LETS ALL LAUGH AT PEOPLE WITH DEPRESSION!!

cloud493

I'm finding today unbearable

Chet Zar

Amazing post and doubtless the best one I've ever read on Boards.

As DeV says, the most important thing above all else is to just talk to someone - that's what's common to everyone. And it doesn't even really matter who that is, generally speaking. Especially when you'd truly be surprised at how people will react and how it just 'opens everything up'. So just talk.

Degringola

Have read most of the posts but not the last couple of pages. So forgive me if this aspect has been posted already.

For me, depression comes from a total feeling of self-loathing, of regret and remorse. Very hard to come to terms with that - for me, anyway.

For anyone struggling through today - only 2 1/2 hours left. You can make it

sheesh

if its that bad i would suggest to go to bed a bit earlier maybe some music as you drift off.

DeVore

The evenings only get longer from here.



One thing to be aware of is that some people get Seasonally Affected Depression. My mother gets it and its the reason you may have seen me talk about being in Malta. I took my mother away once when she was low and honestly, we were barely off the tarmac in airport and I was noticing the difference. By the end of the week I had already decided I would move heaven and earth to get somewhere down there. My father downsized the house and I sold shares in Boards and we got an apartment there and it has been joyous. I mean that, it means a huge amount to me and the Mods know there is a thread explaining how much that means to me. I have a fierce loyalty to Boards and to people here and thats a good chunk of why.

Be aware that sunlight and sunshine play a part in the defeat of this evil little hobgoblin. Its no coincidence that places like Finland have some of the highest rates of suicide on the planet.

Today I thought about the people here, EFB, Cloud, Millicent and all of you. I started this thread to try and help people but I think its worked a lot in reverse! I had a very weird, but good day and for the first time I didnt feel like a fake at xmas, hearing your stories reminded me that its not me, its the hobgoblin stealing from me. So, I'm sitting here with a glass of wine and thinking that summer is coming. Thank you.

Tom.

Cheeky_gal

Very difficult day, spent the majority of it crying. My eyes are going to be extremely puffy in the morning!

Everyone is saying "talk to someone", is it just me or does anyone else find there is no one they can talk to?

I have 5 people in my family and I'm too embarrassed to talk to them, and when I do I'm told I'm been "manipulative" which I know myself that I am not. I see things very differently in my head to them, which they will never understand as I've had a very different childhood to them. Majority of the time they can't understand why I'm down, when I try to explain they say "but it's in the past? You need to let it go". That's what I find hardest. My mind is like a record on repeat. I can't forget what I went through growing up and it's really effecting me moving forth.

I suppose I could talk to Samaratins but I'd be too uncomfortable.

I actually find Boards users cheer me up the most, thanks everyone.

jammstarr

Cheeky_gal wrote: »

Very difficult day, spent the majority of it crying. My eyes are going to be extremely puffy in the morning!

Everyone is saying "talk to someone", is it just me or does anyone else find there is no one they can talk to?

I have 5 people in my family and I'm too embarrassed to talk to them, and when I do I'm told I'm been "manipulative" which I know myself that I am not. I see things very differently in my head to them, which they will never understand as I've had a very different childhood to them. Majority of the time they can't understand why I'm down, when I try to explain they say "but it's in the past? You need to let it go". That's what I find hardest. My mind is like a record on repeat. I can't forget what I went through growing up and it's really effecting me moving forth.

I suppose I could talk to Samaratins but I'd be too uncomfortable.

I actually find Boards users cheer me up the most, thanks everyone.

Once you talk to someone, anyone at all, even if it's just venting on here. It's never good to bottle it all up.

talkinyite

I was fair depressed there earlier for some reason or another I went and made a hangman's noose out of a speed-rope but I wasn't convinced it would snap my neck so I'm still here feeling feck all. Think I just need a few spliffs. Laugh away.

Kersmash

Fantastic thread Dev, really was very good to read.

I suppose I'll share my own personal experience. Due to things related to college, a few months ago I visited the guidance counsellor and during our talks she referred me to a proper psychologist. I didn't really know why, but I went along with it anyway. During our talks he "diagnosed" (I hate using that word) me with Depression and Insomnia. At first I was pretty shocked and didn't know what to make of it. In Ireland there still seems to be this stigma against mental health problems. I thought, no way, I'm just a bit sad, I'm going through a rough time at the moment I'll be fine, but thinking about I realise I have been struggling with depression for the past few years.

In the OP you say that it's the feeling of nothingness. While that is probably accurate for you, I think that it varies from person to person, exactly what feelings and thoughts are going on, while still being under the general umbrella of depression. Personally speaking, a lot of the time it is this vast feeling of emptiness and not being bothered with the world. I mean whats the point in trying if I'm just gonna **** things up as usual anyway? Well thats how it hits me. There are times when this is coupled with sadness. I'm going through a pretty rough time at the moment, I haven't been feeling great in months and some other things have happened recently that have just left me with this crushing sense of melancholy and emptiness.

Well thats kinda how I've been feeling the past few weeks. Just nothing seems worth it. I get up and go to work, and act happy. I go out with my friends, I act happy. I usually get away with it too.

That being said there are some things that do make me feel better. Just taking my mind off the whole thing can help. Sometimes I do go out with my friends, and actually have fun. Just forgetting about your situation helps alot, but then there;s only so long that can last.

I know I'll be okay. It's just one of these things I have to deal with. I have a certain few people that know but most people close to me are oblivious, and I want to keep it that way. It's this ingrained sense of not wanting to bother people with my frivolous problems I guess.

But this isn't PI and I don't want to sound like a sob story. Just felt I should share. Typing stuff like this seems to help me so why not go for it I know I've rambled and have probably been fairly incoherent but it made sense in my head

Anyway, Go team, good talk, see you out there!

Things will be okay

opinion guy

talkinyite wrote: »

I was fair depressed there earlier for some reason or another I went and made a hangman's noose out of a speed-rope but I wasn't convinced it would snap my neck so I'm still here feeling feck all. Think I just need a few spliffs. Laugh away.

talkinyite maybe you should get some help ? As in tonight maybe head down to A&E and get talking to the psychiatrist ? Or call the samaritans

nesf

roast wrote: »

I feel that, because my father is of the older generation, he might not understand my reasons, and my condition. I feel he may expect me to be more positive, and to stop being morose about what might be considered trivial things to most. I know life is a lot easier now than what it was when he was growing up.

I know exactly what you mean. When I went to my father to talk to someone because I was cutting myself a lot when I was 14 his response was to threaten to "beat the depression out of me." Didn't talk about it to anyone again until I was 17 and walked into a GP about it.

To be fair to him now he's a lot more supportive in his own way than he was back then. I can imagine it's not a nice surprise for your 14 year old to tell you that they can't stop cutting so his reaction was "understandable" given his generation and background.

empacher

Christmas is always the a hard time.
I spend it working, just back now which is handy because it leaves less time for having to converse with the extended family. I always find it tough with the amount of obligatory nights to go out.

Went out last Friday and complete memory blank (think I could have being spiked) But its always scary when 1. you can't remember anything. 2. You hope you didn't have too many bad thoughts in your head.

But January is coming around which always is good for me.
I eat better.
Start exercising more.
Give up the alcohol for a bit.
I always set some goals, while also remembering the things I'm thank full for.
Which I say every morning.
Also every day the mornings brighter and evening longer.

These 6 steps always make the new year better.

Then Summers just around the corner.

Seeing as the seasons do have an effect on me this always something to look forward to.

starviewadams

Am absolutely knackered after spending a whole day in my friends house with my happy face on.I really just wanted to take 5 vals and wake up on the 27th when all the happy couples have stopped being so sickeningly loving.It's shít being lonely,desperate and depressed,especially at this time of year.

empacher

talkinyite wrote: »

I was fair depressed there earlier for some reason or another I went and made a hangman's noose out of a speed-rope but I wasn't convinced it would snap my neck so I'm still here feeling feck all. Think I just need a few spliffs. Laugh away.

I have thought about different things like that before, partially because I have an inquisitive mind. But I have being told before that it's nothing to worry about as its not a predetermined thought of yours more spur of the moment. Its an action to see if it can stir an emotion.

hope you enjoyed the spliff, I haven't in a while as I find it ruins concentration, and can push me into a depressive mood. Maybe give it a break for a few weeks.

empacher

starviewadams wrote: »

Am absolutely knackered after spending a whole day in my friends house with my happy face on.I really just wanted to take 5 vals and wake up on the 27th when all the happy couples have stopped being so sickeningly loving.It's shít being lonely,desperate and depressed,especially at this time of year.

I hate couples especially when one of them is a twat, at an xmas party last week. My friend (maybe should rethink this) got with a girl that I had being chatting up all night long, that I've liked for a while. Worst part was he has a gf, and she was smashed which made me stop chatting her up. That brought me into a really low low mood for xmas.
As I'm pretty sure if I got with her, a romance would have started and that for me makes me a very balanced person. As I tend to confide a lot in a partner, burden shared is a burden halfed and all that jazz.

jaffacakesyum

starviewadams wrote: »

Am absolutely knackered after spending a whole day in my friends house with my happy face on.I really just wanted to take 5 vals and wake up on the 27th when all the happy couples have stopped being so sickeningly loving.It's shít being lonely,desperate and depressed,especially at this time of year.

Couldn't have said it better myself. The hardest was Christmas Eve for me as we always have a big family thing on then. And of course yesterday was tough too.

At least it's over now for another year! Going to make it my New Years resolution to go to my GP.

steddyeddy

nesf wrote: »

I know exactly what you mean. When I went to my father to talk to someone because I was cutting myself a lot when I was 14 his response was to threaten to "beat the depression out of me." Didn't talk about it to anyone again until I was 17 and walked into a GP about it.

To be fair to him now he's a lot more supportive in his own way than he was back then. I can imagine it's not a nice surprise for your 14 year old to tell you that they can't stop cutting so his reaction was "understandable" given his generation and background.

Fair play for seeing it that way. I hope your doing better lately anyway.

girlonfire

I've been lurking around this thread on and off and I think it's absolutely brilliant. The support offered by posters is really touching and while depression is so common, one can't help but feel so bloody isolated, but this brings back home how many of us struggle with this on a day to day basis.
I don't have anything I want to add just now except thanks

Chet Zar

Cheeky_gal wrote: »

Very difficult day, spent the majority of it crying. My eyes are going to be extremely puffy in the morning!

Everyone is saying "talk to someone", is it just me or does anyone else find there is no one they can talk to?

I have 5 people in my family and I'm too embarrassed to talk to them, and when I do I'm told I'm been "manipulative" which I know myself that I am not. I see things very differently in my head to them, which they will never understand as I've had a very different childhood to them. Majority of the time they can't understand why I'm down, when I try to explain they say "but it's in the past? You need to let it go". That's what I find hardest. My mind is like a record on repeat. I can't forget what I went through growing up and it's really effecting me moving forth.

I suppose I could talk to Samaratins but I'd be too uncomfortable.

I actually find Boards users cheer me up the most, thanks everyone.

Boards.ie is great - and there is always someone you can talk to - in fact it is nearly always better to talk to someone outside your family who knows you, but doesn't know you that well. Boards.ie is a case in point

And if you feel like you need to talk to somebody, check out the links in my sig.

steddyeddy

Just to reinforce the good thing devs done here since I posted in this thread talking about how down I felt some nice posters have pmed me offering their support. If anywheres a good place to talk its here!

thebaz

Christmas day and eve , can be the worst time of the year if you are single - they are over now - and I'd much rather be single than be in an unhappy relationship - maybe i should drop my high standards , perhaps that is why I am single so often , then again maybe not ...

b

rebel without a clue

i was told yesterday by a four year old that "nobody likes me". it was said in front of everyone. i had to pretend to laugh it off. worse thing is i was at my cousins house for the day so i couldnt even go to my room and hide for a while. getting ready to go out now, just applying a brave face now.......


congratulations to everybody who made it past yesterday in one piece.

Morag

fozzle wrote: »

DeV, thank you for the advice but I've tried that and it just made things worse. I may have just been unlucky, my gp rekons so and gave me contact details for a different person but I haven't gone. I don't think I could cope with another half assed counselor/therapist.

I've been there, some of them are awful and treat you like a child and are frankly no professional. They are meant to have a certain amount of detachment but you can see their smug reactions and they need a kick up the hole with how they can't keep thier reactions/judgements to themselves.

You dont' need someone to tell you what you all ready know. For some people they need the hand holding and the warm fuzzys but there are some of who for whom that makes it worse. We need the type of cúnt of a therapist who will shake up how we are thinking and feeling about thing, but few are that brave or smart enough to be able to deal with those of who tend to defy convention and have 'what box?' ways of thinking.

But they are out there, get a referal and go in there and interview them and see are they up to the task, see if they are good enough, too many times we go to these 'professionals' and feel like we are going cap in hand to see if they will take us on when the facts are we end up paying them, so we deserve a certain level of service.

Don't give up, you deserve better in a therapist and a better life, cos frankly you rock more then you think.

cloud493

I find depression makes me write poetry a lot. Most of its probably crap like, but still.

cynder

cloud493 wrote: »

I find depression makes me write poetry a lot. Most of its probably crap like, but still.

I used to paint when I was down, some of the best paintings I ever did

Killer Pigeon

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C612cY7WuTw

jammstarr

Not looking forward to New Year's Eve

cloud493

grindelwald wrote: »

I used to paint when I was down, some of the best paintings I ever did

Thats great I dunno, maybe some of its good. I uploaded it on a poetry site, people seem to like it.