LETS ALL LAUGH AT PEOPLE WITH DEPRESSION!!

Morag

I am coming to the end of my couselling sessions. I can't say I have had any life changing revelations, but it was wonderful for making me look at how I could have better boundaries with family and to re enforce the postive voice in my head which often gets choked out by the negative thinking. It was also good to hear that, yup I do have a lot of stress in my life.
So I do need to do self care and it's not selfish.

Timmyctc

Been in one of those forms lately where my mood generally goes

1) Very nearly having a full scale break down in work
2) Being on top of the world
3) Generally being apathetic
4) Full of motivation
5) Back to being crushingly depressed
6) Feeling content

All in the space of about 2 hours. And rinse, repeat.
-_-
Eughhhhhhhh

playedalive

Gongoozler wrote: »

Also I think you may benefit from cbt, have you tried it?

Yeah I got a book on CBT but I think it's more beneficial to see a therapist. I've already tried counselling but I think it's more my thought processes that need to be changed.

Mysteriouschic

I don't know whats wrong with me I keep going through stages of being very motivated with college to the I couldn't any less about anything in college just not motivated at all.
The last time I saw my counsellor I was very motivated an she said she thought I was fine an didn't have depression. I seem to have fallen back into this phase again this always happens to me with everything motivated then unmotivated I don't know what it is. I can be motivated about other stuff just not college.

Calibos

Whether I actually did have depression along with my anxiety is debatable but something Jimmy said resonated with me and how well I've been feeling mentally despite tapering off Cymbalta atm kind of tied in with it.

Part of feeling depressed for me has been the lack of money...to do...well...anything. Jimmy theorised that If people can't do what they love, express their creativity whether that be art or in their hobbies or whatever they enjoy doing, that that can be very soul destroying. Ie. that in and of itself, it's not the working more hours or no hours for less money that's the depressing part so much as what this means. No time or money to express our creativity.

We partially renovated and bought the old family home. Had great plans for finishing the house that have been in limbo for 5 years now. I really got into interior design and furniture design while planning in my head. Furniture combining form function and aesthetics. Furniture combined with technology that I'm good at etc etc. having it all rolling around in my ended up just depressing me further because the way things were going, being able to start any of this was getting further away in time not closer.

What's changed if I still don't have the money to express my creativity yet?

Doing it Virtually!!

Been learning Sketchup and rendering program's in my spare time. As I've been learning I've modelled my plans for my own personal computer builds and the results look so well, I can't wait to start modelling the house and all the furniture and interior design ideas I have.

I'm getting to 'virtually' express my creativity and I'm feeling bloody great.

I want to thank everyone in this thread. I haven't posted much but read it everyday. What an amazing bunch of people. Keep fighting the good fight!

Timmyctc

During a rather unfortunate messy break up (which i would accept total fault for) I was implored to kill myself (Something i shrugged off as an intense moment of anger initially) but its sorta creeped up on me recently and i feel a whole lot more down than usual now. Cant actually concentrate on anything at work.

Someone distract me please

leinsterdude

Timmyctc wrote: »

During a rather unfortunate messy break up (which i would accept total fault for) I was implored to kill myself (Something i shrugged off as an intense moment of anger initially) but its sorta creeped up on me recently and i feel a whole lot more down than usual now. Cant actually concentrate on anything at work.

Someone distract me please

If your on a downer and getting through it, just be excited that it will pass, and when the happy stage comes for whatever reason, embrace it, dont say this is a good moment but sure ai will be pissed off soon so no point in enjoying the good times, accept both, its not the end of the world if your down.......works for me.

pinkstars

Is there anyone on Zyprexa? I was getting weird thoughts and valium wasn't even calming me down so I'm up to 7.5 zyprexa. I was on 5 mg ppreviously. As well as the other concoction.

pinkstars

pinkstars wrote: »

Is there anyone on Zyprexa? I was getting weird thoughts and valium wasn't even calming me down so I'm up to 7.5 zyprexa. I was on 5 mg ppreviously. As well as the other concoction.

I was also told to stay out of work...it wasn't fair on me how distressing it was for me as well as the other people at work.

stop animal cruelty

sorry l have no where else to get this off my chest....

my father is such a cunt...my brothers are not in the country so he has no one else to help him on the farm expect me...l help him out everday of the week. l go to college at 9 every morning, when l go home lm stright on the farm til at least 7pm. my days off friday, saturday and sunday...3 whole days lm farming. l am absoultey wrecked in the evenings when all is finished, l work hard and always make sure things are sorted and done right around the farm....

for the 3rd time in the last few weeks lv overheard my dad on the phone....boasting away about my brothers, again no mention about me. But what gets me, his telling people his all on his own, looking after 70 cattle, all by himself....no help around anymore....l dunno why l dont just roar at the bastard, how dare he say this to people...after all the work, all the time, all my free time l put into helping him, he didnt ask for my help since my brothers left, l just helped out on my own accord. not once have l felt appricated, never ever gotton 1 small thanks off of him...he is such a bastard, how can someone be like this, l dont get it...its not fair.

pinkstars

Imagining people naked while talking to them, what the hell, it's distressing is this anxiety?? Course I can't get it out of my head then.

cometogether

I am depressed and want to kill myself

Timmyctc

cometogether wrote: »

I am depressed and want to kill myself

Its a big step admitting something like that you know, a lot of people don't give themselves the credit they deserve when it comes to a painful admission like that.

If you feel that you are currently in trouble I would strongly advise contacting the numbers below

Samaritans – 18 50 60 90 90
1life – Freephone (24hrs) 1800 247 100 or text the word HELP to 51444

The best thing to remember is here loads of us know what its like to be where you are, I know I do. And it always seems when you're in that position that there is no way back, but there is. The best thing is that there is loads of help available out there and we are all more than capable of coming back from feeling like there is no way to feel good again. If you even ever need to talk on here I know basically anyone on the thread is open for a chat via PM or what have you and most people here and on those phone numbers have similar experiences like yours to share and help you out with.

Above all remain strong, you've done well so far and the hardest part is out of the way so just remain strong buddy.

Mysteriouschic

I'm stressed over everything, I missed my assignment deadline I skipped college all this week I'm back in my "I don't care about college" phase. I'm contemplating if I even want to stay in college I just don't enjoy academics I'm more of a doer. I already quit a course last year.

Timmyctc

Mysteriouschic wrote: »

I'm stressed over everything, I missed my assignment deadline I skipped college all this week I'm back in my "I don't care about college" phase. I'm contemplating if I even want to stay in college I just don't enjoy academics I'm more of a doer. I already quit a course last year.

I was like that myself in my final two years. Was about 2 months late on an essay and even missed the Final Final Deadline. Was so stressed didn't know how I'd explain to everyone that I wouldn't graduate. Luckily the college are almost always willing to help you submit work if you contact them and explain your situation. I mean. My essay was sooooo late and it was already a repeat essay so it was the summer time. Best thing to do is get in contact, let them know things are a bit stressful and just help them help you get it submitted. Most, if not all, lecturers just want the work submitted so they can grade you and pass you. It actually reflects poorly on the college if they are failing students which is why they will always look for ways to help you pass.

Mysteriouschic

Timmyctc wrote: »

I was like that myself in my final two years. Was about 2 months late on an essay and even missed the Final Final Deadline. Was so stressed didn't know how I'd explain to everyone that I wouldn't graduate. Luckily the college are almost always willing to help you submit work if you contact them and explain your situation. I mean. My essay was sooooo late and it was already a repeat essay so it was the summer time. Best thing to do is get in contact, let them know things are a bit stressful and just help them help you get it submitted. Most, if not all, lecturers just want the work submitted so they can grade you and pass you.

I've also not really attended any of this lecturers lectures because I've been stressed an got into a bad pattern at the start so I'm very nervous and anxious about saying anything as the first thing he'd say is you've not been in my class. I'm just not as bothered about the assignment as I was at the start.
I'm going to try speak to the learning support on Monday they already know although it was about 3 weeks ago when I spoke to them I ended up in this phase again.

Timmyctc

Mysteriouschic wrote: »

I've also not really attended any of this lecturers lectures because I've been stressed an got into a bad pattern at the start so I'm very nervous and anxious about saying anything as the first thing he'd say is you've not been in my class. I'm just not as bothered about the assignment as I was at the start.
I'm going to try speak to the learning support on Monday they already know although it was about 3 weeks ago when I spoke to them I ended up in this phase again.

Best thing is to, unfortunately, face it head on. Even if its just by email. Explain to the lecturer things have been getting a bit stressful (or a lot stressful whichever is more applicable) and that you've fallen behind in x, y and z and you want to catch up and let them know you'll be willing to do any work necessary. They are 99.99% more likely to outline what you need to do and how to do it than tell you, too bad. Definitely get in contact asap and don't let it build up anymore. Then you can revel in the relief when you get on top of things. (Which wont be too hard, trust me, it always feels like youve missed more than you have in college, chances are there are a whole lot like you out there)

I remember one time I missed a week and a half and was bricking it when I didnt quite follow the notes in my first lecture back, asked the guys sitting next to me and they said they missed 1 class and hadn't a clue either. :pac:

Mysteriouschic

I'll wait til Monday when I've spoken to the learning support . I'm thinking I may see a doctor try an get antidepressants or something I know my counsellor said she thought I was okay now but I was just in a positive phase I'm forever going through these phases .
I know what I need to write for the assignment it will just take a bit longer.

Timmyctc

Mysteriouschic wrote: »

I'll wait til Monday when I've spoken to the learning support . I'm thinking I may see a doctor try an get antidepressants or something I know my counsellor said she thought I was okay now but I was just in a positive phase I'm forever going through these phases .
I know what I need to write for the assignment it will just take a bit longer.

Good stuff. Don't let it get ye down. College staff are well aware of the stresses students go through.

delthedriver

cometogether wrote: »

I am depressed and want to kill myself

Well done on posting here. It takes great will power to do this

What is causing you to feel depressed?

What action have you taken in terms of speaking with a GP, Counsellor etc.

What medications are you taking now , if any?

Are you alone? Have you someone to talk to? Partner, Friend?

Have you spoken with Samaritans or Aware ?

No matter how bad things may seem, these awful lonely thoughts will pass.

If things don't change they will stay the same.

Trust me. I have been a regular poster in the past and have always received great support on this thread.

Do not be afraid to read over this thread . I know there have been people who posted similarly to you in the past and now some 12 months later their lives have turned around and they are now enjoying life.

My advice as a friend is to talk to Professionals, ie Doctor, Samaritans , Aware.

Please confirm that you will at least take the positive action as suggested above.:)

Kindest Wishes,

playedalive

Mysteriouschic wrote: »

I'm stressed over everything, I missed my assignment deadline I skipped college all this week I'm back in my "I don't care about college" phase. I'm contemplating if I even want to stay in college I just don't enjoy academics I'm more of a doer. I already quit a course last year.

Academics can be incredibly tough when you have Depression and/or anxiety. It can be quite an overwhelming place to be when sometimes you struggle to get out of bed in the first place rather than complete assignments/study.

Personally, I don't think academic life is not really for me. However, I see it as a means to an end in order to get the qualifications I need. I will need to go back to college eventually but will do a conversion masters in something I much prefer to my undergrad.

Drumpot

playedalive wrote: »

Academics can be incredibly tough when you have Depression and/or anxiety. It can be quite an overwhelming place to be when sometimes you struggle to get out of bed in the first place rather than complete assignments/study.

Personally, I don't think academic life is not really for me. However, I see it as a means to an end in order to get the qualifications I need. I will need to go back to college eventually but will do a conversion masters in something I much prefer to my undergrad.

That's because acamedical people may know as little about depression as the person suffering. They may have the age old ignorant response "snap out of it and get the head down".. My therapist said to me that in some cases the more intelligent you are the harder it can be to grasp the concept of CBT. In many cases intelligent people are incapable of taking advice or guidance from others, worse still if they don't agree with something they wont even try it!

Sometimes the simplest solution to a problem is the right one, but it can be the hardest to follow. When I was at my lowest I couldn't believe that a simple programme (like CBT) would be able to lift me out of the hole I was in. I thought that I would be medicated for life, consistently branded a waste of space and be a general let down to everybody I knew. That was the way my thinking was and like an addict who keeps referring to his drug of choice, I kept reverting back to my unhelpful thinking process for guidance.

When I was doing the lifeskills programme through Aware there was a professor fairly high up in Trinity college attending. He said that most of the faculty knew him as this outgoing chirpy fellow when the truth was that he was so unhappy inside that it was making his life harder and harder to go on.

I remember as the Lifeskills class continued he came out of his shell (you would of thought he was a quiet dorky person). But I think this was important. The lifeskills group wasn't people you see every day. It wasn't work colleagues or family who already have a pre conceived idea of the kind of person you are. I felt kind of free in the course because I could keep my mouth shut if I wanted or I could speak if I wanted. I could say things that I may not say to friends or family for fear of being ridiculed or looked down on. And one of the biggest things was that everybody else on the course was there because they were struggling to deal with their own lives. I didn't care if they judged me because they weren't in a position to judge!

Suicide has in the past crossed my mind, but I am extremely lucky in that I wanted to get better more then wanting to end things. I got fed up being a victim to my thoughts and was lucky that I put into practise the mental exercise that I never imagined would help me to find such a balanced way of life.

Its terrible to think that in this day and age people would feel so helpless and alone that suicide becomes a remotely enticing possibility, but I know at times it has certainly popped its head up in my thoughts. But for me, when this happens, its not something I entertain anymore. It don't take it that it means I have no way out of my emotional state at that time, I take it that it means I am unable to deal with my life on my own and that I need to get help. I take it to say that I am not thinking rationally and need somebody to help me get back on even ground.

TeddyTedson

I need to sleep so badly right now.

El_Dangeroso

cometogether wrote: »

I am depressed and want to kill myself

Please take a minute and read this.
http://www.metanoia.org/suicide/

Mysteriouschic

Does depression cause you to have stages of feeling motivated and positive and then the next week you can be completely unmotivated? Although I've noticed the reason I was so positive was because I knew there's was a week off from college and now it's back I'm in the unmotivated/negative feelings about it. I didn't go in today I took ages to sleep with the clocks going forward it messed my sleeping pattern I was also feeling a bit anxious about going into that lectures class when I hadn't done his assignment. I haven't checked my emails either . I'm going in tomorrow for sure need to make sure I can get an extension .
After hearing a lot of people tell me (not in the course) that some don't know what they want to do, or it's more of a stepping stone , I'm starting to feeling a lot better about it.
I was under the impression that everybody knows what they want to do as soon as they leave college having it all figured out.

Lone Stone

Mysteriouschic wrote: »

Does depression cause you to have stages of feeling motivated and positive and then the next week you can be completely unmotivated? Although I've noticed the reason I was so positive was because I knew there's was a week off from college and now it's back I'm in the unmotivated/negative feelings about it. I didn't go in today I took ages to sleep with the clocks going forward it messed my sleeping pattern I was also feeling a bit anxious about going into that lectures class when I hadn't done his assignment. I haven't checked my emails either . I'm going in tomorrow for sure need to make sure I can get an extension .
After hearing a lot of people tell me (not in the course) that some don't know what they want to do, or it's more of a stepping stone , I'm starting to feeling a lot better about it.
I was under the impression that everybody knows what they want to do as soon as they leave college having it all figured out.

yep it does, bane of my life !

delthedriver

El_Dangeroso wrote: »

Please take a minute and read this.
http://www.metanoia.org/suicide/

Excellent Link . Well done! Thanks


Recommend everyone should take 5 minutes to read it

Chiquitita

El_Dangeroso wrote: »

Please take a minute and read this.
http://www.metanoia.org/suicide/

Strange, one night in November I was feeling reeeeeally bad and that was one of the first things I came across when I googled. It gave me some relief reading it and I read it every now and then even now.

playedalive

Drumpot wrote: »

That's because acamedical people may know as little about depression as the person suffering.

My experience of academics/lecturers is that they can live in their own comfy world that is far removed from reality. Luckily I knew a few with people skills and were really helpful.

Today, I'm feeling a bit better after my stressful last week. Kinda nervous about starting my temporary job. But I am as prepared as I can be. Hope the little teenage monsters I'll be teaching English to, will be nice.

Mysteriouschic

Texted my learning support person cause they were busy today I just need to fill in a form I had a look on the website I only get 5 days of an extension from the assessment date and 5 days from last Thursday is today.
I feel like maybe I should just repeat this semester next year. I'm just behind in everything.