LETS ALL LAUGH AT PEOPLE WITH DEPRESSION!!

delthedriver

candycock wrote: »

i really wish i was'nt hear anymore,i have no close friends to even talk to,most have emigrated,my parents dont want to no,im nearly 30 an my mind is in hell rite now.im working 60 hours aweek,i asked to cut my hours but i was told if i did'nt like it someone else would do it and i cant afford to leave.my mind wont stop racing,any suggestions how i can get some peace of mind or lift my mood,life is getting harder every day.

May I suggest consulting with your GP as early as possible. You are undoubtedly suffering from stress caused by various factors, work being one of them.
You need rest and time to take stock of what is happening in your life, in particular your health.
Having been a soldier with similar issues in the past, trust me, a visit to your GP will be the first step towards getting your health , life back on track.
Most importantly, be kind to yourself and live one day at a time.
Please make that call to your GP ASAP.
Best wishes
Del

Boogietime

candycock wrote: »

i really wish i was'nt hear anymore,i have no close friends to even talk to,most have emigrated,my parents dont want to no,im nearly 30 an my mind is in hell rite now.im working 60 hours aweek,i asked to cut my hours but i was told if i did'nt like it someone else would do it and i cant afford to leave.my mind wont stop racing,any suggestions how i can get some peace of mind or lift my mood,life is getting harder every day.

Hey man, it seems that you have a little rough patch there. Don't you worry, I know it sounds silly but at least it can't get worse
Just try to relax, I'm sure you can find a couple of hours to go outside in the sun and walk in the park a little bit.

Also you might be better off by putting a little bit of distance between yourself and the reasons that you're so brought down... people, habits, places, anything that could bring you down. Eliminate those by putting distance from them and you'll be grand!

And don't forget the sun, it's really important that he sees you everyday, even if it's just a little bit.
For example, when I'm down I love to go in the park and read a book. That helps me a lot!
Keep your chin up soldier, you'll be grand!

Lightbulb Sun

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Well yes, if I had some physical ailment like diabetes that hindered me I would have told them. But I guess mental illnesses are so much harder to prove, they might just think I was looking for excuses. And then there's the whole stigma about it; I don't know if diabetes would be a big turn-off for an employer but I suspect mental illness would be.

I saw my doctor today, and she advised me to talk to my tutor if it turns out that I did fail the exam as there might be a possibility to resit it without it being capped or something like that. Then got an email from our tutor to say he wouldn't be there the day we were due to get our results and another lecturer would give us our transcripts, so I'm not really sure what to do now. He (the tutor) said if we wanted to arrange a meeting to email him, but I'm not sure whether to do it before or after getting the results. Ugh, I just don't know what to do really.

Also my parents are coming to visit, which is good 'cause it'll be nice to see them again but it also means I'm gonna be pretending to be ok and that everything is fine 'cause I really don't want to worry them.

One thing I've noticed from your last few posts is the amount of presumption in them that things are going to end badly. E. G employers reactions to job interviews. Your qualifications sound more than decent and are more than many have out there. Without the evidence of these bad outcomes I think it's way too damaging to preoccupy yourself so much with it.

Lightbulb Sun

Lightbulb Sun wrote: »

One thing I've noticed from your last few posts is the amount of presumption in them that things are going to end badly. E. G employers reactions to job interviews. Your qualifications sound more than decent and are more than many have out there. Without the evidence of these bad outcomes I think it's way too damaging to preoccupy yourself so much with it.

I guess I've always been that way. Presume everything will go bad and at least you're prepared for disappointment and able to live with it. If I was less presumptious and more optimistic, how crushing would it be if things went as badly, or even worse? Genuinely don't think I could survive a blow like that. Optimism, to me, sounds extremely dangerous.

I've never been a great believer of "you get out what you put in"; I just think it's a way too simplistic way of looking at the world. I mean I'm sure it's true a lot of the time but there are always gonna be anomalies. You can put nothing in and get lucky, you could put everything in and get nowhere. Am still on waiting list for CBT, I know that's supposed to help with combatting these sorts of beliefs. But I don't see how I'm supposed to reject negative thoughts due to lack of evidence to justify them, and yet simultaneously embrace positive thoughts that I have a similar lack of justification for.

Call Me Jimmy

Deleted User wrote: »

But I don't see how I'm supposed to reject negative thoughts due to lack of evidence to justify them, and yet simultaneously embrace positive thoughts that I have a similar lack of justification for.

That is a good point, and one I thought about when doing CBT. But I think you will find you have embraced negative thoughts and rejected positive thoughts so far in your life more often then not, both with the similar lack of justification. It may be worth just flipping that around or at least not not change things because of this lack of justification. Sorry, very inarticulate tonight.

I am in a similar situation in that the negativity has become a part of me unfortunately. It wasn't always obviously, but it feels like I can hardly remember feeling confident about anything. There is a condition, I think it is recognised in psychiatric discourse as a helpless personality (something along those lines) where the person feels completely dependent, a lot more than they actually are.
Just mentioning because crazy stuff is going through my head that I might be a psychopath, sociopath, at least in an unrecoverable state. As ye's know I do a lot of work mentally, the last couple of days have seen me doing an extreme amount of medidation but at the end of it all I think rationally:

I have body dysmorphic disorder and associated depression. Today is one of the days where I know this to be true. It first affected my confidence about my appearance, then my confidence in my personal and social abilities (which used to be sh!t hot I think (probably rose-tinted sh!t-hot). Finally, my confidence in work and doing almost anything went and that's where I am now. I've lost confidence in very simple mental tasks, and I feel like a baby sometimes. Most days I feel trapped, and even more days I feel troubled as my personality sinks lower and lower inside me and I'm beginning to have serious difficulties communicating, and I'm not even talking on an emotional level.

I generally become so self-conscious in conversations that all I'm thinking about is their perspective of my skin and my hair, also how I'm standing and exactly how much eye contact I'm giving/not giving. I barely hear the words people say to me now, I'm like a deaf person taking all cues from their facial expressions. If I see a glint in their eye or a crease forming at the edge of their mouth I basically mirror it. If this expression goes away, I do the same.

I haven't projected my personality my true, what I would call 'old personality' in at least 3 years. At a party at the weekend I was reminded of the contrast between me now and when I was about 15 (when preoccupation with appearance began in earnest). Back then I would have been jumping around the place, talking to every single girl in the place, getting things going, having a laugh, not giving a **** basically. Now I'm so afraid of people thinking I'm wierd (because I feel I look wierd) I barely open my mouth or even try to make girls laugh (I can't even be near them at this stage). Haven't touched a person (more or less, shook hands with my dad when finished college) in at least a year.

I try to stay strong, nobody has any idea how much, I mean almost 24/7 work on myself to keep myself from REALLY going down.

Thanks for reading, just started writing a reply and then felt like writing more

roseybear

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Well yes, if I had some physical ailment like diabetes that hindered me I would have told them. But I guess mental illnesses are so much harder to prove, they might just think I was looking for excuses. And then there's the whole stigma about it; I don't know if diabetes would be a big turn-off for an employer but I suspect mental illness would be.

I saw my doctor today, and she advised me to talk to my tutor if it turns out that I did fail the exam as there might be a possibility to resit it without it being capped or something like that. Then got an email from our tutor to say he wouldn't be there the day we were due to get our results and another lecturer would give us our transcripts, so I'm not really sure what to do now. He (the tutor) said if we wanted to arrange a meeting to email him, but I'm not sure whether to do it before or after getting the results. Ugh, I just don't know what to do really.

Also my parents are coming to visit, which is good 'cause it'll be nice to see them again but it also means I'm gonna be pretending to be ok and that everything is fine 'cause I really don't want to worry them.

listen to the doc, tell ur tutor now before u gt the results do a plan can b put in place. This is so common ppl just dnt talk about it, I know of at least 3 other ppl in my class in college who went and did the same thing, all either passrd r gt a resit, and all did nt have the fact they had depression hold them bck regarding gtting jobs

pinkstars

Ok I have been to the doctor 4th week in a row.
My smartphone broke and thought that was the reason I am getting panic attacks and depression!!

When I mentioned it to her she said course it could be a reason as I have mindfulness on it as well as everything else.

It is currently being repaired and I will not have it for another few weeks.

I am not due and upgrade but was thinking do I spend €600 to buy the phone outright and sell the one I get back after being repaired. I don't know what to do. The doctor says as I am using it during the day to do my mindfulness that it is a back up coping mechanism. I have had to leave the office early every day and at 12.30 yesterday because of panic attacks.

Oh what to do.

RossFixxxed

christ on a bike! wrote: »

I think if we all exercised more that there wouldn't be any depression. Or very little anyway

Is this sarcasm? Am I missing the joke? What I can see is one of the stupidest posts I have ever read in my life. I'm absolutely gob smacked this attitude is still about.

You might as well tell someone who has been kneecapped to take up cycling! I hope, for your sake, you never suffer something like this and get told to get some exercise and you'll be grand while your whole life goes into freefall around you.

Feeling bad or down is NOT the same as depression. Read that again. Here I'll say it again: Feeling bad or down is NOT the same as depression.

The supidity of your post is astounding and I hope you take the time to do soem research or talk to some people about these things. You need an education.

Your attitude is part of the stigma that is levelled at people with a serious, life destroying condition (in some cases). Ah sure you'll be grand, go out for a stroll.

What about someone with PTSD say? What should they do to cure it? Eat a carrot? Or someone who is schizophrinic? Knitting?

****ING EXERCISE will cure it? Jesus wept. Congratulations you actually broke my brain with your idiotic posting.

You clearly have NO understanding where these people are coming from and your glib attitude is a real knock back for people. Have some basic human empathy and understanding for others.

If your mother died and I said ah sure drink some water and you won't be sad you'd be furious at me. That's what you're doing.

ANYONE WHO OFFERS A QUICK FIX SOLUTION TO AN IMMENSELY COMPLIATED ISSUE IS TO BE AVOIDED AT ALL COSTS.

RossFixxxed

pinkstars wrote: »

Ok I have been to the doctor 4th week in a row.
My smartphone broke and thought that was the reason I am getting panic attacks and depression!!

When I mentioned it to her she said course it could be a reason as I have mindfulness on it as well as everything else.

It is currently being repaired and I will not have it for another few weeks.

I am not due and upgrade but was thinking do I spend €600 to buy the phone outright and sell the one I get back after being repaired. I don't know what to do. The doctor says as I am using it during the day to do my mindfulness that it is a back up coping mechanism. I have had to leave the office early every day and at 12.30 yesterday because of panic attacks.

Oh what to do.

In Dublin by any chance? Can give you an old HTC desire to use if its any use. I'll unlock it, and its already rooted and all.... You can even pick a ROM you'd like? It's not a fancy phone, but it will work and let you do some browsing / facebooking / angry birds..ing!

It's not much but it might take one little stressor away.

Either way look after yourself. These thing do happen and it may be something immediate like your phone is what you are diverting your anxiety into, not necessarily the entire cause.

pinkstars

You are so kind. I am going to buy the Samsung and give the one that is being repaired to my niece for her 21st. My dad is going to go halves. Thanks so much for the offer.

Lightbulb Sun

RossFixxxed wrote: »

Is this sarcasm? Am I missing the joke? What I can see is one of the stupidest posts I have ever read in my life. I'm absolutely gob smacked this attitude is still about.

You might as well tell someone who has been kneecapped to take up cycling! I hope, for your sake, you never suffer something like this and get told to get some exercise and you'll be grand while your whole life goes into freefall around you.

Feeling bad or down is NOT the same as depression. Read that again. Here I'll say it again: Feeling bad or down is NOT the same as depression.

The supidity of your post is astounding and I hope you take the time to do soem research or talk to some people about these things. You need an education.

Your attitude is part of the stigma that is levelled at people with a serious, life destroying condition (in some cases). Ah sure you'll be grand, go out for a stroll.

What about someone with PTSD say? What should they do to cure it? Eat a carrot? Or someone who is schizophrinic? Knitting?

****ING EXERCISE will cure it? Jesus wept. Congratulations you actually broke my brain with your idiotic posting.

You clearly have NO understanding where these people are coming from and your glib attitude is a real knock back for people. Have some basic human empathy and understanding for others.

If your mother died and I said ah sure drink some water and you won't be sad you'd be furious at me. That's what you're doing.

ANYONE WHO OFFERS A QUICK FIX SOLUTION TO AN IMMENSELY COMPLIATED ISSUE IS TO BE AVOIDED AT ALL COSTS.

I think it was a huge exaggeration from him but dont forget exercise can help treat depression. Its proven after all.

Call Me Jimmy

As long as it is not mindless, it will help I believe. Even if it is mindless, associated physical symptoms of depression can be alleviated at the least. I hope I don't get misquoted as anyone who knows me knows I would be the last person to trivialise any mental illness.

mickstupp

Exercise is definitely one of the ways I keep my depression at bay. It's obviously not a cure, but it helps me. I feel good when I exercise, and my mood always starts getting worse when I miss a session or three. Helps with my self-esteem too. But I have to say, one important thing it does is force me to wash. That might sound odd or stupid to some people, but when I'm in a bad way, my personal hygiene goes out the window, which really doesn't help the mood. Getting into the habit of exercising every day meant I got into the habit of washing every day, which is another one of the many little ways I deal with things. Feeling physically clean and refreshed helps. Not a lot! But a little. Everyone's different, of course. We all need little things to help.

DeVore

I use exercise to "clean" my brain. I often have a sort of whirlwind going on in here and its very hard to stop it. Having to focus on one thing exclusively helps to stop my mind racing. Its not a panacea but its part of the solution. For me it also takes mindfulness, communication, good diet, reduction in alcohol intake, decent sleep pattern and whatever the opposite of isolation is


I'm going to be on Newstalk 104 early next week (probably monday or tuesday) to talk about this thread and on a panel about depression.

Benny_Cake

DeVore wrote: »

I'm going to be on Newstalk 104 early next week (probably monday or tuesday) to talk about this thread and on a panel about depression.

Good to hear that, you'll have to let us know closer to the time when it'll be on. This thread is a real help to many people and is something to be proud of.

Apologies if this was posted already, but the Cavan footballer Alan O'Mara was on "Off the Ball" on Newstalk earlier in the week talking about his experience of depression. Well worth listening to.

http://www.newstalk.ie/Alan-OMara

RossFixxxed

I'm not saying exercise is bad, for God's sake. I'm saying it wouldn't cure depression for nearly everyone like that stupid, ignorant post stated.

If exercise helps, great! Do it! But if you can't actually get out of the house, if you are so in a hole someone saying "exercise will cure it" is going to make it worse.

This is not black and white, this is so many million shades in between. Exercise is a great thing, it may well help. I actively encourage people to get exercise.

I do not believe the ah sure get over it thing is anything other than a disasterous attitude that adds to the stigma around mental health.

If I told you to get exercise and all the pain, loneliness, anguish, anxiety, stress, sadness will be gone for good you would tell me to go to hell. That's basically what the post I was pointing at said.

Wattle

RossFixxxed wrote: »

I'm not saying exercise is bad, for God's sake. I'm saying it wouldn't cure depression for nearly everyone like that stupid, ignorant post stated.

If exercise helps, great! Do it! But if you can't actually get out of the house, if you are so in a hole someone saying "exercise will cure it" is going to make it worse.

This is not black and white, this is so many million shades in between. Exercise is a great thing, it may well help. I actively encourage people to get exercise.

I do not believe the ah sure get over it thing is anything other than a disasterous attitude that adds to the stigma around mental health.

If I told you to get exercise and all the pain, loneliness, anguish, anxiety, stress, sadness will be gone for good you would tell me to go to hell. That's basically what the post I was pointing at said.

I think you need to give the guy the benefit of the doubt here. I'm not at all sure he was saying that exercise is the one and only answer. Maybe he was just fresh from a workout and was feeling energised and decided to post. I myself find that I get a tremendous boost from exercise that helps to pep me up when I'm feeling sluggish. But yes you are right that when you are in the absolute depths it's hard to move at all. Having said that a lot of American clinics are including exercise in their recovery programs. Once you feel a bit better daily exercise is very important to keep the blues at bay.

RossFixxxed

I think if we all exercised more that there wouldn't be any depression. Or very little anyway

It's not very ambiguous though to be fair. THERE WOULDN'T BE ANY DEPRESSION. Even the second, qualification is so far off the mark it is absurd. Maybe he wrote it wrong, maybe he didn't realise how it reads. As it stands it is an ignorant, stupid post to have made and it is an endemic attitude with some people. He is saying "IF we all exercised" ok so we are exercising, "there would be no depression"... Therefore exercise is a completely preventative measure for depression. That logic is screwed. So is the logic that I disagree with his point therefore I'm saying exercise is bad, or doesn't help. That's is a complete fail at the most basic reading comprehension / logical conversation.

The last thing I want is someone genuinely suffering to take what it said onboard as their weakness, or an expectation that there will be no more depression if everyone exercises.

I'm not having a go at the guy, but what he wrote is alarming.

Again: exercise is good. Meditation, yoga, music, art are good. Showering every day is good. But seriously: there wouldn't be any depression? Come on now let's just be clear here: that statement is just plain dumb.

If we all ate lemongrass there would be no more cancer, or very little anyway. See? That's idiotic, insulting, insensitive and just plain thick.

If we all ate carrots there would be no shortsightedness.

If we all exercised there would be no schizophrenia.
If we all exercised there would be no agrophobia.
If we all exercised there would be no paranoia.
If we all exercised there would be no general anxiety disorder.
If we all exercised there would be no PTSD.
If we all exercised there would be no depression.
If we all exercised there would be no sadness, disease, war, famine, natural disasters, bad luck, accidents or tragedies.

I'm sorry to be so aggressive but you have to see what that post looks like right? Imagine looking at it in a state where you can't leave the house, where exercise would be so difficult and painful it might not be possible.

Marzipan85

I think you might be being a bit aggressive there. We're not going to change everyone's opinion out there on what's the best treatment for depression. I'm sure there're loads of studies showing how exercise can be as effective for mild/moderate depression/anxiety conditions. I'm trying to combine exercise now with medication, and maybe in the long term the exercise will make me robust enough to come off the medication (but I don't know).

I think the last thing we want people to do is be scared off this thread, just cos they have an unpopular opinion. Some people - probably quite rightly - see how much the pharma industry is making from people's misery, and it doesn't seem right. But at the end of the day, God bless the man/woman who invented SSRIs etc. Cos they've saved a lot of lives.

JupiterKid

My anxiety has been very bad the past few days. I had been in generally good form up until Wednesday, enjoying the great weather but on Wed afternoon I was out with a friend when bang! - a mini breakdown hit me. I was filled with dread and then very tearful. It was upsetting to say the least.

Fortunately my friend is very understanding and today I went to my GP who prescribed me Xanax and sleeping tablets as a temporary measure. I'm also planning on changing my psych as my current one, whilst good, has never really got to the nub of my problem with severe, chronic and intense anxiety which can be very crippling for me.

I'm feeling very fragile today but will take each hour as it comes and try not to allow the sea of worry, negative thoughts and panic flood my racing mind.

Call Me Jimmy

A new insight I've had today is that the brain really is a universe and when I look at other people now I think of them as other universes. I should add I haven't been doing drugs, but I've been feeling better due to meditation of sorts.

nesf

Marzipan85 wrote: »

I think you might be being a bit aggressive there. We're not going to change everyone's opinion out there on what's the best treatment for depression. I'm sure there're loads of studies showing how exercise can be as effective for mild/moderate depression/anxiety conditions. I'm trying to combine exercise now with medication, and maybe in the long term the exercise will make me robust enough to come off the medication (but I don't know).

I think the last thing we want people to do is be scared off this thread, just cos they have an unpopular opinion. Some people - probably quite rightly - see how much the pharma industry is making from people's misery, and it doesn't seem right. But at the end of the day, God bless the man/woman who invented SSRIs etc. Cos they've saved a lot of lives.

There's a difference between an unpopular opinion and one that is wrong no matter what way you look at it. People are entitled to their opinion, not to their own facts.

DeVore

When I started to see myself, and other people, as complicated, broken, brilliant, good, bad, and all in between... it was a breakthrough. I stopped thinking in absolutes about myself and others and started to relax and actually *like* myself... seeing my flaws as quirks of my character.... yes they need work but they arent the whole story and they make me, me!

I hope the sun is lifting a few spirits out there.

Call Me Jimmy

DeVore wrote: »

I hope the sun is lifting a few spirits out there.

It just seems a bit more colourful, even when sitting on your own in the garden looking at nature an' sh!t, I can actually discern blue and green. We literally had a year-long winter, the clouds just sucking the energy out of the light. All other things being equal it is just refreshing to see some god damn colour again.

Add to that some Vit-D and not having having to brace yourself every time you open the front door and it's what I would call a nice perk. And that's coming from someone who is not a fan of being seen in daylight!

efb

Can we be nicer with each other here. I found this place great with a lot of help and support. Judgements can be seen as negative and not very helpful. This is about support regarding negative thoughts and troubled minds

RossFixxxed

Remember your sunscreen folks. Hope you get some sun and the blue sky lifts some spirits.

This country is so often grey and dull it's nice to see vibrant colours again!

Apologies for negativity, I was trying to make a point I feel strongly about, perhaps in the wrong way and / or place. I appreciate the replies and it's a nice day to reassess my attitude!

TeddyTedson

I'm sorry to once again refer to my own state, but I'm almost shocked that even with this weather I'm still getting this ****.

It feels like every day there is more **** on my shoulders and I just don't think I can deal with this any more. I'm actually hoping that I get killed through some random incident, be it whatever.

At the same time I feel like there is a lot of positives going for me now more than ever and if I had that extra something I could capitalise.

I always feel a little guilty too posting this sort of stuff because people will naturally feel sorry or whatever and that's probably the wrong word but I'm positive there are so many people out there worse off than me. But then my problem I think I'd understand how to deal with for someone else, just not me. :-/

The weirdest thing is, I'm fairly confident I know what I should be doing to sort my issues out, I just can't do them myself. Mind over matter. Anyway that's me deal now. I hope people understand where I'm coming from. Best of luck

starling

TeddyTedson wrote: »

I'm sorry to once again refer to my own state, but I'm almost shocked that even with this weather I'm still getting this ****.

It feels like every day there is more **** on my shoulders and I just don't think I can deal with this any more. I'm actually hoping that I get killed through some random incident, be it whatever.

At the same time I feel like there is a lot of positives going for me now more than ever and if I had that extra something I could capitalise.

I always feel a little guilty too posting this sort of stuff because people will naturally feel sorry or whatever and that's probably the wrong word but I'm positive there are so many people out there worse off than me. But then my problem I think I'd understand how to deal with for someone else, just not me. :-/

The weirdest thing is, I'm fairly confident I know what I should be doing to sort my issues out, I just can't do them myself. Mind over matter. Anyway that's me deal now. I hope people understand where I'm coming from. Best of luck

sounds like you are being pretty hard on yourself there Ted, try to give yourself a break.
We all tend to say "ah sure other people have it worse" but a counsellor pointed out to me one day that other people's problems don't really affect our own. It doesn't always help in my experience, being aware that others have it worse is only important up to a point.
Especially in the case of depression etc I think that it's one thing to say "others have it worse" when you want people to understand that you are not completely self-involved, but it's easy to take it too far and start heaping more guilt or shame on ourselves. We can easily end up using it as another stick to beat ourselves with.
Like if your friend said he was struggling with depression or anxiety, I'm sure you wouldn't say "ah sure others have it worse than you" because you know that it sounds like a dismissal of his pain - so you've got to watch out for the danger of doing it to yourself.
Some people do genuinely find it helps them if they remind themselves that "it could be worse, look at these other people who have bigger problems than I do" but in my experience most of us use it as a kind of reason why we shouldn't be honest about the pain we're in.
No offense ted but I'm getting that impression from your post there. Yeah, it's good to be aware that it could be worse but do remember that your struggles are not insignificant either. Don't let other peoples' troubles make you feel guilty or like you're a bad person just because you think you should feel happier. It's okay to acknowledge that you don't feel great.

I need a little reassurance..........not all truly depressed people self-harm, right?

'Cause I've been living with GP-diagnosed depression for almost 4 years now and I've never (apart from one very minor wine-fuelled incident) been able to hurt myself. Believe me, I've tried; I thought I needed some sort of physical scar to prove that I was truly depressed and genuinely needed some help. But I'm just too squeamish about physical pain; no matter how numb or apathetic I feel emotionally, I can't deal with physical injury of any sort. And in my own twisted mind, I view this as a weakness; it feels like my lack of physical scar cheapens my experience. I'm not even brave enough to hurt myself, which not only means that I'm a total coward but also means that I'm not REALLY depressed. Because only somebody who genuinely is depressed would be able to hurt themselves in that manner. A lack of self-injury is a privilege enjoyed only by those who aren't depressed.....or so it seems?!

Am I deluding myself? The reason I don't speak about my depression to many people is because I fear I won't be believed...but is that disbelief from others entirely justifiable when I don't have a single physical self-harm scar to show? Do I have to slice up my arm with a knife or a razor blade or something just to prove that I genuinely do need help? Because I'd do it if that's what it took, but I just need a little reassurance that it doesn't necessarily need to come to that, and that I am a credible person who's worth someone's, ANYONE'S attention even without those self-inflicted wounds.

Please be honest with me, don't just tell me what I want to hear. Sorry if this seems too heavy or whatever but it genuinely is something that worries me; maybe if I cut myself I'd be taken more seriously, I just don't want it to come to that unless I have to.

starling

That sounds sucky Homer:( But no. Some depressed people self-harm but not all, not by a long shot. That's not to say that what you're feeling is abnormal, it is actually very understandable.

I'm sorry you aren't feeling supported by those around you. Is it possible they just don't really understand depression? A surprising number of misconceptions and myths about mental illness are floating around out there.
Have you mentioned this urge to self harm to your doctor? He or she may be able to help. The urge to self harm is common and understandable but you can overcome it.

People are becoming more aware of what depression really is and how serious it can be, what with awareness campaigns and media coverage and stuff. Hopefully this will help those around you to understand a bit more about what you're dealing with. I don't know how much you've told your family and friends about how you're feeling, but I hope that you can explain to them just how bad you're feeling. If you start cutting yourself you will only feel worse, you don't need any more cr@p to deal with.

I think that beating yourself up ( no pun intended ) about not being able to cut yourself is just the depression making you criticise yourself about everything. When you're depressed you just automatically find things to blame yourself for or criticise yourself over. Not being able to cut yourself is not cowardly at all. it is normal. Please don't be blaming yourself for this.
Talking about it and asking for help is totally the right direction to go. Thanks for writing about it here.