LETS ALL LAUGH AT PEOPLE WITH DEPRESSION!!

ShadowHearth

I am not big drinker, but I think I'll pass on drinking for a bit due to last night. I was in very dark place last night, something snaped in my head.
I feel like **** this morning ( not the drink) and all I want to do is just drop and cry. I don't even know exactly why. Maybe everything caught up with me and just blew in my face in one concentrated ball.

sunshine and showers

ShadowHearth wrote: »

I am not big drinker, but I think I'll pass on drinking for a bit due to last night. I was in very dark place last night, something snaped in my head.
I feel like **** this morning ( not the drink) and all I want to do is just drop and cry. I don't even know exactly why. Maybe everything caught up with me and just blew in my face in one concentrated ball.

Sometimes a good cry is exactly what you need. It helps you release all the pent up cráp.

Call Me Jimmy

DeVore wrote: »

Yeah, he sounds like a gobsh1te.

Some people freak the f*ck out when they have to talk about this sort of stuff because they either don't feel equipped for it (and most aren't) or they feel their façade is threatened by honesty. Everyone has a façade, the face they show the public/friends/whoever. Very few have the courage to let that slip and many will fight tooth and nail if you even threaten it, they are so scared behind it.

Funny thing is, the overwhelming response I got from talking to friends was "Oh God, thank you for saying that, I've been looking for someone who would understand but I never got the nerve to tell anyone. I feel exactly the same" *cue 2 hours of them talking about their problems like a dam just broke *...

Look at this thread, the most common response has been "I thought I was the only one" or "I didn't have the nerve to speak up on my own".

Don't let this jackasses shortcomings hamper your recovery. Well done on reaching out to someone. Don't be put off, you are the honest one and you took the risk. That's brilliant and you should feel proud of your courage... it a major step on the way to contentment.

Very interesting point, I've thought about it a lot. Obviously there is a need to not always be honest, but the opposite is what happens. People get so used to displaying the facade they can lose touch with what really is going on inside them. I've found extremely honest moments between people or a group of people are such a relief to all involved (especially 'lads' because we front more than anyone - to comical levels at times).

If this was a very good friend Prince, is it possible they were so out of their depth they reverted to humour and slagging (modus operandi for a lot of men?). It's hard to believe that a good friend would be malicious in such a situation but maybe I've just been lucky not to have encountered that

The Strawman Argument

"fake it 'til you make it" :pac:

From my experience, anyone I've gauged as being okay to talk to about it, which has been quite a lot of people really, have been very good about it! Some of them open up about their own experiences and that's pretty wonderful (hell, I bring it up sometimes to see if I can mine more stimulating conversation out of people!), others basically ask a few questions and carry on as normal.

There's some people that I can just tell would not deal with it at all though, especially in the moment of finding out; I think they panic and feel like the person telling them is expecting some kind of help, I'd imagine that's what yer mate there thought. He might be way better next time you see him.
I find talking about these kinds of things with people less comfortable about it over facebook to go a lot more smoothly than bringing it up in person but a lot of this really depends on how others perceive you and how you assume they perceive you so your mileage may vary.



So yeah, I forgot to take my effexor prescription two days ago, had a crazy dream, slept something like 15 hours straight and then was very nauseous yesterday evening (several hours after taking the next days). Unsure if I had some mild virus or those were some kind of delayed withdrawal symptoms.

Drumpot

I have been badly anxious for the last few weeks. Had a panic attack few days ago and felt compelled to go to A&E.

Generally very tired, fidgety, poor concentration and just feeling down.

Not really sure exactly what it is, but I am trying to revert to my "training". Reading a CBT book and trying to take positive steps (exercise, meditation, alternative therapy's). Constantly reminding myself that this will pass. .

Its not easy, but I certainly feel better equipped to manage it then I used to. .

I liked reading peoples comments on the reaction of friends or family when they are informed of how poor a person feels. . I find the façade of most quite difficult to stomach when I am out. To be honest, I used to live my life with a front, so I find it nauseating when I am speaking with a self deluded ignoramus who is stuck with their rose tinted "I know what I know" attitude to things they have absolutely no understanding of.

I had to edit this part of my post for self censorship reasons. In summary, I have to try to not engage with these kind of people because it upsets me. Trying to correct an ignorant person who values their own wisdom over all else, is at best tiresome. I love the phrase "would you rather be right, or would you rather be happy"? Its one I regularly try to follow, but its a hard one to master .. Especially with social forums making opinions so easy to express . .

I was and can be as ignorant as the people I give out about, so there is an element of self loathing and hypocrisy somewhere in that . . I believe that If I can stay honest with myself, I will eventually end up with like minded honest people and wont have to worry about the many self deluded people who I let upset me.

Call Me Jimmy

An easy way to combat people's ignorance without getting invested just remember 'they know not what they do'. You could say some people are willfully ignorant but that itself is ignorance. So applies to all in my opinion

TheSegal

Went through almost uncontrollable spells of anger today. A friend of mine started a row with me over 9 euro, I offered him the money but he said it was the fact that I asked him for it. Got some beer for a house party and got his cans along with everyone else cause we agreed i'd pick it up for everyone and they would pay me back. He said he shouldn't have to pay cause he always offers me some in his house! I always return the favor when he calls over to mine. I know this sounds incredibly petty but writing it down helped me.

Maybe I was in the wrong asking him for the money but it felt like the floodgates in my mind opened and every ounce of anger that I haven't felt in a month just came pouring out at once, luckily I didn't take it out on anyone. Fists were clenched for a large portion of the day and every so often I had to unclench my jaw because I didn't realise that I was clenching it.

I never used to experience this sort of anger when I was younger, even 4 years ago I wouldn't have experience this. I'm 27 now and thought this is the sort of crap you get out of your system when you're in your teens. Going to go to the gym this evening though and hopefully I can put this anger to some use

0byme75341jo28

Call Me Jimmy wrote: »

Very interesting point, I've thought about it a lot. Obviously there is a need to not always be honest, but the opposite is what happens. People get so used to displaying the facade they can lose touch with what really is going on inside them. I've found extremely honest moments between people or a group of people are such a relief to all involved (especially 'lads' because we front more than anyone - to comical levels at times).

If this was a very good friend Prince, is it possible they were so out of their depth they reverted to humour and slagging (modus operandi for a lot of men?). It's hard to believe that a good friend would be malicious in such a situation but maybe I've just been lucky not to have encountered that

It wasn't intended to be humorous or anything, completely malicious. Anyway, doesn't matter anymore, I don't need people like him around me.

My head's all over the place today. I'm very confused, don't even know what's going on. Not good.

cindrella

Tired today

Drumpot

Must add to my post the other day (on friends/family who don't understand and can get judgey).

I emailed friends today just saying I might not make the lads night out planned for Christmas. Said it straight out that I am just feeling anxious all day everyday and that it would make me more anxious committing to a night out. .

There has been nothing but support. One friends way of supporting was a small email saying "Don't worry, you suit yourself on this one". That's enough for me from him. Another friend has been texting asking me if there is anything he can do and asking if I am getting professional help. That's more then enough support from him. He doesn't understand but just wants to know I will be ok.

There was a time when I would of made up some excuse not to go out. I would of blame the wife or come up with some elaborate reason why I couldn't make it out on that night. In some cases I would dread it right up until the day of the night out and would then come up with a random reason why I couldn't go out (after days of dreading it and doing nothing!). .

I post this for anybody who is stuck where I was or anybody who has been reading my more recent posts and thinking "sure haven't you been saying that CBT is great and that you are really happy" etc . .

I believe that Life is seldom perfect and I don't have that unrealistic expectation of how I used to think that life should be. Through CBT I have told my friends I might not make it out on our night out, I don't feel guilty for saying it (used to think I was letting them down) and I told them exactly why I am non committal to the night out (whereas I used to make up excuses).

Even posting this, I realise, that while I feel anxious still, I am getting some comfort from reflecting on exactly what I have posted. I actually value myself enough to be honest with my friends and give my mental health the respect that I never really gave myself.

My pain is out there. I am not looking for sympathy, I am just being honest with myself and with my friends. I am allowing the real me to breath and what this does for me is that it takes that sense of loneliness away. Again, I used to lie about why I wasn't going out, so nobody really knew exactly why the real me wasn't going out.

Lyaiera

Drumpot wrote: »

I don't think a day goes by that I am not speaking with a friend/family member or client where I don't hear them discuss something that shouts out "I cant see the role I play in this particular topic that I am complaining/upset about". I find, again only after learning to spot this in myself and speaking from experience, that most people are just at different levels of self delusion and to an extent self pity. Everything is about how something outside of them (government, their job, their family, their friends etc) is making them unhappy/sad.

If anyone's interested in more about this google, "Locus of control."

And I agree with you. It's super important to get to grips with having control over what you do. I've been going through a bad period, examining a lot of things and I know I'm going to come out the better because of it.

TommieBoy

comparison robs me of my joy.
does anyone else find that to be true?

DeVore

Drumpot, its great that you are comfortable enough with yourself and your mental health to be able to say that. I think its really important for us (you and I particularly, but everyone else too) to be honest about what "dealing with it successfully" is like. Its not a bed of roses but normal life ISNT, for anyone! I'm doing a hellova lot better these days but that doesn't mean I don't get anxious or down or all the other symptoms of this evil hobgoblin in my head.
I think its important to be honest about everything, anything else is delusion I cant afford to indulge in. I don't think we always have to be forthright with everyone in every social setting but we need to be honest with ourselves.

Its important imho, that people reading this know that there is hope and most certainly there is but its a realistic hope of a realistic recovery/management.

In that respect, your post is a really valuable one for us all.

DeVore

TommieBoy wrote: »

comparison robs me of my joy.
does anyone else find that to be true?

Very much so. Absolutely.

Calibos

Been dealing fairly well and getting through tasks that a year or so ago were triggering anxiety episodes. However the big trigger that triggered my anxiety in the first place back in early 2013 is the one trigger that still remains and guaranteed to knock me for 6 again. ie. a Sick dog. It was one of my 10 year old Westies developing Pancreatitis which I knew was terminal and painful that tipped me over into GAD and depression in early 2013. Having to make the decision to PTS was the lowest most upsetting moment in my life. His brother does not have pancreatitis but at 12 is getting on in years and every time he gets sick these days it triggers anxiety even though I know hes just sick and not ill or terminal if you get me.

So off to the doctor today for me to get a script for more 250mg Xanax. My last script for 10 tablets lasted me from Oct 2nd till now. So all in all I feel I am coping well but jaysus I had almost forgotten how bad a bad anxiety episode made me feel. I never fail to be amazed by the resilience of some of you guys who get full blown panic attacks (Personally I only ever had one during an argument while acclimatizing to Cymbalta early last year. Been off Cymbalta since early this year) As a result, despite how I might be feeling at the moment due to the current trigger event, I count my blessings that in the grand scheme of things I only have mild anxiety compared to what a lot of you are dealing with,

Be Strong and Be Well everyone.

DeVore

I worry about my dog too... he drives me mad sometimes but I also care for him! You've given them a great home and a great life, without which they would almost certainly have been put to sleep as pups. My fella is a rescue and was literally facing that prospect so when the time comes (many years from now hopefully!) I want to remember that we had a great life together and that this is part of the natural order of things.

I have the same trigger over my father btw and its taken a lot of work to get to the point where I can discuss his mortality, even with myself, without being in floods of tears. Its something you work on and improve over time with thought and meditation imho.

SherlockWatson

The hardest thing is finding the motivation to do anything at times, I got up this morning at 8 for a run, and couldn't bring myself to leave the house, and just ended up going back to bed. I'm not a big fan of this weather.

roro1990

Has anyone here ever been diagnosed with dysthymic disorder as opposed to depression? I've never had an official diagnosis from a psychologist, but my mood has been low so frequently that I've come to accept it as part of my personality and i'm now realizing that this is not normal. I only ever feel like talking to people when I've a few drinks on me and I struggle to even find the motivation to exercise.

My appetite is fine though and I've got zero suicidal thoughts which is why i'm thinking it's not major depression. More like chronic low mood. I tend not to talk much even to my family. The last time I was truly happy was when I was 18/19 and i'm now 24. I've pretty low self esteem and suffer badly with anxiety. Can anyone relate to this sort of chronic low mood and if so, what did you do about it?

Drumpot

SherlockWatson wrote: »

The hardest thing is finding the motivation to do anything at times, I got up this morning at 8 for a run, and couldn't bring myself to leave the house, and just ended up going back to bed. I'm not a big fan of this weather.

I can relate to this, more so when I want to get something done and just can't muster the motivation to do it. Then I sometimes beat myself up.

One of the things I try to do now is to break down whatever it is I was going to do. So for example if I am dreading cleaning the whole garden , I commit to cutting the grass. Only takes 10 mins and at least I will get some part of the garden done.

When I used to jog or go for walks I would always be quite strict with myself to a fault. If I didn't have the right conditions (a free hour, not too cold out, not raining, can't bring the dogs out etc) I would do nothing. Now I am way more flexible and willing to change the parameters of whatever it is I really don't feel up to doing!

Call Me Jimmy

Also lads I haven't seen a morning in a long time. I can never do it of my own volition but people say go for walks, if ye can early morning seems like the best time to do that. Seems like if someone committed to that (assuming maybe not working) they'd get through the day a lot more adjusted or something.

DeVore

Drumpot wrote: »

I can relate to this, more so when I want to get something done and just can't muster the motivation to do it. Then I sometimes beat myself up.

One of the things I try to do now is to break down whatever it is I was going to do. So for example if I am dreading cleaning the whole garden , I commit to cutting the grass. Only takes 10 mins and at least I will get some part of the garden done.

When I used to jog or go for walks I would always be quite strict with myself to a fault. If I didn't have the right conditions (a free hour, not too cold out, not raining, can't bring the dogs out etc) I would do nothing. Now I am way more flexible and willing to change the parameters of whatever it is I really don't feel up to doing!

I do this too... but sometimes I find that I do one little bit and I get a perk up from having achieved it and I go on to do the rest "while the iron is hot". I do struggle with getting started and especially if its not an immediate problem

Drumpot

Call Me Jimmy wrote: »

Also lads I haven't seen a morning in a long time. I can never do it of my own volition but people say go for walks, if ye can early morning seems like the best time to do that. Seems like if someone committed to that (assuming maybe not working) they'd get through the day a lot more adjusted or something.

One of the things I learned is not to take all advice literally, particularly when there were certain elements of the advice (like in this case getting up in the morning for the walk) that I would struggle to overcome. A walk anytime in the day is better then no walk!

Another thing I learned is to stop setting myself huge targets. God knows I had an idea of where I wanted to be in life. But constantly comparing where I felt I was at any given moment to where I wanted to be made it feel like an insurmountable target. As such I would give up or do nothing.

This ties in with my previous post of "doing even a fraction of what I want to do is better then doing none of it". It also ties in with what devore said in that I always get a boost from doing something and end up doong way more then I planned.

This is learned habits that I have been able to unravel, but I needed professional help to change this mindset. Having an I objective professional look at my life allows me to improve areas of my life I simply cannot either see or fix. You know the way there are people we all know, that we wonder "how do they not see that they should do "insert here" to
Improve their life". It can be easier to see other peoples flaws and what other people should do in certain instances but I think the hardest thing can be practising what we preach. I also think that most of us didn't grow up learning how to objectively view how we live our lives.

0byme75341jo28

I feel awful I don't think lexapro is suiting me (neither did lustral) but I don't want to tell my doctor in case he decides I shouldn't be in meds, I feel like they're the only thing that could help me for the foreseeable future

looking_around

Cora Melodic Seed wrote: »

I feel awful I don't think lexapro is suiting me (neither did lustral) but I don't want to tell my doctor in case he decides I shouldn't be in meds, I feel like they're the only thing that could help me for the foreseeable future

meds are trial and error, unfortunately, tell your doctor.

C14N

Quick question for the thread that I hope someone can clear up for me:

Does it still count as depression if there is a clear, identifiable root cause? From all I see about depression, it seems to be something that can happen to the most unlikely people and is treated with medicine like any other illness. So if there is a clear cause of why someone is feeling so bad such as a death or loneliness, is it still considered depression?

looking_around

C14N wrote: »

Quick question for the thread that I hope someone can clear up for me:

Does it still count as depression if there is a clear, identifiable root cause? From all I see about depression, it seems to be something that can happen to the most unlikely people and is treated with medicine like any other illness. So if there is a clear cause of why someone is feeling so bad such as a death or loneliness, is it still considered depression?

yes, it can be.

depression without a cause is "clinical depression" or "chronic depression" (among others.)

If you go to a GP, there's a chance they'll still offer meds, but I think good counselling would probably be more affective.

Mars Bar

C14N wrote: »

Quick question for the thread that I hope someone can clear up for me:

Does it still count as depression if there is a clear, identifiable root cause? From all I see about depression, it seems to be something that can happen to the most unlikely people and is treated with medicine like any other illness. So if there is a clear cause of why someone is feeling so bad such as a death or loneliness, is it still considered depression?

Yup

Mine came about after a road traffic accident

0byme75341jo28

What is the difference between a psychologist/psychotherapist and a counsellor?

Just curious.

Cheers.

bodice ripper

Cora Melodic Seed wrote: »

What is the difference between a psychologist/psychotherapist and a counsellor?

Just curious.

Cheers.

the amount of schooling they have to do.

Misty Moon

Call Me Jimmy wrote: »

Also lads I haven't seen a morning in a long time. I can never do it of my own volition but people say go for walks, if ye can early morning seems like the best time to do that. Seems like if someone committed to that (assuming maybe not working) they'd get through the day a lot more adjusted or something.

Cora Melodic Seed wrote: »

What is the difference between a psychologist/psychotherapist and a counsellor?

Just curious.

Cheers.

It's often also just terminology that people use. I often say counsellor rather than therapist and I almost never say psychologist, even thought that's who I go to see. If you're thinking of going to see someone you can check with the relevant umbrella organisations to make sure that they're registered and don't ever be afraid to ask someone where exactly they got their qualifications and what those qualifications are.