LETS ALL LAUGH AT PEOPLE WITH DEPRESSION!!

Cliona99

starling wrote: »

You may think your academic achievements (and they are achievements) are poor compared to your fellow students, or compared to what you might have been capable of in other circumstances, but you are looking at it through a lens of very high expectations. You are discounting the very significant achievement involved in getting those kind of results with depression. Everyone has their own problems but you are like a man running a race and feeling bad that someone else is running faster than him, forgetting about the fact that he's the only one there who's running in high heels and carrying a backpack full of rocks.

This makes me feel better, (and laugh), so thanks for that.

And Drumpot, I love the idea of Enjoyment/Achievement/Closeness. I just really enjoyed an amazing avocado. It was like a flavour explosion in my mouth. Haven't managed the other two today, but it's not over yet!

Call Me Jimmy

How do I even start?

The pain is non-stop; emotional and physical all tied up in a big knot. I'm just incredibly sad, I can't even express it. I don't whether I want to burst into tears or smash **** up... probably both. I'm having to even reduce what 'I' am in my own head to make myself cope. 'I'm just another human, like just another bird or ant.' Despite the fact that I may seem self-absorbed I am finding how much people identify with themselves as important to be ridiculous. I'm not having a go it just seems like a different world to me, the world of normal watching sports, just deciding to spend some time outside.

I suppose what makes me the saddest is the death of my looks (surprise surprise). It means there will never be a spark to life. I can't even appreciate women anymore, it's too painful even to think about. My head is down and my balance is all over the place, it feels like there is a fire in my brain.

It's just when it comes to it, I am already dead. I don't say that lightly at all but it's like everything in my mind has shut down except the addiction of looking in the mirror (nearly all day every day now) and my outward functions to show that I am okay.

In the grand scheme of things it's not a big deal; one human/animal out of billions doesn't like the cards its dealt. In a way boo hoo. I just don't have the energy any more. It's all gone and I'm bone dry. I can understand how people become religious or get down on there knees and ask a God why. I would scream up to him if I thought he was there.

So so broken, but I can barely feel the pain because it's all one big confusion of sensations. And I'm completely alone in that I've drifted to a place where I couldn't even talk to someone and feel anything, or for it to really register.

Days are going to continue to come, that is the hardest thing to take.

delthedriver

Call Me Jimmy wrote: »

How do I even start?

The pain is non-stop; emotional and physical all tied up in a big knot. I'm just incredibly sad, I can't even express it. I don't whether I want to burst into tears or smash **** up... probably both. I'm having to even reduce what 'I' am in my own head to make myself cope. 'I'm just another human, like just another bird or ant.' Despite the fact that I may seem self-absorbed I am finding how much people identify with themselves as important to be ridiculous. I'm not having a go it just seems like a different world to me, the world of normal watching sports, just deciding to spend some time outside.

I suppose what makes me the saddest is the death of my looks (surprise surprise). It means there will never be a spark to life. I can't even appreciate women anymore, it's too painful even to think about. My head is down and my balance is all over the place, it feels like there is a fire in my brain.

It's just when it comes to it, I am already dead. I don't say that lightly at all but it's like everything in my mind has shut down except the addiction of looking in the mirror (nearly all day every day now) and my outward functions to show that I am okay.

In the grand scheme of things it's not a big deal; one human/animal out of billions doesn't like the cards its dealt. In a way boo hoo. I just don't have the energy any more. It's all gone and I'm bone dry. I can understand how people become religious or get down on there knees and ask a God why. I would scream up to him if I thought he was there.

So so broken, but I can barely feel the pain because it's all one big confusion of sensations. And I'm completely alone in that I've drifted to a place where I couldn't even talk to someone and feel anything, or for it to really register.

Days are going to continue to come, that is the hardest thing to take.

Hi Jimmy,

Well done for posting your thoughts, which are often very hard to extract from one's head.

Over the last few months you have inspired me greatly, and I am certain helped other readers and contributors. For me you are one of my heroes!

Yes you are in a bad phase at the moment , but as we both know these bad days eventually pass.

You need to take very good care of yourself in your dark days, things as we both know get brighter.

Are you liaising with your medical advisors. May I suggest you contact your GP, who may be able to stabilise your current situation.

We must live in the now, and live each day as it comes. Worrying too much about the future can cause great pain for all of us, and as I have found when I reach the anticipated day or week, things always appear much brighter than expected

Jimmy, please try and get some rest, take a chair out to the garden and relax. It is a fabulous day today, very special indeed.

You are special to everyone on this thread, so be kind to yourself.

Best wishes,

Del:)

Call Me Jimmy

delthedriver wrote: »

Hi Jimmy,

Well done for posting your thoughts, which are often very hard to extract from one's head.

Over the last few months you have inspired me greatly, and I am certain helped other readers and contributors. For me you are one of my heroes!

Yes you are in a bad phase at the moment , but as we both know these bad days eventually pass.

You need to take very good care of yourself in your dark days, things as we both know get brighter.

Are you liaising with your medical advisors. May I suggest you contact your GP, who may be able to stabilise your current situation.

We must live in the now, and live each day as it comes. Worrying too much about the future can cause great pain for all of us, and as I have found when I reach the anticipated day or week, things always appear much brighter than expected

Jimmy, please try and get some rest, take a chair out to the garden and relax. It is a fabulous day today, very special indeed.

You are special to everyone on this thread, so be kind to yourself.

Best wishes,

Del:)

Firstly, thanks del. Not to get too loved up but you have been an inspiration in the past to me as well.

I have read a lot of literature about the present moment, but when the present already has become much worse than I would have ever allowed for. If the past 'me' saw things as they are now I don't what he would have done.

delthedriver

Call Me Jimmy wrote: »

Firstly, thanks del. Not to get too loved up but you have been an inspiration in the past to me as well.

I have read a lot of literature about the present moment, but when the present already has become much worse than I would have ever allowed for. If the past 'me' saw things as they are now I don't what he would have done.

Jimmy,

If the past me........etc.
Yes I can understand where you are coming from.
Sure there are times when I wish I could turn back the clock, however accepting my lot and dealing with things on a daily basis or as they arise, has helped me in dealing with this horrible illness .

There was a Whitney Houston song called One moment in time. I don't know all the lyrics of the song , but often sing "one moment in time", it helps me feel better but scare the cats & dogs in the neighbourhood!:rolleyes:

Del:)

JupiterKid

I feel like crap.

I went on a drink-fuelled bender on Thursday ended up and falling out with some people close to me. I also felt suicidal yesterday - at a really low ebb.

Spending tonight over at my ex's place (we're still great friends) and trying to collect my thoughts and self. But I feel so lost, guilty and ashamed. I feel that I have nothing to look forward to.

Went out last night. Was my first night going out in ages. Overall I guess it was an ok night out but, as usual, spent too much money on too much drink. I seem to have a major problem with going online after drinking, it makes me liable to write the most cringeworthy melodramatic stuff. My Twitter account reads like the ramblings of someone who genuinely is insane....and half of the tweets that I woke up to afterwards I don't even remember typing. I guess it's only a trivial issue in the grand scheme of things but I always feel like a complete idiot. I know I've been relying on alcohol too much recently (mostly in my room by myself) but it sucks how going out and getting hammered seems to be the only way of socialising over here.

downonthefarm

i am such a loser,5 years free of any depression anxiety,then all of a sudden bang,its back.seen the warning signs,erratic/risky behaviour,withdrawing from social circles.since xmas.had an accident in my car beacuse my mind was racing and not concentrating ,now ihave to go back to councelling went to doctor and just burst out crying,had to take day $off work .dropped in to tell boss what was going on burst out crying again like an idiot,hopefully counceling helps and i get back to normal soon enough.are we ever going to be cured from this or dowe just have to manage as best we can

delthedriver

JupiterKid wrote: »

I feel like crap.

I went on a drink-fuelled bender on Thursday ended up and falling out with some people close to me. I also felt suicidal yesterday - at a really low ebb.

Spending tonight over at my ex's place (we're still great friends) and trying to collect my thoughts and self. But I feel so lost, guilty and ashamed. I feel that I have nothing to look forward to.

Thursday is gone. Forget about it . Let it go

Live in the Now and enjoy today.

Tomorrow is ahead of you, another new beginning.

Take good care of yourself:)

delthedriver

downonthefarm wrote: »

i am such a loser,5 years free of any depression anxiety,then all of a sudden bang,its back.seen the warning signs,erratic/risky behaviour,withdrawing from social circles.since xmas.had an accident in my car beacuse my mind was racing and not concentrating ,now ihave to go back to councelling went to doctor and just burst out crying,had to take day $off work .dropped in to tell boss what was going on burst out crying again like an idiot,hopefully counceling helps and i get back to normal soon enough.are we ever going to be cured from this or dowe just have to manage as best we can

Sadly, I don't believe there is a cure per se. The way we mind ourselves both physically and psychologically are the key factors in managing depression.

Of course assistance from GPs , Counsellors, medication are necessary components in helping keep the wretched illness at bay.

Be kind to yourself. Life is for living. Live in the Now !

Best wishes,

Del:)

Tchaikovsky

I got dumped by someone I was really into yesterday. I'm heartbroken and missing her already and afraid I'm going to slip back into severe depression
I thought I was doing so well recently too.

delthedriver

downonthefarm wrote: »

i am such a loser,5 years free of any depression anxiety,then all of a sudden bang,its back.seen the warning signs,erratic/risky behaviour,withdrawing from social circles.since xmas.had an accident in my car beacuse my mind was racing and not concentrating ,now ihave to go back to councelling went to doctor and just burst out crying,had to take day $off work .dropped in to tell boss what was going on burst out crying again like an idiot,hopefully counceling helps and i get back to normal soon enough.are we ever going to be cured from this or dowe just have to manage as best we can

Yes, I have been that soldier too.
Perhaps it is necessary for a little time out. Get plenty of rest.
Follow the advices of your doctor who has your best interest at heart.
Be kind to yourself.
Best wishes:)

delthedriver

Tchaikovsky wrote: »

I got dumped by someone I was really into yesterday. I'm heartbroken and missing her already and afraid I'm going to slip back into severe depression
I thought I was doing so well recently too.

Take it easy man!
You may think you met the right person........plenty more fish in the sea.
The right person will appear.
Take good care of your health right now. Get back out there and enjoy life!
Best Regards:)

Tchaikovsky

delthedriver wrote: »

Take it easy man!
You may think you met the right person........plenty more fish in the sea.
The right person will appear.
Take good care of your health right now. Get back out there and enjoy life!
Best Regards:)

Cheers man. I know there's plenty more out there and everything but I only want her. She's the one who made me so happy.
I'm so lost and alone once more and the pain of having your heart served to you is huge.

JupiterKid

Thanks Dell for your words of support. I feel so empty and flat today but watching the tennis earlier lifted my mood a tad. I also did my back in as I fell down a flight of stairs when I'd been drinking.

I'm a bloody mess!!

delthedriver

JupiterKid wrote: »

Thanks Dell for your words of support. I feel so empty and flat today but watching the tennis earlier lifted my mood a tad. I also did my back in as I fell down a flight of stairs when I'd been drinking.

I'm a bloody mess!!

Jupiter,

Chill ! You need to take better care of yourself. Try a little R&R in the sunshine this week. Dump the alcohol . Drink lots of water to rehydrate during this warm weather. Dehydration will make you feel il, which will not help the mood.

From personal experience I believe this warm sunny weather is having a positive effect on my mood. Played golf twice last week....... Something I have not done in years. Easing back on all my other walking activities during this warm spell.Consuming lots of Ballygowan to stay hydrated. Perhaps I am finally practising what I advise others !

Be kind to yourself:)

midlandsmissus

Feel so sad today. Cant cope with my constant up down swings. Im annoying myself and i know im annoying people around me. Im debating whether to tell flatmates or not. Feel like saying 'im really down sometimes because of mtydepression' has anyone told their flatmates?

delthedriver

midlandsmissus wrote: »

Feel so sad today. Cant cope with my constant up down swings. Im annoying myself and i know im annoying people around me. Im debating whether to tell flatmates or not. Feel like saying 'im really down sometimes because of mtydepression' has anyone told their flatmates?

If they are good flat mates, why not?
There is nothing to be ashamed of . Depression is a tough challenge, faced by one in four people in Ireland. Talking to your flatmates about how you feel is a positive move. Better they understand how you feel, if they are good mates they have the chance to become better mates by supporting you. Talk Talk, it costs nothing to have a chat over a cuppa. I think you will be pleasantly surprised by their reaction
Keep us updated please:)

midlandsmissus

delthedriver wrote: »

If they are good flat mates, why not?
There is nothing to be ashamed of . Depression is a tough challenge, faced by one in four people in Ireland. Talking to your flatmates about how you feel is a positive move. Better they understand how you feel, if they are good mates they have the chance to become better mates by supporting you. Talk Talk, it costs nothing to have a chat over a cuppa. I think you will be pleasantly surprised by their reaction
Keep us updated please:)

They are not good mates. I have only moved in with them two months ago but sone days I am so down and untalkative I kbow they are like what the hell is wrong with her.
I do think ur ulyimately right -that you should explain it to people. Its just scary cuz u dont know how theyre going to react.

delthedriver

midlandsmissus wrote: »

They are not good mates. I have only moved in with them two months ago but sone days I am so down and untalkative I kbow they are like what the hell is wrong with her.
I do think ur ulyimately right -that you should explain it to people. Its just scary cuz u dont know how theyre going to react.

As depression is now an everyday topic, perhaps you couldi approach it following an Ad, for Aware or something similar. Start by telling them that 1 in 4 people in Ireland suffer from Depression.......... There is on that basis the likelihood that one of your flat mates may suffer fromDepression or knows someone who does.
Food for thought.

Cliona99

downonthefarm wrote: »

are we ever going to be cured from this or do we just have to manage as best we can

I wonder this a lot too. I used to think of depression as being like cancer. As in, if it comes back, it'll kill me. But it's come back a few times now and I'm still here.

Nowadays I think of it as being more like diabetes. A kind of chronic, life-long, manageable disease. It'll flare up if I'm under stress or not taking care of myself, but if I eat right, exercise and take my medication, I can keep it under control (mostly). The main problem is keeping the eating/sleeping/exercising on track when I'm stressed. At the moment I'm hardly eating at all, and I know it's not good for me, but the appetite just isn't there.

I think taking responsibility for yourself and managing your condition is important. Doctors, counselors and psychiatrists can tell you what to do, but they can't do it for you.

I hope everyone here finds the right mix of treatments and habits and feels better soon. Persevere, your happiness is worth it

This is a much more rambley post than I meant it to be, but hopefullly it makes sense!

RossFixxxed

It's my birthday today, and true to my star sign I've been diagnosed with cancer. HOWEVER, it's very mild and VERY treatable. Phew. I think it's weird that I'm ready to fight it at all costs, I steeled myself up for worse news, and I'm damn well not going to let it stop anything I do... BUUUT I'm still finding the smaller stuff far more stressful, getting to work, getting out and about to enjoy the sun.

It's weird. There's clearly a HUGE reserve of inner strength in there, it just gets misappropriated or something weird like that! Ah well **** cancer, and **** not getting out and about, I'm going to sit in the sun for ten minutes, work be damned!

delthedriver

Cliona99 wrote: »

I wonder this a lot too. I used to think of depression as being like cancer. As in, if it comes back, it'll kill me. But it's come back a few times now and I'm still here.

Nowadays I think of it as being more like diabetes. A kind of chronic, life-long, manageable disease. It'll flare up if I'm under stress or not taking care of myself, but if I eat right, exercise and take my medication, I can keep it under control (mostly). The main problem is keeping the eating/sleeping/exercising on track when I'm stressed. At the moment I'm hardly eating at all, and I know it's not good for me, but the appetite just isn't there.

I think taking responsibility for yourself and managing your condition is important. Doctors, counselors and psychiatrists can tell you what to do, but they can't do it for you.

I hope everyone here finds the right mix of treatments and habits and feels better soon. Persevere, your happiness is worth it

This is a much more rambley post than I meant it to be, but hopefullly it makes sense!

Cliona,

Well done! Excellent post.

Regards,
Del:)

JupiterKid

I'm here lying in bed in a friend's house and I feel little motivation to get up and do anything. I feel empty, guilty and depressed.

Because of my constant, long-term battle with anxiety the thought of me going out to get a birthday card and present for my friend (whose birthday is tomorrow) is almost daunting. My drinking bender on Thurs and Fri last badly damaged some family relationships that I'm not sure can be recovered at this point.

I feel safe here in bed, despite my back pain. It is my refuge, my cocoon. Seeing my psychiatrist on Wednesday. I feel lost.

delthedriver

RossFixxxed wrote: »

It's my birthday today, and true to my star sign I've been diagnosed with cancer. HOWEVER, it's very mild and VERY treatable. Phew. I think it's weird that I'm ready to fight it at all costs, I steeled myself up for worse news, and I'm damn well not going to let it stop anything I do... BUUUT I'm still finding the smaller stuff far more stressful, getting to work, getting out and about to enjoy the sun.

It's weird. There's clearly a HUGE reserve of inner strength in there, it just gets misappropriated or something weird like that! Ah well **** cancer, and **** not getting out and about, I'm going to sit in the sun for ten minutes, work be damned!

Happy Birthday Ross!

Well done , I like your fighting spirit.

Wishing you a speedy return to good health

Best Regards,

Del

delthedriver

JupiterKid wrote: »

I'm here lying in bed in a friend's house and I feel little motivation to get up and do anything. I feel empty, guilty and depressed.

Because of my constant, long-term battle with anxiety the thought of me going out to get a birthday card and present for my friend (whose birthday is tomorrow) is almost daunting. My drinking bender on Thurs and Fri last badly damaged some family relationships that I'm not sure can be recovered at this point.

I feel safe here in bed, despite my back pain. It is my refuge, my cocoon. Seeing my psychiatrist on Wednesday. I feel lost.

Jupiter,
Rest is what you need at the moment, so take it easy. It would be nice to rest in the garden where you could still feel safe in your cocoon. I have been that soldier lying in bed, the current weather is forcing me outdoors. Don't dwell on what happened last week. Concentrate on today and how you will get better.
Your Psychiatrist will help get you motoring again on Wednesday.
Meanwhile , chill ax !:)
Del

RossFixxxed

delthedriver wrote: »

Happy Birthday Ross!

Well done , I like your fighting spirit.

Wishing you a speedy return to good health

Best Regards,

Del

Thanks very much I appreciate it.

I've been itching for a fight to be honest, so this'll be one for sure! I'm not a great fighter but I always, always get back up again.

I'll bleedin take yis all on!


I hope everyone is feeling a little better today and gets an oppotunity to get some of the sun on your face! I'm personally melting into a blob of shirt and sweat tbh, but the light is lovely and people seem happier (and more naked, thanks ladies!). It's nice to walk around in.

delthedriver

RossFixxxed wrote: »

Thanks very much I appreciate it.

I've been itching for a fight to be honest, so this'll be one for sure! I'm not a great fighter but I always, always get back up again.

I'll bleedin take yis all on!


I hope everyone is feeling a little better today and gets an oppotunity to get some of the sun on your face! I'm personally melting into a blob of shirt and sweat tbh, but the light is lovely and people seem happier (and more naked, thanks ladies!). It's nice to walk around in.

Out and about enjoying the sunshine too!
The Irish ladies have pulled out all the stops , looking as good or better than the European girls!:)

RossFixxxed

Spent the entire day inside, hiding from the sun and from other people. I'm supposed to be a month into my MSc dissertation but have got absolutely nothing done. Every night before I go to bed I say "tomorrow will be different"...then I inevitably sleep in for the day and get nothing done. I was supposed to have a meeting with my supervisor today but couldn't bear facing him with yet again no work to show. They know I'm having problems and have said I can apply for an extension but there's no guarantee I'd get it. If I don't, then I'm screwed....

RossFixxxed wrote: »

I hope everyone is feeling a little better today and gets an oppotunity to get some of the sun on your face! I'm personally melting into a blob of shirt and sweat tbh, but the light is lovely and people seem happier (and more naked, thanks ladies!). It's nice to walk around in.

That's also why I avoid going outside tbh. Seeing other people much better looking than me and with much better bodies than me makes me feel so self-conscious and ugly. Also the heat and the Efexor are making me sweat buckets constantly, I feel so uncomfortable. Starting to wonder if this damn medication is worth it; I'm on the maximum dose now and all it does is make me sweat constantly and make me drowsy at inopportune times. :mad::(

delthedriver

Deleted User wrote: »

Spent the entire day inside, hiding from the sun and from other people. I'm supposed to be a month into my MSc dissertation but have got absolutely nothing done. Every night before I go to bed I say "tomorrow will be different"...then I inevitably sleep in for the day and get nothing done. I was supposed to have a meeting with my supervisor today but couldn't bear facing him with yet again no work to show. They know I'm having problems and have said I can apply for an extension but there's no guarantee I'd get it. If I don't, then I'm screwed....



That's also why I avoid going outside tbh. Seeing other people much better looking than me and with much better bodies than me makes me feel so self-conscious and ugly. Also the heat and the Efexor are making me sweat buckets constantly, I feel so uncomfortable. Starting to wonder if this damn medication is worth it; I'm on the maximum dose now and all it does is make me sweat constantly and make me drowsy at inopportune times. :mad::(

Effexor and this warm weather can make life uncomfortable. It may be worth discussing with your Prescribing Doctor , to see if there is an alternative. In the meantime , please ensure that you are drinking lots of water and juices to avoid dehydration. Please take good care of yourself. Try and get out into the garden and enjoy the sunshine while it lasts. The weather will inevitably change again,so meanwhile make the best of it:)