LETS ALL LAUGH AT PEOPLE WITH DEPRESSION!!

cometogether

Does anyone else ever want to just disappear for a little bit? I can't sleep, I've to get up for work in less than six hours, on what was meant to be a day off, for the first of six twelve hour shifts in a row. I'm just so tired already and I don't know if I can manage it. I'm seriously contemplating packing my bags and heading to the airport and jumping on the first flight out of here.

GFT

cometogether wrote: »

Does anyone else ever want to just disappear for a little bit? I can't sleep, I've to get up for work in less than six hours, on what was meant to be a day off, for the first of six twelve hour shifts in a row. I'm just so tired already and I don't know if I can manage it. I'm seriously contemplating packing my bags and heading to the airport and jumping on the first flight out of here.

Go to the doctor, get a cert and take the day off.

bridgettedon

cometogether wrote: »

Does anyone else ever want to just disappear for a little bit? I can't sleep, I've to get up for work in less than six hours, on what was meant to be a day off, for the first of six twelve hour shifts in a row. I'm just so tired already and I don't know if I can manage it. I'm seriously contemplating packing my bags and heading to the airport and jumping on the first flight out of here.

If I had 6 12 hour shifts in front of me I'd be feeling the same way.

Beginning to feel isolated at the moment. I neither have a car nor places to go and everywhere is flooded even if I did.

cometogether

GFT wrote: »

Go to the doctor, get a cert and take the day off.

Would like to but can't, I work with vulnerable people who would then be impacted if I didn't work and there was no cover

GFT

cometogether wrote: »

Would like to but can't, I work with vulnerable people who would then be impacted if I didn't work and there was no cover

Stop thinking of others just for tomorrow and spend the day looking after yourself. I'm sure they can't be that impacted by one day.

cometogether

GFT wrote: »

Stop thinking of others just for tomorrow and spend the day looking after yourself. I'm sure they can't be that impacted by one day.

I'd love to I really would

GFT

cometogether wrote: »

I'd love to I really would

https://media.giphy.com/media/wi8Ez1mwRcKGI/giphy.gif

mickstupp

If anyone could help me, that would be great. I need advice on dealing with intrusive thoughts that spiral out of control, possess you for days, rumination. It's destroying friendships and making me feel much worse than is safe. Because the thoughts I'm having are clearly negatively tinged by my mood. And I must be misinterpreting things, because it can't be the case that all of my friends have suddenly decided to stop giving a sh**. But my brain and my heart are not communicating properly, so thinking something (relatively) rationally isn't translating into feeling/believing that thing. I have not felt this bad in eight years.

whatismyname

mickstupp wrote: »

If anyone could help me, that would be great. I need advice on dealing with intrusive thoughts that spiral out of control, possess you for days, rumination. It's destroying friendships and making me feel much worse than is safe. Because the thoughts I'm having are clearly negatively tinged by my mood. And I must be misinterpreting things, because it can't be the case that all of my friends have suddenly decided to stop giving a sh**. But my brain and my heart are not communicating properly, so thinking something (relatively) rationally isn't translating into feeling/believing that thing. I have not felt this bad in eight years.

That sounds really hard to deal with, and I'm sorry things are so tough right now.

I think it's good that you are able to rationalise it to a degree and know that it can't be the case that all of your friends have suddenly stopped giving a ****. If only it was as easy as that though, right?

One website I really like is www.get.gg. They have some good downloads at http://get.gg/freedownloads.htm

Regarding intrusive thoughts / negative thinking / misinterpreting things, one that springs out that may be helpful is this 'Unhelpful thinking habits with alternatives'.

It looks at various unhelpful thinking habits 'mind-reading, catastrophising' etc, and ways that we may be able to challenge it.

Because it's just a one page covering lots of different unhelpful thinking habits, it doesn't go into a lot of detail on alternatives, but gives a good starting point. There are more along the same lines, in maybe more detail, on the original link.

And this lays out the 'Alternative thoughts' better without going into explanation of what the unhelpful thinking habits are.

I hope that some of this might help. I know that this stuff can help to a degree but can be really hard to do, and the intrusive thoughts processing and ruminating for days can be a real issue for me, particularly with some stuff I've faced in recent months. At times, I know that I need to try hard to keep busy, take my mind off it, etc... even then, it's impossible sometimes, but I figure I can only try.

Take care, and hope things improve a little soon.

mickstupp

@whatismyname - thank you for that site, and I appreciate the kind words! I'll read through that site, always worth trying different approaches to find what works. Anything that works is good in my view. Thanks again.

whatismyname

mickstupp wrote: »

@whatismyname - thank you for that site, and I appreciate the kind words! I'll read through that site, always worth trying different approaches to find what works. Anything that works is good in my view. Thanks again.

No worries Mickstupp. It's a good site with lots of useful resources, and I agree that it's always worth trying different approaches, and for me, sometimes trying something new, even if it's not quite the exact thing I need, can help make me feel better by helping me feel like I'm taking control.

mickstupp

whatismyname wrote: »

No worries Mickstupp. It's a good site with lots of useful resources, and I agree that it's always worth trying different approaches, and for me, sometimes trying something new, even if it's not quite the exact thing I need, can help make me feel better by helping me feel like I'm taking control.

Really good point. Especially when you feel like you're losing control.

whatismyname

mickstupp wrote: »

Really good point. Especially when you feel like you're losing control.

Also, apologies if I'm overstepping the mark, but in your OP you mentioned ' making me feel much worse than is safe. '.

That could mean a lot of things, but if it relates to suicidal thoughts, the site also has a good Safety Plan: http://get.gg/docs/SafetyPlan.pdf

Just thought I'd mention in case it could be helpful, and of course it need not be that template you use it could maybe just give some idea if you were to do out a safety plan. Similar plans are also sometimes used for self harm etc.

whatismyname

Genuinely struggling with mood today. Barely moved from bed. No motivation for anything. Everything feels so sh1te.

First appointment with psychiatrist on tuesday since discharge from hospital almost a month ago, and there's been a lot of drama behind me and mental health services (best not go there), and I'm overthinking the appointment so much, and I hate it.

Feeling so lonely and low and needy. But tomorrow morning I am meeting friends in the morning, so I have both a reason to get out of bed, and interactions with other people, so hoping tomorrow will be a little better.

It's just all feeling so sh1te today, and just wanted to get this out somewhere.

mickstupp

@whatismyname - today you helped me. Even with no motivation, feeling awful, you still helped another person feel better. You made a small difference to someone's life. That's nothing but positive, and I am terribly grateful for it. I hope you sleep well, and enjoy your time with friends tomorrow. Make sure you get a bunch of hugs from them. Hugs help.

bridgettedon

whatismyname wrote: »

Genuinely struggling with mood today. Barely moved from bed. No motivation for anything. Everything feels so sh1te.

First appointment with psychiatrist on tuesday since discharge from hospital almost a month ago, and there's been a lot of drama behind me and mental health services (best not go there), and I'm overthinking the appointment so much, and I hate it.

Feeling so lonely and low and needy. But tomorrow morning I am meeting friends in the morning, so I have both a reason to get out of bed, and interactions with other people, so hoping tomorrow will be a little better.

It's just all feeling so sh1te today, and just wanted to get this out somewhere.

Having a reason to get out of bed and the house makes such a difference. I hope you enjoy meeting your friends.

You are not the first to have issues with your psych team. You could write down what aspects you want to discuss in the appointment so you get your point across. And if possible try not to think about it too much between now and Tuesday.

whatismyname

bridgettedon wrote: »

Having a reason to get out of bed and the house makes such a difference. I hope you enjoy meeting your friends.

You are not the first to have issues with your psych team. You could write down what aspects you want to discuss in the appointment so you get your point across. And if possible try not to think about it too much between now and Tuesday.

Thanks Bridgettedon.

Unfortunately I seem to be long past the point of writing down what I want to discuss. I've been there, done that, wanting to be honest about stuff, work in partnership with them etc. All that happened was they saw me as complainatory and difficult, and my issues got much worse as a result of how they then responded.

The more I tried to have any say the more they seemed to shut me down, and I don't think I can keep trying to do that, at least not for now. Just gotta focus on getting in there, getting through it, trying not to be negative or anything that can be perceieved as 'complainatory', get out, and not be triggered to the point of craziness, stay safe, make it through the day, and then move on with my life Wednesday.

It's more just a tick-box requirement than anything else. It shouldn't be like that but it is.

Hugo Stiglitz

whatismyname wrote: »

Unfortunately I seem to be long past the point of writing down what I want to discuss. I've been there, done that, wanting to be honest about stuff, work in partnership with them etc. All that happened was they saw me as complainatory and difficult, and my issues got much worse as a result of how they then responded.

The more I tried to have any say the more they seemed to shut me down, and I don't think I can keep trying to do that, at least not for now. Just gotta focus on getting in there, getting through it, trying not to be negative or anything that can be perceieved as 'complainatory', get out, and not be triggered to the point of craziness, stay safe, make it through the day, and then move on with my life Wednesday.

It's more just a tick-box requirement than anything else. It shouldn't be like that but it is.

Jesus, I could have written that post myself. I was actually writing stuff down about an hour ago here for my next psych appointment. It's a bad state of affairs when one has to prepare notes in order to pre-empt being shotdown. I'm seriously lacking faith in them at this stage. Myself too though.

whatismyname

mickstupp wrote: »

@whatismyname - today you helped me. Even with no motivation, feeling awful, you still helped another person feel better. You made a small difference to someone's life. That's nothing but positive, and I am terribly grateful for it. I hope you sleep well, and enjoy your time with friends tomorrow. Make sure you get a bunch of hugs from them. Hugs help.

Hey Mick,

Thank you. I don't feel like I did a lot, but I'm glad it helped. Thank you for taking the time to tell me that - It's good to have something like that to cling on to a little and know that I'm not a completely bad person.

Hugs are definitely good. They're mostly not friends I know well, as it's an event for a meetup group I run, but we're going for ice-skating lessons, so should be a laugh too

whatismyname

Hugo Stiglitz wrote: »

Jesus, I could have written that post myself. I was actually writing stuff down about an hour ago here for my next psych appointment. It's a bad state of affairs when one has to prepare notes in order to pre-empt being shotdown. I'm seriously lacking faith in them at this stage. Myself too though.

Hugo, you honestly wouldn't believe the sh1t I've had with them in the past year.

In hospital the first time I saw psych, a nurse encouraged me to right out the stuff I wanted to say. So I did. Basic stuff on what needed to be heard, what would help etc.

He read it and immediately started doing the opposite. And as soon as I started getting even a little distressed by this, he told the nurse to remove me from the meeting and the team of people continued the meeting without me.

There's been so much that just sounds crazy. The more I tried to work with them and express my needs, it seems the more they saw me as difficult, the more unwell I got, and because I got very unwell, and my issues were getting triggered in a very bad way, they removed the little support I had.

I'm wary now of saying too much, as it's all very, very painful, but it goes round my head constantly regardless.

When I was discharged from hospital and I was told my next appt with psych first week in January, I was focusing on 'that's near a month away, it's in the New Year I can put it to one side till then', but now it's the New Year it's hard to, but I need to focus so hard on pulling on all the hard work I've done in the past month to keep myself safe, and use that for this meeting, and make plans for afterwards to give myself a focus. I know that I can do this, but I also know that it's going to be harder than psychiatrist or anyone in their team could even imagine.

*shuts up now*

Oh and ps Hugo you said 'I'm seriously lacking faith in them at this stage. Myself too though.'

.... I can't blame you for lacking faith in them, but wanted you to know that I have a lot of faith in YOU. You have come so, so far, and I think you are great. This is really so hard sometimes but I believe in you.

bridgettedon

whatismyname wrote: »

Thanks Bridgettedon.

Unfortunately I seem to be long past the point of writing down what I want to discuss. I've been there, done that, wanting to be honest about stuff, work in partnership with them etc. All that happened was they saw me as complainatory and difficult, and my issues got much worse as a result of how they then responded.

The more I tried to have any say the more they seemed to shut me down, and I don't think I can keep trying to do that, at least not for now. Just gotta focus on getting in there, getting through it, trying not to be negative or anything that can be perceieved as 'complainatory', get out, and not be triggered to the point of craziness, stay safe, make it through the day, and then move on with my life Wednesday.

It's more just a tick-box requirement than anything else. It shouldn't be like that but it is.

I can see how they can be less than helpful if they see you as 'difficult'. I do therapy and it seems you have to be positive and say how much if has helped you. And on top of that sometimes they don't look at things from our perspective. For instance I do group therapy, they increased the number of therapists and people attending the therapy with very little warning. The therapists mentioned how it's much better having a bigger group. It was actually the opposite for me. I hated that they changed the dynamic of the therapy and I found myself very isolated and unable to talk in the therapy. This had negative consequences as a result. Let's just say I will have a lot to say when I review this therapy.

I have been triggered by another mental health professional as well, to the point I won't be returning to her. It's horrible when the people who are meant to help you make the situation worse.

Is there anyone that you trust and can confide in about this?

whatismyname

Hey Bridgettedon

Sorry things have been so rough for you too.

I just wanted to say also that there's lots I could respond but I'm wary of posting too much here and getting too embroiled in it. I'm thinking trying to manage the feelings that the appointment brings, but without letting it overwhelm me, and I think if I start posting too much, it might start to get overwhelming, but on the other hand I might come back to it when I'm more sure if it's the right thing.

Thanks though

Hugo Stiglitz

whatismyname wrote: »

Hugo, you honestly wouldn't believe the sh1t I've had with them in the past year.

In hospital the first time I saw psych, a nurse encouraged me to right out the stuff I wanted to say. So I did. Basic stuff on what needed to be heard, what would help etc.

He read it and immediately started doing the opposite. And as soon as I started getting even a little distressed by this, he told the nurse to remove me from the meeting and the team of people continued the meeting without me.

There's been so much that just sounds crazy. The more I tried to work with them and express my needs, it seems the more they saw me as difficult, the more unwell I got, and because I got very unwell, and my issues were getting triggered in a very bad way, they removed the little support I had.

Jesus Christ. :eek::(

Ken.

whatismyname wrote: »

Hugo, you honestly wouldn't believe the sh1t I've had with them in the past year.

In hospital the first time I saw psych, a nurse encouraged me to right out the stuff I wanted to say. So I did. Basic stuff on what needed to be heard, what would help etc.

He read it and immediately started doing the opposite. And as soon as I started getting even a little distressed by this, he told the nurse to remove me from the meeting and the team of people continued the meeting without me.

There's been so much that just sounds crazy. The more I tried to work with them and express my needs, it seems the more they saw me as difficult, the more unwell I got, and because I got very unwell, and my issues were getting triggered in a very bad way, they removed the little support I had.

I'm wary now of saying too much, as it's all very, very painful, but it goes round my head constantly regardless.

When I was discharged from hospital and I was told my next appt with psych first week in January, I was focusing on 'that's near a month away, it's in the New Year I can put it to one side till then', but now it's the New Year it's hard to, but I need to focus so hard on pulling on all the hard work I've done in the past month to keep myself safe, and use that for this meeting, and make plans for afterwards to give myself a focus. I know that I can do this, but I also know that it's going to be harder than psychiatrist or anyone in their team could even imagine.

*shuts up now*

Oh and ps Hugo you said 'I'm seriously lacking faith in them at this stage. Myself too though.'

.... I can't blame you for lacking faith in them, but wanted you to know that I have a lot of faith in YOU. You have come so, so far, and I think you are great. This is really so hard sometimes but I believe in you.

That's pretty crap. I don't know much about psychiatry but are you allowed bring anyone with you(parent,sibling,friend) to see your getting a fair hearing.

Hugo Stiglitz

whatismyname wrote: »

Oh and ps Hugo you said 'I'm seriously lacking faith in them at this stage. Myself too though.'

.... I can't blame you for lacking faith in them, but wanted you to know that I have a lot of faith in YOU. You have come so, so far, and I think you are great. This is really so hard sometimes but I believe in you.

Too kind!

whatismyname

Hugo Stiglitz wrote: »

Jesus Christ. :eek::(

Yes... but problem is that they don't see it that way.

It's more of a 'we tried these things, they didn't work so we're removing them'... when my thing is 'let's look at why they didn't work. Let me tell you what was happening in my head when I was reacting like that, what it is triggering from childhood, what has been shown that most helps me calm when I react to that trigger rather than escalating it etc... work with me to take things forward... but no instead they are just completely black and white and 'we tried them, they didn't work, so we're removing them'.

They genuinely think that the decisions they made were for the best, and because they are all in agreement with each other there's nothing I can do at all, and of course I'm the mentally unwell one. The psychiatrist has indicated 'she doesn't like what we say, so she goes and acts out etc...' when that's so far from what it's about.

The diagnosis I have carries a lot of misunderstanding about people with it being attention seeking, manipulative etc, so whereas I was thinking 'work with them, let them in, be honest' etc... all that was ultimately happening was that they were seeing me as a difficult, complaining patient... (there is written evidence of this, it's not just my perception) and I wish so much that I'd known that as I would likely not have tried like I did to get my needs met, and get so unwell in the process.

But then... I say things like that and just sound crazy to them, so what can I do...

whatismyname

ken wrote: »

That's pretty crap. I don't know much about psychiatry but are you allowed bring anyone with you(parent,sibling,friend) to see your getting a fair hearing.

Thanks Ken.

I've been trying to get someone from the local advocacy service, as that's kinda their role.

Local advocacy service has unfortunately been understaffed and haven't been able to get anyone, and this week's appointment was too soon back for them in new year - but rescheduling psychiatrist would mean I wouldn't see them till late February.

I have no family here but I have friends I would happily take in, but they are all working.

I do have a friend I'm going to be able to meet up with in the afternoon though, and someone who is travelling who is happy for me to give them a call when done with psychiatrist.

These things aren't quite the same as taking someone in with me, but I had bad episodes after the last three times seeing psychiatrist, but have done relatively good since discharge from hospital almost a month ago, and want to continue that, so it's still good to get whatever supports I can in place to help me get through.

Hugo Stiglitz

I once enquired about a change in meds. He skimmed my file and said that I had tried half a dozen with the previous psych and then sorta did a "I dunno!" shoulder gesture. :rolleyes:

I won't name any meds here, but I know of at least another dozen medications that are popularly used for depression and anxiety, that I've never been on. Now I don't claim to be an expert on any of this, far from it! But surely I'm not a write-off just yet!

A common issue for me is anxiety in a stressful workplace. I was once told by a junior doctor "Oh, maybe you should just give up working then". I honestly didn't detect any sarcasm or anything in her voice.

bridgettedon

whatismyname wrote: »

Hey Bridgettedon

Sorry things have been so rough for you too.

I just wanted to say also that there's lots I could respond but I'm wary of posting too much here and getting too embroiled in it. I'm thinking trying to manage the feelings that the appointment brings, but without letting it overwhelm me, and I think if I start posting too much, it might start to get overwhelming, but on the other hand I might come back to it when I'm more sure if it's the right thing.

Thanks though

That's understandable. You need to do what is right for you. Sometimes I probably do put too much info up. Who knows who could be reading this.

I can't believe that you were treated like that by the psych. It's the worst thing that can happen. Your views and opinions are dismissed because you are the patient and they are the expert. I think we are the experts on our own lives. I don't mind having my point of view being discussed in a constructive and respectful matter.

I have a psych apt this week also. Here's hoping it goes alright.

whatismyname

bridgettedon wrote: »

That's understandable. You need to do what is right for you. Sometimes I probably do put too much info up. Who knows who could be reading this.

I can't believe that you were treated like that by the psych. It's the worst thing that can happen. Your views and opinions are dismissed because you are the patient and they are the expert. I think we are the experts on our own lives. I don't mind having my point of view being discussed in a constructive and respectful matter.

I have a psych apt this week also. Here's hoping it goes alright.

Thanks

What day is your appointment? I hope it goes ok.

And how I was treated by the psych is only a fraction of it. Unfortunately.

And it's less about who knows who might be reading here, for me, but more just not letting it overwhelm me. The emotional intensity can get triggered and can completely overwhelm me, and it's about trying to process and manage this stuff without letting it completely take over, you know?