LETS ALL LAUGH AT PEOPLE WITH DEPRESSION!!

username_x

username_x wrote: »

Also arguing with my best friend this evening and having some nasty things thrown back in my face was not ideal

Is it ever? Could we be presumptuous as to ask about what was said? And can I ask how someone so aggressive gets to be the "best friend" of someone like you? There is clearly a lot of history and feeling there we know nothing about.

username_x

username_x wrote: »

Thankfully this thread has made me realise that I'm not the only one and I applaud you all for sharing your stories and helping the scared ones like me. Thank you.

Now its your turn to stick around and help the next lot Your story is going to be the next "thank you".

Drumpot

username_x wrote: »

I just don't know how to handle this. People keep telling me that brighter days are coming, but I don't see them. And now I feel as if the one person I could depend on thinks so little of me that she wants me out of her life. Maybe I deserve it, but it was just so cruel the way everything was said.

I'm really hoping tomorrow will be better. Sorry for rambling.

Possibly the most important part of your thread if you are to get well. You have highlighted something that you may or may not of realised. You are acknowledging that you are unable to handle this on your own. You are also acknowledging that for one reason or another a person close to you "wants you out of her life". Perhaps she is also unable to handle how you feel?!

In my life, I relied on my friends and my wife to help guide me to happiness. They helped as much a they could but in hindsight they no more had the tools to help me get well then I did. They comforted me, but they could not "fix" my problem.

Tomorrow can be better, but your friends/family may not be able to help you get to a balanced place to lead a happy life. If everything you have tried to date has failed, then perhaps trying out things you haven't considered (or didn't want to consider) should be something you should look into. You might find that your thinking (depressive thoughts, defeatist mindset, feeling lonely, feeling helpless, feeling useless etc) is preventing you from seeing gaps in the clouds with which to find your way to the sun. I am speaking from my own experience so it might not all match up with how you feel but I really thought a lot of things that just weren't the case.

I include the fact that I thought people I cared for didn't want to be around me, when in fact they just didn't know how to react or deal with me being so down!!!

I cant speak for you, but in my case I had to stop thinking about what others thought, or worse still assuming that what I thought they were thinking about me was the fact. Nobody knows what another person is thinking but even if they do it shouldn't matter. If you are unwell, the most important thing you can do is focus on your own well being. Everything else, including relationships with those around you, will benefit as a result.

First port of call would be your GP, if its a family GP and your not comfortable ask around and see if you can get a recommended one. alternatively you could do the same thing but see if you can find a councillor or therapist to help get you started. In all professions you can get good ones and bad ones, don't let one bad experience put you off. Keep focusing on getting well, because you can get better (read some of my earlier posts in this thread to see where I was emotionally a year ago). I never imagined I could have the life I have today and I can honestly say that I believe everybody can find peace.

Edit: You should consider trying AWARE for assistance. There are group meetings for people with depression which I tried. I wasn't excited about going to the group meeting only went to one. However through that meeting I was introduced to the concept of CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy). I didn't go to another Aware meeting again because I opted to try out CBT (but had I not gone to the original Aware session I would not of found CBT!). Sometimes the answer can be in a place where you don't expect it and it can find you, but I see now that I had to be actively looking for a solution (instead of just thinking about it).

Thinking about something is not doing something about it . . You have stated that you cant handle the way you are feeling. For me , coming to this forum was a cry for help and was a huge step in my rehabilitation. I had been waiting for something to happen, to make my life just get better, but was really only thinking about how ****ty I felt, without actually doing anything different to help improve my situation. Do not underestimate the decision you made to come to this forum. You are sharing your pain with strangers whom you know can empathise (if not fully understand) how you feel. Why not take the next step and find a professional therapist/councellor (even a GP to refer) to help guide you further?

Drumpot

DeVore wrote: »

Looking forward to seeing everyone tonight!

I'll be wearing a pink tootoo and a feather boa.

Or I might go for jeans and a black shirt

How did it go ?

murria

Drumpot wrote: »

How did it go ?

It went really well Drumpot. Well actually it got off to a rocky start for me, as I arrived at the bar in the Red Cow Inn, as opposed to the Red Cow Hotel!! After thinking I was the only one there, I relocated and found the man in the beige jacket and the guy in the pink tutu and feather boa.

So we spent a nice few hours, having a chat about all sorts of happy, sad, ridiculous stuff and checking out each others doggy pics.

Big kudos to delthedriver for coming all the way from Kerry. Look forward to doing it again in the future and hopefully meeting a few more of you.

DeVore

I had a blast, I really enjoyed that and we have to do that again, and soon!!

username_x

Thank you so much for all your replies guys, woke up today realising that I was 100% in the right, as I said or done nothing, the only thing I got remotely aggressive about was when she started to call me names.

I'm not sure how to quote a post on my phone so please forgive me if I've left anything out.

Del - you are right. I woke up with a much clearer head after alot of thinking and realised this person has done nothing but help me on my way down.

Tax - it was completely aggressive, which agitates me, because it was all said in Dutch Courage, because she owed me money which she had she'd have today and I asked her to let me know when she'd be home today so I could collect it. Then all of a sudden I'm a selfish this that and the other, and I use her and then the name calling started and the idle threats. The last few months have been completely crazy for me with stuff that's happened and she's always been there for me, or so I thought, but not without telling her other friends first!! I was so unwilling to speak up because I was afraid if I lost her I'd lose a good friend, but now I'm just willing to put my two fingers in the air at her. My situation isn't something to broadcast to anyone, if it was I'd put it as my Facebook status end of.

Drumpot - as much as I would like to believe that she doesn't know how to react etc., she's gone through the same thing, and made me believe she was totally empathetic and understood. Now this. She has been going through a rough time the last few weeks and I have been there for her as much as she has allowed. I do though, completely understand what you are saying so please don't think I am arguing with you. As for the GP I've been there, I've tried counselling however I have not tried CBT, and all I've read are good reports. I'm definitely going to give that a try. May be expensive but if its a case of cutting back on other things to get myself well then I will.

delthedriver

Drumpot wrote: »

How did it go ?

Great night in the company of truly wonderful people. Looking forward to meeting many more of my Boardsie friends next time:)

delthedriver

username_x wrote: »

Thank you so much for all your replies guys, woke up today realising that I was 100% in the right, as I said or done nothing, the only thing I got remotely aggressive about was when she started to call me names.

I'm not sure how to quote a post on my phone so please forgive me if I've left anything out.

Del - you are right. I woke up with a much clearer head after alot of thinking and realised this person has done nothing but help me on my way down.

Tax - it was completely aggressive, which agitates me, because it was all said in Dutch Courage, because she owed me money which she had she'd have today and I asked her to let me know when she'd be home today so I could collect it. Then all of a sudden I'm a selfish this that and the other, and I use her and then the name calling started and the idle threats. The last few months have been completely crazy for me with stuff that's happened and she's always been there for me, or so I thought, but not without telling her other friends first!! I was so unwilling to speak up because I was afraid if I lost her I'd lose a good friend, but now I'm just willing to put my two fingers in the air at her. My situation isn't something to broadcast to anyone, if it was I'd put it as my Facebook status end of.

Drumpot - as much as I would like to believe that she doesn't know how to react etc., she's gone through the same thing, and made me believe she was totally empathetic and understood. Now this. She has been going through a rough time the last few weeks and I have been there for her as much as she has allowed. I do though, completely understand what you are saying so please don't think I am arguing with you. As for the GP I've been there, I've tried counselling however I have not tried CBT, and all I've read are good reports. I'm definitely going to give that a try. May be expensive but if its a case of cutting back on other things to get myself well then I will.

Today is a new and very beautiful day. It is the start of a new beginning for you. You must learn to put yourself first and not become distracted by harsh word or anger vented by someone else. You are the most important thing in your life, your physical and emotional health are of paramount importance. Whatever it takes spend your money wisely on getting your health back . Your health is your wealth. Yes it is all about you ,because you are worth it! Learn to live in The Now and take one day at a time.:)

efb

Guys hope ye has a good meet up. I was in hospital this week (not for depression) so v out of the loop.

delthedriver

efb wrote: »

Guys hope ye has a good meet up. I was in hospital this week (not for depression) so v out of the loop.

Yes , thank you.

Great night, wonderful people

Sorry to hear you were in hospital this week, hope all is ok with you.
Perhaps we will get to meet you next time.

Best wishes,

Del

delthedriver

Hope everyone had a good day today

Summer returned in my part of the country, temperatures even touched 21C

It was wonderful to eat outdoors again.

Met friends for breakfast this am, then took doggy for a long walk on the beach.

Finished off the evening by attending a Football match, played in the most fantastic evening sunshine.

Enjoy life!

Reiketsu

Having a bad day. I got out of bed and just lay on the sofa instead. Its only in the past half hour that I feel a bit more alive. I'm a complete zombie, tired but can't sleep either. This has felt the longest day in quite a while.

delthedriver

Reiketsu wrote: »

Having a bad day. I got out of bed and just lay on the sofa instead. Its only in the past half hour that I feel a bit more alive. I'm a complete zombie, tired but can't sleep either. This has felt the longest day in quite a while.

Don't worry soldier! It goes with the territory. This phase may last a day or two, but it will pass. Just take it easy and look after yourself.

Try and get some sleep tonight. Perhaps a nice warm bath before bedtime would help you relax and you mat well sleep better too.:)

Reiketsu

delthedriver wrote: »

Don't worry soldier! It goes with the territory. This phase may last a day or two, but it will pass. Just take it easy and look after yourself.

Try and get some sleep tonight. Perhaps a nice warm bath before bedtime would help you relax and you mat well sleep better too.:)

I ended up treating myself to some ice cream and watching a few comedy tv shows . Feeling a wee bit better, hoping to get more than 3 hours sleep tonight!

delthedriver

Reiketsu wrote: »

I ended up treating myself to some ice cream and watching a few comedy tv shows . Feeling a wee bit better, hoping to get more than 3 hours sleep tonight!

Well done! Now that is what I mean by being kind to yourself!

Hope you got amore than 3 hours sleep last night.

Keep up the good work

Best wishes

Del:)

delthedriver

Good Morning All,

Atlantic Storm raging outside my window.! Where has the wonderful weather gone again.

Having a duvet day!

Had a busy week so catching up on some zzzzzzs!

Looking forward to a walk on the beach later when the storm calms down.

Have a great day.:)

grizzly

No suicides in South Kerry for six months after Donal's TV plea

Makes me sad that having no suicides could be attributed to this this. I know his parents want his death mean something, but I'd feel more alienated by the lack of understanding this contains and more likely to suicide not less.

InReality

grizzly wrote: »

No suicides in South Kerry for six months after Donal's TV plea

Makes me sad that having no suicides could be attributed to this this. I know his parents want his death mean something, but I'd feel more alienated by the lack of understanding this contains and more likely to suicide not less.

I was annoyed and surprised to read this as well.
Someone dealing/commenting in the media on suicide should be careful to be evidence based in what they say.

DeVore

There is a conference on in 10 days time about Technology in Wellbeing.
http://ie.reachout.com/about/technology-for-well-being-conference/

I'm speaking at the opening evening of it and will certainly be referencing this thread.
I'll also be on The Last Word to promote it, probably this Wednesday.


I'm actually not crazy about the idea of becoming some kind of "poster child" for depression/recovery tbh, I'm feeling a bit like "ok, I spoke up on Board but thats Boards, thats home, this is kinda somehow getting very 'real'"... my folks, friends, business partners will hear this too.
I'm steeling myself up to go through with it and there is no doubt I will but it just goes to show that we still have work to do on the whole stigma side of things. Or maybe I just have

The last 6 months have been pretty good, though a dip a couple of weeks ago kinda came out of nowhere...
Wishing all of you smoother days ahead. They are coming, it cant rain all the time.

Call Me Jimmy

You came to the right place my friend. Although never the exact same, I can definitely relate. Acknowledging it as a voice in your head is one step better than some people who are barely aware that it's another entity, often outside one's control (naturally) that is doing the talking.

I haven't been disciplined myself with it recently, but I cannot recommend yoga and mindfulness meditation enough because when we get sick mentally the one thing our body is crying out for is attention. The mind is constantly getting satisfied but the body which nourishes it is completely ignored. What the body needs in my opinion is intimacy, one guy on youtube used the phrase, 'be intimate with yourself'. Not necessarily in any sort of sexual way, but intimacy is possibly on your own. Reconnecting with the calmness that sits undisturbed inside you, no matter what other stresses there are helps me. But any time I think the words, be intimate with yourself it just has a good effect on me. Slow down.

I don't like posting advice, but the above is the only type of thing I'd say, out of pure empathy, try to reconnect with your breath and your body whenever you can.

DISCLAIMER: I am NOT a hippy I swear :pac:

MikeD22

Hello all, never posted here before but have been reading for a long time.

I've been suffering from depression since my teens and have a good grip on it now with the help of counselling. I've now developed anxiety. I start college in the morning and its kicking in big time.

I don't really know how to handle it and was hoping by writing here I can start getting a handle on it.

glad to have a thread like this to talk to people who have experienced the same.

roseybear

MikeD22 wrote: »

Hello all, never posted here before but have been reading for a long time.

I've been suffering from depression since my teens and have a good grip on it now with the help of counselling. I've now developed anxiety. I start college in the morning and its kicking in big time.

I don't really know how to handle it and was hoping by writing here I can start getting a handle on it.

glad to have a thread like this to talk to people who have experienced the same.

You are going to have anxiety no matter what your mental health status is! This is a big change. Just go in tomorrow and take it all in. How is the anxiety affecting you? If you find its overwhelming then maybe have a chat with a family member or friend about it and what you think is the specific route.. for example, what is it about starting college that has you anxious? The assignments? Meeting new people? Have a chat about it with someone and they may even have similar experiences! Enjoy your day, I graduated this yr and would love to go back to yr 1 again.

grizzly

MikeD22 wrote: »

Hello all, never posted here before but have been reading for a long time.

I've been suffering from depression since my teens and have a good grip on it now with the help of counselling. I've now developed anxiety. I start college in the morning and its kicking in big time.

I don't really know how to handle it and was hoping by writing here I can start getting a handle on it.

glad to have a thread like this to talk to people who have experienced the same.

Here is a helpful article on anxiety and some ways to help tackle it;

www.theguardian.com/society/2013/sep/15/anxiety-epidemic-gripping-britain

murria

grizzly wrote: »

Here is a helpful article on anxiety and some ways to help tackle it;

www.theguardian.com/society/2013/sep/15/anxiety-epidemic-gripping-britain

Thanks Grizzly, really good article. Most of us can identify with the personal stories. Its very useful to know that anxiety is eminently treatable/manageable, it might take a bit of juggling to find the right techniques and tools but its well worth it because this condition can paralyze you and limit your ability to have a decent quality of life.

Chrisita

This thread has really touched my heart, the first post is so amazing,so enlightening and so true. It put so many of my feelings and thoughts into words. Well done Devore, you spoke for all of us. It took days for me to be able to post at all. There are so many beautiful people on this thread, you all sound so nice. I am not great with long posts but will give a few clues ( I hope) as I have spent 20 years+ investigating the causes of my long term depression , anxiety and unrelenting fatigue. I have had almost every bodily substance analyzed and the following are the outcomes. I had poor blood sugar control which caused wild mood and energy swings and exacerbated everything else that was amiss. I also have histadelia (high or low histamine cause depression etc), pyroluria (zinc and B6 deficiency) and copper overload which is apparently rampant in Ireland. Anyway, these are worth researching and hope that you will get as much relief as I did.

efb

So on edge today without any real reason why!

Drumpot

efb wrote: »

So on edge today without any real reason why!

I try to focus less on why I feel like I do and put my attentions to how I can help myself feel better (rest, talk, walk etc).

I woke up feeling down, depressed and just generally off not wanting to get out of bed. No particular reason that I can put my finger on.

I work for myself so in one regards I can be flexible (I stayed in bed until 12) but in others it puts me under pressure because if I don't work I literally don't get paid/income.

After having lunch/coffee with my wife in which I simply told her I felt down and discussed a few work things, I just started to feel a bit better afterwards. Not sure why but I think its because

a) I shared my depressed feeling with my wife by simply telling her I felt down (she knows that I cant always say why I feel like this, but its comforting to be able to say "I feel down and I don't know why") and know that she is there for me without judging .

b)I wasn't beating myself up in my head (while in bed for the morning) and just treated it like I was sick and needed a rest to get well

I can have moments of ecstasy and moments of pure depression that I cant always explain. Sometimes there is no real rational explanation for my moods but I now know that its more important for me to just "ride the wave" of depression/excitement and worry/focus much less about why I am feeling this way.

candycock

hi,just dropping a line to say,i hope everyone is keeping well,i've been a spectator watching the posts for the last few months,but some of the posts offer hope and help,thanks to everyone.

letssee7

As time passes I'm starting to view the subconscious mind as a wild animal that the conscious mind can attempt to tame. I guess we are animals so it makes sense, but it confuses me further as to where consciousness comes from..

For the past week I've woken up feeling depressed 5 times but by night had managed to turn my frame of mind around, by consciously challenging my natural thoughts logically and using free time to move my life towards what I want.

And to think 2 years ago I didn't even believe in a subconscious!