LETS ALL LAUGH AT PEOPLE WITH DEPRESSION!!

Penny Tration

With regards to suicide, I can understand why people do it.

I have bi-polar and anxiety. I've struggled with them since I was a teenager. There were ao many times I attempted and contemplated suicide. Thankfully, I never succeeded.

It's hard knowing I'll have bipolar forever. That no matter how under control I get it (and I work my ass off to do so), there will always be times I need more treatment, more medication, more therapy.

I've chosen to never have kids, because I cannot take the risk of developing post natal depression.

KKnowing that I have a lifelong, incurable (though thankfully, treatable) illness like bipolar is hard. Knowing there will come times where all I want is to sleep until I forget everything where I can't bring myself to get out of bed, enjoy life, do anything really.

That's fcuking hard.

I'm at a stage now where I don't want to die. For me, the good times in my life are worth dealing with the bad.

I can see why it isn't for others, though. To know you will never be fully, 100% mentally healthy? Well, I can see why some choose to not live like that.

DeVore

Depression isnt forever though. I could understand if the person had Motor Neurons Disease, then I would accept their clear headed choice.... but during a bad bout of depression I try not to even make simple decisions if I can help it because I know my thinking isnt clear at that point. I certainly dont make decisions about relationships or the future.
Depression can pass, it can be managed, it can change and go away (or come back) so its not a life sentence. Suicide on the other hand, is kinda permanent.

Penny Tration

DeVore wrote: »

Depression isnt forever though. I could understand if the person had Motor Neurons Disease, then I would accept their clear headed choice.... but during a bad bout of depression I try not to even make simple decisions if I can help it because I know my thinking isnt clear at that point. I certainly dont make decisions about relationships or the future.
Depression can pass, it can be managed, it can change and go away (or come back) so its not a life sentence. Suicide on the other hand, is kinda permanent.

For some people, depression is forever. Sure, it might go away, but then it can come back.

If you've been fighting it for years, I can understand why people think they'll have it for life.

Like you, I don't make any decisions when I'm in a bad place, because I know they won't be logical decisions. It can take a lot for a person to control themselves that much, though.

As for things like schizophrenia and bipolar, they're pretty much always lifelong conditions, so again, I can understand somebody choosing not to live with it. It's not a decision I'd make personally, but I can understand it.

The One Doctor

DeVore wrote: »

Depression isnt forever though. I could understand if the person had Motor Neurons Disease, then I would accept their clear headed choice.... but during a bad bout of depression I try not to even make simple decisions if I can help it because I know my thinking isnt clear at that point. I certainly dont make decisions about relationships or the future.
Depression can pass, it can be managed, it can change and go away (or come back) so its not a life sentence. Suicide on the other hand, is kinda permanent.

Well said. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

Penny Tration

The One Doctor wrote: »

Well said. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

Except in cases where the problem isn't temporary. Like lifelong illness, terminal illness..

whirlpool

I strongnly disagree with the backlash against pedro's post. It eventually came across as a bandwagon-backlash more than anything. The responses were also clearly driven by emotion rather than rational discussion.

Maybe a thread for people who are suffering with depression wasn't a good place for him to express that particular opinion, but the backlash didn't really make a lot of sense, and some of it was contradictory of itself in certain instances.

His point/opinion was that suicide is not a selfish act. The responses which followed were as if he was encouraging suicide. That's complete nonsense.

Turtwig

The One Doctor wrote: »

Well said. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

Really really do not like this phrase. It's great for folks who haven't any foggy vision but putting 'suicide' and 'solution' together in an affirmative statement is not a good idea. To get what I mean, I'll quote mine it.

"Suicide is a . . . solution."

Not the choice of wording you want people at a very vulnerable state to be reading. Not only that but for people with lifelong depression it's about learning to manage their condition. Ascribing that condition to a 'temporary' state is kind of negating the person's own experiences.

lukesmom

I has a friend who had bipolar. He was medicated for it and was admitted to hospital several times during his manic or depressive phases. They changed his meds around a few times. He was living in another country, away from his family alone in a flat. He took his own life a couple of years ago. To say I was shocked is an understatement. He was highly intelligent and very witty. I spent countless hours discussing his illness with him. I don't think suicide is selfish but I do know that bipolar can be controlled. I know plenty with bipolar that lead normal everyday lives. They have lots of support though.

handbagmad

Had a huge panic attack yesterday. And one today-though not as bad.
Trying as was told in therapy to push myself out of my comfort zone but when I do the above happens.

May have ruined a new relationship(happened Infront of him yesterday) I thought I wanted someone in my life to hold and love me. While with him I completely lost it. Couldn't wait to get away n be on my own. Couldn't stand him being so close.

The f--k is wrong with me.
Im in a hell of my own doing. My head heart and body is all over the place. So tired but my mind is in over drive

Im so fcuked up

JupiterKid

My anxiety has been very bad since my Dad's death in early July and I was numbing it by drinking booze to excess - and by excess I mean real excess.

I've come to understand that the anxiety and alcohol abuse is inter-related to one another and so I took the step of admitting myself to St John of God hospital on their 28 day alcohol programme.

I really hope it gives me the help I badly need.

DeVore

That's a great first step and if you want to get better I believe you will. We're here if you want to tell us how things are going.

cena

If someone gets a referral to a psychiatric day unit, does it mean they well be brought to stay over etc.

lukesmom

cena wrote: »

If someone gets a referral to a psychiatric day unit, does it mean they well be brought to stay over etc.

No. A day unit is where people come and spend the day there to avail of mental health services.

JupiterKid

Thanks for the well wishes guys. I now can go out of my ward and explore the hospital grounds. Yay!!:)

cena

lukesmom wrote: »

No. A day unit is where people come and spend the day there to avail of mental health services.

You to spend the day there. What if it is only an appointment

Menas

JupiterKid wrote: »

Thanks for the well wishes guys. I now can go out of my ward and explore the hospital grounds. Yay!!:)

Good luck with your program Jupiter. Life is hard enough at times without being a slave an addiction, so embrace it and start to enjoy your new sober life. Use the 28 days to properly grieve for your dad, hard thing to do but it will help.

Gongoozler

cena wrote: »

You to spend the day there. What if it is only an appointment

I imagine it's like an appointment anywhere... Why would it be different

handbagmad

I need a good swift kick up the backside.
Feeling absolutely ****e, no energy or motivation.
I don't feel anything
Happiness and normality seem so long away

cena

Gongoozler wrote: »

I imagine it's like an appointment anywhere... Why would it be different

I would it is to talk to the person. They hardly going to keep you there if its an evening appointment

lukesmom

cena wrote: »

You to spend the day there. What if it is only an appointment

Then you don't spend the day there...

greenpilot

Hi Folks,

I re-recorded this song tonight as folks asked me to do a version which is more accessible. I had posted it here a year ago, but here is a clearer version.
I hope it encompasses what we all feel sometimes within.
Its called "The State of my head"
Here is the link. Close your eyes and enjoy. Regards, Paul K

https://soundcloud.com/paul-kirwan-2/the-state-of-my-head

pedro1234

whirlpool wrote: »

I strongnly disagree with the backlash against pedro's post. It eventually came across as a bandwagon-backlash more than anything. The responses were also clearly driven by emotion rather than rational discussion.

Maybe a thread for people who are suffering with depression wasn't a good place for him to express that particular opinion, but the backlash didn't really make a lot of sense, and some of it was contradictory of itself in certain instances.

His point/opinion was that suicide is not a selfish act. The responses which followed were as if he was encouraging suicide. That's complete nonsense.

Thank you for the voice of reason. I thought the backlash was emotionally driven as well. I appreciate it.

lukesmom

pedro1234 wrote: »

Thank you for the voice of reason. I thought the backlash was emotionally driven as well. I appreciate it.

I'm sure when De-Vore began this thread it was to help and encourage others to speak up and share our feelings about our mental health issues . I seriously doubt he wanted us to argue amongst each other about such a devestating topic. I spoke about my own thoughts of suicide and how I fought against it and managed to avoid it several times. I also spoke about two friends who took their own lives. Perhaps my comments were drivin by emotion. It's just that I've been there so many times and know there is always hope . I guess people just lose the hope and the will to live. I'd never ever call them selfish. I believe that psychology sessions are paramount to keeping people alive. Medication on it's own is not enough in my opinion. I've even been asked to join a panel in my local mental health centre, to be an advocate for the use of psychology and all the benefits it brings because I believe it seriously contributed to saving my life .

Timmyctc

Just over a month (maybe 2) ago I was committed for a fortnight (had to watch the latter stages of the world cup from a mental ward ) It was totally rejuvenating (for about 20 mins after I left :pac: ) and I have been consistently feeling worse since. Have to travel back to Galway for a follow up appointment on Thursday and I really do not feel up for it. Couple this with coming down with the flu and everything has wrapped itself up in a nice depressing little package.
I think I've been in bed for about 30 something of the past 48 hours or so. On the plus side I've nearly finished Half life 2 so I have that going for me.
/rant

Gremlinertia

Timmyctc wrote: »

Just over a month (maybe 2) ago I was committed for a fortnight (had to watch the latter stages of the world cup from a mental ward ) It was totally rejuvenating (for about 20 mins after I left :pac: ) and I have been consistently feeling worse since. Have to travel back to Galway for a follow up appointment on Thursday and I really do not feel up for it. Couple this with coming down with the flu and everything has wrapped itself up in a nice depressing little package. /rant

I have never actually stayed as inpatient but have been attending Galway day hospital on and off. Hopefully you have a decent mental health service back up wherever you are? Coming out of care, be it a few hours with community nurse or staying in hospital is a vulnerable kind of time.. Do you have friends or family for support? Also, feel free to pm me if you want..

Timmyctc

Gremlinertia wrote: »

I have never actually stayed as inpatient but have been attending day hospital on and off. Hopefully you have a decent mental health service back up wherever you are? Coming out of care, be it a few hours with community nurse or staying in hospital is a vulnerable kind of time.. Do you have friends or family for support? Also, feel free to pm me if you want..

Oh I have a long and complicated story to follow all that up. :P Suffice to say the people are there for me to talk to. I just don't feel comfortable talking to anyone.
Well not anyone but. Basically anyone. Sorta took for granted those that I didn't feel 100% uncomfortable talking to. I had follow up appointments after my stay offsite but I missed one, broke my phone, lost my counselors number, had a bit of a break down, couldn't contact her then went home to Donegal for a while instead. Its all a whole hassle tbh. I didn't quite like my psychologist in the hospital either but beggars can't be choosers and that.

Hope you're finding the whole day hospital thing good. It was actually quite nice as an inpatient there.

Gremlinertia

Oh I've managed to slip out of the system again somehow. No follow up letter lately.. It's been patchy but I want to stick with it.. Maybe if you are in the right kinda age group you could be in contact with my mind, jigsaw or pieta.

Been a while since I last posted here. I've been a lot stricter with myself recently when it comes to Efexor - previously I would occasionally let it slip for a few days, not intentionally but because I would simply forget to take it. It's amazing how as little as two days off it can completely alter my mental state. It's kind of scary how the effect can be that drastic! Though on the plus side at least I guess it means they're having some sort of effect and I haven't just been popping sugar pills for the past few years....

In about a week or so I'm due to go from 225 mg down to 150 mg. Last time I talked to my doctor I realised that my greatest problems these days are circumstantial rather than intrinsic - it's being at home and unable to find a job and feeling socially isolated that's the main issue with me right now. I now have reasons for being down, rather than being down for no reason as I had often done before. I cannot overstate just how frustrating my current life prospects are right now - I recently did the best job interview of my life, which lasted almost an hour and encompassed everything from an indepth description of the company to a discussion of my salary, starting date etc., only to have my recruiter ring me and tell me that I didn't get it. I apparently did a great interview and really impressed them......but that means fúck all because I was obviously not as good as somebody else. :rolleyes: No matter how good I am, or how well I do, or how hard I try, there's always somebody better. It's so disheartening to know that I gave 100% and still failed. Facing rejection after you know you've fúcked up is one thing, but when you actually did your best and it's still not enough.....it feels a whole lot worse tbh.

The upside is that I feel like I'll be ok if I dig myself out of this rut, and I'm actually able to dig these days rather than lie down unable to move.....however, the longer I'm in this rut, the harder it's gonna be to dig and I'm afraid it will eventually reach a stage where I'm effectively trying to dig my way to Australia using a spoon and the sheer effort is gonna burn me out.

DeVore

Homer, I've interviewed hundreds of of people in my professional career. Let me give you a few home truths from the other side of the table...

If you were there for more than 5 minutes, they were interested. If I'm not interested in a candidate (and lets face it, its like dating, you know within a few minutes if its even possible or not)... then I ship them out of the office asap. I am busy, I'm sure they are too and its not you its me don't call us we'll call you.
Conversely the ONLY people I keep in an interview for an hour are the very few I'm actually serious about choosing from. I have 8 hours in my day, you think I'm going to interview 8 people per day?? HAhah.. no, the good ones get 20 minutes, the real candidates get an hour, the rest get the door in the ass.

But ultimately it comes down to one job, one person. I've had candidates for jobs and I swear, there was absolutely NO BASIS to make a decision between them. Really... you end up choosing one over the other for the most ridiculous of reasons. I liked his/her accent more than the other guy/gal. Dangerous hobby, might get injured. Too much *aftershave*. Seriously, the reasons are usually so ridiculously paper thin that I have sometimes simply taken the prospective candidates CV's. thrown them in the air and whichever one I didn't have to reach far for got the job. When you have whittled it down to 5 people, that tends to be as fair a way of differentiating them as any other post-rationale excuse for a reason.

So that's what I would say to you. If you were there for an hour, you didn't just do ok, you did GREAT. You were in the CV Toss. You definitely were a candidate. After that, f*ck knows why they chose someone else... but no one gets to stay in an interview for an hour without being a strong candidate.

pedro1234

DeVore wrote: »

Homer, I've interviewed hundreds of of people in my professional career. Let me give you a few home truths from the other side of the table...

If you were there for more than 5 minutes, they were interested. If I'm not interested in a candidate (and lets face it, its like dating, you know within a few minutes if its even possible or not)... then I ship them out of the office asap. I am busy, I'm sure they are too and its not you its me don't call us we'll call you.
Conversely the ONLY people I keep in an interview for an hour are the very few I'm actually serious about choosing from. I have 8 hours in my day, you think I'm going to interview 8 people per day?? HAhah.. no, the good ones get 20 minutes, the real candidates get an hour, the rest get the door in the ass.

But ultimately it comes down to one job, one person. I've had candidates for jobs and I swear, there was absolutely NO BASIS to make a decision between them. Really... you end up choosing one over the other for the most ridiculous of reasons. I liked his/her accent more than the other guy/gal. Dangerous hobby, might get injured. Too much *aftershave*. Seriously, the reasons are usually so ridiculously paper thin that I have sometimes simply taken the prospective candidates CV's. thrown them in the air and whichever one I didn't have to reach far for got the job. When you have whittled it down to 5 people, that tends to be as fair a way of differentiating them as any other post-rationale excuse for a reason.

So that's what I would say to you. If you were there for an hour, you didn't just do ok, you did GREAT. You were in the CV Toss. You definitely were a candidate. After that, f*ck knows why they chose someone else... but no one gets to stay in an interview for an hour without being a strong candidate.

Spot on. I interview people all the time. I'm brought in as the "technical guy" and I ask all of the hard questions. People don't get to me unless they've passed the first few rounds of interviews, and I usually grill them for an hour. I've cut interviews short, quite often do in fact. If you're with me for an hour you have the job or you're in the final toss up. Sometimes it has come down to rapport between two candidates. It can be as silly as that.