LETS ALL LAUGH AT PEOPLE WITH DEPRESSION!!

Reiketsu

Over the past week or so I've had both my parents breathing down my neck. My dad keeps going on about the "state of the house", to which I told him to mind his own. I see clean floors, no dishes, no rubbish. A bit of clutter, yes, but honestly it just feels like the least of my worries at the moment. Having him harp on at me is driving me mad, I just want to be left alone. No amount of complaining is going to make me "snap out of it" . It'll be done when it's done, that'll be a day when I feel good and don't want to hide under the duvet/on the sofa with a blanket and the blinds closed. I'm more concerned about my lack of food, money and heat than a bit of a mess. It's so stressful and I can't get a job for love nor money, I've honestly been trying really hard and can even back that up with emails confirming my applications but my mum said if I wanted one badly enough I would have one by now. I don't feel very supported at the minute tbh.

Even when I worked I suffered panic attacks, but being out and earning, as well as just being around people outweighed that. Sure, I didn't feel great but it gave me something to focus on. Also recently I have been visiting my daughter's school a lot to meet with her teacher. She won't concentrate on her school work, she really struggles with it. She's about two years behind her class at the moment (she's 7). I have extra work I do with her at home on top of her homework, mostly reading. If she can't do it she screams and cries and my depression makes it so hard to have patience for it. She has seen so many people at school for assessments etc and we are no further forward.

Sorry for the rant, just wanted to get out what's on my mind. Gonna get that shower that I've been delaying for hours now. Sounds like a huge amount of effort.

looking_around

Reiketsu wrote: »

my mum said if I wanted one badly enough I would have one by now. I don't feel very supported at the minute tbh.

That's harsh, the whole country is struggling job wise. The jobs that are available have thousands of applications to them.
Do you live with your parents? You might be better off going on the council list and moving out? Or maybe apply for back to school allowance, rather than looking for work? Maybe some FAS courses, just so you're doing something?

My da is awful for pushing how own problems on to me.
Like, he's finding it hard to get work, and if I comment on what he says, he'll start harping on, on how I should be working already. And that I'm lazy..and depression..whats that.
I find it best to walk away at times like this. If it's over the phone I hang up, If he comes for a visit. I simply say. I'm not talking about that now. If he continues, I walk away.
It's a bit of hassle, but I have my own sh!t deal with, I don't need him to make me feel worse about it.

I have extra work I do with her at home on top of her homework, mostly reading. If she can't do it she screams and cries and my depression makes it so hard to have patience for it. She has seen so many people at school for assessments etc and we are no further forward. .

Sounds like she's really trying. Has she ever stayed behind? Like repeat a year? It might be best, if she hasn't got a grounding, learning new stuff is just going to be an extra struggle for her.

Is there anyone who could help with teaching her in the evenings? So that if you find yourself irritable you won't feel strained trying to stay patient. If a friend or family could help with home lessons for her. It'd be good. It might also give her a new way of thinking/seeing things. As people teach differently.

Chiquitita

Mind is in overdrive. Jesus why cant I get some calmness!

Call Me Jimmy

Out of interest what do you do to help calm your mind?

Chiquitita

I've started on prozac last tuesday so maybe that will work. Ive also been prescribed xanax .25 for the evenings.

I'm going for an appointment in pieta at 2 so that's a distraction, other than that my mind just goes over and over and over. Tried youtube meditation, breathing all the things but I suppose im just so raw and worked up at the minute that I havent the attention span or something

Call Me Jimmy

What has you so raw and worked up, is it something in particular? You don't have to say what it is but is it something that is resolvable?

Chiquitita

Thank you

Im ruminating over the same things. Afraid to say what they are because i'm afraid to see what replied people will give because I havent started coming to terms with these feelings yet. Does that make any sense? :S

I've just let this go too far and now im overthinking absolutely everything. SHUT UP MIND!

looking_around

Chiquitita wrote: »

Thank you

Im ruminating over the same things. Afraid to say what they are because i'm afraid to see what replied people will give because I havent started coming to terms with these feelings yet. Does that make any sense? :S

I've just let this go too far and now im overthinking absolutely everything. SHUT UP MIND!

There's a range of people here, who have struggled through all sorts. I think you'll mostly get understanding replies. People here don't want to make you feel worse only help.

Do you have a diary?
I find writing(or typing) the things going through my mind constantly a good way to stop them, saying them to someone also helps, normally 2 or 3 people as that really helps to get different perspectives.

I over think everything. I can't stress talking or writing about it enough!

Sign up for a counsellor, or see a local psych. nurse. They can be very very helpful. Willing to listen to you, whenever you need. I knew someone who saw her nurse daily for awhile. It gives you someone to talk to, someone who is unbiased/not involved in your personal life. (unlike family for example, I don't like talking to family).

leinsterdude

Hi, been meds myself, two years now, kinda always had a hint of depression, but issues in life got me down, had a death of a parent and a new child, pushed me to get really under pressure, and got me down, went on the meds which were very good, lexapro, but it takes a good month or more, however every time I try to reduce them the blues kick in, so three weeks ago started CBT therapy, have to say this is far better than meds ever were, so I suggest if your on meds stick on them, but plan therapy to see why your mind is racing, will be very good for you as you will get to understand yourself very well, learn how to manage the sad you, and enjoy the good you, good luck all.

Chiquitita

Thanks lookingaround, your support and kind words mean a lot. Maybe some day i'll post about where my anxiety stems from, I find this very comforting.

Saw my therapist in pieta today, went very well, such lovely people, exhausted after it but thats good news...hopefully i'll sleep tonight!

Hope everyone is feeling ok today, if you feel ****...type it out...

I have a cat and a dog, dogs dont generally like cats (to say thats the case here is an understatement) BUT the cat cuddled up to the dog and gave him a little kiss...and he didnt bite her head off...progress here on the kitchen floor... :pac:

Reiketsu

Thanks looking. I live away from my parents with my daughter. I personally suspect that my daughter has dyslexia, but then I'm not a professional. Her dad has it and it can be hereditary. I'm going to have to try and find out ways of teaching her, my method isn't working :O.

I went to see my doctor today and he isn't happy with my progress and wants me to see a councillor. I don't even know what I would say to them, I've told my doctor everything can think of. Not feeling too confident right now. At the start my meds seem to be doing the job but not anymore.

looking_around

Reiketsu wrote: »

Thanks looking. I live away from my parents with my daughter. I personally suspect that my daughter has dyslexia, but then I'm not a professional. Her dad has it and it can be hereditary. I'm going to have to try and find out ways of teaching her, my method isn't working :O.

I went to see my doctor today and he isn't happy with my progress and wants me to see a councillor. I don't even know what I would say to them, I've told my doctor everything can think of. Not feeling too confident right now. At the start my meds seem to be doing the job but not anymore.

You tell your counsellor everything that crosses your mind.
_
It shouldn't be that hard to find out if she has dyslexia, in generally a very simple test. (Is she mixing up the same things? Say like i's & e's, or 6 & 9's, there's generally a pattern)
If you suspect it though, some of these might help.
More spacing between sentences in the books she reads, encourage follow by finger, phonetically spelling words.
And try placing a transparent coloured sheet over whatever she's reading. Often red in colour. Sometimes it works quite well.

These are a few things that can help. There are mental exercise she can learn that will help her with whatever specific problems she has, but you'd need to get her tested to find out what those are first.

(My mother has dyslexia, their are tricks one can learn to help.
Though there will always some things that stay problematic. Like spelling. Or Mixing up numbers. Hence the 10% allowance in English exams and a similar allowance in maths for students with dyslexia, later on.)

It can take about a year waiting list to get her tested for free. (Unless she's a trouble student, then it would take a couple of months.)
_
Anyway, back to you.
A counsellor is just a tool that you use to figure your life out. You talk to them, and say whatever you're struggling with. They won't judge you. And they can be alot of help, giving a clear, unbiased perspective. Which can be refreshing.

efb

Hey guys hope alls looking better.

Chiquitita

Mornings are by far the worst for me, sheer panic.

Is anyone else like this? Even said to myself last night not to take my xanax until morning cause i knew id need it, but i did, and now i need it!

! sheep 2 sheep...please help me go back to sleep

lukesmom

Chiquitita wrote: »

Mornings are by far the worst for me, sheer panic.

Is anyone else like this? Even said to myself last night not to take my xanax until morning cause i knew id need it, but i did, and now i need it!

! sheep 2 sheep...please help me go back to sleep

Absolutely mornings are the worst time for me by a mile also, can you not take a xanax now too? I have some pink ones here on standby

Maximus Alexander

I'm the total opposite - even though I'm not a morning person at all, in terms of depression I'm usually fine in the morning. I tend to take a mental nose-dive at around 7/8pm and then I dread going to bed.

lukesmom

Maximus Alexander wrote: »

I'm the total opposite - even though I'm not a morning person at all, in terms of depression I'm usually fine in the morning. I tend to take a mental nose-dive at around 7/8pm and then I dread going to bed.

Completer opposite to me yes.thoughts of facing the long day with anxiety is awful but at least I can switch off at night

Chiquitita

My doctor said to take them in the evenings, and if I take today's now i'll have none for later. Actually do you know what, im going to take it anyway, not willing to suffer like this again for hours on end.

Thanks again for your support x

Chiquitita

Isn't it gas the way different people experience it differently.

I think the last few days im so exhausted from crying and panicking and worrying and thinking that the evenings aren't bad.

My thinking is in overdrive in the mornings!

Reiketsu

I barely slept last night and I'm dying for more sleep now the wee woman is away to school. I'm waiting on a parcel though and worried I won't hear the door.

Mornings are usually okay for me too even though I hate them. For some reason though if it's a morning I know I have stuff to do that involves leaving the house I get so grumpy. Evenings are.my worst time, too much time to think I suppose.

Chiquitita

Hope this morning is going ok for you, the parcel is something to look forward to

The evenings are bad for a lot of people, in fact they just stink. These bad days stink altogether really dont they? Haha.

My therapist in Pieta was trying to get me to do breathing exercises yesterday, needless to say I couldnt do them as I was crying so much but this morning I tried them again and it wasnt so bad.

What do you do in the evenings when the feelings kick in reik?

Reiketsu

Usually fairly late on, say from around 10pm or so. I'm constantly doing wee things to keep myself occupied, like puzzles, but when I get tired of that then my mood will take a nosedive as I start thinking about stuff. I feel fairly isolated at times, I'm a people person for the most part unless I'm feeling particularly bad. Loneliness is probably the worst part for me. Then other days I won't even answer the phone.

Chiquitita

Do you like writing things here? If so, keep doing it

If the puzzles are working that's also great, I find it comforting that people can find something to distract themselves. When the puzzles stop distracting you, try your best to think of something else. I can't at the minute because im in the middle of whatever this sh*tty infliction is, but typing here is good.

It absolutely breaks my heart to see what this is doing to my parents, I love them so much. If you could do me a favour, will ye say a little prayer for them or something.

lukesmom

Chiquitita wrote: »

Do you like writing things here? If so, keep doing it

If the puzzles are working that's also great, I find it comforting that people can find something to distract themselves. When the puzzles stop distracting you, try your best to think of something else. I can't at the minute because im in the middle of whatever this sh*tty infliction is, but typing here is good.

It absolutely breaks my heart to see what this is doing to my parents, I love them so much. If you could do me a favour, will ye say a little prayer for them or something.

I'll say a prayer for them and for all who grace this page x

Chiquitita

Thank you

How's everyone this evening? x

Maximus Alexander

Ugh... it's that time of the day. I can feel it there, lurking at the periphery.

MadYaker

Theres good TV in the evenings. Maybe watch a movie or something?

Maximus Alexander

Yeah I normally do that with my better half, we're on Love / Hate at the moment. She's at a class at the moment though so I can't watch it without her or I'll be killed.

I think I'll get stuck into some C++ programming to distract myself.

Chiquitita

Pacman online? I try that sometimes.

Something ive been getting relief from since this kicked off is coke with loads of ice. It brings me back to the present or something, I have really sensitive teeth and it buzzes me into reality... strange yes

looking_around

Chiquitita wrote: »

Pacman online? I try that sometimes.

Something ive been getting relief from since this kicked off is coke with loads of ice. It brings me back to the present or something, I have really sensitive teeth and it buzzes me into reality... strange yes

No, it's a sharp sensation.
A tactic normally used for those who struggle with dissociation or flash backs. Others are squeezing a rock and thinking about the textures or biting through a chile/ginger ..:eek: