LETS ALL LAUGH AT PEOPLE WITH DEPRESSION!!

Drumpot

Call Me Jimmy wrote: »

In a sense Drumpot, would you say that your parents are right (probably not the best way to put it). CBT is a model for altering thinking processes, your parents said it's all in your mind. CBT agrees.

I'm not saying they weren't hurtful to you in the contexts in which they would say it, but, for you, isn't it all in the mind?

I hope that isn't offensive to you. For me, I realised everything I though about, negatively and positively, were me trying to distract myself from the pain. So when I used to think negatively about my parents, things they were doing wrong, things they didn't understand I finally asked myself why I am even bothered thinking about these? And I saw that I was avoiding thinking about myself or accepting my situation, how I was doing things wrong, or how bad it really felt. So often instead of thinking 'This is terrible, I feel so overwhelmed and frustrated' I would substitute in intersesting theories and fantasies about other people and their faults.

I agree.

Lets look at it from both perspectives. My parents lack the education (mean this in the nicest way possible) to deal with mental health issues that I have had because in short, nobody ever thought them how to deal with specific emotional issues when they were growing up. They were told "snap out of it" and like most people they pass on what they have learned and deal with a situation the only way they know.

Likewise, I was dealing with my pain the only way I knew how, which was by focusing on everything I thought was the problem. I felt like my parents were a part of the problem as they weren't supporting me in the manner I imagined they should.

Its important to note that in both cases neither my parents nor I had the tools (emotional) to properly communicate and work together to help me out of the rut. In the absence of knowledge my parents get fed up and I get more angry at them.

What I realised is that I cannot control what other people (parents included) think or do all of the time. But I can learn to control how I feel about things and how I react to certain situations.

Life is by no means a piece of piss by any stretch of the imagination, but I can deal with situations now that used to have me lying in bed just wanting the pain to go away.

DeVore

On Exercise:

Exercise isnt a panacea for everyone but I do believe it has a beneficial effect for most people for several reasons!

1. Gets you out. Probably the single most important thing is that it gets you up and out and thinking about something other than yourself and your situation. This is vital.

2. Chemicals baby!! Part of mental health is the physical structure that provides thought and while people THINK that thats all electrical with neurons firing etc.... actually its a chemical system. Weird fact... chemical bonds happen faster than electrical nerve impulses. If your brain wants to communicate between neurons, it happens chemically... not electrically.
As a result of this, chemistry in the brain is key. Exercise provides a nice wash of all the various brain chemistry along with blood flow and oxygen. All good stuff.
Shake it to wake it!

3. Focus. Personally I go to a kickboxing gym and get beaten around by a 16 stone gorilla. My mind HAS to be on the exercise or I get a slap in the chops. Forcing me to focus on something to the exclusion of everything else means that the nagging internal monologue has to shut up. It pushes all my concerns and worries out to the fringes and gives me a little holiday from the constant calculations and worries.

4. Physical exhaustion. At the end of the session, the sweat is typically dripping off me. I'm utterly knackered and I just dont have the energy to raise my hands let alone start to worry about anything. There is a wonderful peace that comes with that and at times, I have sat down on a step and just enjoyed the cool breeze on my face and the ache in my muscles. Its cleansing and its wholesome. It also pretty much ensures a good nights sleep

5. Social contact. Nuff said. Sometimes training, running, walking with others is enough. It doesnt have to be a big deep conversation... maybe its better if its NOT. Just enjoy time with people who like the same sport/exercise you do.


The days you DONT want to do it.... those are the days you really NEED to do it. Write that on a sticky and stick it to your door.

mayobumblebee

Drumpot wrote: »

Hi All,

Just checking in . Been reading a lot of whats being written here and just wanted to make some general comments for those to take what they will from it.

In all cases I am soley speaking from my personal experiences and what have worked for me.

CBT - cognitive Behavioural Therapy

If you do not know what this is and/or have never tried it as a solution to your current predicament, you should consider it. Its not for everybody but it worked for me.

One of the most important things for me was that I had gotten to the stage where nothing worked - medication, therapy, exercise. All helped in their own ways and in others had their downsides.

The problem for me, on reflection, has been my thought process and my interpretation of events that happen in my life.

Lets take an example that somebody mentioned is a current issue they have - Parents lack of understanding/empathy about their pain. I can tell you to this day my parents still don't fully understand whats going on with me but unlike when I was at my lowest feelings, it really doesn't upset me anywhere near as much as it used to.

CBT helped me focus on the things that matter and put certain feelings I was having into context.

Not only do my parents not understand me, but they tell me to snap out of it or stop being lazy. They say I have nothing to be upset/depressed about and that its all in my mind.

This used to drive me mad. Not only did I feel like sh*t, but I thought those who were closest to me didn't want to understand or care about how I felt. They looked at me physically and financially and thought I had no reason to feel down.

However, I have learned that feeling like this serves no purpose and more importantly that I had the power to not let this parental pain get to me. I already feel like sh*t. My parents are going to be the way they are whether I get more upset about it or not. So how do I make it that it doesn't annoy me? Well, I am not qualified enough to go into exactly how it works, but its a matter of exercising your brain to react differently to situations that used to baffle or upset me. The kind of trivial things (and not so trivial) that would stop me in my stride and could turn an ok day into a tragedy (a tragedy that was infolding in my head , not physically around me).

One of the key things was participation and training on how to change my thinking. I was very defeatist and thought that this was as good as it got. Sometimes I still get like that but I am much quicker able to get myself out of a black hole. Sometimes the world can seem like the most horrible place to live and at others I nearly tear up at some of the beauty it offers.

Accepting that I was unable to continue to live the way I was living was a first step. Taking the next step took me decades and trust. I started out different things in trying to take back my life. I changed doctor (as what I had tried wasn't working with my previous doctor), I tried councelling (personal/group), tried medication, tried speaking with friends/family. Most of this helped in some way, but no more then I could fix a car without getting some sort of training/tuition, I needed a professional to help guide me to a newer way of thinking and living.

Its amazing because I was so deluded. I thought that if I couldn't fix the problem that existing (literally) in my head that nobody could. If I didn't agree with some sort of advice or alternative method of councelling I would dismiss it without trying. Sort of like a judge/jury/executioner kind of decision making process in my head.

I only begun to make huge progress when I was prepared to make my mental health my number 1 priority and actively did actions to try and find out what might work for me.

I read so many people here speak about if only, which is the way I used to be, but its the kind of self pity that prevented me from focusing on the REAL problem, which was inside me:

• If only I was more financially stable
• If only I had a partner it would be easier to get through this
• If only I had a job I liked, I would be much happier
• If only my family understood it would be easier to deal with how I feel

I am not having a go at anybody. Everybody needs support and having things easier in your life can help, but I found that if I focused on these things at the expense of what I really needed to do (work on my own pain), then I consistently just found myself stuck in a rut.

A victim can be defined as a person harmed as a result of an action. I allowed myself to remain a victim as long as I had reasons (posted above) why I had a right to feel sh*tty. Then when I didn't have a reason to feel sh*tty, I would just blame god, the world or something and feel sorry for myself.

I chose to stop being a victim to my thoughts and every single person who has posted on this thread has the power to do the same. The path to peace/serenity may be different, but with actions and a willingness to accept assistance life can be better. I heard a great saying "you cant heal a sick mind, with a sick mind". In many cases I imagine people are like me and they just lose hope and presume nothing they try will ever change their life.

i have found C.B.T very helpful also started due to post traumatic stress. it can be difficult at times but on the whole very helpful.

steddyeddy

Mindfullness had more of a positive effect on me than anything I tried

mickman

DeVore wrote: »

On Exercise:

Exercise isnt a panacea for everyone but I do believe it has a beneficial effect for most people for several reasons!

1. Gets you out. Probably the single most important thing is that it gets you up and out and thinking about something other than yourself and your situation. This is vital.

2. Chemicals baby!! Part of mental health is the physical structure that provides thought and while people THINK that thats all electrical with neurons firing etc.... actually its a chemical system. Weird fact... chemical bonds happen faster than electrical nerve impulses. If your brain wants to communicate between neurons, it happens chemically... not electrically.
As a result of this, chemistry in the brain is key. Exercise provides a nice wash of all the various brain chemistry along with blood flow and oxygen. All good stuff.
Shake it to wake it!

3. Focus. Personally I go to a kickboxing gym and get beaten around by a 16 stone gorilla. My mind HAS to be on the exercise or I get a slap in the chops. Forcing me to focus on something to the exclusion of everything else means that the nagging internal monologue has to shut up. It pushes all my concerns and worries out to the fringes and gives me a little holiday from the constant calculations and worries.

4. Physical exhaustion. At the end of the session, the sweat is typically dripping off me. I'm utterly knackered and I just dont have the energy to raise my hands let alone start to worry about anything. There is a wonderful peace that comes with that and at times, I have sat down on a step and just enjoyed the cool breeze on my face and the ache in my muscles. Its cleansing and its wholesome. It also pretty much ensures a good nights sleep

5. Social contact. Nuff said. Sometimes training, running, walking with others is enough. It doesnt have to be a big deep conversation... maybe its better if its NOT. Just enjoy time with people who like the same sport/exercise you do.


The days you DONT want to do it.... those are the days you really NEED to do it. Write that on a sticky and stick it to your door.

This is a good post. It has been proven that its IMPOSSIBLE to maintain negative thoughts while exercising

Turtwig

mickman wrote: »

This is a good post. It has been proven that its IMPOSSIBLE to maintain negative thoughts while exercising

Except of course when someone exercising starts using exercise as a means of self flagellation. Or when, well actually they are too numerous to mention. There's no such proof. Exercise and negative thoughts often complement one another. As DeV said it's not a panacea for everyone.

lukesmom

Going to SCREAM have just found out my psychiatrist has moved and im going to have to see a new one for my appointment Wednesday so annoyed and anxious.

She doesn't know me or my history
My own psychiatrist knew me and was going to talk about withdrawing from one of my meds
I wont trust this new one
What am I going to do?
I was in good form until I phoned this morning for a script and found out
I'm fkd now she won't knows my anxieties about meds
I can't breathe properly now
This is awful news
What am I going to do ?

Please help me

LorMal

Drumpot wrote: »

Hi All,

Just checking in . Been reading a lot of whats being written here and just wanted to make some general comments for those to take what they will from it.

In all cases I am soley speaking from my personal experiences and what have worked for me.

CBT - cognitive Behavioural Therapy

If you do not know what this is and/or have never tried it as a solution to your current predicament, you should consider it. Its not for everybody but it worked for me.

One of the most important things for me was that I had gotten to the stage where nothing worked - medication, therapy, exercise. All helped in their own ways and in others had their downsides.

The problem for me, on reflection, has been my thought process and my interpretation of events that happen in my life.

Lets take an example that somebody mentioned is a current issue they have - Parents lack of understanding/empathy about their pain. I can tell you to this day my parents still don't fully understand whats going on with me but unlike when I was at my lowest feelings, it really doesn't upset me anywhere near as much as it used to.

CBT helped me focus on the things that matter and put certain feelings I was having into context.

Not only do my parents not understand me, but they tell me to snap out of it or stop being lazy. They say I have nothing to be upset/depressed about and that its all in my mind.

This used to drive me mad. Not only did I feel like sh*t, but I thought those who were closest to me didn't want to understand or care about how I felt. They looked at me physically and financially and thought I had no reason to feel down.

However, I have learned that feeling like this serves no purpose and more importantly that I had the power to not let this parental pain get to me. I already feel like sh*t. My parents are going to be the way they are whether I get more upset about it or not. So how do I make it that it doesn't annoy me? Well, I am not qualified enough to go into exactly how it works, but its a matter of exercising your brain to react differently to situations that used to baffle or upset me. The kind of trivial things (and not so trivial) that would stop me in my stride and could turn an ok day into a tragedy (a tragedy that was infolding in my head , not physically around me).

One of the key things was participation and training on how to change my thinking. I was very defeatist and thought that this was as good as it got. Sometimes I still get like that but I am much quicker able to get myself out of a black hole. Sometimes the world can seem like the most horrible place to live and at others I nearly tear up at some of the beauty it offers.

Accepting that I was unable to continue to live the way I was living was a first step. Taking the next step took me decades and trust. I started out different things in trying to take back my life. I changed doctor (as what I had tried wasn't working with my previous doctor), I tried councelling (personal/group), tried medication, tried speaking with friends/family. Most of this helped in some way, but no more then I could fix a car without getting some sort of training/tuition, I needed a professional to help guide me to a newer way of thinking and living.

Its amazing because I was so deluded. I thought that if I couldn't fix the problem that existing (literally) in my head that nobody could. If I didn't agree with some sort of advice or alternative method of councelling I would dismiss it without trying. Sort of like a judge/jury/executioner kind of decision making process in my head.

I only begun to make huge progress when I was prepared to make my mental health my number 1 priority and actively did actions to try and find out what might work for me.

I read so many people here speak about if only, which is the way I used to be, but its the kind of self pity that prevented me from focusing on the REAL problem, which was inside me:

• If only I was more financially stable
• If only I had a partner it would be easier to get through this
• If only I had a job I liked, I would be much happier
• If only my family understood it would be easier to deal with how I feel

I am not having a go at anybody. Everybody needs support and having things easier in your life can help, but I found that if I focused on these things at the expense of what I really needed to do (work on my own pain), then I consistently just found myself stuck in a rut.

A victim can be defined as a person harmed as a result of an action. I allowed myself to remain a victim as long as I had reasons (posted above) why I had a right to feel sh*tty. Then when I didn't have a reason to feel sh*tty, I would just blame god, the world or something and feel sorry for myself.

I chose to stop being a victim to my thoughts and every single person who has posted on this thread has the power to do the same. The path to peace/serenity may be different, but with actions and a willingness to accept assistance life can be better. I heard a great saying "you cant heal a sick mind, with a sick mind". In many cases I imagine people are like me and they just lose hope and presume nothing they try will ever change their life.

What a fantastic post. Thanks for taking o much time to put this down - it is very helpful. Can I ask you where you eventually got your CBT and how it was delivered to you (one to one? group? book?)
#Thanks

mickman

Jernal wrote: »

Except of course when someone exercising starts using exercise as a means of self flagellation. Or when, well actually they are too numerous to mention. There's no such proof. Exercise and negative thoughts often complement one another. As DeV said it's not a panacea for everyone.

Thinking like that is not helpful.

Exercise is the one thing that the whole world agrees on , it benefical to everyone.

If you continue thinking "exercise wont benefit me " then it wont

Gleeso_Finglas

lukesmom wrote: »

Going to SCREAM have just found out my psychiatrist has moved and im going to have to see a new one for my appointment Wednesday so annoyed and anxious.

She doesn't know me or my history
My own psychiatrist knew me and was going to talk about withdrawing from one of my meds
I wont trust this new one
What am I going to do?
I was in good form until I phoned this morning for a script and found out
I'm fkd now she won't knows my anxieties about meds
I can't breathe properly now
This is awful news
What am I going to do ?

Please help me

Hey..

This is one of those situations that is outside of your control you cannot change the fact that you will have to see the new psyc doctor but you can change how you look at it ok break it down

:the new psych doc might have your previous docs notes
:the new doc could be even better
:you are not taking a step back but a step to the side while ypu adjust to the new psych doc.
:ok its not ideal but you cant say wont like or be able to adjust to the mew doc straight all this talk of cant will not help and you cannot predict the future all you are doing is planting negative seeds.

I am just speaking from my experience as I had just got used to my psych doc and I was assigned a new one and guess what.... the new one is even better she didnt just focus on meds but put a whole recovery plan in place and has already referred me for cbt for when im back to myself to prevent relapse.

Try be positive all this cant and wont is painting a negative picture in your mind and you will go there believing it will not help. It is not a fact the it will terrible but an opinion. Try go there with the mind of giving this new doc a chance at the end of the day he/she is there to help you.

Ally opinion of course.

Gleeso_Finglas

Sorry about my spelling.

lukesmom

Thanks a lot for that Gleeso you are right I'm just going to have to go in and give her a chance . She might be great. The one I was seeing was there when I came out of that awful place and I suppose I feel vulnerable with a new different psych doc . I go to psychology in the same building and actually have an appointment with him on Tuesday where we will start mindfulness meditation. My mother kind of helped me put things into perspective too today, I am overthinking which is in my nature. I will:

Think positive as you say she might be better.
I'm always of the opinion that things happen for a reason so maybe this change is meant to be. I owe it to myself to give her a chance and keep practising what the psychologist is teaching me.

Once again thanks a million for your reply.

Edited to say yes she will have all my previous notes as it's in the same practise.

Gleeso_Finglas

Yeyyyy great to see your reply u seem a bit more positive and I have heard great things about mindfulness. I listen to it on you tube all the time and it requires alot of patience and practice but I am going to sign up somewhere that do classes as I need help gettingy head around it. Its all here and now and focusing on your breath when ypur mind wonders or when bad thoughts are knocking.

I recommend you sign up for the aware life skills programme. I am half way through it and its excellent so far.

Call Me Jimmy

To add to what Gleeso has said:

The new doctor WILL have all your history from the last doctor.
The new doctor is a professional.
As a professional she will have prepared for your meeting.
This involves, among other things reviewing your case and the progress re:medication.
The new doctor will not come up with any opinions about you as a person.
If your last doctor was considering changes in medication the new doctor will do so too, unless you came into the room screaming, where she would possibly reconsider given new circumstances

Your treatment will continue as it had, information won't be lost but the new doc may ask you to talk about some things so that they can get a better picture.

Nothing to worry about there

lukesmom

Thanks call me jimmy and Gleeso you don't know how much your replies have helped me today x

Gleeso_Finglas

And your posts were very comforting to me over the past months so thank you.

Reiketsu

lukesmom - just want to echo what the others have said . Definitely give this new lady a chance. It's natural to be anxious when changing to someone else you don't know, but it's best to give it a go. She will have your notes and will try to make the transition as smooth for you as possible.

I've been having a good time recently, just rather restless. It can be pretty annoying. However, I have an interview and assessment for a waitress and bar job for a new restaurant that's hoping here. It's on Tuesday evening. Trying not to pin my hopes on it but that would give me such a lift

Esel

^ +1 on the above and Gleeso's post.

mickstupp

I was doing ok until yesterday when someone decided to tell me how I was feeling. Didn't ask. Told. I wasn't actually feeling tense or grumpy or in a bad mood _until_ they said it. I may frown a lot, but I always have, this is nothing new, it doesn't mean I'm in a bad mood, it means I'm concentrating or thinking. It really annoys me when people assume things. It's still bothering me today and it looks like it'll be bothering me for ages. Can't stop obsessing over it. Can't stop having those stupid imaginary conversations where you run through all the things you'd like to say or have said, over and over and over.

lukesmom

I picked up a 5 day script yesterday to do me until I see the new psych on Wednesday. Realised last night that it was missing my mirtazapine/zispin so I had to do without last night. I actually slept well last night considering .

She obviously thought I've stopped the mirtazapine but I had decided not too. So I'm in two minds about what to do here?

Do I stay off them (which she thinks ive done anyway)?
Or do I go to the chemist and explain what has happened and get a couple of days worth off them?

Gleeso_Finglas

The illness is hard enough without somone saying how you look or how you seem.

All the obsesive thoughts and worries you are having have you tried to think of how you are on a good day and what you would say to a family or friend who were having the same thoughts?

Gleeso_Finglas

lukesmom wrote: »

I picked up a 5 day script yesterday to do me until I see the new psych on Wednesday. Realised last night that it was missing my mirtazapine/zispin so I had to do without last night. I actually slept well last night considering .

She obviously thought I've stopped the mirtazapine but I had decided not too. So I'm in two minds about what to do here?

Do I stay off them (which she thinks ive done anyway)?
Or do I go to the chemist and explain what has happened and get a couple of days worth off them?

Hi... by no means stop them cold turkey. Get the few you need and then on wednesday discuss coming off them as you need to ween off them. You tried stopping them cold turkey in the past and after day 2 you were in a bad way. Dont have me to come on here in a few days and say I told you so haha

lukesmom

Gleeso_Finglas wrote: »

Hi... by no means stop them cold turkey. Get the few you need and then on wednesday discuss coming off them as you need to ween off them. You tried stopping them cold turkey in the past and after day 2 you were in a bad way. Dont have me to come on here in a few days and say I told you so haha

Yeah I hear ya! The thing the psych doc said last time is that there isn't much to work with in terms of a withdrawel plan as 15mg is the lowest mg prescribed. You can cut them in half to make 7.5 mg. after day 1 I was in a bad way last time a month ago.

Gleeso_Finglas

Oh I thought u were on the same as me 45mg.

Ok so what withdrawls did you get last time?

lukesmom

Gleeso_Finglas wrote: »

Oh I thought u were on the same as me 45mg.

Ok so what withdrawls did you get last time?

None it was all in my head and I know that. I was thinking too much and making myself sick. Will see how I go for a day or two.

BroD1

Hi has anyone been on effexor xl 75mg slow release? Does it take long to work and can it still make you withdraw from friends. Just not sure if they're wotking and its been over 2 months now.
Thanks

BroD1

Hi has anyone been on effexor xl 75mg slow release? Does it take long to work and can it still make you withdraw from friends. Just not sure if they're wotking and its been over 2 months now.
Thanks

Gleeso_Finglas

BroD1 wrote: »

Hi has anyone been on effexor xl 75mg slow release? Does it take long to work and can it still make you withdraw from friends. Just not sure if they're wotking and its been over 2 months now.
Thanks

Howdey.... im on effexor. For me they around 10 weeks to work so give it a bit longer. The side effects are tough however maybe speak to your doc about maybe increasing them to a theraputic level. The meds is 1/4 of an all round solution to as you should look at introducing..a healthy diet...exercising 3-4 times a week and getting 7-8 hours sleep a night.

the meds can increase side effects but remember this...its a good thing as it means its working so give it another while and THEY WILL PASS... I recommend speaking to a therapist or looking at cbt going forward.

I experienced the exact same as you mentioned above but the side effects have now passed and I am on it 10 weeks.

hope this helps. Hang in there.

lukesmom

Gleeso_Finglas wrote: »

Can I suggest something to try??

Try taking it every second day for 2 weeks.

lukesmom

Did you see that by googling it? I'm on a google ban and it's been a month since I researched medication. I'll see how I am tomorrow hopefully I fare out okay

Gleeso_Finglas

lukesmom wrote: »

Did you see that by googling it? I'm on a google ban and it's been a month since I researched medication. I'll see how I am tomorrow hopefully I fare out okay

No ha I dont google it because everything seems to be bad about medication. I had to do it with a benzo I was depandant on. And it worked.