LETS ALL LAUGH AT PEOPLE WITH DEPRESSION!!

Mam of 4

delthedriver wrote: »

Hi Folks,

Hope you are all enjoying this fabulous Autumnal weather.

Please if you have been stuck indoors for a few days, get out into the sunshine and enjoy nature's palette in all its glory.

Get down to your local park and check out the various colours., gold, yellow ochre, orange ,red etc. Look at the berries on the trees and watch the birds feeding on the bounty

Why not distract yourself , walk around and listen to the leaves crunch beneath your feet.

Buy a little box of paints or crayons available for a few euro and replicate the colours on a sheet of paper. It is amazing by getting closer to nature how quickly one can forget all problems .

Watch the swallows gathering on the phone lines as they regroup before heading their long journey south for the winter.

I was out walking on the beach this morning with doggy, and noticed the wonderful seaweed in various colours on the strand. When I looked around I noticed how the the mountain colours have changed from green to purple as the heathers flourish after our long hot summer. The sea air was fantastic and I filled my lungs with that wonderful salty air.

I am sure many of you think by now that Del has finally cracked....no I was reminded that many of the best things in life are free, on my long walk with doggy we ran along the beach, and met other people on the beach too. We exchanged greetings and brief chats ensued regarding the scenery and the seaweed. No negative thoughts of any description were exchanged.

On arrival home it was time for coffee. It too tasted great with a couple of biscuits!!!!

Folks, it is a tough battle for us all every day, however we need to be really kind to ourselves, enjoy the simple pleasures and enjoy life. Life is for living! Get out and start living again, please:)

Del,
I doubt I'm the only one who thinks this- but you truly are an inspiration to everyone, and your positive words of encouragement are a great help. Well, I think so anyway:). I read every post in here, don't contribute too much, but my 19yr old son suffers with depression and panis attacks. BUT, he has a fantastic therapist , is making progress, back into education just this wk after being out for 2yr. Baby steps, slow and steady he will get there, as will everyone here.

I just really wanted to say thank you, tbh, all the posts are of a great comfort and help to me also.

Wishing everyone continued progress, no matter how small it seems, its still progress ..

murria

Mam of 4 wrote: »

Del,
I doubt I'm the only one who thinks this- but you truly are an inspiration to everyone, and your positive words of encouragement are a great help. Well, I think so anyway:). I read every post in here, don't contribute too much, but my 19yr old son suffers with depression and panis attacks. BUT, he has a fantastic therapist , is making progress, back into education just this wk after being out for 2yr. Baby steps, slow and steady he will get there, as will everyone here.

I just really wanted to say thank you, tbh, all the posts are of a great comfort and help to me also.

Wishing everyone continued progress, no matter how small it seems, its still progress ..

+1 on your Del comment.

I'm so glad for you that your son is making progress, it so difficult to see your child suffer. When depression and anxiety first hit it's very hard to see any hope, but little by little things can and do get better. It's fantastic that we have this thread and I am so grateful to the wonderful people who share their stories and give us hope for the future.

Mam of 4

murria wrote: »

+1 on your Del comment.

I'm so glad for you that your son is making progress, it so difficult to see your child suffer. When depression and anxiety first hit it's very hard to see any hope, but little by little things can and do get better. It's fantastic that we have this thread and I am so grateful to the wonderful people who share their stories and give us hope for the future.

Thanks Murria. Sometimes I find it very hard to put into words what I want to say, but you've said it clearly .
This thread is great, and it helps me get through the bad days also when I feel down. Sometimes I think ppl are inclined to believe they're the only one fighting this battle so this is a real confirmation to let us know we're not alone and there is brightness and hope ahead.

Hope that makes sense..

Call Me Jimmy

I have managed to have, what 2 or 3 days in the same (relatively) positive mindset. My body feels good.
It was strange because I spent some time just correcting my alignment and spine and that has made a difference of well-being that most people probably have most of the time.

Then I was watching more videos from sadhguru (linked in post above) and he mentioned how the spine is root, makes sense as it is the carrier for our whole nervous system. He said to have an erect spine as much as possible will have very notable benefits. It was funny because I saw this after I had corrected alignment! I think I am addicted to his videos because I know he is speaking the truth, I could not recommend him more.

There is always the worry about attractiveness (or lack thereof) but I feel like a window in me has been opened and all that bad air is clearing and I can at least work my problems. Because it is such a new thing, I am sure you all know, when you feel good you become extremely wary of it going away, and that is the worst feeling I can say I have at the moment. This is a good thing for me.

For others, listen to your body extremely closely, every part of the surface of your skin that is tight or knotted is something you are shying away from. Notice everything about your body and you can become more comfortable.

All the best.

delthedriver

Call Me Jimmy wrote: »

I have managed to have, what 2 or 3 days in the same (relatively) positive mindset. My body feels good.
It was strange because I spent some time just correcting my alignment and spine and that has made a difference of well-being that most people probably have most of the time.

Then I was watching more videos from sadhguru (linked in post above) and he mentioned how the spine is root, makes sense as it is the carrier for our whole nervous system. He said to have an erect spine as much as possible will have very notable benefits. It was funny because I saw this after I had corrected alignment! I think I am addicted to his videos because I know he is speaking the truth, I could not recommend him more.

There is always the worry about attractiveness (or lack thereof) but I feel like a window in me has been opened and all that bad air is clearing and I can at least work my problems. Because it is such a new thing, I am sure you all know, when you feel good you become extremely wary of it going away, and that is the worst feeling I can say I have at the moment. This is a good thing for me.

For others, listen to your body extremely closely, every part of the surface of your skin that is tight or knotted is something you are shying away from. Notice everything about your body and you can become more comfortable.

All the best.

Jimmy,
Thank you for your latest Post. Delighted to see positives there.. Your advice about listening to the body is very sound , indeed something I often forget to do. We really should treat the body with greater care than we would treat a favourite ornament or crystal vase.
Have a great weekend:)

murria

Call Me Jimmy wrote: »

I have managed to have, what 2 or 3 days in the same (relatively) positive mindset. My body feels good.
It was strange because I spent some time just correcting my alignment and spine and that has made a difference of well-being that most people probably have most of the time.

Then I was watching more videos from sadhguru (linked in post above) and he mentioned how the spine is root, makes sense as it is the carrier for our whole nervous system. He said to have an erect spine as much as possible will have very notable benefits. It was funny because I saw this after I had corrected alignment! I think I am addicted to his videos because I know he is speaking the truth, I could not recommend him more.

There is always the worry about attractiveness (or lack thereof) but I feel like a window in me has been opened and all that bad air is clearing and I can at least work my problems. Because it is such a new thing, I am sure you all know, when you feel good you become extremely wary of it going away, and that is the worst feeling I can say I have at the moment. This is a good thing for me.

For others, listen to your body extremely closely, every part of the surface of your skin that is tight or knotted is something you are shying away from. Notice everything about your body and you can become more comfortable.

All the best.

Great advice Jimmy, the mind has a huge impact on the body. I know this because I managed to immobilise my shoulder through stress and anxiety a few years back. I'm going to check out those videos over the weekend, I love stuff like that.

I've been reading up a bit on BDD since your post the other day, it certainly is a tough nut to crack, however, I have read a couple of very encouraging stories, both involving CBT. Hopefully with the work you are currently doing on yourself you will get to a place where you feel ready to "take on" this beast and show it the door.

I'm so glad that you have enjoyed some good days this week, there is no reason why it can't continue. Allow yourself to feel good for no particular reason, because as Del (and Cheryl Cole) always tells us all, you're worth it.

Call Me Jimmy

I just wanted to also mention a thought that I've had for a while. When the mental processes are problematic it can be too big a goal to try and stop them directly. I cannot stop myself staring into a mirror for hours, looking at myself until I go cross-eyed and it all stops making sense. I would like to but most days I can't go outside for jog.But what I can definitely do is increase my physical comfort as I sit here.

The end result we are all looking for as humans is bliss, which comes at the end of the comfort axis. Every cell in my body can work in harmony all I have to do is acknowledge them all. I didn't shy away from a chill down my back yesterday and it turned to glorious warmth.

So no matter what my situation I will increase comfort, then when I think I can't get any more comfortable I'll increase it again. I can get a quarter way up the bliss scale just from holding something that is uncomfortable for longer than I would normally.

I don't mean to preach at all, and I apologise to anyone who it may bore or sound like I know better but one person could read and suddenly let go of their chest and let it plummet into their stomach and feel something that stirs them. As I have discovered, the line can be fine.

delthedriver

Call Me Jimmy wrote: »

I just wanted to also mention a thought that I've had for a while. When the mental processes are problematic it can be too big a goal to try and stop them directly. I cannot stop myself staring into a mirror for hours, looking at myself until I go cross-eyed and it all stops making sense. I would like to but most days I can't go outside for jog.But what I can definitely do is increase my physical comfort as I sit here.

The end result we are all looking for as humans is bliss, which comes at the end of the comfort axis. Every cell in my body can work in harmony all I have to do is acknowledge them all. I didn't shy away from a chill down my back yesterday and it turned to glorious warmth.

So no matter what my situation I will increase comfort, then when I think I can't get any more comfortable I'll increase it again. I can get a quarter way up the bliss scale just from holding something that is uncomfortable for longer than I would normally.

I don't mean to preach at all, and I apologise to anyone who it may bore or sound like I know better but one person could read and suddenly let go of their chest and let it plummet into their stomach and feel something that stirs them. As I have discovered, the line can be fine.

Poor posture for hours on end, whether driving the car, sitting at the desk can have a negative effect in our daily lives. I understand where you are coming from Jimmy:) Therefore exercise and good diet are also important in our fight against Depression.

miss tickle

Call Me Jimmy wrote: »

I just wanted to also mention a thought that I've had for a while. When the mental processes are problematic it can be too big a goal to try and stop them directly. I cannot stop myself staring into a mirror for hours, looking at myself until I go cross-eyed and it all stops making sense. I would like to but most days I can't go outside for jog.But what I can definitely do is increase my physical comfort as I sit here.

The end result we are all looking for as humans is bliss, which comes at the end of the comfort axis. Every cell in my body can work in harmony all I have to do is acknowledge them all. I didn't shy away from a chill down my back yesterday and it turned to glorious warmth.

So no matter what my situation I will increase comfort, then when I think I can't get any more comfortable I'll increase it again. I can get a quarter way up the bliss scale just from holding something that is uncomfortable for longer than I would normally.

I don't mean to preach at all, and I apologise to anyone who it may bore or sound like I know better but one person could read and suddenly let go of their chest and let it plummet into their stomach and feel something that stirs them. As I have discovered, the line can be fine.

I hope you don't mind, I'm new to this thread but have viewed it from time to time as some of the posts would tie in with my own frame of mind. I like what you said there though, sometimes embracing what makes you feel uncomfortable can often give you a sense of freedom, if you start with the small things and build up it can really work. I remember a couple of years ago I could not face going into school to pick up my child, in fairness to my partner, he used to nudge me every day, at first to just to come and sit in the car, and then to go to the door with him. It took a while, and had an unpleasant build up every time but the sense of acheivement made up for it. Looking back I can see how controlled exposure can really work so long as you are willing to extend your boundaries a little each time.

Reiketsu

I'm glad to say that I'm feeling pretty good today! Tonight myself and a few friends went to a maze in cornfield. Spent most of the time lost but it was good fun and getting outdoors was great . Covered in mud! I haven't been sleeping great but I feel proper sleepy tonight if that makes any sense? Socialising really does wonder for me.

miss tickle

Reiketsu wrote: »

I'm glad to say that I'm feeling pretty good today! Tonight myself and a few friends went to a maze in cornfield. Spent most of the time lost but it was good fun and getting outdoors was great . Covered in mud! I haven't been sleeping great but I feel proper sleepy tonight if that makes any sense? Socialising really does wonder for me.

Got to say, there's nothing better to give a bit of perpective, than getting down and dirty outdoors.:)

murria

From Pieta House FB page

"Every week ten people die by suicide in Ireland, eight of them are men."

Shocking but not surpring. Talk to someone guys .

delthedriver

murria wrote: »

From Pieta House FB page

"Every week ten people die by suicide in Ireland, eight of them are men."

Shocking but not surprising. Talk to someone guys .

Shocking statistics indeed. these far outweigh the number of people killed on our roads. Truly awful!

We are so lucky to have this thread, we are all soldiers fighting the war on Depression.

As Murria said 'Talk to someone guys':):)

JupiterKid

I'm doing a course in self-esteem that I am finding immense benefit from. It is all about developing a sense of healthy self-esteem and moving away from the negative automatic thinking that drags me down. Mindfulness plays a big part in the course.

I'm taking things each day, sometimes even each hour, at a time as thinking about things - especially loved ones who are ill and my stalled career - makes me highly anxious and the anxiety only brings me down. So I'm trying to practice mindfulness every day.

Millicent

Man, I shouldn't drink. I am all but recovered from depression these days but a few drinks really brings out my self-destructive streak and the fear that follows for days after puts me right back into the depths of my worst depression...

Jesus, I don't know why I put myself through that.

Call Me Jimmy

JupiterKid wrote: »

I'm doing a course in self-esteem that I am finding immense benefit from. It is all about developing a sense of healthy self-esteem and moving away from the negative automatic thinking that drags me down. Mindfulness plays a big part in the course.

I'm taking things each day, sometimes even each hour, at a time as thinking about things - especially loved ones who are ill and my stalled career - makes me highly anxious and the anxiety only brings me down. So I'm trying to practice mindfulness every day.

Care to share JupiterKid? I am sure other people would be interested, including myself!

Dodd

I don't the money to go to my GP or phone and will be out off Internet when my credit is up.
I only talk to people that meet me when I walk my dog and talk about my dog.
I cut bad last night just because a person that doesn't even know my name was busy in a shop and could not talk about my dog.
That said I am in a better place than I was a few weeks ago.

Dodd

I got a link from a mod here some time ago for (turn to me. Org ) but was never able to reg there.I tried many times.

Turtwig

Dodd if you're financial situation is really stark talk to your community welfare officer immediately! Also ask your GP to see you anyway.

delthedriver

Hope all are doing well.

It is a new day and a new week!

My thought this week again is on exercise and nutrition.

While we are spending time concentrating on our broken heads, we must also take care of our bodies.

Gentle exercise, walking , swimming cycling are all beneficial to physical health and more importantly to cardiovascular health. It also helps promote the happy endorphins in the brain!

Poor diet can lead to lack of essential minerals and vitamins. Make sure you are getting three meals per day, drink lots of water to prevent dehydration.

Recently I spoke with my pharmacist about taking Centrum in addition to my meds. No problem. I am taking centrum to supplement vitamins and essential minerals which help promote good physical health, energy, vitality, immunity support, eye health and bone health.

It is essential to realise that Centrum is merely a supplement and does not replace your three meals per day.

At one stage I consulted a dietician, who helped me control my diet, of course when I was feeling down the sugar rush fro chocolate and biscuits were great, but not for long term health.

Apologies for going on, just thought I would share my thoughts this am to make sure we are taking care of our bodies too. It is very easy to become all consumed with the broken head and overlook our frames too.

Have a great week

Del:)

delthedriver

Jernal wrote: »

Dodd if you're financial situation is really stark talk to your community welfare officer immediately! Also ask your GP to see you anyway.

+ 1

Dodd, can you tell us something here about your dog?

Our dog is a Jack Russell.:)

glass_onion

i have an habit of over analyzing things and thinking too much.

As i said in my last post here.i used to post here.Some of my posts during that time i am deeply ashamed of them and do not agree with some of them views now.i was a different person than i am now.i am hoping even admitting that i had made some mistakes in some posts and admitting i was wrong in them i can get closure on that part of my life.

delthedriver

glass_onion wrote: »

i have an habit of over analyzing things and thinking too much.

As i said in my last post here.i used to post here.Some of my posts during that time i am deeply ashamed of them and do not agree with some of them views now.i was a different person than i am now.i am hoping even admitting that i had made some mistakes in some posts and admitting i was wrong in them i can get closure on that part of my life.

Well done glass-onion,

The past is the past and forgotten about. You have closure and left the past behind you.

You are living in THE NOW, and look forward to the future.

Life is for Living! Enjoy life!

Regards,

Del:)

Call Me Jimmy

Verging on a panic attack today, want to cry but can't. I can do the stuff I've been talking about but that's all alone. I consider myself very strong to be able to get myself to a good place because I have not a single normal human thing sustaining, food and water and shelter are the basics that I have and I am sustaining my myself but life and love are so much more than that.

In the back of my mind all this time was reconnecting with the physical side of life, interacting with other people and especially meeting someone but that all falls apart because of this baldness which is a complete obsession to me. I know other people will say it does not rule me out of the equation and logically this is true but I can not be the confident, sometimes great person I want to be with baldness and unsightliness. For me to be that requires I have a basis where i can say 'i am aesthetically attractive'. All people need this.

And the panic comes as I don't know how much longer I can take being without the main reason I'm here. My brain is wired a certain way and I can't stop it. I hate having to fight every day just for a bit of peace. And that is peace in solitude when I do get it. I hate how terminal this problem is. I hate that there's noting I can do about it. I very easily turn to the fact that it will geniunely be a whole lot easier when the end comes. I just want to be attractive, I'm not vain I just want to be able to sit across from a woman at dinner and think that this person can be as interested in me physically as I am then and I really think no matter what talkin I do to myself I will never truly believe that's possible.

The hardest part is the knowing that I had good ingredients but have become overcooked

joseph brand

DeVore wrote: »

So, Silicon Republic did a piece on mental health talking about this thread and me ahead of tonights conference on the topic.

http://www.siliconrepublic.com/innovation/item/34300-internet-and-social-media/

Its so weird talking to journalists. Even ones who WANT to get the message straight seem to manage to mangle it in the process. Some of the quotes from me are accurate but out of context and so seem a bit "odd". Others are fabrications of what I said in a longer form and condensed into pseudo-quotes and other bits are just... eh?!

Anyway, the plus side is that its another chip away at the problem and maybe more people will start to think about the issue and possible solutions.

I'm still a bit "strange" about being the poster boy for this, especially when I have a currently active new startup seeking investment but I guess I opened this pandoras box, cant really blame anyone else

“They can see and read similar stories and realise they are not so much different from everybody else’s and can tell their own stories.

This is so important. When people don't communicate openly with others, there is a perception that 'everyone else is fine, but I'm useless/ my life stinks'. Having close friends helps, as they might be more open and honest about problems they have. This is why loneliness can be so dangerous. I heard recently on the radio about farmers dying by suicide. It can be a lonely existence, from what I've heard.

There have been a few suicides from people close to me. And back in 2006, my sister got tinnitus. It started to drive her crazy and she felt depressed. So much so, that she decided one evening to walk down the steps on the Liffey quay. She got in up to her chest, but turned back, after thinking about how it would hurt our loving parents. She was very close to drowning herself. I hate thinking about this. Anyway, her tinnitus is not as bad now, and she can cope with it, but avoids loud music (no nightclubs, music bars).

Regarding loneliness, are the mechanisms to facilitate isolated or lonely people meeting up? What help is there?

murria

Call Me Jimmy wrote: »

Verging on a panic attack today, want to cry but can't. I can do the stuff I've been talking about but that's all alone. I consider myself very strong to be able to get myself to a good place because I have not a single normal human thing sustaining, food and water and shelter are the basics that I have and I am sustaining my myself but life and love are so much more than that.

In the back of my mind all this time was reconnecting with the physical side of life, interacting with other people and especially meeting someone but that all falls apart because of this baldness which is a complete obsession to me. I know other people will say it does not rule me out of the equation and logically this is true but I can not be the confident, sometimes great person I want to be with baldness and unsightliness. For me to be that requires I have a basis where i can say 'i am aesthetically attractive'. All people need this.

And the panic comes as I don't know how much longer I can take being without the main reason I'm here. My brain is wired a certain way and I can't stop it. I hate having to fight every day just for a bit of peace. And that is peace in solitude when I do get it. I hate how terminal this problem is. I hate that there's noting I can do about it. I very easily turn to the fact that it will geniunely be a whole lot easier when the end comes. I just want to be attractive, I'm not vain I just want to be able to sit across from a woman at dinner and think that this person can be as interested in me physically as I am then and I really think no matter what talkin I do to myself I will never truly believe that's possible.

The hardest part is the knowing that I had good ingredients but have become overcooked

Jimmy

You have had a few good days in the last week, but you can't expect every day to be good, so don't imagine that good times are gone forever. It would not be normal to feel good every single day and the flip side (as you well know) is that it's not normal to feel bad every single day. Something has to change here so that most days are somewhere in the middle, with good and bad mixed in. To change your reality you are going to have to change your mind and you may need someone else to help you do that.

Here is a link to the first chapter of a book that might be useful as another "weapon in the arsenal" as you so cleverly put it yesterday. http://www.actmindfully.com.au/upimages/The_Happiness_Trap_-_Introduction_and_Chapter_one.pdf

This might sound a bit flippant, but you don't need to be attractive to you! I know the BDD is telling you otherwise, but if what you believe about looking right was true, how many people do you think would be in loving relationships? Attractiveness is more about treating people well and making them feel good -you do that already here on Boards.

I know today hasn't been great, but it's not over yet and tomorrow might be better than today. I'm sending you a big tight Mammy hug Jimmy and hopefully I can squeeze some tears out of you.

murria

glass_onion wrote: »

i have an habit of over analyzing things and thinking too much.

As i said in my last post here.i used to post here.Some of my posts during that time i am deeply ashamed of them and do not agree with some of them views now.i was a different person than i am now.i am hoping even admitting that i had made some mistakes in some posts and admitting i was wrong in them i can get closure on that part of my life.

Time to let yourself off the hook now. I don't know anyone who didn't do something daft in the past. Thank goodness for the passing of time though, we all grow up and learn from our mistakes.

Kauto0709

Everytime I think I've finally beat the depression because I've been thinking and feeling positive for a while (a few weeks this time!), out of nowhere I feel miserable again. Tired, fed up, no motivation to do anything and just can't seem to snap myself out of it. Fed up :-(

Call Me Jimmy

murria wrote: »

Jimmy

You have had a few good days in the last week, but you can't expect every day to be good, so don't imagine that good times are gone forever. It would not be normal to feel good every single day and the flip side (as you well know) is that it's not normal to feel bad every single day. Something has to change here so that most days are somewhere in the middle, with good and bad mixed in. To change your reality you are going to have to change your mind and you may need someone else to help you do that.

Here is a link to the first chapter of a book that might be useful as another "weapon in the arsenal" as you so cleverly put it yesterday. http://www.actmindfully.com.au/upimages/The_Happiness_Trap_-_Introduction_and_Chapter_one.pdf

This might sound a bit flippant, but you don't need to be attractive to you! I know the BDD is telling you otherwise, but if what you believe about looking right was true, how many people do you think would be in loving relationships? Attractiveness is more about treating people well and making them feel good -you do that already here on Boards.

I know today hasn't been great, but it's not over yet and tomorrow might be better than today. I'm sending you a big tight Mammy hug Jimmy and hopefully I can squeeze some tears out of you.

Much appreciated murria. When I feel better I will look at that book as you know I devour that kind of stuff because even if there is a single sentence or paragraph that resonates it can be beneficial, so thanks.

But not to be a moan, I can feel bad. I can feel good. I don't mind feeling bad, but its the finality of it all that means I won't ever get to feel good the way I used to again. That is what sends me into a spiral. I used to love the company of women, now it is something I have to imagine. A year and a half I have been without women in my life at all (besides my mam) and sometimes I am patient but on days like today when I feel it is not so likely I will ever be in a position to enjoy the opposite sex, I feel lame, tired and beaten.

I just have to express some of this stuff. Not that it will necessarily make anything better, or that advice in this specific regard will be heeded, but just I'm sitting here and if no-one was in the house I'd be at the very least banging my head of the wall out of frustration.

It's biology, and I'm having to go against it. To go against nature is to fight a losing battle but the feelings are so overwhelming when I look in the mirror sometimes. So I sit, and wait. Waves come as they do. The way I'm living my life right now is like having a perfect sunset at the beach looking out at sea. It's beautiful when you slow down and let it in, but there isn't another human anywhere around for me to go to after I've appreciated it for hours.

DeVore

I used to feel like I should tattoo on my body that that feeling would leave as quickly as it arrives, just to remind myself during the down days.

I was drunk in Vegas and almost got "This too shall pass" tattooed on my shoulder but the queue was so long I sobered up and went to look for more cocktails