LETS ALL LAUGH AT PEOPLE WITH DEPRESSION!!

Gleeso_Finglas

Phoenix wrote: »

a mate of mine is in bad shape..hes tried to over dose twice this year been to gp and they gave him lexapro same drug he already tried to commit suicide with along with sleeping tabs and alcohol:rolleyes:

Howdey phoenix

please talk to your friend and advise that it is very common for him to feel worse at the start asthe side effects can give you su*cide idealations (thoughts) it takes around 6-8 weeks for AD to take full effect but just keep reminding him that theres nothing wrong with him it is a symptom of depression and side effects. He will get better but it does take time. Try get him to knock the gargle on the head...eat as healthy as possible and get fresh air.

I was in hus position a couple of weeks ago and I was like that for 4 months but it takes time and it does get better.
if he gets any worse bring him to a&e they will look after him or I attended a day hospital they are fantastic.

Gleeso_Finglas

How is everyone tonight. Are you goin to celebrate paddys day?

kumate_champ07

Phoenix wrote: »

a mate of mine is in bad shape..hes tried to over dose twice this year been to gp and they gave him lexapro same drug he already tried to commit suicide with along with sleeping tabs and alcohol:rolleyes:

thats awful, I would report whatever doc re prescribed him lexapro.

Chiquitita

Hey phoenix,

How has your friend been over the last few days? Hope all is ok!

Foxhound38

I've been barely functional over the past few days. The black dog is roaring and I've been too sick to care. I have no logical reason to feel the way I do - but when things are bad I alternate between fatigue, anxiety, inward anger, and emotional lethargy, and the biggest clusterf*ck of it all is that these four states almost feed off each other in the transition from one to another. My fatigue stops me from doing things, the fact that I can't do things I feel I should be doing when I'm like this makes me anxious, the anxiety leaves me paralysed, the paralysis leaves me angry at myself, the anger dies away to lethargy, the lethargy fatigues me more and so the cycle continues until I can break myself out of it for a while - but it always starts again eventually. My greatest achievements mean nothing to me, and my most minor failures cripple me.

I have a great family, good friends, a normally active social life, a job I like. 70% of the time, I'm fine - it's the other 30% of the time that kicks my ass.

I only recently enough started a course of medication for this - I've been on 10mg of lexapro for the last few months. I'm not objectively sure whether it's helping me - I'm so inwardly and emotionally numb I honestly couldn't tell you if it's having an effect - but it's worth a shot I guess.

Few people know about my condition - I avoid friends etc when I'm not up to it, making excuses about being busy, sick etc when I'm in a dark place. It took me long enough to even realize I had a problem (as opposed to just being in a funk I needed to cop on from), and even more time to seek professional help about it. I'll work my way up to opening up about it to people other than close family and my GP but being honest I'm not there yet.

It helps to read a thread like this, at least I know I'm not alone.

Gongoozler

Anybody who started the cbt there, how are ye finding it?

Drumpot

Foxhound38 wrote: »

I've been barely functional over the past few days. The black dog is roaring and I've been too sick to care. I have no logical reason to feel the way I do - but when things are bad I alternate between fatigue, anxiety, inward anger, and emotional lethargy, and the biggest clusterf*ck of it all is that these four states almost feed off each other in the transition from one to another. My fatigue stops me from doing things, the fact that I can't do things I feel I should be doing when I'm like this makes me anxious, the anxiety leaves me paralysed, the paralysis leaves me angry at myself, the anger dies away to lethargy, the lethargy fatigues me more and so the cycle continues until I can break myself out of it for a while - but it always starts again eventually. My greatest achievements mean nothing to me, and my most minor failures cripple me.

I have a great family, good friends, a normally active social life, a job I like. 70% of the time, I'm fine - it's the other 30% of the time that kicks my ass.

I only recently enough started a course of medication for this - I've been on 10mg of lexapro for the last few months. I'm not objectively sure whether it's helping me - I'm so inwardly and emotionally numb I honestly couldn't tell you if it's having an effect - but it's worth a shot I guess.

Few people know about my condition - I avoid friends etc when I'm not up to it, making excuses about being busy, sick etc when I'm in a dark place. It took me long enough to even realize I had a problem (as opposed to just being in a funk I needed to cop on from), and even more time to seek professional help about it. I'll work my way up to opening up about it to people other than close family and my GP but being honest I'm not there yet.

It helps to read a thread like this, at least I know I'm not alone.

Had to look at who posted it to make sure I didn't post it in my sleep because I can relate to pretty much everything on this .

Funny thing for me is that I used to use my wife as an excuse to why I couldn't go out with friends ("Ah the old ball and chain, you know guys"). I felt I couldn't face social situations with people I love very much so because it got to hard to keep putting on a brave face and pretending to be the happy go lucky member of the group who hadn't a care in the world. My social appearance told a lie that my true inner pain just couldn't continue to pretend didn't exist. I wanted them to see the real me but I was afraid of rejection , that they would all leave me, after all who wants to be around a old sour puss on a night out!

I find my instincts and feelings can be a complete contradiction. Quite often I want to be alone and not bothered by anybody, but then many of the times when I get this "me time" , I feel lonely, like everybodys abandoned me! :rolleyes:

One of the big things with CBT that has helped me sometimes snap out of my spiral of darkness is that I shouldn't necessarily trust my perception of my surroundings. I have a loving family and there are plenty of things that I have to be greatful for, but to be quite blunt this doesn't matter a sh*t when Im feeling horrible. If anything this makes me feel worse when I think of it like this ("I have every opportunity and support to feel better, WTF is wrong with me!").

I instead try (not always successful!) to focus on where I am and acknowledge whatever it is I am feeling. I know this moment will pass. I try to stop whatever it is I am doing (if possible) whether its work or anything and to try to get centred. This isn't as easy as it sounds and its taken me years to learn a few simple things.

I goto church the odd time (when no mass is on) as sometimes it soothes me just sitting in an empty, quiet room with a certain presence. I think about god and other things that may be upsetting me. For me, I am giving my mind time to resolve whatever it is tangling me up. Same if I go for a walk or get exercise. Sometimes playing football (where I cant even think about anything) is great and I feel centred afterwards.

For me there is no quick fix for how I can struggle in life and CBT is about trying to learn good habits to stop me spiralling further when I start to feel bad. . . CBT also helps me learn good habits to get back on an even keel. For me, CBT has been an alternative to medication. One of the most important lessons has been for me to stop thinking and to take actions. Mulling over my problems doesn't change anything, taking a positive action to try to improve my mood can be uplifting and empowering as I am not remaining a victim to my own thoughts.

In terms of opening up to family, I have found it both liberating and frightening at times, but what I would say to you is that I now know who my friends are. The support I get from some friends is surprising (in that I didn't expect the level of comfort that I get from them) and while my family struggles to comprehend exactly why I feel like I do ("sure you have everything going for you . . .. "), I am still glad that its out in the open. In the end, I was worried that I would be classed a lazy , no good, ungrateful little prick for feeling the way I do. Once I shed this fear and felt that my feelings were real and important and that I needed to get them out in the open , things started to improve.

I didn't value my feelings, but once I started to open up and get the help I needed, it started to unravel the barriers I had put up over decades. I thought these barriers (excuses/reasons why I couldn't deal with my depression) were protecting me from further pain, disappointment and rejection. In truth, they were holding me back from getting the help I desperately needed. I was drowning and nobody knew it but me.

Friends/family have always been supportive and helpful and a good shoulder to lean on, but they do not always possess the necessary knowledge to help me. A friend or family member will give advice or support as they know how, but sometimes, even though they mean well, its not the advice that I need. That's why I go to a therapist and regularly discuss my well being with my doctor. A friend or family member will give advice or support as they know how, but sometimes, even though they mean well, its not the advice that I need.

My life is full of ups and downs, but I have found myself more and more able to cope with the knocks. I used to read people write positive stuff on this thread and imagine them in some magical land of happiness that I felt I just could never possibly dream of getting to. There is no magical happy land, but for me there is a more balanced life where I can sleep, deal with my anxiety, fear and depression. I can enjoy moments of happiness, time with my family. Its not because I just found the meaning of life, once I started to trust in others (professionals/family/friends), I started to get the help to learn how to cope with a life that at one stage I really didn't want to continue . .

DeVore

Foxhound38 wrote: »

I've been barely functional over the past few days. The black dog is roaring and I've been too sick to care. I have no logical reason to feel the way I do - but when things are bad I alternate between fatigue, anxiety, inward anger, and emotional lethargy, and the biggest clusterf*ck of it all is that these four states almost feed off each other in the transition from one to another. My fatigue stops me from doing things, the fact that I can't do things I feel I should be doing when I'm like this makes me anxious, the anxiety leaves me paralysed, the paralysis leaves me angry at myself, the anger dies away to lethargy, the lethargy fatigues me more and so the cycle continues until I can break myself out of it for a while - but it always starts again eventually. My greatest achievements mean nothing to me, and my most minor failures cripple me.

I have a great family, good friends, a normally active social life, a job I like. 70% of the time, I'm fine - it's the other 30% of the time that kicks my ass.

I only recently enough started a course of medication for this - I've been on 10mg of lexapro for the last few months. I'm not objectively sure whether it's helping me - I'm so inwardly and emotionally numb I honestly couldn't tell you if it's having an effect - but it's worth a shot I guess.

Few people know about my condition - I avoid friends etc when I'm not up to it, making excuses about being busy, sick etc when I'm in a dark place. It took me long enough to even realize I had a problem (as opposed to just being in a funk I needed to cop on from), and even more time to seek professional help about it. I'll work my way up to opening up about it to people other than close family and my GP but being honest I'm not there yet.

It helps to read a thread like this, at least I know I'm not alone.

Yep, I can identify with this too. Very much so with the fatigue/lethargy/inactivity/anger/depression/fatigue cycle. Its a bugger.

The key to breaking it for me was to stop the "anger". Its the only bit you really have good control over imho. You can choose to not be angry with yourself for not performing to your (probably quite exacting) standards. I try to get one thing done, and then focus on the triumph of doing that rather than the failure of doing everything else

Seriously, this works for me for breaking that cycle. Try to float above the lack of "achievement" and examine it with a cool head and a warm heart. You are currently in a bad state of mental health so take that into account and say "ok, so lets focus on the positives..."
Even explicitly acknowledging that you are breaking your cycle is GOOD. Step up above yourself for a moment (thats what I mean by "floating") and see the whole picture... see your lack of energy, see the cycle, see the vicious circle of it, see how you break it and understand why you are giving yourself a pass and a cuddle today.

You cant fix what you cant recognise. Acknowledge the cycle as you have done above, step outside your mindset right now and see how you are attacking back at this black dog.

I dont know how to explain it better because I've had this language since I was 9 and didnt know how else to describe it but "dont wallow, float above it and see the whole story" is what I would say.

When I started to "attack back" and actually had some impact, I felt like "woooaaah, I aint a passanger any more with this thing... I'm fighting for the steering wheel and I'm actually winning sometimes!". That was a good day.

Foxhound38

DeVore wrote: »

Yep, I can identify with this too. Very much so with the fatigue/lethargy/inactivity/anger/depression/fatigue cycle. Its a bugger.

The key to breaking it for me was to stop the "anger". Its the only bit you really have good control over imho. You can choose to not be angry with yourself for not performing to your (probably quite exacting) standards. I try to get one thing done, and then focus on the triumph of doing that rather than the failure of doing everything else

Seriously, this works for me for breaking that cycle. Try to float above the lack of "achievement" and examine it with a cool head and a warm heart. You are currently in a bad state of mental health so take that into account and say "ok, so lets focus on the positives..."
Even explicitly acknowledging that you are breaking your cycle is GOOD. Step up above yourself for a moment (thats what I mean by "floating") and see the whole picture... see your lack of energy, see the cycle, see the vicious circle of it, see how you break it and understand why you are giving yourself a pass and a cuddle today.

You cant fix what you cant recognise. Acknowledge the cycle as you have done above, step outside your mindset right now and see how you are attacking back at this black dog.

I dont know how to explain it better because I've had this language since I was 9 and didnt know how else to describe it but "dont wallow, float above it and see the whole story" is what I would say.

When I started to "attack back" and actually had some impact, I felt like "woooaaah, I aint a passanger any more with this thing... I'm fighting for the steering wheel and I'm actually winning sometimes!". That was a good day.

Thanks DeVore, that's genuinely good advice and a good way to reconfigure the way one looks at this thing.

DeVore

One of the most helpful things my counsellor told me was "you are not your thoughts... you are your thinking around your thoughts".



Deep stuff man!

Chiquitita

Second aware cbt meeting tonight...

So true about the circle you talk about. The effort of getting ready combined with the general lack of interest which induces tiredness...and back to square 1.

I set myself targets so at half3 I have to start getting ready and put on some slap and make myself look presentable. Said that i'd buy myself something in town so gonna have a look at some makeup that I need.

I'm going to have to start looking for a job soon too I guess, though that'd be hard when I dont get to sleep till about 4 and wake up at 12 and then stay indoors all day. Gah!

Chiquitita

Really enjoyed it. The facilitator has a great way of speaking and gives us a laugh about things
For anyone thinking about joining a group i'd say go for it. Im only 2 weeks in but its nice to meet people who are in the same boat. My reasons for going there, the reasons I have depression are still there and I still find them hard to accept but these classes offer a helping hand.

So, go on, sign up for the next group sessions...:p

Timmyctc

It really sums up the sort of downer you're in when all you find yourself doing is sighing. Sighing without relief is one of the worst things.

Chiquitita

Thats something I find also. Sigh.

I really am all about the simple pleasures for the last few months.To be honest things are so very bad in my mind that these little things are so very lovely. It's sleep. The only thing I seem to truly enjoy anymore. Right now its my hot water bottle because the heat makes me feel cosy and I know that for the hours that I close my eyes i'll have a bit of respite from the anxiety and endless b*ll*x thoughts that consume me.

Now if I could only stop the nightmares that'd be truly lovely.
Night all xox

loubian

Feeling really crap the last few weeks

Timmyctc

loubian wrote: »

Feeling really crap the last few weeks

Know them feels kid. Luckily if you ever need/want to talk you happen to be amongst a group of people that know exactly how you feel, (more or less :pac: ).

Personally (these opinions are solely my own and do not reflect the best ideas of anyone :P ) I find talking/whining/complaining on here one of the most cathartic things and it helps me deal with crap a lot better. (Second to CBT and meds I think communities like this are the best :pac: ) I just exercised so I'm riding this high as long as possible, hence the overwhelming positivity.

Be well my home dawgs.

Calibos

Just a quick update on how I'm doing coming off Cymbalta 60mg...

Surprisingly well TBH.

I've finished the 14x 30mg I was prescribed by the doc. You'll remember for the second set of 7 tablets I was going to take them every second day but got bad Brain Zaps near the end of the second tabs 48 hour mark and decided to take the rest of this second set of 7 tabs on consecutive days too. My research indicates that alternating days isn't advised because the half life of Cymbalta is only 12 hours unlike the 24 hours of the likes of Prozac. This is why Prozac is often prescribed for those having difficulty coming off Cymbalta. Once off the Cymbalta then one tapers off the Prozac which is easier. The Brain Zaps aren't painful, just disconcerting and distracting.

Anyway, as I found 5x 60mg while cleaning, I used 3 of them to make 12x 15mg. I bought some Tramil capsules and emptied the paracetamol out and divided the contents of the 60mg cymbalta evenly between these empty Tramil capsules. My nervous system noticed the drop from the 30mg to the 15mg and was edgy the first day on 15mg, but have been fine the last two days. No Zaps to speak of either.

All going well I'll taper down to 7.5mg next week using the remaining 2x 60mg cymbalta which will make 16x 7.5mg. Hopefully that'll be all I'll need and 7.5mg to zero wont be too bad.

So far, its looking like, while Cmybalta withdrawl can be very tough going for some people, that for plenty of others its fine. Unfortunately those people don't generally post positive Cymbalta withdrawl/tapering accounts which can give an unbalanced picture of the prevelance of bad withdrawl symptoms with this drug.

My fears certainly haven't been realised thus far anyway.

Gongoozler

Reminded me to update too Cal, I'm going from 60 to 30, and mostly its going grand. I say mostly because I'm also getting a few brain zaps, mostly from taking my tablet and little late, I think. Either that or being low on food, though pretty sure it's the delay. Other than that, it's going fine. I'll talk to my doctor about coming off or trying to go to 15, in a couple of months when I'm adapted to this dose.


Think someone wrote back to the question I had about cbt, can't remember who. Thanks for the reply. Not finding the most helpful myself, but tomorrow is week 3, so giving it a chance.

loubian

My 7, nearly 8, month old daughter is waking up several times during the night for the last three weeks. I don't know why it started or when it will stop but it's horrific. She used to sleep from 8-7 every time she wakes I find myself internally screaming "I HATE THIS". I'm a single mother so I get no time off and it's really starting to take its toll. I'll probably go back to the doctor this week and go back on my meds.

Call Me Jimmy

That does sound isolating loubian. You'll find the strength, do you get to see people during the day?

I just woke up this morning and realised I NEED to do CBT/counselling to get out of this mindset/negative pattern. I NEED to get going. I'm just so scared because 1) I never start anything, 2) I never finish anything I start and 3) I'm scared of humiliating myself trying to sort myself out only to realise I'm as stupid and past it as I always thought.

But I just feel so trapped and aimless, I always thought I'd just kill myself if it got this bad (or even before it got this bad) but I obviously amn't capable of that.

The thing is I feel I need someone with me along the way, not just someone who I see at sessions, I need a sort of life coach someone to go out and run with me, do yoga with me, make me stick to my guns, give me encouragement. The idea of having to it all myself is very daunting.

Any advice guys?

pinkstars

I NEED HELP!

I'm lasting 20 mins in work and leaving over massive terror attacks.

Today is positive I am still here but this constant anxiety is not good at all, I am fit for bed now.

I am on heavy meds for PND (mainly anxiety and panic) could not leave the house etc and work is mainly the only place I feel so bad now.

I usually come here for a break!!!

Sick of going from doctor to psychiatrist to counsellor.

Help me someone......

pinkstars

Today I was getting thoughts and thinking what if I do take an overdose?

The thought alone freaked me out!

Call Me Jimmy

pinkstars wrote: »

I NEED HELP!

I'm lasting 20 mins in work and leaving over massive terror attacks.

Today is positive I am still here but this constant anxiety is not good at all, I am fit for bed now.

I am on heavy meds for PND (mainly anxiety and panic) could not leave the house etc and work is mainly the only place I feel so bad now.

I usually come here for a break!!!

Sick of going from doctor to psychiatrist to counsellor.

Help me someone......

pinkstars if work is where you feel bad you should think about a change, I know probably not an easy thing to do, financially might be impossible but one place I worked nearly sent me over the edge, I was lucky it was short term.

pinkstars

Oh my job isn't stressful, it is so cushy. I was told I can go outside when I want, go to the restroom, go for air, smoke, go to the employee assistance officer, whatever I want.

Small little disagreement a few weeks ago with the girls on my tea table unless it has something to do with that.......

Or maybe I just have too much time to think.........

Call Me Jimmy

pinkstars wrote: »

Oh my job isn't stressful, it is so cushy. I was told I can go outside when I want, go to the restroom, go for air, smoke, go to the employee assistance officer, whatever I want.

Small little disagreement a few weeks ago with the girls on my tea table unless it has something to do with that.......

Or maybe I just have too much time to think.........

tbh it sounds like you have too much time to think, are in a non-stop habitual reflective thinking cycle and if you could just break out of that (like me at the moment) you would see the relief of having a clear head. I believe thinking about certain things in certain ways is like an addiction. For me, it's essentially, at the core, distracting myself from the Big Point which is coming to terms with death and just being a cog in the wheel.

pinkstars

I need a clear head alright! I have had a lot going on aswell in the last few years. I was so unwell yesterday and most of today that I was so panic stricken I didn't feel at all well in that I could no way concentrate no matter how much I tried.....I was pacing and jittery and the most awful thing is happening me at the moment, I might feel fine and all of a sudden I have a massive wave of sheer terror and it knocks me out with fright.....brings on panic.......never ending cycle.....

Call Me Jimmy

Yea I'm getting a bit of that now and then too. You really sound like you could break out of it, and myself too with a bit of guidance. Like building up to a big moment where ye go 'ok I am not helpless, I am a very intelligent and sophisticated human being that has just fallen in a hole and need a leg up'.

pinkstars

I totally agree. I don't think I have gone very very backwards I just seem to need a bit of help to get back to where I was. I need a safety net!!

playedalive

Hey. Haven't posted on this thread in a while so I feel like updating, especially since I need to talk

So for a good part of my young adult life, I have been suffering with depression and anxiety. I am nearly 2 years officially diagnosed and on course of anti-depressants with a few attempts at counselling. I get sad over being lonely, especially because I don't have any close friends and don't feel I've anything good to offer people other than my social anxiety and problems. I constantly feel inferior to other people and just don't see really anything positive about my life and feel always at odds in this world. I know I am only 23 and that I've my life ahead of me. But I just always feel like I'm doomed to be alone, jobless, lost, confused with life, dissatisfied and carried away by my problems.

Of course, on paper, people wonder why I feel the way I feel and It makes me really so guilty being so dissatisfied with life. I have a mother who, despite her own mental illness, loves me. I have a home in a nice area, near to Dublin. I have a dog. I am a talented individual who speaks three languages quite fluently. I have a undergraduate degree in my foreign languages. Yes I can see that I have achieved so much and seem to have a lot going for me. But, I feel I really have nothing. Now unemployed and finding it difficult to hold down a job (have been offered work but let go due to lack of experience), I just feel there is a huge constant stage void in my life that won't go away. Nothing makes me truly happy. I don't really have any close friends, bar a few people I see/talk to from time to time and that can be so sporadic. I can't really tell them how I'm feeling unless I burden them and make them feel awkward and reject me for being me(whether that's me socially anxious, immature, sad). Nor can I really confide in my mum how I am feeling without her panicking and only to be disappointed and told that I shouldn't feel the way I feel.

I really am trying my best to be positive and challenge my thoughts. But, it's a tiring battle. I'm just incredibly down about everything and find myself so disillusioned with life. I have tried teaching English to foreigners, but I'm not sure I'm good at it (despite not having much practice at it, but I was let go from my job for not having much practice). My dad is an alcoholic who doesn't get me and who I don't talk to as he can be quite evil with his tongue to me (telling me I wasn't a man and that my mum didn't think positively of me because I was an academic and didn't work with my hands) . I just consistently feel inferior to other people and feel there's something in me that can drive them away, whether it is my social anxiety or some weakness of mine. I don't know.

Is it inconsiderate to feel the way I feel despite how I look on paper? I always seem to feel it is. While I have a lot of going for me, I really have nothing. I just don't know any more . I think I need to get some help, whether that's counselling or another GP visit.

Gongoozler

You can't help How you feel really, but I suppose taking time to appreciate the things you have done and achieved can be very beneficial and is something everyone should do.

From an outside point of view, I admire your ability, determination and motivation to not only be fluent in several languages but having gotten teaching jobs from them. Assuming you worked hard for that, you should take time to appreciate that about yourself

Also I think you may benefit from cbt, have you tried it?