he's ready for it. He started Group Therapy but that didn't work, set him back a bit.Therapist said he had being doing so well she thought it would help but she and him realised it was a bit much , too soon.

We're still trying to stay positive, finding something good in everyday,no matter how small it may seem.As we both say-baby steps Oh , and he joined a kenpo karate class which he enjoys, helps him focus.

Me, I'd just like to say,thanks for letting me pop in and out of here, I can relate to what ppl say, it helps me to try help my son as best as I can.

Good luck and many well wishes to everyone, keep up the fight pls, you are all worth it, believe me.

Boogietime

Mam of 4 wrote: »

Haven't posted in here in a long time,just said I'd give a quick update on how my son's getting on.

Like everyone else, good days and bad. Positive note-he has a great therapist who he really connected with, she's going to start CBT shortly with him when she thinks he's ready for it. He started Group Therapy but that didn't work, set him back a bit.Therapist said he had being doing so well she thought it would help but she and him realised it was a bit much , too soon.

We're still trying to stay positive, finding something good in everyday,no matter how small it may seem.As we both say-baby steps Oh , and he joined a kenpo karate class which he enjoys, helps him focus.

Me, I'd just like to say,thanks for letting me pop in and out of here, I can relate to what ppl say, it helps me to try help my son as best as I can.

Good luck and many well wishes to everyone, keep up the fight pls, you are all worth it, believe me.

Keep up the good fight, your son is grateful and proud of you for being beside him, trust me on this one.

Mam of 4

Boogietime, thank you. It's hard at times, he's 19 now, he tells me I need to push him, drag him out of bed if need be But as a mam I sometimes feel like I'm just being a nag! We'll get there, we all will.

Morag

Week 4 of being on meds and I am passed the horrible side effects even after having the intro dose doubled to a working dose. Have noticed a huge change in my thinking processes, not as lost and unfocused, just need to work on undoing the bad habits I developed in the 3 months when I was not coping.

Boogietime

Mam of 4 wrote: »

Boogietime, thank you. It's hard at times, he's 19 now, he tells me I need to push him, drag him out of bed if need be But as a mam I sometimes feel like I'm just being a nag! We'll get there, we all will.

Newsflash: you are a nag, sometimes.
And That Is Alright, for real.

I bet you that even your son, in the condition he's in, understands that it's for the best of him. Push through and don't overdo nagging though


Well put, we'll all get there. Yay! :cool:

Morag

Mam of 4 wrote: »

Boogietime, thank you. It's hard at times, he's 19 now, he tells me I need to push him, drag him out of bed if need be But as a mam I sometimes feel like I'm just being a nag! We'll get there, we all will.

We nag because we care, if you didn't care you'd leave him to stagnate

RossFixxxed

Mam of 4 wrote: »

Boogietime, thank you. It's hard at times, he's 19 now, he tells me I need to push him, drag him out of bed if need be But as a mam I sometimes feel like I'm just being a nag! We'll get there, we all will.

You're doing an absolutely brilliant thing, with compassion and understanding. Every mum gets a bit 'naggy' at times.

The alternative is to leave him rot, and BELIEVE ME, that does not lead to good things!

I could use some good nagging and I'm 31!!

Mam of 4

Thanks everyone for your comments, it's a great source of support in here for me, just to know I'm doing the right thing

Free nagging for anyone in need of it

Wattle

I'm a month off sleeping pills today. Severe sleep disturbance seems to be behind me now after a bout of rebound insomnia. I'm now sleeping solidy through the night. Wake up feeling refreshed now. It makes such a huge difference the next day.

Boogietime

Wattle wrote: »

I'm a month off sleeping pills today. Severe sleep disturbance seems to be behind me now after a bout of rebound insomnia. I'm now sleeping solidy through the night. Wake up feeling refreshed now. It makes such a huge difference the next day.

Sleep deprivation is a known factor that induces depression by depriving you of vitamin D assimilation.

Also sun deprivation is a factor, enjoy every bit of a sunny patch that you can, especially with the moody weather we've been getting lately.

Sun exposure is a great way to make your body synthesize vitamin D!

Wattle

Boogietime wrote: »

Sleep deprivation is a known factor that induces depression by depriving you of vitamin D assimilation.

Also sun deprivation is a factor, enjoy every bit of a sunny patch that you can, especially with the moody weather we've been getting lately.

Sun exposure is a great way to make your body synthesize vitamin D!

Yes I certainly did struggle through the last few weeks. I don't think I felt depressed as such just heavy and sluggish.

As for sunshine yes I agree. Maybe one of the reasons that depression is so prevelant in this country is our lack of sunlight. I'm staring at a blanket of grey skies here in Galway. On the rare occasions we get a good sunny spell everybody seems to be in a better mood.

spot_light

one symptom I have is that im regulary bombarded with barbed comments from the past which were uttered by people who meant me real harm

I sometimes find myself quoting these comments towards myself as if they were fact

depression improves your memory of past negative experiences

delthedriver

A few quick comments,

1. Mam, you are doing a wonderful job. Without your 'nagging' your son may not be in the good position he is in now. You love him , care for him, support him, you are a wonderful Mam, just like mine.


2. The moody blues. Yes perhaps we are all suffering from a lack of sunlight. It has been a long winter, with very little sunlight during Spring. However as the year moves on the sun is stronger. Get out there at every opportunity, the sun is penetrating through the cloud. So 30 to 60 mins outdoor exercise can do the power of good. If you feel you still need extra sunlight, a light box is available to purchase on line from Medical Suppliers for €60 approx. worth looking into.

Finally be well, stay well, be kind and gentle to yourself!

Boogietime

spot_light wrote: »

one symptom I have is that im regulary bombarded with barbed comments from the past which were uttered by people who meant me real harm

I sometimes find myself quoting these comments towards myself as if they were fact

depression improves your memory of past negative experiences

Finding trust in yourself might be difficult at first but it will prove easier as time goes by. You really need to fight those fears away and stop caring about what some bullies might have said in the past.
Heh, thinking about it, it makes you happy to be living in the now, rather than then.
So what if they were mean? Is it any good for you to be mean to yourself? Have faith, soldier. Sunshine is coming our way!

K-9

Mam of 4 wrote: »

Thanks everyone for your comments, it's a great source of support in here for me, just to know I'm doing the right thing

Free nagging for anyone in need of it

Nagging is a good thing, somebody there to remind you to do simple things, helps you to keep some focus on the reality and everyday life, and sure what else is an Irish Mammy for?

It's something particularly important for people who live alone, ring them, call to them, if they don't answer send them a text saying you'll break in a window until they answer.