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LETS ALL LAUGH AT PEOPLE WITH DEPRESSION!!
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In a similar situation myself, my daughter has depression and anxiety and we are finding it hard to get proper help. I've had depression in the past, been doing well for months now but I can feel myself starting to slide. I haven't been able to find much support for the carers of sufferers. I hope you get through it, your partner is lucky to have you.
+1.
Same here, I don't have depression but like your daughter, my son does, and anxiety and panic attacks , but to name a few
I have posted in here a good few times , and am grateful for the advice and support I have gotten to be honest. Just someone listening. (reading), makes a difference and can give you a sense of - ok I can cope with this today , if that makes sense
you look after yourself also eviltwin, Hope you start to feel a little better soon.0 -
Join Date:Posts: 17292
I don't want to intrude on this thread as I myself don't suffer from depression, but my partner has, and so I was wondering if anyone could reccommend a support group or service for partners of people with depression, or if it's possible to ask questions here? I'm nearing my wits end with my partner and through no fault of theirs, I can see us heading for a separation if I don't find some way of venting and getting sound advice on how to deal with situations. Thanks,
Grey
Grey, once you listen to your partner and understand them thats the majority of the battle in itself. If you feel like you don't understand then maybe go to the GP when your partner is going into them and ask them about local groups you and your partner could attend together. Once you are in it together it will all get easier.In a similar situation myself, my daughter has depression and anxiety and we are finding it hard to get proper help. I've had depression in the past, been doing well for months now but I can feel myself starting to slide. I haven't been able to find much support for the carers of sufferers. I hope you get through it, your partner is lucky to have you.+1.
Same here, I don't have depression but like your daughter, my son does, and anxiety and panic attacks , but to name a few
I have posted in here a good few times , and am grateful for the advice and support I have gotten to be honest. Just someone listening. (reading), makes a difference and can give you a sense of - ok I can cope with this today , if that makes sense
you look after yourself also eviltwin, Hope you start to feel a little better soon.
Guys the best thing I can say to you is to talk openly on boards for advice and maybe talk to others who are in your position.
Mam of 4, i know there is a group for parents of depression suffers, I will try get you the details but I think it is in Tullamore 0 -
Guys the best thing I can say to you is to talk openly on boards for advice and maybe talk to others who are in your position.
Mam of 4, i know there is a group for parents of depression suffers, I will try get you the details but I think it is in Tullamore
Ah thank you jonny24 , but I doubt I'd be able to get to them anyway but I really appreciate your kind thoughts !!
Good to know you're doing ok , this genuinely is the best thread on Boards, imo.
Think it truly helps so many people in so many different ways .0 -
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Been a while since I posted here.
I recently had my dosage of Efexor reduced from 150mg down to 75mg, so it looks like I'm on the closing stretch. I'm still not able to effectively manage my life without the need for medication but I do feel like I'm getting closer, so that's something I guess?
What's mainly getting me down right now is loneliness.
I spoke previously about a friend I had feelings for, and long story short we got our wires crossed and we're not friends anymore by the looks of things. I signed up for meetup.com but talk myself out of going to meetings, telling myself that I shouldn't try to find friends until I can make a "better" version of myself. After all, why would anyone want to be my friend if I'm not willing to be my own?
I also signed up for a gym programme but it's only one week in and I'm feeling deflated and demotivated. I had told myself I'd get up early today and go to the gym for a bit of extra training; sure enough, I woke up quite early but instead ended up staying in bed all day. Even though I feel like I've made some progress over the past year or so, it doesn't feel like it's been quick enough, and the older I get the less patience I have. How people keep up their motivation to keep going without folding back into old ways I never know. 0 -
Deleted User wrote: »Been a while since I posted here.
I recently had my dosage of Efexor reduced from 150mg down to 75mg, so it looks like I'm on the closing stretch. I'm still not able to effectively manage my life without the need for medication but I do feel like I'm getting closer, so that's something I guess?
What's mainly getting me down right now is loneliness. I spoke previously about a friend I had feelings for, and long story short we got our wires crossed and we're not friends anymore by the looks of things. I signed up for meetup.com but talk myself out of going to meetings, telling myself that I shouldn't try to find friends until I can make a "better" version of myself. After all, why would anyone want to be my friend if I'm not willing to be my own?
I also signed up for a gym programme but it's only one week in and I'm feeling deflated and demotivated. I had told myself I'd get up early today and go to the gym for a bit of extra training; sure enough, I woke up quite early but instead ended up staying in bed all day. Even though I feel like I've made some progress over the past year or so, it doesn't feel like it's been quick enough, and the older I get the less patience I have. How people keep up their motivation to keep going without folding back into old ways I never know.
hi
i dont mean to be rude but one cannot force themselves to have friends. If one goes out to try and make friends they will not. It is spontaneous. To be liked one has to first like themselves. The moral being one will find friendship when they are not looking0 -
hi
i dont mean to be rude but one cannot force themselves to have friends. If one goes out to try and make friends they will not. It is spontaneous. To be liked one has to first like themselves. The moral being one will find friendship when they are not looking
Well I don't think you're being rude at all but I'm not quite sure where you're coming from. After all, the whole point of sites like meetup is for going out and meeting new people; I'm not gonna make friends if I keep entirely to myself and don't make an effort to engage with others, and that's kinda what I'm doing right now because I want to try and "like" myself a bit more first before throwing myself out there at the mercy of others.
I've never spontaneously made friends, acquaintances maybe but not proper friends. The person who I would count as probably my best friend lives in England, so I don't get to see him that often. And the only proper friend I had that I met up with regularly was the one I mentioned in my last post. 0 -
Deleted User wrote: »Well I don't think you're being rude at all but I'm not quite sure where you're coming from. After all, the whole point of sites like meetup is for going out and meeting new people; I'm not gonna make friends if I keep entirely to myself and don't make an effort to engage with others, and that's kinda what I'm doing right now because I want to try and "like" myself a bit more first before throwing myself out there at the mercy of others.
I've never spontaneously made friends, acquaintances maybe but not proper friends. The person who I would count as probably my best friend lives in England, so I don't get to see him that often. And the only proper friend I had that I met up with regularly was the one I mentioned in my last post.
im not saying dont go out. im saying dont go out to make friends. instead go out to enjoy yourself and you will make friends.
if one consciously tries to force the issue, you put yourself under pressure. If one tries to force themselves to sleep, they will fail. the trick is to just relax and eventually one falls asleep.
most things in life rely on instinct. if we consciously try to force the issue we fail.0 -
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Yeah I know making friends requires effort but right now I feel like I need to improve myself somehow before I'm "deserving" of friends. The loneliness can be a killer but I don't see myself making too many friends until I "like" myself a bit more. Losing a friend to unrequited feelings is a bitch though, I think I've just been completely deflated by that this week.
Motivation, that's a toughie but give the gym a chance, try to really exhaust yourself there, there is a lovely peace and quiet that comes when you are just too tired to maintain the whirlwind of thoughts.
What I do is simply not listen to myself when I start to "talk myself out of it". Get bloody-minded. Get thick about it. Stick your head down and go, don't even enter into the discussion with yourself, its just not up for debate. Be it the gym or a meetup or whatever. Grit your teeth and do it. No argument.
That is how you hurt the hobgoblin (my word for the nasty in my head). He doesn't want you to be happy, he doesn't want you to go out, he wants you all to himself, nice and depressed and demotivated. He's the one who whispers in your ear not to go, not to get out of bed.
Know your enemy.
How you hurt him is not listening to him. He'll hate it. He'll howl. Feck him, do it anyway. Enjoy the pain he will share with you (because he'll try his damnedest to share the pain with you), enjoy it because its the feeling of victory over this little bastard who has held you back from your life for so so long. Hurt him. Do all the things he doesn't want you to do. Savour the fight because it gets a little easier each time and he gets a little weaker. Don't listen to him, set your course and drive onwards with it. Every time he trys to tell you not to go, go twice that week.
This is your life, fight him for it.
I think I need to print this out and put it somewhere by my bed where I can read it every morning when I need to.0 -
Join Date:Posts: 29920
Losing a friend that way hurts, but in a sense it *should* hurt, that's right and proper. Whats not right is if you "wallow" in it (again, more of my homebrewed language!).
If you think printing it out will help you, do it! (No copyright here ).
Seriously, do whatever you think will help you in this fight. Doesn't matter how stupid it feels or how much you don't want to do it (I hated the idea of counselling). Just get thick about it, put your pride away and do it. You're in a fight, the prize is your one and only life, stop pulling your punches. 0 -
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Hi everyone,
Thanks for all the advice and recommendations, I tried to get back to answer sooner but managed to forget my login
and then I ran out of 'thanks' for everyone.
Today's a bit better, though to be honest the frustrations just seething away under the surface. A part of this is because my partner won't go to see anyone, a GP or otherwise for help with this, (they had a very poor experience prior to this which scarred them, and the idea of medication is abhorrent to them as a result), and I'm very aware that you can't make anyone attend a Dr's office. In the back of my mind though I feel like shouting at them that possibly this time it'll be different and there will be help, but I don't. We've discussed it during the up moments and the down moments, and each time it comes back to them being 'fine' and 'able to cope'.
The second possibly more frustrating part is the, I'm not sure if this is the correct wording, but well, loneliness of it all. My partner has no interests in anything physical, so it's been a long while since we've had any form of sexual contact. They will kiss me, but most times it's affectionate kisses on the cheek, lips or forehead, rather than a lasting snog if that makes sense? Not that I want the face worn off me all the time but more than once in a while would be nice. I'm regularly told that I'm loved, and I do believe that, with all my heart, else I wouldn't still be here, but still, it's frustrating, not only in a physical sense, but in a 'wait, what??' sense, when we're having discussions about feelings or such and I'm told 'ah I only really feel neutral most of the time' to other things.
So, aye, that was a bit of a rant. Thanks for reading, and thanks again for the recommendations, I've looked at the Aware site and there's very very useful stuff there. Admittedly it does essentially start with 'get thee to a gp', and we may be a way away from that yet but still, thanks again 0 -
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Join Date:Posts: 17292
Hi everyone,
Thanks for all the advice and recommendations, I tried to get back to answer sooner but managed to forget my login and then I ran out of 'thanks' for everyone.
Today's a bit better, though to be honest the frustrations just seething away under the surface. A part of this is because my partner won't go to see anyone, a GP or otherwise for help with this, (they had a very poor experience prior to this which scarred them, and the idea of medication is abhorrent to them as a result), and I'm very aware that you can't make anyone attend a Dr's office. In the back of my mind though I feel like shouting at them that possibly this time it'll be different and there will be help, but I don't. We've discussed it during the up moments and the down moments, and each time it comes back to them being 'fine' and 'able to cope'.
The second possibly more frustrating part is the, I'm not sure if this is the correct wording, but well, loneliness of it all. My partner has no interests in anything physical, so it's been a long while since we've had any form of sexual contact. They will kiss me, but most times it's affectionate kisses on the cheek, lips or forehead, rather than a lasting snog if that makes sense? Not that I want the face worn off me all the time but more than once in a while would be nice. I'm regularly told that I'm loved, and I do believe that, with all my heart, else I wouldn't still be here, but still, it's frustrating, not only in a physical sense, but in a 'wait, what??' sense, when we're having discussions about feelings or such and I'm told 'ah I only really feel neutral most of the time' to other things.
So, aye, that was a bit of a rant. Thanks for reading, and thanks again for the recommendations, I've looked at the Aware site and there's very very useful stuff there. Admittedly it does essentially start with 'get thee to a gp', and we may be a way away from that yet but still, thanks again
Grey, did you happen to read the segment in the Indo yesterday? If not drop me a PM with your email and I will forward it on to you, I thought it was very useful for people in your position. Going to the GP about it is the hardest thing to do but once that happens things will get easier for your partner 0 -
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Losing a friend that way hurts, but in a sense it *should* hurt, that's right and proper. Whats not right is if you "wallow" in it (again, more of my homebrewed language!).
If you think printing it out will help you, do it! (No copyright here ).
Seriously, do whatever you think will help you in this fight. Doesn't matter how stupid it feels or how much you don't want to do it (I hated the idea of counselling). Just get thick about it, put your pride away and do it. You're in a fight, the prize is your one and only life, stop pulling your punches.
I get wallowing in it isn't the right thing to do. If I think objectively then I can understand that perfectly, and it's what I'd say to anyone else in the same situation. Unfortunately, I can't just think objectively. And subjectively wallowing is all I want to do right now. I've been broken up with before, and that sucked majorly, but this hurts more for some reason; we weren't even in a relationship and yet I miss him so much. The fact that he was pretty much my only friend who lived nearby just increases the sense of loneliness.
I'd love to just be able to shrug my shoulders and say "**** happens" and get on with life but it's much easier said than done (like most things in life, I guess!). I've tried mindfulness and CBT techniques before and they didn't seem to do that much for me, though it might be because I was too cynical and stubborn to let them. Right now, I just feel like typing stuff here is about as close to a positive step as I can take right now.0 -
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![[Deleted User]](/applications/dashboard/design/images/defaulticon.png)
we'd call that "going under cover" 
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