LETS ALL LAUGH AT PEOPLE WITH DEPRESSION!!

Penny Tration

Gongoozler wrote: »

I don't know that I think much of it tbh. I suppose I am more ok with it but at the same time you can see that they're assessing you based on how suicidal you are on the day, and have been. I've had these thoughts for 10 years so it's like I'll be considered a minimal threat because of that. So in my own head I'm taking that as they don't really think I

what you need to remember is that they a charity. They cannot afford to use slots for people who don't need them. They would not schedule you for an appointment unless they thought you genuinely needed it. Even if they believe you are at a minimal risk of suicide, they have recognised that you DO need help, and quickly.








I'm feeling good lately. My medication (sertraline/zoloft/lustral) is working well, without too many side effects. I'm very tired because of it, but that is reducing my insomnia, which is good. I still have very bad moments, but in general, my head is clear and my thoughts are mostly rational.

Misty Moon

Gongoozler wrote: »

Thanks Misty Moon for the suggestion, had a bit of a read of that last night, there's something about it that doesn't sound right to me. Now I mean a lot of it makes sense, but there's just something I can't put my finger on. I'll continue my search.

I was only half serious with the recommendation There were a whole bunch of people on the Mr. Money Mustache forums raving about it a while back, all with very positive experiences - when I had a look on Amazon, all of the negative reviews mentioned it being very American and not really transferring to other cultures or countries.

Glad your initial appointment went well. Try not to let yourself have too many "I'm wasting their time" thoughts because as the ad says "You're worth it"!

looking_around

Gongoozler wrote: »

I don't know that I think much of it tbh. I suppose I am more ok with it but at the same time you can see that they're assessing you based on how suicidal you are on the day, and have been. I've had these thoughts for 10 years so it's like I'll be considered a minimal threat because of that. So in my own head I'm taking that as they don't really think I

I remember thinking like this.

They aren't just assessing your need/risk, but which therapist would be best, and how receptive you are. if you seem ready to actually deal with things.

You are struggling, and therefore you are deserving of help, regardless of how actively suicidal you are or not.

stop animal cruelty

Have no where else to let this out...

Only found out yesterday, that yesterday was my last day at work. now unemployed and single all within a month. lm so scared about the furture. l never went to college, have no plans to cause lm not smart enough....so never gonna be able to get a good steady job. l dont where lm going in life, l hate being unemployed, last time l was l gained a stone and half and became really depressed. All my friends are working and have boyfriends, lm back to square 1 again. only a few months ago my life was perfect, l went 1 step forward, 5 steps back

l feel like a zombie, dont want to do anything, just sick of everything. The hurt my ex caused me, the frustration of where l am in life, feels like il be like this forever. only few days ago l thought l was going great, it just always gets thrown back in my face again. l dont know how much more l can take, dreading every single day now

looking_around

stop animal cruelty wrote: »

Have no where else to let this out...

Only found out yesterday, that yesterday was my last day at work. now unemployed and single all within a month. lm so scared about the furture. l never went to college, have no plans to cause lm not smart enough....so never gonna be able to get a good steady job. l dont where lm going in life, l hate being unemployed, last time l was l gained a stone and half and became really depressed. All my friends are working and have boyfriends, lm back to square 1 again. only a few months ago my life was perfect, l went 1 step forward, 5 steps back

l feel like a zombie, dont want to do anything, just sick of everything. The hurt my ex caused me, the frustration of where l am in life, feels like il be like this forever. only few days ago l thought l was going great, it just always gets thrown back in my face again. l dont know how much more l can take, dreading every single day now

persistence, is what makes people "smart enough", jump into a FAS course, maybe plan for a fetac lv 5 next year? They are designed for people who didnt do to well in school or havent much experience with studying. There's a range of courses, the carer/nursing courses, are an easy way to boost your employability.

things are very hard at the moment, but they won't always be like this.

Be kind to yourself.
You haven't step backwards, or your situation has just changed.that doesn't mean you have.

Drumpot

stop animal cruelty wrote: »

Have no where else to let this out...

Only found out yesterday, that yesterday was my last day at work. now unemployed and single all within a month. lm so scared about the furture. l never went to college, have no plans to cause lm not smart enough....so never gonna be able to get a good steady job. l dont where lm going in life, l hate being unemployed, last time l was l gained a stone and half and became really depressed. All my friends are working and have boyfriends, lm back to square 1 again. only a few months ago my life was perfect, l went 1 step forward, 5 steps back

l feel like a zombie, dont want to do anything, just sick of everything. The hurt my ex caused me, the frustration of where l am in life, feels like il be like this forever. only few days ago l thought l was going great, it just always gets thrown back in my face again. l dont know how much more l can take, dreading every single day now

I used to think doing a job I like would make me happy. I used to think getting the things in life that I really want would make me happy. I learned that the answer was inside of me.



I didn't find this solution on my own and at many stages I had plenty of excuses or reasons why I continued to focus on my problems, instead of identifying solutions.

As somebody who is still getting rehabilitation, I can tell you part of my rehabilitation is working and talking with people who tried to commit suicide. It also involves getting and giving support to like minded people who battle deep personal pain.

I know when I am going back into myself and going back to those bad places, that I am allowing my illness to consume me. I come up with excuses "well I am short on money" or "I am just really to tired" to make appointments with professionals or even push myself to support groups. .

You may not feel like reaching out for support, but now that you are not working you have plenty of time to put towards your mental health. But you need to decide that you want to.

I feel for you in your circumstances, but when I am feeling down, depressed, anxious, sad, I know that I am the last person who is in a position to know what it is I need to do to feel better. . I have an instinct to want to do something or get something to make me feel better. This is not healthy, this is relying on external factors (job, money, family, entertainment etc) to pick me up. But its not a solution.

I know somebody with a similar story to you who makes progress when they give time and focus on their mental health. But its clear when they go back to their old habits because they start coming up with the old "if I just had a job" or "if I had a partner" that only distracts them from a solution. That's self pity that can turn to self loathing (why am'nt I good enough) which is something I am all to familiar with and believe me it is completely destructive and unhealthy.

Misty Moon

stop animal cruelty wrote: »

Have no where else to let this out...

Only found out yesterday, that yesterday was my last day at work. now unemployed and single all within a month. lm so scared about the furture. l never went to college, have no plans to cause lm not smart enough....so never gonna be able to get a good steady job. l dont where lm going in life, l hate being unemployed, last time l was l gained a stone and half and became really depressed. All my friends are working and have boyfriends, lm back to square 1 again. only a few months ago my life was perfect, l went 1 step forward, 5 steps back

l feel like a zombie, dont want to do anything, just sick of everything. The hurt my ex caused me, the frustration of where l am in life, feels like il be like this forever. only few days ago l thought l was going great, it just always gets thrown back in my face again. l dont know how much more l can take, dreading every single day now

Sorry you're going through all this. As the others have said, try not to sink into a morass of self-pity/self-loathing, hard as that is. Going to college by no means guarantees you a good steady job anyway, so try and forget about the traditional mania for "I'm nothing if I'm not good academically" and think about what you do like to do or what you are good at doing. If you've been unemployed before you know exactly what worked and what didn't so you have a chance to avoid some of the same problems. Make a list of all the things you'd prefer not to do this time (what was it that led you to gaining weight, for example). Write yourself out a timetable if that might help you feel you have some kind of purpose: 9 to 10 get up, dressed, make bed, eat breakfast; 10 to 11, go for a walk; 11 to 12, check job ads, work on CV etc.; 12 to 1 prepare and eat lunch; 1 to 2 read a good book, newspapers and so on and so forth. I find it a big help to allocate blocks of time for tasks and then I don't have to think about it any more.

Based on your username, would looking for volunteer work at an animal shelter interest you? I know finding that made such a huge difference to a good friend of mine - he has often said that starting to work with animals saved his life and opened up a whole new, other life to him (now doing some kind of fetac course to become vet's assistant).

0byme75341jo28

Had first counselling appointment today, trying not to be dismissive but I found the whole thing extremely disappointing. I already know I'm not going to tell him everything due to his reaction when I was brutally honest. I felt like I was being bullied. Don't think I'll go back tbh. Was just treated like an idiot.

Can't help but think it will be a complete waste of time and money.

sunshine and showers

Have three big job interviews in the next week. Trying not to let anxiety get the better of me, but it's not easy!

looking_around

Cora Melodic Seed wrote: »

Had first counselling appointment today, trying not to be dismissive but I found the whole thing extremely disappointing. I already know I'm not going to tell him everything due to his reaction when I was brutally honest. I felt like I was being bullied. Don't think I'll go back tbh. Was just treated like an idiot.

Can't help but think it will be a complete waste of time and money.

If I may ask.
what was his reaction?
What made you feel like you were being bullied?

I've had some negative experience with counsellors. Looking back, I would say, all but one, was just misunderstanding of their intentions/attitude.

I'd give him 1 or 2 more sessions, tell him how you felt, if you don't click, ask if it's possible for you to see someone else. (I have no experience with pieta ) but, most place have a couple of counsellors, and they can switch you to someone else. you wont click with everyone after all

0byme75341jo28

looking_around wrote: »

If I may ask.
what was his reaction?
What made you feel like you were being bullied?

I've had some negative experience with counsellors. Looking back, I would say, all but one, was just misunderstanding of their intentions/attitude.

I'd give him 1 or 2 more sessions, tell him how you felt, if you don't click, ask if it's possible for you to see someone else. (I have no experience with pieta ) but, most place have a couple of counsellors, and they can switch you to someone else. you wont click with everyone after all

He appeared to be very shocked, nearly looked like he was panicking, by what I thought was a rather minor statement. Didn't think it was a big deal at all. His reaction discouraged me completely from being honest with him, and isn't that the whole point?

I'm not sure if bullying is the right word to be honest. He was very condescending. To be blunt, I felt he treated me like a bit of an eejit. Overall I got a very negative vibe off him. Not sure if talking about things is going to help me anyway.

Misty Moon

Cora Melodic Seed wrote: »

Not sure if talking about things is going to help me anyway.

Counselling is more than just talking though. I'd say go back for another session but if you really aren't clicking then definitely switch to a different counsellor. I quite like the way they organise it here - you get an inital cert from the health insurance for five sessions - that's so that you can try out a few different people if you like. Once you've found someone you're comfortable with, then you apply for the longer course of treatment. I had my first session with an absolute waste of space type. Spent ten minutes telling me about himself (I'd looked him up online anyway and knew everything he was telling me already so for me he was just using up time I wanted to use to talk about my problems), gave out to me later because I hadn't warned him my family was so complicated and he was running out of paper for his notes and just generally made me feel so terrible, I came out of the session a whole lot worse than when I went in. I didn't go back. If you went to the doctor with a bad arm and you came out of the surgery with a bad ankle on top of it, you wouldn't really think twice about going somewhere else. Shouldn't be any different for your mental health.

looking_around

Cora Melodic Seed wrote: »

He appeared to be very shocked, nearly looked like he was panicking, by what I thought was a rather minor statement. Didn't think it was a big deal at all. His reaction discouraged me completely from being honest with him, and isn't that the whole point?

I'm not sure if bullying is the right word to be honest. He was very condescending. To be blunt, I felt he treated me like a bit of an eejit. Overall I got a very negative vibe off him. Not sure if talking about things is going to help me anyway.

Some things aren't as minor as we think they are, we just have become so used to it, that they are normal. And maybe he was trying to show that it wasn't?

One of the negative experience with a counsellor, 4 years ago.... I felt she was focusing on the wrong points. That she was more concerned with certain topics. I kept going for a few weeks, and then just blew it off. Looking back, I should've talked to her about her reactions and asked to switch counsellors.

At the time I also thought "well, talking about it won't help anyway",
Last year I started therapy, to use as I wanted. I was originally told I was on the list for CBT, but when I started with him, he said "no I'm just a psychologist, I won't be doing CBT orientated stuff with you. I'm here for you to talk about whatever it is you need. We can delve deep into the past or we can ignore it. I won't push"(though recently he has, as I asked him to.)

Talking about things, isn't a fix all, but it allowed me to see what I needed to do to fix all.
By talking I understood myself better.(and I had believed I understood myself well enough lol.)

I had recently just managed to start quitting self-harm, so I suppose starting with him came at a point where I strongly wanted things to change.
I did awares online CBT while seeing him, and I'm due to start DBT, while seeing him.
I don't actually talk about a great deal in the sessions. Normally challenges during the week and alot of self-thought. Every so often he says something that makes me think "ah, yes, that's it, omg".

Before this last year, I was a little indifferent to therapy. I had some positive experience and some negative, and all in all, I didn't see the benefit.

Being honest with your therapist is very important, but imo, it's more important to remember they are just a tool. And they are there to help you feel better. Use them in whatever way helps you.
And if you don't click with one, that's not to say you won't click with another. They are only human.

DeVore

No one here can really tell you much about the specifics because we can only hear about them through the lens of your recounting... now that could be skewed or it could be crystal clear, my point is we cant give you much help about the specific incident.

What I can say is this... you want to get better or you wouldn't have gone. Inside you, like there was inside the people who are progressing here, is a kernel of you that is sick and tired of being sick, and tired. It wants to fight back and get better. But its not alone in there, there is also the self destructive elements and the depression too, neither of which want you to continue on this path.

So, in fact I believe you when you say this counsellor may not be for you, that's quite possible, nay probable. I think you should give him the benefit of the doubt and maybe search inside yourself to see if you are sabotaging this (believe me I am the ISIS of self sabotage ) but if all that checks out then my question to you is this: What are you going to do about it. Give up or get up? God I don't want that to sound harsh but the reality is that you are on a road and you took the first step and that's truly amazing because I know how tough that is. You need to keep just putting one foot in front of the other and keep heading towards getting better. Don't give up on that, you've already done the hardest bit.

Look at it this way, if service in a restaurant was bad, you might not go again... but you wouldn't quit eating

Keep us posted, good days and bad, we're all here for each other.

0byme75341jo28

DeVore wrote: »

No one here can really tell you much about the specifics because we can only hear about them through the lens of your recounting... now that could be skewed or it could be crystal clear, my point is we cant give you much help about the specific incident.

What I can say is this... you want to get better or you wouldn't have gone. Inside you, like there was inside the people who are progressing here, is a kernel of you that is sick and tired of being sick, and tired. It wants to fight back and get better. But its not alone in there, there is also the self destructive elements and the depression too, neither of which want you to continue on this path.

So, in fact I believe you when you say this counsellor may not be for you, that's quite possible, nay probable. I think you should give him the benefit of the doubt and maybe search inside yourself to see if you are sabotaging this (believe me I am the ISIS of self sabotage ) but if all that checks out then my question to you is this: What are you going to do about it. Give up or get up? God I don't want that to sound harsh but the reality is that you are on a road and you took the first step and that's truly amazing because I know how tough that is. You need to keep just putting one foot in front of the other and keep heading towards getting better. Don't give up on that, you've already done the hardest bit.

Look at it this way, if service in a restaurant was bad, you might not go again... but you wouldn't quit eating

Keep us posted, good days and bad, we're all here for each other.

Give up, I'm done with this treatment stuff, I was much better off dealing with this on my own. Gonna finish up with my GP next week and cancel the counselling, think it's done me more harm than good.

Honestly, I think seeking help is one of the worst decision I've ever made. Much preferred bottling up everything. At least I was stable back then, and could control my thoughts much better. I'm a mess since I've spoken to my GP tbh.

looking_around

Cora Melodic Seed wrote: »

Give up, I'm done with this treatment stuff, I was much better off dealing with this on my own. Gonna finish up with my GP next week and cancel the counselling, think it's done me more harm than good.

Honestly, I think seeking help is one of the worst decision I've ever made. Much preferred bottling up everything. At least I was stable back then, and could control my thoughts much better. I'm a mess since I've spoken to my GP tbh.

thats how it feels right now, how stable , truthfully now, were you before?

Of course things are a mess now, you've made the first step to fighting the parasite that lives off you. Its fighting back.
Don't give up now, you're just at the very beginning of the whole process. You're at the hardest step.

Idk, how you feel about using the HSE public services? you'll be waiting longer for a counsellor, but you have access to psychiatric nurses while you wait. They are literally just there for whatever you feel you need. Some have CBT qualifications and can do that with you.
It will also give you time to see what you need, and take this slower, it may be easier?

I didn't find the waiting as bad, as I thought I would. Hopped between a couple psychiatric nurses til I clicked with one, and it was more like a friendship, I went to see her, just to chat. I wasn't expected to "work" on my issues etc. Which was nice, more relaxed.

Mars Bar

What's that saying? "You'll get worse before you will get better." I would consider you a bit strange if you didn't feel some upheaval after taking about things you've kept bottled up to be honest.

DeVore

I felt the same when I unbottled and it lasted quite a while... but its part of the process. The best way I can think of explaining it is like packing the boot of a car wrong and then having to unpack it to repack it. When you unpack it, it naturally gets untidy with bags everywhere.... but you have to go backwards to go forwards if you get me. What you are suggesting you do is just jam the boot closed and sit on it until it locks.

Everything in your head is probably shouting at you to just give up. You know in your heart that that is the wrong decision and doesn't lead anywhere good.

I hope you go back to a different counsellor and you can always talk to the gang here, you're part of it now, you took the first step.

stop animal cruelty

I, try, to live by this quote "When your going through hell, keep going" - Winston Churchill, don't know why but its always stuck with me, and when I think of it, it makes me keep going and not giving up!

looking_around

stop animal cruelty wrote: »

I, try, to live by this quote "When your going through hell, keep going" - Winston Churchill, don't know why but its always stuck with me, and when I think of it, it makes me keep going and not giving up!

It's also part of a song, I love.
"If you're goin' through hell, keep on going
Don't slow down if you're scared don't show it
You might get out before the devil even knows you're there". -Rodney Atkins

Because it is indeed hell, but if you keep on going, you will get out.

OneoOne1

Don`t give up till it`s over, don`t quit if you can
The weight on your shoulder will make you a stronger man

Grasp your nettle tightly, though it will burn
Treat your failures lightly, your luck is bound to turn

Don`t give up till it`s over, don`t quit if you can
The weight on your shoulder will make you a stronger man

Look at the autumn flowers how they wither and fade
With nature`s hidden powers, next year they`ll be re-made

Don`t give up till it`s over, don`t quit if you can
The weight on your shoulder will make you a stronger man

Watch the full moon rising, like a ghost of the sun
Oh, dawn will be more surprising, when a new day has begun

Don`t give up till it`s over, don`t quit if you can
The weight on your shoulder will make you a stronger man

Don`t give up till it`s over, don`t quit if you can
The weight on your shoulder will make you a stronger man

The Strawman Argument

looking_around wrote: »

thats how it feels right now, how stable , truthfully now, were you before?

Of course things are a mess now, you've made the first step to fighting the parasite that lives off you. Its fighting back.
Don't give up now, you're just at the very beginning of the whole process. You're at the hardest step.

Just posting to say that I agree with all of the above and similar sentiments expressed by other people (although, honestly, the motivational quotes and lyrics would piss me off a bit). Hope you can find ways and energy to keep trying, whether it's with a different counselor or whatever.

looking_around

The Strawman Argument wrote: »

Just posting to say that I agree with all of the above and similar sentiments expressed by other people (although, honestly, the motivational quotes and lyrics would piss me off a bit). Hope you can find ways and energy to keep trying, whether it's with a different counselor or whatever.

I don't normally post quotes, it was just in reply to someone else.

Although I do find it helpful listening to music that encourage me to get my ass into gear, over music that encourage the negativity.

Calibos

Don't Stop.....believe'in.....

TommieBoy

Hi all... I just started (today) on mild anti-depressants after staring at the bottle for ...several months ...not sure what to expect. My depression has taken a turn for the worse the past few weeks, so I decided to chance any minor side effects for an improved mood. I haven't spoken with a counselor in months, so perhaps I should remedy that situation as well. Cheers.

0byme75341jo28

Ignore yesterday's post, my head was all over the place.

Hope everyone's had a good day.

DeVore

Cora Melodic Seed wrote: »

Ignore yesterday's post, my head was all over the place.

Hope everyone's had a good day.

Welcome to, well, the rest of us.





(good to hear you are ok, genuinely).

TommieBoy

Cora Melodic Seed wrote: »

Ignore yesterday's post, my head was all over the place.

Hope everyone's had a good day.

I know how that feels

Hope you've had a pleasant day too Prince.

DeVore

ps: My head went into space at the start too for a while. I didn't really explain this bit in the OP because... well, because I didn't want to sound... um.. crazy?


Its a long story but basically two nights before I was suppose to go on a 5 week trip around Asia the whole dam of my life kinda caved in. That sounds dramatic but just everything I kinda knew or had clinged to just... went away.

But I was booked for this super expensive trip-of-a-lifetime and there was no backing out so, I had to go. I figured, maybe this is just what I need (and it was!). But first I had a 24 hour trip from Dublin to Bangkok. My travel buddy just conked the fnck out cos he can sleep anywhere and I sat in this incredible Dreamliner A380 monster of an air craft on the verge of tears listening to Adele's 21 over and over. Everything I knew about myself was suddenly up for grabs and made of sand and my head was in space. I spent the next 40 days having an amazing trip with monkeys and hawks and cocktail bars and what have you but in the evening I would text my best mate back home who had helped me in the previous 48 hours and tried to piece back together who I thought I was and what I wanted from my life.

It took probably 6 solid months to begin to get a grip on everything again... counselling helped me learn coping strategies and also to identify the reasons my thinking would head south in the first place and avoid them. Notice I said "begin". The first 3-6 months were a flood of ups and downs... huge revelations about why I had been so self destructive before and how things made sense now that I looked back on them. It was painful, there were rows (especially with my best mate who stuck with me, but refused to pamper me or allow me to fool myself about things).... there were set backs and low days and stumbles.

I'm not "fixed" because there is no "fixed" but I'm in a good space and things are mostly in balance. I'll take that.

cometogether

I wish I could stop being jealous of other people and thereby ignoring my own qualities, in the sense of negatively comparing myself to other people. How do you stop!! I also realised that I get bored so so easily and that I get depressed when I'm bored.