LETS ALL LAUGH AT PEOPLE WITH DEPRESSION!!

DeVore

URGENT

Does anyone know a depression-friendly female GP doctor on the southside??

Thanks! PM me if you want to write in confidence.

Gongoozler

Well said Drumpot. Have problems letting go of my own past mistakes, and tend to remind myself of them daily. I know it's no use, but I suppose it's hard to let go when you really regret them. How can you move on...

glass_onion

Gongoozler wrote: »

Have problems letting go of my own past mistakes, and tend to remind myself of them daily. I know it's no use, but I suppose it's hard to let go when you really regret them. How can you move on...

I am guilty of this at times too.I can over think and over think.I guess i look at it this way.We all make mistakes,nobody is perfect.I think we make mistakes at times because our judgement at the time makes us think it is a good choice.Then of course,time goes on and we ask ourselves why did i do that.I think,we can learn from our mistakes,we get something out of it.A lesson to not to do it again.We can't change our outlook on life in the past,but we could,or can try change it for the present.

hope that helps.

Drumpot

Gongoozler wrote: »

Well said Drumpot. Have problems letting go of my own past mistakes, and tend to remind myself of them daily. I know it's no use, but I suppose it's hard to let go when you really regret them. How can you move on...

I don't see that I have necessarily "moved on" from what happened in the past, more I am learning to live with myself now . .

It might sound the same, but from my perspective they are completely different. I cant change what has happened in the past, but I can try to learn to live with how I deal with these thoughts. A thought is only as real as I choose to make it.

I went to a close confident earlier because I felt a bit anxious. We talked a little and we came to the realisation that I am anxious because things are going well for me right now. Work is going well, my relationship with my wife/children has never been better, old relationships with family are slowly repairing and things that used to drive me mad are slowly taking up less and less of my time.

In short, I am not used to things "going well" consistently for me. A good friend of mine has asked me what my "secret" is because he suffers his own depression. There is no secret. Everything that I have done has been written down here but what I can see so much clearer then I ever did is that if anybody here is like me the solution is most definitely inside of you.

I used to think of the word delusion as something only other people had, but realised that the biggest delusion was the one I used to suffer. The delusion that the world was as horrible a place in real life that it was in my head. The delusion that the things that happened to me in the past were things that made me a bad person. The delusion that things I thought about or thought might happen made me a horrible person. For example, I would think "Jesus, I know I could easily be a prick in that situation" and automatically assume that it means I am a prick. .

The hardest thing about coming to this realisation was that in my case, most of my depression was me just hurting myself. It didn't matter if I had good reason to be depressed , it only mattered that I allowed myself to cry alone, to feel alone, to hurt alone and think that this was the way the world works!

The truth is that its not who I am inside that's important, its what I do that defines me. Instead of lamenting the life I wish I had, I keep things simple, have a great support network of friends/professionals/family whom I regularly confide in no matter how silly something sounds in my head. .

I am lucky. Where once I was blind, now I can see . . The ONLY thing that has changed over the last few years has been my mindset. I could not of gotten to a place of peace without help from other people, of that I have no doubt. It was so hard to talk to people because at the start I was an emotional bag of stress and probobley wasn't even saying what I wanted to (and sounded incoherent). Some people also didn't take me seriously which really knocked me back. .

All I can say to people coming on here, when you read posts from me or others I can tell you without doubt that my life is nowhere near perfect. I am nowhere near perfect, but I know that's ok now. I think crazy things at times which is ok, but I try to be the best person I can which is enough for now. I consistently try to improve and to be frank, while I am not particularly religious I am finding a sense of peace living a life consistently trying to do the right thing and by extension feel a bit closer to something that may or may not be god. I don't really care, all I can say is that in moments of peace/serenity I just presume that's some god reminding me that everything will be ok . .

I had a job interview recently so spent a few days trying to get into the right frame of mind. Had to feign confidence in order to try and sell myself. Overall it could have been worse but I'm kicking myself over a few faux-pas I made. I hadn't expected to get as far as the interview stage, so I guess I already surpassed my own expectations. But even though I beat hundreds of other applicants by getting as far as the interview stage, it's no consolation. Not getting the job will feel like a failure. And since I was up against people with lots more experience than me I'm really not optimistic about my chances at all.

I've spoken before about how much weight I put on academic achievement and success and it's something that keeps holding me back but I still can't get over it. Being good in school was my thing, the only thing that made me stand out from my peers, and then it all went to shít once I got to university. There's no point in telling me that finishing my undergrad and getting onto a Masters is a great achievement; it's almost like I feel like a failure for not having a 600 point Leaving Cert, a PhD, a Nobel Prize, a Fields Medal, a Pulitzer Prize, an Olympic Medal, a Grammy award or anything else! Hell, I sometimes find it difficult to listen to music, watch TV or read a book - three things I love - because instead of getting comfort from those things I think "this musician/actor/writer has talent....why don't you have any?" :rolleyes: I mean, it's one thing to have unrealistic expectations of oneself but when I see others around me getting 1st class degrees, Masters with distinctions and going onto PhDs I can't help but think "why not me? Why am I not able for this? Why have they been successful where I haven't? Are they smarter than me? Am I just an idiot?" etc.

It's been difficult enough accepting that academia's not for me (at least not since Leaving Cert), but I'll be 24 soon and can't figure out any sort of plan B. I know people will say "my whole life's ahead of me" but is life even worth living if I can't figure out what makes me happy or what I'm good at? It's gotten to the point where I struggle to be happy for friends and their success because I just feel bitter about not having what they have and punish myself for not being as successful as them.

And it also feels like I keep writing the same post over and over again on here but I just don't have any other outlet right now, and even though people have given me some great advice on here I can never translate it into making any sort of productive changes. I guess I'm too self-defeating in that I just think "oh why bother trying to get better? It won't work and then you'll just feel worse for having tried and failed." I'm on a waiting list for CBT but that could take forever.

Doris300

PTH2009 wrote: »

im 23 (24 in a few weeks) and i feel so depressed now that death is closing in

I work part time for the last 5 years but its a job thats not worth doing for a proper living (ie raising a family etc)

I have done many courses in college and my highest qulification is a higher cert.

I have no friends to go out and drink with, i mostly go out alone and try and drink myself silly to try and stop the inner embarrassment of being a loner. Most weekends i stay in and just drink cans and browse boards. I lost my girlfriend and best friend this year due to reasons that none of the 2 will tell me and none of the 2 will talk to me.

I have tried many dating sites and simply nobody is intrested in me (I feel like im not ugly). I cant see myself finding a girlfriend because i drink alone and i dont look like someone that is friendly enough to be approached.

I suffer from very mild aspergers (My ex doesnt know that so if i found out earlier maybe we could of worked around it anyway nothing i can do about that). I feel like a special needs person but im not (I completed secondary and college life with my condition). I always look at people say 'if he can get a girl thans there simply a chance for me'. Im no saint but im a kinder gentler person that some men out there who have girlfriends.

I always suffer from depression after big events eg im going to irelands match next weekend and despite the result i will depressed thats it all over. so a way i manage that is that i always buy concert tickets and match tickets ( id say i have something on eg match, concert every 2-3 months).

The next few weekends are going to be tough , i miss my best friend, i miss all the things i was suppose to be doing with the girlfriend, everyone has work partys and xmas nights out and i have nothing to look forward too in that sense. Im worried about new years eve because i knw im going to be alone and everyone else will be out drinking and celebrating

I have had 3 interviews for new jobs so far this year all have been unsuccessful. The first one was for a supermarket got a letter saying the usual bull crap saying 'oh there was someone better than you'. The 2nd one was for a well known call centre and i had it in my head that yes im suited to this job and that they will hire me because it has been known to be an easy place to get into, got an email from the recruitment agency 'sorry your not what we are looking for. My 3rd interview was for a internship (Jobsbridge) and i didnt get that either.

I have applyed for many jobsbridge jobs and simple waiting/retail service jobs and the companys didnt even get back to me. I must be ugly too because one of the places looked for a photo too lol.

Life is tough but being unlucky at interviews are so morale damaging.

On the interview front, i have a feeling i didnt get the supermarket job because i failed the apitute test. I feel i failed in the call centre job because i was asked 'In three words say what your current employer says about you? and i could only think of 2 (I have dyslexia so big hard words are difficult to think off) and i found the question 'name a time you exceeded customer expectations? hard to understand and the internship interview was just too hard and i failed it simply because i had no database experience but are internships not there to teach somebody ?.

I feel like giving up jobs today are all about who you know and not what you know.

my life is not in a good place. Im lucky that i can afford to go to Dublin to matches, concerts etc but despite that i wish i had a girlfriend, a group of friends that i went out drinking with at weekends and that i can look at myself in the mirror and say well done my life is finally complete.

serious feedback needed

cheers

Perhaps join a club of some sort or maybe start chatting to some old friends from school if that'd be an option.

Also you could join the gym for a better hobby than drinking. It'll make you feel better believe me

Call Me Jimmy

Deleted User wrote: »

I had a job interview recently so spent a few days trying to get into the right frame of mind. Had to feign confidence in order to try and sell myself. Overall it could have been worse but I'm kicking myself over a few faux-pas I made. I hadn't expected to get as far as the interview stage, so I guess I already surpassed my own expectations. But even though I beat hundreds of other applicants by getting as far as the interview stage, it's no consolation. Not getting the job will feel like a failure. And since I was up against people with lots more experience than me I'm really not optimistic about my chances at all.

I've spoken before about how much weight I put on academic achievement and success and it's something that keeps holding me back but I still can't get over it. Being good in school was my thing, the only thing that made me stand out from my peers, and then it all went to shít once I got to university. There's no point in telling me that finishing my undergrad and getting onto a Masters is a great achievement; it's almost like I feel like a failure for not having a 600 point Leaving Cert, a PhD, a Nobel Prize, a Fields Medal, a Pulitzer Prize, an Olympic Medal, a Grammy award or anything else! Hell, I sometimes find it difficult to listen to music, watch TV or read a book - three things I love - because instead of getting comfort from those things I think "this musician/actor/writer has talent....why don't you have any?" :rolleyes: I mean, it's one thing to have unrealistic expectations of oneself but when I see others around me getting 1st class degrees, Masters with distinctions and going onto PhDs I can't help but think "why not me? Why am I not able for this? Why have they been successful where I haven't? Are they smarter than me? Am I just an idiot?" etc.

It's been difficult enough accepting that academia's not for me (at least not since Leaving Cert), but I'll be 24 soon and can't figure out any sort of plan B. I know people will say "my whole life's ahead of me" but is life even worth living if I can't figure out what makes me happy or what I'm good at? It's gotten to the point where I struggle to be happy for friends and their success because I just feel bitter about not having what they have and punish myself for not being as successful as them.

And it also feels like I keep writing the same post over and over again on here but I just don't have any other outlet right now, and even though people have given me some great advice on here I can never translate it into making any sort of productive changes. I guess I'm too self-defeating in that I just think "oh why bother trying to get better? It won't work and then you'll just feel worse for having tried and failed." I'm on a waiting list for CBT but that could take forever.

Hi Homer, again some very similar patterns to my own with the only difference being the content. Your obsession with exceptionalism resonates with me and it is usually why I respond to your posts. So I feel a lot for you and can see my own circular thinking in your posts.

Remember when you thought you had failed your masters, I think? Did that happen? Just curious about that one.

Can I ask genuinely what what you think your day-to-day life would be like after you got a Nobel Prize? Do you not think you would just re-normalise after a while and your life would be the exact same as it is now?

If you in fact got this job, after beating hundreds of applicants and being on a level with your peers (in your eyes) would you not then begin comparing yourself to fellow employees?

Who exactly will give you the recognition that you need? And if they don't recognise you as complete and worthy right now, do you think their opinions are worth striving for an ideal?

Vincent Vega

Wanted to share this with you guys.
Listening to Alan Watts' lectures (this being an excerpt from one of them with added mood music) helped me through some pretty low times, and made me feel a bit less bad about this whole life thing.
I'd like to think this and some of his other thoughts on life could help people put their problems into perspective and perhaps see things in a different light.

Call Me Jimmy

Yea have been listening to a lot of Alan Watts recently, will check it out cheers!

Call Me Jimmy

Call Me Jimmy wrote: »

Hi Homer, again some very similar patterns to my own with the only difference being the content. Your obsession with exceptionalism resonates with me and it is usually why I respond to your posts. So I feel a lot for you and can see my own circular thinking in your posts.

Thanks Jimmy. It's nice to know that I'm not totally alone when it comes to all this (not that I'd wish it on anyone else, obviously)

Remember when you thought you had failed your masters, I think? Did that happen? Just curious about that one.

Technically no, but I haven't passed yet either. They agreed not to formally mark my dissertation (which would have been way short of passing standard as it was) and allow me to redo it at a later date. I'm due to resume in a couple of months and then will have time to produce a dissertation worthy of passing. Unless depression gets me again, of course. *sigh*

Can I ask genuinely what what you think your day-to-day life would be like after you got a Nobel Prize? Do you not think you would just re-normalise after a while and your life would be the exact same as it is now?

Probably but at least I could look at it and say "I achieved this and it was worth achieving. This makes me stand out from my peers". I want to achieve something, be good at something....no, be great at something. If I have to go through life without being a high achiever, I really don't want to go through life at all.

If you in fact got this job, after beating hundreds of applicants and being on a level with your peers (in your eyes) would you not then begin comparing yourself to fellow employees?

Yes, definitely.

Who exactly will give you the recognition that you need? And if they don't recognise you as complete and worthy right now, do you think their opinions are worth striving for an ideal?

People who have already made it, I guess. People who have made a name for themselves as being great at something and think that I could potentially be great too. Problem is, I have zero belief in myself anymore so other people don't believe in me either. But I can't believe in myself unless I KNOW that I can become great at something and achieve high; putting in every single ounce of effort and still not getting that Nobel prize or gold medal would just feel like time completely wasted.

I mean, I could say that I'm better at certain things than others. But I don't compare myself to them. I compare myself to people who are better and then end up falling short. It's easy to think "don't compare yourself to others then" but that would feel like admitting defeat in some way. Could I ever really be happy without having some exceptional achievement? I don't think so. And training myself to combat those expectations feels like it would be more akin to brainwashing than a cure.

Sorry, I'm probably waffling and talking myself in circles here but I just get so frustrated at myself for having so many limitations.

Call Me Jimmy

Yea you are frustrated because you are creating your own limitations. You're going against your nature, you know it's not right and I think you know that your wanting a great achievement is universally flawed. Not only because 'great' is subjective, a great artist might not appreciate a great scientific discovery etc. but because it is a psychological concept that will not make you feel any better.

Having said that I cling to concepts that are no longer possible so I am not saying it to you from above you but right alongside you. For example, I want to be good looking (attractive) but am wholly aware that that is subjective (to a very big extent) and that it doesn't encompass pure physical structure. I know that how one interacts with people and their joy of life is what is truly important and living life joyfully will bring all the same end goals that I say I want from just 'being good-looking' but I feel like I don't want it like that. I want what I want and I want it now.

So I wish I could help you but I would say to question your own thought processes, be more critical and aware of them as pure thought processes. Like don't sometimes you just get so tired of all the constant thoughts that you are overwhelmed and see them all as one big pile of irrelevant noise? I think that's where I'm aiming to get to all the time.

Otis_taylor2

Im in that state where i cannot do anything because of this situation i am in. All i can do is wait in my room(which im fed up of) until a decision is made regarding it. Having tried all options to push myself ahead somehow, every attempt to move ahead just brings you back down again and again.
but i suppose everyone has a choice to change things, to decide their own fate. And that choice is the greatest thing. i can sit here keep thinking of what the decision will be or i can take the next positive step (which i should have a week ago).

Call Me Jimmy

I don't mean to pry but if you take the step don't be passive. Feel like it's your chance and take it as such it will work out a lot better. If you are blocking everything out and don't let it in you will remain the same.

Best of luck with it!

glass_onion

Today is international mens day.Sadly at the moment suicide rates of men are high.i would urge male members who are suffering in silent,please talk to someone you can trust.Help is there.Or seek support via-

1life- 1800 247 100
1life text support-Text word "help" to 51444 *standard text rates apply

Samaritans-1850 60 90 90
Samaritans text support- 087 260 90 90 *standard text rates apply

Aware-www.aware.ie
Turn2me-www.turn2me.org

Wattle

Deleted User wrote: »

Thanks Jimmy. It's nice to know that I'm not totally alone when it comes to all this (not that I'd wish it on anyone else, obviously)



Technically no, but I haven't passed yet either. They agreed not to formally mark my dissertation (which would have been way short of passing standard as it was) and allow me to redo it at a later date. I'm due to resume in a couple of months and then will have time to produce a dissertation worthy of passing. Unless depression gets me again, of course. *sigh*


Probably but at least I could look at it and say "I achieved this and it was worth achieving. This makes me stand out from my peers". I want to achieve something, be good at something....no, be great at something. If I have to go through life without being a high achiever, I really don't want to go through life at all.


Yes, definitely.



People who have already made it, I guess. People who have made a name for themselves as being great at something and think that I could potentially be great too. Problem is, I have zero belief in myself anymore so other people don't believe in me either. But I can't believe in myself unless I KNOW that I can become great at something and achieve high; putting in every single ounce of effort and still not getting that Nobel prize or gold medal would just feel like time completely wasted.

I mean, I could say that I'm better at certain things than others. But I don't compare myself to them. I compare myself to people who are better and then end up falling short. It's easy to think "don't compare yourself to others then" but that would feel like admitting defeat in some way. Could I ever really be happy without having some exceptional achievement? I don't think so. And training myself to combat those expectations feels like it would be more akin to brainwashing than a cure.

Sorry, I'm probably waffling and talking myself in circles here but I just get so frustrated at myself for having so many limitations.

You're really setting yourself up for a fall thinking this way. I'm prone to being a perfectionist so I recognise this kind of thinking. The way us depressives think is very black and white. In our own minds we're either brilliant at something or we totally fail. Who says we have to be exceptional? Even if you're just good or even very good at something you are making a positive contribution. Other people will appreciate our efforts and we don't have to collapse into a trough of total despondency where we're not any use to anybody. I'm not saying don't give it your wholehearted effort but we need a middle ground that is realistic and that keeps us functioning. Being exceptional can wait.

Gleeso_Finglas

Hi I am new to this forum.

I have suffered with depression for the last 8 years, it hit me after a horrible break up. I kept blaming my depression on our relation ship one minute I wanted her the next i didnt so we were on and off for a few years. I went through the mill with everything...hypnotherapy....counselling...psychotherapy and and medication. My parnter has always stood by me and has been my rock no matter how horrible i was when i felt down. I have gone a whole 12 months without and incident but recently i had my appendix out and booom it has hit me very bad.

I have no energy so i have to forcefeed myself, i wake up shaking with anxiety and my dreams are disturbingly bizzare. Its horrible i wouldnt wish it on my worst enemy i literally feel like a child at times and im 29. Usually i pull through this but this time im finding it so hard and i am frightend. I rang the psychiatrist that I saw in ST Pats hospital and because i have not been there in 12 months It will cost over €150 which is putting me off.

I have all the support from family, a good steady job I ham very lucky to have what i have but yet it feels this black cloud wants to destroy me.

I am so glad i found this forum I hope it can help.

STAY STRONG EVERYONE.

Call Me Jimmy

Feeling very similar myself. First time I've got out of bed today and only because my dad woke me (not knowing I was in bed). I've been in bed and the mirror 100% the last couple of days, I finally gave up on the mirror last night so just bed. I've been having some very disturbing dreams also, one which I woke up from I felt horrible.

I feel so cold and alone that I may as well be floating in space. Mini panic attack after watching a disturbing movie at the weekend. A general childhood regression at times. I feel like I'm two inches from the wall staring at it with nothing left but to look at it. I feel like dirt, although dirt is more innocent than me so less than than dirt.

Can't bare to around anyone, looked at by anyone. No compulsion to leave my room. No hope at all. Just sleep sleep and more sleep. Each time I wake up it's a genuine sinking feeling that I get rid of by saying 'ok just go back to sleep and get away'.

glass_onion

Call Me Jimmy wrote: »

Can't bare to around anyone, looked at by anyone. No compulsion to leave my room. No hope at all. Just sleep sleep and more sleep. Each time I wake up it's a genuine sinking feeling that I get rid of by saying 'ok just go back to sleep and get away'.

if you can.try get up.and go for a walk,walk to park or somewhere.you don't have to be around people.or even put something on tv.it's all an distraction.i know over thinking can weigh down the misery.sometimes,it's good to try forget problems for a while.we have problems,time can sometimes solve them. .

Gleeso_Finglas

is there anyone here i can talk to? i see there have been no posts since 2011?

picaaf

Gleeso_Finglas wrote: »

is there anyone here i can talk to? i see there have been no posts since 2011?

Hey, sure! There are plenty people here, all of them listening.
Just start talking to get things of your chest.
p.s. last update was only yesterday:)

Gleeso_Finglas

Call Me Jimmy wrote: »

Feeling very similar myself. First time I've got out of bed today and only because my dad woke me (not knowing I was in bed). I've been in bed and the mirror 100% the last couple of days, I finally gave up on the mirror last night so just bed. I've been having some very disturbing dreams also, one which I woke up from I felt horrible.

I feel so cold and alone that I may as well be floating in space. Mini panic attack after watching a disturbing movie at the weekend. A general childhood regression at times. I feel like I'm two inches from the wall staring at it with nothing left but to look at it. I feel like dirt, although dirt is more innocent than me so less than than dirt.

Can't bare to around anyone, looked at by anyone. No compulsion to leave my room. No hope at all. Just sleep sleep and more sleep. Each time I wake up it's a genuine sinking feeling that I get rid of by saying 'ok just go back to sleep and get away'.

Jimmy im the very same myself today, i am now back on sleeping tablets to help me get through the night, usually i forcefeed myself and force myself to work but this morning i couldnt i woke up took a sleeping tablet and went back to bed until the girlfriend came in and dragged me out of bed. its the most horrible feeling and i wouldnt wish it on my worst enemy. i am on lexapro 20mg and i have tried councelling and psychotherapy. it helped at the start but it got to a point where we talked about everything and went through everything but i still couldnt cope and i have been grand for the last 12 months but "its back" and it has completley taken over me.

I am lucky that i have a great family and my fiance is the most supporting girl in the world. She has sacrafised her life for me we do need to sent her 9 year old son some nights to stay in the grand parents but he asked alot of questions so i sat with him last night and gave him a waterd down version of my illness and he is great about it.

I decided today that i will go back to the dean clinic in donaghmede after 12 months and see what i can do i thought i had a hold on this but i was wrong maybe i need to change my meds, i tend to listen to mindfulness and relaxation on you tube etc so i need to see what the next step is even if it will cost me a fortune. I cant keep living this way. I thought i had a hold on this....how wrong was i?

Gleeso_Finglas

picaaf wrote: »

Hey, sure! There are plenty people here, all of them listening.
Just start talking to get things of your chest.
p.s. last update was only yesterday:)

soryy piccaf i got confused with your joined date i thought it was last date someone posted. my bad....i blame my brain state.:(

JupiterKid

My anxiety has been pretty bad the past week or so. Just thinking of
things in general is stressing me out so I'm trying to take things one day, even one hour, at a time. I've had feelings of despair at times but I know that
I can weather this storm.

I just have to keep things in the now to stop the anxiety from consuming me.

DeVore

JupiterKid... you are bang on.

KNOW that you can weather the storm and KNOW that its not real, its a powerful illusion, but its not real. Stay in the now. You are really bang on the money.

Gleeso, good luck, we all go through rough patches but that doesnt mean you dont have a good working knowledge of your mind. It sounds like you DO have a hold on things because you recognise the need for help. God knows thats a lot better than I often manage!
We're all here, we all have good and bad weeks/months but we'll get through them.

This may seem like an odd question but I was wondering if any of you guys ever feel guilty (for want of a better word) when you have a good day or when you're in a good mood? There are days when everything seems to go smoothly enough for me and afterwards, when I drift back to negative thinking, the thought processes in my mind are along the lines of "why weren't you more depressed today? Is there anything actually wrong with you at all? Have you been faking feeling depressed all this time? Are you just a liar as well as a failure?" etc. I have a similar hang-up when it comes to the issue of self-harming; it's something I've often thought about and attempted once or twice, because I just felt like it was "the done thing", even though I know it's not something that should be desirable or aspired to in any way. But again my thought processes were like "why can't you cut yourself? Are you that weak that you can't even handle a little physical pain? There's no way you could possibly be depressed unless you have a scar to prove it, you're just pathetic" etc. I have found myself hitting/punching myself on occasions but never really hard enough to leave any sort of mark or bruise.

Depression and anxiety are undoubtedly horrible experiences for everyone but deep down there's a part of me that thinks "this is not enough". I should be thankful that I've never been diagnosed with bipolar disorder, borderline personality disorder, schizophrenia or any other mental condition....but part of me thinks that without some other diagnosis that "feels stronger than depression/anxiety" (for want of a better phrase), I'm just a chancer who's making excuses for everything. I guess it ties in with my perfectionistic thinking that I often post about, how I believe that if I'm not brilliant at something then I'm automatically a failure - if I don't have anything more serious than "just" depression/anxiety then I really have nothing wrong with me at all and thus have no reason for failing at things that my depression and anxiety did get in the way of.

I hope I'm making sense here. Just wondering if anyone has had similar thoughts, feelings of guilt or self-doubt about how serious their condition was?

DeVore

Homer, I can totally relate to that. On good days, especially lately when I am doing well I can even read this thread and think of myself as a fake and a fraud compared to people here. Thats when I realise maybe it isn't as good a day as I had thought! So yeah, I can understand what you are saying. Here's the thing though, theres no hierarchy of pain. Everyone's pain is harsh to them... Don't try to rate yours or compare it, its not like Top Trumps :-) And hey, be gentle with yourself, cos you are being nasty to someone I like! :-)

I feel like I want to cry and have no idea why that is.

glass_onion

it's ok to feel like that.if there is anything on your mind,post away .

That's the thing - I've no idea why I feel this way on this occasion.

I was doing great for quite a while, but around the start of October I started going down again due to a few issues in my life at the time; one of which resulted in a panic attack in mid September. Things improved in the last couple of weeks but suddenly today I've felt rough again.

picaaf

Karsini wrote: »

I feel like I want to cry and have no idea why that is.

It's okay to cry. Crying was 'invented' to let emotions out. Just cry, even if you don't know why.