LETS ALL LAUGH AT PEOPLE WITH DEPRESSION!!

Call Me Jimmy

Deleted User wrote: »

Thanks for the reply.

I may have phrased myself a little badly (my mind tends not to be n the sharpest condition when posting here, sorry about that!) It's not so much that I need to be rich and famous (though that would be nice), moreso I just want to be admired and respected for some form of accomplishment. Like if I was someone who was really good at something, or who had a high position job that not everyone would be able for....I just wish I had some niche to fill in that regard. Even something as simple as being able to sing would make a lot of difference to me, because at least I'd feel like I had some talent or skill that made me stand out.

But there's nothing about me that makes me stand out, and that's why I'm so terrified about the future. Nothing about me would make anyone want to employ me (unless it was for some sort of mindless, tedious labour that involved no talent or creativity), or go out with me, or be friends with me for any extended period of time.

Basically, there's nothing special about me. That's what it boils down to, really. And none of the therapy I've had so far has been able to help me believe otherwise.

Objectively there's nothing special about anyone as you know. People probably only truly realise this on their death beds. That moment in time where your last few minutes are happening to you as these few minutes happen to you now must humble absolutely everyone.

My worry for you (and by extension myself because I often have the same thoughts) is that these thoughts are unhelpful and they absolutely will not lead to anything better.

My take on specialty is that it starts at you, and beams out; from the people closest to you, to people you know, to (possibly) people you don't know depending on how bright you are shining. That singing thing you mentioned, a couple of years ago I couldn't sing a note and even now I'm usually to tense/anxious to sing well, but sometimes when there's no one around I belt it out now and think I sound pretty good. This is from years of playing the piano and singing along just looking for something to do.

I guess my point is good things happen naturally. This means it can be with a concerted effort because in order to make the effort you naturally have to be in a head-space conducive do this.

I really think you should start with things you like, all negativity aside, if it was lifted from your brain today and you felt ecstactic for a month, what sort of things do you think you would do? For me, I'd defo be in acting groups, kayaking, doing paintings, writing songs, chatting up women, breathing in big gulps of air, hiking, camping, writing.

Now if you come up with a similar scenario where you just imagine (and i know the brain tries to stop you immediately from even smiling and imagining a period of utter happiness, what I would liken to childhood happiness) but if you can imagine that you have just a finger-click and say one month of your brain surrendering to life, what would you do?

EDIT: apologies for this post reading like my dog dictated it to me but I'm very very tired. Forgivaness prease!

Huayra

It's been years since I've been to my actual doctor, I used to go regularly to get checkups and see how my asthma is doing. I am going to a student counsellor at the moment, I have also attended support groups and seen counsellors in my previous college too.
For my injuries, I go to the physio, and am doing everything I am told now. Do you have chronic injuries at the moment too starling? How have you been dealing with them? Hope things are getting better for you.
I am tempted to get a scan or a blood test to see if there is anything that is making it difficult for me to get rid of pain. I feel guilty because its my actions and addiction to running that led me to my current state.
Rosiebear, you sound similar to me, but you seem to be in a much better place now. Its good to see your content with yourself. Best of luck with the triathlons, good your able to train for them now.
I do gentle cycling and lots of walking these days. I don't want to quit running, but am going to forget about marathons and focus on 10k distances, with lots of my running done on grass. I did a marathon 2 years ago and I just got so obsessed with doing another one. I got too ambitious and have broken down as a result. Its gonna take so much patience to get over this.
Does anyone else here feel that there is a link between depression and levels of patience? I am more impatient, when I am feeling worse than I normally do.
PS. I was glad to listen to the newstalk piece on depression.

Call Me Jimmy

Call Me Jimmy wrote: »

Objectively there's nothing special about anyone as you know. People probably only truly realise this on their death beds. That moment in time where your last few minutes are happening to you as these few minutes happen to you now must humble absolutely everyone.

My worry for you (and by extension myself because I often have the same thoughts) is that these thoughts are unhelpful and they absolutely will not lead to anything better.

My take on specialty is that it starts at you, and beams out; from the people closest to you, to people you know, to (possibly) people you don't know depending on how bright you are shining. That singing thing you mentioned, a couple of years ago I couldn't sing a note and even now I'm usually to tense/anxious to sing well, but sometimes when there's no one around I belt it out now and think I sound pretty good. This is from years of playing the piano and singing along just looking for something to do.

I guess my point is good things happen naturally. This means it can be with a concerted effort because in order to make the effort you naturally have to be in a head-space conducive do this.

I really think you should start with things you like, all negativity aside, if it was lifted from your brain today and you felt ecstactic for a month, what sort of things do you think you would do? For me, I'd defo be in acting groups, kayaking, doing paintings, writing songs, chatting up women, breathing in big gulps of air, hiking, camping, writing.

Now if you come up with a similar scenario where you just imagine (and i know the brain tries to stop you immediately from even smiling and imagining a period of utter happiness, what I would liken to childhood happiness) but if you can imagine that you have just a finger-click and say one month of your brain surrendering to life, what would you do?

EDIT: apologies for this post reading like my dog dictated it to me but I'm very very tired. Forgivaness prease!

Don't apologise Jimmy, I appreciate how you always talk the time to reply to me and my posts. I just wish I could assure you that'll all be worth your while in the long run; where I am right now, I feel like nothing's gonna shake me from my current state. Doing the things I like (I'm not even sure what they are) sadly won't hold much weight for me unless I'm good at them...and not just good but better than most people! I'm fundamentally broken in the sense that I can never be happy unless I have recognition as being above average and better than most.....so either that aspect of my thought process gets fixed or I never ever feel good about myself. It feels increasingly likely that the latter is what's gonna happen.

I'm also worried about the fact that my alcohol intake has increased quite a bit recently. I don't go out to clubs anymore, 'cause I'm sick of spending way too much money at the bar while surrounded by people who are happier and better looking than me....but I've increasingly been drinking alone, justifying this by my lack of going out; I mean, if I'm gonna get drunk I may as well do it in a controlled environment, right? Sometimes this drinking alone thing gives me the confidence to talk to people on Facebook or Twitter that I would otherwise lack, but I'm worried about it developing into a slow road to alcoholism. Tonight, for example, I've had nearly two bottles of red wine, and will have finished the second before I finally attempt sleep; now I can still type coherently (I'm even checking for typos as I write this) and my thought process, while a little more convoluted than usual, is still mostly functional. But why the hell don't I feel drunker? Is that what I've become now; someone who needs more than 2 whole bottles of red wine to feel out of control and reassuringly helpless? I mean, it's not like I wake up in the morning craving a drink or anything: THAT would be terrifying. But now, while I'm fully aware my thought process has become rambly and all over the place, I'm still typing coherently so as to get all this mumbo-jumbo across.

Everything about me is just a mess right now. And I'm running out of people to talk to. I don't want to burden my family, don't want to scare off my friends, don't have enough time with my GP (because she has max 10-15 minutes per client), don't have the money to ring helplines or anything, not that I'd even know what to say to them.....fúck it, I really REALLY don't know where the hell I'm supposed to go from here.

Sorry Jimmy, I know I'm being incredibly awkward and obtuse here....again, thanks for your replies, and thank you to everyone else who has talen the time to read. I'm sorry I can't be of more help to you guys but like I said earlier I really suck at giving advice or reassurance.

EDIT: I should mention that I'm not this bad every single night. June 11th is just a really really tough date for me. It's an anniversary of sorts.

EDIT 2: I got so close to telling my housemate (who's also probably my best friend at the moment) the truth about being on anti-depressants.....but froze at the last minute and just said goodnight to her. I've always had a problem with admitting the truth to those I'm closest to the full story, and right now was the perfect opportunity to ease someone into it........but, as per usual, I screw up when it really matters. ='(

starling

Yes huayra I have chronic pain disorder after injuring my back in an accident; when it happened I hadn't been to the doctor more than twice in the previous three years. I did go to a physio for a while and did all the exercises je gave me but after a few months he was like "Okay, you should be grand now, off you go" and I wasn't grand at all.
Chronic pain can develop as the result of an injury or accident but it can also develop without any apparent reason. The thing is that people who try to soldier on and don't like to kick up a fuss are the ones who are at risk for chronic pain disorder. So if your pain has been affecting you for a few months you really should tell your doctor.
There is a good chance your doctor will be able to help you with this. It may be something similar to what rosie was talking about, but please do not feel guilty about it.
Look at all the people who get lung cancer from smoking, or who have an accident or fall when they're drunk, or develop heart disease because they lived unhealthily - they don't go without medical treatment. And doctors don't say "Ah you did this to yourself, I'm not treating you." You are just as deserving of help and support from your doctor as anyone else.
Forgive me if this is out of line, and of course I'm not a doctor, but is it possible that you are trying to punish yourself with this pain? Like you think that you deserve it for some reason? Because you don't. You don't have to live with this. It's needless suffering and you already have enough to deal with, no need to make things harder for yourself.
So be kind to yourself. Talk to your doctor and get your pain investigated and treated. And in the meantime swimming is a great way to keep fit without the stress on your joints that comes from high-impact things like running etc; would you consider a few swimming lessons so you can lean different strokes and techniques and that? You migh enjoy it.
I wish you the best of luck.:)

pinkstars

Hi,

Just wondering if I can ask a question. I am getting anxiety at work, just about fighting off the panic attacks but boy am I scared. I have the psychiatrist tomorrow morning. Dunno what to say to her really, my Lyrica has been increased twice since I saw her last, by ringing up the clinic and again last week by my GP.
I find I have to take Valium and when I do I just feel crap - anxiety must be masking the depression. My brother is fine now!! And I am the one ill....

Wondering should I go back to the dose of medication I was on from Oct - April this year when I was flying being back at work.....being happy.....and managing everything.....

I'm just confused, and seem to be making problems for myself. eg I am getting worked up of an evening even if I have to make my lunch, my GP said I need to prioritise and then try to get some 'me' time.

I just dunno what to do anymore. I have to drop my smallie to creche before the docs in the morning and even the thought of that..........:-(

Is feeling overwhelmed a sign of depression or anxiety?
It is as if also that I am putting thoughts in my head (bad thoughts) and so I must be worse than I think I am.

hollster2

hi all having the worst two weeks of my life ive said before ive being dealing with my partner being addicted to prescription drugs and trying to kill himself well it all came to a head he was let out of lakeview in naas a total disgrace because he wasnt living in there area i begged them he was a danger to himself and myself and kids

so last week when they let him out he went to the pub took 20 purple zanax the highest ones i was staying in my parents house smashed up there cars windows of house i was locked upstairs kuds screaming it was like something out of a horror film so hes going hopefully to rehab today and wants us to get back together ive had ten years hell i cant do it my head telling me one thing and heart telling anoyher like this and broken promises i feel myself getting depressed again and my panic levels are high

ive been to gp but dont want tablets after whats happened i need to be level headed for my kids im now back living with my parents with 3 kids our new house we moved into 3 weeks ago is gone now our new start and its all gone cant stop crying my lifes ruined

Boogietime

hollster2 wrote: »

hi all having the worst two weeks of my life ive said before ive being dealing with my partner being addicted to prescription drugs and trying to kill himself well it all came to a head he was let out of lakeview in naas a total disgrace because he wasnt living in there area i begged them he was a danger to himself and myself and kids

so last week when they let him out he went to the pub took 20 purple zanax the highest ones i was staying in my parents house smashed up there cars windows of house i was locked upstairs kuds screaming it was like something out of a horror film so hes going hopefully to rehab today and wants us to get back together ive had ten years hell i cant do it my head telling me one thing and heart telling anoyher like this and broken promises i feel myself getting depressed again and my panic levels are high

ive been to gp but dont want tablets after whats happened i need to be level headed for my kids im now back living with my parents with 3 kids our new house we moved into 3 weeks ago is gone now our new start and its all gone cant stop crying my lifes ruined

It's all up from now... A new start is always welcomed, keep your head up and all will be grand

And next time, don't bring pain in your life by turning to people you know will hurt you. Unless you want that.

Boogietime

pinkstars wrote: »

Is feeling overwhelmed a sign of depression or anxiety?
It is as if also that I am putting thoughts in my head (bad thoughts) and so I must be worse than I think I am.

Feeling overwhelmed is usually a sign of being overwhelmed. Stop that and you'll be grand.

We've been through this, pink, remember? Several members here advised you to get some alone time, some YOU time. Time in which you can relax, read a book, not worry, not do anything but chill. It's really important to get that from time to time, even your GP keeps telling you that. And for all it's worth, he/she should know better

Make sure you relax from time to time, it's no good to stretch the cord too much.

Drumpot

Deleted User wrote: »

Thanks for the reply.


Basically, there's nothing special about me. That's what it boils down to, really. And none of the therapy I've had so far has been able to help me believe otherwise.

Im not really good with multiquote and replying to several messages at one time so I will try to be brief...

When I feel down, it doesnt really matter what I have achieved (good sale at work - I am self employed) or how happy I make those around me, I default to a mindset that presumes that this is as good as it gets and I will only ruin whatever good I have done (ie I get depressed at the thought that the good things that have happened will inevitably end soon and I will prob pay three fold with something negative happening to me). .

Thats just one aspect of my depression. What I am learning (there is no quick fix solution to me) is that this is all a way of thinking I have learned for a long long time. I beat myself up even when I get successes in life (no matter how big/small they are) as its never enough. With this line of thought I could win the lotto or be a huge sports star and I know I would find something else to be dissapointed about myself.

I know that I am not particularly special to anybody other then the friends and family I have. they do not know anybody else like me. It might not be the special you are talking about, but for me thats a start and thats enough. . I have applied to be a movie extra which is something that I have always thought about (being in movies) but assumed I would either fail or not get lucky. . Just being happy with the fact that I am special to those who love me has been enough to help me take the step to possibly being more special in a different way (exploring my potential abilities/talents).

Call Me Jimmy

Deleted User wrote: »

Don't apologise Jimmy, I appreciate how you always talk the time to reply to me and my posts. I just wish I could assure you that'll all be worth your while in the long run; where I am right now, I feel like nothing's gonna shake me from my current state. Doing the things I like (I'm not even sure what they are) sadly won't hold much weight for me unless I'm good at them...and not just good but better than most people! I'm fundamentally broken in the sense that I can never be happy unless I have recognition as being above average and better than most.....so either that aspect of my thought process gets fixed or I never ever feel good about myself. It feels increasingly likely that the latter is what's gonna happen.

I'm also worried about the fact that my alcohol intake has increased quite a bit recently. I don't go out to clubs anymore, 'cause I'm sick of spending way too much money at the bar while surrounded by people who are happier and better looking than me ....but I've increasingly been drinking alone, justifying this by my lack of going out; I mean, if I'm gonna get drunk I may as well do it in a controlled environment, right? Sometimes this drinking alone thing gives me the confidence to talk to people on Facebook or Twitter that I would otherwise lack, but I'm worried about it developing into a slow road to alcoholism. Tonight, for example, I've had nearly two bottles of red wine, and will have finished the second before I finally attempt sleep; now I can still type coherently (I'm even checking for typos as I write this) and my thought process, while a little more convoluted than usual, is still mostly functional. But why the hell don't I feel drunker? Is that what I've become now; someone who needs more than 2 whole bottles of red wine to feel out of control and reassuringly helpless? I mean, it's not like I wake up in the morning craving a drink or anything: THAT would be terrifying. But now, while I'm fully aware my thought process has become rambly and all over the place, I'm still typing coherently so as to get all this mumbo-jumbo across.

Everything about me is just a mess right now. And I'm running out of people to talk to. I don't want to burden my family, don't want to scare off my friends, don't have enough time with my GP (because she has max 10-15 minutes per client), don't have the money to ring helplines or anything, not that I'd even know what to say to them.....fúck it, I really REALLY don't know where the hell I'm supposed to go from here.

Sorry Jimmy, I know I'm being incredibly awkward and obtuse here....again, thanks for your replies, and thank you to everyone else who has talen the time to read. I'm sorry I can't be of more help to you guys but like I said earlier I really suck at giving advice or reassurance.

EDIT: I should mention that I'm not this bad every single night. June 11th is just a really really tough date for me. It's an anniversary of sorts.

EDIT 2: I got so close to telling my housemate (who's also probably my best friend at the moment) the truth about being on anti-depressants.....but froze at the last minute and just said goodnight to her. I've always had a problem with admitting the truth to those I'm closest to the full story, and right now was the perfect opportunity to ease someone into it........but, as per usual, I screw up when it really matters. ='(

I just highlighted the direct negativity, as you know I'm prone to it myself too. Like Drumpot said, negativity like that builds up in your psyche and becomes part of you, hindering chances when they do come along. I think I have only acknowledged recently how much these direct negative thoughts and words will have changed my overall personality. I'm starting to see them as useless thoughts and words, I figure if I can cut down on them (like I'm trying to cut down on smoking hah :P) it will give health benefits. After all, and I don't mean offence because it applies to me, they are indulgent, they are like eating a whole box of after eights!

I don't want to fix you, it's theraputic for me sometimes replying here. If one turn of phrase gives you a moments pause that would be enough for me. But I can relate a lot to what you write!

hollster2 wrote: »

hi all having the worst two weeks of my life ive said before ive being dealing with my partner being addicted to prescription drugs and trying to kill himself well it all came to a head he was let out of lakeview in naas a total disgrace because he wasnt living in there area i begged them he was a danger to himself and myself and kids

so last week when they let him out he went to the pub took 20 purple zanax the highest ones i was staying in my parents house smashed up there cars windows of house i was locked upstairs kuds screaming it was like something out of a horror film so hes going hopefully to rehab today and wants us to get back together ive had ten years hell i cant do it my head telling me one thing and heart telling anoyher like this and broken promises i feel myself getting depressed again and my panic levels are high

ive been to gp but dont want tablets after whats happened i need to be level headed for my kids im now back living with my parents with 3 kids our new house we moved into 3 weeks ago is gone now our new start and its all gone cant stop crying my lifes ruined

Really do whatever it takes to keep yourself well during this time. You at least have the support of parents, try not to take it for granted, instead of it being you and your husband, you just 'tagged in' a team of parents who know a thing or two about looking after kids!

I would ask you to, whenever you find time, just keep writing here, you have people willing to read and relate with you in the most compassionate internet thread I am aware of.

Drumpot wrote: »

. I have applied to be a movie extra which is something that I have always thought about (being in movies) but assumed I would either fail or not get lucky. . Just being happy with the fact that I am special to those who love me has been enough to help me take the step to possibly being more special in a different way (exploring my potential abilities/talents).

Deadly! Is that in Ireland?

Drumpot

Call Me Jimmy wrote: »

Deadly! Is that in Ireland?

It might of sounded more amazing then it actually is. I signed up for movieextras.ie. I also went to an open casting of the series vikings which was on last week in dublin. I mightnt get a part, but the most important thing is that I have put myself in the pot with a chance. Instead of just thinking and lamenting the fact that I will never be anything other then what I am now, I have at least given myself a better chance by applying!

Its funny how powerful a thought can be to our lives. It can make us slaves to our own self critic. Positive actions can combat my constant internal struggle. Going for a walk, getting out of bed, playing with my children, making a cup of tea for my wife, phoning my mum to ask how she is , getting some work done on the house, cutting the grass . . The list goes on and they are simple things that most of us could do in our own lives. Small things that might only give us 1 second of happiness/peace, but for now thats better then nothing.

Starting small is also important. The list above shows how simple things can help you get the stepping stone to bigger things. If getting out of bed in the morning is a big achievement for me, I try not to benchmark this achievement with Gandi and make myself feel even more pathetic then I already do. .

I also try to have little phrases to knock me out of my spiralling negative thought:

• This moment will pass
• Its just a thought

I find it helpful not to look at where I want to get to (emotionally) and instead try to focus on where I am now. I also compare it to where I was a year ago. Sometimes its hard to see my progress, but like i mentioned in previous threads, I have moments during a day when I am content. Not necessarily delighted with life, but where I just think "do you know what, this is ok, where I am in life isnt so bad" and that is infinitely better from where I was constantly thinking I was a useless piece of sh*t.

I know its not easy to read/hear that you get from life what you give, but I am finding that life isnt about what I have at my disposal (family/friend/wealth), its how I perceive MY world. Money has never been important to me, but I resent that the rat race world I live in places a huge emphasis on working to create wealth and comfort. What I am learning is that I dont have to agree or like the way the world works, I only have to learn to live in it, flaws and all.

roseybear

Huayra wrote: »

It's been years since I've been to my actual doctor, I used to go regularly to get checkups and see how my asthma is doing. I am going to a student counsellor at the moment, I have also attended support groups and seen counsellors in my previous college too.
For my injuries, I go to the physio, and am doing everything I am told now. Do you have chronic injuries at the moment too starling? How have you been dealing with them? Hope things are getting better for you.
I am tempted to get a scan or a blood test to see if there is anything that is making it difficult for me to get rid of pain. I feel guilty because its my actions and addiction to running that led me to my current state.
Rosiebear, you sound similar to me, but you seem to be in a much better place now. Its good to see your content with yourself. Best of luck with the triathlons, good your able to train for them now.
I do gentle cycling and lots of walking these days. I don't want to quit running, but am going to forget about marathons and focus on 10k distances, with lots of my running done on grass. I did a marathon 2 years ago and I just got so obsessed with doing another one. I got too ambitious and have broken down as a result. Its gonna take so much patience to get over this.
Does anyone else here feel that there is a link between depression and levels of patience? I am more impatient, when I am feeling worse than I normally do.
PS. I was glad to listen to the newstalk piece on depression.

It took over 2 yrs t gt to a place where im comfortable not going out every day for a run. And it was very difficult im nt going to lie. I couldn't even tell you what the turning point was, I think I just kind of accepted that I wasnt going to be able to do it with the place I was in? Partially this was forced on me as im a nurse and shift work is nt kind to runners. Currently on nights and I know come the end of the week il b very anxious and down about my lack of exercise this week but iv realised in the past while, whats the hurry?! The park will still b there next week, il still have my runners then, the world will nt end if I dnt go running/gym/etc

and yes about being impatient, but I find thats more due to my frustration, anxiety and the stress of trying to control ur mood when ur nt feeling great.

roseybear

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Thanks for the reply.

I may have phrased myself a little badly (my mind tends not to be n the sharpest condition when posting here, sorry about that!) It's not so much that I need to be rich and famous (though that would be nice), moreso I just want to be admired and respected for some form of accomplishment. Like if I was someone who was really good at something, or who had a high position job that not everyone would be able for....I just wish I had some niche to fill in that regard. Even something as simple as being able to sing would make a lot of difference to me, because at least I'd feel like I had some talent or skill that made me stand out.

But there's nothing about me that makes me stand out, and that's why I'm so terrified about the future. Nothing about me would make anyone want to employ me (unless it was for some sort of mindless, tedious labour that involved no talent or creativity), or go out with me, or be friends with me for any extended period of time.

Basically, there's nothing special about me. That's what it boils down to, really. And none of the therapy I've had so far has been able to help me believe otherwise.

I know how this feels and as the previous poster said theres nothing really special about anyone at the end of the day. .but I bet if u told ur parents thats hw u felt they would b so upset. I know I used t break down and say I should just leave, that I was no use at hme that they didn need me, that what I did was nvr good enough, and my mum was so upset firstly because she was upset that that was hw I felt and then shocked that I culd believe that was hw things were. In qualified with my degree sfter a tough time since leaving cert yr really, have a job, have a bf, have another qualification in the pipe line, won my first ever triathlon and yet id still say oh but sure it was a beginners triathlon, r its "just a job" r "sure every body passed their exams".. at the end of the day the only person who cares about that stuff is u and if u meet someone who does care about ur "status" stay clear, cause that will just create more issues. U need to try and find away to become ok with being one of the crowd. It sounds very negative but sometimes its the only way to cope. I found that once I accepted this I started doing more stuff for me, just for the sake of it, and through this I actually started to accomplish stuff that did make me stand out. Just writing this im thinking maybe the stress ur putting on urself to accomplish great things is preventing u frm doing exavtly that. Sorry if its a bit rambling im on nights atm so bit dopey during the day

Just hang tough it will gt btr. And stop drinking or u will stand out from the crowd but for the wrong reason

murria

Deleted User wrote: »

Everything about me is just a mess right now. And I'm running out of people to talk to. I don't want to burden my family, don't want to scare off my friends, don't have enough time with my GP (because she has max 10-15 minutes per client), don't have the money to ring helplines or anything, not that I'd even know what to say to them.....fúck it, I really REALLY don't know where the hell I'm supposed to go from here.

(

You wouldn't be burdening your family by sharing this with them. I'm sure they would be really upset to know that you are struggling on your own with this, I know I would be if you were one of mine. We can really make our issues so much bigger than they really are by keeping them locked inside our heads and letting the chatterbox loose on them. I am very lucky that my kids have always (eventually) come to me with their problems, but I would be just as happy to know that they had a trusted friend to confide in.

You are getting excellent advice here from Drumpot and Rosiebear. Just to throw my sixpence worth in, a couple of things we have found particularly useful are Faster EFT (lot of videos on You Tube) and a book I read recently in pursuit of more information on mindfulness called the Happiness Trap. I downloaded the book on my Kindle and the author (Russ Davis I think) has a website with free downloadable worksheets to use in conjunction with the book, really excellent stuff.

jaffacakesyum

Looks like I'll be moving abroad soon for a few years on my own...not sure if this is a good move or not. On the one hand, if I stay here I'll be still living at home for a while with no job. On the other, if I go away I'll be moving far away on my own (won't be earning enough to go back to visit often), and loneliness is a huge part of my depression. I sort of feel like I'm doing something wrong in moving away and not telling my family at least (none of my friends know either) about my depression..

Boogietime

jaffacakesyum wrote: »

Looks like I'll be moving abroad soon for a few years on my own...not sure if this is a good move or not. On the one hand, if I stay here I'll be still living at home for a while with no job. On the other, if I go away I'll be moving far away on my own (won't be earning enough to go back to visit often), and loneliness is a huge part of my depression. I sort of feel like I'm doing something wrong in moving away and not telling my family at least (none of my friends know either) about my depression..

This loneliness is the worst when you're surrounded by people. Who knows, maybe you'll make great friends!

Finding a job and doing something that feels like you're being useful is a huge step up! Plus it takes your mind off worrying too much. That's what I did and I'm really glad I have!

Consider your options and think ice-cold about it. If it's worth it, go for it! You can come back at any time, given that you're going to a rather safe country

starling

jaffacakesyum wrote: »

Looks like I'll be moving abroad soon for a few years on my own...not sure if this is a good move or not. On the one hand, if I stay here I'll be still living at home for a while with no job. On the other, if I go away I'll be moving far away on my own (won't be earning enough to go back to visit often), and loneliness is a huge part of my depression. I sort of feel like I'm doing something wrong in moving away and not telling my family at least (none of my friends know either) about my depression..

Boogietime is right. If you move away you could find that you make a bunch of new friends! I can understand missing your family & friends here, but does it follow that you'll be lonely in wherever-it-is-you're-going?

pinkstars

I'm waiting to see my psychiatrist, I feel sick.

jaffacakesyum

Boogietime wrote: »

This loneliness is the worst when you're surrounded by people. Who knows, maybe you'll make great friends!

Finding a job and doing something that feels like you're being useful is a huge step up! Plus it takes your mind off worrying too much. That's what I did and I'm really glad I have!

Consider your options and think ice-cold about it. If it's worth it, go for it! You can come back at any time, given that you're going to a rather safe country

starling wrote: »

Boogietime is right. If you move away you could find that you make a bunch of new friends! I can understand missing your family & friends here, but does it follow that you'll be lonely in wherever-it-is-you're-going?

Very true. I'm lonely even though I have a ton of friends here so I don't think it will matter where I go. I think getting back a bit of independence will be good for me too!

Drumpot

In relation to the topic of loneliness, I just want to urge a little bit of caution when discussing the possibility that moving to new surroundings will help it. I am not a psychiatrist and can only speak from my own experience and what I have found out is that wherever I go, I still bring myself and my personal problems with me. Its the one thing that goes with us wherever we travel!

I have a wife, children, family and plenty of friends but until recently had felt like the only person in the world. I felt so lonely, but this loneliness was born out of how I grew up and perhaps a bit of who I am (more predisposed to suffering from depression?!).

I used to think when I was younger that moving away , for a fresh start and making new friends might help. In hindsight I can see why that appealed to me, but I also dont believe it would of seen me progress aswell as I am now.

Moreoften then ever, I think its more important for me to learn how to be content with myself , then it is for me to use people, places or things to help improve my mood. If you think about it, if you are able to improve your own mood/feeling then it doesnt matter where you are or how many friends/family you have in your life.

I am having more meaningful, close friendships with my existing friends. In some cases certain people have shown to be unbelievably helpful/comitted friends. People who I might of expected to be less supportive have been phenomenal (3 friends phone me regularly just to ask how I am feeling).

I know that what works for some people doesnt work for others, but I have found it so empowering learning to speak with friends and family. I am glad I did this before putting my trust in strangers and a new environment.

Bombbastic22

For some reason I find myself checking in to this thread every once in a while and reading a few bits and pieces.

It's kind of comforting to know you're not alone and, these days, it sometimes
seems abnormal not to be depressed.

I was just reading this story online. I thought it was really good and really resonated with it. My friend just thought it was weird and creepy, but I liked it, and maybe some of you folks will too.

It's called 'How Michael Jackson Made me a Nihilist'. Hope ye like it as much as I did.

Forest Demon

RossFixxxed wrote: »

Is this sarcasm? Am I missing the joke? What I can see is one of the stupidest posts I have ever read in my life. I'm absolutely gob smacked this attitude is still about.

You might as well tell someone who has been kneecapped to take up cycling! I hope, for your sake, you never suffer something like this and get told to get some exercise and you'll be grand while your whole life goes into freefall around you.

Feeling bad or down is NOT the same as depression. Read that again. Here I'll say it again: Feeling bad or down is NOT the same as depression.

The supidity of your post is astounding and I hope you take the time to do soem research or talk to some people about these things. You need an education.

Your attitude is part of the stigma that is levelled at people with a serious, life destroying condition (in some cases). Ah sure you'll be grand, go out for a stroll.

What about someone with PTSD say? What should they do to cure it? Eat a carrot? Or someone who is schizophrinic? Knitting?

****ING EXERCISE will cure it? Jesus wept. Congratulations you actually broke my brain with your idiotic posting.

You clearly have NO understanding where these people are coming from and your glib attitude is a real knock back for people. Have some basic human empathy and understanding for others.

If your mother died and I said ah sure drink some water and you won't be sad you'd be furious at me. That's what you're doing.

ANYONE WHO OFFERS A QUICK FIX SOLUTION TO AN IMMENSELY COMPLIATED ISSUE IS TO BE AVOIDED AT ALL COSTS.

Whilst I agree with a lot of what you wrote I think you are a bit harsh calling it one of the stupidest posts ever. We have all clung onto something at some stage that has worked for us even in the short term. It was advice offered with good intentions and for a lot of people exercise would do more than all the medication and CBT in the world. You are right that exercise won't work for everyone but neither will a lot of the crap the medical profession ram down our throats. You could have made your point without all the personal comments. Just saying...

Mr Benevolent

Forest Demon wrote: »

You are right that exercise won't work for everyone but neither will a lot of the crap the medical profession ram down our throats.

Perfectly true. Energetic exercise (fast walking etc) creates a flood of endorphins. Endorphins make you feel better. Ergo, exercise makes you feel good.

Endorphins are hormones the pharmaceutical industry struggle to synthesise as antidepressants. While antidepressants work, generating your own antidepressants works better. And endorphins aren't just created by exercise.

I really should go back into helping people feel better for a living, it's a lot more fulfilling than IT, even if the pay is a lot lower.

Bombbastic22

Well, it may not cure it, but it sure helps and is way better than anti-ds I think.

DeVore

Look I think we can all agree that regular exercise is a good thing. Its not a panacea, it wont solve depression on its own and it may not even have an effect on your mood, but its still a positive thing. The problem goes deeper though and everyone has their own particular mix of causes for their flavour of depression so there really couldnt be a single fix for this. There are however, things with high "hit ratios" and communication, sleep, exercise, nutrition seem to be high on that list.

Can we leave it at that?

Bombbastic22

DeVore wrote: »

Look I think we can all agree that regular exercise is a good thing. Its not a panacea, it wont solve depression on its own and it may not even have an effect on your mood, but its still a positive thing. The problem goes deeper though and everyone has their own particular mix of causes for their flavour of depression so there really couldnt be a single fix for this. There are however, things with high "hit ratios" and communication, sleep, exercise, nutrition seem to be high on that list.

Can we leave it at that?

Aye! ;-)

Drumpot

Excercise is beneficial and advisable whether you suffer from depression or not, but make no mistake its no substitute for the likes of anti depressents. If you need medication to help you get back on track, then it might be something you should reconsider. There is a place for medication, councelling and excercise as a balanced solution. It doesnt have to be exclusively one or the other.

I actually know people really struggling psychologically who are as fit as fiddles (one does regular marathons) and they have placed most of their faith in getting fit. If anything its given them the misguided opinion that there is little else they can do to help themselves (sure they are fit, working hard, what else can a person do ?!).

I get less excercise then I wish I got, I am off anti depressents, but I feel a mixture of everything (excercise/councelling/medication) has helped me find a balance in my life that I dont believe I would of been able to get by putting all my faith in just excercise.

I heard a very interesting saying, if you want to hide something , put it in plain sight. What I have found is that a huge part of the puzzle to my rehabilitation has me being able to figure out that I have the power to learn to feel better, but also being humble enough to accept that I need help along the way (doctors, medication, councelling etc) has helped me open up to other peoples advice. Afterall, if you think about it rationally, if everthing you have tried in your life hasnt worked, then have you anything to lose by letting a professional/friend guide you on an alternative path?

I figured out that if I wanted to feel better and I was willing to do whatever it takes to get well, I would have to be willing to open up to try out methods (within reason) recommended to me by professional people in the medical profession. It was actually when I put my faith in somebody else and trusted they could help me in a way I was unable to help myself, was I able to make progress.

Having faith in another person made me feel like I wasnt alone in fighting against my depression. It took some pressure off me thinking "the only person who can make me feel better is me", because I was helped create a roadmap to help me along the way to serenity. I havent gotten there yet, but I know that opening my mind up to getting other peoples help has been hugely beneficial.

I always knew I needed more excercise ( I joined a gym for a year or 2) and this did help, moreso because I enjoyed the relaxing steamroom/sauna afterwards. This helped me learn how to relax. I was knackered after a hard workout and too tired to be driven mad by my usual thoughts. BUT it was only a part of my rehabilitation.

I am delighted that I get more excercise then I used to, but like I said, I see many people who put TOO much faith in the power of excercise at the expense of dealing with the problems in their life that the struggle with most.

The best metaphor I can give is that if i wanted to be a professional footballer it would help if I was training for Marathons. However it wouldnt be as beneficial to me as getting football training with a football coach. Getting excercise without considering medication/councelling is just like this. You are not giving yourself the best possible opportunity to be the best person you can be.

playedalive

Same! I'd agree that a combination of different methods help the symptoms of depression/anxiety. I've just started swimming classes and feel in a better mood (albeit tired) after.

Huayra

Feel a good bit better today. Thanks for the replies rosiebear and starling.
I went to my counsellor for 2nd appointment last thursday. I learned that there is a difference between thinking and worrying. Most people here probably worry about everything all the time like I do, but are not "thinking". My counsellor is getting me to think about why I am the way I am, my habits and behaviour. Its kindof confusing, so sorry if the post is unclear. He explained it well. A good way to get thinking about these things in life, is reading books. Sounds like a great suggestion as I need a break from tv. I spend a few hours a day watching it.

starling

Huayra wrote: »

Feel a good bit better today. Thanks for the replies rosiebear and starling.
I went to my counsellor for 2nd appointment last thursday. I learned that there is a difference between thinking and worrying. Most people here probably worry about everything all the time like I do, but are not "thinking". My counsellor is getting me to think about why I am the way I am, my habits and behaviour. Its kindof confusing, so sorry if the post is unclear. He explained it well. A good way to get thinking about these things in life, is reading books. Sounds like a great suggestion as I need a break from tv. I spend a few hours a day watching it.

Think I know what you mean huayra, sounds like your counsellor's fairly on the ball. And yeah I find that watching television doesn't help me at all, I hardly watch any now and I don't miss it It's great to get stuck into a book though, totally different experience from telly. Glad to hear it's helping you!