LETS ALL LAUGH AT PEOPLE WITH DEPRESSION!!

cloud493

See, when people try to help, its just misguided kindness, 99% of the time, so I think. This is a difficult enough situation to be in, let alone see someone you love/care about have happen to them. Your natural instinct is to help, even if really, you can't. I wouldn't get annoyed at people for it.

smash

cloud493 wrote: »

Your natural instinct is to help, even if really, you can't. I wouldn't get annoyed at people for it.

Have you been a situation where someone tries to "help" you when you really don't want it?

cloud493

Yes of course I have. But I didn't resent them for it.

Millicent

smash wrote: »

Have you been a situation where someone tries to "help" you when you really don't want it?

I have and I'd rather it than the alternative. I'd rather know people cared but were misguided than that they just ignored me.

old hippy

Preparing for the loneliness at this season. So many people, a whirlwind of parties and faces and alcohol to ease the pain.

Ye gods, I loathe xmz.

opinion guy

old hippy wrote: »

Preparing for the loneliness at this season. So many people, a whirlwind of parties and faces and alcohol to ease the pain.

Ye gods, I loathe xmz.

Alcohol to ease the pain ? Or to make other people easier to put up with ?

Might seem semantic but its a revealing answer (to yourself I mean - doesn't matter what I/we think)

brummytom

I had a really good night last night, went out with some friends I haven't seen in a while and felt genuinely happy. But I've a doctors appointment tomorrow morning (or 'christmas shopping' to mom and dad), but I feel like a fraud going in and telling him/her how awful I feel when it's not constant. Unless it is constant, is it a problem?

opinion guy

brummytom wrote: »

I had a really good night last night, went out with some friends I haven't seen in a while and felt genuinely happy. But I've a doctors appointment tomorrow morning (or 'christmas shopping' to mom and dad), but I feel like a fraud going in and telling him/her how awful I feel when it's not constant. Unless it is constant, is it a problem?

If you feel its a problem then its a problem. Just because you are depressed does not mean you can have the occasional good night where you feel happy. Forgive me I have not read all your posts on this thread, but I would think that if its something that is affecting you either on an ongoing basis, or even intermittently then its worth to mention to the doctor.

nesf

brummytom wrote: »

I had a really good night last night, went out with some friends I haven't seen in a while and felt genuinely happy. But I've a doctors appointment tomorrow morning (or 'christmas shopping' to mom and dad), but I feel like a fraud going in and telling him/her how awful I feel when it's not constant. Unless it is constant, is it a problem?

It's quite normal for it to ebb and flow. To have good days and bad days. And so on. The key is that there's a pattern to it and you having more bad days than good for far longer than would be reasonable with a regular bad mood.

old hippy

opinion guy wrote: »

Alcohol to ease the pain ? Or to make other people easier to put up with ?

Might seem semantic but its a revealing answer (to yourself I mean - doesn't matter what I/we think)

Maybe to make myself easier to be put up with

Corkfeen

Was having a conversation about depression and the likes with my mother, the other day. She was talking about a friend of hers with it and I mentioned how I understand because I have suffered from it in the past few years.(I refused anti-depressants because of personal reasons but I had six month periods of being exceedingly depressed. Thankfully isn't as bad at the moment.) , She responded with "Oh, No you just get low occasionally" to which I retorted "6 Months of being extremely low, antisocial and unmotivated can hardly be constituted as simply being low..." It does illustrate the attitude that plenty of Irish people seem to have about depression.

steddyeddy

brummytom wrote: »

I had a really good night last night, went out with some friends I haven't seen in a while and felt genuinely happy. But I've a doctors appointment tomorrow morning (or 'christmas shopping' to mom and dad), but I feel like a fraud going in and telling him/her how awful I feel when it's not constant. Unless it is constant, is it a problem?

There are many many complaints people suffer from Brummytom that are better some days and worse others so use the good days to your advantage in order to minimise the stress of the bad days!

Wattle

old hippy wrote: »

Preparing for the loneliness at this season. So many people, a whirlwind of parties and faces and alcohol to ease the pain.

Ye gods, I loathe xmz.

Seems alcohol is the drug that most depressed people in Ireland use to self medicate. It gives you a temporary lift but makes you worse in the long run. For what its worth I didn't really start to get a handle on my mental health issues until I gave up booze. People forget that it is a depressant.

thebaz

Perhaps someone from the govt. / health authotities may scan boards, and take heed of this silent killer - if they put half the effort into tackling depression as the do into road safety we may get somewhere - personally, i would invest a large chunk of the money that goes towards road safety, and try and tackle depression, its stigma and what can be, its horrible consequences - more people are dying due to suicide than die on the roads , the Road safety authority have done a good job , but health priorities need to be shifted, in the Ireland of today .

Regarding alcohol, its been a couple of years since i've had a drink , i miss it greatly , but i lost a good friend to it a few years ago , and every medic advised me against it , saying its effects are counter productive - thats my experience - but believe me quitting booze ain't easy - and even sober, this year has being incerdibly tough for me , so what would i be like drunk ?

DeVore

Alcohol is a depressant remember. When I feel it coming on, I kick everything. These last few days I've been spinning like a top because lots of things I'm interested in are going on online. I just worry now that it precedes a crash but I'm lucky it doesnt hit me as hard as others.


In other news, the rather cool people behind the Twitter hashtag #DepressionHurts have some neat stuff going on.

Firstly that tag has been trending for a lot of the last few days. Secondly there is a twitter account you can chat to over the xmas its: @121Depression its for anything you fancy, just a chat or a natter if you like. (they're looking for volunteers to man it for a few hours too!).

Secondly they released this video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oP7DIIcgkzs&context=C31d1892ADOEgsToPDskLkwkiEZMmlX12oYXVB3euR

They're good people, just trying to do some cool stuff without a budget and with lots of understanding.

DeV.

thebaz

most people i have met with a serious drink problem , have an underlying depression - it makes sense, feal **** , drink more , don't care , escape reality - and suddenly one day you wake up with another feckin problem

opinion guy

thebaz wrote: »

most people i have met with a serious drink problem , have an underlying depression - it makes sense, feal **** , drink more , don't care , escape reality - and suddenly one day you wake up with another feckin problem

I think it can work both ways to be honest. People can be drinking to try and drown the depression, people who are drinkers can end up depressed.

I also think some people drink as self-medication for chronic physical pain (which in itself may cause or result from depression) and its possibly under-recognised as the pain killing effects of alcohol are generally ignored by everyone (except old time dentists in Western movies)

Wibbs

DeVore wrote: »

These last few days I've been spinning like a top because lots of things I'm interested in are going on online. I just worry now that it precedes a crash but I'm lucky it doesnt hit me as hard as others.

I may be very wrong D and pardon me if I am, but I would say it doesn't hit you as much as many or you can cope with it a lot better because of a few things: Number one is you know from experience and insight that it will pass and two, you have mechanisms built up through hard won experience and work to assuage it's worst effects and you know you're not so alone. For me your OP sets that out. Hopefully people will listen and learn from that and others in this thread.

opinion guy wrote: »

I think it can work both ways to be honest. People can be drinking to try and drown the depression, people who are drinkers can end up depressed.

I also think some people drink as self-medication for chronic physical pain (which in itself may cause or result from depression) and its possibly under-recognised as the pain killing effects of alcohol are generally ignored by everyone (except old time dentists in Western movies)

+1 It would also depend on individual brain chemistry too. Alcohol as a depressant? For me it always woke me up. I'm the drunk prick at the party at 5AM lookin for the next gig to go to. More I think it is quite close to nicotine in some ways. Smokers wake up fully with a ciggy and also require same to sleep. The two legal drugs can be remarkably variable in effect.

thebaz wrote:

most people i have met with a serious drink problem , have an underlying depression - it makes sense, feal **** , drink more , don't care , escape reality - and suddenly one day you wake up with another feckin problem

As I found in my own life it doesn't even have to be that extreme. For a couple of years I needed a can/pint of beer/glass of red wine to sleep. Rarely more, but never less. Small amount, nay even likely good for me in the case of the red vino, but I needed it, small as it was. I needed it because of some serious shíte I had dealt with that all came to a head. A head I ignored, or didn't spot for all sorts of reasons at the time. I was/am pretty damn lucky and I count my blessings from Thor/Baal/Jehovah that I didn't need more.

MagicSean

I've dealt with a lot of people with depression over the Christmas periods the last few years. My job means I see those on the brink of destructive behaviour but I also see the aftermath. I will be very happy if I don't have to attend a suicide or alcohol related death in the next two weeks but I'm not optimistic. Alcohol may act as an upper to some people but that will only last so long. When the buzz fades the drop into depression seems to be much greater. At least that's what my experience has shown me.

zenno

thebaz wrote: »

but believe me quitting booze ain't easy - and even sober, this year has being incerdibly tough for me , so what would i be like drunk ?

exactly, just don't fall back into it because if you do it will be nice and pleasant for the time enjoying it but the next day or 3 will seriously mess with your mind.

I have been there and although i managed to go off it for 2 weeks before, at the end of the two weeks i felt really good and alot better but all of a sudden i woke up at 4 o clock in the morning in agony from the shakes sweats and serious pain in my stomach with cramps and thought i was dying but little did i know that i was having serious withdrawal. it hit me two weeks after having not a sip of alcohol and i just went back on the drink just to ease the pain. even though i did say in a previous older thread that i can manage to just drink a few cans and be ok, that is a lie as i have tried everything to cut the drink out even very strong tramadol painkillers but i always end back on the drink because of the serious withdrawals.

looks like i'm doomed to alcoholism because every time i try to give it up it will not let me go because the pain is so bad i have to have a drink to cure it. alcohol is the most nasty thing i have ever encountered in my life because of the way it affects you when you try and give it up after decades of drinking heavily. if anyone here has done a year off it do not go back on it trust me, it will change your life for the worst.

Doctor_Socks

Alcohol was my crutch through a lot of my depression, I didn't drink throughout the week but I did think about it all the time. The only reason for that is the fact that it was the only thing I had to look forward to, I thought I had a ****e job, no hobbies, supervisors constantly asking for more work off me so they could get their names on publications.

It's really only when I look back that I realise how bad it got, the worst thing was I would feel great for the few hours I drank but would feel like complete and utter crap for the next few days and have horrible, horrible thoughts going through my head and anxiety and paranoia building up in my head! Since I got counselling though I know how to stop those feelings from building up by playing a bit of music or games with friends to stop myself drifting into bad territory! I also started setting targets in the gym which I have to hit every week and if having a hangover means missing a target I just won't drink before it.

DeVore

I'm sure there are ways of managing that. Have you spoken to anyone about stepping down gradually rather than crashing off it? Have you gone to a professional and see if there are options like medication. You can't be the only person this has happened to so I'm sure there are options.
I'd be afraid you will use that as an excuse to give up giving up. Hey, I'm a master of post rationalisation so I should know

DeV.

zenno

well i did see a professional a few years ago but all he did was make me cry and i left feeling worse so that didn't help and i did try all sorts of drugs with no success of extinguishing the withdrawals and i also eased the drink down bit by bit but as i done this slowly i felt more weaker and more sick and seriously depressed so i went back on it again. one time i felt so bad i had a chain and wrapped it around myself and the steering wheel of the car and was going to drive it into the liffey as i was that bad of a state but i'm glad i didn't or couldn't go ahead with it.

when i have a few drinks i feel normal and in control with no pain but once i cut it out it's like a shark inside me eating away slowly so the only option is to drink to get rid of the depression and pain. anyway thats just the way it affects me and i do have good willpower but it seems it's not enough. all those drugs don't work for me and never did so i stopped taking them because it made things worse and i drank with them as well and that definitely didn't help either.

I was put on antibooze many years ago and i went off and drank again and my whole body swole up like a balloon and was taken to hospital, that antibooze is seriously bad stuff.

this comment from me here is not looking for pity or anything like that because i'm reasonably intelligent enough to know that i'm just stuck in a vicious circle and i cannot function without alcohol. i will admit i am spending most of my money on alcohol now but it's the only thing that is holding me together. without it i will just lose control.

also people that hear stories like this say it's all rubbish as you can give it up and get on with your life but they are not educated in this field as they would have to go through the withdrawals themselves to actually feel how bad it really is. unless you have been in such situations like this you will never know but at least i have a good family that i can communicate with i'm thankful of that and respect them in every way. I never get angry or abusive to people even when i'm on the ground in agony thats one thing i hold very strongly in my mind as i would never put another person down no matter how bad i am. it's just one of those bad things in certain peoples lives that happens so why affect other people with it. the way i look at it is to deal with it personally and affect no one.

popebenny16

i have it, been there since i was about 17, it receeds somewhat, but in november 2008 and then june 2009 it came back with a wallop. i totally lost it, and lost a lot of other things. lost my job, lost some friends, and lost my modships on this very website. It wasnt that i didnt care, or wanted to leave, i just stopped posting. i kept saying i will come back next week, but i never did. I came back, sort of, in january 2010 and kept going most of last year and this, had a replase in august and havent been back since. My job is all about solving peoples problems, i went from the best performer in the office to the worst in about three months and i got the boot. Tried to work on my own, it fell asunder. So did my personal life. I went back on the meds after almost fifteen years off them.

What it was, was this. The depression was always there, I remember when Denis Potter had cancer he called it Rupert (after Murdoch) and how it was an old friend. Well, the depression was like that for me, it was like the return of an old friend, but he had always been in the background. There had been awful, but brief lapses, but i had always pulled myself out. In jan 2009 I almost didnt, and in August this year I tried, to quote The Mercy Seat, "To shuffle out of life, just to hide in death a while" but I came back.

So I have a job, one that is forever teetering on the brink of closure - i am getting quite adapt at saving this place, its like canoeing on the riish sea in a rough swell - i have started keeping fit and running a lot. I find physcial exercise helps a lot. I alwo got away from crap food and, most of all, alcohol.

Dev is totally right, it is a killer for us. I went out with mates on saturday night, i see them once every six months, and i had a few. Cue me standing in the line in abra westmoreland street at 4 am blubbing away quietly to myself, and it wasnt even at the rubbish on the menu, just a careless comment a friend had said to me. When i got back to where i was staying I covered my face with a pillow and had an atatck of the hysterics, so my mate in the next room couldnt hear me and wonder what the hell was going on.

So it never goes, its there, but you can fight it, you can live with it, you can cope with it. Maybe, one day, it will finish me, I am hoping it will nto be untill my kids are grown up - in fact that is my only real motivation sometimes, to keep going.

Thats yer lot boardsies, aint much else to say.

fozzle

I just spent 10 minutes sobbing in the bathroom in work and repeatedly bashing my head off the wall. No particular reason, just not coping very well with one particular collegue. My mum has actually told me she thinks this job is going to kill me. I bloody hate this.

Wibbs

zenno wrote:

people that hear stories like this say it's all rubbish as you can give it up and get on with your life but they are not educated in this field as they would have to go through the withdrawals themselves to actually fell how bad it really is.

+1. TBH I thought similar Z until a friend of friend of mine nearly died from it and he wasn't the cliched particularly heavy duty case. Six pack in the evenings for two years kinda thing. Heavy god yes, but not down and out in the gutter chugging cheap vodka heavy. He was otherwise quite fit, regular gym goer. Along with fatty liver and some permanent damage, he also ended up with type 2 diabetes and it may well have been a factor according to his doctors. Cold turkey from something like heroin will make a person feel like shít but it's unlikely to be fatal unless there's an underlying medical problem, but Alcohol_withdrawal can be a lot more dangerous than people seem to realise. If you are alcohol dependent and need to give up please for your own sake seek professional help. It will make it easier and massively reduce the risk to your health.

DeVore

fozzle wrote: »

I just spent 10 minutes sobbing in the bathroom in work and repeatedly bashing my head off the wall. No particular reason, just not coping very well with one particular collegue. My mum has actually told me she thinks this job is going to kill me. I bloody hate this.

Then bloody kick it. Talk to someone who isnt in a mirror. Its not easy and its not fast but it is good. When you are going the wrong way, you turn back. It takes you FURTHER from your destination (a balanced, happy life) but only for a bit and as soon as you turn that corner and start heading down the right road, you have the same feeling .... you feel "right, I'm miles away from where I *should* be but now I'm on the right track".

DeV.

Feeona

fozzle wrote: »

I just spent 10 minutes sobbing in the bathroom in work and repeatedly bashing my head off the wall. No particular reason, just not coping very well with one particular collegue. My mum has actually told me she thinks this job is going to kill me. I bloody hate this.

Hey fozzle, don't know if this'll help you, but it helped me.

It took me a long time to realise this, but 99% of people who you meet from day to day (family, extended family, strangers, work colleagues, friends etc) are not out to make your life a misery. 99% of people have their own way of going on, so 99% of the time they aren't saying or doing something with the explicit intent of hurting you, they're just coping with life the only way they know how. OR they're going through a tough time and just happen to take it out on the people around them.

Realising this helped me because I was extremely sensitive to other people's opinions of me, and used to be really hurt if my attempts at friendliness or helpfulness didn't pan out (or 'thrown back in my face' was my line at the time!). Once I realised that other people aren't out to make my life hell, it made everything much easier for me.

Now there IS the possibility that your work colleague is just being a dick just for the hell of it. In that scenario, what you have to think is that person isn't just being a dick to you, he/she does it to lots of people and you're not being singled out for special attention. I also find it easier to think that karma will eventually come around and bite that person in the ass sooner or later.

Don't waste your time worrying about these people, there are so many other things you could be thinking about which would lift your mood instead of dragging it down.

Take care

stupidusername

Had a rough day/evening yesterday. i'm convinced it's my medication. but after all the thoughts I said I'd go do something about it today:

stupidusername wrote: »

after my horrible day yesterday, I decided to go to my psych about my dosage. the whole building was locked up. what a surprise with the system we have. had to go to my doctor about something else anyway, so I said i'd go to talk to her about it instead.

there's a chance they're just not open wednesdays. i've only ever had appointments on tuesday or thursday, so i'll go back in the morning and see.

my doctor asked lots of questions. stupid questions. at one point i was trying not to burst out crying, when she started telling me that having suicidal thoughts is a sign that the medication is working. i said that i rarely had these thoughts when i wasn't on medication. she just argues everything with me. she said she has it on record that i said last time that i was feeling ok. i wanted to tell her that i hate admitting this stuff out loud, and so sometimes i lie about how i am.

she wrote me a letter, to go to the casualty psychiatrist in the Mater. she said i should go tonight. but i'm not going. i'm going to try my psych again tomorrow for talking about my dose etc. if i get bad again i can go then.

i asked is it normal to have to wait 8 months for therapy, she said yeah definitely.

cloud493

I feel like sobbing, I haven't felt this bad in quite a long time. But I can't. I just can't. I just feel bad.