LETS ALL LAUGH AT PEOPLE WITH DEPRESSION!!

nesf · 09-06-2013 6:55am

Deleted User wrote: »

I need a little reassurance..........not all truly depressed people self-harm, right?

Yes. Self harm is an optional extra when you purchase the depression mental health condition. Psychosis is only included with the special deluxe pre-order editions.

More seriously. I've self harmed, yes. I've never attempted suicide though. I've wanted to, I've had urges to, I've spent weeks mulling over plans on how best to do it while walking around with a passive deathwish but I've never crossed the line into the place where you want to do it, are thinking about it and feel strong urges to do it for a sustained period. I've had urges but only short lived ones. I've had nothing like friends of mine have had with slowly building urges over weeks culminating in either an attempt or being hospitalised.

Do I doubt I have bipolar because I've never made an attempt? No. As one psychiatrist I had put it after I said I didn't think I really got suicidal because I never attempted, lying there awake at night mulling over methods for self-destruction is not really something that happens to normal people on a regular, recurring basis. I imagine she'd say the same thing about feeling lesser for not having self-harmed.

Benny_Cake · 09-06-2013 8:37am

Last Tuesday I had my first all-out anxiety attack in well over a year. The pounding heart, shortness of breath, nausea.....hello old friend, I haven't seen you in a while. In the days leading up to it I'd been feeling kinda low, and since then, I've been struggling to feel better. I spent the second half of the week feeling exhausted (all that adrenaline flowing through the body really takes it out of you) and numb, I just wanted to hide away from the world.

As it happens I'd been weaning myself off my medication (I was advised to try this by my doctor). It's just a low dose of Lexapro but it looks like it was doing something for me so I went back to him on Friday and got a new prescription. Hopefully this week will go better, I'm going to try and spend as much time outside today as possible.

Huayra · 09-06-2013 12:11pm

I feel a million times better with the great weather we deserve at long last. It is a good excuse to get into the sea. I'm not able to swim properly so just get in so that the water can help my legs recover from all the overuse injuries.
Even though I think about self harming all the time, my sore legs are probably preventing me from doing anything. I've felt pain in them for 15 months now, and I don't think I can go through any more of it. The leg injuries prevent me from running, and self harming will probably prevent me from doing alot more things. Just trying to think of something positive to say as it does help me feel a bit better.

delthedriver · 09-06-2013 4:59pm

The weather has brought a welcome break for everyone. I notice in bars, coffee shops etc. smiles have returned to people's faces.
Long may this spell of good weather last , it really has a positive influence for everyone.
I am travelling to Portugal on Tuesday to attend a wedding later this week. The weather forecast there is for mid 30's , which I am really looking forward to . Sunshine certainly helps my mood. More R&R!
Will need to get back walking when I return. Last couple of weeks I have been taking it easy, lapping up the sunshine.:)

nesf · 09-06-2013 5:01pm

delthedriver wrote: »

Long may this spell of good weather last , it really has a positive influence for everyone.

The forecast is rain tomorrow in some parts.

delthedriver · 09-06-2013 5:03pm

nesf wrote: »

The forecast is rain tomorrow in some parts.

Light showers...... Save watering the lawns!:)

Marzipan85 · 09-06-2013 5:21pm

TeddyTedson wrote: »

there are so many people out there worse off than me.

yeah I've had someone recommend I do this to cheer myself up. I do 'count my blessings' sometimes. But it doesn't change the fact that my brain doesn't work properly (when it comes to assessing threat). i may be saying something controversial here, but there are different kinds of poverty. i could have been born in a slum in Calcutta, and i'm very lucky to have been born into Irish middle-class society. But I think you can live in social poverty or emotional poverty, as well of financial poverty. you can be living in a palace but be impoverished. hope i don't offend anyone here who is having major money problems!!

starling · 09-06-2013 5:54pm

delthedriver wrote: »

The weather has brought a welcome break for everyone. I notice in bars, coffee shops etc. smiles have returned to people's faces.
Long may this spell of good weather last , it really has a positive influence for everyone.
I am travelling to Portugal on Tuesday to attend a wedding later this week. The weather forecast there is for mid 30's , which I am really looking forward to . Sunshine certainly helps my mood. More R&R!
Will need to get back walking when I return. Last couple of weeks I have been taking it easy, lapping up the sunshine.:)

I f*ckin hate hot sunny days but I might be a bit weird :pac:
don't like getting more unwanted attention just cause I can't hide under layers and layers. Don't like feeling hot. Really don't like sweating and being paranoid that I might smell. Don't like having to cover myself in sunscreen if I don't want 5 minutes outdoors to leave me with sunburn.
I like the bright sunshine making everything look more colourful and happier. I like it making other people more cheerful. I just don't like actually being out in it. I am a contrary soul!

nesf · 09-06-2013 6:11pm

Marzipan85 wrote: »

yeah I've had someone recommend I do this to cheer myself up. I do 'count my blessings' sometimes. But it doesn't change the fact that my brain doesn't work properly (when it comes to assessing threat). i may be saying something controversial here, but there are different kinds of poverty. i could have been born in a slum in Calcutta, and i'm very lucky to have been born into Irish middle-class society. But I think you can live in social poverty or emotional poverty, as well of financial poverty. you can be living in a palace but be impoverished. hope i don't offend anyone here who is having major money problems!!

A long trip to mental hospital did wonders for my sense of perspective.

delthedriver · 09-06-2013 7:05pm

starling wrote: »

I f*ckin hate hot sunny days but I might be a bit weird :pac:
don't like getting more unwanted attention just cause I can't hide under layers and layers. Don't like feeling hot. Really don't like sweating and being paranoid that I might smell. Don't like having to cover myself in sunscreen if I don't want 5 minutes outdoors to leave me with sunburn.
I like the bright sunshine making everything look more colourful and happier. I like it making other people more cheerful. I just don't like actually being out in it. I am a contrary soul!

No you are not contrary. Not everyone enjoys being out in the sun, however you do recognise that bright sunshine makes everything look more colourful. This in itself proves that you are not contrary.
Be kind to yourself, relax, take it easy and enjoy whatever positives you can on a sunny day.:)

TeddyTedson · 09-06-2013 9:21pm

starling wrote: »

sounds like you are being pretty hard on yourself there Ted, try to give yourself a break.
We all tend to say "ah sure other people have it worse" but a counsellor pointed out to me one day that other people's problems don't really affect our own. It doesn't always help in my experience, being aware that others have it worse is only important up to a point.
Especially in the case of depression etc I think that it's one thing to say "others have it worse" when you want people to understand that you are not completely self-involved, but it's easy to take it too far and start heaping more guilt or shame on ourselves. We can easily end up using it as another stick to beat ourselves with.
Like if your friend said he was struggling with depression or anxiety, I'm sure you wouldn't say "ah sure others have it worse than you" because you know that it sounds like a dismissal of his pain - so you've got to watch out for the danger of doing it to yourself.
Some people do genuinely find it helps them if they remind themselves that "it could be worse, look at these other people who have bigger problems than I do" but in my experience most of us use it as a kind of reason why we shouldn't be honest about the pain we're in.
No offense ted but I'm getting that impression from your post there. Yeah, it's good to be aware that it could be worse but do remember that your struggles are not insignificant either. Don't let other peoples' troubles make you feel guilty or like you're a bad person just because you think you should feel happier. It's okay to acknowledge that you don't feel great.

You make a lot of sense, thank you

Today I just hid away from the world. I never left my place once.
I remember reading DeVores original post I think it was where he talks about one day just going back to bed for the day. I have days like that where I wake up and just don't want to see anyone. I've gone from one day to being really friendly to everyone in work to the next day barely wanting to say hello. Those bad days I go to some lengths to avoid people like you wouldn't believe.

I think I need to do something really big in my life. Something new. Perhaps move country I'm thinking. I wouldn't be trying to move away from my problems or anything like that, I just feel like something fresh and exciting happening.

starling · 09-06-2013 10:59pm

TeddyTedson wrote: »

You make a lot of sense, thank you

Today I just hid away from the world. I never left my place once.
I remember reading DeVores original post I think it was where he talks about one day just going back to bed for the day. I have days like that where I wake up and just don't want to see anyone. I've gone from one day to being really friendly to everyone in work to the next day barely wanting to say hello. Those bad days I go to some lengths to avoid people like you wouldn't believe.

I think I need to do something really big in my life. Something new. Perhaps move country I'm thinking. I wouldn't be trying to move away from my problems or anything like that, I just feel like something fresh and exciting happening.

I understand that urge to just hide. It can be exhausting just being around people when you're depressed, even if they're people you love, it just takes so much effort and sometimes you just think "Ah feck it I can't face that today." it's okay to give yourself a rest and just have time to yourself.
The only thing you need to watch out for is if it's happening every single day and you end up not wanting to leave the house ever. I've been there and I know how easily it can happen. I used to make sure I only had a small carton of milk in the gaf so that I would have to go out and buy more. One time I was out of milk and I found myself melting bits of chocolate into my coffee instead of going out for more :pac:
But taking one day out now and then is just giving yourself a chance to regroup, as it were:)
It is very possible that something new in your life will help you to distract yourself from feeling down. That doesn't automatically mean you're running away from your problems, it's just making positive change in your life:)
I'd recommend starting with something not-too-drastic though, because if you try some big scheme and it doesn't work out, even if it's not your fault it's easy to end up blaming yourself and feeling worse. Not trying to be pessimistic here I just think it can be easier on you if you try something that doesn't involve putting a load of pressure on yourself.
Like maybe there's some kind if hobby or activity you might enjoy that you can say to yourself "I'll have a go at that and sure if I don't like it or I decide not to keep at it, it doesn't matter." Put the focus on enjoying it rather than "succeeding" if you know what I mean.
Best of luck with whatever you decide!

starling · 09-06-2013 11:05pm

delthedriver wrote: »

No you are not contrary. Not everyone enjoys being out in the sun, however you do recognise that bright sunshine makes everything look more colourful. This in itself proves that you are not contrary.
Be kind to yourself, relax, take it easy and enjoy whatever positives you can on a sunny day.:)

Thanks!:)
I have noticed that it's easier to only go out in the early morning or the late afternoon/evening when it's warm, but not roasting. So if I do that I find I can enjoy the benefits of the weather a bit more.
One of the (few) benefits to not working is being able to choose your own schedule and being able to avoid stuff like rush hour trams & buses which are bad enough the rest o the time but really uncomfortable in the heat:p

starling · 09-06-2013 11:12pm

Huayra wrote: »

I feel a million times better with the great weather we deserve at long last. It is a good excuse to get into the sea. I'm not able to swim properly so just get in so that the water can help my legs recover from all the overuse injuries.
Even though I think about self harming all the time, my sore legs are probably preventing me from doing anything. I've felt pain in them for 15 months now, and I don't think I can go through any more of it. The leg injuries prevent me from running, and self harming will probably prevent me from doing alot more things. Just trying to think of something positive to say as it does help me feel a bit better.

Ooh it must be nice to just get in the water and have a splash about:) Is you doctor aware of how you're feeling about your leg pain? Because you should probaby mention it and maybe there's something they can do to help. Chronic pain is no joke:(
Doctors rely onthe patient to tell them just how bad the pain is because they can't test pain. So maybe they aren't aware of how it's affecting you? I'd really rcommend being clear with them that it's seriously getting you down. Don't think of it as whining or weakness or anything like that. They won't look at it that way. Ethically they have to treat pain, no matter the underlying cause, nobody needs to be putting a brave face on and soldiering on. You deserve to have your pain treated (it doesn't automatically have to mean a ton of drugs, if you're not keen on that).

pharmaton · 10-06-2013 1:22am

Dev, this may not be the place to ask these questions but I thought it might be the only chance I get. I know you are discussing the subject publicly next week but I'm genuinely curious to know if you feel some of "the monster" you created is responsible for your depression. Do you find that the internet and it's kin social networking is having a detrimental effect on how people are dealing with their emotions or do you think it's possible to overcome the state of apathy created by not having the intimacy of personal and physical interaction. (observing things like eye contact and human responses) I think I'm asking how much is cause and effect I guess.
I have a lot more questions, I probably won't get a chance to ask them again but would appreciate some insight.

ilovebiology · 10-06-2013 1:30am

The past few days have been horrible for me. I'm very ill with depression, and even though the weather was great, I was completely unable to get out of bed. Feeling so unmotivated to get up and do anything, and just stuck in my house. I felt sad that I couldn't get out like everyone else, but its days like this when the weather is lovely, I can't get out. Another horrible part of depression.

maxwarren · 10-06-2013 1:34am

fair play mate

great post

roseybear · 10-06-2013 10:30am

Huayra wrote: »

I feel a million times better with the great weather we deserve at long last. It is a good excuse to get into the sea. I'm not able to swim properly so just get in so that the water can help my legs recover from all the overuse injuries.
Even though I think about self harming all the time, my sore legs are probably preventing me from doing anything. I've felt pain in them for 15 months now, and I don't think I can go through any more of it. The leg injuries prevent me from running, and self harming will probably prevent me from doing alot more things. Just trying to think of something positive to say as it does help me feel a bit better.

I used running to help me and when I started feeling pain and couldn run I was a wreck. Got an Mri showing a stress fracture and shin splints so I hit the bike instead (found this btr than swimming). Maybe go get a check just incase there actually is something there that can be treated? Since this all happened with me, it was kind of a blessing in disguise becasue I had to find new ways of coping as I couldn't rely on running (ok, one of the ways was food,which wasn good for the aul self image and self esteem but I knew that that part of it was just a side effect of me trying to find coping methods and that when everything clicked together I can sort that side of things). Im nt running half as much as I was but I dnt feel the pressure that I HAVE to run OR ELSE. Im going towards triathlons now which although the event may be difficult I find the variation in the training is less challenging mentally

mickstupp · 10-06-2013 10:52am

pharmaton wrote: »

Dev, this may not be the place to ask these questions but I thought it might be the only chance I get. I know you are discussing the subject publicly next week but I'm genuinely curious to know if you feel some of "the monster" you created is responsible for your depression. Do you find that the internet and it's kin social networking is having a detrimental effect on how people are dealing with their emotions or do you think it's possible to overcome the state of apathy created by not having the intimacy of personal and physical interaction. (observing things like eye contact and human responses) I think I'm asking how much is cause and effect I guess.
I have a lot more questions, I probably won't get a chance to ask them again but would appreciate some insight.

Just wanted to throw my two cents in on this here, and I know it's only anecdotal, but I can't imagine others don't feel something similar to me... for the first maybe 8 or 9 years of my depression, the internet was not a widespread thing in this country, not even close. I've found it easier, to an extent, to deal with it these days, because I feel I can go to any number of forums and find people who have experienced and felt and gone through some of the same things I have. Makes me feel just a tiny bit less alone. Talking to a person in person who understand all this stuff is, for me at least, basically the same experience. Granted, I can't get a hug on the internet... but mostly, these days, the internet helps me stay on top of my depression much more than the people around me ever did. There was a time in my life where I literally thought I was the only person having particular feelings and I was afraid to tell anyone because I was convinced I had lost my mind. Now I just have to open a browser to realise it's ok, I'm not the only one. Again, though, just one person's opinion. Your mileage may vary, as they say.

Mars Bar · 10-06-2013 12:11pm

For those of you who are looking for CBT or anxiety workshops (group based), The Galway Advertiser is doing deals in Galway, Castlebar and Athlone. The price is down to €25 from €75 and there's 9 hours left on the offer.

http://deals.advertiser.ie/mayo_galway_athlone-cbt_counselling_deal-helplink/?utm_source=MD+Reminder+20130610&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=Helplink+MD+Reminder&f=AC-14250-27533773-248233

I hope it helps somebody.

pharmaton · 10-06-2013 9:46pm

mickstupp wrote: »

Just wanted to throw my two cents in on this here, and I know it's only anecdotal, but I can't imagine others don't feel something similar to me... for the first maybe 8 or 9 years of my depression, the internet was not a widespread thing in this country, not even close. I've found it easier, to an extent, to deal with it these days, because I feel I can go to any number of forums and find people who have experienced and felt and gone through some of the same things I have. Makes me feel just a tiny bit less alone. Talking to a person in person who understand all this stuff is, for me at least, basically the same experience. Granted, I can't get a hug on the internet... but mostly, these days, the internet helps me stay on top of my depression much more than the people around me ever did. There was a time in my life where I literally thought I was the only person having particular feelings and I was afraid to tell anyone because I was convinced I had lost my mind. Now I just have to open a browser to realise it's ok, I'm not the only one. Again, though, just one person's opinion. Your mileage may vary, as they say.

Thanks for taking the time to respond. I realise that for many many reasons the internet is a powerful tool that can have both an extremely beneficial or detrimental influence on the world around us. More than ever I suppose I'm just recognsing the deeper darker side of it. I'm just glad that you find it helpful.
(I'm probably one of those people who would do better staying away from the social side of it as I feel it has a more detrimental effect on me psychologically. I do use it for research or entertainment or business however, it's just the other aspects don't seem to work so well with my personality I guess. fwiw, I'm considerably emotionally stable, I have had counselling in the past for specific issues but I tend to deal with things when they arise or am at an age where I know my limits and try keep an evenly balanced outloook)

Hope things get better for you mickstupp.

delthedriver · 10-06-2013 11:45pm

The return of the rain today coincided with the return of darkness in my life.
I struggled through the day feeling exhausted, lifeless and numb. Struggled out of bed, even returned to bed for a while. Heading to Portugal tomorrow, even packing my case has been difficult. Started the job at midday , still not finished. My ability to make decisions has almost disappeared. My memory is at the lowest point in ages. Can't remember where I have stored things. Going about the house frantically opening cupboards. It is return of the flipping nightmare again. I sat down on my sofa about an hour ago,to post this in the hope that I can get my mind to focus. Panicking knowing that in a few hours I have to get out of bed, yet I still cannot manage some basic decisions and errands. I hope when I get away I will be fine, it is the overwhelming sense of numbness which is blocking my brain from moving into Drive. Gosh I feel completely underwhelmed at this point when I should be resting and looking forward .....
Ok , I need to practice what I often preach, take it easy, relax , be kind to myself........right I am going to make another cup of tea and try then to finish packing this flipping suitcase. Aaaaaaaaarrrrrrrghhhhhhh

Drumpot · 11-06-2013 10:32am

Mars Bar wrote: »

For those of you who are looking for CBT or anxiety workshops (group based), The Galway Advertiser is doing deals in Galway, Castlebar and Athlone. The price is down to €25 from €75 and there's 9 hours left on the offer.

http://deals.advertiser.ie/mayo_galway_athlone-cbt_counselling_deal-helplink/?utm_source=MD+Reminder+20130610&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=Helplink+MD+Reminder&f=AC-14250-27533773-248233

I hope it helps somebody.

Great post . .

I have written at different stages on this thread, but the true start of my rehabilitation was me deciding that I had to try different things to help myself. It sounds simple and it sounds obvious, but sometimes I think it can be the furthest thing from my mind when I am in the depths of depression.

I chose to try out Aware group councelling. Through that I heard about CBT courses (free with Aware) and decided to give it a try. During these courses I made the decision to change doctors.

I changed doctors more because I felt I had hit a rut with my existing doctor. I dont necessarily blame him, but I wasnt making progress (he couldnt figure out a solution) and he was getting visibly upset and frustrated at not being able to get to the root cause of my problems. Upon changing doctors I started with a new set of eyes on my condition. Perhaps because I was doing things to help myself my new doctor was able to get a better perspective on what was going on in my head.

He recommended that I continue the CBT (as I had stated that I found it extremely helpful) and gave me the details of a therapist (for one on one sessions). I waited 3 months to phone him, in the meantime I tried to get well my own way which failed miserably. Since I have been going to my CBT therapist I have had ridiculous ups and nasty downs, but I have found peace at times (something I have craved for as long as I can remember).

I have made revelations about my life and particularly on how my perception of the world has held me back and kept me in the dark for many years. My story in this post is only based on one years experience with CBT but since I have started CBT I have lost weight, given up alcohol, gotten off Anti depressents and sleeping tablets. My life is by no means perfect, but I am learning to try and ride the wave of depression when it happens. Understand that this moment will pass. Its definitely not easy, but just knowing this reminds me that this wont go on forever.

I check in here from time to time as this has been hugely helpful to me in my rehabilitation and for that I am forever thankful to Dev and ALL contributors. What I am learning is that by telling your story, you help me and vice versa. Its nice to feel like you can help others, so even if all you do is write down here how awful you feel and how depressed you always are, please understand that you are helping others who feel lonely aswell.

Drumpot · 11-06-2013 10:40am

delthedriver wrote: »

The return of the rain today coincided with the return of darkness in my life.
I struggled through the day feeling exhausted, lifeless and numb. Struggled out of bed, even returned to bed for a while. Heading to Portugal tomorrow, even packing my case has been difficult. Started the job at midday , still not finished. My ability to make decisions has almost disappeared. My memory is at the lowest point in ages. Can't remember where I have stored things. Going about the house frantically opening cupboards. It is return of the flipping nightmare again. I sat down on my sofa about an hour ago,to post this in the hope that I can get my mind to focus. Panicking knowing that in a few hours I have to get out of bed, yet I still cannot manage some basic decisions and errands. I hope when I get away I will be fine, it is the overwhelming sense of numbness which is blocking my brain from moving into Drive. Gosh I feel completely underwhelmed at this point when I should be resting and looking forward .....
Ok , I need to practice what I often preach, take it easy, relax , be kind to myself........right I am going to make another cup of tea and try then to finish packing this flipping suitcase. Aaaaaaaaarrrrrrrghhhhhhh

Thats funny cause the return of rain has me in good form!

Ah no, I dont think the weather plays much part in my mood. I think I could sit in the same place for 365 days, with the exact same surroundings/weather and my mood could be different every day. I have tried to give up trying to understand why my mood is the way it is and just go with it.

I have those days where I feel like my brain has been replaced with a cadburys cream egg and i cant think of anything. Struggle to remember peoples names and even struggle with basic things. But the more I am learning about myself (what makes me tick and what makes me turn into a depressed cabbage), the more I find myself exploring ways to reduce these instances.

You are off to Portugal, I know that I enjoy the thought of going on holidays, but when it gets close to going on the holiday I start to dread the thought of when I come back! Like the way I really enjoy the buildup to a football match and when the game starts I lement the fact that it will be over in the next 2 hours!

Enjoy the holiday . .

Boogietime · 11-06-2013 1:01pm

delthedriver wrote: »

The return of the rain today coincided with the return of darkness in my life.
I struggled through the day feeling exhausted, lifeless and numb. Struggled out of bed, even returned to bed for a while. Heading to Portugal tomorrow, even packing my case has been difficult. Started the job at midday , still not finished. My ability to make decisions has almost disappeared. My memory is at the lowest point in ages. Can't remember where I have stored things. Going about the house frantically opening cupboards. It is return of the flipping nightmare again. I sat down on my sofa about an hour ago,to post this in the hope that I can get my mind to focus. Panicking knowing that in a few hours I have to get out of bed, yet I still cannot manage some basic decisions and errands. I hope when I get away I will be fine, it is the overwhelming sense of numbness which is blocking my brain from moving into Drive. Gosh I feel completely underwhelmed at this point when I should be resting and looking forward .....
Ok , I need to practice what I often preach, take it easy, relax , be kind to myself........right I am going to make another cup of tea and try then to finish packing this flipping suitcase. Aaaaaaaaarrrrrrrghhhhhhh

C'mon buddy, a lil bit more and you're through! Wee-hoo, it's holiday time, del!

If you can't find some enthusiasm it's okay too, just enjoy it at the level that you want to... Don't be too worried that you HAVE to enjoy, that ruins all the fun

DeVore · 11-06-2013 1:22pm

I was on Newstalk yesterday to try and spread a positive message about mental health, along with David McCarthy from MadPrideIreland.ie

http://www.newstalk.ie/player/listen_back/5/1764/10th_June_2013_-_Breakfast_Part_4 (jump to about 60% into it)

One thing I should have mentioned was that when I started working on my mental health it was a rocky road at first, lots of ups and downs but over time it has smoothed out quite a bit. Its not always sunshine and lollipops but its a lot more "even-keeled" than before!

11-06-2013 2:43pm

I watched this video last night and it really struck a chord with me.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uo4Z-1McXG0

I guess I felt life would begin when I felt like I had accomplished something, but on the occasions that I may have accomplished something I wouldn't think it was good enough and I'd have to go accomplish something else. And then something else after that. And then eventually I wouldn't bother to accomplish anything because evidently accomplishments won't make me feel like my life has begun.

I always feel like nothing I do will ever be good enough. There'll always be people who are better looking than me, who are smarter than me, who have better degrees and qualifications than me, who have more talent than me and who enjoy life a whole lot more than I do. I don't know how to properly enjoy life considering I've gone through my teens and first few years of my twenties being used to not enjoying anything. I sleepwalked through my teen years, absolutely hated my university course and ended up with a below-average degree because of it, and now I'm in my early twenties with no idea what I want to do and no idea how to even get to wherever the hell it is I'm gonna end up. It's always been pointed to me in therapy and counselling that I can't change the past so there's no point in looking back on it, but when the future is way to terrifying to look at where else have I left to look?

Another point raised in that video is how the majority of people go through life without it being particularly eventful. The majority of us will never earn fame or admiration, acknowledgement from the world.....is no-one else not incredibly disturbed by that? To use a silly aquatic analogy: if I'm just a tiny fish in a massive ocean, and I'm never gonna become a great white shark, then why the hell should I bother to keep swimming?

(Also I know I post here a bit moaning and don't offer any comments or suggestions on anyone else's stories; it's not that I don't care or lack empathy, I just really suck at giving advice.

)

Drumpot · 11-06-2013 4:50pm

Deleted User wrote: »

I watched this video last night and it really struck a chord with me.

I always feel like nothing I do will ever be good enough. There'll always be people who are better looking than me, who are smarter than me, who have better degrees and qualifications than me, who have more talent than me and who enjoy life a whole lot more than I do. I don't know how to properly enjoy life considering I've gone through my teens and first few years of my twenties being used to not enjoying anything. I sleepwalked through my teen years, absolutely hated my university course and ended up with a below-average degree because of it, and now I'm in my early twenties with no idea what I want to do and no idea how to even get to wherever the hell it is I'm gonna end up. It's always been pointed to me in therapy and counselling that I can't change the past so there's no point in looking back on it, but when the future is way to terrifying to look at where else have I left to look?

Another point raised in that video is how the majority of people go through life without it being particularly eventful. The majority of us will never earn fame or admiration, acknowledgement from the world.....is no-one else not incredibly disturbed by that? To use a silly aquatic analogy: if I'm just a tiny fish in a massive ocean, and I'm never gonna become a great white shark, then why the hell should I bother to keep swimming?

(Also I know I post here a bit moaning and don't offer any comments or suggestions on anyone else's stories; it's not that I don't care or lack empathy, I just really suck at giving advice. )

Thanks for the link. Really enjoyed it and some of the other ones . .

I highlighted a bit cause I have a suggestion as its something I have been trying. I still regularly get stuck thinking about what had happened to me in the past and worried about how my future might turn out (or be wasted). However, what I am learning is to try more and more to be in the now, but to do that I have to stop the train of thought going wild.

Sounds a bit airy fairy, but look out the window, what do you see? What do you hear ? What do you smell? Try to really focus on the things around you with the senses you have. Its a kind of meditation for me. .

I honestly dont care if I am not famous or rich, because this does not equate to happiness. You can be rich/famous and depressed, its not exclusive to the average Joe pleb. The secret is being comfortable and happy with who you are, then it doesnt matter what surrounds you. None of us can change all the people/places and things in our lives, but the one thing that we will always share our life with is ourselves. As such, I believe if I can learn to be happy with who I am, it wont matter so much what happens around me.

I still get stuck getting myself anxious/angry/upset about things that have happened in the past and just as tormented thinking about the future. At the end of the day these are all just thoughts . . They dont exist anywhere but my brain. I learned to process things in my life in this manner and I am currently learning how to change the hold these thoughts can have over me. At times I just wish I was in my 60s and retiring so I could just spend my time thinking of nothing. Literally wishing my life away.

I have come to the realisation that there will always be something that will drive me demented and rather then avoid it (keep myself distracted), I am better served trying to learn to live with it. This helps reduce the impact it has on my life. Today has been a real up/down day for me but thats better then the down and feeling worse days I used to have.

Boogietime · 11-06-2013 5:20pm

Drumpot wrote: »

Thanks for the link. Really enjoyed it and some of the other ones . .

I highlighted a bit cause I have a suggestion as its something I have been trying. I still regularly get stuck thinking about what had happened to me in the past and worried about how my future might turn out (or be wasted). However, what I am learning is to try more and more to be in the now, but to do that I have to stop the train of thought going wild.

Sounds a bit airy fairy, but look out the window, what do you see? What do you hear ? What do you smell? Try to really focus on the things around you with the senses you have. Its a kind of meditation for me. .

I honestly dont care if I am not famous or rich, because this does not equate to happiness. You can be rich/famous and depressed, its not exclusive to the average Joe pleb. The secret is being comfortable and happy with who you are, then it doesnt matter what surrounds you. None of us can change all the people/places and things in our lives, but the one thing that we will always share our life with is ourselves. As such, I believe if I can learn to be happy with who I am, it wont matter so much what happens around me.

I still get stuck getting myself anxious/angry/upset about things that have happened in the past and just as tormented thinking about the future. At the end of the day these are all just thoughts . . They dont exist anywhere but my brain. I learned to process things in my life in this manner and I am currently learning how to change the hold these thoughts can have over me. At times I just wish I was in my 60s and retiring so I could just spend my time thinking of nothing. Literally wishing my life away.

I have come to the realisation that there will always be something that will drive me demented and rather then avoid it (keep myself distracted), I am better served trying to learn to live with it. This helps reduce the impact it has on my life. Today has been a real up/down day for me but thats better then the down and feeling worse days I used to have.

Further proof that depression is not a condition for the weak of mind, your mental process is rational and straightforward and something in there shows the mark of a bright man.

I would say that it's very well put, that's how I react too when sad/futile thoughts hit me... Really good advice, we should get all the good advice covered in a big post but seeing as we can't be bothered to read it it wouldn't do much difference

)

Thank you for the post, I'm sure the community appreciates it!

11-06-2013 6:06pm

Drumpot wrote: »

Thanks for the link. Really enjoyed it and some of the other ones . .

I highlighted a bit cause I have a suggestion as its something I have been trying. I still regularly get stuck thinking about what had happened to me in the past and worried about how my future might turn out (or be wasted). However, what I am learning is to try more and more to be in the now, but to do that I have to stop the train of thought going wild.

Sounds a bit airy fairy, but look out the window, what do you see? What do you hear ? What do you smell? Try to really focus on the things around you with the senses you have. Its a kind of meditation for me. .

I honestly dont care if I am not famous or rich, because this does not equate to happiness. You can be rich/famous and depressed, its not exclusive to the average Joe pleb. The secret is being comfortable and happy with who you are, then it doesnt matter what surrounds you. None of us can change all the people/places and things in our lives, but the one thing that we will always share our life with is ourselves. As such, I believe if I can learn to be happy with who I am, it wont matter so much what happens around me.

I still get stuck getting myself anxious/angry/upset about things that have happened in the past and just as tormented thinking about the future. At the end of the day these are all just thoughts . . They dont exist anywhere but my brain. I learned to process things in my life in this manner and I am currently learning how to change the hold these thoughts can have over me. At times I just wish I was in my 60s and retiring so I could just spend my time thinking of nothing. Literally wishing my life away.

I have come to the realisation that there will always be something that will drive me demented and rather then avoid it (keep myself distracted), I am better served trying to learn to live with it. This helps reduce the impact it has on my life. Today has been a real up/down day for me but thats better then the down and feeling worse days I used to have.

Thanks for the reply.

I may have phrased myself a little badly (my mind tends not to be n the sharpest condition when posting here, sorry about that!) It's not so much that I need to be rich and famous (though that would be nice), moreso I just want to be admired and respected for some form of accomplishment. Like if I was someone who was really good at something, or who had a high position job that not everyone would be able for....I just wish I had some niche to fill in that regard. Even something as simple as being able to sing would make a lot of difference to me, because at least I'd feel like I had some talent or skill that made me stand out.

But there's nothing about me that makes me stand out, and that's why I'm so terrified about the future. Nothing about me would make anyone want to employ me (unless it was for some sort of mindless, tedious labour that involved no talent or creativity), or go out with me, or be friends with me for any extended period of time.

Basically, there's nothing special about me. That's what it boils down to, really.

And none of the therapy I've had so far has been able to help me believe otherwise.

LETS ALL LAUGH AT PEOPLE WITH DEPRESSION!!

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