LETS ALL LAUGH AT PEOPLE WITH DEPRESSION!!

Huayra

Been a while since I've been here. Mainly cause I was fed up and needed a break. Am normally on the athletics forums all the time, and is depressing seeing how good people are running when I'm a failure.
This morning I got up and decided not to do a 10k race that I had signed up for. It was such a hard thing to do, but I knew that it would have just crippled me and made me wish I never existed. I have already had the experience of dropping out of a race half way and being in sickening agony for a week. I guess its a comfort knowing that today would have been alot worse if I attempted the race.
I would love to find some sort of skill or hobby that I am good at but its such a challenge. Nothing really else to say, just that I feel like I'm talentless the whole time

delthedriver

Huayra wrote: »

Been a while since I've been here. Mainly cause I was fed up and needed a break. Am normally on the athletics forums all the time, and is depressing seeing how good people are running when I'm a failure.
This morning I got up and decided not to do a 10k race that I had signed up for. It was such a hard thing to do, but I knew that it would have just crippled me and made me wish I never existed. I have already had the experience of dropping out of a race half way and being in sickening agony for a week. I guess its a comfort knowing that today would have been alot worse if I attempted the race.
I would love to find some sort of skill or hobby that I am good at but its such a challenge. Nothing really else to say, just that I feel like I'm talentless the whole time

Swimming, Cycling??? Great way to keep fit and much less damaging on the knees and ankles. I started running again after a few years break, had to give it up, found the strain on the ankle and knee joints was horrendous, which did not help my mood.
Walking, less harsh on the knees, but good for fitness, listen to your ipod while walking, very relaxing, alternatively borrow a friend's dog, great company. You will walk for miles. My problem is I have to walk the dog at off peak hours, meet so many people stop and chat.
Last week I left house with dog for a 30 min walk,, two hours later I met my wife who, very concerned, came out looking for her precious dog.
She was not concerned about me! Of course I met about 10 individuals who stopped for a chat.
It can have a twofold effect, if you are feeling lonely , you can have a brief chat with one or two people, or 10, which helps lift mood. Alternatively by walking off peak you can enjoy your own company with responsibility for the dog

Huayra

Hi, walking a dog would be great. I love large bread dogs, and would be a dream to have a malamute and ridgeback. They need tonnes of exercise anyway. I can see the benefit it would have in helping you meet people. I am really shy and get nervous meeting people, but I think having a dog someday would be great. I will never have kids as my social anxiety may make having a family impossible, so I plan to have dogs instead anyway. Its a really good idea there. I think it valuable to be responsible for something else

roseybear

Huayra wrote: »

Been a while since I've been here. Mainly cause I was fed up and needed a break. Am normally on the athletics forums all the time, and is depressing seeing how good people are running when I'm a failure.
This morning I got up and decided not to do a 10k race that I had signed up for. It was such a hard thing to do, but I knew that it would have just crippled me and made me wish I never existed. I have already had the experience of dropping out of a race half way and being in sickening agony for a week. I guess its a comfort knowing that today would have been alot worse if I attempted the race.
I would love to find some sort of skill or hobby that I am good at but its such a challenge. Nothing really else to say, just that I feel like I'm talentless the whole time

I really feel that what ur going through is me 2 yrs ago. What made it worse (not sure if u have this 2 r nt) is that both my parents and my sister r heavily involved still so every converstaion in my house is athletics based and my mum who used to coach me would ask"have u gne for a run today/r u running today" r would have her giving me updates like "oh such and such ran this today isn she great gtting out and doing it" im just like LEAVE ME ALONE just let me enjoy it, dnt put pressure on me to do it. I would love love love to gt bck into it, I really really would but I just dnt think its good for me. And with the hrs I work (im a nurse) it wouldn b possible to b competitive. I dnt necessarily mean winning things, bt being up there and gttin pbs. If I didn c improvement I would just feel worse. The triathlons I like (have a look at my log in the athletics/tri forum) as u r battling with urself more than anyone else. No one really gives a **** hw u do, it seems t b more about the taking part which is totally new to me.

Its just gna take time to gt used to the idea that u arent the best out there r learn to just hear hw ppl did but nt hold on to the thoughts like I was ahead of them r I was running this time.. sometimes it just doesn't come together. It sucks and its crappy when ur hearing hw other ppl r doing and u love the sport but sometimes its just nt good for u

starling

Mikemac that's awful, your symptoms are very severe. Please, please see a doctor. You don't have to deal with this all by yourself. You're not a failure, you have an illness. That's all.

starling

Roseybear is right Huayra, let go of the competitive stuff, you can enjoy sport or physical activity without having to be good at it!
I have a cousin who runs races and is very fast, and sometimes we would go running together. We'd go to the park and warm up and stretch together. Then she would run a full lap of the park and I'd run around the little field! I never thought "You need to be faster" I had never been athletic before and I found myself amazed at how much I enjoyed just doing it for its own sake. Plus the endorphin rush was incredible!

If I had looked at it in a competitive light I think that would have ruined it for me. People think that races etc are the natural way to go if you run, but there's no rule to say you can't just enjoy it. Even competing against yourself can add an element of pressure that takes away from the sheer enjoyment of physical activity.

delthedriver

Huayra wrote: »

Hi, walking a dog would be great. I love large bread dogs, and would be a dream to have a malamute and ridgeback. They need tonnes of exercise anyway. I can see the benefit it would have in helping you meet people. I am really shy and get nervous meeting people, but I think having a dog someday would be great. I will never have kids as my social anxiety may make having a family impossible, so I plan to have dogs instead anyway. Its a really good idea there. I think it valuable to be responsible for something else

Thrilling news. You sound like a very caring, sincere person
Go for it! Perhaps a rescue dog initially.? You would certainly be giving some poor dog a chance. They are also very affectionate and return your kindness over and over.
Your self confidence will improve dramatically, you will be surprised how many people who will stop for a chat about the dog,always a great icebreaker. I believe your social anxiety in time will be controlled so who knows what the future holds.
Since walking our dog I have met lots of people from various parts of the country and the world. People I previously new simply as a nodding acquaintance, we are now on first name terms and I have even had coffee with them.
I honestly believe you are on the verge of a major breakthrough in your life, be kind to yourself and spoil a dog:)
Your fitness level will improve too!:)

Cliona99

I read something today that helped me feel a bit less nervous about meeting up next month. Just in case anyone else is nervous too, http://chrisguillebeau.com/3x5/writing-and-speaking-for-introverts/

delthedriver

Cliona99 wrote: »

I read something today that helped me feel a bit less nervous about meeting up next month. Just in case anyone else is nervous too, http://chrisguillebeau.com/3x5/writing-and-speaking-for-introverts/

Thanks Cliona,

Very interesting article, certainly thought provoking.:)

Huayra

Thanks. You are all really nice. I notice you putting so much effort into replying to peoples dilemmas on the forum. Its good to give something back, and helping others helps you with your own depression.
Del,rosie,starling, I remember your stories from last time you replied to me aswell. You really bring this forum to life. Difference with my family though is that my mother doesn't know anything/no interest in athletics, but it alot of pressure to do really well academically.
I don't bother with athletics forums here. It isn't going to make any difference to anyone else there anyway. Am talking about this subject too much all the time, I will focus on other things from now on. Getting a dog will be a big milestone and turning point i agree, but will need my own place and a good income first. Getting away from home will be so nice. Just my parents left living in the house and I feel like they almost hate eachother.
As early as possible next year is my aim to get out of there

murria

Huayra, something that might be of interest to you is volunteering at theDSPCA or local equivalent. I did it for a year in dog rehoming, its all about walking and caring for the animals (OK there is a bit of cleaning up poo too). You only commit to the hours you can afford on a monthly basis. Great way to get your doggy fix until you can have your own. You can also interect as much or as little as you like with the humans.

delthedriver

murria wrote: »

Huayra, something that might be of interest to you is volunteering at theDSPCA or local equivalent. I did it for a year in dog rehoming, its all about walking and caring for the animals (OK there is a bit of cleaning up poo too). You only commit to the hours you can afford on a monthly basis. Great way to get your doggy fix until you can have your own. You can also interect as much or as little as you like with the humans.

Murria, Excellent idea.

Huayra,Not only will you get your doggy fix, but it will also give you the opportunity to see which breed realistically meets your lifestyle.

Regarding your current lifestyle, I fear it is undermining your confidence and self esteem. Having your own space next year will help enormously in your life.

Meanwhile, live in The Now, and make the very best of each day. Life is for living.

Be kind to yourself.

Best wishes,

Del

L.Jenkins

Had a complete meltdown on Saturday night. I had been living with my parents and my fiancée for the last couple of months after losing my job in Dublin. My situation improved with a new job in Longford and we've recently moved out into our own apartment. I must say, I've forgot what freedom feels like.

My parents both in their 60s have an extreme tendency to worry and transfer a lot of that onto my fiancée and I. With my brother living in the US and going through a rough time of it, my parents seem to be worrying a lot more and causing serious arguments over nothing. Instead of having a civil conversation, it's come to the point where my fiancée and I can't stand to be in their presence for too long.

What I didn't realise until Saturday, is that I closed down and began dealing with my parents in my own, completely shutting my fiancée in the process. I became numb to the situation and just completely blanked and lost interest in everything. My fiancée after reaching breaking point with my parents over a type puncture, get really upset in our new apartment, letting me know how I haven't made physical contact with her in some time and thought I was cheating.

That's when I broke down and realised what had happened over the last couple of weeks. My medication helped my moods, but did nothing to help how I dealt with my family. My fiancée and I are fine now, but we're considering couples counselling, as she also has Bipolar Disorder and Photo Sensitive Epilepsy.

That's been my week so far and I seem to be on a high at the moment.

starling

Itzy, Huayra, I completely understand what you're going through. I am stuck living with my mother after my disability resulted in losing my job and therefore my flat (didn't qualify for rent allowance).
My mother has emotional problems and is a very angry, emotionally abusive person.She's been like that all my life, but now that my dad is gone there's no-one to step in and keep the peace when things get really bad.
In fact Huayra while I was Reading your post she was screaming at me. And like you Itzy I tend to shut down because anything else makes her even angrier. I grew up with this stuff and spent so long clenching my jaw in a subconscious effort to keep quiet that it became automatic; the first time I moved out I suddenly noticed I was getting far fewer headaches and it took me ages to figure out why. I literally had no idea I was constantly clenching my jaw and even now I catch myself doing it and have to make a conscious effort to relax.
At times lately things have been so bad I've noticed my hands shaking, which is a new one for me.
Getting your own place is like leaving a stuffy room and taking a deep breath of fresh air. In the meantime Huayra I know how severely an unhappy environment can affect your mental health, but just try to remember that other people's anger is their own issue, no matter whether they're a stranger on the street or your parents, just keep telling yourself "This is not about me, it's about them."
Itzy I think going for couples counselling will be great for you & your fiancée. It's not the sign of a doomed relationship. It's the sign of two people committed to making and keeping their relationship strong and happy, and I think that you will both learn a lot about relating to each other healthily and honestly. I think a lot of people would have much happier relationships if they did a bit of counselling.

L.Jenkins

You're description of your own Mother Starling, reminds me of my own in a way. Has a tendency to be emotionally abusive and uses guilt to get her own way. Other times she can be bearable. We're thinking she may suffer from type 1 Bipolar Disorder. My Dad doesn't say anything as he has learned to keep quite to, to save the hassle of my Mother having a strop.

starling

Yeah, there are thousands of people living with undiagnosed/untreated mental illness in this country, and often it's only their closest relatives who see the signs or bear the brunt of it. My mother had a terrible childhood, she grew up in tenement in Glasgow, and besides the material poverty her own mother was a monster. So in her own way she has done her best to be better than that but she wouldn't dream of going to a doctor and talking about her feelings, in fact she doesn't talk about feelings with anyone, full stop. I'm fairly certain she's got her own depression but she doesn't believe in depression so obviously she isn't getting treated. (Other things she doesn't believe are real: jetlag, fibromyalgia, ME and chronic pain disorder).
It's entirely possible that your mum has her own mental health issues but unfortunately it's very difficult for some people to really look at these things, to challenge their own prejudices about mental illness, sometimes they're so scared they will be seen as "mad" that they are literally unable to even consider whether they might have issues. I'm pretty sure that my mother doesn't realise half the things she does. I know she doesn't do it on purpose.
I don't know what there is to be done about it. You can't force someone to get help, unless they're a serious danger to others or themselves; yet at the same time, you've got to have your own boundaries, you've got to be able to refuse to take abuse or endanger your own mental health.
Unfortunately sometimes the ony thing you can do is get away from the person. It's very hard to do that when it's your parent or family member because of course you feel guilty. We just all need to decide for ourselves where the line is and how much we're willing to take.
And if you've grown up with that person it's even harder to know where that boundary should be, because you think certain things are normal. Over time you begin to learn "this or that is not normal" but often the emotional programming that happens in childhood doesn't really surface until you're in a serious relationship and you find yourself unconsciously playing out those same patterns.
Like, once when I was a kid I went to stay overnight at a schoolfriends house and when I went to the kitchen in the morning, the whole family said "Good morning!" to each other and to me, and I was literally speechless. I thought "Good morning" was something strangers said to each other to be polite (I thought it was normal for people to be all nice and polite to each other in public and then vicious behind closed doors). In my house nobody said good morning, you either got stony silence or you got roared at over your breakfast.

But I learned about that because it was such a visible thing. It was only years later when I was in a job and a relationship that I started unconsciously acting in ways that were the results of the emotional lessons I learned as a kid.

Like for example if a stranger in a pub says something nasty to me I have no problem whatsoever just telling them to go fûck themselves. But when a manager or someone in a position of authority shouted at me or tried to bully me, my throat would automatically close up until I was literally physically unable to speak. It was only when a counsellor explained it to me that I learned this was an unconscious response to what I learned as soon as I could speak: talking back is not allowed and will get you severely punished.

It's not that I think we should all point finger at our parents. We're grownups now and we're responsible for our own mental health. But looking at the ways in which our upbringing has affected us emotionally can help us to understand ourselves and why we feel certain things or deal with situations in a certain way; sometimes we really need to identify and try to counteract the messages we got in childhood.

It's possible that if enough people - family members, mainly - got together and had a kind of intervention to tell someone how their behaviour affects them, they might have a look at how they're acting and maybe think about seeing someone. But I have to say that I think depending on the person themselves the chances of it working might be pretty slim. It wouldn't matter how many people told my mother that her interactions are not healthy, she wouldn't take any notice. My dad stepped in a few times and told her that she was always aggressive any time she spoke to me, as opposed to how she spoke to my brother. The only result was that she saved up her anger for times when he was at work or out of the house.

Sometimes we just have to accept that a person isn't going to change, and find our own way of dealing. I hide in the attic a lot (that's where I sleep). Avoidance. My dad did it a lot too.

delthedriver

Starling,

Well done!

Your post is heartfelt.

Sincerely, I hope your living arrangements improve. That is quite a cross to bear.

Surely, there must be an alternative accommodation available?

It is not right that you don't qualify for, RA!

Warmest wishes,

Del

starling

delthedriver wrote: »

Starling,

Well done!

Your post is heartfelt.

Sincerely, I hope your living arrangements improve. That is quite a cross to bear.

Surely, there must be an alternative accommodation available?

It is not right that you don't qualify for, RA!

Warmest wishes,

Del

Thanks Del, sometimes just letting it out really helps me. I'm looking into getting some class of social housing but of course there are tons of people who arguably need it more, and there are limited resources available.

Rent allowance is a bit unrealistic here, the limit for a single person is 520 a month, you won't get a parking space for that money! People have this vague notion that "rents are coming down" but they don't realise how much rents increased during the good times.

In 2004 I went flat hunting and I'd budgeted for about €400 a month. After seeing a few places in that price range - places you'd be prosecuted for keeping a dog in - I figured I'd better juggle my budget a bit and managed to afford a flat at €560.

After three and a bit years (part IV tenancy) my landlady pulled the old "I need this flat for a family member" trick so she could give me notice. She later rented my flat to someone else for €700 a month.

I went back to flat hunting and this time, because rents had increased so much I budgeted €800 a month. And I found myself viewing the exact same cr@pholes that had been €400 a month the first time around. Not similar flats, literally the exact same ones with no improvements or refurbishment. One of them had a shower stall made out of bar trays, I'm not kidding.

Anyway I've been keeping a diary and plan to use extracts from it as evidence that despite living in the family home, my living situation is unacceptable. I can only hope the housing officer agrees!

Cheers:)

delthedriver

starling wrote: »

Thanks Del, sometimes just letting it out really helps me. I'm looking into getting some class of social housing but of course there are tons of people who arguably need it more, and there are limited resources available.

Rent allowance is a bit unrealistic here, the limit for a single person is 520 a month, you won't get a parking space for that money! People have this vague notion that "rents are coming down" but they don't realise how much rents increased during the good times.

In 2004 I went flat hunting and I'd budgeted for about €400 a month. After seeing a few places in that price range - places you'd be prosecuted for keeping a dog in - I figured I'd better juggle my budget a bit and managed to afford a flat at €560.


After three and a bit years (part IV tenancy) my landlady pulled the old "I need this flat for a family member" trick so she could give me notice. She later rented my flat to someone else for €700 a month.

I went back to flat hunting and this time, because rents had increased so much I budgeted €800 a month. And I found myself viewing the exact same cr@pholes that had been €400 a month the first time around. Not similar flats, literally the exact same ones with no improvements or refurbishment. One of them had a shower stall made out of bar trays, I'm not kidding.

Anyway I've been keeping a diary and plan to use extracts from it as evidence that despite living in the family home, my living situation is unacceptable. I can only hope the housing officer agrees!

Cheers:)

Rents are actually increasing in the Greater Dublin Area.

That is shocking accommodation being offered by landlords, or perhaps as a landlord I am too soft. Seriously I would not expect a tenant to live in conditions I would not live in myself.

In your case living in the attic of your family home must surely qualify you as needing urgent assistance.

I don't know your circumstances , but would relocating to another county improve your lot? It may be a clean break for you and an opportunity to start a better life for yourself:)

starling

delthedriver wrote: »

Rents are actually increasing in the Greater Dublin Area.

That is shocking accommodation being offered by landlords, or perhaps as a landlord I am too soft. Seriously I would not expect a tenant to live in conditions I would not live in myself.

In your case living in the attic of your family home must surely qualify you as needing urgent assistance.

I don't know your circumstances , but would relocating to another county improve your lot? It may be a clean break for you and an opportunity to start a better life for yourself:)

Well if you could show that you were living in the attic because the rest of the house was full maybe it would help your case, but since this is a 3 bed semi and therefore there are currently two empty bedrooms, I doubt it would be much help to me. Try explaining to the housing folks that my mother needs those rooms so she can take in foreign students? No chance, especially when she'll deny it to her last breath.
I'm up against the stereotype of the Irish Mammy who will let her adult children live with her rent free and feed them and do all their laundry etc. Hard to explain that my mum's basically the diametric opposite.

I'm not sure how emigrating would help in my situation. I'd have to leave the hse system and start again in a new system, which would probably involve going back onto a waiting list and being untreated in the meantime. Since I literally cannot function without the prescription drugs I'm on atm, that's not an option. I waited three years just to get in to the pain clinic here, and I can't do that again.

Moving to a foreign country would require expenses I couldn't cover, and would leave me alone in a strange place where I knew nobody and had nowhere to go for support or help. I think it would probably make things ten times worse:(

delthedriver

starling wrote: »

Well if you could show that you were living in the attic because the rest of the house was full maybe it would help your case, but since this is a 3 bed semi and therefore there are currently two empty bedrooms, I doubt it would be much help to me. Try explaining to the housing folks that my mother needs those rooms so she can take in foreign students? No chance, especially when she'll deny it to her last breath.
I'm up against the stereotype of the Irish Mammy who will let her adult children live with her rent free and feed them and do all their laundry etc. Hard to explain that my mum's basically the diametric opposite.

I'm not sure how emigrating would help in my situation. I'd have to leave the hse system and start again in a new system, which would probably involve going back onto a waiting list and being untreated in the meantime. Since I literally cannot function without the prescription drugs I'm on atm, that's not an option. I waited three years just to get in to the pain clinic here, and I can't do that again.

Moving to a foreign country would require expenses I couldn't cover, and would leave me alone in a strange place where I knew nobody and had nowhere to go for support or help. I think it would probably make things ten times worse:(

Sorry, I suggested moving to another county?? I guess you are in Dublin at present? Would rents be cheaper outside Dublin? Perhaps it is not feasible to relocate??:)

starling

delthedriver wrote: »

Sorry, I suggested moving to another county?? I guess you are in Dublin at present? Would rents be cheaper outside Dublin? Perhaps it is not feasible to relocate??:)

Oooops sorry I totally misread that! Yet another situation in which I wish there was a "facepalm" smiley. Or possibly a "Please excuse Starling she is on drugs":D

In fairness I did actually think "huh, why would del suggest that, he's a sharp tack":pac:

in any case yes rents would be much cheaper if I left the city, but so would rent allowance. Also it would mean being unable to get to my doctor and pharmacist neither of whom I fancy replacing; especially in the case of my doctor I don't like the thought of starting all over again with a new one.

Current doctor is brilliant, also she's familiar with my history and knows I'm not making this stuff up. She's seen me refusing to leave my job despite her advice so she knows I'm not malingering; I might not be so lucky with another doctor as "My back hurts" is the obvious story for anyone wanting to scam the SW. It's not like I can point to a test or Xray and say "There it is" I have to rely on the doctor to believe what I'm telling them.

Since I can't drive I need to be close to public transport which has an effect on rent. Basically all the practical details would outweigh any money saved.:(

I know we can be very good at coming up with reasons not to take risks or change, I'm excellent at that:) but in this case I am pretty much stuck where I am for the time being:(

delthedriver

starling wrote: »

Oooops sorry I totally misread that! Yet another situation in which I wish there was a "facepalm" smiley. Or possibly a "Please excuse Starling she is on drugs":D

In fairness I did actually think "huh, why would del suggest that, he's a sharp tack":pac:

in any case yes rents would be much cheaper if I left the city, but so would rent allowance. Also it would mean being unable to get to my doctor and pharmacist neither of whom I fancy replacing; especially in the case of my doctor I don't like the thought of starting all over again with a new one.

Current doctor is brilliant, also she's familiar with my history and knows I'm not making this stuff up. She's seen me refusing to leave my job despite her advice so she knows I'm not malingering; I might not be so lucky with another doctor as "My back hurts" is the obvious story for anyone wanting to scam the SW. It's not like I can point to a test or Xray and say "There it is" I have to rely on the doctor to believe what I'm telling them.

Since I can't drive I need to be close to public transport which has an effect on rent. Basically all the practical details would outweigh any money saved.:(

I know we can be very good at coming up with reasons not to take risks or change, I'm excellent at that:) but in this case I am pretty much stuck where I am for the time being:(

Starling,

No problem at all.

I was merely trying to help you consider all the options available.

Most certainly I don't wish for you to leave the country.

I can understand why you would not wish to lose contact with your Pharmacist nor GP, I too would have a difficulty with that personally. However I am certain that medical records could be transferred from your GP to another in a different part of the country if you so wished, with an appropriate letter of recommendation.

I think your home situation is greatly exacerbating your condition. If that could be remedied somehow I think you could blossom like a summer rose.

Can your GP help in your negotiations with the Housing Authority?

Meanwhile stay strong and take one day at a time:)

starling

I am definitely better when I'm not living with my mum, it's not like it actually cures my depression but it certainly lessens the stress and unpleasantness of never knowing when a random thing is going to trigger a huge row. When I moved out last it felt like putting down a heavy weight.

That's actually a great idea about getting my GP involved in the housing situation, thanks, I will definitely talk to her about it!

delthedriver

starling wrote: »

I am definitely better when I'm not living with my mum, it's not like it actually cures my depression but it certainly lessens the stress and unpleasantness of never knowing when a random thing is going to trigger a huge row. When I moved out last it felt like putting down a heavy weight.

That's actually a great idea about getting my GP involved in the housing situation, thanks, I will definitely talk to her about it!

It is certainly worth a try.

As an alternative have you considered the possibility of house sharing with some people of your own age group, a la Friends? It would help put the past behind you and help develop a new life for yourself.

Also worth considering renting a room in an owner occupied house. In this situation the owner of the house can rent a room which is not liable for tax under The Revenue , Rent a Room Facility. I guess there are plenty of owner occupiers who would be delighted with some extra cash to pay their mortgages at present

Plenty of food for thought. It would certainly be nice for you to regain control of your health and life.

Best Wishes,

Del.:)

starling

I don't actually know a lot of people of my own age group who haven't emigrated or got married!

This might sound weird but I just really like living on my own. I like being able to walk around half-naked and since my sleep patterns are a bit messed up I am often awake at odd hours of the night, I wouldn't like to think i was disturbing anyone else. I just feel like it's this huge relief to close the door and know that this space, however small, is mine and no-one can come in unless I let them.

Possibly this is a result of all the times I woke up to find my mother standing over the bed screaming at me.:pac:

Also after living with a spectacularly lazy boyfriend and some very weird Italians, I get a bizarre thrill out of knowing that if I clean the bathroom and go to bed, the bathroom will still be clean when I get up

Even though sometimes it gets lonely living on your own and maybe it would be better to live with someone else, I think that feeling of having "control" over my own space is great.

Edit: Also I can listen to country music and embarrassinlgy cheesy 80s pop without having anyone else go mental!:D

delthedriver

starling wrote: »

I don't actually know a lot of people of my own age group who haven't emigrated or got married!

This might sound weird but I just really like living on my own. I like being able to walk around half-naked and since my sleep patterns are a bit messed up I am often awake at odd hours of the night, I wouldn't like to think i was disturbing anyone else. I just feel like it's this huge relief to close the door and know that this space, however small, is mine and no-one can come in unless I let them.

Possibly this is a result of all the times I woke up to find my mother standing over the bed screaming at me.:pac:

Also after living with a spectacularly lazy boyfriend and some very weird Italians, I get a bizarre thrill out of knowing that if I clean the bathroom and go to bed, the bathroom will still be clean when I get up

Even though sometimes it gets lonely living on your own and maybe it would be better to live with someone else, I think that feeling of having "control" over my own space is great.

Edit: Also I can listen to country music and embarrassinlgy cheesy 80s pop without having anyone else go mental!:D

Starling,

Easy!!!!

Walking around half naked and listening to 80's music..............??:D

Not much wrong with that I guess.

Country music........mmmmmmm??

Seriously I can understand how delightful having one's own space can be.

Have a great weekend;)

starling

delthedriver wrote: »

Country music........mmmmmmm??

You see what I'm saying....not everyone appreciates the sheer musical genius that is Willie Nelson:(

delthedriver

starling wrote: »

You see what I'm saying....not everyone appreciates the sheer musical genius that is Willie Nelson:(

Willie Nelson is fine, I was afraid you were a fan of Big Tom , Daniel O'Donnell.........................etc:D

starling

delthedriver wrote: »

Willie Nelson is fine, I was afraid you were a fan of Big Tom , Daniel O'Donnell.........................etc:D

Proper country. Outlaw country. Irish country is the work of Lucifer.:D