LETS ALL LAUGH AT PEOPLE WITH DEPRESSION!!

DeVore

A. The vodka is a truly terrible plan and you know it

B. Does it have to be that doctor? Can you not ask for a second opinion or go to a different doctor? I'm pretty sure any doctors cert would have to be considered as valid.

sunshine and showers

If you weren't depressed already, the cost of antidepressants would do the trick... Can't wait until the patent on my stuff runs out. So tired of the monthly rip-off. :rolleyes:

0byme75341jo28

DeVore wrote: »

A. The vodka is a truly terrible plan and you know it

I only want to chill out a bit, although I agree it's not a good idea. I don't plan on getting plastered or anything. Famous last words.... I'll try my best to distract myself through other means.

B. Does it have to be that doctor? Can you not ask for a second opinion or go to a different doctor? I'm pretty sure any doctors cert would have to be considered as valid.

No, it does not have to be this doctor afaik (unless I need a letter from my GP, then it must be him), although he's very helpful besides this issue I'm having with him. I'll try to get him to write it again next week, I'm starting to think that he's not taking me very seriously though.

looking_around

Cora Melodic Seed wrote: »

Are doctors allowed refuse to write you a medical cert? I want to defer a year of college because I'm finding it extremely difficult to keep myself going in, and even when I go in there I can't concentrate and feel very bad in general, it basically wasn't doing any good for me and with the amount of work I missed my chances of failing are very high. Anyway, he won't write me a cert so I can defer the year even though the first-year coordinator in college agreed that giving myself a year to sort my head out would be the best option. Can I do anything about it besides trying to get him to change his mind? I really can't deal with college this year, I'm not going back there anyway even if he does continue to refuse to write the cert. The amount of stress this is causing me is worrying and making me feel much much worse than I have before. I just feel like getting hold of some vodka later on and trying to forget all this, it's too much.

Ask your doctor to refer you to a psychiatrist and get them to state that you need to take a year out for medical reasons.

You could also switch GP's, explaining to the new GP the problem.

Did your GP give a reason for refusing you?

(Stay away from the drink though, it will not make your stress disappear and makes everything harder to deal with.)

0byme75341jo28

looking_around wrote: »

Ask your doctor to refer you to a psychiatrist and get them to state that you need to take a year out for medical reasons.

You could also switch GP's, explaining to the new GP the problem.

Did your GP give a reason for refusing you?

(Stay away from the drink though, it will not make your stress disappear and makes everything harder to deal with.)

He's referring me to "someone" (I can't remember what he called it, one of those psych people).

He said I'd be better off in college, no other reason. That's fair enough, but I'm going to get punished financially if he doesn't write me that letter, I can't afford to pay the few grand needed to drop out for non-medical reasons. I will go to another doctor if he's being stubborn.

wexie

DeVore wrote: »

As for fondling my kidney meridian lines, I'm not entirely sure about that ... I've no idea where to find them but I'm generally willing to fondle anything and everything ! :eek:

Take your foot in your hand and squeeze the top of it sideways, you should see a crease in the middle, now try to bend over your toes a bit and that should create another crease, where the two intersect is where to rub with a bit of gentle pressure

http://www.chiro.org/ACAPress/GRAPHICS/Fig_3_16.gif

looking_around

Cora Melodic Seed wrote: »

He's referring me to "someone" (I can't remember what he called it, one of those psych people).

He said I'd be better off in college, no other reason. That's fair enough, but I'm going to get punished financially if he doesn't write me that letter, I can't afford to pay the few grand needed to drop out for non-medical reasons. I will go to another doctor if he's being stubborn.

Yeah, it seems, he thinks you're better off doing something... perhaps you can tell him, you want to do something, a little less stressful but don't want to lose your current place/funding for college?

Say it's just too much, but you're not exactly planning to stay at home all day?

I knew someone who took 2 years out of uni, signed up for a FAS computer course for people with disabilities. So they still had somewhere they were meant to be, still had to leave the house and whatnot, but didn't have to deal with any real stress. Perhaps something to look into, and explain to your doctor?

0byme75341jo28

looking_around wrote: »

Yeah, it seems, he thinks you're better off doing something... perhaps you can tell him, you want to do something, a little less stressful but don't want to lose your current place/funding for college?

Say it's just too much, but you're not exactly planning to stay at home all day?

I knew someone who took 2 years out of uni, signed up for a FAS computer course for people with disabilities. So they still had somewhere they were meant to be, still had to leave the house and whatnot, but didn't have to deal with any real stress. Perhaps something to look into, and explain to your doctor?

I've explained the situation to him, it doesn't seem to have changed his opinion. I might go in with one of my parents next week (I can do that if I want can't I?), they're quite worried about me so it might help if he can speak to one of them. It's nearly affecting them as much as me to be honest.

I don't want to do nothing, I just can't deal with the stress of college, I was going mental in there. I was planning on doing a few short courses, learning some computer stuff so I'll be more ready when I go back to college next year, and maybe building a computer/fixing some for relatives. Just stuff to keep myself occupied like. I've had some really rough days since I started college, it'll only get worse if I keep going in there.

He's also afraid I'll be more anxious about going back next year than I am this year, I don't agree to be honest but he doesn't really seem to believe me. I know he has my best interests at heart, but, frankly, I don't care.

looking_around

Cora Melodic Seed wrote: »

I've explained the situation to him, it doesn't seem to have changed his opinion. I might go in with one of my parents next week (I can do that if I want can't I?), they're quite worried about me so it might help if he can speak to one of them. It's nearly affecting them as much as me to be honest.

I don't want to do nothing, I just can't deal with the stress of college, I was going mental in there. I was planning on doing a few short courses, learning some computer stuff so I'll be more ready when I go back to college next year, and maybe building a computer/fixing some for relatives. Just stuff to keep myself occupied like. I've had some really rough days since I started college, it'll only get worse if I keep going in there.

He's also afraid I'll be more anxious about going back next year than I am this year, I don't agree to be honest but he doesn't really seem to believe me. I know he has my best interests at heart, but, frankly, I don't care.

Suggest to him that the time out will be used to do a FAS course geared for people with disabilities. (that includes mental illness and stress.) There's some decent enough, really easy going courses. I took part in one, finishing school as I felt I wasn't ready for uni.
(or anything,really, volunteering somewhere etc.)

If you're doing something, it should prevent the anxiety building up for next year (as you won't be staying at home all day long.) Could explain this to him?

and yes, you can bring your parents along. Just let your doctor know that you plan on bringing them in and what can and can't be discussed.

And at worst, see a different doctor.

Roquentin

Cora Melodic Seed wrote: »

I've explained the situation to him, it doesn't seem to have changed his opinion. I might go in with one of my parents next week (I can do that if I want can't I?), they're quite worried about me so it might help if he can speak to one of them. It's nearly affecting them as much as me to be honest.

I don't want to do nothing, I just can't deal with the stress of college, I was going mental in there. I was planning on doing a few short courses, learning some computer stuff so I'll be more ready when I go back to college next year, and maybe building a computer/fixing some for relatives. Just stuff to keep myself occupied like. I've had some really rough days since I started college, it'll only get worse if I keep going in there.

He's also afraid I'll be more anxious about going back next year than I am this year, I don't agree to be honest but he doesn't really seem to believe me. I know he has my best interests at heart, but, frankly, I don't care.

in fairness i think he is approaching it from the point of view that if you are active it will ward off the anxiety. lets say you leave college and just sat around doing nothing, the boredom would cause anxiety to surface.

if you tell if you are planning on doing other courses to alleviate the boredom and kill the time, id imagine he would give you the cert.

0byme75341jo28

Roquentin wrote: »

in fairness i think he is approaching it from the point of view that if you are active it will ward off the anxiety. lets say you leave college and just sat around doing nothing, the boredom would cause anxiety to surface.

if you tell if you are planning on doing other courses to alleviate the boredom and kill the time, id imagine he would give you the cert.

I understand his thinking, and appreciate that he wants to help me, but it's just not what's best for me imo.

Anyway, cheers for the advice guys. Kinda took over the thread there for a while

Interrobang

This is my first time posting here, and it's a big step for me, but last night for whatever reason I found myself in a place where I was ready to reach out on a thread that has helped me so, so much, so I'm going to just grab hold of that and run with it.

So, I suffer from depression. (That's actually the very first time I've committed that to writing.) I suffer from depression, and have done to one degree or another since I was in my teens. I'm now 41, so that's a long time to go without seeking help and I've some catching up to do.

In fairness, for a very, very long time I wasn't even aware that I suffered from depression. I wasn't a stroppy, moody or rebellious teenager. Quite the opposite, in fact - I was a good student and good daughter, hard on myself, eager to please, followed the rules. From the outside I had a good circle of friends, but I always felt on the outside of the group, and found it hard to feel part of anything. I swung between feeling removed from everything that was going on around me to feeling completely overwhelmed. One of my strongest abiding memories during those periods of being overwhelmed, when the most insignificant thing would reduce me to a sobbing heap for no apparent reason, was being told that I'd "need to toughen up", that there was "no need for that nonsense". The periods of detachment in between were almost a relief. In a strange way, I think I found comfort in drawing back into my shell, even though at the same time the nothingness was just awful.

My worst period before now was in college. I'm a master at self-sabotage, and then I constantly beat myself up for not being good enough. I'd made it through my Masters with a first, having held down two jobs at the same time (I don't know, maybe being so busy was good for me). I was awarded a scholarship to fund my PhD, which meant that I could concentrate solely on my work. You'd think that would be fantastic validation, wouldn't you? Nope. I completely imploded and withdrew from the world.

For a full year, my biggest achievement in any day was making it from the bed to the sofa. If I had to interact with anyone, it was like being asked to scale the Eiger with toothpicks. And yet I hid it so well on the occasions when I had no alternative but to step outside the door. No one aside from my husband (then my partner) knew that I wasn't doing well, and even then he thought I was just generally unwell because I kept the worst from him too. Of course, he's all too well aware of it now, and has been fantastically patient and supportive, but he can't do the one thing he'd love to be able to do, which is to 'fix' things for me.

It's only looking back now that I realise that I was hiding it from myself too. The deeper I slipped into depression, the more I beat myself up for being lazy, for not working, for being a failure. I couldn't comprehend how I'd gone from being an overachiever to being a useless waste of space. I stopped functioning, I never finished my PhD, and to this day I still consider myself an abject failure because of that.

I moved to Cork with my husband when a career opportunity arose for him, I started a different life and a different career, and blocked out everything that had gone before. In other words, I ran away. That was about ten years ago, and since then, between the periods when I haven't felt numb, I've been incredibly lonely. It's hard moving somewhere new as an adult, when everyone there already has an established group of friends, but it's even harder when you die a little inside at the thoughts of interacting and socialising.

Initially, the move gave me a bit of a lift, but it's been a steady decline since then, with some really, really difficult troughs. About two months ago, I hit the lowest and darkest I've ever been. It was a wake-up call, but I don't think I'd have recognised that if I hadn't been lurking on this thread. During that time, and during a particularly shīt day at work, I broke down in front of a colleague - thankfully the right colleague, who referred me to a counsellor. I kept the first appointment, and it was exhausting and left me completely drained. But I think it did me some good too, and I've gone back for a number of sessions since.

Today, I rang to make an appointment to see my GP, and will go and talk to her tomorrow. I did see a previous GP when I first moved to Cork and began to emerge from the lost college years. At the time he prescribed Lustral, but I didn't take it, ran scared, and told myself I was fine.

Sorry, this turned out to be a longer post than I anticipated, but it's been a long time coming. For nearly 30 years I've been lying to myself that I'm 'fine'. I'm not fine, far from it, but for the first time ever I'm kind of fine with that, if that makes sense. I'm feeling a little bit brave. Mostly scared, but still brave, and ready to ask for help. And this thread has been a massive, massive part of getting to that stage, so thank you to everyone who has posted here.

Here's to keeping my appointment with my GP tomorrow, and to not copping out and pretending I'm there for something else.

Donkey Oaty

Very best of luck to you, Interrobang - hope you can continue to share your thoughts whatever happens.

Esel

Interrobang, print out your post and bring it with you to the GP. Let them read it. Then go from there.

If they suggest an AD, don't be afraid of that. Be prepared to stick with the medication for up to 8 weeks or more before you notice an improvement in mood. It might happen quicker than that, but if the doctor says 2 weeks, say to yourself 'at the earliest'. Get talking to your pharmacist, as they are a great source of advice.

Ask the doctor and your pharmacist about Vitamin B6 & B12 supplements.

wexie

Cora Melodic Seed wrote: »

I don't want to do nothing, I just can't deal with the stress of college, I was going mental in there

Now, the last thing I would want to do is introduce more uncertainty in your life but.....if you're finding college such a challenge are you sure it's the right course for you? (both as in course and path to take).

I would never talk someone who wants an education out of it but it's not for everyone, regardless of intelligence it takes a certain mind set to get through college.

I myself have been tested as highly intelligent (some have said perhaps it's part of my problem ) but have started college twice and could never really hack it.

NOW.....maybe that was because both times were courses I really had no interest in but were suggested/expected by family.....(wink wink nudge nudge?) or maybe it's because academia simply wasn't for me or maybe it was because (already) at the time I was affected by depression.

Either way it's something to have a very serious think about.

0byme75341jo28

wexie wrote: »

Now, the last thing I would want to do is introduce more uncertainty in your life but.....if you're finding college such a challenge are you sure it's the right course for you? (both as in course and path to take).

I would never talk someone who wants an education out of it but it's not for everyone, regardless of intelligence it takes a certain mind set to get through college.

I myself have been tested as highly intelligent (some have said perhaps it's part of my problem ) but have started college twice and could never really hack it.

NOW.....maybe that was because both times were courses I really had no interest in but were suggested/expected by family.....(wink wink nudge nudge?) or maybe it's because academia simply wasn't for me or maybe it was because (already) at the time I was affected by depression.

Either way it's something to have a very serious think about.

(Not to sound arrogant) but I would consider myself academically gifted, and a hard worker, I love education. The course is what I've always wanted to do, still convinced that it is, and I've always enjoyed a challenge. The commitment though, is too great for me in my current frame of mind. If I was doing something like English (I know this is presumptuous) I may have been better because I have a natural flair for the subject, but with computer science there was an awful lot of new concepts to pick up and a large amount of it involved a lot of work in my head, which isn't easy when I could hardly concentrate on what the person beside me was saying.

I dunno, maybe college isn't for me, but I'll have a better idea in that regard when my head's in a better place, for now I just want to get myself feeling better.

guitarzero

Typical day, an argument with my mother who still believes depression is a choice. She's fed up, which is fair, she thinks I choose depression, very unfair. Anyway...

Roquentin

Cora Melodic Seed wrote: »

(Not to sound arrogant) but I would consider myself academically gifted, and a hard worker, I love education. The course is what I've always wanted to do, still convinced that it is, and I've always enjoyed a challenge. The commitment though, is too great for me in my current frame of mind. If I was doing something like English (I know this is presumptuous) I may have been better because I have a natural flair for the subject, but with computer science there was an awful lot of new concepts to pick up and a large amount of it involved a lot of work in my head, which isn't easy when I could hardly concentrate on what the person beside me was saying.

I dunno, maybe college isn't for me, but I'll have a better idea in that regard when my head's in a better place, for now I just want to get myself feeling better.

the thing is though that college is far different from the working environment.
I got a degree in accounting but i couldnt handle the stress of the professional setting. college doesnt give a good account of what the real world is like because in college you generally work alone. Furthermore the stress is what i couldnt handle in the professional setting also.

Like wexie was saying one may be academically gifted but if they cannot handle the stress or have poor communication skills they will find the professional setting tough.

i would agree, college is not for everyone but the youth in ireland today kind of get thrown into it without say.

Roquentin

wexie wrote: »

Now, the last thing I would want to do is introduce more uncertainty in your life but.....if you're finding college such a challenge are you sure it's the right course for you? (both as in course and path to take).

I would never talk someone who wants an education out of it but it's not for everyone, regardless of intelligence it takes a certain mind set to get through college.

I myself have been tested as highly intelligent (some have said perhaps it's part of my problem ) but have started college twice and could never really hack it.

NOW.....maybe that was because both times were courses I really had no interest in but were suggested/expected by family.....(wink wink nudge nudge?) or maybe it's because academia simply wasn't for me or maybe it was because (already) at the time I was affected by depression.

Either way it's something to have a very serious think about.

yea i think the best thing you can discover in life is yourself and then go from there. when i went to college i was convinced i could do this. it wasnt until many years later that i realized i couldnt

cristali

guitarzero wrote: »

Typical day, an argument with my mother who still believes depression is a choice. She's fed up, which is fair, she thinks I choose depression, very unfair. Anyway...

Just try not to add that to your depression, is very tough when family doesn't really understand what you're going through on a daily basis, sometimes that can put us down even more...has she actually searched about depression ...try to talk to her

Interrobang

Sitting in the waiting room at my GP's practice, waiting to go in. Just checking in here to remind myself why I made this appointment, and to make sure I don't bottle it.

cristali

Interrobang wrote: »

Sitting in the waiting room at my GP's practice, waiting to go in. Just checking in here to remind myself why I made this appointment, and to make sure I don't bottle it.

You made the right choice to see your gp, I'm 30 and think I suffered with depression my entire life but now I just couldn't handle it anymore, even if I'm not taking my tablets I'm learning to adjust and accept myself ...I identify a lot with your life story especially that I moved over here 10 years ago ...this is the start of you getting to know yourself again . Good luck

sunshine and showers

Interrobang wrote: »

Sitting in the waiting room at my GP's practice, waiting to go in. Just checking in here to remind myself why I made this appointment, and to make sure I don't bottle it.

You should be very proud of yourself. Best of luck!

Interrobang

So I went through with it. I spoke with my GP, and ended up in there with her for a good 45 minutes. My head is a bit too full right now to put together a proper post, but until I do, thanks again to everyone on this thread. I've been lurking here a long time, summoning up the courage to do this, and drawing strength from other posters' stories is what got me into that office today. Thank you.

efb

Not in a great head space today- Gaga concert later and right now, I just don't want to go. Going home and climbing into my bed seems way more appealing

guitarzero

cristali wrote: »

Just try not to add that to your depression, is very tough when family doesn't really understand what you're going through on a daily basis, sometimes that can put us down even more...has she actually searched about depression ...try to talk to her

Thanks. Yeah, it really boils down to stubborn refusal and denial. Same thing every time.

wexie

Interrobang wrote: »

Sitting in the waiting room at my GP's practice, waiting to go in. Just checking in here to remind myself why I made this appointment, and to make sure I don't bottle it.

You can't bottle it, just try to not put on your brave face and be honest.
Biggest thing I've seen people do (myself included) 'ah shure I'm grand'. 'Not too bad' 'grand thanks'.

DeVore

Interrobang wrote: »

So I went through with it. I spoke with my GP, and ended up in there with her for a good 45 minutes. My head is a bit too full right now to put together a proper post, but until I do, thanks again to everyone on this thread. I've been lurking here a long time, summoning up the courage to do this, and drawing strength from other posters' stories is what got me into that office today. Thank you.

That's great!!
Yeah, when I started to fight back and accept who I am and deal with this, my head kinda unravelled a bit... kinda in a nice way but also kinda scary because a lot of things I had just plastered over with "im fine, leave me alone" sorta came to the surface. But after the initial turbulence you can begin to fly straight. Today was a HUGE day, welcome to the journey.

wexie

DeVore wrote: »

That's great!!
Yeah, when I started to fight back and accept who I am and deal with this, my head kinda unravelled a bit... kinda in a nice way but also kinda scary because a lot of things I had just plastered over with "im fine, leave me alone" sorta came to the surface.

I feel this is my big problem at the moment, at some stage I'll have to go back to work (although turns out my employer have some form of income protection insurance so thankfully I don't need to worry about money (too much)) and I can't for the life of me imagine how I can ever go back to my old job. Then I think about what it is I could go back to and can't think of a single sensible thing (swedish under 21 ladies beach volleyball team apparently already have a coach:().

The more I think about it the more I feel I've spent the last 30 odd years living the life people expected me to live, making the choices I was expected to take.

Now that it's time to take inventory of where I'm at I feel like I've no idea who I actually am or where I go from here

looking_around

efb wrote: »

Not in a great head space today- Gaga concert later and right now, I just don't want to go. Going home and climbing into my bed seems way more appealing

Always feels like it, Never actually is.