LETS ALL LAUGH AT PEOPLE WITH DEPRESSION!!

looking_around

cometogether wrote: »

I've felt terrible all day, my mind racing and playing things over while I don't concentrate on important stuff. Am alsuper stressed from college and the result I'll get in my degree as this is my final year. My counsellor said that I have problems with anxiety as well as depression and I didn't really know what that meant at all. I haven't gone to a doctor at all just a counsellor, would people recommend it?

I found meds useful.

Before meds, I used to fret and panic about school work. I'd fret so much, that I wouldn't get any done, which would fuel the panic....
essentially I was self-sabotaging myself. Obviously, if you spend all your time going "omg I'm going to do terribly", you don't have time or energy to do anything else.

Meds for me, allowed me to concentrate more, they weren't a cure, but they allowed me to target the cause of my problems, to deal with them and to overcome them (mostly). I'm still in therapy, but I'm off meds.

I would also suggest talking to someone in the uni, letting them know the difficulties you're having at the moment, they can be surprisingly helpful!

cometogether

looking_around wrote: »

I found meds useful.

Before meds, I used to fret and panic about school work. I'd fret so much, that I wouldn't get any done, which would fuel the panic....
essentially I was self-sabotaging myself. Obviously, if you spend all your time going "omg I'm going to do terribly", you don't have time or energy to do anything else.

Meds for me, allowed me to concentrate more, they weren't a cure, but they allowed me to target the cause of my problems, to deal with them and to overcome them (mostly). I'm still in therapy, but I'm off meds.

I would also suggest talking to someone in the uni, letting them know the difficulties you're having at the moment, they can be surprisingly helpful!

I've always just been afraid though that are they not meant to be addictive? Also, why wouldn't my counsellor have reccommended I go on them?

Kayleigh..

I feel so horrible not sleeping, head's a mess, feel ill, failed an exam. This is not my week

sunshine and showers

cometogether wrote: »

I've always just been afraid though that are they not meant to be addictive? Also, why wouldn't my counsellor have reccommended I go on them?

Your counsellor is just that: a counsellor. Not a doctor and medical professional. I think you should to see a doctor and talk to them about your issues. They might recommend medication or they might not. Usually you try them for at least three to six months to see if they're going to work for you. You might need to try a few different types to find the one for you. You might be on them forever, or for less than a year. It all depends and nobody can give you the correct advice for you except a doctor who understands your case.

It's nothing to be scared of. Easier said than done, I know, but you wouldn't tell a diabetic not to take insulin, would you? Antidepressants are the same thing when you think about it - people just tend not to think that way because depression and anxiety are "invisible" illnesses.

And no, not all medications for anxiety and depression are addictive. Some of them cannot be stopped abruptly, but it's not unusual to have to wean yourself off lots of types of medication to let your body get used to it.

You've taken great steps in seeing a counsellor, but I've found that the best approach to treating mental health problems (personally and from friends, etc) is a combined approach of a doctor and talk therapy. They sort of assist each other. Medication can help you get to a place where you can get your anxiety under control enough to tackle the issues causing it in therapy.

cometogether

sunshine and showers wrote: »

Your counsellor is just that: a counsellor. Not a doctor and medical professional. I think you should to see a doctor and talk to them about your issues. They might recommend medication or they might not. Usually you try them for at least three to six months to see if they're going to work for you. You might need to try a few different types to find the one for you. You might be on them forever, or for less than a year. It all depends and nobody can give you the correct advice for you except a doctor who understands your case.

It's nothing to be scared of. Easier said than done, I know, but you wouldn't tell a diabetic not to take insulin, would you? Antidepressants are the same thing when you think about it - people just tend not to think that way because depression and anxiety are "invisible" illnesses.

And no, not all medications for anxiety and depression are addictive. Some of them cannot be stopped abruptly, but it's not unusual to have to wean yourself off lots of types of medication to let your body get used to it.

You've taken great steps in seeing a counsellor, but I've found that the best approach to treating mental health problems (personally and from friends, etc) is a combined approach of a doctor and talk therapy. They sort of assist each other. Medication can help you get to a place where you can get your anxiety under control enough to tackle the issues causing it in therapy.

Thanks for the reply! I think I'll book an appointment tomorrow. Are meds generally expensive (sorry for all the questions). I feel sometimes though that I've left it too late to turn college around, as I'm finished lectures next month and have a couple of exams in January, its been continous assessment this year. While my results haven't been bad, I haven't failed anything, I wanted to do a lot better. I just know that if I get my degree and its not a 1:1 or a 2:1 that I'll feel like I wasted three years, because I know other people who've gotten degrees that good and who will get degrees that good. And its driving me mad.

DeVore

Kayleigh.. wrote: »

I feel so horrible not sleeping, head's a mess, feel ill, failed an exam. This is not my week

Yesterday was not my day either. Everything, literally every single thing I touched crumbled or went backwards, so much so that by the end I was not only giving out stink to myself at what a fraud I was... I was also curious how I would mess up the next thing I set to. Its a horrible feeling but it needn't last. I had a long bath, meditated a bit about how I felt about it all, went to bed early, slept and got up today and righted about half of the things. The rest were learning exercises and now I'm pressing on. There's nothing back there for me but regret and I'm all good for that thanks.

Hope this week goes better for you.

sunshine and showers

cometogether wrote: »

Thanks for the reply! I think I'll book an appointment tomorrow. Are meds generally expensive (sorry for all the questions). I feel sometimes though that I've left it too late to turn college around, as I'm finished lectures next month and have a couple of exams in January, its been continous assessment this year. While my results haven't been bad, I haven't failed anything, I wanted to do a lot better. I just know that if I get my degree and its not a 1:1 or a 2:1 that I'll feel like I wasted three years, because I know other people who've gotten degrees that good and who will get degrees that good. And its driving me mad.

It depends on the medication. If a generic is available, they can be ok. The ones that are still under patent can be expensive, around 70 euro and up a month (I know!).

Chat with the doctor and see what they say. If you are prescribed anything, ask the pharmacist if a generic is available. Actually, ask the doctor that too - then they can prescribe the generic drug name as opposed to a brand.

cometogether

sunshine and showers wrote: »

It depends on the medication. If a generic is available, they can be ok. The ones that are still under patent can be expensive, around 70 euro and up a month (I know!).

Chat with the doctor and see what they say. If you are prescribed anything, ask the pharmacist if a generic is available. Actually, ask the doctor that too - then they can prescribe the generic drug name as opposed to a brand.

Thanks. I guess if it stops me feeling like my head will explode and get rid of the sense of dread it can't hurt

Drumpot

DeVore wrote: »

Yesterday was not my day either. Everything, literally every single thing I touched crumbled or went backwards, so much so that by the end I was not only giving out stink to myself at what a fraud I was... I was also curious how I would mess up the next thing I set to. Its a horrible feeling but it needn't last. I had a long bath, meditated a bit about how I felt about it all, went to bed early, slept and got up today and righted about half of the things. The rest were learning exercises and now I'm pressing on. There's nothing back there for me but regret and I'm all good for that thanks.

Hope this week goes better for you.

Sometimes Dev, its the simple steps that can get me back to a balance. But when I am in the throngs of a complete low mood, it can be hard to see the light. .

CBT , therapy and professional support hasn't made my life an easy piece of piss fantasy, but what it has done is given me the mental tools to make my life much more manageable. I don't just mean "Ive learned to live with it", I mean I have ups and downs, but the downs do not consume me like they used to and I can enjoy my life in a much more balanced way.

What I needed to learn was that it takes time for therapy to work. I used to think that when I was in the middle of therapy, if I was still feeling down, it mustn't be working. This is a completely incorrect way of dealing with depression. Its searching for an immediate solution to how I am feeling.

If you think about it, zanex and sleeping tablets (ones that instantly work) are designed to give instant relief. That's why they are so easy to get addicted to and why they make it easy to not put in the mental work required to not be so reliant on them. When I feel sick I want to feel better, if I know popping a pill will improve how I feel, it makes absolute sense to do so.

I regularly read peoples posts here and its clear that many people were as blind to their situation as I was at the beginning. Self delusion was a particularly nasty habit I struggled to overcome. By its very definition I think few people are capable of identifying it in themselves. I would imagine that most people can spot things in other people (friends and family) that they see and go "why do they do that, its so obvious they should be - dieting, meditating, relaxing, more considerate" etc. You can bet that the same people we are judging and whose actions we are questioning are asking similar questions about some of our behaviour that we simply aren't mindful of. In short when it comes to looking at ourselves, we fall short because we simply don't know how to objectively assess our behaviour.

That is where speaking to a professional "stranger" comes into the equation. They can help us be honest with ourselves and help us work on the negative areas of our lives that we were either incapable or unwilling to acknowledge.

I had a funny weekend. I wont go into details, but Saturday was horrible for all kinds of reasons, most of which (on reflection - a lesson I learned through therapy) were to do with my older bad habits - feeling rotten and doing nothing about it. Sunday was great but the only thing that had changed was my mindset. I didn't sit about obsessed with "getting some rest", I made things happened by having a plan of action. Get up , do some housework, get out with the kids and go with the flow.

I needed to learn to be able to turn around a weekend like that. In the past, both days would of been write offs, but through the skills I learned in therapy , I was able to turn my mood/weekend around without medication or anything drastic being required to change.

This didn't happen by JUST sharing my feelings here and taking on board some peoples suggestions/techniques. It required reprogramming and learning new ways of living. It also required me to be honest with myself (purging self delusion) which on reflection was and can still be hard.

I don't think a day goes by that I am not speaking with a friend/family member or client where I don't hear them discuss something that shouts out "I cant see the role I play in this particular topic that I am complaining/upset about". I find, again only after learning to spot this in myself and speaking from experience, that most people are just at different levels of self delusion and to an extent self pity. Everything is about how something outside of them (government, their job, their family, their friends etc) is making them unhappy/sad.

Few people have the ability to actually see their role in how they feel. Some people will say things like "I know that I do this" or "I know that its not all x fault", but even at that, they aren't necessarily equipped to properly digest their involvement. In short, I don't know many people who couldn't do with a bit of therapy, but the only thing that seperates us, in my opinion, is exactly how much therapy we need depending on our individual circumstances.

mickstupp

The rampant cynicism, skepticism, general dismissiveness, and lack of empathy in AH has really started annoying me. More and more it feels like people don't give a damn about the difficulties of others. If this thread wasn't in AH I don't think I'd come near the place.

DeVore

People have often said to me that Boards is a "horrible place" and I always say that we are a mirror to society, make a better society and we'll reflect a better one.


But there are LOTS of really nice people out there (and in here!) and something I have done lately is to avoid all the 24/7 constant negativity of the general news and social media that isn't about a specific topic. Its just distilled nastyiness which doesn't really properly reflect how most people actually are. Read the backwaters of Boards and you will find the really nice people helping each other out.

Macavity.

Do you guys have much empathy? I lack empathy to a great extent tbh, I feel very detached from people most of the time.

looking_around

Macavity. wrote: »

Do you guys have much empathy? I lack empathy to a great extent tbh, I feel very detached from people most of the time.

I switch it on and off like a light switch.

But I think thats from years of having no feelings whatsoever.

cindrella

Hey guys first time to post here am a full time carer and have been feeling anxious and depressed for few months got medication from doctors and have started seeing a counsellor she was explaining to me today about everyone has an inner child. She asked me how my inner child
look I said she would be an orphanage in a cot where no one comes to pick her up and she doesn't cry anymore as she has learned that no one will come .

nadey

cindrella wrote: »

Hey guys first time to post here am a full time carer and have been feeling anxious and depressed for few months got medication from doctors and have started seeing a counsellor she was explaining to me today about everyone has an inner child. She asked me how my inner child
look I said she would be an orphanage in a cot where no one comes to pick her up and she doesn't cry anymore as she has learned that no one will come .

Get a better quack....seriously. your councillor sounds like an idiot

nadey

Macavity. wrote: »

Do you guys have much empathy? I lack empathy to a great extent tbh, I feel very detached from people most of the time.

If you isolate yourself its bound to happen. Try and socialise as much as possible, whether its joining a sports team or whatever. Just get out there, the empathy and anxiety will fade after a short time

Misty Moon

nadey wrote: »

cindrella wrote: »

Hey guys first time to post here am a full time carer and have been feeling anxious and depressed for few months got medication from doctors and have started seeing a counsellor she was explaining to me today about everyone has an inner child. She asked me how my inner child
look I said she would be an orphanage in a cot where no one comes to pick her up and she doesn't cry anymore as she has learned that no one will come .

Get a better quack....seriously. your councillor sounds like an idiot

Not really. That's a fairly standard thing, isn't it? Along with, "think of yourself as you were as a child, now, what if you met that child now, what would you do/say". It's just a way of trying to get at exactly how you're seeing yourself and the world. Sometimes people can put things into words when they have that bit of distance of talking about someone else, even if the someone else is still you in the form of your earlier self or inner child. At least that's my understanding of it.

Cindrella, go easy on yourself. Think of coming here as the place for your inner child to cry, if you like. There's always someone around.

cometogether

Got a result in college this morning and I did worse than everyone else, again. So stressed and fed up of all this s hit I just wanna go home and not see anyone

Roquentin

Macavity. wrote: »

Do you guys have much empathy? I lack empathy to a great extent tbh, I feel very detached from people most of the time.

i have empathy towards animals and thats it. its not that i detest other people; i just cant relate to them like others do

Aeternum

First time posting here but i have been reading and following the thread for a few months.

Having major issues sleeping lately, I feel like my brain won't turn off. I am physically wrecked but can't stop thinking - not necessarily bad thoughts just constant noise in my head about complete randomness.

When I do sleep it's broken and full of nightmares, feeling like I'm ready to crack up at this point

looking_around

Aeternum wrote: »

First time posting here but i have been reading and following the thread for a few months.

Having major issues sleeping lately, I feel like my brain won't turn off. I am physically wrecked but can't stop thinking - not necessarily bad thoughts just constant noise in my head about complete randomness.

When I do sleep it's broken and full of nightmares, feeling like I'm ready to crack up at this point

2 things. tell your doctor and get a counsellor.

your gp can give you something to help you sleep.
a counsellor can help you work out why you're stressing out before bed. and how to change it

looking_around

cometogether wrote: »

Got a result in college this morning and I did worse than everyone else, again. So stressed and fed up of all this s hit I just wanna go home and not see anyone

maybe talk to the college and take a break.from it? do things to look after your mental health, deal with whatever is making college difficult for you.

0byme75341jo28

Had great fun last night with an idiot of a "friend" I have when I told him about what's been going on.

He gave me some great advice including "drink more water", "shave your beard" and "fake it 'til you make it", along with telling me that I've a bad attitude, that I'm a "waster" and that he thought I was "better than that". Highlight of the evening was when he started mimicking self harm when I was about to leave :rolleyes:

Don't think I'll bother meeting up with him again...

Calibos

Cora Melodic Seed wrote: »

Had great fun last night with an idiot of a "friend" I have when I told him about what's been going on.

He gave me some great advice including "drink more water", "shave your beard" and "fake it 'til you make it", along with telling me that I've a bad attitude, that I'm a "waster" and that he thought I was "better than that". Highlight of the evening was when he started mimicking self harm when I was about to leave :rolleyes:

Don't think I'll bother meeting up with him again...

Christ Almighty. It really is true that you find out who are your true friends in times of stress and trouble. What kind of ignorant moron is he!! Jaysus!!

Misty Moon

Cora Melodic Seed wrote: »

Had great fun last night with an idiot of a "friend" I have when I told him about what's been going on.

He gave me some great advice including "drink more water", "shave your beard" and "fake it 'til you make it", along with telling me that I've a bad attitude, that I'm a "waster" and that he thought I was "better than that". Highlight of the evening was when he started mimicking self harm when I was about to leave :rolleyes:

Ah, but he didn't tell you to wrap a hot towel around your head, so he obviously doesn't know what he's on about.

Cora Melodic Seed wrote: »

Don't think I'll bother meeting up with him again...

Good choice

Misty Moon

Aeternum wrote: »

First time posting here but i have been reading and following the thread for a few months.

Having major issues sleeping lately, I feel like my brain won't turn off. I am physically wrecked but can't stop thinking - not necessarily bad thoughts just constant noise in my head about complete randomness.

When I do sleep it's broken and full of nightmares, feeling like I'm ready to crack up at this point

As looking_around said, talk to your GP and see a counsellor.

I'd just add that it might not be a bad thing to take a look at your caffeine intake and/or try not to compensate for your lack of sleep by drinking loads of tea/coffee/red bull/whatever your choice of caffeinated drink is. I had to give up caffeine years ago and I was amazed at how much my sleep was affected.

Some kind of meditation might also be useful. I don't do it myself, it's just one of those things lots of people seem to get a lot out of and that I'd like to try properly sometime. I do remember being told once that it's impossible to think of nothing so learning to mediate could help with directing your thoughts. I've only had one time when I struggled a bit with insomnia and that was after something significant had happened so I knew why but it was still horrible - would be tired, go to bed and then lay there with mind racing until the small hours. I really feel for you, it's horrible.

One thing I've done sometimes with nightmares is to keep a notebook and pencil (why not a pen? Who knows, just somehow felt right to have a pencil at nighttime) beside the bed and when I wake up because of a nightmare, try and write down the few bits of it I remember. That helps me because, for me, the worst part is waking up the next morning feeling disturbed but not quite sure why - if I can look at what I wrote down and see that in my dream I was on a murdering ramage because my friend's mother threw out my sofa (yes, really, my nightmares are about as prosaic as my life), then I can dismiss it as nonsense more easily, rather than carrying around the unease with me all day and wondering why.

Aeternum

Misty Moon wrote: »

As looking_around said, talk to your GP and see a counsellor.

I'd just add that it might not be a bad thing to take a look at your caffeine intake and/or try not to compensate for your lack of sleep by drinking loads of tea/coffee/red bull/whatever your choice of caffeinated drink is. I had to give up caffeine years ago and I was amazed at how much my sleep was affected.

Some kind of meditation might also be useful. I don't do it myself, it's just one of those things lots of people seem to get a lot out of and that I'd like to try properly sometime. I do remember being told once that it's impossible to think of nothing so learning to mediate could help with directing your thoughts. I've only had one time when I struggled a bit with insomnia and that was after something significant had happened so I knew why but it was still horrible - would be tired, go to bed and then lay there with mind racing until the small hours. I really feel for you, it's horrible.

One thing I've done sometimes with nightmares is to keep a notebook and pencil (why not a pen? Who knows, just somehow felt right to have a pencil at nighttime) beside the bed and when I wake up because of a nightmare, try and write down the few bits of it I remember. That helps me because, for me, the worst part is waking up the next morning feeling disturbed but not quite sure why - if I can look at what I wrote down and see that in my dream I was on a murdering ramage because my friend's mother threw out my sofa (yes, really, my nightmares are about as prosaic as my life), then I can dismiss it as nonsense more easily, rather than carrying around the unease with me all day and wondering why.

I have been to my GP several times and am waiting for an appointment with a counselling service. I think my caffeine intake is pretty okay, I don't drink any red bull or similar and would have max one coffee a day, if any, so hopefully that's not the issue.

I am on lexapro but not sure if it's working really, I know it takes time for these things to help but I'm getting a bit impatient I suppose.

I should look into meditation, and writing down the nightmares too. The GP mentioned sleeping tablets and I know it sounds silly, but I'm on so many medications already due to health problems that I immediately turned down the option. If it keeps like this I'll have to try them though.

Thanks for the advice.

Kayleigh..

In such a bad mood lately, it's not even worth trying to fix anymore :rolleyes:

DeVore

Kayleigh.. wrote: »

In such a bad mood lately, it's not even worth trying to fix anymore :rolleyes:

That's the lie the evil hobgoblin in your head tells you because it doesn't want you to try. F*ck that guy. Just take it one day at a time until you are strong enough to continue the fight.

DeVore

Cora Melodic Seed wrote: »

Had great fun last night with an idiot of a "friend" I have when I told him about what's been going on.

He gave me some great advice including "drink more water", "shave your beard" and "fake it 'til you make it", along with telling me that I've a bad attitude, that I'm a "waster" and that he thought I was "better than that". Highlight of the evening was when he started mimicking self harm when I was about to leave :rolleyes:

Don't think I'll bother meeting up with him again...

Yeah, he sounds like a gobsh1te.

Some people freak the f*ck out when they have to talk about this sort of stuff because they either don't feel equipped for it (and most aren't) or they feel their façade is threatened by honesty. Everyone has a façade, the face they show the public/friends/whoever. Very few have the courage to let that slip and many will fight tooth and nail if you even threaten it, they are so scared behind it.

Funny thing is, the overwhelming response I got from talking to friends was "Oh God, thank you for saying that, I've been looking for someone who would understand but I never got the nerve to tell anyone. I feel exactly the same" *cue 2 hours of them talking about their problems like a dam just broke *...

Look at this thread, the most common response has been "I thought I was the only one" or "I didn't have the nerve to speak up on my own".

Don't let this jackasses shortcomings hamper your recovery. Well done on reaching out to someone. Don't be put off, you are the honest one and you took the risk. That's brilliant and you should feel proud of your courage... it a major step on the way to contentment.