LETS ALL LAUGH AT PEOPLE WITH DEPRESSION!!

braintoxic

I know i wont be popular but its my opinion ..

d'Oracle

braintoxic wrote: »

I know i wont be popular but its my opinion ..

You ought to have read the thread.

nacho libre

braintoxic wrote: »

I cant help but feel like ye wear it as a badge , and its like ohhhh my depression was way worse dan urs . I dont buy into it. I work hard i look after my family . I cant fford to pity myself .

you've completely misunderstood the point of the thread. it's not about glorifying depression and being self- indulgent.

Millicent

braintoxic wrote: »

I cant help but feel like ye wear it as a badge , and its like ohhhh my depression was way worse dan urs . I dont buy into it. I work hard i look after my family . I cant fford to pity myself .

So, if someone survives something like cancer, they can't wear that as a badge of pride? Or should they shut up too? Just wondering where the line is.

Millicent

Speaking of Stephen Fry, this letter really helped me. He's an amazing role model for those with any mental illnesses.

braintoxic

So wat part of . I had no milk so went to bed for the day is not feeling sorry for yourself excatly??

braintoxic

Cancer is a physical illness .depression is a mental illness ..doh

Millicent

braintoxic wrote: »

Cancer is a physical illness .depression is a mental illness ..doh

Go away. Really? Have doctors been informed about this? Someone should alert the media. Who knew depression was a mental illness and not a physical one?! /sarcasm in case you missed it.

A mental illness can be every bit as debilitating as a physical one. If someone, through struggle, hard work and great effort wants to take pride in the little victories that are scattered on the road to recovery, who are you to judge?

Wattle

braintoxic wrote: »

I cant help but feel like ye wear it as a badge , and its like ohhhh my depression was way worse dan urs . I dont buy into it. I work hard i look after my family . I cant fford to pity myself .

It's because of attitudes like yours that it's still a taboo subject. Some on this thread have suffered, some are still suffering and I think most are reflecting on their experiences and trying to help others along. What's so bad about that?

d'Oracle

Millicent wrote: »

Go away. Really? Have doctors been informed about this? Someone should alert the media. Who knew depression was a mental image and not a physical one?! /sarcasm in case you missed it.

A mental illness can be every bit as debilitating as a physical one. If someone, through struggle, hard work and great effort wants to take pride in the little victories that are scattered on the road to recovery, who are you to judge?

Don't feed the troll.

Millicent

d'Oracle wrote: »

Don't feed the troll.

Noted.

dr.bollocko

Braintoxic banned.

Inability to read a thread / inability to reply without goading others.

bubbuz

braintoxic wrote: »

I cant help but feel like ye wear it as a badge , and its like ohhhh my depression was way worse dan urs . I dont buy into it. I work hard i look after my family . I cant fford to pity myself .

As we all know on here, depression sufferers hide their depression as much as possible and often come across as the most happy go lucky people to the outside world, hence the fact that 99 % of suicide's get the reaction " I was shocked, he/she was always so happy and bubbly, I just never saw it coming ". If depression sufferers wore it like a badge then you could be damn sure that most of the poor people who saw no other way out than to end it all would still be here today.

Wear it like a badge :mad::mad:

perri winkles

Wow guys thanks so much for the replies, I don't know how to multi quote I'm posting off my phone.

I'm not so bad that I'm contemplating suicide thank goodness. Just feel like I've nobody to talk to. I tried with my parents and a work collegue but just got the usual "ah sure it's not the end of the world"

The thing that is eating away at me is not seen to be a big deal to other people. And I do understand this, sp I feel bad mentioning it or bringing it up as there are much worse things and the view would be that I've a pretty decent life I guess. I just feel so so down and have been for a lOng time. Yesterday it just kinda peaked and this thread really has helped so much.

I feel so self absorbed sometimes over it, or such a misery guts. I just ugh it's awful to feel this way

Thanks again

fozzle

Okay, here goes.

First off, fair play DeVore, been following the thread and I'm really impressed with what you've started.

I can't believe how many users I'm friends with or have fairly regular contact with are fighting off that black shadow. To any of you I haven't given a break or given a hug when needed, I'm sorry. *huuuuuugs*

So, I'm fozzle and I suffer from depression. I don't know if there's a more precise name for it, my GP doesn't like labels and has discouraged me from looking for one. Don't know if he's right but anyway. I've stuggled with this at least since I was 9 years old, I was offered medication in leaving cert but refused it, largely because of the stigma I felt was attached to it. Like so many here I have ups and downs, more downs than ups it can feel. Getting out of bed is a battle every day, one I don't always win. Just this morning I nearly gave up just because my car keys weren't where they should be.

A couple of years ago I went to a behavioural therapist, maybe it works for people but for me it was a disaster. She spent the first session trying to convince me to change the only parts of my life I had told her were helping, especially my fiance. After the next seaion I got a letter saying my next appointment was postponed due to a family emergency - fair enough. After EIGHT MONTHS of ringing them I got a letter for another appointment, the following day. I rang to rearrange for when I wasn't working and was told that since I hadn't given a weeks notice I was being removed from their patient list. In the interrim I'd started self harming and really needed help but since I'm also keeping down a job, no chance without being able to adjust appointments.

That's it really. I haven't been on boardsie in over a year, I crashed a bit after a year with way too many funerals. I used be a mod here but vanishing off the face of the earth wasn't very helpful. DeVore and the gang, the mods who stepped in to cover for me with no explaination, and my abandoned friends on the forum - I'm sorry. Any of you who know me away from boardsie will have seen I'm getting back into the world, I'm hoping this thread has spurred me on with that. It's like a balancing act though - even when you're "up" you're constantly aware of that drop on either side of you and the slightest thing can ruin your concentration.

I work in retail so I don't always have the strength outside work to put on my shiny face and that's cost me friendships. But ask most people and they'll say "Fozzle? Why she's the life and soul of a party - always joking and laughing and so very loud.". It's like how DeVore said he's Robert de Niro - I think a lot of people with depression are astonishingly good at hiding how they feel, I guess it's a coping mechanism. Makes me de Niro with boobs, right?

Anyway, sorry for the long rambling largely pointless post, just nice to get stuff off my chest. Unlike many here I'm lucky to have a husband to talk too, but I hate dumping this crap on him.

Thanks guys and gals, *hugs* for all.

thebostoncrab

perri winkles wrote: »

Wow guys thanks so much for the replies, I don't know how to multi quote I'm posting off my phone.

I'm not so bad that I'm contemplating suicide thank goodness. Just feel like I've nobody to talk to. I tried with my parents and a work collegue but just got the usual "ah sure it's not the end of the world"

The thing that is eating away at me is not seen to be a big deal to other people. And I do understand this, sp I feel bad mentioning it or bringing it up as there are much worse things and the view would be that I've a pretty decent life I guess. I just feel so so down and have been for a lOng time. Yesterday it just kinda peaked and this thread really has helped so much.

I feel so self absorbed sometimes over it, or such a misery guts. I just ugh it's awful to feel this way

Thanks again

You're reactions and thoughts of being self absorbed are really normal. Because of the reactions of so many people (The whole "Ah sure just cheer up and stop being a cry baby/attention whore) it's very easy to feel like you shouldn't talk about it or you're overreacting.

You should never have to feel like this. I often fall into a similar mindset were I won't talk to anyone about it because I think there is worse things in the world. It's still a disease, and like any disease ignoring it wont make it go away and will just make it worse. You're not being irrational or over reacting.

As you said, one look through this thread and you will know that you're not alone with these thoughts. Any time you're feeling this low just fire a PM to any of us that offered a shoulder or an ear. Much better than keeping it in and feeling worse about it

Some day soon I think people's attitudes to mental health will change and we won't feel like we shouldn't discuss it in public anymore and people will understand better.

brummytom

I know this is slightly off-topic from just sharing experiences, so apologies.
But this is directed to anyone who's actually gone to a doctor to talk about depression. It might sound stupid, but how did you say it?

As I think I said in my last post, I went to the doctors the other week with the intention of bringing it up. I got in, all I managed to say was something quite pathetic like 'I generally just feel low all the time', and his reply was 'well you don't seem like you've got depression. See you'. Which made me so angry, it felt like I was being called a liar for telling him how I felt.

How do you tell someone how you feel so far that they can actually understand what an impact it's having on you, without just looking like an attention seeker?

Mars Bar

brummytom wrote: »

I know this is slightly off-topic from just sharing experiences, so apologies.
But this is directed to anyone who's actually gone to a doctor to talk about depression. It might sound stupid, but how did you say it?

As I think I said in my last post, I went to the doctors the other week with the intention of bringing it up. I got in, all I managed to say was something quite pathetic like 'I generally just feel low all the time', and his reply was 'well you don't seem like you've got depression. See you'. Which made me so angry, it felt like I was being called a liar for telling him how I felt.

How do you tell someone how you feel so far that they can actually understand what an impact it's having on you, without just looking like an attention seeker?

Write down all of the feelings you feel over a period of a few days and hand it to your doctor? Like a diary.

openarms

Hey,

Long time listener, first time caller...

Fair play to the poster for such an honest approach to what can be an absolute curse. After reading the initial post and so many heart felt responses I swear ta God I really needed to add my two cents worth.

Since I was a young lad I knew something was wrong. Jesus, for as long as I can remember there was always a crazy thing going on in my head. I won't get in to the nitty gritty stuff and give a life history. To cut things short I was diagnosed bi-polar only 9 months ago after spending what I can only describe as a really messed up perception of what life actually was for near on two decades.

I have the war wounds to show what results from that dark bottomless pit. I thought and so did my family that I reached rock bottom on a couple of occasions. Now, after such a long time, there is hope...some thing I thought I'd never see. Maybe thats down to the 3 different medications I'm on or to the possibility that I'm just tired of feeling sad for God knows what reason.

But ya know what? I know I'm going to have a struggle for as long as I exist on this planet. I haven't spoken to anyone about what I'm about to say, not even (I hate the word psychiatrists, shrink etc.)..so for pc sake, consultant? In the last 12 months I've lost 3 friends, one was my best mate. The first chap to leave us died through natural causes, the other two did what I tried soo hard to do. And the last chap to do it broke my heart...I never knew he felt like that? ..... jesus...that threw me back to the stone age...

Enough of me going on...lads & ladies....depression...its a nasty biatch...it strikes....it is indiscriminate in its actions. I see what happens when "it" goes catasrophic.

Just talk, thats all... If it's your best friend, your brother, your sister.... whoever...just talk.. I did, I'm still here and I wouldn't be, if it wasn't for those that now I know...are the people that were there all along.....

fozzle

@Brummytom, first off *hugs*. Unfortuneately your GP can only go by what you tell him so if you understate how bad you feel he won't know you're lying. (although he should probably try digging a bit more). I know how hard it can be - I've chickened out and claimed a headcold as the reason for my visit. If you feel he's too dismissive don't be afraid to try talking to a different gp. There's no magic to telling him I'm afraid, all I can suggest is writing down what you want to say - then if you clam up you can just hand it to him to read - I've had to do this. Good luck.

saa

brummytom wrote: »

I know this is slightly off-topic from just sharing experiences, so apologies.
But this is directed to anyone who's actually gone to a doctor to talk about depression. It might sound stupid, but how did you say it?

As I think I said in my last post, I went to the doctors the other week with the intention of bringing it up. I got in, all I managed to say was something quite pathetic like 'I generally just feel low all the time', and his reply was 'well you don't seem like you've got depression. See you'. Which made me so angry, it felt like I was being called a liar for telling him how I felt.

How do you tell someone how you feel so far that they can actually understand what an impact it's having on you, without just looking like an attention seeker?

You are NOT an attention seeker or lying, I saw a nurse the other week who didn't take my stress seriously first reaction was to be hurt but she was busy and I know how many health workers do not know how to handle mental health they are mostly only there to refer you on so please try and ask for that don't spend weeks trying to play tug of war with this doctor they should not refuse to offer you services and that doesnt mean locking you up, so don't be worried usually an appointment with someone who knows what theyre on about

That doctor is playing a dangerous game but I'm sure that if you don't bring it up again s/he will think you coped with it like some people and it was a passing thing but its very dangerous to assume that, the doctor should be concerned if your symptoms persist, a very cold way of looking at it.

My best advice is to go see another doctor if you can, if you can write symptoms as mentioned above like a journal but rate the feelings and what they effect and what triggers them (you may not know how to articulate those things though thats okay). You can mention how you appear in public is not a true image of how you're coping, you can write it down in a list and give it to him explaining that you're nervous about admitting you're struggling with this, it might help to look up the symptoms of depression but don't take it seriously or try and diagnose yourself but just to see if anything jumps out at you putting your feelings into a term.

Anyway you don't have to do any of the above I can understand how hard it is to talk about this.

Adamantium

as an aside regarding generalised anxiety, not depression which is an entirely different thing

I know its a a somewhat frowned upon notion these days, but its something that has me feel a lot brighter and just happier and less cluttered mentally..........

we shouldn't connect with the WHOLE world!, the only world you should improve is your own, friends,plans, job, family etc,(our own little tribe)

I've bascially all but stopped watching news, tv, even radio, i'll turn off the ads, if I want to watch something I'll download it. I'm much MUCH BETTER FOR IT, you can actually hear yourself think and work through problems, you owe your attention to yourself, and not simply distractions

When you think about it, the first 15 seconds of the evening news is the absolute worst 15 things that happened in in the entire world, exaggerated by 1000% and squeezed into that 15 seconds.

to happen to 7000 million people, of course every story is going to be apocalyptic in nature, and you know what you can't do much about any of it, so why bother? But we're told we should care :rolleyes:

Is it any wonder anxiety,paranoia levels are through the roof?

I hate the saying ignorance is bliss, but people



When you say it think of it like that, why would anyone watch it?

I hate the saying ignorance is bliss, but it applies!!

Why, i mean think why should everything sync with each other? more useless Tech ****e to stop us from talking face to face and actually getting to know a fellow human being (asking for direction)



We're cavemen living in a alien era!

Is it any wonder anxiety,paranoia levels are through the roof?

Now i understand the irony of me writing this on boards.ie, i'll be honest I hardly ever go on it anymore, but when I do, its great to look up PI and C&H and see them buzzing, and it gives like minded people others to talk when they couldn't otherwise.

And well done DeV on keeping on top of your struggles and everybody else, and I actually advocating your approach to mental health, rather than paying damn lup service to it, and saying so "are you well now after all that", too often belive in the magic pill to sort everything out unfortuantely that the society we live in

rebel without a clue

brummytom wrote: »

I know this is slightly off-topic from just sharing experiences, so apologies.
But this is directed to anyone who's actually gone to a doctor to talk about depression. It might sound stupid, but how did you say it?

if i go to a doctor and tell him i think im depressed etc. i will actually start bauling. i mean there'll be snot/ spit/ breathlessness...... i know it sounds pathetic but jesus i dont know if i can do it.

Acacia

Millicent wrote: »

And I've said it before and I'll say it again -- Pieta House saved my life, not only through stopping me wanting to end it, but by helping me to find meaning in it and learning to place a value on it.

Ditto. I'm not exagerrating when I say I probably would have tried to take my own life by now had it not been for that organisation. Who knows, I may have succeeded...

Well, I've posted on this topic several times before, so I won't repeat myself, other than saying there is no worse feeling in the world than the feeling that your own mind is against you. It's a hellish place to be that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. It's so hard to explain how it feels, even to people who experienced it themselves, because I think it's a subjective experience and what works for some might not work for others.

The best advice I can give to anyone who thinks they may be suffering is- get help. Now. Even if it's just ringing the Samaritans. Don't listen to bolloxology off other people about getting your act together and "you've no reason to feel sad"- if you can't get out of bed and are constantly thinking of suicide, that's not normal and there is no reason why you should accept that you have to suffer.

I should've gone to counselling years ago ( quite frankly, I think I should still be going, but at least I'm out of the acute suicidal ideation/self-harm phase I was in up until about 6 months ago)- but it was thinking that, in a perverse way, I didn't deserve to have help that made me put it off. Don't suffer needlessly like I did.

cloud493

Acacia wrote: »

Ditto. I'm not exagerrating when I say I probably would have tried to take my own life by now had it not been for that organisation. Who knows, I may have succeeded...

Well, I've posted on this topic several times before, so I won't repeat myself, other than saying there is no worse feeling in the world than the feeling that your own mind is against you. It's a hellish place to be that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. It's so hard to explain how it feels, even to people who experienced it themselves, because I think it's a subjective experience and what works for some might not work for others.

The best advice I can give to anyone who thinks they may be suffering is- get help. Now. Even if it's just ringing the Samaritans. Don't listen to bolloxology off other people about getting your act together and "you've no reason to feel sad"- if you can't get out of bed and are constantly thinking of suicide, that's not normal and there is no reason why you should accept that you have to suffer.

I should've gone to counselling years ago ( quite frankly, I think I should still be going, but at least I'm out of the acute suicidal ideation/self-harm phase I was in up until about 6 months ago)- but it was thinking that, in a perverse way, I didn't deserve to have help that made me put it off. Don't suffer needlessly like I did.

I don't doubt Pieta house is good. But I found it unhelpful, to be honest. Im going back on Friday, but Im not expecting much from it.

Acacia

cloud493 wrote: »

I don't doubt Pieta house is good. But I found it unhelpful, to be honest. Im going back on Friday, but Im not expecting much from it.

Ah sorry to hear that , Cloud. Maybe it's just a case of settling in with your counsellor. I was lucky in that I kinda clicked with my one from the first day, but I'm sure it's different for everyone.

Have you tried anywhere else?

DeVore

rebel without a clue wrote: »

if i go to a doctor and tell him i think im depressed etc. i will actually start bauling. i mean there'll be snot/ spit/ breathlessness...... i know it sounds pathetic but jesus i dont know if i can do it.

If thats what happens then its a self fulfilling prophesy..... if thats what happens, thats what you needed....

DeV.

cloud493

Acacia wrote: »

Ah sorry to hear that , Cloud. Maybe it's just a case of settling in with your counsellor. I was lucky in that I kinda clicked with my one from the first day, but I'm sure it's different for everyone.

Have you tried anywhere else?

I tried a few counsellors, someone off the HSE, I just can't talk to people like that.

Millicent

cloud493 wrote: »

I don't doubt Pieta house is good. But I found it unhelpful, to be honest. Im going back on Friday, but Im not expecting much from it.

Any reason in particular? It can take some people longer than others to click with a counsellor or feel comfortable talking to one. Tbh, for the first few weeks I was it, I thought, "This is doing me no good at all." Took some time but eventually I settled into it and started to thrive. All that said though, what worked for me isn't necessarily what will work for you. Good luck finding what works for you.

Acacia

cloud493 wrote: »

I tried a few counsellors, someone off the HSE, I just can't talk to people like that.

It can feel weird talking to randomers about your personal problems. Even though I got on well with my counsellor, it can take awhile to get used to that. I went to another place before Pieta and I didn't think much of it, so maybe it's case of 'shopping around'.

If you feel more comfortable talking anonymously, there's a thread I post on here and find it helpful.

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2055828992


I'd give Pieta a little while longer yet, though, or maybe switch counsellor if it doesn't feel right. I found them very nice and accomodating about that sorta thing.