LETS ALL LAUGH AT PEOPLE WITH DEPRESSION!!

stupidusername

saa wrote: »

What is sorely lacking in the Irish psyche: How to deal with a depressed person.

All I have in my head is what not to do
from experience of course.

same here. i mean in terms of telling friends what they can do to help, all i have is what not to do. there is no answer. it varies from person to person.

saa

stupidusername wrote: »

same here. i mean in terms of telling friends what they can do to help, all i have is what not to do. there is no answer. it varies from person to person.

Defo if someone doesn't know what to do just listen silence is okay and all that, don't instantly ignore it, cheer us up, offer solutions or especially talk about how everyone has it tough.

Ah well other people won't ever be equipped always good chat lines (yes that does sound seedy but help line seems not to hit the nail on the head :P)

AckwelFoley

I have being suffering with my depression badly over the past few weeks, I'Veoh found the usual...short tempered, irritable, anxious, and bouts of tears. I find it tires me out wears me down.

Alas, I've being here before and know the ropes now and know it will pass in time.

stupidusername

saa wrote: »

Defo if someone doesn't know what to do just listen silence is okay and all that, don't instantly ignore it, cheer us up, offer solutions or especially talk about how everyone has it tough.

Ah well other people won't ever be equipped always good chat lines (yes that does sound seedy but help line seems not to hit the nail on the head :P)

it's not that i want to feel sorry for myself but I find it patronising when someone thinks they can cheer me up. solutions, maybe, sometimes. for me i think all anybody can do is listen to me, appear interested / not bored, and not try to pass it off as temporary / silly.

cloud493

Saying to someone 'I can cheer you up' isn't bad, just misguided. The best they can say, is nothing at all. Not judgmental, not trying to stay what help is needed, just listening. Enormously helpful, better than some 'I understand' bollocks.

DeVore

The best thing to do, imho, is to make sure the person knows that whenever they want to talk, about whatever they want to talk about, you will be there for them to listen and not in a patronising or piteous way.

If they want to pour their heart out or if they want to just go for coffee and a movie, no questions asked, no judgements made, just friendship and support.

Its perfectly ok to say "Look, I dont know what your are going through but you arent alone."

I told a mate of mine a long time ago "if you are surrounded by friends, when the lights go out you are no more alone than before, you just cant see them for the darkness". Trite, but true.


DeV.

stupidusername

i was down the other day, and my friend insisted on seeing me, and i kinda had no choice to go out and get coffee with her. but when i have to be around people i can't be myself. after just talking about normal things for a while, she asked was ok, or how I was feeling, and I can't answer that. i told her to get the real answer she'd have to ask when i'm by myself. i was brought up to not be upset over things, to not talk about things, and i can't shake it. i can never be myself in front of my friends.

you're right DeVore, that's exactly what I want anyway.

steddyeddy

Had to post here as its a bad time of year for me. Due to some problems with a family member I no longer have contact with my family. The sad thing is I never get to see the nice family members such as my mother or brother. In fact this year is the first year I wont see my mother for christmas. No words can express how sad I feel over this. Its made worse by the fact that I know my mother and brother are very upset over this. My purpose in writing this is so that anyone who is similarly alone at christmas can take some solace from the fact that your not the only one.

Bobby42

I've had a bad couple of weeks. Under a lot of pressure with my college exams. I just can't for the life of me sit down and study. I've just lost a lot of motivation. It just feels like I don't care. I was on my way to an exam the other day and a car floored it through red lights as I was crossing the road and it didn't phase me at all. Thing is though that I've had three years of therapy which was brilliant so I know what all my issues are, feels like I've dealt with everything from my past and everything. But I don't know, I just get so angry, really feels like no one understands.

opinion guy

I have two, somewhat opposing opinions on the problem of finding people to listen.

The first is that, as a general rule, very few people genuinely know how to listen. Honestly I think I could on one hand but certainly on two, count the number of people I've met who are truly good listeners. But then maybe I didn't always recognize them.

The second is that, as a slightly less general rule, depressed people are often poor at picking out who is a good listener and who isn't. Now I don't think this is true of all people who are depressed, but I do think its true of some.



I suppose the problem is, if you don't have good listeners to talk to, and if you are not good at picking out the good listeners, what to do about it ?
That's tricky. I had a thunk upon once, and I came up with things to watch out for to help me spot good listeners. This seems relevant to the discussion at the moment.

a) The obvious stuff - people who pretend they don't hear me, cut me off to shut down the conversation or instantly try to fix the problem with solutions - NOT good listeners:

b) People who when I'm talking let me talk, when I'm thinking help me think ARE good listeners. By this I mean, when I am expressing myself (and expressing myself is key by the way), they don't interrupt very much. Now a really good listener will know when to prod my thought process with a question to direct me to explore a train of thought - but that I think is an advanced tactic, but even simply a good listener who hasn't mastered that will know when to shut up. What I mean by helping me think is that after I've talked and talked and I'm mulling it over they will be watching me and know just when to give me a mental nudge to kick my thought process in a direction I wasn't reaching myself.

c) DON'T FUCKING PITY ME. There is nothing worse than telling someone your story and having the patronizing feeling of being pitied. I have no f**king use for anyone's pity. Generally if I feel someone is pitying me I will shut down the conversation. What I do think a good listener can do is to give you a feeling of 'bearing witness' to what you are going through. Another expression I've heard is that of 'holding the space'. I guess what I mean is the listener gives a sense of being interested and being empathic to the story, but not of being to close or too distant - in other words not being too upset either way by what you are telling them. If the listener reacts with strong emotions in any direction that rebounds onto the person talking and affects the process they are going through.


Anyhow this might be a bit esoteric, but I found it something that served me. As I said I've met a handful of great listeners in my life - they all were masters of these things I've mentioned above.

zenno

I always wondered why people find it so hard to comfort a friend in times of depression. all it takes is a long chat and to be sincere with the person.

my friend a few years back knocked into me and didn't seem right but i knew he had problems so i got into his car and we had a 2 hour chat to sort it out.

I never realized how bad it was till he started talking and letting it all out, the poor lad was in bits crying over the state of his situation and i actually was a bit shocked. so i spent the 2 hours talking to him about his situation and after this he was a bit better but i told him to call into me at 10 the next morning and he did and we had a few beers and another long chat to try and sort out the problems he was having and lo and behold he left after that day much better and got his sh1t together and went to Scotland and got himself a bungalow and he met a beautiful Scottish woman and settled down.

all i am saying is if a friend needs help from depression it costs nothing to spend a few hours talking to them. if you understand their problems you can help them just by being there and especially communicating with them in a genuine manner. you would be amazed how much difference it can make to a friend or anyone just by listening to them and finding and helping them find a solution to these problems.

one day you all will find yourself in a situation and need comfort and assurance and believe me you will be glad of it and it will make you realize we all go through it.

Pdfile

DeVore wrote: »

I suffer from depression.



I was spurred to write this by a few things, but what put me over the top was the recent handling of Kate Fitzgerald's suicide by the Irish Times and The Communications Clinic along with SineadW's terrific photographical artwork for WhatStigma.

I'm lucky. I don't get it as badly as other people I know. I want to explain about it though because either you suffer from it too and I want to share, or you don't and I want to explain a few things.

Now, it's not traditionally the the lightest of topics but hey, I'm game let's see if I can't raise a few giggles along the way? I'm going to break this up into three sections. Firstly for people who dont have a full understanding of depression and its affects. Secondly for those who may get it. Thirdly my own personal experiences and things I wish people knew.



SO IF YOU DONT UNDERSTAND DEPRESSION, HERES SOMETHINGS YOU SHOULD KNOW

Depression is not sadness.
One of the biggest misunderstandings about depression is that its like being really sad. It's not. It's like being *nothing*. Not sad, not happy, nothing. No joy, no sorrow. Flat line. Sure it can be triggered, exacerbated or deepened by bad, sad news... But the feeling is not one of sadness, it's more a flat feeling of inertia.
To give you an idea, there was a day, not years ago, I got up and made myself a coffee and discovered I had no milk and thought: Why do I even bother, the world is ****ed and I can't fix it and went back to bed for the rest of the day. Two days later I couldn't figure out why someone had left a cup of black coffee go cold in my kitchen...

Walk it off!!
Frequently I will look back on a period, weeks even months and notice the signs. Believe it or not it's not always easy to spot when you are depressed, it's an amazingly insidious thing. And worse, when someone has it bad, they won't even care they have it. Nothing seems worth bothering about, even getting themselves help seems fncking pointless.
Depression isn't something you can just "snap out of". Vitamin C and a kick in the arse is, curiously, not a solution. :rolleyes:


Mental health issues = keep him away from sharp things.
Believe me, if I'm depressed the very last thing I could be bothered doing is chasing your dumb ass around with a carving knife. Mental health has this ludicrous perception in Ireland that somehow sufferers are a danger to themselves and others. Ok, in very severe cases the person might self harm either through omission of care or deliberately. Ironically if we didn't have this stigma many of those people would get help and that wouldn't become an issue and feed the stigma in the first place. Like so many things about depression, its ironically self-referential.

The number of cases where someone hurts others due to mental health issues (particularly depression) is a tiny tiny fraction. Tiny. We aren't Norman Bates and people need to stop hearing that shower music when someone shares their mental health issues.

People with mental health issues are intellectually sub-optimal

Wrong. Just plain wrong. In fact, I would hazard a guess that it has some correlation with high intelligence myself.
For my own part, last time I had it checked I had an iq above 150. (when I practised the tests I got that up to 180... so I wouldnt put too much stock in those tests ).
I'm 41 and pretty much retired. By any possible yardstick I've been successful and I'm bright. I have 7 honours in the leaving cert, a degree in pure mathematics, I studied 6 languages and have 11 honours in O-Levels which I sat in a single year (my "gap" year). Dumb, I aint. Lots of the people I know who have depression have it because they see TOO clearly rather than that they have poor intellects.


So, Wtf have you got to be depressed about??
I have absolutely nothing to be depressed about. By anyone's standards I have lived a life less ordinary. With thanks to everyone on boards, I will probably never have to do a ****ty menial job again. My family are all thankfully healthy and I'm at the top of my game.
If only depression worked that way. It doesn't, it's not rational, it's insidious, it's illogical. Rather bizarrely I'm much more susceptible to it when things are going really well for me. When everything is in chaos and banjaxed I'm like a pig in ****e! Don't think that because someone's life looks great that they can't suffer from this. Don't think that only losers or people down on their luck can be depressed.

Instead my depression manifests as my own criticism of me. While I'll cut lots of people lots of slack, I get none. Nothing I ever do is good enough and when the black dog is barking hard I can take every achievement I've notched up and trash it. Boards? I rode on Clouds coat tails. Gaelcon? The rest of the team carried me. SSF, I can do more. My degree? Should have been good enough to be a post grad.

I'm available for bar mitzvahs and parties you know. Just sayin'...

How can I help
If you suffer from depression you can help yourself by talking about it. You can also be honest with yourself and try to see what might be a trigger for you. For me, exercise seems to help. If I allow myself to mope about things like the economy or exactly how ****ing retarded our government is, I can feel the downward spiral coming on and I have learned to head that off at the pass. Diet I'm told, is important. My diet is a wreck but I'm working on it. (Yesterday's dinner was made entirely by Rowntrees I noticed... bold DeV!)

If you dont suffer from it then you can help by understanding it better. You can help by not making a big deal out of something that probably wouldnt be a big deal if we didn't make one out of it. Be supportive, listen and for God's sake dont say something like "yeah, when my cat died I was totally bummed out". I know you mean it well, but its like consoling a cancer suffer with the tale of how you once cut your finger.


TO ANYONE OUT THERE WHO GETS THIS NASTY LITTLE CURSE:

"I'm a basketcase, ****ed up and if I tell people they will try to kill me with fire."
1 in 4 suffer depression. At those odds if you tell two people, you are almost 50/50 to be talking to another sufferer. It's means almost every family has a member who is hit by it. It means everyone knows someone who has a mental health problem, probably several people.
You aren't frankenstein's monster, they aren't going to chase you out of the village with torches.
You aren't a freak. Ok maybe you ARE a freak, I dunno. but if you are, its not because of your mental health issue.

What should you do?
Talk to someone. Anyone. Either in person or on the phone/email if you feel you can't face someone just yet. It wasn't easy for me either. Some people find it easier to talk to a complete stranger, others find it easier to talk to a family member or best mate.
Me? Well people have this strange image of me and who I am because of Boards and other things I do and telling people that I am not perfect was really hard at first. I'm a ridiculous over achiever. I wanted to preserve that public image because I thought people will treat me like a leper. Worse, they'll pity me. I don't need anyone's ****ing pity!
Talking really helped. REALLY helped. Waay more than I thought it would. In fact once I started, I couldnt stop and you know what, it felt goooooooooood.



MY STORY

My breakthrough came when my sister (a pharmacist) once said to me, "Tom, you know it sounds like you might have a touch of depression". She said it like it was nothing, like I might have a bit of a head cold. A touch of depression?? WTF?? To me that was like saying "Hey, you might have a touch of Ebola!". How could she be so nonchalant about this huge massive overwhelming secret I've been hiding?!

For some reason we find it perfectly fine to talk about physical illness. People will more then readily tell you they are dying from flu or that they sprained their ankle but a touch of depression and it's like the third secret of Fatima. Why? Because the belief is that mental health means you aren't rational, reasonable, predictable.

The vast majority of people with mental health issues are not "mad". They haven't lost their moral compass. When I'm depressed I'm the same person I always am, indeed on many many occasions since I was 9 I have successfully fooled people perfectly well that I'm "normal", whatever that is. Well, normal for me. Ok maybe I'm not a great example but lots and lots of people do it, they maintain a facade of normality while being depressed. If someone tells you they suffer from depression, don't start backing away. You've probably met them a dozen times when they *actually* were depressed, now isnt the time to stop believing they are who they are.


Depression isnt a joke. Untreated it can lead people to very dark places. But its not a death sentence either. I've lived with it all my life and it hasnt held me back because I deal with it as best I can. If you suffer from it, please please please, from someone who knows where you are, talk. You wont believe how much better you will feel, its ****ing awesome. Talking about things put it in perspective for me, made me see that I *could* cope, that life could be good. I listed the top ten most important things about me, in my opinion. I was shocked when I reaslised I hadnt listed depression.


Talk to someone.

Anyone.




(just not the Irish Times).

DeV.

Edit: Other resources online:
Our own Long Term Illness forum has a thread on it: http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2055828992
Pieta House has been mentioned a few times on the site: http://www.pieta.ie/
The Clearsil & Hormones forum has a thread on it specifically for younger people (teens and 20s I guess): http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2055801504

Reading Material:
Royal College of Psychiatrist: Readable info on all mental health topics aimed at patients and caregivers.

Psychology Today on Mindfulness: Readable and essential non-medication treatment ideas. All stuff that can improve your life with no side effects. Does not negate the need for meds in many cases but it can improve your quality of life.

NIMH booklets on mental health topics: Good reading. Again aimed at patients.


I'll edit in any more that people post, if you think of any, please let me know.

a huge qoute but easily... the best post every on boards... ever.... :cool:

The Sweeper

zenno wrote: »

I always wondered why people find it so hard to comfort a friend in times of depression. all it takes is a long chat and to be sincere with the person.

I'll give you another point of view on that, zenno - one of the contributing factors to my last depressive episode was the prolonged and sustained stress I was under dealing with my in-laws. They're all depressed too, but with different types of depression, some compounded by other psychological and emotional issues.

I stopped being an ear for my mother in law, because she would arrive at my house full of negativity, unburden herself on me in chats well over an hour or two in duration, and she would leave feeling better and I would be left to deal with what she'd unburdened herself of. Sometimes she would visit the house four and five times in one day. I used to describe it as 'the drama' - she'd come in howling about something, unload massively (often being quite unkind about various third parties in the process), usually accuse someone of deliberately victimising her, shoot down all attempts at providing an alternate view point and then hustle out on the wings of catharsis having gotten all that off her chest.

The fact is I wasn't equipped to deal with that on a long-term basis. That's not to say that you shouldn't just talk to a depressed friend, but there's a point at which a cup of tea and a chat just isn't going to cut it, and your depressed friend needs to talk to a professional.

Cups of tea and chats don't take the place of professional counselling, and be wary of someone, however much you love them, shying away from professional help and just using you as a crutch instead.

By all means, offer tea and sympathy and understanding when required, but I'm just saying have the nous to recognise when it's starting to become difficult for you. I let it go far, far past the point I should, and I suffered accordingly.

Professional, trained counsellors have the tools to help depressed people. They have ways of thinking that they can share, toolkits on how you can approach difficult situations and additionally, all professional counsellors should be in therapy themselves because it assists them in debriefing on what they take on board every day.

zenno

I'd put my foot down in that situation as I can help a person to a certain limit that i can manage but if in-laws or whoever come knocking on the door to spill the dread of their so-called pain onto you without even thinking of your own mental health and well-being as you said ( prolonged and sustained stress I was under dealing with my in-laws) then i would tell them not to call again.

I have only dealt with friends and I gave them advice as to the best of my knowledge to help them but if any person came to me to wipe their dread or junk onto me un-genuinely and they go off feeling fine while i'm left with their dread they put onto me then they will no longer be welcome to visit.

all i will say is, your space and comfort zone should be just that, and you deal with what you have to for yourself. but for people or in-laws to use you for their external relief without thinking of your health and well-being they should be told straight out in a nice way that it is affecting you as well and they should overcome that problem first before they call to you again.

sorry man if i'm a bit over the top but at the end of the day you have to look after "you" number 1. helping people is excellent i'd go out of my way to do so but when it is affecting you personally then it's time to sort it immediately.

for me personally i bottle it all up and have done so for many a year but i can control it within myself but i will not be encumbered by anyone especially after doing my best to help them and they don't listen.

nesf

The Sweeper wrote: »

I'll give you another point of view on that, zenno - one of the contributing factors to my last depressive episode was the prolonged and sustained stress I was under dealing with my in-laws. They're all depressed too, but with different types of depression, some compounded by other psychological and emotional issues.

I stopped being an ear for my mother in law, because she would arrive at my house full of negativity, unburden herself on me in chats well over an hour or two in duration, and she would leave feeling better and I would be left to deal with what she'd unburdened herself of. Sometimes she would visit the house four and five times in one day. I used to describe it as 'the drama' - she'd come in howling about something, unload massively (often being quite unkind about various third parties in the process), usually accuse someone of deliberately victimising her, shoot down all attempts at providing an alternate view point and then hustle out on the wings of catharsis having gotten all that off her chest.

The fact is I wasn't equipped to deal with that on a long-term basis. That's not to say that you shouldn't just talk to a depressed friend, but there's a point at which a cup of tea and a chat just isn't going to cut it, and your depressed friend needs to talk to a professional.

Cups of tea and chats don't take the place of professional counselling, and be wary of someone, however much you love them, shying away from professional help and just using you as a crutch instead.

By all means, offer tea and sympathy and understanding when required, but I'm just saying have the nous to recognise when it's starting to become difficult for you. I let it go far, far past the point I should, and I suffered accordingly.

Professional, trained counsellors have the tools to help depressed people. They have ways of thinking that they can share, toolkits on how you can approach difficult situations and additionally, all professional counsellors should be in therapy themselves because it assists them in debriefing on what they take on board every day.

+1

Seriously correct here. Friends are great and having a broad support network of friends and family helps so much but they never replace professional help and intervention.

guitarzero

Just curious, why does the title say let laugh at depression?

Mars Bar

guitarzero wrote: »

Just curious, why does the title say let laugh at depression?

Well "Lets" probably should be "Let's" but we'll leave that to the grammar nazis!

I'd imagine it was to get attention. It's the kind of subject people will be ready to jump in and defend quickly. It was cunning by DeV!

Morag

The Sweeper wrote: »

The fact is I wasn't equipped to deal with that on a long-term basis. That's not to say that you shouldn't just talk to a depressed friend, but there's a point at which a cup of tea and a chat just isn't going to cut it, and your depressed friend needs to talk to a professional.

Cups of tea and chats don't take the place of professional counselling, and be wary of someone, however much you love them, shying away from professional help and just using you as a crutch instead.

By all means, offer tea and sympathy and understanding when required, but I'm just saying have the nous to recognise when it's starting to become difficult for you. I let it go far, far past the point I should, and I suffered accordingly.

Professional, trained counsellors have the tools to help depressed people. They have ways of thinking that they can share, toolkits on how you can approach difficult situations and additionally, all professional counsellors should be in therapy themselves because it assists them in debriefing on what they take on board every day.

Counselling can be at times like taking a mental/emotional dump.
You shouldn't use friends and family as your mental/emotional toilet.
It's not fair on them, it's not fair on you and it can be damaging to you both.

Wibbs

The Sweeper wrote: »

Cups of tea and chats don't take the place of professional counselling, and be wary of someone, however much you love them, shying away from professional help and just using you as a crutch instead.

By all means, offer tea and sympathy and understanding when required, but I'm just saying have the nous to recognise when it's starting to become difficult for you. I let it go far, far past the point I should, and I suffered accordingly.

+ 1000 and being the crutch is a very easy thing to fall into. As is being dragged down with it. It will vary, but every crutch has it's breaking point. I very nearly discovered mine in the past.

Caveat; this is just my opinion and experience. Some people going through depression can be quite manipulative and very good at spotting potential crutches (and indeed other depressed people) as "allies" in their downward spiral. "Misery loves company" type of thing. Plus as TS said a way to avoid admitting a problem and seeking help for themselves. Some(luckily a small enough number) IMHO and IME can be only described as emotional vampires, who feed off this kind of dynamic. They can actually feel "better" watching listeners, family and friends going down with them. It can be part and parcel of this horrible condition. Friends and family are in danger of this most of all, by virtue of being more emotionally attached in the first place. Professionals keep an emotional distance for good reason.

As The Sweeper says have the nous to recognise this if you find yourself in this position. Of course that's easier to spot after the fact. Not so easy at the time at least not for me. I'd spot it now, but that's only through previous experience where I didn't. I did spot it in the end before it got too out of hand, but it was way more luck and external circumstance than judgement on my part. Even so it affected me emotionally for a good while afterwards.

And I would have to admit very much coloured my feelings and attitude to those with depression. Wrongly as I see it now. As the term "mental illness" covers such a huge range of mental and emotional distress, those with it cover a huge range of individuals and responses to it.

This damned illness doesn't just affect the person who has it, it can affect those close to them and those who care for them and often they're left out of the loop when we talk about this. In any illness there's usually a "carer" and they need to be included, advised and helped too.

jaffacakesyum

I've suffered from depression for so long now it just seems like it's always been this way. I've never had the courage to go get help. Recently I've had one of the worst hit backs in a long while and it's pushed me to the point where I've been sitting at home for the past hour with my coat on and the car keys in my hand just telling myself to go to the GP.

DeVore

So you can tell all of us, but not a trained professional ?

I've an idea...
Maybe you could do me, you and everyone out there a favour and turn this on itself. You seem like you can write, why not go, talk to him and then tell everyone here who might be on the verge of going how things went, what it was like. It would make it an interesting exercise and also get you th help you already know you need mate.
Either way, I wish you the very best.

DeV.

Wattle

jaffacakesyum wrote: »

I've suffered from depression for so long now it just seems like it's always been this way. I've never had the courage to go get help. Recently I've had one of the worst hit backs in a long while and it's pushed me to the point where I've been sitting at home for the past hour with my coat on and the car keys in my hand just telling myself to go to the GP.

Do it man. Getting out of the poisonous head space of depression is vital. We can't conquer this alone. Even though company is the last thing you feel like doing right now its important to break the chain of isolation which only makes us worse. Start by visiting your GP.

rebel without a clue

i agree with the sweeper. for the past year or so, i have started to ignore/ phase out etc. negetive people in my life. its bad enough that im depressed and trying to deal with that, whilst being all happy and confident etc to the world, but these assholes who invade my personal space and start sh*ting on about random crap annoy the hell out of me! for example; person at work who continuely stands at my desk giving out about the world and its mother! i could say "isnt it a nice bright day out" and she will follow with "ah sure it'll probably pour rain in the afternoon". i could say "wasnt that nice that a homeless person won the lotto" and she will follow with " sure he'll probably blow it all on drugs and end up back on the street ina years time". get what i mean??? there are different types of negetivity- i mean im negetive but fighting it and i will always try to find positive things to say and put positive thoughts out there, whereas my colleague is just constantly negetive, 5 days a week. people like that feed off your energy, they suck it out of you and then leave, more energised and happy than you! simply because they've pulled your positive energy away from you and into their energy field instead. i absolutly refuse to allow these f**kers to make me feel miserable. sorry i know i rambled a bit there, but i hope ye get what i mean!!


had a bad last few days, god i hope i can hold it together for christmas.

saa

I didn't get out of bed today but I feel better now *big thumbs up*

Excited about getting up at 7am tomorrow to get Stone Roses tickets for my fella fingers crossed.

This morning I was thinking of Christmas bleugh, big picture - negative spin, a small thing to focus on is such a help.

This illness has its powers of trickery, will fool you into thinking things will always be this bad in reference to recent posts I believe that that's never the case, I hope so.. I guess I have to believe it.

Wibbs

saa wrote: »

This illness has its powers of trickery, will fool you into thinking things will always be this bad in reference to recent posts I believe that that's never the case, I hope so.. I guess I have to believe it.

Don't just believe it, know it. Saa though it's a pain in the arse right now, try to remember that the most constant thing is this life is change. What you're feeling now, whether that be good or bad, will be different an hour, a day, a month, a year from now. That is a given. You are not alone, though you may feel you are. That is a given. Much of all this may seem out of your control, but you're more in control than you may believe. That is also a given. You have a lot more power over your life than you think. I would say most people don't see how much power they have. IMHO and IME Depression robs that from you even more and that is it's greatest crime. They say that one person can change the world and that is true and has been proven true time and time again in history. Now imagine how much one person, you, can change for themselves.

[rambling aside] When I look around and see too many struggling with life and most of all themselves, yes I see the labels attached to mental illness, but more I see so many of us feeling alone, unconnected and thinking and feeling this will never change. If I could say one thing it's that this is so so so much less true than you may think and feel. If you do feel like this, then look at this thread and others like it and you will see and feel others in the same boat as you. All of us, "healthy" or "sick" are trying to figure out which way to row that boat, but there are people beside us and you. Family, friends, professionals who will help you. All you need to do is take that step and reach out. There will be hands that will reach back. [/rambling aside]

stupidusername

Wibbs wrote: »

[rambling aside] When I look around and see too many struggling with life and most of all themselves, yes I see the labels attached to mental illness, but more I see so many of us feeling alone, unconnected and thinking and feeling this will never change. If I could say one thing it's that this is so so so much less true than you may think and feel. If you do feel like this, then look at this thread and others like it and you will see and feel others in the same boat as you. All of us, "healthy" or "sick" are trying to figure out which way to row that boat, but there are people beside us and you. Family, friends, professionals who will help you. All you need to do is take that step and reach out. There will be hands that will reach back. [/rambling aside]

we may all be the same, but it doesn't mean we're not all still alone.

Wibbs

stupidusername wrote: »

we may all be the same, but it doesn't mean we're not all still alone.

My contention S is that the worst thing about depression is that it robs people. It robs people of seeing their value, it robs people of hope, it robs people of the near inevitability of change and most of all it robs people of seeing that they're not alone. Not nearly as much as this illness tells them they are.

K-9

stupidusername wrote: »

we may all be the same, but it doesn't mean we're not all still alone.

You're always going to be alone to a certain extent though. Having the best counselors, friends and contacts isn't going to change that, they can't be there, or available, all the time.

I suppose the point is, not becoming too scared of the times we are alone. Seeing it as a challenge and trying to beat it. I'd usually be a glass half full person in general, political, sport matters etc. just on a general outlook on life, but when it comes down to change on a personal level I always seem to find a reason to look at things in a glass half empty way.

stuar

Depression. What can I say, it's my 20th birtday with it, 37 now depressed since 17, high intelect, high IQ, I'm the person comes to to fix/sort/help with almost anything, but the one thing I cannot fix is my mental health and just as was said on southpark "I'm not an idiot".

I have attempeted suicide multiple times, last attempt was 150 pills of different chemicals.

Depression has taken a lot of friends and close friends away, out of this sad and bad world, maybe someday I'll follow them to happy hunting grounds.

Depression is a hard word and expierience to talk about, i've tried to bottle it for years, seen various mental health experts the lot, but they cannot help me, only I can.

I drink, take non prescribed drugs, valium in unknown doses, lost 3 partners due to my madness/depression and really fkued up my family's mental health because of mine, I really feel bad about that part of it, been banned from forums such as this for having a wobbler while going through torment of the mind.

As the verve said "drugs dont work", and they don't, my last dose of crap prescribed by the doctor, a few years ago made me happily suicidal, meaning they took the edge and sympathy that I had for my kids and family away from my thinking.

Now?, my life is sh1t, everybody is on the xmas buzz while I sink lower into myself, but I don't care, I feel no pain, thats an art that makes me who I am, I've adjusted to accomadate, now I sleep alone, sweep the streets I used to own, but so what?, life goes on regardless, but I reallly cannot say whether my next attempt will be sucessful or if i'll bottle it at the last minute.

My final word to anybody out there is seek help, don't be a statistic, live and let live......SELAH

efb

Didn't have the best of days yesterday. In bed for most of it. Up and facing the world today