LETS ALL LAUGH AT PEOPLE WITH DEPRESSION!!

username_x

Just wondering if anyone has any experience with Effexor tablets?

token56

username_x wrote: »

Just wondering if anyone has any experience with Effexor tablets?

Currently on them myself, along with something else, and have been on them in the past.

I felt they didn't work great the first time but on reflection was more due to external stress effecting me more than I realised at the time. It seems to be working relatively well at the moment alongside a different tablet I'm on and I haven't really noticed any significant side effects due to the effexor. The other tablet I'm on has significantly increased my appetite so weight is becoming a bit of an issue with that, but I just need to control my eating.

Medication really is subjective though so experiences will vary person to person and the only way to know how well it may or may not work is trial and error, obviously under the instructions of a doctor.

username_x

token56 wrote: »

Currently on them myself, along with something else, and have been on them in the past.

I felt they didn't work great the first time but on reflection was more due to external stress effecting me more than I realised at the time. It seems to be working relatively well at the moment alongside a different tablet I'm on and I haven't really noticed any significant side effects due to the effexor. The other tablet I'm on has significantly increased my appetite so weight is becoming a bit of an issue with that, but I just need to control my eating.

Medication really is subjective though so experiences will vary person to person and the only way to know how well it may or may not work is trial and error, obviously under the instructions of a doctor.

Thanks for that! She changed me from lexapro to these tablets as the side effects were so bad but I'm finding the Effexor has the same side effects only worse. I will speak to her.

deenmohd

We should not laugh on depressed people because they have already lost hope. Your post is right but your title of the post is blue for depressed people. Helpguide has written in there website that we should never disgrace depressed people.
We should help them by providing support. see
http://www.helpguide.org/mental/depression_signs_types_diagnosis_treatment.htm
http://aboutmental.com/guide/depression/
http://psychcentral.com/disorders/depression/
This would help you if you have depression and do not want to do sucide. Hope is very thing, if you lost it you will never recover.

letssee7

Life is continually improving for me, feel confident with people for the first time since I was a kid. Slowly making small changes snowballs into something great when you stick to it

Still today I have had an underlying sadness due to memories of my ex (that Sweden game seemed to trigger it..). I can see that I'll probably forever have this depressive side of me, but the skills to manage it appear within grasp... Even on my low point today I have belief in a wonderful future.

Also on a separate note I would advise people read a book called mind made prison. It's all about proper self enquiry discovering your core beliefs and remodelling them to something healthier and happier. I found it as useful as my counselling, but again stick to the advice it gives and never rush.

glass_onion

I look at peoples post on this thread and I admire their honesty and support given by other members.


I used to post here as [removed]. I look back upon my posts now with shame.looking back some of them i was obviously was not thinking right. some of my views where angry,bigotry,politically incorrect and downright stupid.I do not agree with any of views on posts now and wish to issue a full and sincere apology on that.Being a typical man,i ignored my problems and did not have a care in the world.

Last year was a hard year on my life.i talked about ending it.Out of desperation of thinking i would do harm to myself. I walked into A+E and asked to see a psychiatrist. I sat there and was being asked what was going through my mind and what supports could be given to me.i been to counseling and on the right medication now.


Talking is good,not matter how hard it is.face your problems as running away from them will not sort them.there is always someone there willing to take your hand when you feel alone.

Call Me Jimmy

Just a note on the meet-up, it is highly unlikely I'll be there despite my intentions. I have become even more reclusive, many would have thought that impossible. I am outside my house maximum once a week.

I haven't been posting because not much has come to my mind. Fleeting optimism in the past where I have sought ways to cope and experience consciousness in all its glory has given way to just an absolute solid nothing. Physically, mentally I have the texture of a brick.

I think I just cannot cope, so I sit resigned almost all day every day in a 'room with a view' kind of way. I'm 26 like but feel about 70 or 80, my lifestyle reflects this. Very few things are blossoming in my mind these days, it seems purely obsession and worry. It's that feeling where you know there is a world of pain that cannot be accessed emotionally, but gives all the negative physical symptoms, tightness, tenseness, apprehension.

Reflecting on it now, I don't know how I stand it. It makes me wish for the worries of other people (equally valid worries) because at least they are living as well as worrying. The expression I find fits best is that I am 'waiting for death' at 26. But it is a very painful wait. Isolation was always a coping mechanism, and now it helps that I don't see first-hand the youthfulness and yes happiness of my peers (whether they recognise it as such or not).

It would be good to meet some of you, as there's a lot of understanding in your posts but it probably won't happen for me, realistically.

C14N

I'm here nearly 4000 posts late but that opening post was very interesting to read. I've often wondered if I have depression or not. If I do, it's not constant or anything, it comes and goes. As I understand it, it's a mental illness in the same way the flu is a bodily illness but it's easy to know if you have the flu. Is there any way to know you have depression?

delthedriver

C14N wrote: »

I'm here nearly 4000 posts late but that opening post was very interesting to read. I've often wondered if I have depression or not. If I do, it's not constant or anything, it comes and goes. As I understand it, it's a mental illness in the same way the flu is a bodily illness but it's easy to know if you have the flu. Is there any way to know you have depression?

A meeting with your GP. Bring along notes on sleeping and eating patterns.
General mood, hobbies interests, work pressures. By discussing the above topics with your doctor , your GP can probe and make a diagnosis. It is better to get a professional diagnosis than self diagnose . Whatever the outcome, you will always have supporters here to help you through .

Be kind to yourself.

Kindest Wishes,

Del

delthedriver

Call Me Jimmy wrote: »

Just a note on the meet-up, it is highly unlikely I'll be there despite my intentions. I have become even more reclusive, many would have thought that impossible. I am outside my house maximum once a week.

I haven't been posting because not much has come to my mind. Fleeting optimism in the past where I have sought ways to cope and experience consciousness in all its glory has given way to just an absolute solid nothing. Physically, mentally I have the texture of a brick.

I think I just cannot cope, so I sit resigned almost all day every day in a 'room with a view' kind of way. I'm 26 like but feel about 70 or 80, my lifestyle reflects this. Very few things are blossoming in my mind these days, it seems purely obsession and worry. It's that feeling where you know there is a world of pain that cannot be accessed emotionally, but gives all the negative physical symptoms, tightness, tenseness, apprehension.

Reflecting on it now, I don't know how I stand it. It makes me wish for the worries of other people (equally valid worries) because at least they are living as well as worrying. The expression I find fits best is that I am 'waiting for death' at 26. But it is a very painful wait. Isolation was always a coping mechanism, and now it helps that I don't see first-hand the youthfulness and yes happiness of my peers (whether they recognise it as such or not).

It would be good to meet some of you, as there's a lot of understanding in your posts but it probably won't happen for me, realistically.

Jimmy,

Just take it easy.
Was looking forward to meeting you. Don't feel under pressure to attend. If on the night you feel up to attending , just come along. I guess we are all a little bit nervous about stepping outside our comfort zones atm.
We all understand how difficult things can be at times. The main thing is to take very good care of yourself. Things will improve with time.
Just keep on posting! We all wish the very best for you.
Kindest wishes,
Del:)

Drumpot

Call Me Jimmy wrote: »

It would be good to meet some of you, as there's a lot of understanding in your posts but it probably won't happen for me, realistically.

One of the things I am learning to do is to keep my options open in as many scenarios as possible. I used to hate my friends calling me on Monday with plans for the next Saturday. I would spend the week dreading it and usually come Saturday, when I was actually out I would have good fun (or it wouldn't be as bad as I had been thinking). .


Over the last few months I have been learning new ways of living (I have been logging some of it in this thread) and dealing with my depression, I will give you an example that I hope might help you in this case. Over the last 2 weeks I have been to two weddings. For one reason or another I usually dread these events (very much so to do with not wanting to be around other people, particularly if I am feeling depressed). I would dread these events, mainly in fear that I wouldn't be in the form to socialise.

At these weddings I had a plan that gave me options on the day of the occasion. After the church I went off on my own for a coffee/walk. The meal is usually a couple of hours after the church so I spent that time relaxing in my own company. I arrived back for the meal and it was my intention to leave at a specified time after the meal if I didn't feel too good. In both occasions I stayed much longer then I had anticipated because I didn't feel pressure into making a night of it and I enjoyed myself more as a result. I also felt more in control of the night, I wasn't a slave to my depressive thoughts, but I was giving myself enough space to feel confident that I could deal with it.

If you feel NOW like you cant make the meeting, that's ok. That's how you feel right now, but if you can at least say to yourself "I will see how I feel on the night" it gives you the option to go if you feel up to it on the night. It also allows you to not think about the night itself and worry about how it might go because you aren't committing to anything. Its a small thing, but I used to dread things that I actually didn't have to do or go to. Now I just try to create "get out" clauses in the nights like the wedding whereby I take the pressure off myself.

Drumpot

Reiketsu wrote: »

Thanks for your reply .

I guess what upsets me is the fact I am being told by pretty much around me I am doing a terrible job but yet offer no kind of help. Isn't that part of social services job? I had a meeting with my ex on Thursday along with some members of our families and social workers and he point blank refused right in front of them to help. He has our daughter a grand total of two nights a month, if that. He accused me of stuff that social services themselves have saw to be total rubbish but yet things just keep getting worse, I just don't understand that at all. If they do indeed see something else then they should help instead of punish me and threaten to take my child away. It is hardly helping the situation.

Even my own family don't seem to understand it. I have tried talking to my own mother numerous times about how I feel I am struggling and she dismisses it, says I am lazy because I find it hard to be motivated, that I have nothing to be depressed about. I do everything I can to make sure my daughter is raised in a good environment regardless of how bad I feel at times. Its hard to be told you aren't doing as well as you imagined.

For years I assumed I was lazy and just a waste of space. I used to get the same sort of stuff:

• You will end up a bum if you don't knuckle down
• you are wasting your intelligence
• sure what have you got to be depressed about
• you are a hypochondriac
• Any other sort of demeaning comments that just make me feel even worse

When people or society don't understand something, they dismiss it. When I don't fit in with common consensus I notice how it actually upsets some people in work or friendly environment. In short, people don't like things that don't fit in to the way they understand the world.

For example - lets say I have loads of money, a wife, children, secure job and a lovely house. The common consensus among many people would be to assume that I have no reason whatsoever to be depressed. Many people wouldn't understand how a person with all this could be so unhappy/depressed but there are loads of different reasons why this could be the case.

I am learning to not let the ignorance and lack of education of people affect my mood. If I am feeling down, I don't beat myself up. If I feel sad for a reason (or for no clear identifiable reason), I try to just go with it.

I realise now that I simply wasn't given the support I needed when I was growing up. I am not blaming my family because they didn't know how to give me the support I needed. The most important thing for me is not to focus on what I wished I had (peace) and not to lament the fact that my life has been a disappointment (in the peace of mind department). I spend my time focusing on how to change my thought process/patterns to help me going forward.

If you are finding that you aren't getting the support from your family, perhaps you should consider getting the support (GP, Councellor, Therapist etc) from somebody who can take a more objective, non emotive perspective on your case.

A social workers main concern is the child and while they may have empathy for you (in some way), their priority is the child. Perhaps an impartial support for you can help you in your dealings with your current situation and give you the confidence to speak up for yourself.

murria

Call Me Jimmy wrote: »

Just a note on the meet-up, it is highly unlikely I'll be there despite my intentions. I have become even more reclusive, many would have thought that impossible. I am outside my house maximum once a week.

I haven't been posting because not much has come to my mind. Fleeting optimism in the past where I have sought ways to cope and experience consciousness in all its glory has given way to just an absolute solid nothing. Physically, mentally I have the texture of a brick.

I think I just cannot cope, so I sit resigned almost all day every day in a 'room with a view' kind of way. I'm 26 like but feel about 70 or 80, my lifestyle reflects this. Very few things are blossoming in my mind these days, it seems purely obsession and worry. It's that feeling where you know there is a world of pain that cannot be accessed emotionally, but gives all the negative physical symptoms, tightness, tenseness, apprehension.

Reflecting on it now, I don't know how I stand it. It makes me wish for the worries of other people (equally valid worries) because at least they are living as well as worrying. The expression I find fits best is that I am 'waiting for death' at 26. But it is a very painful wait. Isolation was always a coping mechanism, and now it helps that I don't see first-hand the youthfulness and yes happiness of my peers (whether they recognise it as such or not).

It would be good to meet some of you, as there's a lot of understanding in your posts but it probably won't happen for me, realistically.

Jimmy

You have been conspicuous by your absence, I (and I'm sure others) really have noticed your lack of postings on here. Sorry to hear you are so unhappy at the moment. Just in case you haven't seen it, please take a look at Hersheys' post in Long Term Illness, its very inspiring.

I'm sure everyone would love to see you on Friday, after all you have been a great support to a lot of people in the past, but if you can't face it don't make yourself ill worrying about it. You can come through this with what ever it takes; medication, therapy, support, love and understanding. You're not waiting to die, you are waiting to live and life is out there, you will find it eventually.

Take good care of yourself and please keep posting we miss you.

Murria xx

C14N

delthedriver wrote: »

A meeting with your GP. Bring along notes on sleeping and eating patterns.
General mood, hobbies interests, work pressures. By discussing the above topics with your doctor , your GP can probe and make a diagnosis. It is better to get a professional diagnosis than self diagnose . Whatever the outcome, you will always have supporters here to help you through .

The thing is though that something like going to a GP seems like making too much of a fuss over it, especially when it isn't a chronic problem (I tend to feel much worse some weeks than others). I can't imagine information on eating or sleeping patterns would do much either since I almost always eat healthily and get at least 6-7 hours of sleep per night (messing up my sleep pattern seriously bothers me). There's a real fear of embarassment too of going to a GP and saying "I think I might be depressed" being told "nope, you're actually fine".

I don't even think feel depressed right now. I feel a bit bad because I just moved away from home for the first time and haven't made any new friends yet, coupled with new pressures for study, but that all seems like stuff that will be solved in due course.

delthedriver

C14N wrote: »

The thing is though that something like going to a GP seems like making too much of a fuss over it, especially when it isn't a chronic problem (I tend to feel much worse some weeks than others). I can't imagine information on eating or sleeping patterns would do much either since I almost always eat healthily and get at least 6-7 hours of sleep per night (messing up my sleep pattern seriously bothers me). There's a real fear of embarassment too of going to a GP and saying "I think I might be depressed" being told "nope, you're actually fine".

I don't even think feel depressed right now. I feel a bit bad because I just moved away from home for the first time and haven't made any new friends yet, coupled with new pressures for study, but that all seems like stuff that will be solved in due course.

I am not speaking as a medic , however you may be suffering from depression of some sort, you mention you feel worse some weeks than others, coupled with some loneliness being away from home and pressures of study. If you are in doubt it is no embarrassment to anyone if you have a meeting with your GP and they confirm you are not suffering from depression. Remember 'If it is to be it is up to me'. It is your call to decide whether or not to consult your GP.:)

letssee7

C14N wrote: »

The thing is though that something like going to a GP seems like making too much of a fuss over it, especially when it isn't a chronic problem (I tend to feel much worse some weeks than others). I can't imagine information on eating or sleeping patterns would do much either since I almost always eat healthily and get at least 6-7 hours of sleep per night (messing up my sleep pattern seriously bothers me). There's a real fear of embarassment too of going to a GP and saying "I think I might be depressed" being told "nope, you're actually fine".

I don't even think feel depressed right now. I feel a bit bad because I just moved away from home for the first time and haven't made any new friends yet, coupled with new pressures for study, but that all seems like stuff that will be solved in due course.

Well suppose you are depressed but you don't check because you feel its 50/50. The result is you may slip into severe depression, I went down this path and I don't recommend anyone does.

Suppose you aren't depressed but you visit the doc anyway result is 5 minutes of awkwardness and a sense of relief.

It really makes sense to visit the doctor, there is too much to lose if you have any doubts.

Reiketsu

I am just back from seeing my GP. I also have IBS which flares up when my mood goes down and it has been giving me real problems so I brought that up as well. Obviously he came to the conclusion that in my case the IBS and depression are linked so he prescribed Mebeverine for that. He also prescribed 50mg Sertraline and eventually wants to increase it to 100mg. I used to be on Citalopram and found them to be awful so I'm a little apprehensive.

C14N - I was the same, because I had good periods I ignored the bad. As my GP said to me today; "Just because at times you feel okay, that doesn't mean you are okay". It might be worth going to have a wee chat . All the best.

C14N

letssee7 wrote: »

Well suppose you are depressed but you don't check because you feel its 50/50. The result is you may slip into severe depression, I went down this path and I don't recommend anyone does.

Suppose you aren't depressed but you visit the doc anyway result is 5 minutes of awkwardness and a sense of relief.

It really makes sense to visit the doctor, there is too much to lose if you have any doubts.

Well it is about €50 to see a GP too (not sure how much it is now that I'm in Canada) which I know sounds trivial compared to the problem but it isn't nothing.

Reiketsu wrote: »

I am just back from seeing my GP. I also have IBS which flares up when my mood goes down and it has been giving me real problems so I brought that up as well. Obviously he came to the conclusion that in my case the IBS and depression are linked so he prescribed Mebeverine for that. He also prescribed 50mg Sertraline and eventually wants to increase it to 100mg. I used to be on Citalopram and found them to be awful so I'm a little apprehensive.

C14N - I was the same, because I had good periods I ignored the bad. As my GP said to me today; "Just because at times you feel okay, that doesn't mean you are okay". It might be worth going to have a wee chat . All the best.

Thanks for the advice. Maybe I will visit but I would want to feel pretty bad first before I do go. It would seem a bit fruitless going in to get a check up when there's nothing wrong with me right now.

delthedriver

C14N wrote: »

Well it is about €50 to see a GP too (not sure how much it is now that I'm in Canada) which I know sounds trivial compared to the problem but it isn't nothing.



Thanks for the advice. Maybe I will visit but I would want to feel pretty bad first before I do go. It would seem a bit fruitless going in to get a check up when there's nothing wrong with me right now.

€50 is a small amount to invest in your health and welfare. If you are studying in University, perhaps there is an in house Medical professional you could chat with? Whilst everything may be well with you now, you have expressed concerns over your health. Be kind to yourself and get whatever assistance now rather than later.
You are obviously a very intelligent person studying abroad in Canada. I guess you also have a very bright future ahead of you. Don't let some niggling concern regarding a health issue hold you back. Get it sorted now and get on with the rest of your life. If your health professional confirms you are not suffering from Depression, at least that concern will be dealt with.:)

letssee7

C14N wrote: »

Well it is about €50 to see a GP too (not sure how much it is now that I'm in Canada) which I know sounds trivial compared to the problem but it isn't nothing.



Thanks for the advice. Maybe I will visit but I would want to feel pretty bad first before I do go. It would seem a bit fruitless going in to get a check up when there's nothing wrong with me right now.

When I was in college the thought that I might have been depressed and anxious vaguely crossed my mind, of course I had all the excuses in my mind not to get checked. 6 months later I hit rock bottom and walked to a doctor with tears steaming down my face as I had just started in the big bad world. Not only was I depressed I was severely depressed and had been for a decade. I had been so sure it was just my personality...

You owe it to yourself to recognise when its just an excuse to avoid something difficult. 50 quid is nothing, if you must borrow it tell your family you have a rash. If you broke your leg you wouldn't think twice about paying money, your mental state is every but as important.

10 months after my ultimate low I have finished counselling and am on top of the world for the first time since I was a
child. You shouldn't just feel ok, you should feel great more often than not!

Drumpot

C14N wrote: »

Well it is about €50 to see a GP too (not sure how much it is now that I'm in Canada) which I know sounds trivial compared to the problem but it isn't nothing..

I have had this discussion with people on here before and I know this may sound harsh, but you have to ask yourself what exactly are you willing to do , what are you willing to sacrifice (night out - get a loan that you will have to pay back) to try to get well?

I remember going into my GP (I have a medical card which is means tested, this gives you an idea that I am certainly not rich!) and them recommending I get therapy, but I said that I didn't have the money to afford it. It was true to an extent (I have very little disposable income), but only after time, after trying out alternative methods (medication, welfare supports like therapy etc) I realised that I needed to commit to my well being. This meant removing ALL things blocking me from getting well which included me stopping making excuses:

• Money - Don't have much, but I prioritised therapy/rehabilitation over anything non essential including ahead of loans and social stuff.
• Destined to failure - I used to assume something wouldn't work before even trying and in some cases I think certain things didn't work because I didn't really give them a chance. Now I give something a decent shot before ruling it out.
• Trusting somebody else with my wellbeing - This was a huge thing. It requires faith and an ability to pass off your problems to somebody else which is not easy to somebody who is used to trying to resolve their problems on their own. For me, this was liberating. It also somewhat addressed my loneliness issues.
• Family/friends - Some of them haven't completely agreed with certain aspects of my rehabilitation (I was diagnosed with something that they don't all agree on), but that's ok. That's for them to reconcile, I am trusting in the professionals to help guide me. Family and friends can mean well, but in many cases they are not in a position to give you the advice/guidance you need.

I'm sure there's other stuff, but I reckon you get the message. When I was given hope that there was a chance I could feel better, that I could actually enjoy parts of the day (or for entire days!), that I could live my life in a manner that I thought only rich people could, I was prepared to do/pay whatever it took to achieve it.

I am by no means the finished article and sometimes I lapse into my old way of thinking (just happened between last Thursday and yesterday!). While its horrible to be back in that place, its a great reminder of how lucky I really have been. But I afford myself some credit because I allowed myself to find this peace by opening up to the concept that my way of thinking (while depressed) was one of the biggest things holding me back.

I have a (pregnant) wife and 2 children and I would sooner miss one months mortgage repayments if I had to spend it on therapy that would help me get well. I know that if I don't deal with my mental health, that it could cause a lifetime of pain on my family. Likewise I know I would have an extremely poor quality of life. Missing a mortgage repayment means I don't pay my mortgage for one month (would actually fund most of my therapy for a year!). In my view missing my therapy could potentially cost me my life and/or destroy my family.

For people younger then me and without a family, if you think depression or mental health improves because you find a loving partner and/or achieve certain dreams (job - children whatever), then you can think again. If you rely on people, places or things to make you happy, you may find that you will never be properly happy in life.

I get so much more satisfaction out of my marriage, family, friends, job and just life in general. I am financially less off then I was this time last year, but that doesn't hold the sway over me that it used to. Finding peace in myself and learning to fit into my skin has been the most liberating and satisfying thing that has ever happened to me.

Reiketsu

On my second day of Sertraline and I'm feeling pretty rough right now. Side effects on the whole aren't as bad as they were with Citalopram but still not great. I'm restless and can't concentrate on anything. As well as that, my mood has went down. I feel like I have a long road in front of me. I wish I could keep myself occupied

delthedriver

Reiketsu wrote: »

On my second day of Sertraline and I'm feeling pretty rough right now. Side effects on the whole aren't as bad as they were with Citalopram but still not great. I'm restless and can't concentrate on anything. As well as that, my mood has went down. I feel like I have a long road in front of me. I wish I could keep myself occupied

It will take a few weeks for the meds to really kick in and for you to feel the real benefits. Try and take some exercise whether walking , jogging etc. it will help lift your mood and also help you get some very necessary sleep.
Most importantly, take good care of yourself,because you are worth it!:)

Reiketsu

delthedriver wrote: »

It will take a few weeks for the meds to really kick in and for you to feel the real benefits. Try and take some exercise whether walking , jogging etc. it will help lift your mood and also help you get some very necessary sleep.
Most importantly, take good care of yourself,because you are worth it!:)

Thanks Del . I had a nice 45 minute walk today, might start taking one in the evenings too, see if it helps. I also have zero appetite and haven't eaten much today which won't be helping I guess. I think tomorrow evening I'll have a nice long bath, followed by a film and tea. Actually even thinking about it feels great

delthedriver

delthedriver wrote: »

Hi All,

Just a reminder!

Coffee and Chat @8.30pm Friday 13th September,

Venue Main Bar , Red Cow , Naas Road, Dublin.:)

Good Morning,

Looking forward to meeting up this pm.

For ease of identification, I will be wearing a beige jacket and drinking tea.

See you later,

Regards,

Del

murria

delthedriver wrote: »

Good Morning,

Looking forward to meeting up this pm.

For ease of identification, I will be wearing a beige jacket and drinking tea.

See you later,

Regards,

Del

Haha Del, was just coming on to ask would you be wearing a pink carnation and carrying a copy of the Irish Times. Beige jacket it is then.

Look forward to meeting up too.

Cheers

Murria

Mam of 4

To every meeting up tonight, enjoy, it should be a really positive experience.

DeVore

Looking forward to seeing everyone tonight!

I'll be wearing a pink tootoo and a feather boa.

Or I might go for jeans and a black shirt

username_x

Hi everyone,

Has not been a great week. Barely left the house and if I hear "get up and get out, you'll feel great!!" one more time ill scream!!! I've found the anxiety to be getting worse, to the point where I'm a nervous wreck anytime I leave the house, particularly when it's dark out. Something that never bothered me before.

Also arguing with my best friend this evening and having some nasty things thrown back in my face was not ideal. Had a good cry for a couple of hours about it, I just don't understand how people can be so cruel. I'm not one to look for pity but when somebody knows exactly what you're going through then basically tells you all the negative things you've been thinking about yourself are in fact true, it's very easy to question all the times you've convinced yourself you're not a bad person.

I had a really bad day on Monday. I genuinely thought I was going to end it all there and then. I really felt as though I couldn't go on. And I felt as though I was the only person in the world going through this. I somehow managed to pick myself up off the floor and get to bed, but I did cry for hours.

I just don't know how to handle this. People keep telling me that brighter days are coming, but I don't see them. And now I feel as if the one person I could depend on thinks so little of me that she wants me out of her life. Maybe I deserve it, but it was just so cruel the way everything was said.

I'm really hoping tomorrow will be better. Sorry for rambling.

delthedriver

username_x wrote: »

Hi everyone,

Has not been a great week. Barely left the house and if I hear "get up and get out, you'll feel great!!" one more time ill scream!!! I've found the anxiety to be getting worse, to the point where I'm a nervous wreck anytime I leave the house, particularly when it's dark out. Something that never bothered me before.

Also arguing with my best friend this evening and having some nasty things thrown back in my face was not ideal. Had a good cry for a couple of hours about it, I just don't understand how people can be so cruel. I'm not one to look for pity but when somebody knows exactly what you're going through then basically tells you all the negative things you've been thinking about yourself are in fact true, it's very easy to question all the times you've convinced yourself you're not a bad person.

I had a really bad day on Monday. I genuinely thought I was going to end it all there and then. I really felt as though I couldn't go on. And I felt as though I was the only person in the world going through this. I somehow managed to pick myself up off the floor and get to bed, but I did cry for hours.

I just don't know how to handle this. People keep telling me that brighter days are coming, but I don't see them. And now I feel as if the one person I could depend on thinks so little of me that she wants me out of her life. Maybe I deserve it, but it was just so cruel the way everything was said.

I'm really hoping tomorrow will be better. Sorry for rambling.

Please try and get some rest.
Be kind to yourself, you are very important.
Sometimes people say things in the heat of the moment which on reflection they regret.
Tomorrow will be a better day:)