LETS ALL LAUGH AT PEOPLE WITH DEPRESSION!!

Roquentin

Call Me Jimmy wrote: »

Fair play on the self improvement, that is a minor miracle if you have a tendency to be low. The only thing I worry about when a woman is in your predicament is that consciously or unconsiously they may try to force it. In the end they may get their dream of children but if it is a case of seeing that end goal and trying to get there from a place like you are in now, there's the chance of missing out on warning signs re: who you end up with. Everything could be glossed over, then the children come along and it mightn't be what you thought. You and your partner might not be such a good match.

I don't like how that sounds but it's what I'd think generally. Though, if your attitude is more along the 'if it happens it happens' line of thinking, it's much more likely that if it DOES happen, there'll be a good foundation for a complete, loving family.

I just think it's healthier to prepare yourself mentally for the worst case. It will free you if you genuinely accept that you may not have kids, ironically making it more likely that you'll find someone who is right for you and then go on to have kids!

Just my opinion, I don't have any experience. But I have had to face the reality that not a single dream or desire of mine will be fulfilled. I'm not in a good place now, but if through some universal magic I come out the other side, I will be able to deal with anything because every expectation, notion about myself etc. has been threatened completely.

i agree. the last thing one wants to do is try and force their life. it wont end well

wbt

Call Me Jimmy wrote: »

Fair play on the self improvement, that is a minor miracle if you have a tendency to be low. The only thing I worry about when a woman is in your predicament is that consciously or unconsiously they may try to force it. In the end they may get their dream of children but if it is a case of seeing that end goal and trying to get there from a place like you are in now, there's the chance of missing out on warning signs re: who you end up with. Everything could be glossed over, then the children come along and it mightn't be what you thought. You and your partner might not be such a good match.

I don't like how that sounds but it's what I'd think generally. Though, if your attitude is more along the 'if it happens it happens' line of thinking, it's much more likely that if it DOES happen, there'll be a good foundation for a complete, loving family.

I just think it's healthier to prepare yourself mentally for the worst case. It will free you if you genuinely accept that you may not have kids, ironically making it more likely that you'll find someone who is right for you and then go on to have kids!

Just my opinion, I don't have any experience. But I have had to face the reality that not a single dream or desire of mine will be fulfilled. I'm not in a good place now, but if through some universal magic I come out the other side, I will be able to deal with anything because every expectation, notion about myself etc. has been threatened completely.

Good advice, thank you. I wish so much that I'd come out of the relationship at 26 instead of almost 29 and had a few years to discover 'me' and date around but it is what it is! To be honest I think part of the reason the relationship was so bad was because I put so much pressure on myself to 'achieve' things by deadlines - trying for kids by 29, starting to save for a house by 28, etc. Ironically it contributed to everything going wrong. I won't lie, I feel very bitter towards my ex who still has years and years to settle down and have kids, but there's nothing I can do about that.

I've managed to stop being so hard on myself anyway. I've managed to get myself into CBT, start medication, start exercising...things I'd never have managed a year ago. I like myself much more now...getting an actual diagnosis and some support helped immensely. Obviously there are still hard times but my 'baseline' mood is much better now. I think the CBT is working wonders for me and I highly recommend it to anyone who has yet to try it.

I am trying to focus on the positives of potentially never having kids (loads of time to myself, time and money to travel the world, fewer worries/responsibilities, more career possibilities...) To be honest, I don't envy the people I know who have kids now. It looks really monotonous and restrictive. I don't particularly want them *now* but also don't have the luxury of waiting 10 years for when I'm ready like men can. It's probably one of the only aspects of life left where age really does still matter. Anyway, sorry for going on about it!

Roquentin

wbt wrote: »

Good advice, thank you. I wish so much that I'd come out of the relationship at 26 instead of almost 29 and had a few years to discover 'me' and date around but it is what it is! To be honest I think part of the reason the relationship was so bad was because I put so much pressure on myself to 'achieve' things by deadlines - trying for kids by 29, starting to save for a house by 28, etc. Ironically it contributed to everything going wrong. I won't lie, I feel very bitter towards my ex who still has years and years to settle down and have kids, but there's nothing I can do about that.

I've managed to stop being so hard on myself anyway. I've managed to get myself into CBT, start medication, start exercising...things I'd never have managed a year ago. I like myself much more now...getting an actual diagnosis and some support helped immensely. Obviously there are still hard times but my 'baseline' mood is much better now. I think the CBT is working wonders for me and I highly recommend it to anyone who has yet to try it.

I am trying to focus on the positives of potentially never having kids (loads of time to myself, time and money to travel the world, fewer worries/responsibilities, more career possibilities...) To be honest, I don't envy the people I know who have kids now. It looks really monotonous and restrictive. I don't particularly want them *now* but also don't have the luxury of waiting 10 years for when I'm ready like men can. It's probably one of the only aspects of life left where age really does still matter. Anyway, sorry for going on about it!

i think this is the way to go about it. so many people have these bullet points of things they have to achieve in life, so much that they end up not living. happiness cannot be planned, it must ensue. its like robert m pirsig said, the only happiness one finds at the top of the mountain is the happiness they carry up there with them.

So many people look to the future and say when i have this and that i will be happy. It doesnt work like that. happiness must radiate from within. the journey is the destination.

wbt

I find the loneliness and isolation quite hard. When you're in a relationship, you've always got the other person there. If you fancy going to a restaurant or to see a play or on a weekend break, or just staying in with a movie, you've got someone to do that stuff with. I do try to get out and do stuff a lot, but I get very down sometimes on weekend nights like these when all my friends are with their SOs and I'm sitting at home on the internet.

Drumpot

Some tips for people who find their head racing and they cant snap out of a serious low. Sometimes simple things can help snap me out of it:

- Just for today I will try to live through this day only, and not tackle all my problems at once.
- Just for today I will be happy. This assumes to be true what Abraham Lincoln said, that “Most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be.”
- Just for today I will have a quiet half hour all by myself and relax. During this half hour, sometime, I will try to get a better perspective of my life.
- Just for today I will exercise my soul in three ways: I will do somebody a good turn, and not get found out; if anyone knows of it, it will not count. I will do at least two things I don’t want to do – just for exercise. I will not show anyone that my feelings are hurt; they may be hurt, but today I will not show it.

I recommend these tools to friends and family whom find them very helpful.

I find that I used to think that I was a special case of lonely, helpless, depressed sorry excuse for a human being. But what I discovered was that my perception of life and my reactions to events in my life were the biggest stumbling blocks to getting well. When I had a spiritual awakening (ready to see the truth about my life), I was able to stop taking anti depressants, sleeping tablets, zanex, alcohol - all of the things that used to numb the pain of life.

Its sad that so many people get stuck on the same roundabout I was on for decades. Thinking that medication ALONE should do the job. I found when I started to work hard (programme for living) and allow my beliefs to be challenged (without taking it personally and reverting to either denial or self criticism) did I start to make huge strides.

I want to say to anybody coming here for support that I believe you can have a better life. In my quest to get well I have met people who have gotten through hardship that I still cant imagine. Yet these inspirational people have a content life. It is possible, but its so hard because it involves a change from within that can be so difficult to tap into.

If you believe that you would be better if only your circumstances would change, you may not believe me but this could be one of the biggest roadblocks preventing you from getting liberated. The circumstances I speak of could be your family, friends, job, your looks etc. anything that you feel you need to change in your life to make you feel better. If your happiness is mainly dependent on things around you, then you are not in control of your life or your happiness. You are letting your happiness be controlled and you will always be disappointed because we cannot control the good/bad that happens outside of us.

If you think of it logically, if you can find a balance within, it wont matter what goes on around you. I couldn't of believed I could do this a couple of years ago. On reflection, it was my negative thinking, the bad lessons I learned growing up, that kept me stuck in the sh*t. I think of it like having the option to cut my hair with a scissors or by pulling my hair out with my hand. I was afraid I would cut myself with the scissors and didn't really want to learn how to use it so I kept pulling my hair out with my hands, with great pain. Every so often my hair would actually look ok and I would get momentary relief, but eventually as my hair would grow, I would end up getting to a stage where I was pulling it out again.

This was possibly not the best example, but the summary is that There is no pain in change, only in resisting change and self denial is a powerful mechanism that I personally feel is the sneakiest part of depression. I understand that in some cases people have low levels of chemicals that make depression and low moods more inevitable, but I don't accept that most of us can feel better and have more fulfilling lives with a change of thinking (spiritual awakening).

Heres a question people should ask themselves. Why do people get clarity and have specific regrets when on their deathbeds ? Why aren't any of those regrets "I wish I worried more about more things", "I wish I got that job that I really wanted", "I wish I had more money", "I wish my parents/family/friends didn't upset/anger me".

Its always regrets on things that the person themselves didn't do or put more effort into. Its not easy to learn something when your mind is telling you to "give up", or that "it wont work for me" or when your ego disagrees with an alternative that involves accepting that what you have been doing up to now is abnormal.

Mars Bar

A neighbour/friend of mine decided he needed to do something about helping people with mental health problems and he has developed an app that has just been released. It has been gaining some media attention and I have no doubt you'll hear about it eventually but between now and then, it could save one person.

His University did a nice summation of the app

TrustTalk24/7 is split into three sections – LetsTalk, WhySoSilent and MindMyMind24/7.

LetsTalk is aimed at people in suicide crisis and who need to speak to an Accredited Counsellor immediately.

By pressing a call button on the app, a person is directly connected free of charge to a Counsellor at any time of the day when they feel the need for it.

WhySoSilent asks the user questions if they are worried about themselves or someone else. The questions relate to suicide, depression and anxiety, and will relay the relevant information or call options to the user depending on their answers.

MindMyMind24/7 delivers daily inspirational messages to the user so they can relate these to their lives and motivate themselves or someone else.

https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.trustTalk24_7&hl=en

I hope it can be of some help to you

PTH2009

Decided to go cold turkey from rispiridone and im starting to feel the effects. I feel a bit depressed, im hot one min and freezing the next and im not sleeping very well. The plus side to it im not feeling as tired as I was when I was on it. I was orignally prescripted it in 2013 when I broke up with my girlfriend and thankfully I feel im over the paranoia. I put on a ton of weight since I started and that was a deciding factor in me giving up the drug.

Im a bit adutated and feel a bit nervous I will snap on someone.

To cut my weight I have decided not to eat in the night times ( except when im working I like to treat myself after work to food).

I feel a bit scared that im depressed

Any advice ??. I look forward to life without rispiridone

looksee

I don't know anything about rispiridone, I do know it is not a good idea to come off any of these kind of drugs 'cold turkey'. Whether you should come off them at all is something you should really be getting advice and help on. Just stopping isn't the best way of getting off the medication though, you really need to get some professional advice.

scrimshanker

Some people might find this useful:

http://www.irishtimes.com/life-and-style/health-family/offering-affordable-psychological-help-in-10-different-languages-1.2168545

...

In December 2008, it moved to its current headquarters at 1 Chelmsford Road in Ranelagh, Dublin 6, and developed a sliding scale of charges (€20 for unemployed; €30 for part-time workers; and €50 for full-time workers) for a 50-minute counselling session. The National Office for Suicide Prevention gave the organisation a grant to support its work with the Polish community in 2009.

Language capacity
Offering counselling in the mother tongue of clients has been a significant factor in the success of the organisation.

...


Clients can self-refer without the need for a letter from their GP. To access psychological support through the public health system, individuals must first consult with their GP and be referred on. Private counselling or psychotherapy sessions cost between €80 and €120 an hour.

A key aspect of the mental health support offered through MyMind is that clients can access counselling online as well as through face-to-face contact within 72 hours of their request for help.
“We offer online video consultations through Google Hangouts and Skype. Online chat is also available to clients as well as email-based questions and answers. Our core work is one-to-one therapy but the online space allows people to feel comfortable talking about their problems. People can also completely manage their appointments online, ask for specific therapists or cancel and reschedule appointments.”

candycock

I'm goin through a tough few days,I'm on anti depressants but there having no effect at all,I'm still in bed an don't intend to rise soon.yesterday I went off in my car an wanted to end things,I ended up pulling in an sleeping for four hours,I'm constantly tired and lazy,I don't no how my partner puts up with me,also I'm starting an internship tomoro an I'm dreading it because my motivation is at an all time low.

InitiumNovum

I'll be 24 in 10 days but I'm kind of depressed. I always get depressed around my birthday every year and it's hard to shake off. Like I should be happy at the moment, because good things are starting to come my way, for instance, I'm nearly finished my masters, but it's like I have this lump in my stomach that defies explanation. Methinks that it is the reminder that I'm getting older, it spurs me to think back and I have this habit at looking at the negatives in my past rather than the positives.

Cats for sale

InitiumNovum wrote: »

I'll be 24 in 10 days but I'm kind of depressed. I always get depressed around my birthday every year and it's hard to shake off. Like I should be happy at the moment, because good things are starting to come my way, for instance, I'm nearly finished my masters, but it's like I have this lump in my stomach that defies explanation. Methinks that it is the reminder that I'm getting older, it spurs me to think back and I have this habit at looking at the negatives in my past rather than the positives.

You'll be fine pal. Live in the moment and be proud of yourself.

Kimbot

InitiumNovum wrote: »

I'll be 24 in 10 days but I'm kind of depressed. I always get depressed around my birthday every year and it's hard to shake off. Like I should be happy at the moment, because good things are starting to come my way, for instance, I'm nearly finished my masters, but it's like I have this lump in my stomach that defies explanation. Methinks that it is the reminder that I'm getting older, it spurs me to think back and I have this habit at looking at the negatives in my past rather than the positives.

The best thing you can do is stop looking back and start looking forward my friend. Your the only person that can change your future so once you keep focused on looking forward you will be grand

fizzypish

This has probably popped up multiple times in this monster thread but anyone else effected by the season. I've spent the last 4-5 months in a pretty depressed mess. At the best of times I felt **** and counseling wasn't helping. Next thing I know, last week the sun comes out and my mood is 100 times better. Gonna kick the drink. I don't believe I have a problem (said every alc ever) but the come down from a night out, never mind the hangover, I find a tad crippling. Gonna try to fix this **** over the summer! Gonna get a Vit D enema if I have to in preparation for next winter/autumn.

Roquentin

fizzypish wrote: »

This has probably popped up multiple times in this monster thread but anyone else effected by the season. I've spent the last 4-5 months in a pretty depressed mess. At the best of times I felt **** and counseling wasn't helping. Next thing I know, last week the sun comes out and my mood is 100 times better. Gonna kick the drink. I don't believe I have a problem (said every alc ever) but the come down from a night out, never mind the hangover, I find a tad crippling. Gonna try to fix this **** over the summer! Gonna get a Vit D enema if I have to in preparation for next winter/autumn.

seasonal affective disorder maybe

mickstupp

You ever have one of those moments where you're doing perfectly well, you're functional, you're ok... and then some random thought walks up and kicks you in the face? Not even a big thought. Just a little one. A tiny little thing. And you're suddenly shell-shocked for no good reason you can think of. And you start wondering if that's the moment when you'll start slipping back down. Start wondering if maybe on some really deeply buried level, you just don't want to get better? Despite all the effort you put into every waking minute, trying to lead a relatively functional life. And it all just blurs a bit.

DeVore

Yep, it can happen but they called something like Negative Unbidden Thoughts ... actually that anagram isn't very considerate so it might not be that LOL!

But yeah, I definitely can empathise, but its a clear moment to exercise CBT and mental discipline and shut down that train of thought. It clearly isn't true so you should NOT give it the time of day. It sounds very like the Old Enemy trying to drag you back down because you are escaping him.

ShazGV

I've been looking at local counsellors online the past few days, trying to talk myself into maybe, hopefully, one day making an appointment. I just have absolutely no idea where to start. I have no idea who's any good. Presumably anyone on a site like IACP or counsellingdirectory.ie are good but how do I choose! Part of me wants to go to my GP so they can refer me to someone, a friend did that a couple of years ago for grief counselling. I'm definitely not brave enough for that yet though.

DareGod

Any other hypochondriacs out there? It's been taking over my life for the past two months.

NoAlarms

I posted here a while back, was being retrospective and actually got a great response.Regrets are something, but now I'm in the throws again. It's normal for me to not interact, go out and I have severe panic attacks so I rarely go out now, social anxiety is what the doc is calling it. Twenty year cycle, I've done this before..here we go again.I'm so tired of it.I haven't socialised in 4 years, I stay at home and obsess about how horrendous I look, inside and out, and how I messed up my life,obsessions over and over..

I'm not sure if this is the right place to ask but my Mum and partner are looking from the outside and recommend Pieta House.I have an appointment next week but feel very fraudulent because I'm not going to commit suicide..I've been there before, and after hospital I was ok, but not now.Its normal for me to wake up crying cos I hope every night will take me.I suppose I just accept that my life is kinda done now..I do what I need to, panic and then home..maybe there's a bit of me fighting cos I'm writing this

I'm aware I'm being vague but this is really new to me,and I'm still a bit private.I don't want to take their time when I'm not really qualifying.A bit lost otherwise, I gave up on the public mental health service,too long. Its lovely to see what a community ye have,please don't mock this post, I know its in After Hours, but I like the thread, and I'm a bit paranoid about posting. There's lots more I want to say but won't, Thanks

Had what was probably an anxiety or panic attack earlier. Probably not the latter because I've had severe panic attacks before and actually thought I was going to die or something. It wasn't as bad as that but my heart was racing and I was very tense. Managed to calm myself down a few hours ago.

The thing is, when I get anxiety or panic attacks, I never seem to realise what it was until it has passed. Does that happen to others?

DeVore

NoAlarms wrote: »

I posted here a while back, was being retrospective and actually got a great response.Regrets are something, but now I'm in the throws again. It's normal for me to not interact, go out and I have severe panic attacks so I rarely go out now, social anxiety is what the doc is calling it. Twenty year cycle, I've done this before..here we go again.I'm so tired of it.I haven't socialised in 4 years, I stay at home and obsess about how horrendous I look, inside and out, and how I messed up my life,obsessions over and over..

I'm not sure if this is the right place to ask but my Mum and partner are looking from the outside and recommend Pieta House.I have an appointment next week but feel very fraudulent because I'm not going to commit suicide..I've been there before, and after hospital I was ok, but not now.Its normal for me to wake up crying cos I hope every night will take me.I suppose I just accept that my life is kinda done now..I do what I need to, panic and then home..maybe there's a bit of me fighting cos I'm writing this

I'm aware I'm being vague but this is really new to me,and I'm still a bit private.I don't want to take their time when I'm not really qualifying.A bit lost otherwise, I gave up on the public mental health service,too long. Its lovely to see what a community ye have,please don't mock this post, I know its in After Hours, but I like the thread, and I'm a bit paranoid about posting. There's lots more I want to say but won't, Thanks

One of the biggest problems with mental health is this false idea that we are somehow not worth the time of other people or that we are a burden to them. I know the Pieta House folks through the SSF and they are soooo wonderful and understanding. You aren't wasting their time, if they aren't the place for you they'll guide you to where is I would say. You're worth a half hour of anyones time.

Kimbot

Hi guys, im not sure if you are aware of this but May is mental health awareness month - www.greenribbon.ie

So pick up a green ribbon and show your support.

Lollipops23

Having a really bad run of panic attacks the last few days, after a few months of it being under control.

I've noticed that when something wakes me during the night (a housemate coming in, or a text etc) it often triggers a panic attack. Proper galloping heart rate, muscle spasms, the works. No idea why, but it's something that's happened a lot over the last year.

JupiterKid

I'm frankly in a total mess. I'm riddled with severe anxiety and my mood is low. I recently moved into an apartment and Im not really going out except to buy drink. I have a bad alcohol problem and I anethitise the anxiety with the booze but I think it really just makes it worse. I don't work, I don't go out - I just sit in my flat and worry all day long.

I need help!

DareGod

I was on Lexapro for 6 years. I tapered myself off it (using a stupid method) over the course of a year last year. A few weeks after I stopped taking it, symptoms of both withdrawal and anxiety came back. I've been like this for three months now. I went back on Lexapro last week. A couple of my fingers have lost some sensation. My mouth and tongue feel numb. My throat/adams apple area/neck feel a bit numb, but that started a couple of weeks before I went back on the lexapro. I have tingling and pins and needles in my legs and toes. I am gasping for air regularly. I lie in bed thinking to myself "I cannot believe this is where my life has come to." I grieve so hard for the old me. How the hell did I end up here again? Although, I know the answer to that. I was a series of bad choices. I'm so grateful I don't have any physical disease, yet the hypochondriac in me is often convinced otherwise. I'm a ball of fear and despair the past few months.

Hope you are all doing well today.

DareGod

JupiterKid wrote: »

I'm frankly in a total mess. I'm riddled with severe anxiety and my mood is low. I recently moved into an apartment and Im not really going out except to buy drink. I have a bad alcohol problem and I anethitise the anxiety with the booze but I think it really just makes it worse. I don't work, I don't go out - I just sit in my flat and worry all day long.

I need help!

I feel your pain, in that regard. You're not alone!

DareGod

Lollipops23 wrote: »

Having a really bad run of panic attacks the last few days, after a few months of it being under control.

I've noticed that when something wakes me during the night (a housemate coming in, or a text etc) it often triggers a panic attack. Proper galloping heart rate, muscle spasms, the works. No idea why, but it's something that's happened a lot over the last year.

Same here! My anxiety was under control for a few years, and then the past few weeks I'm having panic attacks again.

Have you started or stopped taking any medication over the past year? Have you changed your diet or exercise regime? Did you have any personal problems the past year? Just a few things that could be causing it that come to mind.

DeVore

JupiterKid wrote: »

I'm frankly in a total mess. I'm riddled with severe anxiety and my mood is low. I recently moved into an apartment and Im not really going out except to buy drink. I have a bad alcohol problem and I anethitise the anxiety with the booze but I think it really just makes it worse. I don't work, I don't go out - I just sit in my flat and worry all day long.

I need help!

Its good you say you need help. That's the most important thing, recognising that we cant just beat this on our own.

I don't know you or your circumstances so I can only give you the benefit of my experience. I found (and find) alcohol to be TERRIBLE for anxiety and depression. It might blot out the world for a while, but you pay for it ten-fold later. You really really need to commit to fixing the alcohol problem you acknowledge you have.... sorry but in my experience nothing is going to get better until you stop making it worse.

The good news is that I've been where you are and maybe worse, I dunno (its not a competition thankfully! ).... but its DEFINITELY recoverable. Three years ago I was where you are and it took a really pretty awful 6 months to turn everything around, but its do-able. And its TOTALLY worth it...

Without booze you will have money to go out and do things.... along with the will to do it. If you need something to control anxiety, go to a doctors and get something pharmaceutical to do it, self-medicating is a BAD WAY.

Once you have booze and anxiety under control, things take an upward spiral. Life starts to look like its worth living and you look forward to every day rather than loathing it.

Or you can continue to sit in your flat and drink yourself into an early death and I'm sorry that that sounds harsh but its a harsh truth. You either choose to do something, now, about it (and its pretty straightforward, maybe not easy but straightforward).... or you CHOOSE to continue as you are going and we both know that that's not going anywhere good.

If you want support, we're here. Either on this thread or by PM. Please please choose to get better but don't pretend you aren't making a choice either way.

The next step is going to a doctor and getting something for the anxiety, and also asking about options regarding alcohol abuse.
Go tomorrow... theres nothing stopping you. Let us know how it goes if you like, we're rooting for you.

JupiterKid

Thanks you so much for your advice DeVore. I am actively taking steps to get the help I need. Continuing on like this simply Isn't an option.