LETS ALL LAUGH AT PEOPLE WITH DEPRESSION!!

The Big Smoke

I have to say, giving up alcohol has really helped with coping with the depression. Don't get me wrong I still get the manic lows and dizzying highs as usual but I can tolerate it a little better without a hangover.

Wattle

Suas11 wrote: »

I don't think I've ever felt as depressed as I am right now. I just feel like I can't go on any longer. Due to having intense social anxiety/phobia, I'm 24 and not only am I still a virgin but I've never been in relationship or even kissed a girl. Laughingly pathetic, right? I've lost contact with most of my old friends too. I have absolutely no self-confidence and self-esteem whatsoever. I've gone to the doctor and am due to start CBT, which I very much doubt will make any difference anyway. I just keep feeling worse and worse. I started self-harming which is only getting more severe and more frequent, same with having suicidal thoughts. I just feel so f*cking pathetic and such a loser and a freak. I've felt like this for years and it's only getting more intense as time goes by. I've missed out on so much in life and I don't think I'm ever going to find anyone. Who the hell would want someone my age that has no experience whatsoever? I'd rather be dead than end up alone.

I don't even know why I'm typing this. I guess it's just to relieve at least some amount of the tension and distress that I'm feeling right now.

You remind me so much of me and I'm 20 years older than you . When I'm depressed everything is wrong. Just try and recognise that that feeling is a distorted one. Try and take it a day at a time and keep releasing those negative emotions whether it be writing them out (as you've done here) or if you can by physical exercise. Or both. I find swimming great myself for easing tension. Remember that you can't fix your entire life overnight and that fixing things has to be step by step, day by day. Keep communicating how you're feeling even if you think that people might think you're going bonkers. Don't stay on your own with these thoughts because isolation only makes them fester and seem insurmountable. When you learn to accept yourself more you become less self obsessed, the real you will emerge and relationships will naturally follow.

jadun

Probably said a hundred times but exercise is a great fix. Join a gym and do a lot of jogging and a few weights. It will break up your week and give you something to do.
I was depressed and exercise cured me as well as trying to do something unique each week like taking a walk on a beach, booking a few days away, getting in contact with old friends and going to meetup groups to meet new people, instead of sitting there feeling sorry for myself do something about it.

This is a good video

BrianG23

P_1 wrote: »

Great thread here, figured I should throw my two cent in.

I'm not sure if it's depression or what that I have but lately I've been feeling hardly any emotion either way (joy or sorrow) for some time now, combined with a massive lack of motivation and a massive cynicism bordering on distrust of others. Small fry compared to what some of the rest of you here seem to be having here I guess.

Me too buddy. I don't have it nearly as bad as most of you peeps either. How long have you been like this P_1? It's likely depression btw. I have anxiety and depression, the type of depression where your emotions are extremely suppressed. Got very fed up of feeling nothing and having nothign to add to conversations. If I could describe depressed it would be suppressed emotions with a hint of sadness the entire time. I also believe long term depression causes brain fog(shut down nurons etc etc) which is very annoying. It's like having a constant hangover and you cannot concentrate on anything.

Here's my little story, Bold is what happened after I did something about the depression and anxiety. Which was get on an SSRI which i'm still on but slowly getting off it.

Family issues
mam and dad didn't get that them constantly fighting and generally disliking each other is WAY worse for their kids than just splitting up. I essentially don't have friends on my road because of them, just very embarrassing as a kid when your family is known to have those parents that constantly fight. You can see how that might have panned out for myself.

Other than that, my dad and I never really have a conversation, I haven't spoken to one of the sisters in years either.

That is all for my family issues.

This is pretty much the same as before.

School.
I used to be a very good student when I was a kid, high marks in alot of things. In 2nd year, before a maths test, I was worried about it as usual, and then I just 'stopped'. I stopped caring about it. And my grades in general. Didn't understand it at all, why I just stopped caring.
4th year - I basically stopped attending school. I became a very poor student all through 5th and 6th year. I didn't really try at all for the leaving, I studied only a day before each test and ended up with 280 points. Anxiety really kicked in during these years, I started becoming that quiet kid. I still had friends though. I was just bad with people I didn't know to well.

College.
Have been to Tallaght IT and DIT before this course. Both times, Anxiety ****ing destroyed me. Barely attended either of them, left soon after. Was simply horrible around new people/ I started again this year, but this time I had a friend with me doing the same course. This made it easier for me and while depression and anxiety where in full swing this time, I managed not to drop out and stuck with it. Passing into 2nd year.
I knew there was something wrong with me. It was getting rediculous that I wasn't doing something about it. A lecturor noticed this very easily, saying I was very good when I was in and why the hell was I just missing classes and stuff. Pretty much told me to go to the counsellor. I didn't think I could go to the counsellor at the time. And I didn't. I waited till summer. Then I finally just went to the doctor, told him how I was feeling and asked for an SSRI. He prescribed me lexapro. I'm in 2nd year now. I'm doing WAY better. Much more friends, simply attending and caring more about everything.

Lovelife/lack of lovelife(Harrharr)
I've always been a bit average looking if not below average. Well, as a kid I certainly was. I have kissed girls but never had a girlfriend. I only got laid this summer too so I was a 21 year old virgin. Due to anxiety and depression.
This is for the 24 year old virgin. I have gotten to the state where I have never had a girlfriend, barely ever had any interest froom women or else couldn't man up and take a chance at it. To 'pulling' most times I go out. Confidence is just gone through the roof. And everyone has noticed and called me on it haha. Don't worry about still being a virgin. Forget women and understand that you WILL get rid of this anxiety. Which is where it starts.

Emotions
I went from feeling nothiing and being nervous about everything, to being quite happy. My life has improved so much over the last 6 months. My brain fog is gone, motivation is back, I feel happy and sad like i'm supposed to. Sometimes I have my dips but still. Massive improvement. To anyone who reads, just do something about it. Stop waiting.

K-9

Suas11 wrote: »

Due to having intense social anxiety/phobia, I'm 24 and not only am I still a virgin but I've never been in relationship or even kissed a girl. Laughingly pathetic, right? I've lost contact with most of my old friends too. I have absolutely no self-confidence and self-esteem whatsoever. I've gone to the doctor and am due to start CBT, which I very much doubt will make any difference anyway.

What seems a massive big deal to one person is nothing to another. Take the ladies man that I'm sure you know, chances are, he has other issues that he struggles with in his life with and you cope with fine. CBT tries to help you with self confidence and esteem, and believe me, women love a man who is confident, self critical, self aware and a pleasure to be around. You've far more chance of becoming that person than the stereotypical don juan who'll end up regretting all the chances he had
and let slip.

P_1 wrote: »

Great thread here, figured I should throw my two cent in.

I'm not sure if it's depression or what that I have but lately I've been feeling hardly any emotion either way (joy or sorrow) for some time now, combined with a massive lack of motivation and a massive cynicism bordering on distrust of others. Small fry compared to what some of the rest of you here seem to be having here I guess.

I remember feeling like a Zombie, haven't felt like that in a good while. That was the worst for me. I had a worse time since that, but looking back, feeling nothing was my low. Anger and guilt is better, at least I felt something, felt alive.

Wattle wrote: »

You remind me so much of me and I'm 20 years older than you . When I'm depressed everything is wrong. Just try and recognise that that feeling is a distorted one. Try and take it a day at a time and keep releasing those negative emotions whether it be writing them out (as you've done here) or if you can by physical exercise. Or both. I find swimming great myself for easing tension. Remember that you can't fix your entire life overnight and that fixing things has to be step by step, day by day. Keep communicating how you're feeling even if you think that people might think you're going bonkers. Don't stay on your own with these thoughts because isolation only makes them fester and seem insurmountable. When you learn to accept yourself more you become less self obsessed, the real you will emerge and relationships will naturally follow.

Brilliant post. I'm going through a phase of writing stuff out on a book or pad, something I know I'll go back to. If I don't it'll get lost in the maze of the mind and might never come back.

P_1

BrianG23 wrote: »

Me too buddy. I don't have it nearly as bad as most of you peeps either. How long have you been like this P_1? It's likely depression btw. I have anxiety and depression, the type of depression where your emotions are extremely suppressed. Got very fed up of feeling nothing and having nothign to add to conversations. If I could describe depressed it would be suppressed emotions with a hint of sadness the entire time. I also believe long term depression causes brain fog(shut down nurons etc etc) which is very annoying. It's like having a constant hangover and you cannot concentrate on anything.

Probably the last few years to be honest. No family troubles to speak of unlike many others here. I think my main issue is a lack of caring about other people (I tend to just prefer my own company and have dropped a lot of friends and acquaintances because of that over the years).

BrianG23

P_1 wrote: »

Probably the last few years to be honest. No family troubles to speak of unlike many others here. I think my main issue is a lack of caring about other people (I tend to just prefer my own company and have dropped a lot of friends and acquaintances because of that over the years).

Do you really prefer your own company, or would it be possible that you became depressed and now prefer your own company? I found it easier being on my own alot of the time. Sometimes it would even be stressful and tiring just to be around people.

Do you ever feel lonely?

P_1

BrianG23 wrote: »

Do you really prefer your own company, or would it be possible that you became depressed and now prefer your own company? I found it easier being on my own alot of the time. Sometimes it would even be stressful and tiring just to be around people.

Do you ever feel lonely?

Not particularly to be honest, in fact generally I find other people to be somewhat irritating at times if that makes any sense

K-9

P_1 wrote: »

Probably the last few years to be honest. No family troubles to speak of unlike many others here.

I've no family troubles to speak of, just parents getting to an age that such is life, means sickness and death. I've a brother who is an alcoholic, but sure what family in Ireland doesn't have experience of that? Was watching Brendan O'Connor tonight, don't normally, but knew Bressie and the Cavan footballer was on. Brendan asked the question that has ran through my head for days, sure imagine having third world problems?

It's an internet meme at this stage, we live in a great country that 100's of millions of people would love to have our opportunities, but it doesn't work like that. The typhoon hitting the Philippines doesn't make us sit up and take notice of how great we have it.

I think my main issue is a lack of caring about other people (I tend to just prefer my own company and have dropped a lot of friends and acquaintances because of that over the years).

I love my own company too, that's a good thing, it's when that becomes detrimental that it becomes a problem.

The way I've started looking at depression is it curtails and inhibits your comfort zone. Everybody has a comfort zone, what we retreat to in a time of crisis. The problem with depression is that comfort zone gets smaller and smaller with each episode, I end up blocking out the outside world, retreating to a world with as little outside influence as I can possibly imagine.

What we should be doing is extending our comfort zone, setting targets and trying to achieve them. My experience of depression is it robs you of setting goals in your life, it takes the vitality and enjoyment out of life. If we don't have something to look forward to in life, well, it's a pretty sad existence!

Our goals in life can be pretty sad though, and hey, that's life. One persons climbing Everest is anothers going to the local shop and saying hello to the girl behind the counter!

P_1

That's a very interesting way of looking at it K-9. I guess I could be a bit guilty of doing that at times, mainly due to me realising that generally I don't get off on the right foot with most people that I meet and that it's easier to avoid the foot completely.

K-9

P_1 wrote: »

That's a very interesting way of looking at it K-9. I guess I could be a bit guilty of doing that at times, mainly due to me realising that generally I don't get off on the right foot with most people that I meet and that it's easier to avoid the foot completely.

I suppose people with depression focus on "the what went wrong", not the "what went right". Funnily enough, I'd tend to be an optimist and also quite confident, which makes my depressive episodes perplexing.

I look at things in a logical way, probably explains why it took so long to try and understand it, it isn't logical. It's a bewildering beast, but it makes perfect sense when you see what it does to the mind. Even though it's illogical, once you get in that frame of thinking, it makes perfect sense.

jadun

Did people view my post exercise! makes you fell 100% better.

Its curable and listen to the video.

Timmyctc

So if were one to go to a GP to explain ones concerned about ones own mental health. What would one recommend one say?..... One

jadun

From someone who battled with it myself you need a good kick of the bum.(no offense in that statement)
1) Start running and lifiting - Join a gym. Exercise will make you fell like a million dollars as my GP told me. Not walking but pushing yourself
2) Make a list of whats wrong in your life and the remedies that can cure it- you will see its a lot easier than you think.#

NO MORE EXCUSES

Esel

Timmyctc wrote: »

So if were one to go to a GP to explain ones concerned about ones own mental health. What would one recommend one say?..... One

Tell them how you are feeling. The doctor will probably ask some questions, to help them to assess you. Just answer truthfully. That can be hard sometimes, as we are all conditioned to say we are 'fine', when in reality we are not.

Any time you go to a doctor, it is a good idea to have a list of things that are worrying you. With a list in your hand, at least you can be sure that you tell them everything that is on your mind.

Maximus Alexander

K-9 wrote: »

The way I've started looking at depression is it curtails and inhibits your comfort zone. Everybody has a comfort zone, what we retreat to in a time of crisis. The problem with depression is that comfort zone gets smaller and smaller with each episode, I end up blocking out the outside world, retreating to a world with as little outside influence as I can possibly imagine.

What we should be doing is extending our comfort zone, setting targets and trying to achieve them. My experience of depression is it robs you of setting goals in your life, it takes the vitality and enjoyment out of life. If we don't have something to look forward to in life, well, it's a pretty sad existence!

I've never seen someone hit the nail on the head so well, this aligns perfectly with my own experience of depression. Despite all the pain, misery, or numbness that it might bring you, the worst thing is how it robs the very life from you.

Your comfort zone shrinking, I can so identify with that. You can try so hard to manage your depression that you end up clinging to a few places, people or activities with which you're most comfortable, where you feel the depression the least. But then in so doing, you make it even harder to leave that zone. Your comfort zone shrinks, and shrinks and this makes the depression hit you even harder because you feel more and more lonely, more and more disconnected.

I was always lucky to have some people in my life who dragged me back from the depths, pulled me by the scruff of the neck out of that comfort zone several times and made me battle through it. But when I think of those times (and it's so easy to forget), it becomes really easy to see how people get to that point where they feel like there's no return.

The only thing I can say to people who feel like they're at the bottom, and there's no way out is that there is. You can do it. Talk to people who love you, go to your doctor, even just come on here and talk to people who have had similar experiences. Do something, just don't give up. I promise it can get better.

Esel

jadun wrote: »

From someone who battled with it myself you need a good kick of the bum.(no offense in that statement)
1) Start running and lifiting - Join a gym. Exercise will make you fell like a million dollars as my GP told me. Not walking but pushing yourself
2) Make a list of whats wrong in your life and the remedies that can cure it- you will see its a lot easier than you think.#

NO MORE EXCUSES

I know you mean well, and your basic advice (that exercise helps to alleviate depression) is good, but you have to realise that simply telling someone who is depressed to exercise is not going to be effective. It is almost analogous to telling them to pull their socks up, when even finding a clean pair of socks could be an insurmountable problem to them.

However, if someone you know is depressed, then certainly encourage them to undertake an exercise program. Offer to go for a walk with them, or to go to the gym or swimming pool. Get them to the local park for a kick-around with a football.

Before that, though, they might appreciate some help to tidy their room / flat / house, and afterwards some company on a visit to the shop or supermarket.

Before that, a caring friend that they can open up to could be just what they need.

jadun

Esel wrote: »

I know you mean well, and your basic advice (that exercise helps to alleviate depression) is good, but you have to realise that simply telling someone who is depressed to exercise is not going to be effective. It is almost analogous to telling them to pull their socks up, when even finding a clean pair of socks could be an insurmountable problem to them.

However, if someone you know is depressed, then certainly encourage them to undertake an exercise program. Offer to go for a walk with them, or to go to the gym or swimming pool. Get them to the local park for a kick-around with a football.

Before that, though, they might appreciate some help to tidy their room / flat / house, and afterwards some company on a visit to the shop or supermarket.

Before that, a caring friend that they can open up to could be just what they need.

I understand that but IMO exercise is the best thing to get you on the road to recovery. It aided my recovery 100% Exercise helped me a lot. I just think that people should try it if your feeling down. It takes a lot of effort but try and stick to it and set yourself goals. I dont mean a walk , I mean pushing yourself a good bit that your muscles will be sore the next morning.

It is tough but hold your heads high battling this terrible illness. Keep yourself busy and if your need of company contact meetup. I made a lot of friends that way.

Worst thing you can do is sit at home feeling sorry for yourself. Go to the shops and have a look around, go to the cinema by yourself. Make a list of goals whats wrong in your life and why you are depressed and try to rectify the situation. Sitting there feeling sorry for yourself is not going to help(I was depressed badly for two years, I know its not that easy)

Just think of it your life is going to start tomorrow and **** the other person you have become. Think positive and remember all the good things you have in your life. It will get better

Caiseoipe19

jadun wrote: »

I understand that but IMO exercise is the best thing to get you on the road to recovery. It aided my recovery 100% Exercise helped me a lot. I just think that people should try it if your feeling down. It takes a lot of effort but try and stick to it and set yourself goals. I dont mean a walk , I mean pushing yourself a good bit that your muscles will be sore the next morning.

It is tough but hold your heads high battling this terrible illness. Keep yourself busy and if your need of company contact meetup. I made a lot of friends that way.

Worst thing you can do is sit at home feeling sorry for yourself. Go to the shops and have a look around, go to the cinema by yourself. Make a list of goals whats wrong in your life and why you are depressed and try to rectify the situation. Sitting there feeling sorry for yourself is not going to help(I was depressed badly for two years, I know its not that easy)

Just think of it your life is going to start tomorrow and **** the other person you have become. Think positive and remember all the good things you have in your life. It will get better

Having someone advise me to take up exercise, go to the shops or to the cinema rather than "sit at home feeling sorry for yourself" is condescending and infuriating to say the least.

jadun

Caiseoipe19 wrote: »

Having someone advise me to take up exercise, go to the shops or to the cinema rather than "sit at home feeling sorry for yourself" is condescending and infuriating to say the least.

Why? It helps people sleep and the hormones you release make you feel a lot better. I see people on the forum complaining about not sleeping. Exercise will make you sleep or at least sleep better.

I see a lot on this board go to a psychologist and doctor which is a good idea but you need to help yourself firsrt

Turtwig

First off, if something works for you it's no guarantee it's going to work for others. Everyone's circumstances are different. Have you stopped to consider they might have an illness or disability that inhibits exercise? Secondly, exercise isn't as good as some people think. A lot of people make the assumption that people who are healthy are healthy because they exercise. Possibly, but it's also possible they're exercising simply because they're healthy. A dead person can't exercise all that well. Slide back the scale of health and the correlation becomes murky. People who exercise regularly can still get sick. Who's at greater risk health wise: the person who exercises regularly, drinks regularly and eats loads of fast food? Or the person who eats healthily, drinks occasionally and exercises rarely? It's intentionally murky. It's get even murkier when looked at through the lens of professional sports. Depression is just as common there. These are people with intensive exercise regimes, usually tailored diets and yet they still struggle.

The point here is not to dismiss exercise. It can certainly be beneficial but the individual needs to be taken into account. For some people exercise that helps suppress the immune system is a good thing. For others that can be very bad. Exercise, like everything, is about the individual finding the balance that best suits them. That's not as easy at it sounds. Some will find light exercise helps, others will find intense exercise helps, and others may find it doesn't make any difference intense, light or no regime at all. Such is the nastiness of certain illnesses.

glass_onion

Tobyglen wrote: »

Anyone have a name of a psychologist in South Dublin, it would be a great help. Suffering with anxiety & Depression and am at a loss. Would be very grateful for a PM.

Hi.see a gp.they should be able to make a referral.

BroD1

Hi,
I'm new to this site, but hoping someone can give me some advice/insight into depression. My boyfriend has been having a bad episode of depression for the last 3months, he's had others over the last year, but this one is definitely going on the longest. We see each other maybe once a week now, but that was after weeks of him shutting himself off. I went to see him yesterday, but he was not at home and wouldn't answer my calls or texts. I know I shouldn't take it personal, but it just seems like another set back as we had a nice couple of days last week and now its back to ignoring me. I've read a lot about depression and he's told me about the numbness of feelings and hes quite angry at everything at the moment. I am being supportive to him, and reading and researching about it helps me understand more. If someone who has gone through a bad depression and pushed people they loved only days before away from them could give me some advice, I'd really appreciate it. Thanks

glass_onion

BroD1 wrote: »

Hi,
I'm new to this site, but hoping someone can give me some advice/insight into depression. My boyfriend has been having a bad episode of depression for the last 3months, he's had others over the last year, but this one is definitely going on the longest. We see each other maybe once a week now, but that was after weeks of him shutting himself off. I went to see him yesterday, but he was not at home and wouldn't answer my calls or texts. I know I shouldn't take it personal, but it just seems like another set back as we had a nice couple of days last week and now its back to ignoring me. I've read a lot about depression and he's told me about the numbness of feelings and hes quite angry at everything at the moment. I am being supportive to him, and reading and researching about it helps me understand more. If someone who has gone through a bad depression and pushed people they loved only days before away from them could give me some advice, I'd really appreciate it. Thanks

I don't know if this will help but i try-

Your boyfriend is lucky to have someone like you!.someone who is kind and supportive.There a stigma to depression and other illnesses,but you instead not ignoring his issues you are trying to help.so well done you.

I guess,give him time to come around.drop him a small text message saying you are thinking of him.Perhaps, if discreetly have a talk with someone else close to them just to keep an eye on him.of course it has to be someone he trust so it won't be seen as a "betrayal" of trust.

I take it from your post you are quiet compassionate to him.Which is good.So he may be feeling guilty about it all when things get settled again. Then try have talk,if there is something he can't talk about with you,perhaps see a counselor/other MH supports.together or alone.

Wish you all the best.

murria

Hi, just a reminder to everyone on this thread who posts, reads, thanks or lurks, we are meeting up on December 7th at 3.00pm in the Octagon Bar of the Clarence Hotel, Wellington Quay, Dublin 2.

Call in for a coffee, a beer or whatever and take a break from the Christmas shopping.

Look forward to seeing you.

Murria

PTH2009

im 23 (24 in a few weeks) and i feel so depressed now that death is closing in

I work part time for the last 5 years but its a job thats not worth doing for a proper living (ie raising a family etc)

I have done many courses in college and my highest qulification is a higher cert.

I have no friends to go out and drink with, i mostly go out alone and try and drink myself silly to try and stop the inner embarrassment of being a loner. Most weekends i stay in and just drink cans and browse boards. I lost my girlfriend and best friend this year due to reasons that none of the 2 will tell me and none of the 2 will talk to me.

I have tried many dating sites and simply nobody is intrested in me (I feel like im not ugly). I cant see myself finding a girlfriend because i drink alone and i dont look like someone that is friendly enough to be approached.

I suffer from very mild aspergers (My ex doesnt know that so if i found out earlier maybe we could of worked around it anyway nothing i can do about that). I feel like a special needs person but im not (I completed secondary and college life with my condition). I always look at people say 'if he can get a girl thans there simply a chance for me'. Im no saint but im a kinder gentler person that some men out there who have girlfriends.

I always suffer from depression after big events eg im going to irelands match next weekend and despite the result i will depressed thats it all over. so a way i manage that is that i always buy concert tickets and match tickets ( id say i have something on eg match, concert every 2-3 months).

The next few weekends are going to be tough , i miss my best friend, i miss all the things i was suppose to be doing with the girlfriend, everyone has work partys and xmas nights out and i have nothing to look forward too in that sense. Im worried about new years eve because i knw im going to be alone and everyone else will be out drinking and celebrating

I have had 3 interviews for new jobs so far this year all have been unsuccessful. The first one was for a supermarket got a letter saying the usual bull crap saying 'oh there was someone better than you'. The 2nd one was for a well known call centre and i had it in my head that yes im suited to this job and that they will hire me because it has been known to be an easy place to get into, got an email from the recruitment agency 'sorry your not what we are looking for. My 3rd interview was for a internship (Jobsbridge) and i didnt get that either.

I have applyed for many jobsbridge jobs and simple waiting/retail service jobs and the companys didnt even get back to me. I must be ugly too because one of the places looked for a photo too lol.

Life is tough but being unlucky at interviews are so morale damaging.

On the interview front, i have a feeling i didnt get the supermarket job because i failed the apitute test. I feel i failed in the call centre job because i was asked 'In three words say what your current employer says about you? and i could only think of 2 (I have dyslexia so big hard words are difficult to think off) and i found the question 'name a time you exceeded customer expectations? hard to understand and the internship interview was just too hard and i failed it simply because i had no database experience but are internships not there to teach somebody ?.

I feel like giving up jobs today are all about who you know and not what you know.

my life is not in a good place. Im lucky that i can afford to go to Dublin to matches, concerts etc but despite that i wish i had a girlfriend, a group of friends that i went out drinking with at weekends and that i can look at myself in the mirror and say well done my life is finally complete.

serious feedback needed

cheers

delthedriver

PTH2009 wrote: »

im 23 (24 in a few weeks) and i feel so depressed now that death is closing in

I work part time for the last 5 years but its a job thats not worth doing for a proper living (ie raising a family etc)

I have done many courses in college and my highest qulification is a higher cert.

I have no friends to go out and drink with, i mostly go out alone and try and drink myself silly to try and stop the inner embarrassment of being a loner. Most weekends i stay in and just drink cans and browse boards. I lost my girlfriend and best friend this year due to reasons that none of the 2 will tell me and none of the 2 will talk to me.

I have tried many dating sites and simply nobody is intrested in me (I feel like im not ugly). I cant see myself finding a girlfriend because i drink alone and i dont look like someone that is friendly enough to be approached.

I suffer from very mild aspergers (My ex doesnt know that so if i found out earlier maybe we could of worked around it anyway nothing i can do about that). I feel like a special needs person but im not (I completed secondary and college life with my condition). I always look at people say 'if he can get a girl thans there simply a chance for me'. Im no saint but im a kinder gentler person that some men out there who have girlfriends.

I always suffer from depression after big events eg im going to irelands match next weekend and despite the result i will depressed thats it all over. so a way i manage that is that i always buy concert tickets and match tickets ( id say i have something on eg match, concert every 2-3 months).

The next few weekends are going to be tough , i miss my best friend, i miss all the things i was suppose to be doing with the girlfriend, everyone has work partys and xmas nights out and i have nothing to look forward too in that sense. Im worried about new years eve because i knw im going to be alone and everyone else will be out drinking and celebrating

I have had 3 interviews for new jobs so far this year all have been unsuccessful. The first one was for a supermarket got a letter saying the usual bull crap saying 'oh there was someone better than you'. The 2nd one was for a well known call centre and i had it in my head that yes im suited to this job and that they will hire me because it has been known to be an easy place to get into, got an email from the recruitment agency 'sorry your not what we are looking for. My 3rd interview was for a internship (Jobsbridge) and i didnt get that either.

I have applyed for many jobsbridge jobs and simple waiting/retail service jobs and the companys didnt even get back to me. I must be ugly too because one of the places looked for a photo too lol.

Life is tough but being unlucky at interviews are so morale damaging.

On the interview front, i have a feeling i didnt get the supermarket job because i failed the apitute test. I feel i failed in the call centre job because i was asked 'In three words say what your current employer says about you? and i could only think of 2 (I have dyslexia so big hard words are difficult to think off) and i found the question 'name a time you exceeded customer expectations? hard to understand and the internship interview was just too hard and i failed it simply because i had no database experience but are internships not there to teach somebody ?.

I feel like giving up jobs today are all about who you know and not what you know.

my life is not in a good place. Im lucky that i can afford to go to Dublin to matches, concerts etc but despite that i wish i had a girlfriend, a group of friends that i went out drinking with at weekends and that i can look at myself in the mirror and say well done my life is finally complete.

serious feedback needed

cheers

Ok, the past is the past so leave it behind you.
I recommend speaking with your GP as you appear to be suffering from Depression.You need to take one day at a time and star to rebuild your life. Be kind to yourself. I am glad to see that you are making an effort to set goals for yourself, attending football matches , concerts etc.
Things are much less bleak than they may seem to you. Perhaps your GP may recommend Counselling which is extremely worthwhile.
Please take very good care of yourself. Life is for living! Best Wishes:)

Drumpot

Esel wrote: »

I know you mean well, and your basic advice (that exercise helps to alleviate depression) is good, but you have to realise that simply telling someone who is depressed to exercise is not going to be effective. It is almost analogous to telling them to pull their socks up, when even finding a clean pair of socks could be an insurmountable problem to them.

However, if someone you know is depressed, then certainly encourage them to undertake an exercise program. Offer to go for a walk with them, or to go to the gym or swimming pool. Get them to the local park for a kick-around with a football.

Before that, though, they might appreciate some help to tidy their room / flat / house, and afterwards some company on a visit to the shop or supermarket.

Before that, a caring friend that they can open up to could be just what they need.

I agree completely. I try to speak of my experience of depression and what works for me, instead of saying "you should get more exercise it will help", I say "I got more exercise and it helped". Instead of saying "you should try CBT", I say "I am actively doing CBT". Its a small thing, but I know when I am feeling down I hate when people give me advice. . .

There are plenty of things that will make me feel better at different times (sex, sweet things, junk food, exercise, money, friends, family) when I am feeling down, but none of them will "fix" my depression. It might only give me momentary respite until my next bout comes back.

As such, I try to be mindfull of my moods (good or bad) and how I react to different situations. The only person who can learn this is me. No amount of love from others can be a substitute for me learning to be comfortable with myself.

As you said, I am happy with the small victories - cleaning garden, bedroom, changing my wifes punctured tyre (no jokes !) . . Simple things that others take for granted . .

Also, read somebody mention the old "sure what have we got to be depressed about, look at the people in (insert most recent tragicly hit country)", which is the biggest pile of ignorant sh*t a person could ever say to somebody with depression. Sure why feel sorry for somebody who has only lost both their arms and legs, they could be paralysed , sure why feel sorry for somebody who is paralysed, they could have cancer and be slowing dieing . Sure why feel sorry for anybody alive in any circumstance, they could be dead! Blah blah blah . .

People who say something on the lines of "sure what have you got to be depressed about" have absolutely no clue about this condition and are simply clueless to how devastating it can be to a persons life. if life was so simple then everybody with a house, kids, car and a job would feel the exact same way, do the exact same things, eat the exact same things and have nothing different to talk about. But humans are not robots and we are not all wired the same way. I might get upset about something that doesn't bother my wife and vice versa.

Drumpot

delthedriver wrote: »

Ok, the past is the past so leave it behind you.
I recommend speaking with your GP as you appear to be suffering from Depression.You need to take one day at a time and star to rebuild your life. Be kind to yourself. I am glad to see that you are making an effort to set goals for yourself, attending football matches , concerts etc.
Things are much less bleak than they may seem to you. Perhaps your GP may recommend Counselling which is extremely worthwhile.
Please take very good care of yourself. Life is for living! Best Wishes:)

I am not the person who I hate to remember from the past.

I am not the person who I fear I might be in the future.

I am the person I am today, right now.

I will try to define, understand and love myself by my actions going forward each day, not the actions I fear from past and potential future . .

delthedriver

Drumpot wrote: »

I am not the person who I hate to remember from the past.

I am not the person who I fear I might be in the future.

I am the person I am today, right now.

I will try to define, understand and love myself by my actions going forward each day, not the actions I fear from past and potential future . .

Well said!:)