LETS ALL LAUGH AT PEOPLE WITH DEPRESSION!!

Gongoozler

Gleeso_Finglas wrote: »

Having a bad day whos here to talk?

I am here but hardly going to be of any help to you


I'm in Dublin city.

sunshine and showers

Gongoozler, I don't think pieta will see you using them as wasting resources. If you benefit from their services they'd be only delighted to help. It's not about being able to afford to pay - sure you could make a donation to them if you wanted to in that case.

Have a good look into it without thinking about money as a factor.

Misty Moon

Was just going to say the same thing. They say on their website quite clearly that it doesn't cost anything but that donations are always welcome if you're in a position to make one. It occurs to me the Pieta might also be a better place to get a recommendation for a therapist/type of therapy than your GP. Your GP experience might be completely different than mine (my otherwise excellent doctor was absolutely no help and since I didn't want to start off with taking medication before talking to someone, basically told me he'd look up the phonebook to find a few psychologists I could contact) and I think awareness of mental health issues has greatly improved since then but you know, experts are experts and my impression is that Pieta really do know their stuff.

wexie

Gleeso_Finglas wrote: »

Having a bad day whos here to talk?

I'm not exactly near otherwise I'd say I'll stick the kettle on, but you're more than welcome to PM me if you want to chat.

wexie

Gongoozler wrote: »

It's not in the least bit hurtful, I get what you're saying and I have absolutely no problem talking about all of it. I just mean that I need a solution. None of it has ever resulted in working towards a solution. It's just talking talking talking. I've spent hundreds on some of those counsellors, and a lot of hours, and I'm tired of doing that and getting nowhere. It can't be an endless week after week talk some more about this thing that happened, and how did that make you feel etc. I know there's a point to much of that but it never has gone anywhere with them.

Thing is, I get so frustrated and upset and worked up, I need something to keep me going while we talk through my entire life,if that is nnecessary. Something to help me get through the stuff that comes up everyday.

Yeah I think I know what you mean, I had a therapist who'd just keep me talking, which, on it's own was kinda useful, just not enough.

Gongoozler

ok Ive rang pieta, only available slot is Thursday. I've taken it,but it means i've to take more time off work, and at short notice, i'll proabably have to explain what its for

looking_around

Gongoozler wrote: »

ok Ive rang pieta, only available slot is Thursday. I've taken it,but it means i've to take more time off work, and at short notice, i'll proabably have to explain what its for

you can just say "health reasons", but telling work isn't necessarily bad, lots of people have been surprised at how helpful/understanding work places have been.

Gongoozler

looking_around wrote: »

you can just say "health reasons", but telling work isn't necessarily bad, lots of people have been surprised at how helpful/understanding work places have been.

I get that it can be ok, just knowing the people I'd have to tell, i'd rather not. One I don't trust in the slightest not to tell other people, and the other, well she'll over react and stop giving me any work to do because of the fear she'll overwhelm me. I won't say unless I have to. They haven't asked so far what i'm taking time off for, with doctors appointments etc. It just doesn't help that I've part of tomorrow already off for an appointment

Gleeso_Finglas

Gongoozler wrote: »

I am here but hardly going to be of any help to you


I'm in Dublin city.

Gong my friend you need to put your health first and family and work 2nd if you are not right nothing is right around you.

have you ever thought of attending a day hospital?

Misty Moon

Gongoozler wrote: »

... I've part of tomorrow already off for an appointment

Perfect. Do they know already what for? If not mumble something about tests (nothing serious blah, blah) and mention that you're supposed to go back on Thursday for follow-up/results. I know what it's like but don't let it be something that stresses you out all week and/or puts you off going.

@Gleeso: hope your day has improved somewhat.

@wexie: I just assumed Dandy was taking the thread title literally.

Drumpot

Feeling great today. Was anxious this morning, but said a prayer, took some deep breaths and got stuck into some work that needed doing that was on my mind.

I didn't do what I used to do which was just put the head down and get stuck into work. I learned these things over the years and I am still learning to refine them. I had my first night terror incident in months at the weekend. Woke up screaming, but I have been able to reflect on it and put it into context (whereas in the past it would of stayed with me and I would of had a bout of them, followed by panic attacks).

I am writing this because its easy to post when everything is going well and people may incorrectly assume that everything is great for me and that I am just lucky to of gotten out of the permanent hole I used to remain entrenched in.

I am not going to pick out posts or people individually, but I must again stress a few things that helped me that I can clearly see is holding people back:

• My thinking habits
• My ego was part of that - dismissing things without really giving them a go. In many cases I didn't understand how to properly try something.
• Second guessing medical professionals meant I was closed minded to alternatives that might of actually worked
• Actually doing nothing to improve my circumstances meant nothing changed
• Only discussing my issues with friends, family or people who agreed with my own diagnosis (ie not with people who will challenge my mindset/views)

A great phrase I heard was "you cant heal a sick mind with a sick mind". It really is that simple. I was stuck at self pity and self loathing mode for a long long time and made no progress because of it. "Oh I feel so horrible and have nothing to be feeling down about, what a piece of useless sh%t I must be!".

I know that I couldn't see my life or the way I lived it for the way it was. That was why it was imperative for me to be honest with a professional and have them shine a light on my bad habits.

I know one person who tried to commit suicide last year and they said CBT was a waste of time. This year they had the same deside (to commit suicide) and have admitted that they weren't really honest and didn't give CBT a proper go. If you are dishonest with yourself and others, its actually quite difficult to learn to find honesty. That is why I needed the help of another person. All I needed to do was be honest of what I know, not what I think, about my life. They were able to record all the important information and show to me where I had been dishonest (or unaware) of certain things in my life that were detrimental to my happiness.

Its funny because I had to learn to be honest because I was so self deluded I wasn't sure exactly how to be open. Its abundantly clear that there are people here with the same issue. I am not having a go, I am trying to help, because I found that I made little progress for as long as I was lacking in the self awareness I have today that allows me to have a much better life.

Being embarrassed about speaking with a professional or doctor is understandable, but for me it was a huge part of my rehabilitation. Getting past that defence mechanism that I clearly see was part of my illness holding me back.

DeVore

I knew that I was damaging myself and people around me and I was too proud to admit it.

The Strawman Argument

I have to say, I've been on my prescription for only five days now, maybe it's a placebo effect but it seemed to almost immediately start working. Have had a few very pleasant days which would've been nice regardless but I suspect were boosted by whatever's going on chemically (although I've been a bit spaced out any time I've been alone to do anything useful).

Can really see the need for... something... though. There's been a lot of moments where I can find my mind is going "you're supposed to do/feel this" or "this is likely going to end badly at some point or another" but I seem to be able to act against when they're unreasonable a lot better, if I could do that regularly I'd be fine. Quite a lot of my trouble usually is that I'm VERY aware of what I should be doing but can't build up the motivation to battle that kind of ingrained thinking, so that's probably the thing I have to work on.
It's going to take me a bit of time to figure out where I can get the money from unfortunately but, at the very least, I'll try that aware cbt group thing you mentioned a few pages back the next time it rolls around (January, I assume?).


Thanks for the replies to all my questions and whatnot over the last while guys, been a big help!

Drumpot

The Strawman Argument wrote: »

I have to say, I've been on my prescription for only five days now, maybe it's a placebo effect but it seemed to almost immediately start working. Have had a few very pleasant days which would've been nice regardless but I suspect were boosted by whatever's going on chemically (although I've been a bit spaced out any time I've been alone to do anything useful).

Can really see the need for... something... though. There's been a lot of moments where I can find my mind is going "you're supposed to do/feel this" or "this is likely going to end badly at some point or another" but I seem to be able to act against when they're unreasonable a lot better, if I could do that regularly I'd be fine. Quite a lot of my trouble usually is that I'm VERY aware of what I should be doing but can't build up the motivation to battle that kind of ingrained thinking, so that's probably the thing I have to work on.
It's going to take me a bit of time to figure out where I can get the money from unfortunately but, at the very least, I'll try that aware cbt group thing you mentioned a few pages back the next time it rolls around (January, I assume?).


Thanks for the replies to all my questions and whatnot over the last while guys, been a big help!

If I think about it, the "placebo effect" feeling is not all to different from the feeling I get when I feel better by working on my mental health. In this context, by both methods, I am feeling better because I think I feel better. Its a change of mindset which is exactly what CBT is all about. In both methods aswell I feel better because I am actually doing something to try to improve my mood.

Like I have suggested before, medication was a good tool to help me get more balanced, but unfortunately I abused it by not putting in the work required to compliment the short term effects of the medication.
There are Aware and other free support groups on all the time all over the country can you can try. You don't have to wait until January for the CBT programme. The only way I was able to get well was to be more receptive and open to trying even things/suggestions that made me extremely uncomfortable.

I found it easy to come up with excuses and reasons why I couldn't do certain things (including CBT). I am not exactly flushed with cash, yet when I wanted to I could always afford a takeaway, I could always afford to go to the cinema or go on a night out with friends. I remember saying to my doctor (I simply have no money to goto therapy) and the truth was that I wasn't prepared to sacrifice certain things in my life, that I enjoyed, to put towards my mental health.

Once I made a decision to put my mental health first, I begun to make huge progress.

Chunners

Have any of you tried Cognitive behavior Therapy (CBT), I just ask because it worked wonders for me. Bit of a back story so sorry if it's a bit long.

So as some of you know I'm Transsexual and about 4 years ago I was on a FAS course and about 2 weeks into it people fro other courses started to realise I was trans, at the start it was just taunts like calling me a freak or a fag as I was passing but then it got to them throwing food at me in the canteen. I complained to the staff but all that was really done was a message was sent out to all the classes saying discrimination would result in dismissal from the course but most courses were shorter than mine so new ones would be starting constantly and it would start all over again. This went on for 5 months and then one night I going to the local shop at about 7pm in the evening and there was 4 skangers standing outside it either drunk or stone I don't know which and two of them stepped in front of me (at the time they though I was female) saying **** like "Alrite love whats the story?", "any chance of a shag?" and **** like that so I tried walking around them and they kept it up and when I get nervous I have a tendency speak in my male voice so I asked them to get out of my way but because I was so nervous it came out in a deeper voice than I intended so they copped on so what I remember of it after that was one of them saying "Here lads its a dude" and then punched me in the head, pinned me against the glass of the shop and the four of them kicked 7 different shades of **** out of me, they cracked my ribs, broke my cheek and got me on the ground and literally took turns holding my legs open and giving me full force kicks in the groin. I was swollen and it felt like I was pissing glass for weeks after it and could barely walk, honestly don't know how they didn't break anything down there.

But anyway after that I started getting panic attacks whenever I went outside, I had to give up the course because I couldn't take the abuse anymore and basically became a hermit. I was constantly ****ting myself that someone would realise I'm transsexual and kick the crap out of me again. Tried a variety of drugs prescribed by my psychiatrist but none of it worked so she suggested CBT. I'll be honest at the start I thought it was never going to work, it just seemed like a load of crap to me. There are no drugs involved, he just talked to me about the things on my mind and gave me homework lol like getting me to write down how I was feeling at any specific time of day and then when I went back he would ask me why I was feeling like that and if I think it makes sense now for me to be thinking like that then.

A lot of it is about questioning yourself like if say I had to go out for something and I started to get apprehensive then instead of getting all flustered ask myself things like "Why exactly do you think someone is going to hit you?", "Are you sure they will or are you only assuming they will?", "Do you have a crystal ball?". It sounds silly but until he said all this I never realised that what I was doing was trying to predict the future and even worst only predicting the worst possible scenario when the truth was there was no reason for me to. I've been seeing him for about 10 weeks and he finally discharged me today. I still get nervous from time to time but I don't go full panic anymore, I just ask myself if I am making silly assumptions again and that usually works. I swear if you get the chance try it, it is totally worth giving it a go. I honestly can't believe the changes in me after only 10 weeks

Gongoozler

Jesus, Chunners that's awful. I mean it's great you're doing so much better.

I've also done some cbt. It was that aware thing set up. I found it useful in ways, just not enough maybe.

wexie

Misty Moon wrote: »

@wexie: I just assumed Dandy was taking the thread title literally.

hmmmm....duh....

Gleeso_Finglas

Hows everyone today?

stop animal cruelty

^^

Finally took some action yesterday and went out for a run, after a ****e 2mnths, and managed to go again today! Been up and down alot, but the fact lv made the effort to do something for me and overall health, l feel good! Went back on my tabs friday so feeling less anxious already...the run felt great, l know everyone says it but exercise really does help, felt like it burnt up alot of energy inside me l didnt know was there.

l still get teary most days, but fcuk it l know il pull tru! how have you been?

Wilberto

stop animal cruelty wrote: »

l still get teary most days, but fcuk it l know il pull tru! how have you been?

I'd love to have a good cry actually. I get to the point where I'd have a lump in my throat but I never get as far as the old waterworks.

stop animal cruelty

Wilberto wrote: »

I'd love to have a good cry actually. I get to the point where I'd have a lump in my throat but I never get as far as the old waterworks.

a good cry does help!

Kayleigh..

Been so down lately, not sure what to do

wexie

Wilberto wrote: »

I'd love to have a good cry actually. I get to the point where I'd have a lump in my throat but I never get as far as the old waterworks.

Watch Marley and Me

(only half joking )

Gongoozler

Anybody have any recommendations for a book or course for effective communication skills or ya know, effectively telling people to go fcuk themselves? Will take either

Misty Moon

wexie wrote: »

Wilberto wrote: »

I'd love to have a good cry actually. I get to the point where I'd have a lump in my throat but I never get as far as the old waterworks.

Watch Marley and Me

(only half joking )

The Notebook will do it for me. Mind you, so will The Parent Trap if I'm really on the brink of a good cry anyway.

@Gongoozler: how about No More Mr. Nice Guy

Gongoozler

Thanks Misty Moon for the suggestion, had a bit of a read of that last night, there's something about it that doesn't sound right to me. Now I mean a lot of it makes sense, but there's just something I can't put my finger on. I'll continue my search.

I had my assessment with pieta today, all was ok. They're nice people. Waiting to get my first appointment now.

wexie

Gongoozler wrote: »

I had my assessment with pieta today, all was ok. They're nice people. Waiting to get my first appointment now.

Do you feel any better now that you've spoken to them and you know they're nice people?

Gongoozler

wexie wrote: »

Do you feel any better now that you've spoken to them and you know they're nice people?

Better mood wise? Or more at ease with it? I mentioned that I feel like I'm wasting their time, but we'll they're hardly going to agree I am.

wexie

Gongoozler wrote: »

Better mood wise? Or more at ease with it? I mentioned that I feel like I'm wasting their time, but we'll they're hardly going to agree I am.

No just better about the whole scenario of going to Pieta? Better knowing you're doing something, that you've done something?

Gongoozler

wexie wrote: »

No just better about the whole scenario of going to Pieta? Better knowing you're doing something, that you've done something?

I don't know that I think much of it tbh. I suppose I am more ok with it but at the same time you can see that they're assessing you based on how suicidal you are on the day, and have been. I've had these thoughts for 10 years so it's like I'll be considered a minimal threat because of that. So in my own head I'm taking that as they don't really think I