LETS ALL LAUGH AT PEOPLE WITH DEPRESSION!!

DeVore

Yeah, it sounds heartless but you really need to protect yourself if its affecting you. You are responsible for your own mental health as a priority.

On a bigger point, some people get great relief from "sharing" and others don't, in fact they can get worse. I think everyone benefits from that first burst when you find someone to confide in and its like a boil has just been lanced... but after that I've found that I need to walk a fine line between supressing my emotions and what I termed "wallowing". To much of either and I suffer for it.

La.de.da

I'm really struggling of late. Feel very empty yet a gripping hurt in my chest as though a cement block is pressing in on me.

Gleeso_Finglas

Looking forward to getting to bed soon. Bloody head feels like it's going to burst. Tomorrow has to be a better day.

Gleeso_Finglas

La.de.da wrote: »

I'm really struggling of late. Feel very empty yet a gripping hurt in my chest as though a cement block is pressing in on me.

Anxiety?

Drumpot

Gleeso_Finglas wrote: »

i feel your pain but you are doing it without meds. I dont know how you do it!!.

I don't find it easy, by any stretch. I suppose I don't recall getting much relief from tablets, if anything I felt that they made life dull and meaningless because I felt nothing.

For so long I struggled to feel connected to my family and now that I have it, I don't want to lose it! Even if it is extremely painful!

I try (not always with success), to read peoples posts and see them as people at different stages to me. Some closer then others. I try not to beat myself up if somebody is doing better then me and I try to help in my own way, by sharing some of my stories/experiences which doesn't always help!

What I find is that there are people who are way ahead of me in some things and I am doing better at them at others. But my instinct is to focus on what I am not doing well instead of enjoying/celebrating what I am succeeding at.

Today I was still able to do some of the good things on autopilot like play with my children, give them a cuddle in bed, but like many here its my partner that feels my pain the most. I cant hide it from her and as somebody else shared, I really drag her down and drain her. If I talk to her about how I feel it just depresses her, if I don't talk to her about how I feel she asks because she wants to help!

Drumpot

Gleeso_Finglas wrote: »

Looking forward to getting to bed soon. Bloody head feels like it's going to burst. Tomorrow has to be a better day.

Yeh, I am knackered and am actually looking forward to getting into bed. Already have my hot water bottle in it and a book beside the bed to read (I never read! ha!). Could I do anymore to sound like an old fart? Well I am typing this in my pajamas, wearing a robe and my expensive slippers that I imported from England!

I actually bought the slippers from a shop for people with feet problems for extra comfort. I didn't realize they also sold slippers for amputees and accidentally bought one slipper. I had to ship it back, it took ages! But when I got the correct two in the post I was so happy. I find the little things in life can be the most satisfying!

Ive been having very vivid dreams of late, not always bad mind you, but I could do with a few dreamless nights!

La.de.da

Gleeso_Finglas wrote: »

Anxiety?

Yep. Low mood. Don't want to leave the house. Devoid of any energy.
All consuming loneliness.
Fighting the 'what's the point thoughts'

DeVore

One of the things that I find helps me "do something" is to do something for someone else. Its a lot easier for me to do something for someone else than it is to do something for myself. I'll take my dog for a walk because I know he loves it, when there is no way in hell I would go for a walk myself even though I need it.

Try doing something for someone else. Maybe surprise yer ma or wife with a box of chocolates or flowers. It doesn't have to be much, (I'm sure they deserve it for lots of reasons and none at all!). It will endlessly brighten their day and probably yours too. I find it does. It gets my thoughts away from me and out of my head for a little while anyway.

La.de.da

That's true devore. I love giving gifts making other people happy seeing them smile.

Hugo Stiglitz

Lollipops23 wrote: »

Has anyone else found that sometimes being constantly exposed to others who suffer with anxiety and depression (and talk fairly constantly about it) actually exacerbates yours?

I work with someone who suffers badly, but talks every day about it. Every little thing seems to centre on it for her and we're all expected to pander to her whims.

I try my best to be supportive and lend and ear, but it's really and truly beginning to wear me down. I suffer myself- and I have tried so many times to help her by sharing my experiences and just listening when she's needed to unload.

The problem is that this unloading is now overwhelming for me. I find myself having far more anxiety now than I did 6 months ago, and I'm certain that all this negativity can't be helping. I don't want to be a total b*tch, but I'm at the end of my tether.

I kinda am that person.

I fear I'm rather toxic. I'm really trying not to be anymore though.

Gleeso_Finglas

brain feels like its on a frying pan and the same time my thoughts and anxiety are constantly attacking me. really hope this passes soon and i can actually have a nice christmas. my wife and stepson derserve it and so do i.................... so fcuking frustrating

Gleeso_Finglas

folks i need advice on something is anyone up for a chat to try help me out?

DeVore

I'm on and off... PM me!

Gleeso_Finglas

decided i am going to try the max dosage of my anti dep....wish me luck!!

I have to because i feel myself slowly getting worse and my mind is just not strong enough to fight. I miss my wife and stepson i need to get back to them all of these thoughts and feelings are really destroying my life. I have got to try anything possible including the risks of upping the meds in order to beat this episode.

Talk soon folks.

DeVore

We're here for you!
If I were you, I'd tell your wife the same as you just said. "I'm going to fight this because I want you and our son in my life". That's properly brave, right there. Colour me impressed.

Gleeso_Finglas

Folks can anyone recommend A CBT specialist in north dublin. I am looking to start one on one. Many Thanks in advance

JupiterKid

My mood is a bit flat. Looking forward to Christmas but not as much as in previous years. I really just want a peaceful, quiet Christmas which I'll be spending with a very close friend. My anxiety levels are under control which is a very good think as I can get overwhelmed by anxiety at times.

To all those struggling with low mood/anxiety I wish you well and remember - one day, one hour, one minute even - at a time.

Gleeso_Finglas

update................ 7 days now into upped meds to 375mg venafaxline from 300mg and 600mg of pregablin from 400mg. feeling no better and feel lost.the increase usually woks by now and i get happy thoughts and start to climb out but no it doesnt seem to be happening. have an appointment for cbt/mindfulness therapist on the 7th of jan (earliest he can do). rang my local clinic to see when i can get an appointment.

my wife is at the end of her tether with me and says the meds are working i am just not allowing myself to try be positive an easier on myself. its hard to hear because even though i am getting little things done that i didnt do a few weeks i have no happiness in my head and i am riddled with anxiety. i feel guilty, sick, afraid and worried and on top of all that my mood just wont shift i can actually feel it my mind is stuck as if it has run out of petrol and does not want to work. i have let my wife down all she wants is a bit of normality and for my mood to pick up. im not allowed to text her unless its positive. we mostly sit in silence now and it really effects me as all i want is my feelings to return and to actually laugh with her and be close with her and my stepson.

apologies for this terrible language but i have a fcuking pain in my bullox with this!!!!

anyone here ever been on this increased medication and any advice?

im like this since the 16th of november.

i feel like peter parker when he puts on the venom suit except i cannot break free.

DeVore

i have a fcuking pain in my bollox with this!!!!

Good. Because you are going to need that anger to turn into determination, right now.

I'm going to break my usual principle of not advising others and suggest something practical and its the very same thing that your counsellor will tell you too:

Every time you think of something negative, something away from what you are doing, something about the past or the future or any daydream etc. ANYTIME you start to think about something like that, you have to brutally clamp down on it. Lets say you are fixing a shelf and your thought process, if its anything like mine, goes:
"where can I find the right screw for this shelf.... is it in this box or the other... I'll just search the bottom of this box...ffs I cant find the right screw... oh**** this is going to be a disaster..... you don't even know what screw is right for this, sure you're ****e at DIY.... whats the point of putting this shelf up, you're going to make an unholy **** out of it... whats the point of anything, you **** everything up... " etc etc I'm guessing you probably know this tune.

So this is where your pain in your bollox comes into it. You need to get bloodyminded about this. See that moment when I thought "this is going to be a disaster". I now *ruthlessly* shut down that line of thinking. Immediately. No argument, no questions, its done, over. Moving on.
Right now that probably seems like you would be shutting down every stream of consciousness within seconds and that might be true. If it is, so be it. Is that hard? Yes, its bloody hard but you have a pain in your bollox with this and you can either live with it and inflict it on your wife and son or you can fight for your life back, one thought at a time. Use the pain in your bollox to wrestle your own mind back under your control. I'm sorry I don't have something easier to suggest. We both know this will pass, it has before so this isn't a hopeless fight, you just have to fight a little longer. The cavalry are coming, you just cant hear their hooves right now.

The single most important thing I EVER learned was that I am not my thoughts. I am my thinking *around* my thoughts.

La.de.da

Hi everyone. Just a quick message to those (like myself) that find this time of year tough.
Be kind to yourselves. It's absolutely ok to decline invites for parties gatherings etc. It is your choice.
Do what you want....
Be it gaming, watching TV box sets... whatever keeps you grounded.
You're not alone.

Gleeso_Finglas

This time of year is poxy for me. havent had an episode free xmas in 3 years la de la. its so hard to find anything you like doing that keeps you grounded when you are in a bad place. bloody nightmare !!

DeVore

My mum (and to an extent myself) are the same, come November, like clockwork, she'll get completely uncharacteristically grumpy and teary. I have been feeling very flat myself for the last few weeks. Poor sleep, bad routines.
I'm taking the Xmas off... going to indulge a bit and then come New Year, right back on that horse.

Gleeso_Finglas

I love your positivity you seem to have a somewhat decent handle on it

DeVore

"A lot of my good choices come from experience... much of that comes from bad choices".

I have a decent handle on it until it comes to me following my own advice when I'm going through a patch... then its tough

I have learned to trust to it though and just "shut up and get stupid" about it. Every time I navigate a bad patch, it seems to get a bit easier or at least more familiar. Its an upward trend rather than a hard-and-fast rule but it seems to get a bit more understandable or at least I have a bit more certainty that its just a phase and will pass.

Find what works for you. I get my head down and don't think about the past, the future or the negative. Stay busy. Get up, Get out, Get on.
(Get up out of that bed/chair..... get out of the house, get on to my mates).

mickstupp

It's really difficult to reach out at the moment, knowing that people are having family time, enjoying the break. It puts me off bringing my crap into their lives.

Diamond Doll

I rang The Samaritans earlier, not to talk, but to thank them. I've called them numerous times recently and it always helps so much, and I just wanted to say to the lovely man who answered the phone that I am so grateful for all the great work they do, and especially that he was giving up his Christmas morning to be there. Now I did keep the call as brief as I possibly could, conscious that I could be holding the line up for others who genuinely needed to talk, but I asked him to pass my gratitude on to whoever else was working with him. And he seemed really very appreciative to me for calling, very genuinely so. So it was a nice happy buzzy feeling.

If I ever get better, and mentally strong enough, I'd love to be able to volunteer for something like that. I've a close friend who did it years ago, in fact I had to write a character reference for her (I wasn't a basketcase back then!) She told me a lot about it, it sounds very tough but very rewarding. I'd be lost without them to be honest. If there are any Samaritan volunteers reading this ... thank you!

whatismyname

Lovely post Diamond Doll. So glad the Samaritans have been such a support for you.

Gleeso_Finglas

Diamond Doll that was an excellent post and i hope you are doing better today. dont forget i am also here to talk at anytime. your far from alone. samaritans,aware,pieta house do unbelievable work and get little thanks. A couple of years back i contacted the aware helpline on numerous occasions and they were very supportive and it felt good to speak with someone who knew what i was going through.

I hope everyone is having a good christmas and if you need to talk im here just chilling watching the match.

Stay strong

La.de.da

I feels a wee bit more sad and flat than the usual. Maybe it's cause I haven't seen or spoken to a soul since Christmas day.
I think I am invisible to people. Trying not to let the thoughts become feelings but that old mr negative paranoia is taking over.

Jesus Wept

^hi there